Malak Garland Biography
Personal
Real Name
Malak Jonas Garland
Alias(es)
Snowflake Superstar, King of Cold, Keyboard Master
Hometown
Cheyenne, Wyoming
Birthday
June 19, 1999
Height
6'1"
Weight
210 lbs.
Handedness
Left
History
Biography
Malak Garland grew up in a town where not much took place. He was often left to his own devices to find entertainment sources, which ultimately led him to the underbelly of the internet. He soon noticed his trolling abilities were unmatched and allowed his addiction of upsetting people online to fuel his passion to pursue a career in entertainment.
Other Feds
None
Other Fed Titles
None
Other Fed Awards
Ranked No. 24 in TEFP Top 100 in 2020, Ranked No. 15 in TEFP Top 100 in 2021
Gimmick
The single most important question one person can ever ask is; what is the most dangerous place on the internet? The answer? The comments section. This is where the darkest, seediest, most morally depraved individuals flock to shred anything and everything to pieces. This is what caused three otherwise seemingly ordinary members of society to band together and create the group simply known as the Comments Section. There is always a comment to be made by this relentless, unfiltered, rude, and arrogant band of snowflake generation representatives. In fact, it is their goal to complain about everything and recruit as many keyboard warriors as possible.
Strengths
-Excellent complainer
-Can keep track of multiple text threads at once
-Covert at cheating
-Surprisingly solid in the ring
-Can keep track of multiple text threads at once
-Covert at cheating
-Surprisingly solid in the ring
Weaknesses
-Overly arrogant
-Easily distracted by phone
-Underestimates everyone
-Feelings get hurt easily
-Easily distracted by phone
-Underestimates everyone
-Feelings get hurt easily
Quotes
- I have no qualms going to HR with a complaint!
- I'm usually not one to stir the drama stick BUT...
- FIRST!
- Wow, lots to unpack here.
- Let’s start a dialogue about this.
- AVALANCHE!
- I am fretting HARD!
- My anxiety is rising! I need my safe space!