DEFIANCE Uncut 57

 

The screen fades up from black ...

Energetic music begins to to fade up ...

A white streak of electricity shoots across the screen backed by a red glow.

It's accompanied by an electrical sounding sizzle sound effect.

The 3D block letters of UNCUT appear but the angle obstructs a legible reading of the word at first sight.

The red-lined white streak shoots past the word as it continues to rotate and the background music swells.

As the letters tip upright and begin to reveal the five red letters back with a slight white glow, the white streaks flys behind the letters and wraps around the word angling down as the drumbeat hits and the theme is at full tilt only to abruptly end at the final presentation of the logo and a down note.

The logo fades and on a black screen, words in white appear one at a time.

THIS.

IS.

UNCUT.

DDK:
I’d like to be the first to welcome everybody to Uncut and we have a match in store for you on this edition pitting the Brazen brand star Cristiano Caballero up against DEFIANCE Wrestling’s own “The Biggest Boy” Dex Joy!! 

Angus:
In other words its a battle of two different high school cliques … it is the handsome jock against the nerdy big guy. Why did we hire him again? He got beat by Shooter Landell. 

DDK:
Landell used brass knuckles to beat him and then hid them in his trunks. Something tells me that Dex Joy won’t take that laying down. 

Angus:
That’s exactly what he took. He took an L while he was laying down after Landell punched his lights out. He’s gonna take another L against Caballero and lay down tonight too!

DDK:
We will see about that Angus. It is Caballero going one on one with Dex Joy right now!

♫ “Sexy Boy” by Air ♫

Quimbey:
Introducing first, from Barcelona, Spain, weighing in at 228lbs, CRISTIANOOOO CABALLEROOOOOO!

Cristiano Caballero emerges from the back and slowly saunters down to the ring with a rose between his teeth. He rounds the corner of the first ring and casts his eye over the front row. He slowly makes his way around the second ring before pointing to a blonde female. She stands up as he takes the rose from his mouth before running it under her chin. She smiles as she tries to take the rose, but Cristiano takes a step back and laughs as he shakes his head. He discards the rose before sliding into the first ring and takes his place in his corner.

The lights in the arena start to flicker on and off before simulating a blackout. The lights go out. Fans reach out for their cell phones and try to light up the Wrestle Plex. The lights start to slowly come back in the Wrestle Plex, section by section until on the big screen a cell phone battery display charges … charges … charges … and soon it’s at 1000%. “BIG DEX ENERGY!!!!” is on the screen!

Angus:
Oh not this Big Dex Energy crap again … 

DDK:
It’s a motto he lives his life by to go all out no matter what. 

Angus:
Puke. 

♫ “The Tempest (Need For Speed Remix)” by Pendulum ♫

Quimbey:
And introducing his opponent is from Los Angeles California … weighing in at 390 pounds … he is “The Biggest Boy” and “Dexy Baby” … DEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXX JOOOOYYYYYYY!!!!

The massive tank-like Dex Joy walks down the ramp and doesn’t take his eyes off Shooter. He looks very excited for the opportunity to be competing in front of the DEFIANCE faithful as he enters the squared circle. He is now in the ring and Caballero doesn’t look very impressed by Dex standing in front of him. He looks a little offended to share the ring with the big guy from LA. Regardless of this both men are ready. 

DING DING DING

DDK:
And we are under way! Dex wants to lock up but Caballero doesn’t want anything to do with him. 

Angus:
He looks gross and his singlet barely contains that stomach of his. 

Dex wants to mat wrestle but Cristiano ducks in between the ropes so he can avoid him. Dex backs off and the official of the match - Carly Ferrari - tries to get Cristiano back in the ring. He finally listens and walks up to Dex now with a boatload of confidence. He shoves Dex and tells the big newcomer to get out of his ring. 

Cristiano Caballero:
You don’t belong here! Get out! Get out now!

The Biggest Boy looks a little offended and starts to leave - but turns around and readies a punch that makes Cristiano fall on his backside! He shields his face when Dex has the crowd laughing. Big Dex Energy picks up Caballero off the mat and then picks him up from behind with a big take down. He grabs him by the waist and then throws Caballero down with a gut wrench suplex across the ring. 

