Untouchable 2013

[Yesterday.]

[...]

[Welcome to Arkham Gift Shoppe. Where, on this very special day... 13 of the biggest and brightest stars are here to sign autographs for some very excited fans.]

[Each star or group has their own private booth lined with merch that consists of the following: videos, 8x10 photos, t-shirts, and replica ring gear.]

[But we’re here to focus on one special booth, the Mike Sloan Xperiance. At this very moment there is a line that consists of fifteen or so fans who really want to help out St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital. But more so they want to witness the animosity between Luke and Curt . ]

[They are handcuffed together; it’s a team bonding method that has been installed by their manager. It really hasn’t been working to any degree of success. Luke Windham is right handed; Curt has his left hand cuffed to Luke’s right hand. Today, Curt’s little prank has been to snatch Luke’s right hand mid-way through the autograph. ]

[A defiant little shit, isn’t he?]

[Tyson has had to babysit the duo all morning, and at this moment he has stepped away from the booth to grab a cold bottle of Dasani and to check in with Mike Sloan.]

Sloan: (chewing on a red licorice whip)
How are they acting?

[He uses the dry end to point at the cow hand and the MMA artist.]

Burke:
Curt’s being a dick. Luke his trying to hold it together, but he’s contemplating driving Curt’s head through the table and leaving him out cold.

[Sloan starts back gnawing on the whip.]

Sloan:
Why hasn’t he yet?

Burke:
I keep convincing him that dragging Curt’s dead weight would ruin our chances tonight…and it would make him tired. He doesn’t need to be tired.

[Mike shrugs his shoulders.]

Sloan:
You might wanna get back over there…

[Sloan smiles as he watches Curt try and pull Luke’s arm again, only for Curt to be snatched out of his seat when the attempt came.]

Burke:
Fucking SHIT! Come on guys!

[Another semi-brawl breaks out between the two. The fans take a few steps back, thinking it’s only a part of the show, while Tyson drives the two apart. Mike casually walks over to his three amigos.]

Sloan:
Curt… Luke, ya’ll must really like each other, cause the two of ya’ll are gonna stay hooked up all night long.

Windham: (giving a whimper)
But… Mike, he started it….

Penn: (knowing that Mike’s judgment is final)
Fucking Christ!

[Curt uprights his chair and plops into it, almost separating Luke’s shoulder, causing Luke to tumble over and fall onto of Penn.]

Sloan:
Look Tyson… that’s love.

[Mike walks away smiling.]

[Cutting away from the former hotshot World Champ, the LIVE icon appears in the top-right of the screen.]

[Showtime is still a couple of hours off.]

[An establishing shot of the Mellon Arena.]

[DEFIANCE on PAY-PER-VIEW begins in FIVE...]

[Python is in the undecorated, mostly empty hallway. Psyching himself up, he was warming up with a cardio agility drill. Lots of lunging motions, deep steps and quick movements. Thankfully, Matt has some sure footing. A pair of headphones blaring rock music prevent him from hearing Tucker G. Alston arrive behind him.]

Tucker G. Alston:
Hello.

[Python continues the drill by dropping to the floor and springing up into a high kick, unaware. Alston sidesteps the strike as it passes inadverdantly close to his head. Startled, Python staggers back and rips off his headphones.

Python:
Woah! Hey! Sorry dude, I had no idea you were behind me. Did I get you?

Tucker G. Alston:
Not at all.

Python:
Cool.

[Python grins and turns to put his headphones back on, but pauses as he notices that Alston remains rooted in his spot.]

Tucker G. Alston:
My name is Tucker Alston.

Python:
Yeah? Python.

Tucker G. Alston:
Nice to meet you.

Python:
Yeah man, likewise.

Tucker G. Alston:
Look, I’m new here. Just wanted to introduce myself. This whole thing is surreal. Can’t believe I’m actually here.

Python:
Heh. Yeah, the first time is always unbelievable.

Tucker G. Alston:
Certainly is, man.

Python:
Well, welcome to the pros, dude. Good to have ya on the team. Let me know if you ever have a question or need a hand or anything. I may be young, but I've been around the block a few times.

