DEFCON 2020

The generic rock introductory music starts up and seconds later several massive pillars of pyrotechnics shoot up from the stage and down the ramp. As the Lakefront Arena’s big crane cam swoops down over the crowd and a few signs. They aren’t what they used to be.

DEFIANCE’s irreplaceable announce team of “Downtown” Darren Keebler and the one and only Angus Skaaland, begins the broadcast as the camera continues to capture the Faithful going wild.

DDK:
Ladies and Gentlemen of the FAITHFUL! WELCOME TO Lake Front Arena in New Orleans, Louisiana for DEFCON 2020!

Angus:
For starters, we are ALWAYS in New Orleans and secondly … last DEFCON was 2018… what the hell happened to 2019!?!

The camera cranes across the larger than normal audience one last time as it finally settles on Darren and Angus at the commentary booth.

DDK:
Obviously, Angus, DEFIANCE and our events run on more of a floating schedule than a hard and fast set date system.

Angus:
I’ve got a hard and fast system.

DDK:
You really have to tone that down, Angus… Especially with the late breaking news about the ownership of DEFIANCE changing hands for the first time since DEFtv 100! Our new benefactors, Favoured Saints Financial recently released the news that they now own DEFIANCE Wrestling and the Wrestle-Plex! But folks, I’m here to tell you first hand we have been promised there will be little to no changes to the product you know and love! 

Angus:
Except, Kelly Evan is … OUTTTTTA HERE! 

DDK:
Very true, partner. Kelly Evan, who has been off of DEFIANCE television for a few months now was crucial in the negotiations and everything that went into the sale and further preservation of DEFIANCE. That being said, I speak for everyone here at DEFIANCE when I say we wish Kelly well in all her … 

Angus:
SPEAK … FOR … YOUR … GORRAM … SELF!!!!

Production, wisely cuts to the first graphic. 

TRIPLE THREAT MATCH:
DEX JOY VERSUS CARNY SINCLAIR VERSUS SCROW

DDK:
These three DEFIANCE newcomers have found themselves in quite the triangular quarrel but tonight… this newly found score is settled! The misunderstood Scrow…

Angus:
Creepy ass weirdo! 

DDK:
The wiley Carny Sinclair...

Angus:
Weird ass weirdo! 

DDK:
… And the Faithful favorite, The “Biggest Boy” Dex Joy! 

Angus:
BIG ASS weirdo! That whole thing he has with Nathaniel Eye … just weirds me right the hell out!

DDK:
Friendship?

Angus:
YEAH! That shit is gorram weird! 

DDK:
Speaking of Nathaniel Eye, he and Dex were recently victorious in a tag match over the enigmatic pair, Scrow and Carny Sinclair.

Angus:
Don’t rhyme.

DDK:
Dex then laid out the challenge for a triple threat match to take on both men at the same time and I have to wonder, Angus; Is Dex Joy biting off more than chew? 

Angus:
Are you kidding me… ? Seriously… Are you REALLY going to just GORRAM tee me up like that? 

DDK:
Moving on! An additional note on Nathaniel Eye, as the result of the attack suffered at the hands of his newly found enemies, as opposed to previous reports …

Angus:
SUCK IT LANCE! 

DDK:
He is not cleared for action tonight … but I spoke with Dr. Iris Davine, head of DEFmed just before going live tonight and she is certain that he will be cleared and ready to take on The Dunson Clan next week on DEFIANCE UNCUT! Be sure to check that out … 

Next graphic. 

JACK HARMEN VS. “MAD DOG” JACK VALENTINE:

DDK:
It’s a battle as old as time in our sport of professional wrestling. The young gun versus the established veteran. Long time DEFIANCE star “The Wildcard” Jack Harmen has been the target of both verbal and physical assaults by “Mad Dog” Jack Valentine ever since Harmen suffered an upset loss to Minute on DEFtv 128.

Angus:
Did they just give you Lance’s copy from UNCUT or are you and that stick up the ass personified just made for one another? 

DDK: [ignoring]
We haven’t heard much from either competitor recently but from what little we know of Valentine and a bevy of experience watching Harmen … something tells me this will be one knock - drag out - fight! 

Angus:
Jack on Jack! Double Jacks! Oh, dopple-jacks! I should probably key both of their cars to be safe.

Next;

THE COMMENTS SECTION VERSUS THUGS 4 HIRE

Angus:
Oh! The Comments Section! These guys are hysterical! They get it… they really do. 

DDK:
Tonight, DEFIANCE’s freshest trio will have to put down the phones and go toe to toe with Emilio Byrd and Hurtlocker Holt, Thugs 4 HIRE! Recently, The Comments Section attacked the Thugs …

Angus:
… for Hire.

DDK:
…  on DEFtv 132.

Angus:
… out in front of a home depot. 

DDK:
ANGUS! 

Wisely, next graphic. 

THE POP CULTURE PHENOMS VERSUS SEATTLE’S BEST

Angus
Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo …. 

Darren waits but Angus doesn’t relent. Keebler begins talks over his broadcast partner instead.

DDK:
Two weeks ago on DEFtv, we saw The Pop Culture Phenoms reunite and dastardly decimate Scott Douglas and Kerry Kuroyama. The feud that would begin with Elise Ares losing the Southern Heritage championship to Gage Blackwood …

Gage’s name and incredibly pissy attitude, snaps Angus out of his boo. 

Angus:
THE CHAMP!

Darren takes the victories he can get and just keeps plugging along.

DDK:
Only then to be questioned as to whether or not she was the greatest SoHer of all time … After suffering a defeat to another highly-regarded SoHer Titleholder “Sub Pop” Scott Douglas, Elise was hell-bent on a rematch. 

Angus:
Enter K-Cups and his highly caffeinated dumbassery!

DDK:
Somewhat accurate as, Kerry … desperately seeking his rubber match revenge on The D ...who caused him to miss out on the ACE of DEFIANCE, fell for the trickery and in the end; Seattle’s Best lay beaten and bloodied in the middle of the ring. 

Angus:
And the boy scouts are FIRED UP! Which is optimal, can’t pop boy scout popcorn without fire! 

DDK:
I suppose? At any rate, The PCP reunite for the first time in almost a year and a half to take on the team of Kerry Kuroyama and his friend, “Sub Pop” Scott Douglas also known as Seattle’s Best!

Angus:
I’ll take mine with Baileys!

DDK:
What … ?

Angus:
You’re not taking coffee orders? … WHAT IS YOUR JOB HERE!? 

Moving on to the next graphic. 

FUSE BROS 360 VERSUS GULF COAST CONNECTION

DDK:
Fuse Bros 360, undoubtedly armed with that Game Shark … take on the Gulf Coast Connection after having banished The WrestleFriends back to BRAZEN! 

Angus:
Wrestledork!? Uh, buh-bye.

DDK:
I would wager to say the Brothers 360 had the “achievements” in mind but found themselves amidst a beef with the Gulf Coast Connection, when the newly formed and highly unorthodox team of Uriel Cortez and Minute moved along to a title shot thanks to the GCC! 

Angus:
Don’t try and talk like that Wrestle Dork Oscar Burns, Keebs. 

DDK:
The newly returned Desire, would ultimately betray the Connection and attack the Crescent City Kid, putting him out of action! Now, The Fuse Bros 360 take on Aaron King and Theodore Cain!

Angus:
Kaleko vision or GTFO! 

DDK:
GTFO?

Angus:
GET THE FU -- 

DDK:
MOVING ON!

Next graphic, and the first one with a big shiny belt! 

DEFIANCE SOUTHERN HERITAGE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH:
GAGE BLACKWOOD © VS. “THE LOST CAUSE” VICTOR VACIO

DDK:
We have three big title matches in the main events of DEFCON and the prestigious Southern Heritage title is the first up for grabs tonight!  

Angus:
It’s prestigious now! Now that a REAL champion has it! 

DDK:
I can’t disagree … as much as I would like to. Gage Blackwood has left a path of destruction in his wake; with Shooter Landell and Gunther Adler by his side. He defeated Scott Douglas, then beat Elise Ares to win the Southern Heritage Title, followed quickly by tearing through a series of BRAZEN stars that have stepped up to challenge including top stars Levi Cole, Howlin’ Joe Wolfe and “Wingman” Titus Campbell. Now, he takes on “The Lost Cause” Victor Vacio. 

Angus:
… this sounds SO GORRAM familar.

DDK:
Victor Vacio voluntarily VACATED the BRAZEN Championship for the opportunity for a title match against the reigning Southern Heritage Champion. An unprecedented move in DEFIANCE and through sacrifice it seems Vacio has punched his own ticket to the main roster. Victor Vacio is known among BRAZEN as one of the most dangerous people in its history, but Gage has been on another level since returning from injury several months ago. 

Angus:
… the weirdest deja vu.

DDK:
Will Gage Blackwood continue his path of destruction and retain the SoHer or will Victor Vacio prove his sacrifice worthwhile? 

Angus:
Next match. These two are creeping me the hell out… see hold on, I feel like I’ve said this before. Or heard it -- 

Next; 

DEFIANCE UNIFIED TAG TEAM TITLES MATCH:
THE STEVENS DYNASTY VERSUS “TITAN OF INDUSTRY” URIEL CORTEZ AND “THE SKY HIGH KID” MINUTE
(If The Stevens Dynasty get DQed or counted out, they lose the titles)

DDK:
“The Titan of Industry” Uriel Cortez. “The Sky High Kid” Minute. Two men who had nothing to do with one another until a few shorts months ago. They won a Tag Team Opportunity Battle Royale, then defeated Fuse Bros 360 to earn a shot at the Unified Tag Team Titles. On 131, they had their shot, only for Bo Stevens to get The Stevens Dynasty disqualified to retain. 

Angus is oddly quiet.

DDK:
The Stevens Dynasty have been THE team to beat since June of last year. They successfully unified the Trios and the World Tag Team Titles to create the Unified Tag Team Titles today. Now, they’ll defend the collection of five titles against Uriel Cortez. 

Suddenly we cut away from the graphic and back to Angus and Darren. Skaaland reaches over, snatching Darren’s papers from his hands. Nearly destroying them in the process. He scans them quickly before snapping his accusatory glare back toward Keebler.

Angus:
I knew it! This is literally Lance’s copy from UNCUT! Ohhhhh, Keebs … Shame, shame … I know you naaaame! 

DDK:
I will hardly sit here and take any sort of ethical criticism from the man child in a novelty tuxedo t shirt with a fifth more than a HINT of liquor on his breath! That being said it’s been a busy week, with meetings and sale of the company … Lance lent me his notes for a rough guideline.

Angus:
Guideline? Some of this is straight-up verbatim!! Even one of the things I said … wait … damnit!

DDK: [moving on vigorously]
AND LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST … 

Angus:
Hey, hold on … not so fast.

DDK:
MIKEY UNLIKELY!

Angus’ instant rage causes him to forget anything else going on at the moment. Well played, Keebs.

Angus:
That McFuckass-Sonofa-BITCH! ,

Final graphic; 

FIST OF DEFIANCE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH:
“TWISTS AND TURNS” OSCAR BURNS VS. “THE WORLD’S GREATEST SPORTS ENTERTAINER” MIKEY UNLIKELY

DDK:
That’s right! Mikey Unlikely gets his long-awaited rematch against the reigning FIST of DEFIANCE “Twists and Turns” Oscar Burns! The fighting champion that DEFIANCE deserves; for nearly a year now Oscar Burn’s has been taking on ALL challengers and putting them down handily! After defeating Mikey with a roll-up at DEFIANCE Road… The former Southern Heritage Champion and  Tag Team Champion was more determined than ever to reach the mountain top and claim the FIST! 

Angus:
And after trying to SNOW us all, unsuccessfully I MIGHT ADDDDD! He showed his true McFuckass-ness… sending Burnie boy to Twist and Turn of the stage! 

DDK:
Burns originally denied Mikey Unlikely from any chance at a rematch, gien his untrustworthy attitude and heinous actions, but week after week as Burns tried to defend the FIST and add to his impressive resume as a dominant champion, Mikey hit him where it hurts… the ring. Multiple challenges and matches ruined before Burns finally SNAPPED. He headbutted Mikey Unlikely, busted him open and accepted his challenge for this massive rematch. 

Cut back to Angus and Darren, as Angus snatches the papers away from Darren once again. 

Angus:
That is  WORD for WORD! Jesus, Keebs! 

DDK:
Folks, Mikey Unlikely could walk away tonight as the FIST of DEFIANCE and the FIRST ever Triple Crown Champion!

Angus:
The HELL he will! Oh, THE GORRRRAM HELL HE WILL! 

Works every time.

DDK:
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a hell of a show and without further pop and circumstance let's get down to the ring and get this incredible night of action, LIVE on PPV from the LakeFront Arena started! 

Angus:
OH, no, no, no, no! You don’t just move on from a comment like that! Take it back! GORRAM take it back! I swear, if McFuckass-face wins tonight… I’ll … I’ll eat my hat! 

DDK:
You’re not wearing a hat.

Angus:
Point. Counterpoint. If that slimey, son of a bitch wins tonight … I … I … I’ll QUIT! Say la’ Evans! I’m out the GORRAM door! 

DDK:
One can dream.

Angus:
Oh, shut it, Keebs. You wouldn’t know what to do without me! … Or Lance’s notes! HEYYOOO!!

Cut to the ring.

DDK:
We gonna start things off with a bang tonight folks here at DEFCON! In the  triple threat match-up between the unlikely alliance of Carny Sinclair and the mysterious Scrow and the man has been running afoul of both in the last few months, “The Biggest Boy” Dex Joy! At Defiance Road, Scrow made his debut watching Dex and seemed obsessed with the rising popularity of the DEFIANCE Wrestling star. 

Angus:
I like Dex smashing things. I hate Dex doing everything else so I don’t get why. 

DDK:
You may not like him but I guarantee the DEFIANCE Wrestling faithful do! Carny Sinclair has been a quiet manipulator that Scrow has wanted to befriend since he got here and it seems like Scrow is receptive to that. Dex Joy and his friend, Brazen star Nathaniel Eye, won a big tag team match before this show but both Scrow and Carny Sinclair got the last word in by accepting their challenge with an unprovoked assault on Nathaniel Eye backstage!

Angus:
He has been sticking his pretty boy nose where it doesn’t belong and now he paid for it. I’d hardly call it unprovoked. 

DDK:
Well, here we are now! Dex Joy wanted them both in this match but I have a feeling we could be looking at more of a glorified handicap match if Scrow and Carny Sinclair work together. The entrances are about to begin now so let’s get to the action!

♫ Death Angel by The Enigma TNG ♫

The DEFiatron shows a field of yellow grass as it pans out, the camera pulls away from the DEFiatron showing Scrow standing in a scarecrow pose, on the stage below the DEFiatron. The stage floor area is engulfed in yellow smoke. Scrow comes to life, he slowly heads to the ring staring down but his eyes look up through his burlap mask. Just behind him, the shot is able to catch the DEFiatron behind him.

On the DEFiatron the back of Scrow’s head is on the DEFiatron, and he quickly turns his head in the mask he is currently wearing to the ring with a sadistic smile with his name in jagged lettering next to him appearing on the DEFiatron.

Darren Quimbey:
The following match is a Triple Threat Match! Making his way to the ring from the Fields of Torment ...SCROW!

The camera stays focused on Scrow’s face while the lights flash on and off giving off a horror like vibe. He reaches the ringside area he walks toward the steps and climbs the steps and then climbs the turnbuckles. He stands on the top turnbuckle and does another scarecrow pose this time a spot light from behind him shows a shadow on top of the ring mat of a scarecrow.

The lights return and he hops down from the turnbuckle. He slowly removes the mask revealing his deformed left side of his face, and on the right side is all painted like an actual scarecrow.

♫ Beat the Devil's Tattoo by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club ♫

Darren Quimbey:
Making his way to ring from Hammond, Louisiana….CARNY ..SINCLAIR!!

Carny looks out to an unsure crowd before he smiles and focuses on the ring. 

Carny Sinclair leans back against the turnbuckles Scrow and Carny say a few words to each other before their attention drawn by the music.

♫ “Go Big or Go Home” by Chuxx Morris ♫

Darren Quimbey:
Introducing from Los Angeles California … weighing in at three-hundred and eighty pounds … he is “The Biggest Boy” and “Dexy Baby” … DEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXX JOOOOYYYYYYY!!!!

The massive tank-like Dex Joy walks down the ramp and looks ready for a fight. He looks very excited for the opportunity to be competing in front of the DEFIANCE Faithful. As he comes to the front of the ring he notices Scrow blocking his path. Dex mouths off a few choice words to Scrow pointing at him. He slaps a few Faithful’s hands and walks to the other side of the ring but now is blocked by Carny.

Much of the same he has more choice words for Carny. Dex continues to walk around the ring jiving to his theme music and slapping more hands. Dex continues to walk around the ring Carny continues to shout at him to get in the ring. Dex just ignores Sinclair slapping more fans' hands as he reaches the steel steps the two stand in the middle of the ring like a couple of hyenas just waiting to attack their prey. Dex slams his hands on the steps before walking up them. Still jiving to the beat, clapping his hands above his head in sync with The Faithful.

He struts the apron, clearly, Scrow and Carny have had enough and charge. They start to unload each with their strikes on Joy on the apron blow after blow the big man absorbs until he battles back stunning the two before pulling the top rope back and slingshotting himself over the top rope with a double clothesline sending Scrow and Sinclair crashing to the mat.

DDK:
It looks like we’re about to begin! I think Dex Joy just played them both into that attack! The official is calling for the bell!

DING DING!!!

Angus:
Here we go! If Biggest Boy could stop just talking and destroy people he’d be like my top five easy!

Dex hops to his feet entertaining The Faithful as Scrow and Carny get to their feet Dex turns around and clotheslines both men up and over the top rope to the floor! As they crash to the floor outside the ring. Dex claps above his head just waiting for the two men to stand up … 

DDK:
Uh-oh, here he goes! He’s looking for that WHOA-Pe dive!

Angus:
Can he just jump on them already! Stop playing to the people!

Dex gets the crowd to start chanting “whooooooooaaaaa!” as he runs … 

WHOA-PE!!!!!!

DDK:
What a big start to this match by Dex Joy! The big man knew that he was going to be the target of both guys so he got this match off to a hot start! And that’s amazing agility for a man that size!

Angus:
Have you not been listening to me? I know!

After the car crash at ringside is present it is Dexy Baby that is up first and he gets on his feet to slap high-fives with a few people in the front row. Dex picks a man to choose and chooses Carny Sinclair to get thrown back into the ring. Scrow starts to get up, but before he can do anything, Dex sees him and then grabs him from the waist before throwing him on the floor with a huge release German suplex to make sure that he stays down!!!

DDK:
That's a great strategy! Take one man out and go for another! These triple threat matches are hectic by nature!

Scrow is hurt on the floor and that gives Dex the opening that he needs to focus on Carny Sinclair - the man that organized the attack on him back on DEF TV 131 and the attack on Nathaniel Eye on 132. Carny starts to get up but he’s quickly taken down by a big clothesline from the Biggest Boy. Sinclair rolls backward but Dex is not done punishing him. He picks up Carny and pushes him into the corner before he unleashes a painful series of open chops to his chest. 

Angus:
Man, maybe people should mess with his friends more often. Angry Dex is pretty fun … 

DDK:
That’s a horrible thing to say, Angus. 

Carny’s chest is left red when Dex grabs him out of the corner and then takes him up before dropping him with a big Samoan drop mid-ring. Carny is left with a bad case of sore ribs when Dex comes off the ropes and drops all his weight into his chest with a jumping elbow drop. Dex then tries to pin one of his friend’s two attackers. 

One …

Two …

Carny kicks out! 

DDK:
I don’t know how Carny Sinclair kicked out of that series of moves but Dex isn’t done with him! 

Dex tries to pick up Carny and tells the crowd this one is over. He starts to spin him around to set up his new finisher the Dex Drive but before he can swing him around to the other side, Scrow grabs Carny by the leg and pulls him free. Dex loses Carny and he comes rushing at Scrow but he eats a jumping kick to the face from the loyal Scrow on the ring apron. Carny then has a chance to steal a win as he sneaks up behind Dex, trips him up and then goes for a stacked pin. 

One … 

Two …

Dex kicks out!!

DDK:
Wow, that was some great improvised teamwork from Carny and Scrow! Almost gave him the win!

Angus:
Horseshoes and hand grenades Keebler!

Dex tries to get back to his feet but Carny is still a hair quicker and is up first to plant a stiff front dropkick to the knee of Dex. That blow brings The Biggest Boy down and Carny follows it up with a second front dropkick to his temple and he finally is able to bring Dexy Baby on his back. Scrow is finally able to join in the ring and with Carny directing the traffic, he is happy to oblige by kicking at the chest of Dex with his signature kicks. 

DDK:
Dex is a big man but those kicks from Scrow have been able to stop him more than once. 

Angus:
It’s too bad Scrow’s such a weirdo. Him kicking people to death would be a lot more fun to watch. 

DDK:
Are you just going to sit here and tell people what you do and don’t like?

Angus:
Yeah, I am … that’s called adding “color” to commentary, Keebler!

More kicks send Dex backward until he is in the corner and that’s when Carny Sinclair stomps on his foot and then catches Dex with a head butt to his chest. The two men now each take an arm of Dex and with all the strength they can get together they send Dex for the ride into another corner. Scrow runs first and then he catches Dex with a flying kick to the chest. With the wind knocked out of Dex, Carny has the all-clear to run at him as well. But things don’t go so good for Carny …

DDK:
Wow! Dex just launched Carny … but he’s on the apron. 

Dex sees him on the ring apron, but Carny grabs him by his arm and then tries to keep him trapped to give Scrow a free shot. When Scrow tries to take it, Dex stops him with an elbow to the face. Carny in a moment of panic tries to lock something in the ropes on Dex, but he hits a head butt as payback from earlier and then knocks Carny outside. 

Now back to Scrow who doubles over Dex with a big kick into his chest. He lays into Dex with a series of kicks aimed at his knees now to get the Los Angeles powerhouse off of his game. He fires a pair of palm strikes that have the crowd gasping as Dex looks genuinely rocked on his feet. Scrow sees a chance to land a big move so he goes to the ring apron. He tries a springboard into the ring but Dex moves out of the way. Scrow does land on his feet but when he spins around he gets taken right back off his feet by Dex with a big shotgun dropkick!

DDK:
What an exchange by Scrow and Joy! The crowd loves Dex!

The “DEXY BABY!” chants start to ring out among the DEFIANCE Wrestling faithful when he stands up. Big Dex Energy picks up Scrow off the canvas and then puts him down with a slam. What comes next is a massive running senton splash that nearly breaks Scrow in two! He rolls over onto his back and kicks his legs in pain but Dex rolls over and then pushes him back over!

DDK:
I think this could do it! I think Dex has this!

One … 

Two …

Angus:
No he doesn’t! There’s Carny!

Carny breaks it up with his signature move the Carny Stomp and lands on the chest of Dex as he was laying across Scrow’s body! Dex rolls over in pain also and that gives Carny Sinclair a chance to check on his buddy Scrow … but then he quickly walks over him. 

DDK:
Wow, that’s a way to pay back loyalty. Scrow saved him from taking a loss on DEFtv 132 in that tag team match and he goes right after Dex Joy instead of checking on him. 

Angus:
It’s a triple threat match, Keebler! Everybody versus everybody! No time for friends right now!

DDK:
Yes, when it suits Carny Sinclair. 

Carny is now working over Dex who is using the ropes to aid him back to his feet but the wiry Sinclair stops him with a kick to the back. He has Dex leaned in between the middle and top rope when he goes to work by wrapping his legs around his torso and starts fish-hooking the face! 

DDK:
I haven’t ever seen anybody fish hooked in the ropes! And the official is telling him to back off!

Angus:
One thing we have seen is Carny is quick and he can use that lanky body of his to pull and contort people in weird ways. Consider me a fan!

Dex cries out in pain as Carny Sinclair continues to fish-hook him. He finally pulls away from him as the count reaches four and goes right for his next attack by running into the ropes with another front dropkick this time aimed at the spine of Dex as he is in the ropes!

Dexy Baby slumps over in pain and then another running blow finally knocks Dex over before Carny hits the corner. He measures his man up and then jumps off the middle rope with another Carny Stomp that is aimed at the back of Dex! Once the stomp catches Dex, he is on his stomach. Carny uses some effort to get Dex’s body over but once he does he goes for the win.

One … 

Two …

No!!!

Angus:
You can say what you want about Dex, but he’s a tough man. 

DDK:
Did you compliment his heart and resolve, Angus?

Angus:
Nope, he’s a fat guy. You usually need to do more than that to beat a fat guy. 

DDK:
Well, that was rude. 

Carny is slightly surprised that Dex Joy has just kicked out, but a little more so surprised when he sees Scrow back in the ring with ribs that must not feel good. Carny Sinclair waves at Scrow to come over and help him deal with the big LA powerhouse and so Scrow does just that. Dex is trying to stand up when Scrow runs out of the corner and catches him with a knee to the side of Joy’s head. 

The fans are booing the deadly duo as they stand over Dex Joy and seem to enjoy having control for the moment. Carny offers up Dex on a silver platter to Scrow who kicks him with vicious shots to the ribs. Dex is trying to get his hands up to block any of the kicks, but the last few are faster than The Biggest Boy can block so he’s left in a bad spot with the two vicious men. 

DDK:
And now they’re working together on Dex. He’s been giving them both more trouble, but Dex is one of DEFIANCE Wrestling’s biggest competitors. He’s hard to keep down. Shooter tried and couldn’t at DEFIANCE Road but they have a two on one benefit that he didn’t in that ring. 

Angus:
True points! 

Carny continues kicking away at Dex but when he tries to get up, Scrow comes off the middle rope and flies right into a diving Meteora on Dex that takes down the big tank-link DEFIANCE star. Just as soon as Scrow rolls right off of him after hitting the move, Carny is right there to almost take the win away from the man that is calling him a partner in crime. 

One …

Two … 

No!!!

DDK:
Dex throws Carny off of him, but now Scrow tries to take the win with a roll-up of his own on The Biggest Boy!

One …

Two … 

No!!!

Carny looks shocked that Scrow tries to take the win, but when he looks back, he gives Scrow a look that suggests that since the match is still going on that all is well in Whoville. Carny gets in Scrow's face and the two exchange a few words as Dex tries to pull himself up with help from the ropes.