DDK:
Dex controlling the match! He has some power in his frame. 

Angus:
I didn’t realize fat was the same thing as power. He’s looking really powerful in there then.  

Cristiano tries to stand when Dex comes out of the corner and wows the crowd with a front drop kick that knocks Caballero’s lights out! He flops over onto his back just as Dex stands up and takes in the cheers from the crowd. Caballero tries to escape on the ropes and ducks in between them once again in order to save himself from another beat down by the big man. The big man from Los Angeles doesn’t sit around to wait for him to retreat but when he tries grabbing him, Cristiano catches him by surprise!

DDK:
And Caballero catches him with an eye poke!

Angus:
Ha! Who should be the Brazen star now?

Dex staggers around holding his eye when Caballero finally lands a drop kick of his own! That drop kick doesn’t knock Dex off his feet but he does stumble back into the ropes where Caballero unleashes a running forearm to the face as he hits the ropes. Caballero then runs off the ropes and when Dex comes back his way he finally knocks him off his feet with the Pretty Sight!

Angus:
That kick is always a Pretty Sight! It’s like Caballero that it’s good looking and deadly. 

DDK:
And it could get him the win!

Dex Joy gets a jumping knee drop for his troubles as well and then goes for the cover to score the win!

One … 

Two …

But Dex’s shoulder rises off the canvas!

DDK:
That was almost a steal by Caballero, but Dex kicks out. He’s got fight in him. 

Angus:
And probably his weight in Golden Corral … 

Dex Joy gets booted in the head by Caballero and he tries to go for may be a DDT but gets a surprise when Dexy Baby gets back up and he throws him into a corner. Dex charges and then lands a splash that crushes Caballero in the corner. Dex then grabs his perfectly-tied man bun and then throws Caballero into the ropes before taking him in the air and throwing him down with a free fall drop. 

DDK:
The man known as Dexy Baby fighting back now!

Angus:
I can’t believe you just called him Dexy Baby. 

Dex has Caballero fighting when he clocks him with a big clothesline that knocks him down. He goes fumbling over the ropes and gets sent out to the floor. When he sees where Caballero is, the man known known as Dexy Baby punches the mat beneath him and encourages the crowd to clap. 

Angus:
Don’t tell me … 

DDK:
I have heard about this move. I’ve never seen it but he has told me about it … he’s got the crowd going now. 

The crowd starts to yell out “Whoaaaaaa!” as Dex runs from one side of the ring to the other. When Caballero sees him coming, the very last thing that he expects to see is Dex diving sideways through the ropes at enough speed to go flying through to land a tope suicida all the way to the floor!

DDK:
I CAN’T BELIEVE HE DID THAT! THAT WAS A FOUR-HUNDRED POUND MAN GOING THROUGH THE ROPES!!!! HE CALLS THAT THE WHOA-PE!!!!!

Angus:
Since when can busses do dives through the ropes?!

Dex takes a second to remember where he is and then takes Caballero back into the ring with him. Dexy Baby follows him and then he runs right through Caballero with a running lariat. Caballero doesn’t even know where he is when he pops back up. Dex pushes him into the ropes and then takes him back into the ring with a release belly to belly suplex that plants in the middle of the pine. Dex now goes to cover him. 

One … 

Two …

But Caballero now kicks out!

DDK:
Almost a three! Dex Joy is definitely a one of a kind athlete with moves like these high flying you don’t normally see from people like him. 

Angus:
Yeah, he can’t see his feet, but he wants to fly like that!

DDK:
Oh stop it!!! He’s got Caballero where he wants him! Can he get his first win in DEFIANCE Wrestling?

The Biggest Boy has Caballero where he wants him and throws him off the ropes to catch him for what looks like a pop up power bomb when Cristiano catches him by surprise with a sit out face buster on the way down. Caballero can’t follow up with a move right away and as Dex Joy tries to shield his face, Caballero goes behind him and drops him with a hangman face buster. He tries pinning Dex again. 

