DEFIANCE Uncut 55

 

The screen fades up from black ...

Energetic music begins to to fade up ...

A white streak of electricity shoots across the screen backed by a red glow.

It's accompanied by an electrical sounding sizzle sound effect.

The 3D block letters of UNCUT appear but the angle obstructs a legible reading of the word at first sight.

The red-lined white streak shoots past the word as it continues to rotate and the background music swells.

As the letters tip upright and begin to reveal the five red letters back with a slight white glow, the white streaks fly behind the letters and wraps around the word angling down as the drumbeat hits and the theme is at full tilt only to abruptly end at the final presentation of the logo and a down note.

The logo fades and on a black screen, words in white appear one at a time.

THIS.

IS.

UNCUT.

Uncut immediately goes to the announcers table, where DDK and Angus are sitting.

DDK:
We have a very exciting, albeit different, episode of Uncut for you today. A no holds barred, empty arena match between The Fuse Bros. and Resident Evil. Tyler and Conor laid out the challenge a few weeks ago after they have continually been bested by these evil guys.

Angus:
Tall. Skinny. Terrifying. Something right out of a Stephen King novel. By the way, are you excited for It: Chapter 2?

DDK:
I don't watch horror movies.

Angus:
Figures.

♫ "Chemical Plant Zone" from Sonic the Hedgehog 2 ♫

Angus:
We're still doing intros?

DDK:
Yeah.

Angus:
Uhhh, hello, there's no crowd to hype!

Tyler and Conor emerge to (obviously) no reaction from the empty arena. Coming down ramp in their regular wrestling attire, Conor jumps over the top rope and Tyler goes through the top and middle one.

DDK:
We're looking to start things off right away-

The lights go out.

DDK:
The Fuse Bros. didn't know if Resident Evil was going to accept this offer but now we can see they have.

Angus:
You can see? I can't see shit!

After a good 30-seconds, the lights come back on and there, the two 7'0"+, lanky towering men stand, dressed all in black, with black hoodies hanging over top of their faces. As Tyler and Conor look to engage, referees Benny Doyle and Brian Slater come down the rampway to call the match.

The lights go out again.

DDK:
Really wish they would stop doing that!

Once again, after a good 30-seconds the lights dim on. There, surrounding the ring, in the first 3 rows of the empty arena are the accompanying resident evil men, dressed in the same black gear as the two 7-footers, although they are of typical height and weight. Their faces cannot be seen from the black cloaks covering their faces, either.

DDK:
What the hell?

Angus:
Well, the arena isn't so empty now, is it Keebs?

DDK:
I guess they're here for a front row seat.

Angus:
There were plenty of seats to choose from...

Tyler and Conor look around at the resident evil onlookers. While Conor looks scared, Tyler remains stoic and focused. He turns to his younger brother.

Tyler Fuse:
It doesn't matter. We end this tonight. We end this right now. Okay?

Conor takes a gulps but then nods.

Tyler motions to Benny Doyle.

Tyler Fuse:
Ring the bell.

DING DING

DDK:
So I take it this is, for all intended purposes, a tornado tag match...

Angus:
Of course it is you moron. No holds barred!

DDK:
Well Benny Doyle and Brian Slater are going to have a hard time in this one!

Tyler tosses Evil 1 into the ropes and launches himself towards the giant with a diving shoulder block! This knocks Evil 1 out of the ring and Tyler is barely able to hang on as he grabs the top and middle rope, pulling himself back into the squared circle. Conor, on the other hand, tosses Evil 2 into the ropes right near Tyler. As Evil 2 bounces off them, Conor hits a rolling cannonball into Evil 2's stomach. He gets up, sweeps the leg of Evil 2 and then looks towards his brother...

DDK:
Tyler's on the top rope... cross body block gets the other big man down!

The Fuse Bros. grab Evil 2 by his black tights and throw him over the top and to the floor below!

If The Gamers were in attendance, you could insert cheers here.

DDK:
It's all Fuse Bros. in the early going...

Conor bounces off the ropes, looking for a suicide dive.

DDK:
Oh my god! The Evils caught Conor in mid-air!

THUMP.

DDK:
And they just threw him against the steel stairs!

Tyler looks on, shocked. He quickly decides to rush the ropes too and dive through the top and middle one! Tyler knocks them both back, into the guardrail. He gets to his feet and looks at the resident evil spectators, sitting all around the first three rows of seats on the other side of the barrier.