DDK:
Carny clearly is not happy with Scrow these two seem to no longer be on the same page.

Angus:
Look at Scrow, is he trying to apologize... FOR WHAT? It's a triple threat?

Dex gets to his feet and the two notice him back to a vertical base. Scrow looks away from Carny who seems to not care if Dex is back up. Scrow runs at Dex and strikes him into the side of the head with a knee. Dex tumbles through the ropes, Scrow holds his ribs for a moment as he turns around Carny is running right at him he quickly drops the mat as Carny dives through the second rope and collides with Dex outside. Scrow quickly gets up a bit stunned he looks outside as Carny slowly gets to his feet. Scrow exits the ring and gets in Carny’s face.

DDK:
I think Scrow thinks Carny was trying to hit him? This partnership might be on the verge of destruction.

Angus:
Carny just shoved Scrow, and this nitwit is not mad and is STILL trying to reason with Carny.

Carny backs off holding his hands up as he turns around going back to Dex he suddenly turns around and decks Scrow in the jaw. The Faithful erupt in cheers as it does appear this has finally broken down. Scrow looks at Carny holding his jaw. Carny is assaulting Scrow with a verbal berating. The shoving starts and Scrow finally has had enough and lands a right across a stunned Carny’s jaw. The two start shouting at each other with their foreheads touching each other.

DDK:
It's breaking down here Angus! These two are finally going at it with a flurry of blows to one another.

Angus:
They need to get back on the same page, don't let Fat Tuesday up!

Carny kicks the gut of Scrow buckling him over, he grabs his arm and irish whips him. Unfortunately for Dex who has made it to his feet Scrow leaps over him allowing him to stop. Dex stands up and Scrow quickly retaliates with a crescent kick on cue with Carny doing the same to the back of Dex’s skull. Joy falls quickly, Scrow steps over Dex and unleashes a flurry of kicks and punches as Carny tries to block the blows. Scrow swings his foot around in an attempt for a roundhouse kick, Carny ducks and quickly hits a standing dropkick sending Scrow into the steel steps!

DDK:
Carny is still jawing with Scrow, the ego of this guy.

Angus:
Carny behind you!

Carny continues to berate Scrow for trying to take the win from him. Dex breathing heavy stands behind Carny. Sinclair notices the Faithful on their feet and slowly turns around to stare at the chest of Dex he looks up and is quickly met with a haymaker across the top of the head dropping Sinclair to floor. Dex quickly picks up Sinclair and throws him in the ring. Scrow has crawled to the barricade and is trying to pull himself up. Carny has rolled into the center of the ring Dex is trying to make a decision here. He finally makes it and runs at Scrow and the expression on the deranged man is of sheer horror as the three hundred and sixty-eight-pound mountain of beef drives him through the barricade in a crashing heap... Carny has managed to get to his feet trying to get his breath back in the corner of the ring. Dex slowly pulls himself off the Scrow pancake.

DDK:
Scrow is out, but it also took a lot out of Dex and Carny has been getting a much-needed rest in the ring.

Angus:
There he goes again celebrating with The Faithful when his opponent is getting his second wind in the ring what an idiot!

Dex in a huff marches to the ring Sinclair waits for him and the battle begins once more in the center of the ring. Carny stays on him with blows to the back to keep Dex from being able to make a move, but the adrenaline rush helps The Biggest Boy surge to life and shove Carny on his back. The DEFIANCE Wrestling Faithful are roaring and cheering for the monster with Carny rolling back to his feet. He rushes into a big clothesline from Dex that turns him inside out!

DDK:
What a big shot by Dex Joy! The momentum is going back his way and with no Scrow in the ring, this might be his best chance to win. 

Angus:
He just needs to sit on him until he blacks out and that’ll...

DDK:
That is enough out of you! 

Dex gets Carny onto his feet and then sends him packing so he can land a big back elbow smash in the corner. Carny gets picked up and then sent halfway to the ceiling lights with a big release flapjack in the middle of the ring. He is left reeling when Dex picks him up again and then fires him high in the air a second time … 

DDK:
The Dex Bomb!!! I think he has it won!

One … 

Two … 

No!!!

Carny’s arm goes up before the three and Dex cannot believe he doesn’t have the win, but he does have Carny where he wants him. 

DDK:
Scrow is still out there … and I think Dex has this! He just needs one or two more big moves to do it!

Angus:
Come on, Carny fight back! 

Dex calls for the end of the match when he goes over to pick up Carny but he gets surprised with an eye rake from the cunning competitor. Carny is back up and lands a superkick to the jaw of Dex but he doesn’t go down … then he fires a second one to the knee that brings Dex down to his good knee … then fires the third one to his jaw and then goes for a pin himself. 

One … 

Two … 

No!!!

Angus:
Crap! What’s it going to take to keep Dex down for good?

DDK:
Another tank, probably! Dex kicks out of that barrage of kicks but Carny isn’t about to give up. 

Carny doesn’t stick around and try to pin Dex again but he instead tries to head to the top rope where he can land his finishing maneuver called the Suicide Head Butt. Carny is up on the top and then comes off but Dex catches him in mid air and throws him into the ropes … 

DDK:
DEXY’S MIDNIGHT RUNNER!!! CARNY IS IN THE CORNER NOW!

Angus:
Holy crap he got some air with that one!!!

Dex lands the pounce and the fans are on their feet when he holds out his hands and prepares to end the match with a move that usually comes next after Dexy’s Midnight Runner. He has Carny Sinclair in his sights when he runs towards the corner … 

Angus:
No water in the pool! 

DDK:
The ring almost shook! Dex was going for his Jump For Joy finish, but Scrow just came back and saved him! 

The fans are now jeering Scrow for pulling Carny out of harm’s way and now sliding into the ring. Dex is reeling from missing his corner cannonball and when he tries to get up, Scrow rocks him with a bicycle knee strike to the jaw! That blow sends Dex backward and then a second bicycle knee strike finally brings him down to his back. 

DDK:
Scrow finally takes Dex down! And now he tries to win with Carny still down. 

One …

Two …

NO!!!

DDK:
Dex is still fighting! I thought Scrow had him beat right there!

Scrow doesn’t allow the chance to pass him by but he doesn’t have a chance to do much more because Carny Sinclair comes back into the ring from off the top rope and lands another Carny Stomp -- this time from the top rope -- and then catches Joy in the chest!

Angus:
They’re picking off The Biggest Dork! That’s awesome!

DDK:
Look … he’s still trying to fight!

Dex is holding his ribs but he still tries to stand … but that gets put to a quick end when Scrow slams the skull of Dex face-first into his knee. Dex bounces up to vertical base Scrow quickly transition to an extra stiff lariat finally putting him on his back. 

DDK:
Dex is finally down after the FearFall … and … wait, what’s going on?

Scrow moves back and sits in the corner practically offering Carny Sinclair the pinfall which pleases the silent manipulator. Dex doesn’t move when Carny kneels down and hooks one of Dex’s legs. 

One … 

Two … 

Three!!!

Quimbey: Here is your winner of this triple threat match … CCCCCCCAAAARRRRNNNYYYYY SSSSIIINNNNCCCCLLLLLAAAAIIIRRRR!!!!

Dex still is not moving and Carny Sinclair looks pleased by this turn of events as does Scrow. He walks over to raise the hand of Carny and the duo are booed. 

DDK:
Carny didn’t earn that victory, Scrow did!

Angus:
Did you not see Dex Joy still trying to stand after everything they threw at that human Good Year blimp?! 

DDK:
I did … and this Scrow is being played for a fool I feel like. There were times during that match where Carny was more focused on winning than he was for a man he supposedly is friends with. 

Angus:
Read my lips, Keebler … Triple! Threat! Match! You’re the straw that’s stirring up a drink named trouble! Besides Dex wanted this match with both of them and he lost. It’s that simple. 

Carny Sinclair leaves the ring quickly to celebrate his … ahem … win tonight at Defcon and Scrow chooses to follow him out of the arena. Dex Joy hasn’t moved yet as the two disappear. 

DDK:
We’ve seen Dex Joy entertain our fans since he arrived on the scene last fall but something tells me this isn’t the end of the story. 

Dex finally starts to come to as the fans cheer him on for a great performance. He nods to acknowledge the fans and then rolls under the ropes to get outside of the ring. A trainer tries to help him to the back, but The Biggest Boy politely declines and wants to walk out under his own power. It is a slow, disappointing walk but he won’t forget this night. 

As we shift backstage we see Lance Warner and Scott Stevens pacing around in his ring gear?

Lance Warner:
Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time, the ACE of DEFIANCE champion, Scott Stevens.

The Faithful boo loudly at the introduction of the former FIST and Stevens approaches Warner with seriousness plastered on his face.

Lance Warner:
Scott, you asked for this time and we know you don’t have a match here at DEFCON, but you look ready to go dressed in your ring gear…....

Stevens cuts off Lance.

Scott Stevens:
That is where you are wrong Lance.

Stevens says as he grabs the microphone and pulls it closer to his face.

Scott Stevens:
Tonight is where it happens. Tonight is where everything changes. TONIGHT!

Stevens shouts before calming himself.

Scott Stevens:
Tonight Lance, is where I make the FIST great again.

Stevens says and Lance is baffled.

Lance Warner:
What do you mean exatcly?

Lance asks cautiously.

Scott Stevens:
Tonight I cash in my ACE of DEFIANCE championship and TRUMP my way into becoming the FIST again!

Stevens says with a smile on his face.

Lance Warner:
You can’t do this? The match needs build up and the champion needs forewarning…..

Stevens shoots Lance a look.

Scott Stevens:
Build up? Forewarning? What the hell do you think I was doing this whole time?!?!?!?!?

Stevens asks as he stares daggers into Lance.

Scott Stevens:
It’s not my fault Oscar Burns and Mikey Unlikely chose to ignore me this entire time because the time of paper champions is over and I’m reclaiming what is mine and making it great again!

Stevens says as he exits the scene.

The Faithful buzz with anticipation as the feeling inside the arena is truly palpable. However, tensions, emotions and nerves reside on the other side of the stage curtain as Hurtlocker Holt and Emilio Byrd attempt to stay loose for the biggest match of their careers. They both don some special, never-before-seen DEFCON gear, sparkling white trunks plastered with the number four. They glance around at the DEFIANCE Stage Coordinators until they finally get the nod to head to the ring.

♫ “Regulate (Photek Remix)” by Warren G feat. Nate Dogg ♫

DDK:
The Faithful are cheering frantically as we prepare for this very interesting tag team match, Angus!

Thugs 4 Hire walk to the ring to a hero's welcome. They can’t help but bask in all the bright lights flashing.

Angus:
Very interesting indeed, Keebs! Do you know why? Because it’s the professional in-ring debut of The Comments Section! We finally get to see them in action after weeks of harassing Thugs 4 Hire, which I wish they could only do more of!

Thugs 4 Hire enter the ring and get The Faithful even more fired up.

Darren Quimbey:
Faithful, this tag team match is set for one fall. Introducing first, the team of Emilio Byrd and Hurtlocker Holt... THUGGGGGGGGS 4 HIREEEEEE!

Hurtlocker and Emilio high five each other in the middle of the ring before turning their attention from whence they came.

♫ “Attention Attention” by Shinedown ♫

The near frenzy The Faithful find themselves in quells rather fast as The Comments Section struts out on stage. Malak Garland, dressed in tribal designed wrestling tights, runs his mouth towards the crowd about who knows what. Cyrus Bates, sporting shiny black leather tights, stalks stoically and silently behind his floppy-haired counterpart. Lastly, Teresa Ames, red gown and all, brings up the rear, just gazing at the people promiscuously with that sort of ‘you can’t touch me’ look on her face.

Darren Quimbey:
Their opponents, making their in-ring DEFIANCE debut, being accompanied by Teresa Ames, they are the team of Malak Garland and Cyrus Bates... THE COMMENTS SECTION!

Referee Benny Doyle ensures he’s in a good position as The Comments Section arrives at the ring. Malak finally shuts his mouth as he, Teresa and Cyrus stare at Thugs 4 Hire. Malak climbs the apron and smiles vindictively. Cyrus slides into the ring under the bottom rope and Teresa finds a good vantage point to cheer from.

DDK:
I’ll tell you this, Angus, I assure you The Comments Section has been in the minds of Thugs 4 Hire and I’m not sure what type of residual effect that might have on this contest.

Angus:
Psychological warfare is just as important as any physical prowess, especially in today’s wrestling world, Keebs. It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if Thugs 4 Hire are off their game tonight.

Emilio needs to be held back by Hurtlocker as one can only imagine all those derogatory messages rifling through his head at once. Doyle exchanges some words with Thugs 4 Hire and Emilio finally agrees to relocate to his corner outside the ring.

DDK:
And it looks like we’re going to start things off here with Cyrus Bates and Hurtlocker Holt, the two ‘bigger’ men of these teams!

DING! DING!

TAG!

Without hesitation, Bates turns and tags Malak into the match immediately.

DDK:
Well, what was the point of that?

Angus:
Let the mind games continue!

Malak pops into the ring with way more spunk than his deadpan partner. Hurtlocker shifts his mindset to wrestling a smaller but faster opponent. Holt converges and attempts to grapple him but Garland coyly slips underneath. Instead, Holt rams into the corner where Cyrus is and receives a rather blunt punch in the mouth for his troubles. Benny Doyle rushes over and warns Bates not to pull that kind of nonsense again. While Doyle’s back is turned, Garland dropkicks Emilio off the apron and follows it up with a running double knee strike to Holt’s back.

DDK:
And those here in attendance certainly don’t appreciate these underhanded tactics.

Malak Garland goes on a full out assault from dropping elbows on Holt’s back to wrapping his neck in a sleeperhold. Somehow, the massive mound of a man gets to his feet with Malak holding on for dear life.

THUD!

DDK:
Holt breaks free of the sleeper by back dropping Malak to the mat!

Malak gasps for air as the much bigger man nearly crushes him. The Faithful try to encourage Holt to get to his corner but Emilio still isn’t up yet. Hurtlocker rises, bounces off the ropes and delivers a thunderous elbow drop of his own to Garland!

Angus:
They started out a bit shaky but it certainly doesn’t look like they’re in Hurtlocker’s head at least... but that’s probably ‘cuz he lacks brains!

Holt motions to his corner but Garland latches to his ankle. Emilio climbs his way back up to the apron ever so slowly. Holt stomps Malak’s face with his free foot and finally makes it over for a tag.

TAG!

Emilio BURSTS into the ring, literally runs on Malak’s back en route to clobbering Cyrus in the face. Bates doesn’t fall from the apron though, he just gets knocked back a bit. Byrd jumps on Garland, picks him up and suplexes him, then measures and delivers a harsh slingblade!

DDK:
And The Faithful can feel Emilio Byrd’s energy!

Unsatisfied, Byrd drags Malak into the corner and pummels away. The assault doesn’t stop until Teresa Ames pulls her Keyboard Warrior King out of the ring, much to the chagrin of the crowd.

DDK:
What cowardice tactics by The Comments Section.

Angus:
You say cowardice, I say smart. Get him out of danger!

Benny Doyle attaches himself to the ropes, spews another warning, this time towards Ames and begins to count Garland out. The silver-haired mouthpiece of The Comments Section wearily gets himself up at around the count of seven. He pleads with Doyle to ensure his safe passage back into the ring.

Malak Garland: [Shouting]
Keep him away from me! I need to enter clean! Do your job, moderator!

DDK:
Did he just call referee Benny Doyle a moderator?

Angus:
This is their forum for submitting comments and he enforces the rules! Of course he’s the moderator!

Doyle gets so wrapped up in talking to Garland that he lets his count go. He eventually turns and gently pats Emilio back a bit. That was the opening Garland needs as he evilly slides into the ring and nabs a tag from his partner before receiving any more punishment.

TAG!

DDK:
That slimeball! He had no interest in getting back into the ring to fight. He just wanted space to ensure he could tag Cyrus in.

The former powerlifter from Texas enters the ring and absorbs some shots from Emilio before being taken off his feet by a legitimate running crossbody. Byrd hovers over Bates for the cover.

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

DDK:
Bates kicks out! This match continues!

Byrd rolls off his opponent. He relocates to an empty corner and begins winding up his arm.

DDK:
Uh oh! Cyrus Bates better look out!

The Faithful’s voices rise with excitement as Byrd continues to gain momentum with his arm before delivering...

THE WIND UP!

DDK:
And Emilio Byrd connects with a momentus right hand that downs Cyrus Bates once more! I don’t know if I’ve ever seen Byrd like this! He’s so full of fire!

Byrd hooks the leg for another cover.

ONE!

TWO!

THUD!

Malak Garland comes crashing down from the top rope, breaking up the pin attempt in the process. Emilio immediately grabs his ribcage as Doyle scoots Garland back to his corner.

DDK:
Both men are down here and this match truly feels like it’s up for grabs!

Angus:
Get up, Cyrus! Take control of this thing right now!

Malak motions to The Faithful from the apron to remain silent but they ignore his request. It’s a race to each team's corner as both Bates and Byrd crawl ever so slowly. Garland turns his attention to getting a tag as he extends his arm as far as it will humanly go. Hurtlocker does the same thing on the other side.

TAG!

DDK:
Byrd gets the tag first!

Like a freight train, Hurtlocker Holt enters the fray. He rushes towards Cyrus Bates.

Teresa Ames: [Shouting]
DUCK!

Bates hears the only female member of The Comments Section just in time and ducks the oncoming barrage. Holt stops, turns and is met with an intense belly-to-belly suplex. Bates slows things down once more by locking in a camel clutch. Teresa quickly pulls out her phone at the request of Garland.

DDK:
Just what the heck is going on here?

Malak Garland:
Teresa! Take a pic for our Insta page but don’t post it yet! We’ll choose a good filter for it later. In the meantime, look up the video of that move you wanted to see!

Teresa’s thumbs move furiously fast as Cyrus continues to rev back on Holt’s posterior. Emilio looks over from his corner in astonishment. He can’t believe what he sees. Teresa holds her phone towards the ring so that Cyrus Bates can view it.

DDK:
Youv’e got to be kidding me.

Angus:
Ha ha! Yes! This is great! Teresa is showing Cyrus a video of a wrestling move she wants him to do!

DDK:
Are they seriously learning on the fly here?

Angus:
It’s their first match... ever! Cut them some slack, Keebs!

Bates relinquishes the hold by shoving Holt’s face into the mat. He then picks him up and delivers a running powerslam followed by a vicious straitjacket German suplex which deflates The Faithful to nothing more than a lull. Bates raises his arms in supremacy.

Angus:
Holt’s head just bounced off the canvas there! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a variation of a German Suplex like that before!

DDK:
What a devastating move by Cyrus Bates!

Angus:
That was totally worth looking it up! Bookmark that video for sure!

Benny Doyle immediately checks on Hurtlocker Holt who remains near motionless by his partner. Emilio desperately tries to communicate with his teammate as Bates tags Garland in.

TAG!

Both members of The Comments Section gather in the ring. They gaze over at the scene of destruction they’ve just caused. Malak pats Cyrus on his rather large pectoral muscle in congratulations and whispers instructions to him. Byrd leans over and tags himself in.

TAG!

Benny Doyle holds a thumbs up as Hurtlocker somehow tries to rise to his feet. He’s shaky and clearly hurt but he manages to get up with the help of his partner. The four men stare at each other as The Faithful want a bloodbath. The referee is smart enough to not get caught in the middle as he backs into a corner. The four men unload on each other all at once.

DDK:
All hell has broken loose in this match, Angus!

Angus:
Let ‘em brawl! I don’t care!

The flying fists get broken up by a superkick from Garland and a big boot from Bates. Hurtlocker’s body limply falls between the top two ropes, just begging to be thrown out of the ring. Cyrus Bates completes the deed and spears Holt, along with himself, to the outside. The Faithful are left in awe even though one of the wrestlers they back takes the brunt of it.

DDK:
That’s TWO absolutely devastating moves in a row by Cyrus Bates! But this time it looks like he took himself out of the equation too as both legal men, Malak Garland and Emilio Byrd are left in the ring!

Garland and Byrd perch each other up. They exchange a few woozy fists before Garland snaps out of his funk, kicks his opponent in the midsection and delivers a DEFCON sized Pumphandle DDT in the middle of the ring!

#ohmygoshyoulostsosadlol

Angus:
That’s it! It’s gotta be over!

Garland takes one last dazed moment to soak in the DEFCON scene before draping his body over Emilio’s for the pinfall.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

DING! DING! DING!

DDK:
Indeed it is! It’s over! It’s over!

The Faithful’s voice retreats into a murmur as “Attention Attention” by Shinedown rings throughout the arena.

Darren Quimbey:
DEFIANCE Faithful, here are your winners, Malak Garland and Cyrus Bates, THE COMMENTS SECTION!

DDK:
How much will they have to say now in their little comments section seeing that they’ve won their first match? We’re never going to hear the end of this!

Angus:
And rightfully so! They just won their first professional wrestling match ever... at DEFCON no less! No one will start an online war this team anytime soon!

Malak Garland takes all the glory by having Benny Doyle raise his hand in the air. Teresa Ames slides into the ring to celebrate momentarily before ushering him to ringside. There, they collect Cyrus Bates and the trio hastily navigates their way back up the ramp. Dazed and dreary, Malak Garland and Cyrus Bates raise their arms in victory as the scene fades.

DDK:
Next up, we have an interesting match up here at DEFCon. It’s the battle of the Jacks, as newcomer Jack Valentine takes on the former UTAH invader turned friendly Lunatic, Jack Harmen.

Angus:
Speak for yourself. I’m pretty sure Harmen is the one who keeps getting the valet’s to give him the keys and then farts in my car every night.

DDK:
You keyed his rental cars. Constantly.

Angus:
He deserved it!

DDK:
Sure, but he’s turned a new leaf, and against the newcomer yet wily veteran in Jack Valentine, he’s garnered a foe due to his reputation. Valentine came to DEFIANCE to make a mark, and what better way to do that than face off against another veteran over over 25 years across an innumerable amount of federations.

Angus:
Same could be said for Valentine. Listen. I recruited him. Dude’s money. He’s been in this business his entire life, lives, breathes and sweats it. If Harmen doesn’t respect him, this match won’t last long.

DDK:
The pedigree between these two men, it’s like two worlds colliding. Let’s take it to the ring.

♫“Crazy Train” by Ozzy Osbourne.♫

A light fog rises from the arena. Jack Harmen emerges, wide eyed and crazy, raising up a large steel chair. We can assume it’s just for sitting. Harmen storms down to the ring, sans pageantry. He slides in, and then climbs the nearest buckles, raising the chair high. Once done, he sets the chair in the corner and takes a seat. 

DDK:
Jack Harmen, perhaps playing mind games?

Angus:
Maybe he’s just winded. That’s a long ramp. Longer than usual.

DDK:
It is DEFCon. We added two feet for the oomph.

♫“Legend” by The Score.♫

Jack Valentine emerges from the backstage area, wearing his “Pooch is on the Loose” t-shirt. He looks across the arena with disgust and disdain. With his head held high, he slowly makes his way to the ring.

DDK:
It feels like Jack Valentine is, well, not used to the Faithful.

Angus:
It takes a lot for an outsider to feel the warm welcome, Keebs. Plus, we don’t all shower.

DDK:
I keep saying, on the hotline, Thank you for calling, remember to bathe yourselves regularly, and now, on to the rumors!

Angus:
We… We have a hotline?

Valentine takes one step up the ramp steps and then looks around the ring. He starts motioning to a nearby crew member, who climbs up the steps and starts wiping down the ring ropes with a sanitary towel.

DDK:
I… What?

Angus:
Guess he’s hoping he doesn’t get Corona Virus Keebs.

Valentine, satisfied, climbs into the ring. He’s quickly checked over, nodding and turning his head toward the jeering Faithful. He starts yelling at them, shouting.

DING, DING

Valentine removes his shirt and poses for the Faithful, who continue jeering. Harmen meanwhile…

DDK:
YAKUZA KICK! TO THE BACK OF JACK VALENTINE’S HEAD!

Angus:
This… this is... Magnificient!

DDK:
Valentine was posing, feeding his ego, and Jack Harmen just kicked his head clean off!

Harmen dives on top, hooking the legs and the tights for good measure. 

One.

Two.

THREE!

Harmen rolls off of the count and quickly out of the ring. He throws his hands in the air, as Valentine recovers, clutching the back of his head. He hears “Crazy Train” playing, and his eyes go wide.

Darren Quimbey:
Your winner.

Valentine starts shouting.

Jack Valentine:
I WASN’T READY!

Darren Quimbey: JACK… HARMEN!

Valentine kicks the bottom rope and starts shouting at anyone who will listen

Harmen meanwhile, backs up the ramp, hands outstretched, slapping the hands of the Faithful.

DDK:
A completely unexpected ending there Angus! 

Angus:
You gotta keep your eye on the prize here Keebs. You aren’t ready, you focus too much on your ego and BAMO!

DDK:
I’m just stunned... We have tag team action up next, but first, a word from our sponsors.

 

The scene goes to ringside after the DEFCON sponsorship ad and Darren Quimbey.

Darren Quimbey:
This next match is the RED RING OF DEATH MATCH! It is no holds barred under tornado tag team rules. The first team to gain a pinfall or submission will win! The match cannot end by time limit, referee’s decision or any other means!

The Faithful start a faint chant for Gulf Coast that grows louder and louder. The camera pans out from the ring, showing the floor on the outside has been scattered with chairs, kendo sticks and other items.

Angus:
I bet you there’s stuff under the ring, too!

DDK:
There’s always something under there.

Angus:
And I’m even more sure The Fuse’s will bring their own power-ups! Joy!

Darren Quimbey:
Introducing first… Aaron King and Theodore Cain… the team of GULF COAST CONNECTION!

♫ “Surf City” by Jan & Dean ♫ 

“TWO GIRLS FOR EVERY BOY”

The crowd gets on their feet, as King and Cain emerge from the back, their new DEFIANCE theme song blaring over the PA while some of the fans dance along. Normally laid back and cool, Gulf Coast comes displays a serious demeanor.

DDK:
By far, the biggest match in their careers. To think just five months ago no one knew who these guys were! They had a massive upset victory against The Fuse Bros. months ago and haven’t looked back! After an impressive showing, they are here to stay on the DEFIANCE roster for good!

