Evolution TV 08

[DEFIANCE Wrestling will be brought to you by DA BRIM in...]

[5...]

[...4...]

[......3...]

[.........2......]

[............1.........]

[...]

[!FLASH!]

[Kevin “Satan” Alloy is sitting at Elijah Goldman’s desk, idling shuffling papers of no consequence as Steven Jackson(aka Mr. BRIM) is sitting on the opposite side.]

The orchestral intro of "Hurricane 3000" began to play, and it played for entirely too long. By the time the sound of hair metal brought Dragon Jones and Splenda out, the fans were bored and pissed off, and any cheers Dragon might have gotten were gone. Dragon of course didn't care, he went down to the ring pointing at his head and acting like he was a real big deal. Splenda was talking to him, probably reminding him that he needed this win to maintain even a chance at the playoffs. 

[At ringside, Jeff Andrews is now wearing a Da Brim over his usual John Deere truckers hat.]

Angus:
Lookin' good, slick!

Jeff:
Don't ever call me that again.

Angus:
What made you decide to come around to the team?

Jeff:
Elijah Goldman screaming in my earpiece that since we've got the damn things, we've got to try to sell them. I figured he'd shut up if I put the thing on. Meanwhile I got to watch Jonny Booya beat the dog piss out of the "new and improved" Dragon Jones so it wasn't a total loss.

Angus:
What's up with that, anyhow?

Jeff:
What, Jones or Booya?

Angus:
Either.

Jeff:
Who knows?

Angus:
Right. You want to send it back to Jimmy Kort in the back?

Jeff:
Is it gonna be any good?

Angus:
Who knows?

[Cut.]

Staffer: 
Just sign here, sir.

[He’s pacing.]

[Curtis Penn is walking a ditch around the locker room area.]

[He likes to believe that he is stomping a mud hole in Pete Whealdon’s ass.]

[He glances at the door and notices a camera lens poking through.]

Penn:
I’ll happily give you a promo if that’s what you’re looking for.

[The door inches open and Curt takes a seat in the corner of the room.]

Penn:
Honestly, I couldn’t tell you how long I’ve been trying to get him in to the ring.

[The him being referred to would be Pete Whealdon.]

Penn:
I was a little… um… is this a PG show?

[He rolls his shoulders upward signaling that he will change his verbiage.]

Penn:
I was a lil’ perturbed. I invited him into the group; I lugged him around from show to show. I was able to place him on cards by having him team up with me.  I gave Pete Whealdon a name to start with.

[His legs begin to bounce; he’s trying to hold his energy in check until the match.]

Penn:
I guess he decided that he would go further without a tag team partner. Well, he won’t be going any further in Evolution. Tonight, I stop him cold.

[He jumps off of the chair like someone just shocked him.]

Penn:
I’m going to leave him sucking wind in the ring and regretting ever turning his back on me.

[He walks to the door and opens it, gesturing for the camera man to leave. ]

[Fade to Defiance logo.]

[The office of Elijah Goldman is lit for comfort, not for television.  Despite the shadows, we can make out that Elijah is at his desk, pushed back in his chair with his fingers flexing against each other in a tension relieving exercise.]  

ELIJAH GOLDMAN:  
I'm glad you could make it.

[Across from him, sunk deep into a chair, is someone we can't immediately make out--but the brim (no, not Da Brim) of his brown, floppy hat and the large gnarled tree-branch walking stick in his hand should make it clear to anyone paying attention.]

JONAS ANGER:  
Happy to have been invited.

GOLDMAN:  
I just wanted to have a...friendly conversation...about your client.

ANGER:  
Yes.  A friendly...televised...conversation.

[Jonas Anger points a long, skinny finger towards the camera.  E-Gold looks to where Jonas is pointing and shrugs.]

GOLDMAN:
The camera?  Oh, that's just for show.  They never broadcast anything that happens in here.

ANGER:
My God, it's true what they say...

GOLDMAN:
What?

ANGER:
That you never watch any of your own shows.