One … 

Two …

But Dex is out again!

DDK:
Caballero fought through all that to come back with that big set of face busters! Now where is he going?

Caballero reaches back and then grabs the legs of Dex but before he can get the legs over for his Spanish Inquisition Dex flips him over using his leg strength! Caballero is left dizzy when he tries to stand and Dex is already there to catch him … 

DDK:
Did you see Caballero just fly?!?! That’s called Dexy’s Midnight Runner and Caballero is in the corner now!

Angus:
Good lord Cris just got hit by a bus! 

The crowd sees Dex then go for the killing blow of the match with Caballero lined up perfectly in the corner. It’s there that Dex bounces around and then comes back and he absolutely crushes Caballero with a rolling senton in the corner!

Angus:
God, I could feel that over here!

DDK:
And now Dex goes for the win after a move he calls Jump for Joy!

Dex has Caballero out of the corner and covers him this time making sure he isn’t going anywhere. 

One … 

Two … 

Three!!!

Dex is ecstatic after his first win in DEFIANCE Wrestling! He stands up after pinning Caballero and then gets the cheers of the crowd. 

DDK:
Good win by Dex Joy after that loss to Shooter Landell … but now Dex has a microphone. What does he have to say?

Angus:
I’m all out of fat jokes don’t look at me. 

Before Dex’s music can play any more he calls for it to cut. He catches his breath and then starts up. 

Dex Joy:
Shooter McGavin! I mean Landell! Shooter Landell!!!

The fans laugh while Dex shrugs at his awful joke. 

Dex Joy:
You may think that you’re done with me after hitting me upside the head with a pair of knucks … but I am not done with you pally! 

He starts walking closer to a camera in front of him to talk directly to the locker room veteran. 

Dex Joy:
If you have the chutzpah to face me, I’m calling you out, Landell! And if you say yes … then you can count on me waiting for you in the ring on DEF TV! Or the parking lot! 

After another dated Happy Gilmore reference Dex throws the microphone to Benny Doyle who barely catches it. Dex waves to the people and leaves the ring. 

DDK:
You heard it here first! Is Shooter Landell going to accept Dex’s challenge for a rematch? You’ll have to find out on DEF TV!

Angus:
That’s a good sign off line .. wait I have another fat joke … 

DDK:
Nope I’m gonna do this part. Thanks for watching Uncut everybody!

Cut to an empty bar with some old school Dixieland jazz playing ever so softly in the background.

The Holy Ground, an Irish Pub in Mid City NOLA, is a dimly lit establishment with the stereotypical Irish-American decorations adorning the walls. The green bar top shines and glares from the harsh lighting above; with the exception of the well-worn spots coinciding with the wear of drunk and weary elbows; of the many who’ve passed through this tried and true intoxicating location. 

Tonight, the Holy Ground is practically empty. 

Practically… 

The lone patron is none other than the former Southern Heritage Champion, “Sub Pop” Scott Douglas. The bar has become a home away from home for Scott since relocating to New Orleans three years ago, save his four-month stint rehabbing a shoulder back in Seattle. 

Scott sits with a highball glass half empty, depending on how you look at it … but he seems perfectly content with the quiet. Beyond the bartender aimlessly shuffling through her phone causing the occasional burst of unintelligible audio and the dull clanking of a kitchen hidden behind the bar back wall. 

As all good moments will be; the shrill screech of the front door cuts through a scene as serene as a grunge kid from Seattle could hope for. Only rivaled by the dull clap of the said door slamming back against its frame. 

Where all was right for a moment, this brief interruption wouldn’t dare deem to register on the scale of nuisance; if it were not for … 

Terry Anderson:
As I live and breathe … 

Scott, shoulders square, whips his head toward the door. His greatest fear confirmed … Terry “The Idol” Anderson is in the house. 

Scott inhales deeply and lets it out slowly…

Scott Douglas:
Terry.

Terry Anderson nears Douglas’ bar seat and leans in to embrace the former DEFIANCE Champion but his pre-existing condition of constant intoxication causes him to stumble. 