Angus:
And what’s so impressive about them, huh? They’ve lost plenty and they’ve been nothing but SCHOOLED from The Bros. Sure, they beat them in a fluke match that nobody remembers. Excuse me, they weren’t schooled… they were PWN’D!

King and Cain break their intensity for just a moment as they greet fans in the front row of the rampway before walking up the steel stairs and getting into the ring. King bounces off the ropes and Cain ensures his wrestling tape is on correctly.

Angus:
Also can I say something about this theme song? [singing] “Two girls for every boy”? What is this, some orgy? This is a WRESTLING show. That’s it, I’m GORRAM triggered. This lyrical nonsense doesn’t fly with me-

DDK:
Will you shut up? I’m sure The Comments Section will be all over it, anyway. Something tells me those guys get offended with everything.

Angus:
Oh, that’s a genius idea!

The intensity on the faces of Gulf Coast are shown on the main camera before their theme song comes to a close and the lights go dark.

The lights hovering over the arena turn RED. Then a deeper red light circles around the ring. Some random video game music plays while all this transpires. Once it finishes, the lights turn off and The Gamers boo loudly, assuming what’s to come next.

The DEF-I-TRON flicks on and a video of Fuse Bros. 360’s heel turn plays. Their demolishment of The WrestleFriends and more recently, Gulf Coast Connection are shown as a highlight reel. This garners more boos from The Gamers. The camera jumps to the ring for a moment, where Aaron King and Theodore Cain stand, unimpressed.

After the video finishes another theme song replaces it and the word “PASSWORD” shows up across the screen.

♫ “Password Theme Song” from Metal Gear NES ♫ 

It takes a while but letter by letter the password reveals itself, as if someone is entering it in manually.

T
H
E

F
U
S
E

B
R
O
S
.

After the period appears, the PASSWORD image on the DEF-I-TRON shakes and says that phrase isn’t accepted.

The words disappear. Different letters are reentered, one by one.

F
U
S
E

B
R
O
S
.

3
6
0

The DEF-I-TRON says this password is accepted while The Gamers take the piss out of the entire segment.

DDK:
Isn’t that the same bloody thing?

Angus:
No.

Finally, the password music ends and pyro goes off. Darren Quimbey is shown in the ring.

Darren Quimbey:
Please welcome to the stage… Mark Hoppus, Travis Barker and Matt Skiba… blink-182!!!

Some fans cheer as blink-182 thanks them and begins to play an alternative punk rendition of another Metal Gear song, along with added and personalized lyrics.

♫ “Jungle Infiltration” from Snake’s Revenge NES ♫ 

Suddenly, Tyler and Conor emerge from underneath the rampway, standing in two clear pipes. They aren’t dressed in their regular ring attire. Instead, Tyler is sporting off-blue camo gear and a blue bandana, similar to the video game character Solid Snake from the Metal Gear Solid series. Conor, on the other hand, is wearing tanned camo gear and a tanned bandana, similar to the character Liquid Snake from Metal Gear Solid. Conor’s hair has grown longer too, to the point it’s as wild as the character from the series and kept in the same hairstyle, as well. The Gamers that catch the references cheer just a little at the sight of the intense entrance and DDK informs the people watching from home who Fuse Bros. 360 are supposed to represent.

Angus:
What’s a Metal Gear?

DDK:
I don’t know either, Angus.

Angus:
Well whatever it is, I’m sure it’s awesome!

Tyler and Conor exit their pipe “pods” to a mixed reaction. Tyler puts his arms in the air as more pyro goes off behind them and blink-182 changes songs to another Metal Gear known theme.

♫ "Alert!" from Metal Gear on the NES ♫

Before heading to the ring, The Bros. wait for one more figure to appear. She walks out from the back, also dressed in a similar style of camo gear, a green top and off-brown pants, with a red bandana and newly dyed red hair (her normal hair color is blonde). She resembles the character Meryl from Metal Gear Solid.

The three of them stand at the top of the ramp. Once more, pyro goes off for The Bros. and they stroll towards the ring.

Angus:
BIG match feel, Keebs! Fuse Bros. 360 are the BEST THING going in the DEFIANCE tag team world for me right now!

DDK:
Well that’s not hard… you hate everyone else.

Angus:
And can you blame me?

Tyler leads the way while Princess Desire remains closely behind and Conor, who is anything but deadpan, soaking in the atmosphere of boos on the biggest stage before their sure-to-be hardcore contest.

DDK:
Folks, as Darren Quimbey told us earlier, this match is No Holds Barred and can only be won by pinfall or submission, nothing else.

Angus:
Survive is the key word here. Gulf Coast is out for blood and we all know Tyler and Conor can make anyone bleed! Survive! Who are The Bros. supposed to resemble again, Keebs?

DDK:
Solid Snake and Liquid Snake, from Metal Gear I was told.

Angus:
Cool. Metal Gear guys… survive! Metal Gear Survive! Sounds awesome doesn’t it!?

DDK:
No, not really.

Angus:
Well at least no one is dressed like Raiden. That guy’s a fucking loser.

DDK:
I thought you didn’t know anything about Metal Gear… 

Angus:
I don’t!

Tyler enters the ring, followed by Conor while The Princess waits on the outside. The Bros. strip themselves of their excess camo gear but keep their trademark bandanas on their foreheads, camouflage tights and wrestling boots, of course. Conor, however, takes one item out of his gear before he hands it all over to the time keeper. It’s a peach-colored sack, filled with an unknown item. He holds it in the air and sneers towards Gulf Coast. Then he walks towards Desire and hands it to her. She carefully places it on the steel stairs.

Conor Fuse:
Your lives end with THAT.

Gulf Coast can’t wait to get their hands on Fuse Bros. 360 but blink-182 finishes the theme song, thanks The Faithful and then we go to Darren Quimbey.

Darren Quimbey:
Introducing, being accompanied by PRINCESS Desire… from what I’m being told is the BIG SHELL… Tyler and Conor Fuse… FUUUUUUUUUUSE BROS. 360!!!!

BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

More pyro goes off. Tyler and Conor waste no time and get right into Gulf Coast’s faces.

“LET THEM HAVE IT!” CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP.
“LET THEM HAVE IT!” CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP.
“LET THEM HAVE IT!” CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP.

DDK:
Gotta think that’s directed at The Bros.! Aaron, Theodore… LET THE FUSE BROS. HAVE IT!

Angus:
Seriously? It’s Fuse Bros. 360! Did that password entry teach you NOTHING???

Fuse Bros. 360 stand directly across from King and Cain, with Princess Desire watching on the outside. King looks at Tyler and then throughout the arena, seeing all the weapons available. He looks back at Player One. He is Ready.

Cain does the same, only eye-to-eye with Conor Fuse. He is Ready.

Aaron King: [to Tyler]
Like, screw you, man.

Theodore Cain: [to Conor]
Yeah, like screw you too, bruah!

The Gamers are growing louder and louder, anticipating Gulf Coast to get their hands on The Bros.

DING DING

DDK:
Here. We. Go!

Angus:
I can’t hear myself think!

Conor jumps up and down, like he’s pretending to skip with an invisible rope. Tyler, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to give a f--- what King is saying to him.

The tension builds and builds, until Tyler finally speaks.

Tyler Fuse:
Hey, where’s your partner?

Insinuating The Crescent City Kid is nowhere to be.

DDK:
And King levels Tyler with a right hand! Theodore Cain brings the fight to Conor with a number of forearms to the side of the face!

Angus:
I never thought I’d see the day where these surfboard freaks are getting a response like this!

DDK:
Cain hurls Conor into the ropes and King does the same to Tyler… they both DUCK clotheslines from The Bros. and The Fuse’s go off the next set of ropes… DOUBLE POWERSLAMS BY GULF COAST!

King and Cain are FIRED UP as they scream and pound their chests while Fuse Bros. 360 roll away. The Gamers give their support and upon seeing Player One and Two recovering on the outside, King pushes Cain and Cain pushes King in a show of solidarity.

DDK:
King bounces off the ropes and LEAPS in the air, as he’s immediately caught by Cain and THROWN outside of the ring, landing on top of both Tyler and Conor with a big splash! What a move!

“LET’S GO GULF COAST, LET’S GO” CLAP, CLAP.
“LET’S GO GULF COAST, LET’S GO” CLAP, CLAP.
“LET’S GO GULF COAST, LET’S GO” CLAP, CLAP.

The Bros. are laid out and King is shouting for the fans to get on their feet. He points inside the ring and now Cain bounces off the ropes… 

DDK:
SUMMERSAULT PLANCHA BY THE SIX-FOOT-FIVE GIANT OF A MAN!!!

“LET’S GO GULF COAST, LET’S GO” CLAP, CLAP.
“LET’S GO GULF COAST, LET’S GO” CLAP, CLAP.
“LET’S GO GULF COAST, LET’S GO” CLAP, CLAP.

King picks up a chair.

SMACK!, right into Tyler’s back.

King tosses the same chair to Cain.

SMACK!, right into Conor’s back.

Gulf Coast throw The Bros. into the ring. They follow but go straight to adjacent turnbuckles, climbing them in a hurry.

DDK:
King is measuring Tyler and looks for a frog splash… it connects! Cain measures Conor and hits an elbow drop! The fans are loving this!

As Gulf Coast contemplate their next move, Princess Desire slides into the ring and chop blocks Theodore Cain from behind before quickly getting out again.

Angus:
Didn’t see that one coming, ha!

King shouts to The Princess on the outside while she walks around as if nothing’s happened. As King approaches the ropes and considers exiting the ring, he’s rolled into a small package by Tyler Fuse!

ONE.

TWO.

KICKOUT!

The crowd lets out a huge sigh of relief!

Angus:
Oh my god, I thought it was over! What highway robbery that would’ve been!

While The Gamers are happy the match isn’t over that quickly, Tyler goes right into the offensive, thumping King down with boot after boot. Player One holds the back on his head, still reeling from the assault at the hands of his opponents. Yet, knowing he can do more than a few things at once, Tyler shouts to his brother to get up. Conor does, slowly, but beats Cain to his feet and kicks him in the back of the knee, the same knee Princess Desire took out. Boos follow and the momentum may have swung in the bad guy’s favor.

Conor stomps away on Cain and Tyler continues on King. Tyler grabs the top rope and puts his left boot right into King’s neck, seething as he does.

DDK:
Again, folks, this is no rules here and a tornado tag team match.

Angus:
Red Ring of Death, babay!

Tyler presses down on King’s neck so hard it knocks him out of the ring, landing at the feet of Princess Desire. She casually strolls around him, hands on her hips, sizing him up. Dressed in her Metal Gear Solid ‘Meryl’ outfit, she proceeds to kick King in the back. Still, Desire shows no emotion.

DDK:
Between her and her husband, Tyler, do they have any expressions at all?

Angus:
Hey now, you saw plenty of expressions from her… granted, before she showed her true colours two weeks ago! And Tyler? He’s all business!

Tyler looks down at the fallen Aaron King and slingshots himself over the top rope and straight to the floor, landing on the back of King’s neck with a well-placed leg drop. He looks up at The Princess and nods to her. She walks around the ring, finds a kendo stick and hands it to her husband.

WHACK.
WHACK.
WHACK.

WHACK. WHACK. WHACK.

The nearby Gamers cringe as the latest kendo stick shot breaks it in half so Tyler begins to shove the broken stick right in King’s face, tearing it apart even more.

Meanwhile, in the ring, Conor hurls Cain into the ropes and then hits a chop block to the right knee. This is followed by a German suplex! Even the crowd is somewhat impressed given Cain is much larger than Conor. Awfully proud of himself he dances around the ring like he’s won the lottery or maybe, in his case, a very tough video game. Conor laughs at the fallen member of Gulf Coast, pulling him to his feet and hitting him with a springboard dropkick to the face! Cain goes right back down while Conor jumps for joy again.

DDK:
I’m beginning to see why you hated Conor so much…

Angus:
Hated? LOVE the guy since Level One!

DDK sighs.

On the outside, Tyler throws the kendo stick away and tosses King into the guardrail! King immediately bounces off it and hits Tyler with an inside-out clothesline! Then he looks at Desire and attempts to lay into her, too…

DDK:
INCOMING! Conor with a big splash from the top rope, to the outside and landing right on top of Aaron King!

Of course, Conor starts jumping up and down again.

Conor Fuse:
NOTHING CAN STOP ME, I OWN ALL THE POWER!

The replay shows Conor getting major height and his tanned-coloured bandana flying in the air along with him as he lands squarely on top of his opponent. Back to the live show, Desire wanders over as Conor smiles towards her, picks King up and throws him into the ring post! Player Two grabs a nearby garbage can and drills it through the top of King’s skull, putting a massive dent in it. Conor throws it to the side.

DDK:
Tyler’s back to his feet. He says something to Conor…

The two of them hook King’s arms and suplex him onto the steel stairs!

Proud of their accomplishments, Conor wiggles around and then finds a fan to pick on, pointing at him and laughing like a pantomime. Tyler quickly smacks Conor out of his stupidity and tells him to get back into the ring and work on Theodore Cain. Conor slides in but RIGHT into a big boot from Cain which gets the crowd going! Cain bounces off the ropes and hits Conor with another big boot! The Gamers come alive as Tyler sees this and slips into the ring. At first, Tyler ducks a big boot and goes off the ropes. He flies towards Cain but he’s caught in midair…

DDK:
Fall away slam by Cain!

Princess Desire rolls in… and chop blocks Cain to one knee for the second time! She immediately gets out again with an expressionless look on her face like nothing happened.

Angus:
Déjà vu!

DDK:
I’m not sure why Desire is acting like she did nothing, this match is anything goes!

Angus:
Really, Keebs? Even I know why. It’s MINDGAMES, man, mindgames! Mindgames with Gulf Coast. Mindgames with The Faithful. Mindgames with YOU.

Cain tries to get up but he’s met with a dropkick to the same knee by Tyler. Player One walks over to his brother and pulls him onto his feet. The Bros. look down at Cain with a scoff. Together, they lift him and connect with a double suplex, placing him in the middle of the canvas. Tyler hits Conor on the shoulder, directing him out of the ring and telling him to get a chair.

He doesn’t have to. Princess Desire has already thrown one in.

The Gamers boo and Tyler breaks his stoic look for a moment, glancing towards The Princess with a “this is a pleasant unforeseen benefit” type of look.

Tyler pulls Cain to his knees. Conor winds the chair behind his head.

CRACK.

And once more.

CRACK.

Tyler tells his younger brother to get to the top rope!

DDK:
This is not good… the match could very well be over right here! Conor’s on the top buckle, chair in hand… measuring Cain…

THUMP!

DDK:
AARON KING LEAPS ONTO THE APRON AND PUSHES CONOR OFF!! He goes flying into the guardrail on the outside!

The Gamers come alive as Tyler drops Cain and runs towards King. He hits a baseball dropkick to King’s head, knocking him off the apron and to the floor below. Tyler takes a few steps back and runs to the other side of the canvas, gaining as much momentum as possible before he dives through the top and middle rope…

WHAM!

DDK:
RIGHT INTO A STEEL CHAIR SHOT BY AARON KING!!

King falls back down, as at the very last moment he found the chair Conor Fuse dropped before being pushed off and used it across Tyler’s head when he came through the ropes!

DDK:
The Fuse Bros. are down… the only one left standing right now, and barely, is Aaron King!

And Desire.

Whom King just noticed is on the other side of the ring… alone… 

And he wants revenge.

The Gamers catch on instantly! King drops the chair and deadshots The Princess with his eyes. Desire doesn’t look concerned, not at first. That is, until King screams at her.

Aaron King:
And now, like, you’re gonna PAY for what you did, bruah!

Angus:
She’s not a bruah, she’s a Princess!

The fans boom in support of King, who methodically begins to walk around the ring, stalking his prey. Soon, King walks a little faster and when he arrives just one corner away from Desire, he begins to run…

WHAM!

Right into a steel chair to the side of the head!

DDK:
CONOR FUSE JUST POPPED UP, HIDING BEHIND THE STEEL STAIRS AND KNOCKED KING IN THE HEAD WITH A CHAIR!

Conor jumps up and down with his hands in the air like he’s won the Super Bowl. By now, the act is getting old and The Gamers are extremely tired of it. So Conor just doubles down and does it more obnoxiously.

Conor Fuse:
I HAVE ALL THE CODES!! FUSE BROS. 360 KNOWS ALL THE PASSWORDS!! NOTHING WILL STOP US IN OUR QUEST TO BE THE BEST!! WE BEAT THE GAME! WE ARE THE HIGH SCORE!!!

Princess Desire strolls over and kicks King in the chest. Then she uses the apron for leverage and starts annihilating King with numerous boots now, hammering him down as King, at first, would struggle to get to a knee… but by the end, he isn’t even moving.

Tyler recovers from the opposite side of the floor. He slowly makes his way over and moves Conor aside. He joins Desire in pummeling King and then all three members of Fuse Bros. 360 roll King back into the ring.

Tyler pulls out a table. He slides it in for good measure.

DDK:
Sad to say, it looks like The Bros. have this match in the palm of their hands.

Angus:
I know you’ll rip on me for this comment but they HAVE TO be the favorites anyway, Keebs. They are without a doubt one of the greatest tag teams in DEFIANCE history! Gulf Coast Connection was going to be overmatched no matter what!

DDK:
Unfortunately, you make a lot of sense here…

Angus:
I do?

Tyler props the table in the corner of the ring. He’s calling to hip toss Aaron King through it but hits the member of Gulf Coast with a few left hands first. The elder Fuse drags King to his feet and then lands his trademark pendulum backbreaker and Russian leg sweep before Conor performs a leg drop off the ropes and then a boot to the side of King’s face!

DDK:
The crowd is getting anxious…  

Tyler lifts a dazed and confused King to his wobbly base. He looks for the hip toss through the table but stops. He turns to Desire.

Tyler Fuse: [to Princess Desire]
Your turn…

Angus:
Desire’s gonna do it… 

Desire hooks her arm underneath King but just before she’s about to toss him through the table, the fans get very loud. Tyler and Conor are unsure what’s happening so they look around the ring…

It’s too late.

DDK:
CAIN IS ON THE TOP ROPE… LOOK OUT BELOW!!

All 6’5” of Theodore Cain comes crashing through The Bros. with a crossbody block! Princess Desire is able to roll away unharmed at the last second, dropping Aaron King in the process. Cain tries to get at her but she’s already out of the ring.

Cain goes back to work on Fuse Bros. 360. He Irish whips Tyler into the ropes and lands a powerslam! He throws Conor into the ropes and hits a sidewalk slam! He screams into the rafters and pounds his chest to the delight of The Faithful before inflicting more punishment!

High-elevated back body drop to Tyler! Gorilla press slam to Conor!

DDK:
Theodore Cain is on a roll!!

Cain pulls both Bros. to their feet. In a flash he hits a one-arm brainbuster to both of them, although the hangtime was limited given he only had one arm for each.

DDK:
IT’S THE THEODORE CAIN SHOW!!!

Angus:
I can’t watch!!

DDK:
Cain goes off the ropes and another BIG BOOT to Tyler! Off the ropes again and a BIG BOOT to Conor!! Now a snake eyes-big boot combo to Tyler Fuse!! The Fuse Bros. are a mess in the middle of the ring!

Angus:
Too much big boot. I thought there was a Big Boss, though. C’mon, Bros., c’mon!

DDK:
How do you know this stuff!?

Theodore Cain whips Tyler into the corner. Tyler’s body lays limp across the top rope. Cain hurls Conor into the same buckle to join him. While the two remain stuck in the corner, Cain shouts to the crowd and goes charging in with a full head of steam…

DDK:
BIG SPLASH!!!

Both Tyler and Conor stumble out, wobble around a few times in the middle of the ring before falling simultaneously onto the canvas.

Cain looks at the corner of the ring that still has the table propped up. He nods before exiting, looking under the apron and taking out ANOTHER table to a great reaction!

DDK:
Cain is setting up that table ON TOP OF the other one!

Angus:
We’ve got double-table madness here, Keebs! Double-table madness!

DDK:
Cain is calling for the end…

WHACK!

DDK:
THAT’S DESIRE IN THE RING, HITTING CAIN WITH A STEEL CHAIR TO THE BACK!

But it didn’t phase him.

WHACK!

This one knocks Cain a foot forward, hurting him a little but not doing enough damage to warrant anything else.

WHACK!

A third shot moves Cain into the ropes until he’s able to turn around and stare directly at The Princess. The Faithful come alive!

DDK:
I think she’s met her match this time…

Angus:
Dammit, you should’ve gone for the knee again, Princess!

Desire slowly backtracks. She’s using her free hand to find where the ring ropes are so she can duck out of the squared circle like she’s done so many times before. However, she soon realizes she’s in the middle of the ring and nowhere close to the ropes.

Cain smiles. Finally, Desire has fear in her eyes.

The fear goes away. She’s found the ropes…

Or has she?

As she continues to feel backwards with her free hand, she’s soon to realize she doesn’t have her hand on the ropes afterall. Instead, she has her hands on the chest of Aaron King.

DDK:
THEY HAVE HER CORNERED! The Princess is FINALLY going to get what she deserved for taking apart The Crescent City Kid!

“LET HER HAVE IT!” CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP.
“LET HER HAVE IT!” CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP.
“LET HER HAVE IT!” CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP.

Angus:
Disgusting! These Faithful sicken me sometimes!!

DDK:
Desire has nowhere to go… and given the state of Tyler and Conor, Aaron King and Theodore Cain can take their time!

Aaron King: [to Theodore Cain]
Like, what do you want to do with her, bruah?

Theodore Cain: [to Aaron King]
Man, like, we need to teach her a lesson, man.

Aaron King:
Yeah, man.

Theodore Cain:
Man, yeah!

Angus:
Fucking kill me.

King snatches the chair from Desire’s hands as she tries a last-ditch attempt to hit Cain again. He throws it out of the ring!

The Faithful are building and building in anticipation for The Princess to get hers.

Finally, she breaks her silence since she aligned herself with Fuse Bros. 360.

Princess Desire:
Look, I can explain myself.

King and Cain are having none of it as they enclose on her…

Princess Desire:
I swear I can.

Closer.

Princess Desire:
I…

DDK:
NOOO!!

The Gamers boo loudly as Tyler Fuse somehow comes crashing through the middle of Gulf Coast Connection, tackling The Princess to the floor and rolling out of the ring with her, all in one fluid motion!

Angus:
And she gets away AGAIN! This time with her Knight in Shining Armor!

While Gulf Coast could be irate given the situation, instead, they just look down at Tyler and Desire with smiles on their faces.

Aaron King:
Man, you’re just delaying the inevitable, man!

Theodore Cain:
Yeah, bruah!

BBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!

DDK:
CONOR USED THE GAME SHARK ON THEODORE CAIN!!!

Angus:
Where did that come from!?

The pinata shark explodes all over the ring, covering Cain with Fuse Bros. colored confetti!

King is quick to retaliate with a lariat to Player Two and throws him out of the ring! He then attends to Cain for a moment and calls Tyler Fuse into the ring.

Tyler shakes the pain out of his head and rolls into the squared circle. He gets to his feet and looks for a left hand but King blocks it! King hits Tyler with a right of his own to a loud pop from The Faithful! Tyler tries for another left but it’s blocked… and King once again hits a right instead! This happens a few more times before King works Tyler into the corner. King looks behind him, seeing the double-stacked tables laying there across the way. He smiles…

DDK:
KING TOSSES TYLER FUSE TO THE DOUBLE-TABLES…

But Conor jumps into play, catching Tyler at the last second as they both fall to the canvas! No one goes through the tables!

Angus:
Tyler saves The Princess, Conor saves his older brother. It’s love all around, Keebs! Love is all around!!

King decides to waste little time and come after The Bros. He takes Conor and hurls him out of the ring and begins hammering Tyler with a fury of right hands once again!

DDK:
King tosses Tyler into the ropes and a Lou Thesz press!! Now more right hands as The Faithful are alive!

“LET’S GO GULF COAST, LET’S GO!” CLAP, CLAP.
“LET’S GO GULF COAST, LET’S GO!” CLAP, CLAP.
“LET’S GO GULF COAST, LET’S GO!” CLAP, CLAP.

King throws his arms up as if to tell the fans to get on their feet. He takes Tyler and tosses him into the turnbuckle on the bottom right hand of the hard camera. He exits the ring and positions Tyler into the figure four leg lock from the bottom right ring post, the same move Tyler did to The Crescent City Kid just two weeks ago, dislocating his kneecap and knocking him out of action for the foreseeable future!

Referee Benny Doyle pleads with Aaron King not to but it doesn’t matter. He’s just about to hook his free leg over, let go and fall back before-

WHACK!

DDK:
DESIRE WITH ANOTHER CHAIR SHOT!!

She blasts King, putting the chair on her forearm and charging directly at King’s head! He’s instantly busted open as blood pours from his forehead. King tries to get up, but he has no idea where he is or what he’s doing.

Princess Desire starts to revive Tyler inside the ring.

Slowly coming to, Tyler unhooks his own legs around the post and greets Aaron on the outside. He pulls his blue bandana backwards and begins stomping a mudhole in his opponent.

Tyler Fuse: [in-between stomps]
I… told… you… your… Game… Over… was… coming. I… told… you… 

Tyler’s eyes go wide. He pulls King to his feet, hooks his head and runs onto the apron…

THUMP.

DDK:
A SICKENING CQC ON THE FLOOR!

Angus:
That was super impressive! Using the apron to run up and then driving King’s head down to the padded cement!

Tyler gets another idea.

He REMOVES the padding from the floor.

DDK:
No, Tyler. No. Not this… don’t do this… PLEASE DON’T DO THIS… 

Tyler hooks King’s head under his arm again…

DDK:
DON’T DO THIS!!

He runs up the apron… 

DDK:
TYLER, NOOOOOOOOOO!

THUMP.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

“YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!” CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP.
“YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!” CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP.
“YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!” CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP.

Angus:
HE KILLED HIM! I LOVE IT!!!

Tyler gets a second wind. He stands up and screams. He throws a nearby chair into the apron. He pushes the guardrail back towards The Gamers. He’s seeing nothing but red as he picks up King for one final time and with the help of Desire, they roll one-third of Gulf Coast Connection back into the ring.

The crowd immediately knows what’s about to happen.

DDK:
Tyler is going for the figure four off the ring ropes!!!