[E-Gold clears his throat and forcibly changes he subject back to where he wanted.]

GOLDMAN:
Listen...I don't want to fight.  I just wanted a chance to talk to you.  Really haven't had the opportunity to do so since your arrival.  Lots of other things on my mind...

ANGER:
I can't imagine.

[The tone in Jonas Anger's answers is flat.  He doesn't really want to be here and doesn't really want to be having this "friendly conversation."]

GOLDMAN:
Let me cut to the chase here.  Your boy's become a pariah.  The boys in the back hate...hate...haaaaaaaaaate him...  He's become the most hated man in this company since--

ANGER:
You?

[Goldman smiles, uncomfortably.]

GOLDMAN:
Funny.

ANGER:
True, though.

[E-Gold takes a deep breath.  He shakes his head.  He wants to get his point across to Jonas Anger and Anger keeps blocking him.]

GOLDMAN:
Wrestlers are all fucking sharks...and your boy's taken a big knife to his own neck and opened it up, just to bleed in these shark infested waters.

ANGER:
You show a real love of this business and those who work for you.

[Goldman ignores Anger's sarcasm.]

GOLDMAN:
He's going to be killed tonight, you know that.

ANGER:
He's a big boy.  He can take care of himself.  He told me so.

GOLDMAN:
He's made himself a target of...well, everyone...

[Goldman reaches forward and jabs his finger into his phone.] 

GOLDMAN:
All week, this phone has rung off the hook.  I've fielded calls from people not in this match, begging to be put into this match just so they can get their hands on your boy.  People I've fired...people who left this company months ago...people who I thought had died...all want to get their hands around the neck of your client.

[Jonas Anger doesn't seem surprised or concerned.]

ANGER:
I say good luck to them...and good on my client for doing exactly what you told him to do.

[E-Gold sputters.]

GOLDMAN:
I what now?

ANGER:
If you're mad that my client flooded the podcast with segment after segment this week, then you only have yourself to blame.  You instructed him to do exactly what he did.

GOLDMAN:
I never--

[Jonas Anger pulls out a sheet of paper and unfolds it in order to read it.]

ANGER:
From:  The Office of Elijah Goldman.  To:  All EVO-8 Battle Royal Participants  Subject:   What I Want To See This Week.  Quote:  "Make certain you talk about every competitor in this match in a podcast this week."

GOLDMAN:
Right...instead of just talking about one or two competitors--talk about everybody in your podcast.  That's what I wanted.

ANGER:
But that's not what you said.  You said: Talk about every competitor in a podcast.  And that's what he did.  He did A podcast FOR each and every competitor in this match.

[South Park blink.]

GOLDMAN:
Jesus.  That's either sublimely brilliant or obviously stupid.  

ANGER:
We agree on something.

[Both men contemplate this unlikely moment of agreement.  Jonas Anger takes a deep breath.  He knows that he could sit here and be belligerent.  He could stall and avoid accepting the premise of Elijah Goldman's point.  Or, he could just get it over with...]

ANGER:
I've had nothing to do with anything that he's done all week.  So, if you've brought me in here to chastise me for things going all pear-shaped--that's not my doing.  But you should know that I'm not happy about it either.

GOLDMAN:
You've lost control of your monster, Dr. Frankenstein?

[Jonas doesn't take the bait.]

ANGER:
I put a lot of work into building a brand.  In one week, he's turned himself into just another guy...

[That's disgust you hear in the voice of Jonas Anger.]

GOLDMAN:
So, what are you going to do about it?

ANGER:
Well, that all depends.

GOLDMAN:
On what?

ANGER:
On how he does tonight.

GOLDMAN:
He's going to die tonight.

ANGER:
Maybe.  Maybe not.  

GOLDMAN:
He's one man against the whole world, Jonas.

ANGER:
Yeah.  Well, I trained him to take on the world.  One by one, he was going to eliminate everyone in his way.  That was always the plan.  Tonight, he's just decided to do it all at once.  Are you absolutely sure he can't manage it?