Skipping over Scott, Terry catches himself on the next barstool and after some fumbling. He transitions from near fall to sitting atop the barstool and then responds as if he was the most graceful man alive.

Anderson:
Scott…

Scott, trying to save Terry what little dignity he has left, kept his head turned toward the door until Terry found his seat. That being said, he was obviously aware of what just went on to the other side of his respectfully aimed gaze.

Now turning toward Terry as he motions for a drink, Scott responds while slyly waving off the bartender. She goes back to her candies to be crushed and/or her insta’s to be grammed.

Douglas:
It seems as if the NOLA has taken you, Terry.

Terry attempts to laugh at the notion but violently hiccups instead while motioning even more fervently for a drink. Scott is distracted by “The Idols” dramatics and doesn’t wave off the bartender this time. 

Douglas:
… my point.

The former candy crusher delivers Terry a drink and then slinks away quickly with Scott’s glaring disapproval. 

Terry slams back the entirety of the glass and turns back to Scott.

Anderson:
… here was something about that city, though, it didn't let me feel guilty … 

Anderson wags a wild finger in pursuit of a drink. 

Anderson:
… that I had no feeling for the things so many others needed… it let me alone.  

Douglas, perplexed, purses his lips to respond but Anderson jumps in to give annotation.

Anderson:
Charles Bukowski.

Scott chuckles low and cynically through his response.

Douglas:
Well … that … was ... fun … ?

Now … two former enemies turned manager/client turned estranged acquaintances sit reunited but extremely awkwardly next to one another at the bar. The silence becomes deafening … regardless of the fact the bartender just hit advanced a level on the crushing of candy and the kitchen is the most motivated they’ve ever been: closing time.

You could cut the tension with a knife … 

There is no possible way this situation could become anymore awkward. 

The door screeches open once again and slam shut… 

“Sweet mother of monkey milk, it’s that guy!”

The voice is familiar, the intonation is familiar. 

The vocabulary… is definitely familiar. 

Scott Douglas turns away from Terry and towards the door, where former Southern Heritage Champion and FIST of DEFIANCE, Impulse, has entered the bar along with his manager/valet/girlfriend/life partner Calico Rose. 

Cally:
Scotty! What goes on? 

She power walks to him and glomps him with a big hug. Despite the weight of the prior conversation with the inattentive Terry Anderson, Scott smiles and returns the embrace. 

Impulse:
Scott.

Douglas:
Knox.

The two wrestlers shake hands as the bartender returns to the group. 

Cally:
Single malt, single malt, single malt, black coffee.

She points at herself, Scott, Impulse, and Terry, in that order. Dropping a handful of bills on the bar to cover the round, she sidles up to Terry. 

Anderson:
Hey!

Cally:
Hashtag. Touching butts, twenty-nineteen.

The normally stoic Impulse chuckles at his girl’s actions and takes a seat next to Sub Pop Scott.

Impulse:
So what’s good, sir?

Douglas:
Same shit, different day. You?

Cally:
Language!

They look at her, and they grin. 

Impulse:
Same.

Cally:
LANGUAGE!

Impulse:
Rosie, I didn’t say anything.

Cally:
You said ‘same.’ So you sorta did. Them Jedi mind tricks are a load’a malarky, RK. 

At this point, the bartender returns with their drinks. Cally drops another handful of bills on the bar and holds up her fist. He fist bumps, and she spreads them out. 

Cally:
To the BAWSman.

Douglas:
Who?

Impulse:
To the Bawsman. 

And they drink.

Douglas:
So what’s good? You still retired? 

Impulse smirks that knowing smirk that sold thousands of tickets. 

Impulse:
Never said I was retired, sir… just outta the life for now. 

The camera pans back as the trio continue to play catch up at the bar, Terry Anderson is practically asleep in his coffee.

As we fade out like an old sitcom, none other than Angus Skaaland is seen on the edge of the frame, both hands firmly clasped over each cheek, protectively.

Angus Skaaland:
What in the GORRAM hell are those two doing here!?  

Skaaland slinks out quietly feeling relieved his but remained untouched. For now.

Copyright.