He hooks King’s legs around the post, rolls to the outside and then locks it in, pulling as hard as he can on the right leg of King. King doesn’t scream, he doesn’t do anything… he’s already been knocked out.

Benny Doyle is helpless, too, since the rules of the match clearly dictated it can only be won due to pinfall or submission and nothing more, not even a referee’s decision. Clearly, at this point, he would be calling for the match to end.

Tyler is seething. Princess Desire just stands there, admiring their work.

DDK:
STOP IT, TYLER!! YOU’VE PROVEN EVERYTHING OVER THESE PAST FEW WEEKS… YOU HAVE A MEAN STREAK!! THIS HAS TO STOP!!

Angus:
You’re such a hypocrite! It was okay for King to do the figure four off the post but NOT Tyler Fuse? BITCH, PLEASE!

Tyler pulls and pulls with all his might. King is completely motionless!

The Faithful come to. They see Theodore Cain has recovered from The Game Shark and he’s on the apron, across the way from Tyler Fuse, chair in hand.

Theodore Cain:
LIKE SURFS UP, BRUAH!!

He runs across the apron and then jumps at the last second, putting the chair under his body and CRUSHING Tyler Fuse with it!! The figure four leg lock is broken while Tyler, Theodore and the chair lay across the ringside floor.

WHAAAAMMMM!

“HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”
“HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”
“HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”

DDK:
THEODORE CAIN JUST MURDERED TYLER WITH THAT CHAIR!!

Angus:
Christ, I hope he’s okay! He ate that right in the face!!

Desire sprints over and attends to Tyler but once she sees Cain getting to his feet and the look on his face, seeing his teammate’s legs and unconscious body dangling from the ring post, she moves away. Far, far away.

Angus:
I haven’t seen Theodore Cain like this before…

DDK:
Angus, he’s pissed. He’s already down one member of the team and now it looks like he’s down two…

Cain glances down at Tyler, who is wearing his own crimson mask by now. Cain shouts a rally cry for his fallen partners and then lifts Tyler to his feet. He throws him into the post and then into the ring. He pulls back the apron and spends a good moment searching for a weapon he wants to use.

The Faithful approve loudly.

A double-sized ladder!

Cain struggles to lift it up at first and slide it into the ring but he is eventually able to.

DDK:
I can only imagine what’s to come now. You want to inflict punishment on Tyler for what he’s done but you also want to leave with your career intact. Don’t be too stupid, Cain! I know this is a big stage for you but…

Cain begins to set up the ladder-

DDK:
NO! A LOW BLOW BY CONOR FUSE!

Cain takes it and bends over but it’s clear he’s of a different mindset right now. He sucks back the pain and gets back to a vertical base. He turns to see Player Two standing there, not knowing what to do.

Conor Fuse:
Game Over, Mr. NPC.

Theodore Cain shakes his head no.

Theodore Cain:
Wrong, man. Like you already used your Game Shark and I’m like right back up, man! It’s Game Over for YOU.

The Faithful roar in support as Conor looks behind him and realizes he has nowhere to go. He tries for a left hand but it barely phases Cain. The crowd boos when it lands.

Cain fires back with a right. The Faithful bellow a cheer.

Conor with a left. Boos.

Cain with a right. Cheers.

Conor with a left. Boos.

Cain with a right. Cheers.

Left. Boos.

Right. Cheers.

Left. Boos. Right Cheers.

Leftboos. Rightcheers.

Leftboos. Rightcheers. Leftboos. Rightcheers. Leftboos. Rightcheers. Leftboos. Rightcheers. Leftboos. Rightcheers.

And then the momentum is all Theodore.

RIGHT, CHEERS. RIGHT, CHEERS. RIGHT, CHEERS. RIGHT, CHEERS.

DDK:
It’s deafening in here!!

Cain works Conor into the corner. He turns to the fans and shouts “PINBALL!” signifying his 4-buckle Irish whip maneuver.

He tosses Conor into the first turnbuckle and Conor bounces off it.

He tosses Conor into the second buckle and Conor bounces off it.

He tosses Conor into the third buckle and Conor bounces off it.

Theodore stops. He looks at the fourth buckle. The double-stacked tables still remain.

Cain is all smiles.

Theodore Cain:
YEAH BRUAH, LIKE YEAH!

CRRRRAAAASSSSSHHHHHH!!!!

DDK:
THEODORE CAIN JUST HIP TOSSED CONOR FUSE THROUGH BOTH TABLES!!! FINALLY!!!

Cain walks over to Conor but he notices Tyler struggling to get the ladder out of the ring. Right before Tyler is able to, Cain decides Tyler hasn’t got the beating he deserves and turns his attention back on him.

Cain grabs Tyler by his blue bandana, pulling him to his knees. The crimson mask covers Tyler’s forehead and eyes, so no one can tell if he can see or not.

Theodore Cain:
Like looks like it’s Game Over for you too, man.

DDK:
Theodore Cain with a brainbuster to Tyler! He’s signalling for his finishing move… BOTTOM’S UP!

BOTTOM’S UP! The crowd roars in support!

DDK:
IT’S OVER, I DON’T BELIEVE IT!

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

SAVE BY DESIRE!!

BBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

DDK:
THIS WOMAN IS MADNESS! SHE HAS CONTINUED TO GET IN THE WAY OF EVERYTHING!

Cain tries to get up but Desire rakes his back. She bounces off the ropes and delivers a well placed missile dropkick straight into Theodore’s right leg! The smack is heard throughout the entire arena!

Princess Desire starts to revive Tyler. She realizes it might be a lost cause so she goes over to Conor Fuse and does the same. Player Two is at least able to form a word or two as he rolls onto his back.

DDK:
Desire’s only hope is to get Conor up before Theodore Cain.

Angus:
She’s a smart woman, though. Look at her…

Desire bounces off the ropes again and lands a dropkick to Cain’s knee for a second time and fourth overall in this contest!

The camera shows Aaron King still motionless, a little off to the side of the turnbuckle he was figure four’ed on. Benny Doyle had been attending to him at dead times during the match but it’s clear King is completely out of this one.

Princess Desire shows some sense of urgency as she shakes Conor and begs him to get to his feet, while looking over her shoulder at Theodore Cain rather frequently.

Princess Desire:
C’mon, Conor… you have to… you HAVE TO…

DDK:
Conor is stirring…

Angus:
So is Cain! Bro, Conor… for the LIFE of you, maybe literally, GET UP!

Cain gets to one knee. Conor gets to one knee.

Desire rolls out of the ring as Conor runs at Theodore…

DDK:
CAIN CATCHES CONOR AND HITS A FALL AWAY SLAM, THROWING PLAYER TWO OUT OF THE RING!!!

Another “Holy shit” chant starts up…

Angus:
Why are they chanting holy shit? I’ve seen more impressive things-

Angus cuts himself off, noticing The Faithful weren’t cheering for the fall away slam but rather for Cain, setting up the oversized ladder inside the ring as he begins to climb it!

DDK:
Theodore, you’re going to kill yourself! This is taking it to the extreme!!

Angus: [mocking the way Gulf Coast speaks]
Like, he can’t hear you, man. Like, like…

Cain starts making his way to the top. He has the ladder at the edge of the ring, across from the rampway and to the side where he threw Conor Fuse out of the ring.

DDK:
There’s nothing down there to break your fall… 

Angus:
Yeah, nothing but a MAN. He’s going to kill Conor! I can’t look, Keebs! I can’t-

SUDDENLY, the fans turn into a frenzy, trying to warn Theodore Cain…

DDK:
IT’S DESIRE!! AGAIN!!

Angus:
YES!!!! YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE! If Theodore Cain is going to be THAT fucking stupid and not remember for like the fiftieth time this woman is LURKING ABOUT… then you deserve to get what’s coming to you…

Theodore Cain sees Desire. He grins from ear to ear.

Theodore Cain:
Oh, like dear, this was for you…

Cain jumps off the ladder, in DESIRE’S direction!

DDK:
AIM COMING!!!!

But Tyler appears out of nowhere, making the save by pushing Desire out of the way and eating the big splash instead!!!

DDK:
CAIN LANDS ON TYLER!!! Although he didn’t get what he wanted, he’s taken Player One out for what has to be… once and for all!

Cain takes his time to rise. Since he wasn’t expecting to land on Tyler Fuse, he seems hurt by the unanticipated impact. He gets up but Princess Desire comes rushing in again, this time with a baseball bat and cracks it, splitting it in half, right across Theodore’s back!

Cain falls to one knee, clutching his ribs. Princess Desire shouts at Conor Fuse on the outside, as Player Two has recovered just a little. Conor pulls back the ring apron and drags out a table. He sets it up on the outside.

Princess Desire calls for Conor to join her in the ring. They beat down Theodore Cain some more and work him into the ropes nearest the table. Conor and The Princess go outside the ring but stand on the apron…

DDK:
Are they… are they going to double suplex him out of the ring and to the table below???

Angus:
Yes, Sherlock. It looks like that’s what they’re trying to do! How did you guess? Idiot…

Conor and Princess Desire try lifting Cain off his feet but they aren’t able to! They try once more… and this time they are able but only for a second! Conor lets go of Cain and The Princess does the same, letting one-third of Gulf Coast rest on the ring ropes instead.

Conor pushes Desire in the chest, in a similar fashion as Tyler would do to him when they want to ramp up the intensity and finish the match.

Conor screams at Desire.

Conor Fuse:
FINISH HIM!!

The fire in her eyes ignite as they hook into Cain once more, attempting a final suplex out of the ring, off the apron and into the table below.

CRUNCH!!!

“HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!”

Angus:
This time it’s deserved… HOLY SHIT!!!

DDK:
I don’t know how but they did it. That Princess Desire has a ton of strength in her!

Conor laughs it up as he gets to one knee. He checks on The Princess to ensure she’s okay. Conor puts both hands up in the air and continues to jump around. Meanwhile, Desire pulls back the apron and takes out another table. This time, she pushes Conor in the chest.

Princess Desire:
FINISH HIM~!!!!!

Conor agrees.

They collectively work together to get Cain on the table while clearing away the shattered pieces of the last one. It’s a struggle but after a good minute, they have Cain on the table. Conor slides back into the ring and positions the ladder.

DDK:
Oh my god…

He starts climbing.

The entire arena is on their feet and although they are booing, they watch with intent… 

DDK:
Conor is at the top of that MEGA ladder… WHAT THE HELL!!!!

The Faithful come ALIVE as Aaron King stands below the ladder, wobbling everywhere. He has enough wherewithal, however, to know what’s happening and starts to TIP THE LADDER FORWARD.

Conor begs for him not to. Begs. Begs. Begs.

King doesn’t give a damn. He can barely stand and doesn’t have enough time…

Aaron King:
Game… Over… for you.

BOOOOOOOOM!!

DDK:
CONOR FUSE WAS JUST PUSHED OFF THE LADDER AND HE FALLS OUT OF THE RING AND INTO THE FIRST FEW ROWS OF FANS!!

It’s clear Conor fell into a bunch of BRAZEN talent watching the contest unfold but it still didn’t take away from the shock factor of the fall and the impact he had upon landing.

“THIS IS AWESOME!” CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP.
“THIS IS AWESOME!” CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP.
“THIS IS AWESOME!” CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP.

DDK:
CONOR FUSE IS DEAD, FOLKS. I’VE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE FALL FROM SUCH HEIGHTS BEFORE…

Angus:
Yes you have, you’re being over-dramatic!

CRACK.

Before The Faithful can get behind anything else, Princess Desire is back in the ring and levels Aaron King with a chair shot!

She stands tall. She’s the sole survivor because everyone else is in pieces.

Desire holds her arms up to a loud chorus of boos. She slides out of the ring closest to the rampway and that’s when the loudest pop of the contest takes place. The normal stoic look of The Princess becomes a confused one, wondering why The Gamers have suddenly decided to cheer for her.

The answer: they aren’t.

DDK:
THAT’S THE CRESCENT CITY KID!! THE KID IS COMING DOWN THE RAMPWAY!!! MY GOD, THE KID IS HERE TO GET HIS REVENGE!!

As DDK explains, CCK is limping down the entrance, sporting his wrestling gear but also wearing a walking boot on his left leg, a knee brace on his right knee and having his ribs heavily taped.

He staggers down the rampway with The Princess still unaware of what’s happening until it’s too late.

She turns around into a full head-of-steam clothesline from hell!

DDK:
THE KID KNOCKED DOWN THE PRINCESS!! SHE FINALLY GETS IT!!

He screams a rally cry and begins putting his walking boot to Desire’s chest. He picks her up and tosses her into the guardrail! Then he picks her up and throws her into the other guardrail! Finally, he jumps on top of the guardrail and lands a tornado DDT!!

DDK:
How is he able to do this!? The man can barely walk!!!

“CRESCENT CITY!!” CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP!
“CRESCENT CITY!!” CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP!
“CRESCENT CITY!!” CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP!

CCK isn’t done. He pulls The Princess by her dyed red hair and hurls her into the ring apron! He throws her into the ring and slowly climbs the stairs.

The Kid stops before entering the ring. He points to the top rope!

The Faithful go wild!!

DDK:
THE CRESCENT CITY KID IS GOING TO THE TOP ROPE… I DON’T KNOW HOW HE CAN BALANCE UP THERE BUT... 

450 SPLASH, also known as the Hurricane Press!!

The arena is unglued! They pretend to count a three, although CCK and Desire aren’t legal in the match. The Kid gets up and starts ripping the tape away from his ribs, in his version of Hulking up.

DDK:
A STAR IS BORN TONIGHT IN THE CRESCENT CITY KID… LISTEN TO THIS OVATIO-

SLAM!!!

DDK:
TYLER FUSE WITH A SPEAR TO CCK!

Tyler rolls onto his back. His crimson mask has crusted over his face so he can see just a little. It’s difficult for him to sit up, get to one knee and ultimately rise from the canvas but slowly, to a loud chorus of boos, he’s able to.

Angus:
Tyler Fuse is the last one standing… END THIS TYLER. PUT THESE NPC’S TO GAME OVER ONCE AND FOR ALL!

Tyler stumbles to the ropes. He looks towards The Crescent City Kid and drags him slowly by his mask. Tossing him out of the ring, Tyler exits too. Player One lifts CCK up and drops him neck-first on the guardrail! He follows this by hurling The Kid into the steel stairs and dusts his hands like a job well done.

Tyler Fuse:
You never should have come back.

Tyler was going to move away from CCK but has second thoughts.

DDK:
ANOTHER SPEAR!!!

Tyler pulls out the ring apron. Tossing two chairs into the ring, he follows and finds Aaron King laying there.

The older Bro props the chairs up, facing them beside each other. He pulls King to both knees and runs into the ropes…

DDK:
Tyler looks for a superkick but King rolls out of the way! I don’t know how he’s done it but King has a second wind! Tyler bounces into the ropes but King gets to his feet and hits a snap powerslam!

King stumbles around. He clears the ring of debris and connects with The Party Down! Asking Benny Doyle to make the count, the referee slides into position…

ONE.

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!

The Faithful thought it was three and so did Aaron King.

DDK:
IT WAS THAT CLOSE, FOLKS!

King lets out a huff. He can barely stand, given the figure four leg lock off the ring post which now seems like centuries ago.

DDK:
King is really grappling here. He can barely do anything else… that uranage backbreaker took it all outta him!

With one last go, using the fans as momentum, he grabs Tyler by his legs and works him into the Boston Crab, better known as The Pensacola Crab!

DDK:
AARON HAS IT!! HE’S GOT IT LOCKED IN!!

Tyler, still a sea of red on his face, tries to fight away by screaming and waving his arms. The Gamers stand, hoping to witness a miracle and what would be considered a major upset in DEFIANCE.

DDK:
THROUGH HELL, HIGH WATER… A RED RING OF DEATH, WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT… AARON KING IS MERE SECONDS AWAY FROM THE VICTORY!!

“TAP YOU ASSHOLE!” CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP.
“TAP YOU ASSHOLE!” CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP.
“TAP YOU ASSHOLE!” CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP.

Angus:
FIGHT TYLER… FOR THE LOVE OF GORRAM… FIIIIIGHTTTTT!

DDK:
TYLER HAS NOWHERE TO GO… HE’S SHOUTING IN PAIN…

Aaron King: [screaming]
TAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!! TAAAAAPPPPPPPPP BRUAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

King continues to wrench back, trying not to pass out from the pain in his own legs as he does!

DDK:
TYLER IS IN THE CENTER OF THE RING… CAN KING DO IT!? THERE’S NO ONE ELSE TO SAVE TYLER FUSE, NOT THIS TIME!

The camera shows Conor Fuse still out from the ladder fall and Princess Desire out from the beating at the hands of CCK.

Tyler’s arm rises. He’s about to tap.

The arena grows hotter… hotter… waiting… waiting… 

DDK:
TYLER TAPS!?!?

King sinks the hold in just a little more…

BUT Tyler is somehow able to slip out as King’s knee gives away at the very last second!

DDK:
TYLER ESCAPES THE HOLD!! THIS MATCH IS STILL ON!!

Angus:
What a fighting spirit by Tyler Fuse! I know his heart belongs to The Princess but man he can have mine, too!

DDK:
Jesus Christ…

Tyler crawls to the ropes, trying to make it to his feet. Meanwhile, Aaron King is rolling around the floor in a heap of pain.

Aaron King: [to the referee]
I heard something pop, bruah. Like, I heard it…

Tyler pulls himself to one leg with the use of the ropes. He wipes the hardened blood away from his eyeline.

Bronx jeers roll in. Tyler gets to his feet. He limps towards Aaron King and then King rolls him into a small package!!

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!!!

A huge sigh leaves the arena!

DDK:
I THOUGHT IT WAS OVER!!!

CRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tyler gets up, instantly takes hold of Aaron King’s head and hits CQC on him, driving his skull through the chairs he previously placed in the middle of the squared circle.

Player One demands Benny Doyle make the count. The Gamers know the outcome is academic.

ONE.

 

 

TWO.

 

 

THREE.

DING DING DING

DDK:
DAMMIT! JUST… WELL… GOD DAMMIT.

Darren Quimbey:
The winners of this match, Tyler and Conor Fuse… FUUUUUSE BROS. 360!!

♫ "Boss Theme" from Snake’s Revenge on the NES ♫

Their theme song airs over the PA while Tyler rolls to his back. The camera pans out, showing the mess inside and outside the ring. Conor Fuse is still laid out in the aliseway, being attended to by a few of the security guards nearby.

Angus:
A red ring of death, that’s for sure. Look at the blood!

The camera jumps to The Crescent City Kid, who’s laid out beside the steel stairs. Theodore Cain is still dangling off the table on the outside. King is finished in a heap inside the ring and Princess Desire barely makes a stir on the rampway.

Tyler Fuse, meanwhile, just blinks into the rafters.

EMT’s rush down to check on all parties.

DDK:
This match was hell. I will continue to give Fuse Bros. 360 their credit, they are warriors but you have to give credit to Gulf Coast, too. They were in a war. While they didn’t come out the victors, I’m sure they gained a lot of support tonight.

Angus:
Yeah, yeah, whatever. And we all love the San Francisco 49ers this year. What about the Golden State Warriors last year? Screw that, Keebs. Losers are losers. It’s all about who WINS IT IN THE END!!

Somehow, Conor Fuse rolls into the ring and helps his brother get on one knee. Princess Desire begins to show signs of life too as The Bros. welcome her to join them. What seemed like the end of the contest suddenly brings a dark cloud over it as Tyler demands for the peach colored bag, the one Conor took out and displayed to everyone before the match began.

The Princess stumbles about but finds where the bag is and brings it into the ring. After taking a good 30-seconds to collect himself, Tyler stands and shoves the EMT’s who were looking at him to the side. The Gamers boo while The Bros. music turns off.

DDK:
I don’t know what he’s doing but Tyler needs medical attention too!

Tyler doesn’t care. He practically falls out of the ring and wobbles over to The Crescent City Kid. He kicks him in the side of the head.

DDK:
Enough, Tyler! This match is OVER. You had your victory!

Tyler kicks CCK again.

Angus:
Haha, I love where this is going!!

Conor exits the ring and joins his brother. Tyler directs Conor to make his way towards Theodore Cain. Cain is half-hanging from the unbroken table he was originally supposed to be put through before Conor was thrown off the ladder and into The Gaming Community. Conor starts hammering him with left hands to another chorus of boos!

Tyler chucks The Kid into the ring while more EMT’s attempt to stop him from reentering as well. He doesn’t listen.

Tyler hands Princess Desire the peach colored bag and like a clueless robot, she strolls over to the side of the ring where Conor is and hands him the bag.

DDK:
I don’t want to know what’s in there, do I?

Angus:
Pretty sure you’re gonna find out!

First, Conor positions Theodore Cain chest-first on the table and then, to the horror of everyone in attendance, he spills the contents of the bag across Cain’s back.

Thumbtacks.

DDK:
OH NO…

Angus:
This is taking it too far… and I’m intrigued!

Conor holds Cain into place, making sure he doesn’t roll off the table. Tyler hits The Crescent City Kid with CQC and then drags his lifeless body to the turnbuckle closest to the table and Theodore Cain.

Once again, the EMT’s and referees plead with Tyler to stop what he’s doing. He pushes a few of them away and threatens to harm them if any of them come closer.

Tyler ascends to the top rope, pulling The Kid’s body along with him.

DDK:
I seriously can’t watch…

Player One hoists The Crescent City Kid onto his shoulders…

DDK:
Tyler…

And throws The Kid off the top rope, in a fireman’s carry…

CRRRAAASSSHHH!!

The crowd is in horror at the result.

The Crescent City Kid flies off the top rope, crashing back-first into Theodore Cain, who’s laying chest-first on the table below. Also laying on top of Theodore Cain… a landfill of thumbtacks.

The table breaks. Cain and The Kid scream in agony after the impact.

DDK:
WE NEED MEDICS OUT HERE ASAP!!!

Angus:
Well, guess these clowns are off the main roster now, HAHA.

DDK:
I can’t believe you support this!!

Tyler watches in a trance as The Crescent City Kid and Theodore Cain suffer great deal of pain on the floor below him. Conor hits his brother on the chest, trying to get him to come down from the top rope and snap him out of his zombie-like state of mind. Princess Desire has taken this opportunity to fall back down on the canvas floor and receive more medical attention.

Conor finally grabs his brother’s attention. Tyler stumbles down the turnbuckle, almost falling himself. Conor wraps his arms around Tyler and the two begin to pull each other away from the carnage and slowly towards the entrance way.

DDK:
There is no going back from any of these. Tyler and Conor Fuse and now this Princess Desire… they are downright terrifying.

Angus:
Gulf Coast Connection should’ve stayed down the first time. Hate to say I told them so.

Arm in arm, Princess Desire joins The Bros. as they slowly make their way up the ramp. Tyler continues to refuse medical attention while Conor complains about a million aches and pains across his body but Tyler refuses medical attention for him, too.

DDK:
We can only hope these injuries are minor for Gulf Coast… 

Angus:
What a hell of a match!! What a night we’ve had so far!!!

As we cut back from commercial we see Angus and Keebler ready to call the upcoming title match.

DDK:
Welcome back ladies and gentlemen where we have our first of two FIST of DEFIANCE championship matches. I’m still in shock Angus.

Angus:
Me too Keebs. It amazes more how this parasite was able to find a loophole and book himself into a match for the FIST here tonight.

DDK:
Regardless, we are having a title match and it’s happening right now.

Darren Quimbey:

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight’s title match is set for one fall with a thirty minute TIME! LIMIT! And it is for THE FIST OF DEFIANCE CHAMPIONSHIP!

The Faithful give a mixed reaction.

Darren Quimbey:
Introducing first…..

The lights in the arena go out when a voice shouts over the arena speakers….

“MAKE THE FIST GREAT AGAIN!”

The slow bellow of the guitar hits as the video screen lights up and flashes across the screen a Texas flag, with the words, “Texas Born. Texas Bred.” “Texas Forever.“ branded into the flag. The cheers that had once filled the arena quickly turn into jeers. The Faithful know who is about to walk out and they are letting him know it by chanting his favorite chant as the final image that is displayed across the screen and that message reads in bold, capitalized letters… SCOTT STEVENS as 

♫ “Hail to the Chief” by James Sanderson ♫ 

Plays throughout the arena.

Darren Quimbey:

From The Great State of Texas, weighing in at 256 pounds…He is the ACE OF DEFIANCE CHAMPION! SCOTT! STEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEENS!

Quimbey can barely be heard over the crowd as a spotlight hits the darkened stage to reveal Scott Stevens.

DDK:
Stevens is extremely focus tonight. Tonight he gets his rematch for the FIST and he looks confident.

Angus:
If he wins tonght I think I’m gonna run myself into some traffic after the show.

Stevens makes his way down the ramp and pays no attention to the Filth cursing him out and throwing trash his way.

DDK:
Even the Faithful aren’t getting to Stevens.

Stevens climbs the ring steps and makes his way into the ring. Once inside, he stretches out on the ring ropes.

Darren Quimbey:
And his opponent…...

♫ "Raise Your Flag” by MAN WITH A MISSION ♫

The fans cheer in adulation for DEFIANCE’S technically-savvy New Zealander.

Darren Quimbey:

And introducing in the corner to my right… from Wellington, New Zealand and residing in New Orleans, Louisiana! Weighing in at 243 pounds… He is the reigning and defending FIST of DEFIANCE… ”TWISTS AND TURNS” OSCAR BURNS!

However, Oscar Burns doesn’t show.

DDK:
Where’s Oscar?

Angus:
Maybe he isn’t taking Stevens seriously.

Stevens, not happy with Burns not coming out snatches the microphone from Quimbey.

Scott Stevens:
You think this is a game Oscar? You think this is a fucking game?!?!?!?

Stevens yells and the Faithful laugh at the Texan.

Scott Stevens:
Let me tell you something Oscar, as the TRUMP of DEFIANCE Champion, I can also make this whatever kind of match I want and since you want to dick around with your Monopoly Money….excuse me, Mikey Money. You left me no choice.

Stevens says sternly.

Scott Stevens:
I am making this match that if Oscar Burns gets disqualified or COUNTED OUT he will lose the championship.

Angus:
He can’t do that.

DDK:
I think he just did.

Scott Stevens:
Mr. Official, start your count.