GOLDMAN:
So, ok...let's say he does just that.  Let's say he wins.  What then?  
 
ANGER:  
If Niklas Kiri wins tonight's Battle Royal...then, it won't matter what he's said...  Winning solves everything.

GOLDMAN:
You think a win erases that target on his back?

[Jonas laughs.]

ANGER:
No, of course not...but what it means is, he doesn't have to care.  I mean, whatever he's said, whatever he's doing...if he wins tonight's Battle Royal, then he's making it work.  He's walking the walk.  

GOLDMAN:
OK, but--

ANGER:
It doesn't matter how many checks he's writing if he can cash them.

GOLDMAN:
I get it--

ANGER:
Everybody wants to stop Godzilla...but who stops Godzilla?  Nobody. 

GOLDMAN:
ALL RIGHT!!!

[After stopping the barrage of analogies, E-Gold takes a second to process what Jonas has just told him.]

GOLDMAN:
So...if he wins tonight...you're just going to leave him be...on his own?

ANGER:
Far be it from me to get in his way...and woe be to anyone else who tries.

GOLDMAN:
And if he loses?  What will you do then?

ANGER:
If he loses...well, either he's dead and I go hunting for a brand new monster...or he survives.  And, if he survives...then he's mine.  And I will undo all of the damage that he's done this week to everything that I've done for him leading up to this week.  If he loses...I will turn him around.  I will re-direct him.  I will repackage him.  I'll find him a friend.  Everything will change.

GOLDMAN:  
So...a lot is riding on this match, then?

ANGER:
For him...everything.  For me...ehhhhh.  Give me some clay and I'll make a new monster overnight.  He's not my only client.  He's just an investment...and sometimes, investments go sour.

GOLDMAN:
Yeah.  Don't I know it.

[Another unlikely moment of connection between these two men.]

GOLDMAN:
So, what's your part to play in all of this?

ANGER:
What do you mean?

GOLDMAN:
Are you going to join in the festivities tonight?  Be there at ringside...guide him through the minefield he's walking into?  Provide the distraction that he might need to survive?

ANGER:
No.

[E-Gold seems surprised by Anger's blunt reply.]

GOLDMAN:
You're just going to watch from backstage?

ANGER:
Mr. Goldman, as soon as we're done with our friendly little conversation, and I think we are, I will be on my way.  I've got a lovely hotel room waiting for me and a morning flight to catch...

[Jonas uses his walking stick to push himself out of the comfy chair.]

GOLDMAN:
You're not even sticking around to see what happens in the Battle Royal?

[Jonas Anger, already on his feet and on his way out the door, stops.  He doesn't look back over his shoulder, back towards E-Gold.  Instead, he stares directly into the camera.  Directly at anyone who might be watching.]

ANGER:
No.  Tonight...Niklas Kiri is all on his own. 

‘Triple Threat’ action next as A Country Boy Can Survive by Hank Williams Jr. hit the PA and Sam Turner Jr. made his way down to the ring. Sam slapped hands with a few fans before climbing into the ring where he awaited the arrival of his opponents.

He didn’t have to wait long though, Ozzy Osbourne’s Walk On Water hit the PA and Yoshikazu YAZ made his way out to the top of the stage with Lisa Loeh in tow. YAZ waited at the top of the ramp as his music faded to be replaced by Dean Martin’s Ain’t That A Kick In The Head, which signified the arrival of one, Alceo Dentari.

Dentari emerged from the curtain and took his place to the side of YAZ. He stared down the ramp at Turner Jr. before turning to his running buddy, but YAZ was nowhere to be found. He’d dropped his entrance robe and started sprinting down to the ring, leaving Dentari and Loeh to share a bewildered look.

YAZ slid into the ring, rose to his feet and charged at Turner. Sam ducked a clothesline attempt and YAZ carried on running into the ropes. He rebounded and came back into a wall of man as Turner stood his ground and clapped his hands around YAZ’s head. Yoshikazu dropped to the mat as Alceo slid into the ring, rose to his feet, and hit Sam Turner Jr. from behind with a forearm across the upper back.