[Python grins and offers Alston a pound. Unsure of what to do with the closed fist, he receives it like a handshake, drawing a laugh from Python.]

Tucker G. Alston:
Thank you, will do. Anyways, I just wanted to introduce myself. Good luck in the big Southern Heritage battle royal.

Python:
Yeah, you too man. See you out there. Break a leg, have some fun.

Tucker G. Alston:
Thanks!

[Tucker G. Alston takes off down the hall leaving Python alone. Python snaps the headphones back on over his ears, looks down the hall after Alston with a final grin and shake of his head, and somersaults back into the rhythm of his warmup drill.]

[With a loud snorting noise, the camera feed sharply cuts away to a dimmer, less hallway-focused view. Barely audible, someone somewhere mutters "Fucking queermo."]

[Backstage in the locker room sits Chance Von Crank. He just sits listening to his beats headphones, lacing up his new wrestling boots. The boots were designed for this event specifically. Chance is alone in this particular locker room with the few wrestlers he shares it with are out stretching getting ready for the battle royal. Just having had a main event match on Retaliation he feels the need to rest before his PPV debut.  Chance notices his phone lighting up and takes off his headphone to look. It’s a text from his manager who is taking pictures of girls in the crowd to take back to the bus after the show. A busty redhead with “Fuck You” tattooed across her fists gets his attention. “Keeper” he replies. He laughs about getting to nail her later and briefly talks to himself in the empty locker room.]

cVc:
Ha, I’d love to marry a whore with “Fuck You” tattooed across her fists… That way our fist fights would have subtitles.

[He notices what he thinks is a board game sticking out of one of the other wrestler’s gym bag. He finishes up lacing his boots and slips his rhinestone robe on.  He pulls the box out of the bag revealing it to be an Ouija board. He retrieves it and walks it over to a nearby table. Chance gets out all the pieces to the Ouija board and sits It out on the table.  The planchette, a heart shaped piece of wood, he sits on top of the board. He looks around the empty room and listens briefly to make sure he is alone.]

cVc:  
Are there any spirits here?

[Chance has his hands on the planchette and to his shocking surprise it begins to move.]

“YES”…..

[Chance briefly takes a step back in shock from this. He steps back up to the Ouija board.]

 cVc:
Okay that was real fucked up, if you are here then what is you’re name?

[Chance stays with it this time as the planchette begins to move about the board again spelling.]

“K”……….”O”…….”R”………”T”…

[Chance shakes his head when it suddenly hits him who this is. He remembers what Dragon Jones said earlier in the week, “I Killed Jimmy Kort, Crank.”]

cVc:
So you’re the motherfucker Jones killed, then?

“YES”

[Chance is in disbelief. A sly grin crosses his face as if he has just gotten the best idea. He looks over at his own gym bag and realizes he is going to steal this Ouija board after one last question to the late Jimmy Kort.]

cVc:
Who Wins The Battle Royal?

[He holds on as it begins to spell again.]

“C”………”V”…….”C”….

[On the last letter, the camera hangs for a meaningful moment. Then, we are ringside once again. The Squared Circle sits just where we left it... But as the camera aims beyond it, it aims up at the entryway, the big ol' UNTOUCHABLE stage.]

[El Distorto de Melodica - Everclear plays out over the PA to signal the entrance of the Battle Royal participants. First out is CVC, then Sam Turner Jr., Jeremy Knyte, and then Virginia Quell who came out with Frank Dylan James. He was sent to the back and passed Troy Matthews as he came out. Tucker G. Alston was next, followed by Dragon Jones, then Lash Graham, and Sam Johnson. Lisa Loeh came out and next, but didn’t make it to the ring as she turned around and headed to the back again.]

Angus:
Looks like Lisa’s just come out here for her PPV bonus.

[Python doesn’t walk down to the ring like everyone else though. He sprints down the ramp and slides into the ring, his momentum carries him at least two thirds of the way across the canvas and right to the feet of Chance Von Crank.]

DDK:
I think it’s clear who Python wants to get his hands on!

Angus:
And his feet.