Hector Navarro reluctantly begins his count

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

DDK:
Oscar better come out or lose his championship to Stevens.

Five.

Six.

Seven.

Angus:
Well, looks like the end of the line for me.

Eight.

Nine.

Te…….

♫ "Raise Your Flag” by MAN WITH A MISSION ♫

The Faithful go wild at the sound of the champion’s music.

DDK:
Is he coming out?!?!?

As the camera zooms in towards the ramp we see Oscar Burns smiling face.

DDK:
He’s here!

Angus:
Thank God.

However, Oscar doesn’t move from the curtain area.

DDK:
Why isn’t Oscar coming down?

Angus:
No idea, he looks a little stiff.

You have know idea how stiff as Cary Stevens emerges from backstage carrying a cardboard cutout of the FIST of DEFIANCE champion with a replica championship of FIST over his shoulder as the Faithful boo loudly and begin throwing stuff at Cary.

Angus:
The fuck is this shit Keebs?

DDK:
My guess is Stevens is going to wrestle a cardboard cutout.

Angus:
Are you serious?

Cary throws the cardboard cutout into the ring and makes makes his way inside as well. The patriarch of the Stevens Dynasty picks up the cardboard cutout and places it into the opposite corner.

Scott Stevens:
One last thing before we begin…..

Stevens says but can barely be heard as the Faithful are drowning him out.

Scott Stevens:
This match is a debate..

Angus:
A debate? Does this look like a Presidential Debate Keebs?

Scott Stevens:
The first person to answer three out of the five questions quickly is the new FIST of DEFIANCE champion and if you fail to communicate you lose that round.

Stevens smirks.

Angus:
What fucking bullshit.

Ding. Ding.

DDK:
And here we go.

Cary Stevens:
Question one, Mr. Stevens, Why do you think you make a better FIST than Oscar Burns?

Cary asks and Stevens takes a moment to think.

DDK:
Legit question.

Angus:
Shut up.

Scott Stevens:
I’m a better FIST because I never lost it to begin with. That idiot cost me my title when he was pinned by Kendrix so technically I never lost the championship because I was NEVER BEATEN for it.

DDK:
Stevens has a valid point.

Cary Stevens:
Same question to the champion.

Cary makes his way over to the cardboard cutout and holds the microphone up to his face.

Angus:
We are going to let this charade continue?

Cary Stevens:
I am sorry, but because he refuses to answer I’m going to have to disqualify Oscar Burns on this round and one point goes to the former FIST, Scott Stevens.

The Faithful boo louder.

Cary Stevens:
Question two, Mr. Stevens, during your DEFIANCE career, you have dominated Oscar Burns. Is this the primary reason why it is your goal to make the FIST great again as you put it?

Scott Stevens:
Why, yes it is. You see, this cardboard cutout of a man couldn’t beat me every time I stepped into the ring with him. I beat him in my debut, I beat him for the championship and I will continue to beat him every time I face him. I would still be holding that…..

Stevens points to the FIST replica fastened to the cutout’s waist.

Scott Stevens:
If he didn’t get pinned by Kendrix because I had him beat in the ring and JFK picked the bones like the jackal that he is.

The Faithful boo and begin to chant Scott’s favorite chant.

Cary Stevens:
Same question to the champion.

Cary makes his way over to the cardboard cutout and holds the microphone up to his face.

Angus:
Can’t believe no one has pulled the plug on this farce.

Cary Stevens:
I am sorry, but because he refuses to answer I’m going to have to disqualify Oscar Burns on this round and one point goes to the former FIST, Scott Stevens.

The Faithful tell Cary to Shut the Fuck Up as the patriarch simply shakes his head.

Cary Stevens:
If Oscar refuses to answer this question he loses the championship so you have to answer. Do you understand Oscar?

Cary looks at the cutout before continuing.

Cary Stevens:
Question three, if you were to regain the FIST tonight, what would you do to make it great again?

Scott Stevens:
Easy.

Stevens says, clearing his throat.

Scott Stevens:
I will be a fighting champion and defend it against all worthy challengers unlike my opponent who defends it against competition he knows he can beat. I will defend it against the very best and prove why I will go down as the greatest FIST of DEFIANCE champion of all time.

Stevens says has he cocks the FIST.

Cary Stevens:
Rebuttal from the champion if you were to retain the championship here tonight.

Cary makes his way over to the cardboard cutout and holds the microphone up to his face.

Cary Stevens:
I am sorry, but because he refuses to answer I’m going to have to disqualify Oscar Burns on this round and one point and victory goes to the NEW! FIST OF DEFIANCE CHAMPION, SCOTT! STEVENS!

Stevens starts jumping up and down and yanks the title belt off of the cardboard cutout tearing it in half and the Texan forces Quimbey to make it official.

Darren Quimbey:
And here is your winner…...AND NEW! FIST OF DEFIANCE CHAMPION! SCOTT! STEVENS!

DDK:
I don’t know how official this match was but it’s done now.

Angus:
About time.

Stevens climbs the nearest turnbuckle and holds up the ACE and FIST of DEFIANCE high into the air.

Cut to a large sweeping crane shot of the LakeFront Arena, filled to the brim with the rapid as ever DEFIANCE Faithful.

DDK:
This has been several weeks in the making here, Angus! Elise Ares begged for a match with Scott Douglas to prove who, infact, was the greatest DEFIANCE Southern Heritage Champion and when he bested her - that wasn’t good enough.

Angus:
And she knew K-Cup’s hated The D-ouche enough to trick that coffee filled dumbass to make this happen.

DDK:
Well, that may be a bit of an oversimplification but certainly The D and his crew of hooligans have certainly had quite the tit for tat with Kerry Kuroyama over the past six months, resulting in several injuries and a suspension.

Angus: [laughing]
YEAH! And all of those were for K-Cupples!

Cut to Darren and Angus at the Commentation Station.

DDK:
My broadcast colleague's colorful comments aside … Just TWO weeks ago on DEFtv we saw the REUNION of the Pop Culture Phenom’s proper.

Angus:
Yeah, that mexican girl and the dummy who used to wear the box.

DDK:
Don’t who’s on first me, ‘Gus.

Angus:
Don’t start that again.

DDK:
Last weeks, DEFtv closed with The D and Elise Ares reuniting over a mutual disdain for Scott Douglas and Kerry K -- 

Angus:
CUPS!

DDK:
Let’s go down to the ring!

Cut to the ring, where Darren Quimbey stands at the ready.

Darren Quimbey:
The following match is scheduled for … one FALL!

The Faithful repeat One Fall, because apparently that is something wrestling audiences do now.

♫ “Together We’ll Never” by Green River ♫

Darren Quimbey:
Introducing first, weighing in at a combined weight of four hundred and fifty two pounds… From Seattle, Washington … 

The LakeFront Arena amount of the Faithful begin to drown out Darren Quuimbey.

Darren Quimbey:

… “Sub Pop” Scott DOUGLASSSS … [pauses for crowd reaction] … and “THE PACIFIC BLITZKRIEG!” KERRRRY KUROYAAMAMAA! 

As the similar but new them rings over the PA system with its grungey tones “Sub Pop” Scott Douglas steps out on the larger than normal entry stage with “The Pacific Blitzkrieg” Kerry Kuroyama following close behind. Both men stand stoically side by side on the stage as the moderate pyro shoots off around them. The focused look on their collective faces makes a clear statement, they are here to settle a score. 

DDK:
We have seen this side of Scott Douglas before, partner … and honestly it can get ugly! A vengeful Sub Pop is a dangerous one! 

Angus:
I know, this is going to be great! And K-CUP-A-LUP-A-GUS has straight up been evil before … HE WAS A REAPER! So, I can’t wait for Seattle’s Best Boyscouts all hopped up on adrenaline and anger make PCP stand for Pounding Contusions …

DDK:
…

Angus:
Wait, I had something for this …

As the music stops, the sound of brass instruments warming up pierces through the silence. A nearly audible eye roll collectively resonates through the crowd as the band begins to play… Krewella?

♫ “Live For The Night” by Krewella ♫

Angus:
.. AND PUNISHMENT! 

DDK:
Really, Angus? 

It’s only a matter of seconds until a brass band and drumline emerge onto the large stage. Dressed in hot pink and royal blue, the heralds of Krewella are followed closely by a crowd of dancers, dressed in sequins of matching color. They do a choreographed dance routine, all of their faces adorned with signature LED sunglasses flashing “THE” and “SEQUEL.” Although, the Faithful doesn’t have much time to process this as suddenly a large Mardi Gras float births onto the stage.

DDK:
Oh… dear lord.

Angus:
Someone needs to get the Pounding Contusions a calendar because they’ve missed Mardi Gras!

On top of the Hollywood themed float, every member of the Pop Culture Phenoms are joined by a tuba player, a trio of dancers, and two mascots wearing giant cartoonized heads of The D and Elise Ares. O-Face, Flex Kruger, The D, Elise Ares, and Klein are all swirling beads above their heads as they make their way towards the aisle that they’ll just barely fit down. They all hurl their golden beads in different directions towards the Faithful, celebrating their precision with each other. Soon after a string of beads comes sailing back towards them again, causing Elise to hit the deck.

DDK:
They can throw ‘em, but they can’t catch ‘em!

Angus:
Are we talking about the beads or their career?

Quimbey:
And their opponents… hailing from Hollywood, California. Accompanied to the ring by OOOOO-Face, Flex Kruger, and Klein. At a combined weight of two-hundred and ninety-eight pooooooooounds…

Angus:
That’s not even Dex Joy! They’re less than the biggest boy!

 

DDK:
Dex Joy?! They’re not even Jack Mace! They’re not even a big boy. They’re just an above-average boy.

Quimbey:
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEElise Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrres and The DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE… [pauses for imaginary cheers]... THE POP CULLLLTURE PHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENOMS!

On the float, Klein has put on a pair of latex gloves to pick up the beads hurled at them from a poor as the duo pose for the audience only to hear a choir of jeers. Elise continues her princess wave none-the-wiser, while the rest of the costumed mascots, dancers, and O-Face begin bowing to their greatness. As the float comes to a stop, all members sanitize before exiting the vehicle. Klein and Flex Kruger hold the ropes for The D and Elise Ares to enter the ring, where they pose for the Faithful… who sound about as thrilled as Scott Douglas and Kerry Kuroyama look.

DDK:
I think we both more or less feel the same way about this team, Angus, but when they were the DEFIANCE Tag Team Champions they did nothing but prove us wrong at every turn about who they were and what they were capable of doing. I certainly don’t appreciate or enjoy their tactics, but they are without a doubt one of the greatest and most successful tag teams in DEFIANCE history.

Angus:
Scott and K-Cups have their work cut out for them… for sure, but it’s been YEARS since these two have teamed up! The magic is gone!

DDK:
It sounds like The Faithful sure hope you’re right, Angus. Listen to this ovation!

The brass band, increasingly being overpowered by the boos from the crowd, finally stop playing leaving only the hate to fill the arena. Elise stands in the ring and shares a word with The D before he steps out. She tries to scream over the Faithful and points…

Elise Ares:
GIVE ME SCOTT DOUGLAS!

Kerry turns to Scott who just took his place on the apron.

DDK:
Benny Doyle is calling for the bell and … it looks like Elise’s demands are being answered earlier here! 

Scott obliges. 

Angus:
Oh, you pissed off the boy scout last week missy! You’re going to get it now! 

 DING! DING!

DDK:
OH!!  Scott Douglas wasting no time charging toward the Former Southern Heritage Champion full speed! But as we discussed those PCP tactics rear their ugly head once again! 

Angus:
You think Elise is ugly, Keebs? Better not let her here you say that.

As Darren eluded to, Queen of Sports Entertainment Style ducks between the ropes just as Douglas makes it to her. Benny Doyle calls for a rope break as Elise screams and demands he do the thing that he is already doing.  Doyle ushers Douglas back and The D tags himself. 

DDK:
Looks like it’ll be The D and Scott Douglas starting this match.

Angus:
Don’t try to change the subject. I’mma tell her.

DDK:
Lock up! 

Angus:
How does twitter work...

The D and Scott Douglas do just that but Sub Pop is able to quickly grab a side headlock. Scott drives the pair back into the ropes and The D uses the momentum to shoot DEFIANCE’s Favorite son across the ring. 

DDK:
Off the ropes, The D with a shoulder bl -- NO! Scott Douglas with one of his own!

The D hits the mat and Douglas hits the ropes, skipping over The D - who immediately hops to his feet. Scott on the return baseball slides between The D’s leg as he throws a clothesline. The D spins around as Scott pops up to his feet. 

DDK:
The D, with a kick to the gut - caught by Scott Douglas!

Douglas swings the caught leg and sends The D spinning about before throwing a clothesline of his own and it’s ducked by The D.

Angus:
Slippery bastard!

Douglas follows through with the momentum and hits the closest ropes, returning The D attempts hip toss but it is blocked. On the other side, Scott attempts one of his own but The D blocks it, as well. Scott, still arm locked with The D throws a kick, the D drops his head and hooks Douglas’ leg. The D digs deep and lifts, sending Douglas flipping up and over. The responds with yet another clothesline but Sub Pop ducks it and grabs a waist lock before --

DDK:
GERMAN SUPLEX!

The D grabs his neck and writhes in pain as Scott returns to his feet. Rather than following up on The D, Scott approaches PCP’s corner and beckons Elise to get in the ring and settle their score. Elise is hardly entertained and waves him off. 

DDK:
Now this isn’t a good idea, don’t play into their strengths, Scott!

 

Scott returns The D, who is back to his feet near the ropes. Douglas leans in and shoots The D to the other side and on the return … Flex Kruger grabs Douglas’ ankle from the apron to the Faithful’s adamant disapproval.  

DDK:
Well we expected this!

Scott reaches down, over the top rope, to grab Flex but he can’t get a hold of him as Kruger backs away. Benny Doyle rushes over to warn off Flex from interference as Douglas locks up just in time for The D to rock him with a big boot. Scott collapses through the ropes, hitting the apron and rolling to the floor. Kerry Kuroyama rushes into the ring but Benny Doyle gets between The D and The Pacific Blitzkrieg. The D is obviously amused and eggs Kerry on, showcasing his chin and begging Kerry to hit him..

DDK:
Well this is just ridiculous!

Meanwhile, on the outside Flex Kruger has Scott Douglas hoisted up by his hair and jorts.

Angus:
I agree, Keebs! Pez Kroger shouldn’t exist much less be here in DEFIANCE!

Flex sends Douglas flying through time keeper into the guard rail. 

DDK:
OGHH! The numbers game is in full effect here! 

In the ring, Benny Doyle has finally ushered Kerry out onto the apron, but that’s just the opening the D needs to spit in his face. Kerry instantly rushes back into the ring as the D puts up fake fisticuffs. Doyle again has to push Kerry away from the action, as Elise directs traffic on the outside. Flex and Klein hold Scott Douglas up, and she just open palm slaps him across the face. 

Elise then barks toward Flex and Klein. Flex lifts Douglas up, tossing him up into a flapjack, of which Klein catches on the decline. Klein then starts to spin on the outside, Elise barely ducking from a boot to the face. After a few rotations, Klein throws Douglas into the awaiting arms of Flex Kruger, who locks in a bear hug, and then rams Douglas’ spine and lower back into the steel turnbuckle.

Elise climbs onto the apron as Benny Doyle finally turns around. He sees Douglas writhing on the ground, and Flex and Klein both winded, Klein a bit dizzy. He shouts at the two of them to get away, making sure they don’t get (further) involved in this match. Elise raises her hands in innocence. O-Face is standing over Douglas and cackles like a hyena into his face. Doyle, making the best assumption he can…

DDK:
Benny Doyle just ejected O-Face!

Angus:
Wrong douchebag, Doyle!

O-Face shrieks out “NO!” and starts stomping her feet. Elise tags herself in as the D slides out of the ring. The B movie director grasps O-Face around the waist and whispers into her ear, trying to calm her. It doesn’t appear to work, as O-Face starts to kick and scrawl, trying to climb into the apron and get at Benny Doyle.

Doyle, for his credit, stands his ground and even laughs at the waifish heroin addict framed form of O-Face.

The cameras get in close as the D holds O-Face back.

The D:
Not the time O. Let’s save all this emotion for the after party, and then the after after party in our hotel room. FIVE STARS. Promise.

O-Face snarls, relenting. It only lasts a moment as when the D loosens his grip she instinctively goes feral again. The D has to actually pick her up and start walking to the entrance ramp. 

Meanwhile, Elise Ares is just front mounted Douglas and rains punches down onto him.

DDK:
Nobody ever said this was going to be a technical masterpiece.

Angus:
It will be a masterclass in fuckery taught by nitwits.

DDK:
Oh God. I just heard O-Face’s scream and I think it damaged my ear drums.

Angus:
It’s like she’s a dog whistle. I hope that’s not her O-scream … if you know what I mean, Keebs!

DDK:
I don’t.

We all know what he means as Elise Ares hops off the apron and then tosses Douglas back into the ring. Upon following behind she’s obstructed by Benny Doyle, who begins administering a warning to the former SoHER. Elise holds her arms up into the air and rubs her boot across his face, sending DEFIANCE’s Favorite Son into a rage. He jumps up and is immediately tripped by Flex Kruger while Benny Doyle continues on with his lecture to Elise. She runs by and kicks Scott Douglas across the side of the head before pulling him back into the corner. Seatied now, Ares begins to rain down stomps before The D tags himself in!

DDK:
Oh lord… not this crap again!

The D jumps over the top rope and begins to stomp on Douglas before Elise tags herself back in and does the same. The Blacklist continues as The D takes his turn, then Elise again. Although she’s just a little late on the draw and Scott Douglas explodes out of the corner and turns Elise inside out with a clothesline before collapsing in the middle of the ring. The crowd erupts into cheers as Kerry Kuroyama begins stomping for support on the apron.

The D turns around, shocked, and shouts toward the ring

The D:
CHEATER!

Douglas begins crawling to his corner, Elise just rolls to hers. Douglas with a dive and a hot tag. Kerry charges the ring, expecting Elise to reach out and tag in the D and finally get what he’s wanted. But the D slips off the apron, grabs Elise and pulls her completely out of the ring to boos. The D begins to tend to Elise’s jaw.

The D:
Did he hurt your money maker? I’ll KILL him if we need to do reshoots!

Elise Ares:
No… no… I’ll… be okay. I just need you to…

She watches as Kerry storms towards her.

Elise Ares:
STOP HIMMMMMMM!!!!

Kerry Kuroyama goes flying over the top rope, The D looks up and at the last second shoves Elise Ares out of the way and takes the full force of the suicide dive. Now finding herself in Flex’s arms, she watches as Kerry pulls himself up off the floor by the barricade to the roar of the Faithful. It doesn’t take long for the Pacific Blitzkrieg to notice her and she takes off as fast as she can.

Angus:
Catch her! 

Kerry gives chase, not losing any ground to the especially speedy Ares. She rounds the first corner, slowly losing ground to the angered Kerry. Around the second corner she tries to sweep the leg of Scott Douglas on the apron but Douglas hops out of the way! Kuroyama grows closer as they round the third corner. Flex Kruger gets into position as Kerry is just a few feet away from Elise, rounding the last corner… but Kerry jumps up onto the stairs and launches himself feet first at Flex Kruger, dropkick him in the chest and knocks him into the barricade. 

DDK:
Kerry has seen enough! He’s not falling for that trick.

Angus:
He’s going to have to pull his boots out of Flex’s chest after that one.

Elise meanwhile has dove into the ring and is pleading with Benny Doyle to count Kerry Kuroyama out of the match, but instead he throws out Flex Kruger who is pulling himself out of a heap next to the barricade. The D immediately jumps up onto the apron to protest, and immediately is joined by Klein who does everything The D does but two seconds later. Kuroyama pulls The D off the apron and he lands chin first onto the apron. Klein does the same.

DDK:
Flex Kruger is out of here! See ya later!

Angus:
Throw them all out already Doyle! I’ve got a continental breakfast in the morning I don’t want to miss.

Kerry dives into the ring, and Elise goes to hit him with a yakuza kick but misses. Kuroyama jumps to his feet and begins chopping the holy hell out of the Queen of Sports Entertainment Style, backing her into the ropes where he just continues to unload. She ducks into the ropes for a break, but before Benny Doyle can save her Kerry yanks her loose and throws her over his head with a huge german suplex!

Angus:
That’s funny, I don’t remember Germany being in the Pacific!

Elise stumbles up to her feet and eats another! And another! On the fourth stumble, Kerry throws her but Ares lands on a three point stance superhero style. The crowds’ cheers temporarily stop as The D and Klein begin clapping loudly, screaming in victory before Kerry lands a stiff kick right into Ares’ jaw and she just slumps to the mat. He quickly pounces on her for the pin!

ONE!

TWO!

TH… KICKOUT!

Elise manages to escape at the last moment, much to the chagrin of the Faithful. Kerry locks in a headlock, and stares daggers toward the D. The D starts climbing onto the bottom rope and then the middle, as Benny Doyle rushes over and ushers him down.  Kerry keeps the pressure on but never unlocks eyes from The D. After a few moments, Elise starts to fight back, pushing to her feet. Kerry transitions into a side headlock, and drags her back into Seattle territory. Tag in to Douglas, who catches her with a stiff kick to her ribs. Douglas then grabs Elise and hurls her into the corner. 

Douglas raises his hand high for the Faithful and knife edge chops Elise across the chest. The sound echoes. Douglas then does it again, before catching her with a forearm strike, and then starts to rotate between the two. Douglas reaches out and tags Kerry back in, who catches Elise with a stiff corkscrew elbow, and then a back elbow, and then a shoulder tackle to the gut. Elise clutches her midsection and then charges out, looking for the tag but Kerry tackles her with a side roll up into a school boy.

One.

Two.

Elise barely kicks out. Kerry is up, waiting for her to get to her feet. When she does.

CRACK.

DDK:
Running palm strike, straight to the chest!

Angus:
What an ample palm strike.

DDK:
Angus.

Angus:
What?

Elise tumbles like a ton of bricks, clutching her chest. The D is having none of it in the corner, and climbs into the ring. He shouts at Doyle, as Benny stands in his way and shoves him back into the corner.

Meanwhile, Klein pulls Douglas off the apron, causing Scott to smash his jaw against it. Klein then lifts Douglas and drops him throat first across the barricade. Klein rushes up onto the apron, only for Kerry to hit him with a flying judo chop to the neck. Klein tumbles off the apron, but this is long enough for Elise to recover. Kuroyama turns around, and a bright pink mist FLIES into his face. The D quickly acquieses and leaves the ring.

DDK:
Oh come on!

Angus:
What the hell is that? Is that… glitter?

Indeed, it’s not only a blinding powder, but it’s filled with glitter which stains Kerry’s face. Kerry swings blindly, only for Elise to do a go behind into a bulldog, center of the ring. She turns over the blinded Kerry for a pin

One.

Two.

Kerry authoritatively kicks out. Elise quickly dives on herself for a side headlock, and mimicking Kerry earlier, turns to Douglas and starts to jaw jack toward him, just as he recovers onto the apron. The D cheers her on from the corner. 

DDK:
Elise is definitely trying to ground the fast Kerry. To drain a bit of energy from him before maybe the D enters and picks up the pieces.

Angus:
Oh, these two definitely have a gameplan. It makes sense to suck the life out of the Faithful before they take it out of Starbuck’s Best!

Elise wrenches the hold in further, but Kerry starts fighting to his feet. Wide eyed and shocked, Kerry fights back and then catches Elise with a belly to back suplex. Elise reaches out just before she’s slammed and tags in the D. Kerry rolls on top of Elise, not knowing, as The D rushes in, places his boot on the back of Kerry’s skull and BOOT STOMPS him into the canvas. The D then rushes over and sucker punches Douglas off the apron. He takes a moment to look at his handiwork, muttering something before rushing onto the pin.

One.

Two.

Kerry gets a shoulder up. Benny ushers a groggy Elise out of the ring to her corner. Once she does, the D rushes over and tags her back in.

DDK:
No rest for the wicked Angus.

Angus:
I guess the D doesn’t even want to face a worn down K-Cups, Keebs. I don’t blame him.

DDK:
Kerry wants his head.

Angus:
Which one?

DDK:
God I’m glad we’re on pay per view.

Elise climbs into the ring, a little confused. She turns to the D, and tags him back in. The D throws his arms out to his side, confused. The two start to argue a bit, just as Klein hops onto the apron. He has a hand crafted card… an “Anniversary Card.”

Elise just frowns as the D, who returns her confused glare.

The D reassures Klein that “mommy and daddy aren’t arguing, just as Kerry reaches out and tags in Scott Douglas. Douglas hits the ring on fire, catching Elise with a high angle dropkick. The D turns and eats an arm drag. Elise up and eats one herself. Both members of PCP to their feet, DOUBLE DROPKICK from Sub Pop sends both outside of the ring. Scott off the far side, double baseball slide sends both Elise and the D sprawling into the guardrail with a thud.

Kerry climbs over to Douglas, who stands on the apron now. The two look at each other, and with a simple nod.

DDK:
DOUBLE ASAI MOONSAULTS! The PCP are down and the Faithful are on their FEET!

Douglas and Kerry both land on their feet. They each grab one member of PCP. Kerry tosses in the D and follows in. As Douglas tries to do the same to Elise, Klein grabs his arm. Douglas turns, with a tug, only for Elise to low blow him. Elise then rushes into the ring as the D is thrown off the far ropes. As the D returns, he spins in a crescent kick as Elise catches Kerry with a Superman punch.

DDK:
DRIVE BY AT THE ROXY! THAT’S IT! The PCP have DONE IT!

Elise drops down on top of Kerry, as the D climbs out of the ring.

But Benny Doyle refuses the count the pin as Kerry Kuroyama is not the legal man.

Klein slides into the ring, and starts his OWN count.

One.

Two.

Benny stops his hand from coming down a third time. Klein stands to his feet, shouting at Benny. Benny returns the shouts. Klein pulls off his PCP 4 EVER shirt revealing a referee’s shirt. Benny Doyle grabs the shirt material and stretches it shaking his head no. Klein nods, and starts clapping his hand one two three.

So Benny Doyle just throws him out.

The Faithful cheer, as Klein stands there wide eyed. He shouts no, pointing to his chest, and then pointing to the back.

DDK:
Is… Is Klein trying to throw out Benny Doyle?