DDK:
And just like that, Evil 1 gets his elbow into Tyler's head! Now Evil 2 with a right fist to the side of the head!

Angus:
You have to wonder how much the psyche of The Bros. is going to be affected with this, uh, silent audience. Then again, Conor wasn't even distracted and these guys just demolished him into the stairs! The odds look to be clearly against The Fuse Bros.! And I love it!

Evil 2 hurls Tyler into the ring post as he flips back upon sudden impact and back-first to the floor.

The Evils look at each other and nod. They each take a bro and roll them into the ring. Stepping over the top rope, the Evils pull The Fuse's to their feet and signal for the end.

A choke slam-

DDK:
NO! Conor slips out and Tyler rolls backwards! Both of them turn into the ropes...

Big boots!

DDK:
Back down The Fuse Bros. go! Here comes a second choke slam attempt...

Once again, The Fuse Bros. break free. They go for cross body blocks but they are caught by the Evils.

DDK:
Fall away slams!

The entourage in the crowd continues to sit in silence.

The Evils go for another choke slam on both Tyler and Conor.

Angus:
Yes! Choke slams! This baby is over!

ONE.

TWO.

KICKOUT!

DDK:
Not just yet!

Although you can't see their faces, The Evil's body language shows they are surprised. They both get to their feet. First, they toss Tyler into the corner and then Conor into the one across the way. The two Evils rush in, connecting with leaping splashes! Then they Irish whip The Bros. towards one another...

DDK:
Conor slides through Tyler's legs... both Bros. go at the opposite Evil member...

The Fuse Bros. jump in the air, hoping to connect with a forearm smash but they are caught in mid-air again, by their necks...

DDK:
SECOND CHOKE SLAMS!

Angus:
Not much of a fight at all! Thank god, it's over!

ONE.

TWO.

KICKOUT!

Again, the body language signifies The Evils are surprised. However, they are not rattled. Simply, they pull The Fuse's to their feet and throw them out of the ring!

Angus:
Okay, that's fine. Tyler and Conor are just delaying the inevitable!

Evil 1 exits, goes under the apron and pulls out a table. Evil 2 exits the other side of the ring, near Conor and pulls out a few chairs.

WHACK.

WHACK.

WHACK. WHACK.

Evil 2 unloads.

Meanwhile, Evil 1 sets the table up and then grabs Tyler by his neck with both hands.

CRACK!

DDK:
Double-handed choke slam through the table!! It has to be over now!

Angus:
I agree, but it doesn't look like the Resident Evils are done just yet...

Instead, Evil 2 drags Conor all the way around to the side where his brother is laying...

DDK:
Evil 2 hits a gorilla press slam on Conor, throwing him right on top of his older brother!

The Evils look at each other underneath their hoodies. They also look to be wearing ski masks but the hoodies are covering their faces so well, no one can be 100% sure.

Evil 1 gets onto the ring apron. He looks for a leg drop...

DDK:
The Fuse Bros. roll out of the way! Evil 1 goes right into the unbroken part of the table!

Evil 2 rushes in with a big boot but Tyler ducks it at the last second and Conor jumps onto the guardrail...

DDK:
SPINNING HEEL KICK KNOCKS EVIL 2 DOWN!

Tyler and Conor fall to one knee, trying their best to recover.

DDK:
It's clear that was everything The Fuse's had left in them... but they might have worked themselves back into this match!

Angus:
I'm not sure. Too little, too late. I know these Evil guys could definitely eat, well, anything... because they are 100% malnutritioned... but one thing is for sure, they have a high pain threshold! Both of them are getting to their feet!

The Evils rise, looking down at The Bros. with almost sympathetic body language.

Tyler's eyes shoot up. He screams at the top of his lungs and rushes towards the both of them... as he starts brawling and throwing a fury of left hands, Conor jumps into view behind him, straight into the arms of one of the Evils, hammering him down with left hands as well.

The brawl begins to spill further away from the ring and halfway up the ramp. Tyler hits a knee to the stomach of Evil 1 and then a Russian leg sweep while Conor connects with a kick to the gut and a diving DDT.

DDK:
The Fuse Bros. are doing it! They are overcoming these guys!

Angus:
Not so fast!

The Evils throw kicks at The Bros., pulling themselves to their feet and continuing to exchange lefts and rights. While Tyler and Conor are standing in there as best they can, it's soon realized The Evils are getting the upper hand. Working them to the top of the rampway, The Evils are able to hit 3-straight right hands without having The Fuse's get one back on them. Then, after two knee strikes, Tyler and Conor fall to one knee.