Turner spun around on the spot and caught a second shot from Dentari before planting a big headbutt deep into Alceo’s neck, knocking the little man down. From there the numbers game really started to get the better of Sam as YAZ got back to his feet and planted a jumping roundhouse kick into the side of his head. Sam stumbled forwards and Alceo grabbed onto his ankles as YAZ hit the ropes one more time and came back with a running knee to Sam’s shoulders which took the big man down to the mat.

Dentari managed to avoid being crushed by the 250lb country boy and got back to his feet to join YAZ in landing stomp after stomp into any part of Turner they could reach. Sam tried to pull his frame to the ropes, but Dentari dropped to his knees at Sam’s side and rained down right and left fists into his shoulderblades.

YAZ relented in his stomps and yelled a little bit of abuse at Turner Jr. as Dentari’s fists connected with the broad shoulders of the country boy. As one may expect, Dentari looked up at his ‘opponent’ and furrowed his brow in confusion. Turner tried to claw his way to the ropes again but was cut off by another stomp from YAZ who then turned to the crowd and raised his hands triumphantly.

Dentari got back to his feet and kept starting at the back of YAZ’s head, puzzled over his actions. Alceo shook his head slightly and returned his attention to Sam Turner Jr. Dentari leaned down and grabbed Turner by the head in an attempt to heave him up to his feet, but Sam fought back and threw a giant ham hock of a right hand deep into Dentari’s breadbasket. Alceo doubled over before being knocked down to the mat by an uppercut from Sam.

Sam rose to his feet and turned to YAZ, who had only just finished posing for the crowd, and charged in. A clothesline from Sam took YAZ over the top rope and out to the floor, which allowed Turner to focus solely on the smaller of his two opponents.

Dentari rolled over onto his front, but was pulled up to his feet by Sam with one hand as he grabbed onto the waistline of his pants and yanked him up. Dentari threw a wild elbow that connected with Sam’s breast, but the country boy ignored it and caught Alceo’s arm. Sam spun Alceo around and whipped him hard to the corner of the ring. Alceo crashed into the turnbuckles and bounced right back out, he stumbled forwards into a big flapjack.

YAZ meanwhile climbed up onto the apron, and then to the top rope, where he perched awaiting Sam Turner Jr. to face him. Sam did just as YAZ was hoping and spun around to see Yoshikazu sail off the top rope with a crossbody. Sam reached up and caught YAZ before turning and slamming him with a powerslam reversal!

Sam stuck the landing and got the cover!

ONE!

TWO!

YAZ kicked out at the same time as Alceo threw himself in to break up the cover.

Alceo scrambled to his feet quicker than Turner could manage and fired a hard kick, similar to those one may see on the soccer field, at Sam’s chest. Dentari grabbed Turner in a front face lock and shouted at YAZ to help him. YAZ rolled out from beneath the hold rolled to the apron to gather his bearings.

Alceo, still waiting for the assistance turned his attention to YAZ momentarily, but that was all Turner Jr. needed to heave himself to his feet and lift Alceo up with him. Sam pushed Alceo away and threw him several feet into the air. Alceo came crashing back down to the mat close by YAZ’s position on the apron.

Alceo clutched at his chest before lashing out at YAZ and slapping him on the arm. A furious Dentari shrugged and gestured in STJ’s direction, which was only met by YAZ averting his gaze and dropping to the floor. Alceo shouted after his supposed opponent but YAZ waved him off, which drew the ire of Dentari. Alceo was about to drop from the apron and go after YAZ, but Sam Turner Jr. made sure to remind him that he was in the match as well as he grabbed Dentari by the collar and brought a hard forearm down across Dentari’s chest.

Sam spun Dentari around, placed his hands under Alceo’s armpits and brought him back into the ring with a throw. Alceo tried to retreat on his hands and knees to the other side of the ring, but Sam dropped an elbow down across the small of his back. Alceo reached out for the ropes again and got another elbow dropped down across his spine. Sam rolled Alceo over onto his back and covered him.