Elise, confused, gives up the pin and stands to begin pitching her own fit.

Angus:
I… It wouldn’t surprise me.

DDK:
Benny Doyle has just thrown Klein out of this match, and we might finally get a fair two on two tag match here Angus! If only Klein would listen!

Kerry rolls toward the apron amongst the commotion. 

Angus:
He somehow thinks he has authority. It’s strange. And peculiar. And it used to be somewhat charming.

Doyle again motions for Klein to be thrown out, where Klein then motions back the same for Doyle. This goes on, two more times, with the Faithful Booing when Klein does it but cheering when Benny does it. 

With the attention firmly set on Kelin and Doyle, a somewhat recovered Scott Douglas has painstakingly made his way back in the ring. 

Angus:
GET THAT Z LISTER SCOTTY! 

Elise senses someone behind her and turns as Douglas swings a labored clothesline that she ducks easily before leaping and delivering her superman punch.

DDK:
Amethstation! 

Douglas hits the mat hard and Elise makes the cover. Doyle and Klein break from their back and forth and both having now noticed the pin attempt; Doyle looks at Klein. Klein looks at Doyle. They both look back at the pin and finally Doyle’s sense of duty takes over and he drops down for the count. Klein takes this as a victory and bails out of the ring.

ONE! 

TW --

DDK:
KICKOUT!

But with all that delay, Douglas is able to kick out, roll away from Elise and toward his corner. Although, he does not find Kerry there, ready for the tag, as he is still laid out on the ring apron. Sub Pop slams his fists on the mat trying to wake up The Pacific Blitzkrieg, who begins to stir. The Faithful get behind Douglas, clapping and stomping along as Kerry begins to stir on the apron. The Pacific Blitzkrieg pulls himself up to a seating position and makes eye contact with Douglas and reaches out his arm.

Angus:
I don’t know if K-Cups is any fresher than Douglas, but Scott needs out of there in a bad way!

DDK:
Kerry looks to be catching a second wind though, Angus. He’s gathering his thoughts back, you can see the fire in his eyes!

Elise grabs the boot of Sub Pop and tries to drag him back into the middle of the ring, but she’s shoved off with all of his might. Scott rolls around and lunges towards Kuroyama, just a second before he vanishes off the apron. 

DDK:
No!

Douglas’ mouth drops agape as he sees The D standing over his tag team partner now outside of the ring, and doesn’t even have time to react as his wrists are grabbed inside the ring and he’s partially lifted up off the mat.

DDK:
Extreme Makeover!!

Angus:
It can end a lot of ways, Keebs, but it can’t end like this! Not with Elise over Scott.

The Queen of Sports Entertainment Style rolls Scott Douglas over and hooks the leg.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

The Faithful are stunned as the last hand hits the ground, leaving The D to jump high into the air in celebration.

DING! DING! DING!

The D dives under the bottom rope and embraces his Pop Culture Partner as the rhythmic sounds of Krewella drain out the boos from the crowd. Benny Doyle lifts their arms into the air in victory. 

DDK:
The Pop Culture Phenoms are back together and looks like they’re back to where they started… winning in simply unbelievable situations.

Angus:
And it only took FIVE PEOPLE to do it.

DDK:
We don’t need to respect their tactics… and we certainly don’t, but we can’t just brush aside their resolve and their ability to win in even the worst situations.

Angus:
I don’t need to respect anything. I STRONGLY disrespect them and everything they stand for. If they pack up tonight and go back to Hollywood, it would be the happiest day of my entire life, Keebs.

DDK:
I know it sucks, but there’s a lot more wrestling going on tonight, Angus. Maybe something will come along that’ll change your mind.

Angus:
It’ll have to be pretty GORRAM amazing, I’ll tell you that right now. I’m in a FOUL mood after that

Darren Quimbey:
This match is for one fall and for the Southern Heritage Championship! 

The Faithful give a cheer as the camera pans to a piano and pianist placed beside the entrance, underneath the DEFiatron.  

♫ "Funeral Music" by Chopin ♫ 

Darren Quimbey:
Introducing first, the challenger… the FORMER BRAZEN CHAMPION, he is the “The LOST Cause”, Victor VACIOOOOOOOOOOO!

Finally, Vacio emerges from the curtain to a loud ovation. Although considered a despised individual on the BRAZEN roster, it didn’t take long for The Faithful to support him over Gage Blackwood. Known for his strong work-rate, the fans know he will bring it to the champion.

Vacio glances at the piano man briefly and musters a light scoff, before making his way down the ramp while the ominous theme booms from the baby grand. “The Lost Cause” enters the ring and awaits his opponent.

It takes a good thirty seconds for Blackwood’s theme to blare on the PA.

♫ "Unstoppable" by Dansonn ♫

Darren Quimbey:
His opponent, being accompanied by Gunther Adler and Shooter Landell… he is the CURRENT Southern Heritage Champion. He is GAGE BLACKWOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Like Quimbey said, Blackwood comes out with Adler and Landell behind him. Title around his waist, Blackwood sports his typical wrestling attire with one difference in the tights, a gold line goes down the side of each leg and the letters “SOHER” are across the back of his boots. He wears the trademark “WHAT HAVE A DONE FOR YOU LATELY?” t-shirt, with the names of all the DEFIANCE wrestlers he’s beaten crossed out on the back. Adler and Landell make sure to show the camera Victor Vacio’s name has not only been added to the list but it’s already been crossed out. Blackwood seems indifferent and doesn’t care. He slides into the ring, leaving Adler and Landell behind him. He takes his championship belt off, throws his t-shirt down and gets right into Victor’s face.

Doyle runs down the rules. Only Vacio is listening and maybe that’s because he struggles with English.

Angus:
Let's get this thing started! I can’t wait!

DING DING

Blackwood goes right after Vacio with a head-full of steam but Vacio side-steps him and Blackwood goes into the ropes. The SoHer turns around and receives a fist for his troubles and then VV Irish whips the champion into the ropes across the way. He hits Blackwood with a springboard dropkick, sending the Scot out of the ring!

Blackwood slams his hands on the floor, clearly pissed off. He gets onto the apron but Vacio hits a springboard back elbow this time and knocks Blackwood to the floor again!

DDK:
The challenger is starting this match strong!

Angus:
I would hope so. The idiot gave up his title for this opportunity!

Vacio leaps onto the top rope without having to go up the first or second buckle. He thinks he has Blackwood not looking but the second he jumps off, he runs right into a superkick from Gage!

The SMACK echoes throughout the arena! The Faithful are stunned at the sudden impact. Blackwood glances over to his entourage and grins. The champion takes VV by his mask and hurls him into the steel stairs. Knowing the ten count is on, Blackwood throws Vacio back into the ring. He turns to the crowd.

Gage Blackwood:
Did you see that!? I’m a fighting champion… no count-out victories for me! And yet, you baw jugglers STILL boo me!?

Angus:
He has a point.

Blackwood gets onto the apron but as he enters the ring Vacio gets a second wind and kicks him square in the face! Vacio follows with a DDT off the second rope and then readjusts his mask from the superkick.

DDK:
Looks like Vacio’s okay after that hellacious kick!

Vacio bounces off the ropes and lands a rolling leg drop to Gage. He takes the champion and hurls him into the corner, runs off the ropes and this time connects with a flying forearm! The Faithful get behind Vacio as he looks to inflict more punishment. He takes Blackwood’s right arm and tucks it behind his back. He pulls on the arm in order to work Blackwood back to a standing position and then tosses The SoHer into the corner. Blackwood hits the buckle hard and bounces off, into an arm drag takedown and then an arm lock by the challenger.

DDK:
Gotta like the start from Victor. You have to wonder if Blackwood came in a little too confident!

Gunther Adler and Shooter Landell cheer Blackwood on as he tries to break free but cannot. Vacio keeps the hold locked in. “The Lost Cause” even runs up the ropes to make sure he has a good grip and position on Gage.

The fans cheer VV while Blackwood continues trying to break free. Blackwood yells at referee Benny Doyle if the arm lock is even legal, in which Doyle ensures that it is and Blackwood swears at him in hard to understand Scottish slang.

The champion tries to fire back with his left arm but can’t reach Vacio. Adler yells to Victor from the outside that once Blackwood breaks free he’s going to “kill him”.

Finally, Blackwood throws a hard left elbow back and even though it hits Vacio, he thinks on his feet and spins Blackwood around, crushing him with a facebuster!

Vacio raises his arms to get the crowd going. He goes off the ropes and lands a perfectly executed dropkick to the face of the champion!

DDK:
We’ve seen Blackwood do that same dropkick numerous times to Titus Campbell, putting him in the hospital with a serious concussion. You have to wonder if that was some form of payback! BRAZEN guy supporting BRAZEN guy.

Angus:
Doubt it.

Vacio goes into the ropes and looks for another dropkick to the face but this time Blackwood moves! Before VV can get off the mat, Blackwood plants Vacio with an elbow to the back of the head! Vacio crashes down immediately and grabs the back of his neck.

Angus:
This is the opening our champ needs!

Blackwood takes VV by the back of his mask, ensuring it is done in a very disrespectful way. He pulls at the mask, forcing Vacio to get on his feet in a hurry or else the mask might get ripped off. Blackwood shoves Vacio into the corner and comes charging in…

“The Lost Cause” moves! Blackwood goes chest-first into the buckle and bounces out…

Into a drop toe hold, elbow to the back of Blackwood’s own head and then a release German suplex to the middle of the canvas! The Faithful give a cheer.

DDK:
Vacio has been very quick to turn the tables in this one each time the situation calls for it.

Vacio latches onto Blackwood again and looks for a second release German suplex. At first, Blackwood fights to the ropes but Vacio elbows The SoHer in the back of the head and connects with a second release German suplex! Furious, Blackwood is quick to his feet and without thinking comes straight at Vacio…

Another drop toe hold. Another elbow to the back of Blackwood’s head.

Vacio stands and takes in the cheers. He goes into the ropes but before he can hit whatever he’s looking for Blackwood gives him such a hard elbow to the head that spit goes flying from the challenger’s mouth and he falls to the mat in a hurry! The WHACK could be heard throughout the entire arena and Vacio lays cluelessly on the canvas floor.

Angus:
Yeah, I was right! THIS was the opening Blackwood needs!

DDK:
Didn’t you say that two minutes ago?

Blackwood strolls over to Vacio, trying to collect himself. He bends down and picks the BRAZEN star up-

WHACK!

He’s met with a Vacio left leg into the side of his face! Spit files from Blackwood’s mouth this time as Vacio leaps to his feet, hits the ropes and comes in with a hurricanrana! The momentum of the move puts Blackwood right back on his feet, however. This isn’t a problem for the challenger, though…

DDK:
Vacio kicks Blackwood once, twice…

Blackwood catches Vacio’s foot the third time.

WHACK!

DDK:
Enziguri!

Vacio keeps it going. He knows the stage he’s on and he also knows what he gave up to get this match. Vacio hits Blackwood with a few pele kicks and then hurls him into the ropes. He hip tosses Blackwood to the middle of the ring, drops the leg once, twice, three times and goes back to working the right arm of Gage.

DDK:
He’s got another arm lock on the champion… 

Angus:
Hey now, if there’s one thing Blackwood can do, it’s take a beating and act like nothing ever happened.

Blackwood slams the mat but makes sure to tell the referee it wasn’t for tapping out, it’s out of frustration. He fights to one knee and throws a left hand at Vacio, who still has the hold locked in. Before Blackwood can do more damage, Vacio runs up the turnbuckle and crashes down on the mat with an axe handle smash to Gage’s back. Blackwood shouts out, Vacio rakes the back of the champion and then punts him right in the side of the head!

The Scot stumbles around but ultimately falls to the floor.

DDK:
This has been nothing but hard-hitting!

Vacio lifts the champion to his knees. He proceeds to start kicking Blackwood in the chest time after time, until The Faithful are gaining momentum with their cheers and Blackwood’s chest has turned red.

Vacio is about ten kicks in before he stops, spins around to gain even more momentum and hits Blackwood so hard not only does spit come out of his mouth but Blackwood flies a good foot or two backwards.

VV does not pin, however. Instead he shouts to the crowd and goes into the ropes. That’s when he’s tripped up by Gunther Adler.

The Faithful jeer loudly! Benny Doyle sees this, however and wastes no time in tossing Adler and Landell from ringside!

Angus:
What the hell!?

DDK:
And that’s the way it should be! Those two idiots should have never been here in the first place!

Fuming, Adler argues with Benny Doyle that he’s done nothing. Shooter Landell also argues he’s done nothing and while that’s technically true, replay shows he told Adler to do it since he was a lot closer to Victor.

Meanwhile, Gage Blackwood collects himself and gets to a knee. Vacio hasn’t turned around just yet.

Adler and Landell continue to make a statement before walking towards the ramp and leaving for good.

Angus:
Benny Doyle should be fired!

DDK chooses to let that comment slide.

DDK:
Vacio, you better turn around…

Blackwood is up and comes charging in…

WHAAAAAMMM!

DDK:
Vacio hits Blackwood with a spinning elbow smash! Where we typically see the match turn Gage’s favour, it hasn’t! Vacio is still in control!

Angus:
Bollocks!

Vacio drags Blackwood’s limp body to the middle of the ring. He points to the top and jumps right back on the turnbuckle. It takes him a moment to position the champion… he jumps…

Right into the waiting arms of Blackwood who connects with a powerslam and a pinfall attempt!

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

KICKOUT!

Angus:
Oh my, that was a close call!

The Faithful bought into the near fall, too. They give a sigh of relief as Blackwood rolls onto his back and tries to recover from the beating.

DDK:
You could tell Blackwood pulled that one out at the last second. It was clearly all he had in that moment!

Angus:
Because Blackwood is a FIGHTER!

Blackwood crawls to the ring ropes. He uses them to get on his feet. He turns to see Vacio charging towards him but at the last second he drops down and holds the top rope with him. Vacio flies out of the ring and smacks the guardrail on the outside! The crowd cringes at the sight of seeing this and Vacio looks to be hurt!

DDK:
Damn that was an impact landing!

Angus:
Blackwood, always pulling one out at the last possible second!

It takes Blackwood a moment to recover. Finally able to stand without help, Blackwood surveys his surroundings. He notices Adler and Landell are gone from ringside. He sees “The Lost Cause” laid out on the floor below him. And he knows there’s an opportunity.

Blackwood jumps onto the top rope, in the middle of the ring and without warning comes crashing down on Vacio with a suicide splash!

Blackwood hits the guardrail too, although most of the impact is absorbed through the challenger. It takes to the count of FIVE before anyone can stir but Blackwood is the first to his feet. He pulls Vacio by his mask again and works him near the ring post.

DDK:
Blackwood Irish whips Vacio into the post!

With the count at EIGHT, Blackwood looks up at Benny Doyle and sighs. He rolls into the ring and rolls right back out. Similar to the beginning of the match, Blackwood turns towards The Faithful.

Gage Blackwood:
What do you want from me? I EXTENDED this match! I am doing everything right!

The fans continue to boo.

Angus:
He IS right, you know. Gage Blackwood is a standup guy and our fighting champion!

DDK:
For the hundredth time, Angus, he isn’t. You think because he does the odd “good” thing here and there, it makes him endearing? He’s done nothing but bitch and complain since returning from injury. He’s taken cheap shots at everyone he’s faced. Just because he does the “right” thing once or twice… it doesn’t excuse his previous behavior. Just you wait, he’ll break the rules soon enough.

Angus:
You’re so delusional.

Blackwood fires a left fist into Vacio’s head. He takes him and then pounds VV’s head off the steel stairs.

Angus:
And I assume you’re going to tell me that’s crossing the line?

DDK:
Not exactly.

Vacio tries to throw a punch but Blackwood ducks it. He whips Vacio to the turnbuckle across the way but at the very last second it’s reversed! Blackwood goes face-first into the black pipe! The Faithful shout in support of the former BRAZEN champion as he comes rushing in and lands another spinning back elbow to the face of Gage!

DDK:
“The Lost Cause” is fighting back!

Looking to Irish whip Blackwood into the guardrail across the way, it’s Blackwood who reverses it this time and Vacio goes into the guardrail!

Angus:
No, it’s BLACKWOOD who’s fighting back!

With the count at SEVEN, Blackwood rolls into the ring and back out again. He takes one deep breath and charges towards the challenger, screaming all the way down…

WHAAAAACK!!!

“HOLY SHIT!”
“HOLY SHIT!”
“HOLY SHIT!”

DDK:
MY GOD! GAGE BLACKWOOD JUST HIT VICTOR VACIO WITH THE GAELIC STORM!

Indeed, Blackwood did. He hit Vacio so hard it split the guardrail chain apart from one another, opening it up and throwing both Vacio and Blackwood into the crowd! It’s clear BOTH men are down, even though replay shows Vacio head takes the impact extremely hard.

Angus:
Gotta love it! He can take a beating and GIVE a beating! The TRUE champion, that’s for sure!

Benny Doyle exits the ring and checks on both competitors while maintaining his count. It’s at FIVE.

Replays of the jumping double-knee smash play from all angles on the TWIX DEFCON replay screen.

DDK:
That’s some real impact there. If Blackwood can recover and get Vacio into the ring, this might be over. No one has kicked out of The Gaelic Storm yet.

Angus:
And no one ever will!

Doyle’s count is at SEVEN. Finally, Blackwood gets to one knee.

It takes a count of EIGHT for Blackwood to grab Vacio by his arm and slowly drag him towards the ring.

At NINE, they arrive at the apron.

RIGHT BEFORE Doyle arrives at a TEN count, Blackwood lifts the challenger and rolls him into the ring. He follows.

Angus:
And you SEE. That right there is why Blackwood should be adored by these people! He doesn’t lose the title if this match ends in a count out! He’s stopped the TEN count, like, four times already!

DDK:
You’re right about that. However, if he doesn’t stop the countout, he loses his undefeated pay-per-view streak, does he not?

Angus:
…

DDK:
You know, the one he’s recently been so vocal about?

Angus:
…

DDK:
Guess I got you there, huh?

Angus:
No, just give me some time to find a better reply.

DDK:
Yeah, I got you.

By now, Blackwood has recovered. He looks down at Vacio and thinks about a pin but decides against it. Instead, he slowly gets to his feet and contemplates what to do next.

DDK:
I will say this. Vacio said he likes giving out beatings. Blackwood is similar. This match has only had one pinfall attempt and I wonder when it will get another… 

Angus:
I can’t see anyone going for a pin unless they really think the match should be won.

Blackwood puts his hands on his hips. It looks like he’s decided what to do next. He drags Vacio by his mask again and positions him into a suplex…

1.) Snap suplex.
2.) Delayed vertical suplex.
3.) Rolling release suplex.

AKA The Scottish Trinity.

This is followed by The Midlothian Hangover!

DDK:
Unbelievable! Blackwood looks to have won!

The champion props Vacio on his knees. He’s calling for the end and another Gaelic Storm.

Angus:
END IT NOW, BABAY!

Blackwood screams and comes rushing in…

SMA- WHOOOOSH!!

DDK:
VACIO ROLLS OUTTA THE WAY! I DON’T KNOW HOW HE DID IT!

The only reason Blackwood remains in the ring is that; the ropes catch him before he flies out of it! Vacio gets a shocking second wind! He sprints towards Blackwood and dropkicks him out of the squared circle this time. VV goes to the ropes and performs a sunset flip over the top and onto Gage Blackwood!

Vacio shoots to his feet and then collapses right back down, given the beating he took moments ago!

Doyle, again, administers a count.

DDK:
Vacio needs this time to recover, that’s for sure!

Angus:
I don’t know how he did it. I don’t like the guy anymore since he decided to go after MY BOY Gage Blackwood… but I will say, these two are eerily similar!

Doyle is at a count of SEVEN before Vacio takes Blackwood and shoves him back into the ring.

“The Lose Cause” follows but he goes to the top rope.

DDK:
VACIO LEAPS-

SMACK!

DDK:
RIGHT INTO A SUPERKICK BY GAGE! This one was even more impactful than the one he hit earlier in the match!

Vacio falls in a heap! Blackwood crashes back down, too! It’s anyone’s game as The Faithful start to rally behind the match, stomping their feet and cheering the challenger on!

DDK:
Blackwood is… up! Vacio is… up! Vacio ducks a left hand! Vacio ducks a left elbow! Vacio throws Blackwood into the ropes but the champion catches the challenger in mid-air and hits a crucifix drop to a chorus of boos! The SoHer rises, looking to end this thing for good! He bounces off the ropes and ANOTHER GAELIC STORM ATTEMPT MISSES!!!

Blackwood smacks into the ropes. Vacio rises and lands a twisting springboard dropkick, planting the Scot in the middle of the ring! Then he connects with a split-legged moonsault from the second rope, done similarly like a lionsault.

“The Lost Cause” shouts for the end. He goes to the top rope and calls for his finisher, The Causa Perdida (Shooting Star Press)!

DDK:
VACIO IS MEASURING BACKWOOD… LOOK OUT BELOW!!!

BAM!!!!!

DDK:
OH MY GOD, GAGE BLACKWOOD HIT VACIO WITH THE GAELIC STORM IN MID-AIR!!!

Vacio’s out cold. The air in the arena is sucked out immediately!

Angus:
YES YES YES YES YES!

Blackwood pulls Vacio to his knees. He bounces off the ropes…

GAELIC STORM.

ONE.

 

 

 

TWO.

 

 

 

THREE.

DING DING DING

The Faithful boo but some of them clap in show of support for the uncompromising battle between Blackwood and Vacio.

Darren Quimbey:
The winner of this match and STILL the Southern Heritage Champion… GAAAAAAGE BLACKWOOD!

♫ "Unstoppable" by Dansonn ♫

Doyle hands Blackwood the title as the champion remains on his knees. He looks down at Vacio, who is out cold in the center of the ring and his mask is twisted over his face. Blackwood brushes his hair back, revealing the trademark scar on his forehead is bleeding just a tiny little bit. He takes a moment to glance at his title and then stands. He’s greeted by Gunther Adler and Shooter Landell on the rampway, giving him a “standing ovation”. Blackwood doesn’t seem to care. Instead, the champion continues to contemplate things.

Angus:
And that’s all she wrote. The idiot Victor Vacio is left with nothing. He threw away his BRAZEN title for a chance at the SOHER and now, he’s lost the match, too.

DDK:
Please. I think it was extremely admirable what Victor did. It was a HUGE Bet on Yourself moment. He came up short, yes, but he put in one hell of a battle here tonight!

Blackwood walks over to the fallen Vacio again. Adler and Landell start mimicking throwing punches and beating him up some more. Blackwood sees what his henchmen are doing and thinks about it for a second. However, he just spits down on Vacio’s mask which ensures The Faithful boo him even louder. Then he leaves the ring and walks up the ramp.

Angus:
Gage Gage Gage, OUR fighting champion! What a show! And you were wrong, Keebs. He DIDN’T cheat to win tonight. He didn’t need to!

DDK:
I will admit in this case, I was wrong. I never said Blackwood isn’t a great wrestler. Far from it. It’s just that his priorities are a little… uh, messed up these days.

Angus:
Undefeated on pay-per-view. Southern Heritage Champion. One of the most feared guys on the roster. I think he’s doing just fine.

Blackwood gets to the top of the ramp while Adler and Landell pat him on the shoulders. The camera is positioned in front of the entranceway, showing the ramp and the ring behind Gage. In a similar fashion to other shows, Blackwood doesn’t look back. Instead, he just pauses, soaks in the jeers and vanishes behind the curtain.

DDK:
Well, Angus, we have two matches left tonight and this next one is a big one. The Stevens Dynasty are looking to continue their record-setting Unified Tag Title reign. They have unified those belts with the World Trios Championships and are now looking to defend against the unlikely team of “The Titan of Industry” Uriel Cortez…

Angus:
PRESENTED BY THE FAMILY KEELING!

DDK:
And “The Sky High Kid” Minute. These two fought and seemed to form an unlikely bond, and from there, they won a battle royale and defeated The Fuse Bros 360 in the same night to win the #1 contendership. They fought The Stevens Dynasty on DEFtv 131 for the titles, only for Bo to get them disqualified. Since they technically won that match, Executive Producer Kelly Evans has granted the rematch here tonight. The caveat for this match is that if The Stevens Dynasty get disqualified or counted out, they lose the titles! No champions advantage to hide behind.

Angus:
That’s all true, but it don’t mean shit unless THE HOSS Overlord and The Littlest Flippy-Doo work as a team more consistently than they have been. That inbred assbag, Bo Stevens, won that match with Minute on 132 because they used their numbers. And that’s why they’ve been Tag Champs for almost… ugh… close to 300 days. 

DDK:
We saw Thomas Keeling have enough of the in-fighting and miscommunications and has promised to have worked closely with BOTH Uriel and Minute, so we’ll see what kind of changes have been made and if they’ll be enough to win the Unified Tag Team Championships. Let’s go to Darren Quimbey for the intros to the next match!

The camera then pans to the ring with Darren Quimbey dressed in his finest for DEFCON 2020!

Darren Quimbey:
The following contest is a tag team match set for one fall and it is for the DEFIANCE Unified Tag Team Championships! Per the rules of this title match tonight, if The Stevens Dynasty attempt to get counted out or disqualified, then they will LOSE the championships!

The graphics for the combined championships appear on screen and a ROWDY crowd is ready to see what could be a hell of a match. 

Junior Keeling:
AHEM! The Family Keeling demands your attention!

The fans turn to ringside where out comes Junior Keeling, dressed like an actual adult for once instead of half-assing it. Dressed in a slick-looking navy blue business suit, the crowd actually cheers(?) for Junior. 

Junior Keeling:
Introducing first up, the brains of the outfit! My dad, Thomas Keeling!

Then Thomas Keeling makes his way out from the back in an identical suit with the crowd giving him a mostly positive response. A far cry from the last DEFCON where they originally 

Thomas Keeling:
Thank you, son. Ladies and gentlemen, they are polar opposites. One is a giant who blocks out the sky, standing at seven-foot one…

Junior Keeling (and the crowd):
AND A HALF!

Thomas Keeling:
And the other… NOW PRESENTED BY THE FAMILY KEELING… an exclusive you’ve heard here first! A man so fast, you’ll blink and you’ll miss him. One is a Titan of Industry. The other can soar to amazing heights among the titans. Introducing… 

Junior Keeling:
At a combined weight of 532 pounds… Please welcome making their debut as a proper tag team… “The Titan of Industry” Uriel Cortez! “The Sky High Kid” Minute! They are… THE SKY! HIGH! TITANS! 