DDK:
Oh no... oh no... oh no...

Angus:
Oh yes!!!!

Taking The Fuse Bros. by their necks again, The Evils walk them towards opposite sides of the stage.

DDK:
Please don't do this! What have they done to you guys to begin with!?!?

Angus:
Exist, Keebs. EX-FUCKING-IST!!!

The Evils look for choke slams but both Tyler and Conor slip out of them. Enter (silent) pop here!

DDK:
They're free! Tyler with another left hand, Conor with a left hand as we-

The Evils crush The Bros. with two more big boots! Even though this is happening at opposite ends of the rampway, it's the same story for both Fuse A and B. The Resident Evils pick them up once more... by their necks...

DDK:
OH MY GOD NO.... DOUBLE CHOKE SLAMS OFF THE SIDES OF THE STAGE---

The Evils throw them off, only to realize neither of the brothers have landed with a thud.

DDK:
WHAT THE HELL!?!? TYLER AND CONOR LANDED ON THEIR FEET!!! THEY LANDED ON SOME STAGING JUST BELOW THEM!!!

Replays show both Tyler and Conor, -going off opposite ends of the stage,- were able to somehow, someway land on their feet. Tyler landed halfway down, on a staging unit and even more impressively, Conor Fuse landed on top of a guardrail, balancing himself perfectly. More replays show The Evils choke slammed The Fuse Bros. straight down, not back-first like a usual choke slam would be performed, probably due to standing on the edge of the rampway themselves.

DDK:
WHAT AN INCREDIBLE DISPLAY OF ATHLETICISM!!!

Within seconds, the body language displayed by The Evils is nothing but furious. Probably, without thinking, they decide to jump down and join Player One and Two.

WHAM!

CRACK!

DDK:
CONOR WITH A SUPERKICK TO EVIL 2 AND TYLER HITS A DROPKICK TO EVIL 1!!!

Silent "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" chants. However, the evil spectators still sit quietly in the first three rows, without doing anything.

DDK:
THAT WAS UNREAL! THE FUSE BROS. HAVE MORE LIVES LEFT!

Angus:
That has to be their last one!! It has to!

Tyler and Conor don't waste time. They pull The Evils to their feet and start hammering them around with left hands and forearm shots. Tyler hurls Evil 1 into and over the guardrail where the "crowd" would sit. Conor, on the other side, does the same.

DDK:
The Bros. are pummeling these Evils!

Benny Doyle and Brian Slater follow each fight making their way through the empty chairs. Tyler stops to pick one up.

Tyler Fuse:
Screw you!

WHACK!

WHACK!

He tosses it to the side and picks up another.

WHACK!

WHACK!

DDK:
Tyler Fuse using chairs to the back of Evil 1, many, many times!

Conor, on the other side of the arena, tosses Evil 2 into a section of empty chairs. Then he sets one up, takes numerous steps back and charges forward...

DDK:
Conor jumps onto the chair, launching himself across the way and into a spinning heel kick! Evil 2 goes down!!!

The brothers continue to fight The Evils towards the ring but more importantly, towards the 30+ onlookers sitting in the first three rows...

Angus:
I wouldn't go there if I were them.

However, to the announcer's surprise, the spectators still do not make a move, even though the action is going past them!

DDK:
Tyler kicks Evil 1 down a few rows... he's now right beside those onlookers!

Tyler pushes one of them off their chair and takes it, screaming.

WHACK.

WHACK.

None of the spectators do anything.

WHACK.

WHACK.

Tyler looks past the ring and to the other side, where Conor is seemingly in control of everything as well.

Tyler Fuse:
Annihilate him!!!

Conor looks over and smiles.

Conor Fuse:
With pleasure, dear brother!!!

Instead of pushing over an onlooker, Conor decides to jump on one of their laps...

DDK:
Flying clothesline to Evil 2!!

The Fuse's finally work The Evils to the edge of the guardrails. Placing them both on top of the rails, the brothers clothesline The Evils back into the padded floor below, while the referees follow.

Tyler looks back at the spectators with disgust. He jumps onto the guradrail.

DDK:
HURRICANRANA TO EVIL 1!

Tyler tosses him into the ring.

Conor, meanwhile, hurls Evil 2 into the ring post and then the steel stairs!