[Python’s fingertips brush CVC’s boots as the Trailer Park Prodigy hot foots it away from his Retaliation opponent. Python scrambles to his feet and heads off after Crank, but he’s cut off by Sam Johnson, who throws a right hand that connects with Python’s temple.]

DDK:
Python seems to have taken everyone by surprise here.

Angus:
Everyone except Bad News Johnson over there.

DDK:
Who?

Angus:
Guy looks like Bad News Brown.

[The right hand of Johnson’s knocks Python back into the ropes, but he rebounds with a forearm of his own that knocks Johnson back into Lash Graham. Lash doesn’t seem to appreciate having Johnson bumping into him like that and hits his across the back of the head with his stuffed Armadillo. It doesn’t do much damage, obviously, but it does grab Johnson’s attention.]

DDK:
Sam seems to realise Python isn’t in sort of mood to be messing with right now and turns his attention to Lash Graham.

Angus:
Shame his namesake hasn’t learnt that as well.

[Sam Turner Jr. now tries his luck at taking on Python and grabs him by the waist. He lifts Python off of his feet, but Python turns in midair and plants STJ with a DDT. He jumps right back to his feet, steps over Sam and rushes CVC again, who cowers in fear behind Jeremy Knyte.]

DDK:
Is Python really willing to go through Knyte to get to Chance?

Angus:
With the fire in his eyes I’d wager he’d go through Knyte and Day.

DDK:
*Groan*

[Knyte looks behind him at CVC, who points to Python and yells ‘git ‘im!’. Knyte looks back to Python, then to CVC, then to Python, then shrugs and side steps allowing Python easy access to his target. Dragon Jones and Viginia Quell meanwhile don’t seem to want anything to do with what’s going on in that corner of the ring and have grabbed the downed Sam Turner Jr and heaved him to the other side of the ring where they’re trying to throw him out.]

DDK:
Troy Matthews seems to be hanging back here, looks like he’s waiting to pick a spot.

Angus:
That’s all he’s good for, spots.

DDK:
A shoot joke?

Angus:
A puberty one.

DDK:
How old is he?

Angus:
Dunno, doesn’t have a completed profile.

[Matthews doesn’t have long to wait though as Knyte zeros in on him and lifts a knee into his midsection. He drives a forearm down across Troy’s back and then sends him into the ropes. Troy grabs hold of the top one and drops all of his weight down to make it as hard as possible for Knyte to lift him.]

DDK:
Now CVC’s trying to hide behind Alston!

Angus:
Even I could tell you that’s the stupidest place he could have hidden.

[Tucker isn’t having any of CVC’s shenanigans and reaches down to grab him by the mullet. He lifts CVC up and throws him into Python, who leaps and takes him over with a Hurricanrana. Chance crawls to the ropes and grips hold of the bottom one as Python and Alston close in on him.]

DDK:
CVC could be first out here.

Angus:
No he couldn’t!

[On the other side of the ring Sam Johnson has gained the upper hand over Lash Graham and has him hanging upside down on the outside of the ropes. Graham has his arms hooked, but he looks moments away from elimination!]

DDK:
Hang on Lash!

Angus:
Get him out, Bad News!

[Dragon Jones takes a break from choking Sam Turner Jr. and leaves Quell  on her own. She’s doing fine though, she’s got the ropes to help her. Jones charges over to Graham and Johnson, but instead of helping Sam, he wraps his arms around Johnson’s leg and lifts him up and over the top. Sam’s caught off guards and tumbles to the floor as Lash Graham lands on the apron and quickly slides back into the ring!]

Eliminated: Sam Johnson by Dragon Jones!

Angus:
Good riddance to Bad News.

[Dragon Jones tries to push Graham back out of the ring with his feet, but Lash is signaled as back in by the referees. Instead Jones drops to his knees and rains blows down on any part of Graham he can touch. Sam Turner Jr. is about as red as the woman that’s choking him’s hair, Jeremy Knyte is still trying to throw Troy Matthews out, and CVC is getting seven shades of the brown stuff stomped out of him by Python and Alston!]

Angus:
Everyone’s been pretty stationary for a while, haven’t they?