ONE!

TWO!

YAZ slid into the ring and dropped an axehandle across Turner’s shoulders, breaking up the pin.

YAZ grabbed Turner by the back of his overalls and pulled him up to his feet. Sam turned around into a backhand chop to the chest, followed by another, and then another. Soon enough YAZ had chopped STJ back into the corner of the ring and continued chopping away, lighting up Sam’s chest in the process. YAZ threw a straight kick to the midsection of STJ and raised a knee into his chin as he folded over. Sam fell back into the corner of the ring on his ass as YAZ hit the ropes and came back with a face wash boot.

YAZ laughed out loud at some of the fans in the front row, who were booing him loudly, before grabbing Turner by the foot and dragging him just far enough from the ropes where he could go for a cover!

ONE!

TWO!

Turner kicked out convincingly.

YAZ wasted no time in getting back on the offensive and grabbed Turner’s arm to lock in an armbar. Sam didn’t want to stay in the hold for too long though, and tried to roll to his side to alleviate the pressure. Slowly but surely Sam managed to roll over, but YAZ wouldn’t release the hold. Sam forced his way up to his knees, and then to his feet, all the while YAZ pulled at the arm.

Finally Sam broke the hold as, with one massive feat of strength, he lifted YAZ and dropped him right back down onto his neck and shoulderblades in a powerbomb. YAZ’s grip loosened and Sam got the cover!

ONE!

TWO!

Alceo Dentari threw himself into the pin to break it up!

Dentari put all of his weight behind a push that removed Turner from YAZ’s chest and tried to bring his running buddy/opponent around by slapping him in the face gently. YAZ wasn’t coming to though, and Alceo had no choice but to turn his attention back to STJ.

Turner Jr. had gotten back to his feet and charged at Alceo with a clothesline, Dentari ducked and went behind on Sam, dropped to his knees and lifted a desperate forearm up between his legs. Sam’s eyes crossed and he dropped to his knees as Dentari hit the ropes and came back with a bulldog that drove Sam’s face into the mat.

Alceo got back to his feet and received a talking to from the referee, which was about all he could do as Dentari’s low blow was as legal as a headlock in a triple threat match. Alceo pushed his way past the ref and pulled Sam’s face from the canvas. Alceo hooked a couple of fingers into Sam’s nostrils and pulled back on his head. Sam Turner Jr. squealed like a stuck pig as he clawed at Alceo’s hands and kicked at the mat with his feet until Dentari finally released the ‘hold’.

Again Alceo got a talking to from the referee and again Alceo ignored him. Dentari grabbed Sam by the hair and pulled him up to his feet, raked his eyes and pushed him back into the corner of the ring. Dentari threw wild right hands in, connecting with Sam’s head and jaw, and continued to throw punches even when Sam slumped in the corner.

Yoshizaku YAZ reappeared at that point and tapped Alceo on the shoulder. He held onto his own shoulder but guestured for Alceo to do something with Sam Turner Jr. Dentari, not used to taking directions from YAZ, shook his head and laid a stomp into Turner’s forehead. YAZ grabbed Alceo by the shoulder and spun him round.

YAZ and Dentari stood staring each other in the eyes for a moment without saying a word. YAZ pointed at Dentari and said something that not even the lip readers could pick up, but it led to Dentari grabbing Turner by the underarms and heaving his frame up to a vertical base, albeit reluctantly.

YAZ motioned for Dentari to take him further into the ring, which Alceo obliged. Once he had Turner in position, Alceo hooked his arms behind his back and faced him towards YAZ.

YAZ leapt into the air and threw out a crescent kick!

But Turner moved out of the way, leaving Dentari in the firing line of YAZ’s kick!

Dentari collapsed to the floor as YAZ looked on stunned, and Sam saw his opportunity. He grabbed YAZ by the back of the neck and pushed him to the ropes, sending YAZ sailing over the top to the arena floor. Sam turned and threw himself on top of Alceo. He hooked the leg for good measure!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!!!