The crowd started to buzz loudly as the lights went dark. The Lake Front Arena was bathed in darkness for moments with fans trying to light up their cell phones. 

Junior Keeling:
Please welcome… these men are doing a favor for a friend of our friend because The Family Keeling’s got those connections… El-P and Killer Mike… RUN! THE! JEWELS!

The crowd ERUPTS when two lights flash on stage… El-P and Killer Mike appear on the entrance at DEFIANCE’s biggest show of the year! The crowd goes crazy as the super duo get the crowd geared up. 

Angus:
Holy shit! The Keelings ARE connected! They’re here! 

DDK:
Their company represents not just wrestlers, but stars in other sports as well. I believe them when they say they know people that know people. 

♫ "Let’s Go (The Royal We)" by Run The Jewels ♫ 

As they belt out the lyrics, two new spotlights shine on stage. On the left is “The Sky High Kid” Minute, decked out in his black spiked luchador mask, along with a snazzy-looking business suit, complete with grin on his face. On the right, the GIANT form of “The Titan of Industry” Uriel Cortez, wearing the exact same business suit, along with a massive replica of the same mask of Minute. The two dap fists with El-P and Killer Mike before they head on down to the ring.

DDK:
Can you believe it?! Minute has officially signed with The Family Keeling and what’s more, he and Uriel Cortez LOOK like a team! Can that mindset finally lend itself to capturing both men’s first championships in DEFIANCE tonight?

Angus:
If The Littlest Flippy-Doo and The Titan of Industry can do just that tonight, then I think they’ll make my dreams come true and finally take the Unified Tag Team Titles off those fucking Stevenses!

Cortez steps onto the ring apron and then lifts the ropes open so Minute can slide through them and get into the ring. Cortez rips off his replica luchador mask and throws it into the crowd, then Minute leaps onto the top rope, then the corner rope, and then backflips into the ring… yes, all in his suit! The two men then meet in the middle and raise their fists in the air before the performance concludes! Both members of RTJ take a bow and then head backstage as The Family Keeling float around ringside. 

The lights in the arena begin to turn to a shade of gold and golden confetti begins to fall from the sky as

“Mouth is made of metal, metal, metal

Pocket full of yellow, yellow

Pocket full of gold

And I hope you find

I hope you find your dream, yeah”

Is heard over the PA system as

♫ "Gold” by Sir Sly ♫ 

Begins to kick in as the video screen lights up and shows an image of the Ace of DEFIANCE championship. The Tag Team championship and the Trios Championships.

DDK:
The Stevens Dynasty is going all out here tonight..

A single spotlight appears as the crowd boos as the sound of a guitar wails throughout the arena followed by a gunshot.

 

♫ "When the Smoke Clears" by Dale Oliver, Ducky Medlock and Bigg Vinny Mack.♫

 

The video screen shows three shadows and as they appear as George, Bo, and Scott along with Cary next to their respective titles and the Faithful begin to shower The Stevens Dynasty with boos.

 

DDK:
Whether you love them or hate them, The Stevens Dynasty continued to prove that they are the top tag team in DEFIANCE Wrestling as they hold the majority of the GOLD in DEFIANCE. You can call it the Stevens Era of DEFIANCE.

Angus:
Fuck that..

Cary looking spiffy in a shiny, golden jacket as he leads the charge while his son and nephew follow behind him as they appear on stage.

Angus:
And that fucker, I wish he would die already.

Cary blows kisses towards the crowd as Bo and George hold up the hardware as a golden waterfall of pyro falls down behind them.

DDK:
The Stevens Dynasty holding up the Tag and Trios championships proving to the world why they are the best tag team, period.

Darren Quimbey:
Being accompanied to the ring by Cary Stevens… from The Great State of Texas, weighing in at 702 pounds…THEY ARE YOU UNIFIED DEFIANCE OF WRESTLING TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! BO! AND GEORGE! THE STEEEEEEVEEEEEEENSSSS DYYYYYYYYYYNNNNNAAAAASSSSTTTYYYYY!”

Bo and George reach the end of the stage and make their way up the ring steps and once inside Bo and George go towards the center of the ring and hold their championships high in the air as fireworks explode from the turnbuckles while Cary is hyping up his boys.

DDK:
Here we go, Angus. The Unified Tag Team Titles up for grabs. Can The Stevens Dynasty continue their history making run or will the newly-minted Sky High Titans take the championships?

Angus:
If there’s a God in heaven, then yes. 

Hector Navarro raises the collection of World Tag Team and Trios Titles, then hands them off to an attendant at ringside. Minute and Bo Stevens are representing each team at ringside. Both look ready…

DING DING!

Bo Stevens IMMEDIATELY goes charging at the smaller Minute when he ducks, sending Bo crashing hard into the corner of The Sky High Titans! Minute ducks, then does a pair of front flips to wow the crowd, then waves his hand Bo to come at him (bro). He ducks again and then makes a QUICK tag to Uriel Cortez who comes in and mows Bo right over with a Running Shoulder Block! Minute runs at George on the apron with a Dropkick to his knee! The monster gets stunned as Uriel CRACKS George on the ring apron with a Big Boot sending him to the outside!

DDK:
Look at this! The Sky High Titans are already going on the attack! They’re all fired up and the crowd loves it!

George Stevens is barely able to stand when Uriel picks up Minute in a Press Slam… then THROWS him at George on the outside with the impact able to take down the massive powerhouse of The Stevens Dynasty! Cary looks like he’s about to shit a brick while on the outside, Junior and Thomas Keeling both cheer on the Titans. 

DDK:
Minute just took out George Stevens! And now Bo’s in the ring all alone with Bo!

Angus:
Oh yes, yes, yes, YES! Oh, God, yes!

Bo manages to get up, only to get hooked from behind and THROWN across the ring with the Atomic Throw! Bo goes crashing, then Uriel makes the tag to the returning Minute! The crowd is losing their mind as he goes to the top rope and then flies off with a HIGH impact Frog Splash so good, that he bounces off Bo’s twitching body! Minute then rolls over into the cover on Bo!

ONE!

TWO!

NO!

DDK:
GEORGE REACHES IN AND PULLS MINUTE OFF AT THE LAST SECOND!

In a rage, George tries to pull Minute out of the ring, but Uriel steps not only into action, but steps on George's hand until he helps free his grip on Minute! George snarls around ringside in a rage while Cary tries to calm him down. Junior and Thomas Keeling both laugh and watch on enjoying the show with the Titans in control of the match.

Uriel helps Minute up and then holds a hand out so he can make the tag. Both he and Minute pick up Bo Stevens and then shove him into the ropes. Cortez lifts Bo into the air and right into a leaping Dropkick from The Sky High Kid. Bo goes stumbling back into the ropes when Uriel comes off the ropes and SMACKS him with a massive Running Shoulder Tackle that sends him flying into the corner!

Angus:
Oh, my God I love this, hahaha! Suck it down, Bo, suck it down!

DDK:
This might be the loudest positive reception that Uriel Cortez has even received in DEFIANCE and he loves it. 

Indeed, the giant has a smile on his face as he drags Bo out of the corner, throws him into the corner of The Sky High Titans and tags into Minute. The luchador returns into the ring as Uriel holds Bo. He tries to fight his way out of the corner… 

THWACK!

DDK:
Good LORD! Chop of Ages! That Double-Handed Chop just caved in Bo’s chest! There’s no way he’s going to breathe right. 

Angus:
Promise?!

He crumbles over as Bo then grabs Minute and whips him into the corner with a Corner Missile Dropkick! The crowd cheers on the Titans for their great teamwork on display as Minute pulls Bo out of the corner and now goes for the cover and the Unified Tag Team Titles. 

ONE!

TWO!

NO!

DDK:
Bo gets the shoulder up and Minute is staying on the attack!

Angus:
Good, keep flippy-dooing that dumbass until they drop the belts!

Minute leans back and makes use of his educated high school feet and cracks Bo in the chest with several hard shots before turning back and cracking Bo in the mouth with a Spinning Back Elbow! Bo goes reeling backward and Minute hits the ropes to come back and hit him with a beautiful Springboard Corkscrew Moonsault right into the cover on Bo again!

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

DDK:
The Sky High Titans are really having their way with the Stevens Dynasty since this match began! These two have gelled incredibly well now that Minute is formally a part of The Family Keeling and they’re showing good double-teams. 

Angus:
They a… no! Stop him!

When Minute tries to stop Bo in his tracks, Bo catches him with desperation Seated Jawbreaker and then goes back to his corner where the tag is made to the mountain of a man in George Stevens. Minute stops in his tracks the second that George gets into the ring. Uriel reaches a hand out and wants the tag, but Minute looks up at his partner and motions that he’s got this. While Junior protests, Thomas holds a hand up and Uriel gives him the go ahead. 

DDK:
I don’t think that was wise… but Minute on the attack! He’s going right after the left leg of George with those feet of his!

Angus:
It’s like an ant against a tank!

The raucous Faithful get behind The TJ Tornado as he ducks a swinging arm from George to throw a volley of sharp kicks into his knees. George pushes him back and then goes for a low Big Boot, but Minute slides between his legs and then lands behind him. He goes to the ropes and tries for a Springboard Moonsault on the big man, but George catches him and doesn’t go anywhere. Minute kicks away and then slides behind him before landing on the ring apron. 

When George turns around, Minute leaps up the ropes and then cracks him between the eyes with a Leaping Enzuigiri from the ring apron. Minute then climbs to the top rope in a hurry and then goes flying with a Double Knee Strike…

CAUGHT!

DDK:
No! Minute caught…

Angus:
DAMN IT!

The crowd jeers now as Minute gets HURLED into the corner, smashed with a Bucklebomb! Minute crumbles and then slumps into the corner and that allows George to take over. He presses a boot down into the chest of Minute and lets out a growl as he has him pressed down in the corner. Minute howls in pain when Hector Navarro gets there and counts him down to stop choking him in the corner. Cary orders George to back off and he finally does.

DDK:
George is an amazing physical specimen and one of DEFIANCE’s most powerful forces.

Angus:
And one of the dumbest! The Stevens Dynasty gene pool needed a filter… or lots more chlorine. 

Minute tries to fight back when George pushes him back to his feet, only to CRUSH his chest with a hard Clubbing Forearm! Minute goes reeling but before he can do anything else, he HURLS Minute out of the corner with a massive Biel Throw. Minute goes hurting back and arches his back in pain. Cary Stevens yells at the Keelings on the other side of the ring. 

Cary Stevens:
THAT is why we’re the champs! 

Junior Keeling:
Eat a dick, Cary!

Angus:
It’s getting spicy down at ringside!

DDK:
That it is, but the action on the inside is what’s most important! We have a new set of Unified Tag Team Titles on the line tonight for the winner of this match and George has just turned the fortunes around for the Dynasty. 

Uriel Cortez watches on with concern for his tag team partner as George drags Minute back over to the corner at Cary’s insistence. George then STEPS right over his body and then makes the tag to a reeling and angry Bo Stevens. 

DDK:
And now Bo chomping at the bit to get into the ring. He REALLY wants to punish Minute. 

Angus:
And of course this sack of suck can only do it when The Littlest Flippy-Doo has been beaten down by that big derp, George. 

Bo picks up Minute and then throws a pair of right hands into his stomach before launching him into the ropes and then cracks him with a Running Back Elbow! Minute goes crumbling to the mat while Bo finally runs over to Uriel and taunts him by giving him the double tall man. Uriel doesn’t rise to the bait, but he does want to clock Bo. Bo turns over to Minute and then rips off his dress shirt before throwing it out of the ring, exposing his bare upper chest. 

Bo Stevens:
Bo knows you’re gonna get your little ass kicked! I already beat you once!

Bo slaps the back of Minute’s head with light slaps and paintbrushes him a bunch. Minute tries to fight back, but Bo moves out of the way before doubling over Minute with a kick to the gut. The TJ Tornado gets doubled over when Bo picks him up…

DDK:
Straight Outta Texas! That’s it!

Bo then goes into the cover after hitting the Double Leg Spinebuster!

ONE!

TWO!

NO!

The Faithful cheer on Minute as he fires the shoulder off the canvas, but an angry Bo goes to work and he unleashes a flurry of right hands across the masked face of the TJ Tornado. 

DDK:
Bo Stevens not forgetting about how he was embarrassed by The Sky High Titans at the start of this match. He’s continuing to punish him… oh, lord, now look at him mug for the fans. 

Sure enough, Bo Stevens is now standing over the body of Minute as he tries to recover, holding his hands out and basking in the jeers of the crowd. Bo then kneels down and drops a Seated Senton into the chest of Minute to work on the flyer’s back. Bo pulls Minute up off the mat and quickly turns him by the neck, cranking slowly. He turns to face Uriel Cortez and he blows the Titan of Industry a kiss before he spikes Minute down to the mat with a vicious Neckbreaker! Bo smiles then goes for another cover on the high flyer. 

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

DDK:
Minute has a lot of fight left in him, but he needs to get to his corner right now. He can’t take much more. The tag is made over to George Stevens again and now the two men work in tandem. 

DDK:
Uh-oh, they’re setting up something big right now. 

Angus:
Shit, why do you have to be right, Keebs?

George holds Minute up and allows Bo to run the ropes before they CRACK him with a Running Boot/Fireman’s Carry Slam called…

DDK:
Texas Two-Step by Bo and George! That’s gotta be it, especially with George now going for the pin!

Bo rushes out of the ring as George goes back to his corner. 

ONE!

TWO!

Angus:
YAS HOSSSSSS! URIEL TO THE RESCUE!

The Titan of Industry started crawling into the ring the second he has a chance and catches George with a Leg Drop to the back of the neck! Uriel stands up to cheers from the crowd and wills on Minute. 

Uriel Cortez:
GET UP! WE’RE NOT LOSING TO THESE ASSHOLES!

DDK:
Jeez, that’s the first time I think I’ve ever heard the reserved Uriel Cortez scream like that! 

Uriel returns to his corner with an outstretched hand, waiting for Minute to stand. Slowly but surely, the smaller half of The Sky High Titans sees his chanced while George still holds the back of his head in pain, growling under his breath. Minute tries to get to his corner and he’s almost there…

Angus:
No, no, no, damn it! That fat goof caught him!

Sure enough, Minute gets snatched by his leg and George drags him with one arm back to the corner of The Stevens Dynasty! Uriel growls, The Family Keeling are pissed and the crowd all jeer as George tags Bo back into the match. George knocks Minute over with a knee to his gut and the luchador is at their mercy as they take up either side of one of their challengers. Bo and George get ready…

DDK:
They’re looking for the Double Lariat! Coming up…

Angus:
NO! I MEAN, YES! HAHAHAHAHA! EAT A DICK, BO!

Minute SKE-DADDLES at the last second and George runs right over Bo as they go for the Stereo Clotheslines! 

DDK:
They just missed The Battle of San Jacinto! And now Minute finally has an opening! The crowd wants it!

TITANS! Clap x2
TITANS! Clap x2
TITANS! Clap x2

The crowd is coming unglued! George looks at his cousin wide-eyed and panicks while Cary Stevens yells for George to stop Minute before he can get to his partner…

But it’s too late. The tag is made and the crowd now goes nuts!

DDK:
Uriel is in! And he’s going nuts! He’s going right at George!

The first thing Uriel does is grab George and gut checks the monster with several big knees to the chest before running back and CLOCKING him with a massive Clothesline that sends him over the ropes and out to the floor!

The second thing he does is target the legal man, Bo. 

The third thing that happens is Bo looks like he’s about to turn his white trunks brown. 

Angus:
Come on, kill him!

Especially when Uriel comes running and then MOWS right through him with a monster Shoulder Tackle! The Titan of Industry holds court in the middle of the ring as Bo bounces around. Uriel licks his chops with the crowd cheering him on and then lets out a roar as he tosses Bo over the ropes! Both Stevens are down on the floor and that’s when The Titan of Industry grins from ear to ear before leaving the ring. 

He MURDERS Bo with another Running Shoulder Tackle and sends him flying viciously into the barricade! 

DDK:
Holy lord, what have The Family Keeling unleashed on The Stevens Dynasty. 

Angus:
Their fucking doom, that’s what!

Uriel then sees George on the floor, stumbling about from when he was almost caught. He runs and the crowd completely loses their shit… Uriel LEAPS and nearly murders George with a what might be the biggest Shotgun Dropkick ever thrown in DEFIANCE! Not particularly graceful, but George is off his feet for the first time. 

Angus:
HOLY GOD! HE CAN FLY, TOO! NOBODY IS SAFE!

DDK:
George is down! I’ve seen Uriel this unchained before! He’s hell bent on winning the titles with Minute!

It takes Uriel a few moments to get back to his feet on account of landing on the mat outside, but when he stands off, he rips off his dress shirt for the first time, revealing a pretty chiseled physique with his left arm covered in sleeves. For the first time, he’s in a match without some sort of suit or dress. 

Uriel:
What the.. How is he so shredded? 

DDK:
Now Uriel’s got Bo! He’s got him in the ring!

Uriel goes over to where he knocked Bo over and then presses him before THROWING him back through the ropes and into the ring. He stands up and then grabs Bo… 

DDK:
Big Business! He just dropped him! Can The Sky High Titans win the titles?

The crowd count along with Bo. 

ONE!

TWO!

TH…

He stops when Bo’s foot is on the ropes… and Cary grins. 

Angus:
No! Fuck that! He should have been disqualified! He put that simp’s foot on the ropes1

DDK:
Navarro didn’t see it! The match is still on!

Thomas Keeling has seen enough and shoves Cary Stevens! The elder member of The Family Keeling shoves him again, yelling at him, but Cary DECKS him with a right hand! It might be a first, but the crowd JEERS a Keeling getting dropped…

Angus:
Cary just leveled Thomas… HOLY CRAP!

Cary turns around, to see Junior Keeling standing on the ring apron, then running off with a Somersault Senton, taking Cary Stevens down on the ground! The crowd ROARS for the first time Junior Keeling runs interference as he lays into the former wrestlers with right hans for touching his dad! 

Uriel can’t help but watch as Hector Navarro tries to corral the heated exchange between managers at ringside… BUT BO CATCHES HIM WITH A KICK BETWEEN THE LEGS! The crowd jeers as Bo grins at his handiwork and then catches Uriel off the corner with the Springboard Bo-Dog! 

DDK:
CORTEZ IS DOWN! CORTEZ IS DOWN!

The shit-eating grin doesn’t leave the face of Bo as he points at the corner and tags in George Stevens, who has returned to the corner looking angry as all hell after being Dropkicked on the floor. George rushes over as a groggy Uriel starts to stand… only to BLAST him with a huge Lariat! The blow doesn’t knock Uriel down, but sweat goes flying off his body! George then picks him up…

DDK:
NO WAY! HE JUST DROPPED URIEL WITH THAT RUNNING POWERSLAM! THAT’S GOTTA BE IT!

The crowd looks on in amazement as George being able to bully the massive Titan of Industry! George goes for the cover on Cortez and makes sure to hook the leg. 

ONE!

TWO!

THR…

SPRINGBOARD DIVING DOUBLE STOMP BY MINUTE!

DDK:
MINUTE SAVES IT! MINUTE JUST SAVED THE MATCH FOR THE TITANS! HE CAUGHT GEORGE IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THAT STOMP!

The crowd is on their feet roaring as Minute finally makes his return after having been battered by The Stevens Dynasty and saves the match! Bo rushes in and kicks Minute before setting him up for a Powerbomb! He runs at the ropes looking to throw The TJ Tornado over the ropes, but instead, he turns it into a Hurricanrana in the ropes, dumping Bo over and out to the floor!

DDK:
Minute saves Uriel from a beating, but George… Look out!

Minute heads back, but George grabs him by the head and throws him back out to the ring apron to focus on the rising Uriel. The monster of the Stevens Dynasty roars and then goes to set Uriel up for the Texas Size Slam! He has him up… NO! ELBOW! ELBOW! ELBOW!

DDK:
Uriel’s back! He’s fighting his way out! 

He stuns George with a few shots, but the monster returns fire with a Double Sledge to the chest of Uriel… who then returns a shot of his own with a Running Knee! George gets gut checked and sent to the corner… and as he does that, Minute RUNS across the ropes and CRACKS George in the mouth in the corner with a Running Dropkick! 

DDK:
ESTRELLA FUGAZ! HE NAILS GEORGE WITH THAT ROPE RUN DROPKICK!

The crowd is going insane as Minute runs off the ropes! The blow is enough to rock the massive George and that’s when Uriel holds him by the side. He HOISTS George into the air and spikes him down!

DDK:
HE DID IT! HE JUST SLAMMED GEORGE INTO THE MAT WITH THE INDUSTRY STANDARD! HE’S DONE!

But… Uriel doesn’t go for the cover. Instead, Uriel rushes over and makes the tag to Minute and then leans back in the corner. George is down and out with nobody to save him as Minute measures him. The crowd waits as he picks him up and holds him on his shoulders… 

DDK:
The Keelings told me they’ve been working on this move! 

Minute leaps from the ropes, onto Uriel’s shoulders in one leap and then FLIES off into a big Splash on George Stevens! The big bruiser is down and out as the crowd counts along!

ONE!

TWO!>

Bo tries to get into the ring again, but gets met with a knee by Uriel!

THREE!

Minute rolls off of George’s massive body and holds his ribs in pain while cheering while Uriel leans back and punches the air with excitement! Uriel runs over and throws Minute onto his shoulders!

DDK:
THEY DID IT! THEY DID IT! WE HAVE NEW UNIFIED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS! URIEL CORTEZ AND MINUTE HAVE BOTH WON THEIR FIRST MAJOR CHAMPIONSHIPS IN DEFIANCE!

Junior helps his father up to his feet and he nurses a sore jaw, but when he points up and shows the collection of World and Trios Titles being given to The Sky High Titans, a smile crosses the faces of Thomas that takes a little sting out of his jaw. 

Angus:
YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! THE NIGHTMARE OF ALL THE STEVENSESES HOLDING TITLES IS OVER! KICK ROCKS, BITCHES!

DDK:
My broadcast partner’s personal biases aside, we have new Unified Tag Team Champions! Uriel Cortez and Minute have shown great flashes of brilliance and this only being the third time they’ve formed this team… The Family Keeling is no stranger to gold in DEFIANCE. They managed the great Team HOSS to a record setting run as the World Trios Champions and now, they’ve led the Sky High Titans to gold!

Both Bo and Cary Stevens are helping George out of the ring while inside, Uriel and Minute are astounded with the collection of belts they’re receiving with both the World Tag and Trios in one collection. Five belts total between the two men as they each raise a World and Trios belt. Thomas and Junior both have the last remaining Trios Title that they start to hand to Uriel, who declines and nods to give it to Minute. The luchador takes the last title… and the belts are heavy. He holds two in one arm and Junior goes to fasten one of the World Tag Titles around his waist. 

Angus:
Sweet Jesus, The Titan of Industry and Littlest Flippy-Doo pulled it out. 

DDK:
That they did… and we’ve got one more match to go when we have the FIST of DEFIANCE! “Twists and Turns” Oscar Burns looks to finally end the threat of Mikey Unlikely in this rematch from DEFIANCE ROAD 2019! 

DDK:
We’ve finally arrived at our main event of DEFCON 2020, Angus. This match has been building for the last three months ever since “Twists and Turns” Oscar Burns defeated Mikey Unlikely in the main event of DEFIANCE ROAD. Burns defeated him fairly in the middle of the ring. Mikey Unlikely had shaken his hand and even left the ring to give Burns the spotlight. Then what happened?

Angus: [slamming hand on the desk]
He went FULL. ON. MCFUCKASS. I always said he was no good. Burnsie said it every week in the build up to DEFROAD… and the second he let his guard down, Mikey chucked his ass off our stage. 

DDK:
That he did. Burns survived the match with Mikey at DEFIANCE ROAD with a roll-up… something that made Mikey SNAP. For weeks, Mikey has tried to goad Burns into this rematch and despite him attacking Burns’ opponents and interrupting his weekly FIST of DEFIANCE Open Challenges, Burns turned him down. But on DEFtv 131, Burns finally snapped. He unleashed a brutal and let’s be honest - deserved - assault on Mikey by busting him open with the Hard Out Headbutt and finally accepted 

Angus:
Then of course, McFuckass ruined yet ANOTHER title defense against The D. The PCP laid out Burns and Mikey stood over him at the end of the show. Burnsie has been driven Kiwi batshit. I think we’re gonna see that same Burnsie that put out Kendrix and beat the shit out of Stoovins in that Texas Deathmatch to end their feud. 

DDK:
Likewise, this has been a very desperate, but equally dangerous Mikey. He’s left Burns laying twice in the lead-up to this match and this won’t be like their first match where they had somewhat mutual respect on a competitive level. These two men have developed a personal hatred. Burns wants to uphold the stellar body of work he has put together as a fighting champion and be the pride of this promotion. Mikey wants fame and will do ANYTHING to finally become the FIST after having come up short in every previous attempt.

Angus:
I hope McFuckass chokes again. 

DDK:
A win here tonight puts Mikey Unlikely in rarified air as DEFIANCE’s only man to hold the World Tag, SoHer and FIST, should he be victorious. Many have said backstage this is Mikey’s last chance to win the title… and we’ll see if he can finally win the big one or if Burns can turn him back a second time.

Angus:
I will quit! I swear to GORRAM GOD KEEBS!

DDK:
Let’s go to Darren Quimbey now for the intros to our main event. 

And the camera does just that. Darren Quimbey, dressed smooth AF, ready to introduce the main event. 

Darren Quimbey:
THE FOLLOWING CONTEST IS A SINGLES MATCH SET FOR ONE FALL! THIS IS YOUR MAIN EVENT OF DEFCON 2020 AND THIS MATCH WILL BE CONTESTED FOR THE FIST OF DEFIANCE!

A LOUD roar echoes all the way throughout the Lakefront Arena as the challenger makes his way out.

♫ "Impious Pyre” by Savage Souls ♫

A new theme song confuses them for a second but the fans boo loudly when the red carpet rolls down the ramp. As the first verse starts Mikey comes through the curtain. He’s got his ring gear and a zip up windbreaker. Mikey Money logo on the back. His silver aviators shine in the single spotlight that hits the stage. 