Conor Fuse:
Payback's a bitch!!!

Angus:
Oh real original line there...

Although well over-sized by The Evils, the brothers are able to get their lifeless bodies into the ring.

DDK:
This has to be-

DDK stops in his tracks. Angus doesn't even know what to say.

While Evil 1 and 2 are struggling, both of them are attempting to get to their feet...

Conor looks across the ring at his brother with a "fuck" type of expression on his face.

Tyler shakes it off. They both enter the ring...

DDK:
No way! Both Evils connect with big boots again to The Fuse's! How are they doing this? How have they recovered from this beating!?!?

Angus:
I don't know. I think it's spiritual... maybe they're like Mormons or something.

DDK:
Shut up...

The Evils lift the brothers up but this time look for tomb stones. Although Tyler and Conor try to fight out...

Thump.

Thump.

...They are hit.

DDK:
The Evils are still reeling, however. You can see it in their movement. And Tyler and Conor have kicked out of numerous choke slams...

The Evils look at each other and exit the ring. Pulling back the apron, the take out a table.

A second table.

A third table.

Working together at a frantic pace, The Evils set up the second table on top of the first one and then, as Evil 2 gets on the apron, the third table on top of the second.

DDK:
I do not like where this is going! We have three tables stacked on top of one another outside of the ring!

Angus:
This IS The Fuse Bros. last life!! Tell me god, please!

The Evils roll back into the ring with one final table. But before they set it up, they grab The Fuse's by their necks...

DDK:
DOUBLE CHOKE SLAMS!! Sadly, Angus, you may be right...

Evil 1 points to the top rope while Evil 2 nods. Evil 2 begins to ascend to the top buckle while Evil 1 places Conor in the middle of the ring, on top of the final table. Then, taking Tyler by his short messy hair, Evil 1 drags Tyler to the edge of the ring ropes, where the 3 tables are stacked on top of one another...

DDK:
Evil 2 is measuring Conor. You can tell he's not that comfortable up there...

Evil 1 makes a final gesture to Tyler Fuse. He grabs him by the neck, pulls him in the air and is about to throw him out of the ring and through all three tables on the outside when...

CRRRAAASSSSHHHH!!!
CRRRAAASSSSHHHH!!!
CRRRAAASSSSHHHH!!!

Again, this is where "holy shit" comments would be.

DDK:
I DON'T BELIEVE IT! CONOR FUSE JUST RUSHED OFF THE TABLE, RAN UP TO THE TOP ROPE AND TOSSED HIMSELF AND EVIL 2 THROUGH THE THREE STACKED UP TABLES ON THE OUTSIDE!!!

Meanwhile, Tyler slips free from Evil 1, jumps on the top rope and locks Evil 1's head underneath him...

CRRRAAASSSSHHHH!!!

DDK:
'CQC THROUGH THE TABLE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!

Again, the evil onlookers do nothing but watch...

Tyler slides out of the ring and takes one of the previous chairs that was laying there. He goes to the top rope...

Tyler Fuse:
FINISH HIM~!!!!!!

WHHAM!!!

DDK:
TYLER WITH A FROG SPLASH, PLACING THE CHAIR BETWEEN HIM AND RESIDENT EVIL!!!

Although Player One is in an incredible amount of pain, somehow he is able to slide the chair from underneath him and collapse on top of Evil 1 for the count.

ONE.

TWO.

THREE!!!

DING DING DING

Angus:
NO. NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

DDK:
Unbelievable! The Fuse Bros. have overcome their demons!!!

♫ "Chemical Plant Zone" from Sonic the Hedgehog 2 ♫

Tyler rolls onto his back and is immediately attended to by Benny Doyle. A few EMT's run down the rampway to check on Conor and the Resident Evils until the lights go out.

DDK:
Not this again!

Angus:
I would bet any money those other guys are about to storm the ring-... ???

The lights come back on. Resident Evil 1 and 2 are nowhere to be seen. The 30+ spectators have also left their seats.

Benny Doyle and the EMT's waste no time continuing to check on The Fuse Bros. as their theme music plays in the empty arena.

DDK:
What an amazing match! What an Uncut 55! I don't know what this means for the future of The Fuse Bros... or these evil guys for that matter but the next time we see you will be on pay-per-view next Sunday night! Take care everyone!

Angus: [off air]
The Fuse Bros. couldn't have been finished off tonight, huh? Man did those evil guys get my hopes up...