BRAZENews: "Parking Lot" Show Results

Posted by Evan Hurley on 25 Oct 2015


Had a chance to catch up with the roving band of maniacs that make up the bulk of BRAZEN's non-stop trek around America's southland. These random pop-up "parking lot shows" in addition to shows in bars, state fairs, barns and the like are still at the heart of what BRAZEN is. A bare bones breeding ground for the sort of fighters we want for DEFIANCE.

Some guys like Reinhardt Hoffman, Cul the Reaper, and Levi Cole have moved beyond scrubbin' it on these shows. Some because they're special fly-ins, some because they're are now on tour with the main roster, some because they feel it's beneath them to participate, whatever the case... on this night, the boys of BRAZEN strapped it on for a handful of people in the parking lot of a car dealership in South Florida for an afternoon of killer pro wrestling action.

"2 F’N Xtreme" Elijah Cross took on the high flying Japanese import Sho Nakazawa. Cross tried as he might but the former low rent stunt man and background extra from several notable ad campaigns for energy drinks in the early 2000's just couldn't pull it together against the masked super junior Nakazawa. Cross went down after a spectacular corkscrew splash off the top rope.

Nathaniel "FDJr." Rust got one degree away from his hero (and according to him, long lost biological father) Frank Dylan James as he took on The Mastodon's running buddy, the big bad brawler from the Double Dragon Ranch in Tokyo Texas, MASSIVE Cowboy. The just under seven hulking feet tall Rust starts the match with a smile and a handshake... the Cowboy obliges and the two circle for just a moment before MC nails "FDJr." with a running axe handle across the chest that sends the big man sprawling. Nate gets little offense, completely outshined by MASSIVE Cowboy. MC picks up the win after a brutal rebound lariat.

Six man tag team action next as the team of aspiring R&B singer and former boxer Demetrius Sweat teams with the "Thugs 4 Hire" team of Emilio Byrd & Hurtlocker Holt take on everyone's favorite trio of weirdos The Midcard Experiment of Walter Levy, "Ol' Fishsticks" himself Hijo del Fishman Deluxe, and the masked man they simply call CAGE! The action is wild and wooly from jump street as T4H and Sweat meet Walter and the boys on the ramp for wild pre-bell slugfest. Once in the ring however, it was textbook teamwork from The Midcard Experiment. Ref Hector Navarro seems to have placed his mask in the right hands, as his nephew picks up the clean win for his team pinning Demetrius with the Rainbow Connection.

Next up we were treated to classic tag team action as The Angel City eXXXpress team of "Dapper" Don Hollywood & Flex Kruger team up to take on the Louisiana Bulldogs. The ACX boys, never ones to roll alone, had Rich Mahogany at ringside spelling trouble for the brothers Brandt from the word go. Denver and Oliver might have done pretty well against the ACX duo if not for Mahogany as Flex (per usual) made the entire match about him, constantly tagging himself in just when Don-Ho was really getting rolling. Sadly, poor communication, no teamwork and blatant help from ringside snagged Flex and Donny the win... this time.

In what I hesitate to call a match Angus and the ACX boys favorite weed dealer, Johnny Tie Dye, actually found his way to the ring. He grabbed a microphone, tapped it, was about to say something... when he was interrupted by possibly the most terrifying individual on the BRAZEN roster. The enforcer of Cul's Viking Cult... Torvald the Destroyer. The seven foot four inch behemoth's slow walk to the ring took longer than the "match" he had with the terrified Johnny Tie Dye. As soon as Torvald put boots to canvas it took maaaaybe a minute of Johnny desperately emptying his pockets offering all the bud he had on him to save his sad little life to absolutely no avail. I'm not quite sure where the two halves of Johnny are after that running spear Tor calls "Gungnir" but, uuuuuuh... yeah. I'm not sure if that big bastard has more than that one move in his arsenal... but from where I was sitting, it's all he goddamn needs. Jesus Christ.

The main event was another tag team affair but god DAMN was it good. The Rebel Yell tandem of J.J. Dixon and Earl Lee Roberts, representing Frank's Southern Bastards with brand new black and red "Mastodon" t-shirts, are out first. Knowing these two young men probably aren't long for the BRAZEN roster, they fans give them a huge ovation... one that's cut very short by the arrival of their opponents. Petey Garrett and Solomon Grendel, the Brutal Attack Force, walk slowly out from the curtain, Garrett with mic in hand. Paraphrasing here, but apparently these two are super bitter about not being promoted to DEF yet. Dixon and Roberts answered that complaint the way Frank taught 'em to... with good ol' fashioned violence! This one (once it finally got back in the ring) was classic tag team action at its very best. Both of these teams are stepping up their games at a very appropriate time as if rumors are true, some huge changes are on their way for the DEF and BRAZEN tag team and trios divisions. At the end of this showdown a DDT from Dixon to Grendel, a quick tag to Roberts and a massive bone jarring falling top rope headbutt from the wildman and that was all she wrote. Yet another huge win for the Southern Bastards crew!

Great afternoon of action from BRAZEN. 


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