DDK:
And here he comes… the challenger. Former Southern Heritage Champion. Former World Tag Team Champion. A man who once led the UTA in an invasion of DEFIANCE to put us out of business. 

Angus:
I’m pretty sure I already called him McFuckass like eight times, so… here’s nine. Fuck you, McFuckass!

With one hand he takes the sunglasses off. He drops them in front of himself. The camera zooms in on them just as he steps on them, shattering them. He’s making his way to the ring. 

DDK:
Mikey looks as dangerous as I’ve ever seen him. He actually put the pressure on Burns during their first bout. He tried for that Roll Credits finisher multiple times and in the end, it cost him dearly. 

Angus:
He looks desperate because his ass knows that if he loses again tonight, he’ll have to eat a LOT of crow and may not get another chance this big. He THINKS he can beat Oscar Burns. Oscar Burns KNOWS he can beat Mikey. 

Down the ramp he ignores the few fans who try to reach out to him. He takes the ring steps up, and wipes his feet on the ring apron before stepping into the squared circle. In the corner he doesn’t do the usual pose and play to the fans. He cracks his neck, and quickly unzips his jacket. Getting ready for the match, Mikey is quickly approached by Referee Benny Doyle who checks his pads and boots. Finally the new theme fades out. 

Now the many fans of the FIST of DEFIANCE now start to wave yellow and orange flags with “HI! I LIKE GRAPS!” and they start to wave them more in anticipation of the defending champion about to arrive… 

♫ “Raise Your Flag” by MAN WITH A MISSION ♫

The opening riffs build anticipation and soon… 

The champ arrives. 

The DEFIANCE flag with “DEFIANCE: WE LIKE GRAPS!” draping in both arms behind him with the FIST around his waist. Dressed in black wrestling gear for the evening with the FIST secured around his waist, the crowd erupted in cheers as the defending champion waves the flag and then heads toward the ring, marching proudly as the standard-bearer of DEFIANCE. 

DDK:
Here we go! Burns in the black attire! Normally he’s all about loud colors and the like, but that same black attire is what he wore when he won the title from Mikey’s Bruv, Kendrix. 

Burns takes the large flag and then balls it up before handing it to an attendant in the front row. He points out to the members of Team Graps waving their DEFIANCE flags before Burns walks up the steps and into the ring. 

With both competitors in the ring, Oscar Burns looks at Mikey with anger in his eyes. Benny Doyle stands between Burnie and the Hollywood C Lister. Mikey stands firm, face emotionless, keeping his eyes on the FIST OF DEFIANCE. Burns makes a lunge toward Mikey but Benny Doyle cuts him off using his body. Reminding Burns the match hasn’t started yet. The sudden movement makes Mikey backstep slightly. 

DDK:
Burns is ready to FIGHT! Can we say the same about Mikey?

Angus:
Nope, his ass is grass. 

The official finally is able to get both men in their corners long enough that he can begin the proper introductions.

Darren Quimbey:
Introducing first in the corner to my left, the challenger… weighing in at 230 pounds… he is the former DEFIANCE Southern Heritage and former World Tag Team Champion… he is ”THE WORLD’S GREATEST SPORTS ENTERTAINER” MIKEY UNLIKELY!

Mikey makes the all-too-great “that belt is MINE” motion around his waist and simply leans back in his corner not taking his eyes off The Technical Spectacle. 

Darren Quimbey:
And in the corner to my right… he is the reigning and defending FIST of DEFIANCE… from Wellington, New Zealand… weighing in at 243 pounds, he is the two-time holder and the current FIST of DEFIANCE… ”TWISTS AND TURNS” OSCAR BURNS!

The Joint Chief of Joint Locks throws up the FIST of DEFIANCE over his head and takes in a ring-shaking response from the fans and even gets a SHOWER of orange and yellow streamers showering the ring! Mikey looks disgusted by the show of support from the fans as Burns basks in the respect shown from the fans. 

Angus:
Burnsie got streamers!

DDK:
These people LOVE Burns. Ever since he defeated Cayle Murray for his first FIST of DEFIANCE, many have considered him the heart of this promotion through thick and thin. 

Benny Doyle gets the FIST of DEFIANCE and raises the championship to show what is on the line before the bell rings. A bevy of ringside attendants work quickly to remove the streamers and shove them back under the ring, the whole time Burns and Unlikely don't take their eyes off one another.

Finally when the streamers are cleared and the dust is settled...

DING DING!

Both men come in toward one another quickly, They go to lock up but Burns immediately turns it into a headlock. He pulls hard at the face of Mikey, who backs him into the ropes and pushes him off in the other direction. Burns hits a shoulder block that sends Mikey flat to the mat hard. Burns wastes no time and mounts Mikey and begins to rain punches down on his head. The fans quickly get to their feet and get loud. 

Angus:
Holy shit, he’s used a closed fist! Burns is using a closed fist! Yes! Mess up that C-list ass-bag!

DDK:
Burns has NEVER used closed fists, but even a man like Burns can be pushed too far and that’s what Mikey has done. 

The challenger is able to slip out from underneath Oscar and gets to his feet, looking to recover. Burns is up in a flash, he kicks Mikey in the gut, grabs him by the back of the head and sends him face first into the top turnbuckle of the nearest corner. Mikey hits and turns, falling into the corner back first. Burns shoots Mikey off to the other turnbuckle where he hits and comes forward. Burns hits a huge dropkick square in the face of Unlikely. Mikey goes down, but Burns won’t back off. 

DDK:
Right on target with that Dropkick! The Team Graps Cap isn’t letting up!

Burns picks Mikey back up again and once more sends him to the turnbuckle. Burns runs in and hits a big Running European Uppercut int the corner, knocking Mikey’s block off! Burns pushes the challenger and as Mikey staggers out of the corner, Burns leaps to the second rope, only to fly off and CRACK him under the jaw with a big Flying European Uppercut!

DDK:
Look at him go! I bet Mikey is regretting all the needling that he’s done to get this match with Burns! He wanted it this way, now he’ll have to live with the consequences. 

Angus:
PIN HIM! PIN HIM!

The FIST pounces on Mikey and goes for the cover. Benny Doyle slides into position. 

One...

Two…

Kickout!

DDK:
Almost three! We typically see Burns wrestle a more solid mat game, but he’s eschewing all that in favor of using those deadly Uppercuts of his! And there’s another one to the jaw of Mikey!

Burns picks him up off the mat again but Mikey is able to pull free from his grasp. He backs into the corner and finds the ropes. Burns chases but Unlikely ducks between the second and third and Benny Doyle slides inbetween them to break it up. The crowd jeers as Mikey hides in between the ropes and yells at Benny Doyle. 

Mikey Unlikely:
Get that bloodthirsty dingo off me! Now!

Mikey slowly pulls himself out of the ropes shaking his head from the initial onslaught. As Burns comes back at him again, Unlikely catches him with a swift kick to the gut, and now the challenger throws the champion into the corner. With his right hand Mikey brings his hand over his head and then down onto Burnsies chest. 

OOOOOOOOH can be audibly heard from the crowd. Then Oscar hits Mikey back with a stiff Elbow Smash. 

Overhand chop from Mikey, another shot to the face from Burns. Then another shot from Burns! Then another and another. Unlikely now looking like he may go down. Burns tries to grab Mikey in a belly to back position. 

DDK:
Backcrackamajig… no! Mikey flips out! And now he leaves the ring before Burns can dole out any more damage. 

Angus:
Get back and fight, coward!

Mikey takes a breather as Benny Doyle begins his count. After a second or two of Mikey not being in a hurry to come back in, Oscar Burns gives chase. Mikey sees him coming, and turns around and surprises Burns with a spinning clothesline that takes both men off their feet!

DDK:
Like him or hate him…

Angus:
Hate him. Definitely hate him. 

DDK:
He suckered Burns in and made him pay for it with that Spinning Clothesline!

Mikey Unlikely grabs Oscar and places him up against the barrier. Mikey rolls in and back out of the ring as Doyls count reached six. Resetting the count. When the challenger gets back to the outside he goes for another one of those Overhead chops but Burns has time to recover and blocks it. Burns now fires back with a few forearms, one after another they stagger Mikey. Mikey has one last trick up his sleeve, He throws a thumb into the eye of the FIST OF DEFIANCE. 

It lands flush!

DDK:
That’s gonna be the strategy that Mikey employs… literally ANY shortcut he can take to win!

Mikey takes a step back, and hits a running bulldog on the outside to Oscar Burns who was trying to regain sight from the eye poke! He hits the mat with a dull thud and Burns writhes around in pain while Mikey takes a few seconds to himself to recover. Unlikely is able to pick up the New Zealander and roll him back into the ring and go for the cover. 

One…

Two…
Kickout!

Angus:
Oh, thank you, Jesus! 

Mikey slaps the mat in frustration and tells official Benny Doyle to count “like a manly man”. OneTwoThree! He gets up and attempts a fist drop on the downed Oscar Burns. Burns gets out of the way, causing Mikey to hit his fist and subsequently hurt his wrist as well! Burns sees it too. Like a shark on blood Burns pounces on the arm that hit the mat. He measures Mikey up…

SOCCER KICK TO THE ARM!

DDK:
Burns caught that left arm of Mikey’s with a vicious kick! What a shot right there! 

Angus:
Remember what he said, Keebs? He told Mikey he was going to try and take the title, Burns was going to take his arm! 

Burns looks like he is going to follow through on his promise. He grabs Mikey’s arm and rolls him to the center of the ring on his back. Burns grabs his hand and PRIES away at each finger, eliciting screams from Mikey and cheers from the crowd with the deadly joint manipulation. He continues to pull back forcefully on his fingers until he puts the hand down on the mat backwards, curling up Mikey’s arm. The fans cheer as Burns stands up… AND STOMPS ON THE BENT ARM!

Angus:
Oh, my God, he’s doing it! He’s doing it! He’s gonna give me Mikey’s arm as a souvenir on his way to retaining the FIST!

DDK:
And once Burns picks a target, he’ll go for it! He’s staying more focused than he did in his first match with Mikey. Mikey put the pressure on him then, but I think he unintentionally created a monster by getting in his business and attacking him. 

Mikey rolls around the mat, howling in pain as Burns then grabs his arm and snaps Mikey over with a big Rolling Arm Drag! Mikey hits the mat, but The Team Graps Cap rolls up with him, traps the arms and THROWS Mikey over his head into a Bridging Trapping Suplex!

ONE!

TWO! 

NO!

DDK:
Mikey just barely escaped that one! He’s on the back foot now and if that arm isn’t a hundred percent, he may not be able to hit that Roll Credits finisher he relied on so much last time they fought. 

Angus:
Good! 

Burnsie keeps the pressure on Mikey as he now grabs the arm and jerks it around before SNAPPING Mikey into the mat viciously with an arm-based Dragon Screw! Mikey howls again and that’s when Burns rolls him over and sits on his chest, pinning his shoulders down. 

ONE!

TWO!

DDK:
Mikey with the shoulder up… NO! Burns has the arm! He’s trying for the Cross Arm Breaker! He’s trying to get it fully locked in!

The Team Graps Cap tries to get the hold locked in fully, but Mikey is using his good arm to try and keep him from breaking it. Burns kicks away at Mikey but he uses a desperation roll-up to stack Burns up!

ONE!

TWO!

NO!

Angus:
Damn you, McFuckass! Just lay there and take your arm ripping off like a man! Burnsie can do it nice and quick like a band-aid!

DDK:
Burns lets go! But wait… no! Mikey caught him! Lungblower! He just saved himself with that desperation Lungblower and now Burns is reeling!

The FIST of DEFIANCE rolls around the mat clutching his back in pain while Mikey does the same to his arm, trying to hit it to get some feeling back in the limb. He works with it the best he can as he grabs Burns and pulls him by the neck towards the ringside floor. Slowly but surely Mikey grabs him by the head and drags him over the edge of the ring apron…

DDK:
No, where’s he taking Burns?

Angus:
Oh shit…

Mikey grabs Burns’ head with his good arm and drags the larger man till he hangs halfway across the apron now…

HANGMAN’S DDT ON THE FLOOR!

DDK:
No! NO! He just DRILLED Burns on the floor with that Hangman’s DDT! He’s out!

Mikey is still reeling from the impact on the floor, still holding onto his bad arm, but the crowd now jeers The World’s Greatest Sports Entertainer. The FIST of DEFIANCE isn’t moving now and is limp on the floor in front of the ring while Mikey Unlikely has a shit-eating grin on his face after finally suckering the champion in. 

DDK:
Unlikely wasting little time, as he picks up Burns and rolls him back into the ring. Immediately he goes for the cover. 

One..

Two…

Too close to the ropes, Burns is able to drape his ankle across the cable. Mikey doesn’t know why the referee stopped counting and in a moment of frustration shouts out “C’MON DAMMIT!” Mikey gets up and gets in the referees face. He turns around and goes back to Oscar Burns. With his right arm he picks up one of Oscars legs. He raises his leg and sits out, dropping an legdrop on the hamstring of the FIST. 

DDK:
The Hollywood Star now back up and hooks the same extremity in a single leg crab! He’s using his left arm to reign down punches on the leg of Oscar Burns, but you can see it on his face Angus. Oscar Burns has done some damage, with each strike he’s hurting himself as well!

Angus:
The problem is, he’s too dumb to know it! 

Mikey eventually shakes his arm in pain and lets go of the hold. Oscar Burns tries to use the ropes to get back up. As the challenger runs back at the champion he catches a kick to the gut by the good leg of Burnsie. Unlikely staggers back trying to catch his breath. Burns tries to catch him with a swift Elbow Smash, only for Mikey to duck the blow and then life Burns for an Inverted Atomic Drop(cast!). The blow rocks Burns and Mikey follows up with a big Shoulder Jawbreaker that brings the defending champion to his knees…

DDK:
Good combo by Mikey, but he’s not done!

Mikey measures Burns up and then ROCKS the FIST with a low angled Superkick under the chin! The Technical Spectacle is now flat on his back and Mikey falls forward into a cover while hooking the leg. 

ONE!

TWO!

THR… NO!

Angus:
Stop scaring me, you dumb Kiwi! Kick his ass and go after that arm! Make him tap already!

DDK:
That was a great combination of moves by Mikey so far, but Burns needs to find a way to fight back right now. 

Mikey slaps his hands together and chastises Doyle yet again for what he perceives to be a slow count. Mikey then grabs Burns by his neck and then continues pounding away on the back of the larger Kiwi. The Guru of the Graps gets rocked when Mikey puts him down on the ground with a big slam and heads towards the turnbuckle before he kisses his right fist… poses for cameras… and takes flight!

DDK:
TOP ROPE FIST DROP! Mikey lands flush and uses his good arm to connect to the forehead of the champion! That might do it!

Mikey finally rolls over and once again lays across the chest of Burns and this time, uses his good arm to complete the task of gunning for the win. 

ONE!

TWO!

THR… SHOULDER UP!

DDK:
Burns has got to find a way to counter anything of Mikey’s. Unlikely has been practically over him since that Hangman’s DDT on the floor and he hasn’t found an escape. 

Angus:
Rope a dope, Keebs, all the greats do it. That’s what he’s doing… if he doesn’t want HIS car keyed, too…

Mikey growls and then decides that he’s had enough. He wastes no more time getting to the champion and as he lays flat, he sets up the Inverted Headlock. The crowd comes alive as Mikey tries to look for Roll Credits…

DDK:
He’s got Burns in the middle of the ring! If he can’t counter this, it’s over!

Angus:
Come on, Damn it, Burnsie!

Before he can hit the move, Burns drops out underneath him and when Mikey frantically tries to end it, Burns pulls his legs up and snatches Mikey into a cover!

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

DDK:
Two-count, two-count! That’s almost how Burns defeated Mikey back at DEFIANCE ROAD by countering Roll Credits! Both men on their feet now!

Suddenly both men come forward at one another at the same time. 

The crowd hits us with the “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH” that comes with great contact. 

DDK:
Double Kicks! Both men go down! 

Angus:
That could be a knock out! Check to see if Mikey’s out! 

The official checks on both men, who both hold their heads. Benny Doyle is going to allow this one to keep going, he begins his ten count. The fans in the arena start clapping rhythmically for Oscar Burns. 

DDK:
The challenger now up in one corner!

He’s got his left arm to his side, resting his head on the turnbuckle. His free hand tugs at the strings on the back of the turnbuckle pad. On the other side of the ring Oscar Burns is collecting himself. The fans shout for Oscar to watch out. 

DDK:
Wait, what is Mikey doing now? Is he trying to get that turnbuckle pad off? 

Angus:
Motherfu… is Doyle officiating this match or Mark Shields! Lay off the sauce and pay attention! Wait! Haha! Take THAT, you C-List ass-bag!

Oscar comes crashing in behind MIkey and body presses him chest first into the turnbuckle! The pad does not come off however. Mikey bounces on it and then falls back, snapping his head off the mat. Right after that, Burns grabs the back of Mikey’s head…

DDK:
Snap Dragon Suplex! 

Burns then waits as Mikey gets back up from the impactful suplex, only to grab him again… 

DDK:
BACKCRACKAMAJIG! NOW BURNS WITH THE COVER!

ONE!

TWO!

THR… NO!

Angus:
No, that was three! That was three!

DDK:
That was two and nine-tenths! Burns almost had it with that combination of moves, but Mikey isn’t staying down! He can’t afford to lose here tonight! 

Oscar then gazes out to the sea of people and then grabs Mikey’s arm before STOMPING away at it again! He’s looking to finish him off the same way he defeated his Best Bruv Forever, Kendrix, in order to win the match. He then holds Mikey’s arm out and points at the turnbuckle. 

Angus:
OH YEA! He’s going for something big here Keebs! Time to put McFuckass away once and for all. 

Burns goes to the ring apron and climbs to the top rope. He looks at Mikey and then the crowd. The fans are on their feet. Burns stands straight up…

DDK:
He’s going up top! He’s looking for that Sweet As Knee Drop! 

Burns yells out and almost ten thousand strong join in…

Oscar Burns (and the crowd):
SWEET AS!

He jumps… 

Then his body crashes to the outside of the ring with a loud thud!

DDK:
NO! NO!

The crowd let out one collective gasp as Burns slips, crashes viciously on the ropes and bounces off the apron before he falls to the floor in a heap.

DDK:
OH MY GOD! SOMEONE CHECK ON BURNS! 

Angus:
As he pushed off that top turnbuckle, the pad that McFuck had loosened slipped off, sending Burns over and out instead of up and in. Did you see his head? 

Benny Doyle gets out of the ring as fast as he can to check on Oscar Burns. The crowd is dead silent. 

DDK:
I don’t think Mikey Unlikely planned on that happening but he did loosen the strings on it… 

Unlikely begins to stir. As the Tron shows a replay of what happened Mikey sees it for the first time. He looks over at Burns from a kneeled position with a look of worry. 

DDK:
Well at least he understands the severity of…

Then his face changes to a smile. 

Angus:
I’d say you’re right there, Keebs. 

Mikey gets up and slides out of the ring. He pushes Benny Doyle out of the way and picks up Oscar Burns. 

DDK:
You’ve gotta be kidding me. Give the official a chance to determine if there’s a serious injury! 

Angus:
Nine out of ten times I agree with you there Keebs, but I understand what Unlikeable is thinking… He’s been in this spot Darren, he’s had five shots at the FIST and he’s lost them all. It doesn’t matter HOW, all that matters now, is that he gets it done. 

He rolls the champion into the ring, and lays him face down. Mikey climbs to the second rope, careful to avoid the third one. He turns around and leaps. He comes down with an elbow drop to the back of the neck.

DDK:
I’ll be damned if that doesn’t just do it. 

He rolls the FIST OF DEFIANCE over for the cover. 

One…

Two..

KICKOUT!

The fans erupt. 

DDK:
NO! It’s not over yet! Burns is still fighting! I don’t know how! But He’s still in this thing! 

Angus:
He’s a little too goody two shoes for me Keebs, but the man is a fighting champion. Someone we can be proud of in DEFIANCE. 

The challenger pulls Burns back to his feet and puts him in the reverse DDT position. 

DDK:
He’s going for the Roll Credits!

As Mikey swings his left arm, Burns reaches up and catches it. He swings a leg up and catches Mikey in the face, breaking the hold. 

Angus:
HA! Scouted! 

Burns twists out of position and hops onto Mikey and pulls himself into the hold we all know. 

DDK:
Pop Up Graps of Wrath, He’s got Mikey locked in, middle of the ring! The Octopus is on! 

Angus:
It’s not locked allllll the way in Keebs! I don’t know if Burns is all there, or if he’s just got the fight half of flight or fight kicking in. Never one to quit, he’s just going back to what he knows when things get tough. 

Unlikely screams in pain, as the crowd chants for him to “Tap, Tap, Tap, Tap”.

Official Benny Logan right there in the face of Mikey Unlikely to see if he’s ready to give up. 

Mikey yells loudly, bends forward pulling Oscar Burns further up his back. Unlikely stumbled towards the corner and leaps. While Burns has yet to let go of the hold, he does when his face meets the exposed steel of the turnbuckle pad. As Mikey crashes both of them into the corner, aiming perfectly to send Burns face first. 

Both men collapse in a heap in the corner. 

DDK:
A very exhausted Mikey Unlikely breathing heavily, is able to sit up now. He rolls Burns toward him and goes for a cover!

One…

Two..

Kickout!

DDK:
The FIST OF DEFIANCE, TWIST AND TURNS REFUSES TO QUIT! 

Mikey has a shocked look on his face, he falls back over onto his back and tries to cover him again. 

One…

Two…

Kickout!

In the middle of the ring the challenger throws a hissyfit. Kicking his arms and legs, his frustration has boiled over. 

DDK:
Can you believe what we’re seeing right now? 

Angus:
Yes…. Yes I can!  McFuckboi has no patience, he has no poise. 

Unlikely up and pulling on the neck of the champion. Lifting him to his feet. Mikey put him in the reverse DDT position and executes his finisher. 

DDK:
ROLL CREDITS! He hit it! 

DDK:
NOO! 

Skipping the pin attempt, instead Mikey picks up Burns again. 

DDK:
Oh no... He’s going to do it aga….ROLL CREDITS! BURNS NECK AND BACK HAVE TO BE BROKEN! 

Almost as if on repeat. Mikey screams into the air at the top of his lungs. Lifts up a now lifeless Oscar Burns and once more locks him under his arm. 

As Burns crashes into the knee of Unlikely and then falls to the mat, the air in the room disappears. Mikey rolls up Burns and pulls on both legs with all he can. Benny Doyle slides into position. 

One…

Two…

THREE!

The bell rings. Mouths in the crowd stand agape. 

♫ "Impious Pyre” by Savage Souls ♫

Both men lie on the mat physically exhausted. As Mikey makes it to his knees there's a constant drip of sweat pouring from his face. 

Angus:
Please no… Please no…. 

His mummering continues. Mikey finally makes it to his feet and has his hand raised by Benny Doyle. A look of realization crosses his face as the title is placed in the ring by the ring announcer. Suddenly his eyes get wide and his jaw drops. He’s done it. 

Darren Quimbey:
Ladies and gentlemen your winner…. AND NEWWWWWWW FIST OF DEFIANCE….MIKEYYYYY UNLIKEELLLYYYYY !!!!!! 

The boos come in fast and furious once Quimbey finishes his announcement. Mikey looks ecstatic, he snatches the title from Benny Doyle and puts it inches from his face taking it in. He smiles wide and looks up to the crowd. He holds the title up in the sky. 

DDK:
He’s done it! Mikey Unlikely has finally done it. After four long years in DEFIANCE Wrestling he’s finally achieved the highest honor one can achieve… he’s become our FIST OF DEFIANCE. 

Angus:
This is it Keebs. This is my worst nightmare. After everyone had thwarted the attempts by McFuckass he’s finally pulled it off. By hook or by crook. FUCK! 

In the ring Mikey Unlikely goes to the corner and stands on the second rope, holding the title up to the sky. As he steps down and passes Benny Doyle he tells him. “Get that loser out of MY ring!” 

Oscar Burns is currently rolling out of the ring holding his neck. The official hops out and helps the former FIST to the back. 

Angus lets out a sound that’s not quite human-sounding. 

DDK:
Not only has Mikey Unlikely become the FIST, but he’s also achieved something no one else has before in a DEFIANCE ring….

Angus:
Nope!  

The sound of a live mic/headset crashing down on the commentary desk can be heard as Mikey Unlikely continues to celebrate in the middle of the ring. 

DDK:
Angus!? ... ANGUS!? 

The commentary goes silent for a moment as Unlikely basks in his victory. Finally, Darren's voice returns.

DDK: 
... uh, well ... Mikey Unlikely, The Hollywood Star, has become DEFIANCE’s FIRST Triple Crown Champion! The first person to ever have held the Southern Heritage Championship, The Tag Team Championships, and now the FIST OF DEFIANCE! 

Suddenly the music stops. The new champion looks around confused. 

One second goes by… 

DDK:
What the… 

Another second. 

All the lights shut off at once except those on the ring, where Mikey stands alone, and the Stage where spotlights swirl.  Mikey stares intently. 

A rumbling sound… 

It slowly gets louder… 

It stops.

♫ “Legendary” by 7KingsZ ♫

DDK:
Who’s this!? … I don’t know that song… 

The Fans erupt as the person comes through the curtain. 

DDK:
OH MY GOD! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! 

….

..

.

DDK:
LINDSAY TROY IS BACK IN DEFIANCE! 

Lindsay Troy, the DEFIANCE legend, is wearing black boots, black jeans, black leather jacket with a red racing stripe down the shoulder and arms, and her High Queen DEFIANT t-shirt. She walks out onto the stage and stops at the top of the ramp. She looks out to the crowd who are still cheering loudly for the High Queen.

DDK:
I can’t believe what we’re seeing! Mikey Unlikely looks like he’s seen a ghost! 

Lindsay Troy points down at Mikey, then motions across her waist for the title. 

DDK:
It looks like she’s back for a reason too Angus! 

Lindsay Troy smiles and Mikey back in the ring holds the title tight to his chest. 

DDK:
Ladies and Gentlemen, THANK YOU for joining us for DEFCON 2020! Join us next week for all the carnage, all the fallout, all the action of DEFTV! For Angus, I’m Downtown Darren Keebler! 

THIS

IS

DEFIANCE!