Winner: Sam Turner, Jr [+10]

Angus:
I'm telling you. There's something weird going on with Yoshikazu YAZ.

Jeff:
I don't know what you're talking about.

Angus:
I think you do.

Jeff:
I don't give a shit what you think.

Angus:
Where was the Shotei?

Jeff:
I plead the 5th.

Angus:
The mist?

Jeff:
One-two-three-four-FIFTH!

Angus:
And what about all that trashtalk? I thought he was some kind of a mute?

Jeff: [singing]
OF AAAAAALL THE AMENMENTS OUT THERE TO CHOOOOSE FROOOOOM-I PLEAD THE FIFTH.

Angus:
Pfft. Whatevz.

Jeff:
You ready to move on to the Battle Royal?

Angus:
Fine.

[Cut.]

[Filling up most of the hallway that connects the locker room area to the back of the entrance area is Niklas Kiri, who is walking briskly towards the staging area.  Kiri is dressed entirely in black tonight--and the camera pans up to show his black boots, his black shorts and a black t-shirt with purple lettering on it.]

KIRI:
Is that camera on?

[The camera lingers on the words found on that t-shirt.  Those letters, spread across the massiveness that is Niklas Kiri's midsection, are easily read: "Trust Nobody.  Kill Everybody.  Evolution"]

KIRI:
In a Battle Royal, everyone fights everyone else...and the winner is the last man standing.

[The camera pans up to see that Niklas Kiri is wild-eyed and totally amped up.]

KIRI:
Tonight will be different.  Tonight, in THIS Battle Royal...EVERYONE fights ME.  And the winner will be the last MONSTER standing...more accurately, the ONLY monster....

[Kiri's face erupts into a crazed grin.]

KIRI:
Me.  

[The big man rubs his padded gloved hands together, eagerly.]

KIRI:
War is hell...and hell is hot...and I am bringing the heat...because I plan on roasting marshmallows on the charred embers of so many proud careers.  I plan taking on all comers and taking out all those who take me on.  I plan on emerging victorious from the flames of hell that will be this Battle Royal.  

[Niklas Kiri puffs out his chest with pride and smiles with self-satisfied delight.]

KIRI:
One man aga--no.

[Kiri catches himself.  This woud not be the time to make a mistake.]  

KIRI:
One MONSTER against the world..  The world will simply have to lose.

[The idea makes the big man laugh...and the big man laughing shakes the entire hallway.]

KIRI:
If war is hell...then let's have a war!  

[The camera stays behind as the man, the monster, that is Niklas Kiri enters the darkness of the backstage area.]

[This segment has been previously taped.]

[Time:  Mid-day of the Evolution show.]

[Artist: Mike Sloan]

[Mike steps out of the Navy Blue F-150, only to reach over and pull out a black cowboy hat. He places it on his head steps to the rear of the truck and pulls out his bag of gear. ]

[With the bag over his shoulder he begins to walk into the arena only to be molested by a camera.]

Sloan:
So, this is where I’m supposed to tell ya’ll that I’ve decided that I might have a chance in the battle royal tonight.  Well…

[He smiles into the camera and tips his cowboy hat up just a bit.]

Sloan:
Did ya’ll really think that I’d walk into this match with a plan to lose? Lookie here, I started this career with nothing except the clothes on my back and with only one dream. That dream has been fulfilled with every step I’ve made.   And tonight I have another chance to add to my dream.

[Even his eyes smile while he talks.]

Sloan:
I’ve done the math… All I have to do is win this match and eliminate one person, and then I will be tied with the point’s leader, a man I’ve already defeated, Alecio Dentari. 

[He pulls his hat back down so now the shadow of the brim covers his eyes.]

Sloan:
That old cliché of a line has already been said… It means nothing if it doesn’t happen in Defiance. Well, my retort would be it doesn’t matter until it happens to me.   And by the end of this Defiance Season I will be the Defiance Champion.

[He brushes past the camera and it films until he is checked in by the security guard at the entrance.]

Jeff:
And now it’s time to get to the main reason we’re here tonight!