DDK:
Well it looks like Viginia Quell is trying to sap all of the life out of STJ before she can throw him over, and Troy Matthews is being throughly overwhelmed by Knyte.

Angus:
And I guess I can’t blame Python for wanting to fuckstomp the piss out of CVC.

[Troy Matthews reaches up and in desperation rakes the eyes of Knyte, finally getting the big man off of him for long enough so that he can reenter the ring. Troy doesn’t want much more to do with Knyte and goes straight for the similarly heightened, but much lighter, Tucker G Alston. Matthews hits a running knee that knocks Alston off balance and into the ropes. Python’s attention is grabbed by that for a moment which allows CVC to lift a foot deep into his breadbasket and scurry away.]

DDK:
Matthews with the inadvertant assist to CVC there.

Angus:
And the Trailer Park Prodigy is out of there.

[Python gets his bearings back quickly and grabs Matthews off of his friend. He spins Troy around and casts him over the top. Matthews lands on his feet on the apron though and jumps, kicking Python in the head as he does so.]

DDK:
Didn’t he call that the Trendsetter?

Angus:
At one point I think so, but now? No bio.

[Troy lands back on the apron and runs for the corner. He hotfoots it up the ropes and perches on the top waiting for Python to turn back to him. Before he can leap though Chance Von Crank charges in and pushes his feet out from under him! Matthews sails to nowhere but the arena floor as CVC wipes the sweat from his brow.]

Eliminated: Troy Matthew s by Chance Von Crank

Angus:
That might not have been a smart move. Matthews looked set to take it to Python.

DDK:
But CVC wasn’t going to let an opportunity to get an elimination slip by that easily.

[Chance gets to his feet, turns around and pulls the weirdest face ever. Like he’s just had lemon and vinegar injected into his eyes. Zoom out slightly and you’ll see why. Python’s foot is buried deep, deep, deep into CVC’s perineum.]

Angus:
BELLS WILL BE RINGING!

[Alston gets to his feet just in time to be caught with a running elbow from Jeremey Knyte. Dragon Jones has Lash Graham laying on the corner of the ropes clinging on for dear life. Virginia Quell has ceased choking Sam Turner Jr and is now trying to lift him off of the mat, but to no avail. The breather was exactly what Sam needed as he shoves Quell away and sends her rolling back into the middle of the ring. She runs back at Sam, but he puts a foot up that connects with her... ahem... chest.]

Angus:
RIGHT IN THE TITS!

DDK:
How eloquent.

[Lash throws a right hand that connects with Jones’ forehead. Another knocks him back and allows Lash to drop back into the ring. Dragon runs in again and Lash jumps, wraps his ankles around his neck and swings him to the side. Jones tumbles over the top rope, but he hangs on!]

DDK:
Jones is still in this thing!

[Lash Graham slides into the ring under the bottom rope and tries to pry Dragon’s hands off of the rope, but Dragon manages to reenter the ring before he can. The two return to trying to headlock each other over the ropes as Jeremy Knyte lifts Alston and quite un-prettily slams him into the mat.]

DDK:
Alston’s head hit hard there, that might be him out!

[Knyte tries to lift Tucker off of the mat, but he’s cut off by Python as he lifts a kick into Knyte’s midsection. He grabs the bearded behemoth by the head and drops into a sitout jawbreaker! Knyte still doesn’t go down, but that’s not where Python wants him, Python gets back up and hits a standing dropkick that knocks Knyte closer to the ropes. A forearm, followed by another send him closer still!]

DDK:
Now it’s Knyte that’s rocking!

[Python hits the ropes and comes back, looking for that last hit that should send Knyte crashing to the outside. He’s just about to connect when he’s cut right out by Chance Von Crank, who throws himself in and wipes Python out with a spear!]

Angus:
I thought that nut shot would have had CVC out for the count!

DDK:
He’s still hurting from it though!

[Jeremy Knyte drops to one knee to recover after Python’s onslaught. Dragon Jones has given up on trying to get Lahs Graham out and heads over to Tucker G Alston, who he lands a couple of boots into. Sam Turner Jr has finally gained some leverage and has Virginia Quell over the top rope, but she’s got her legs, arms and everything in between wrapped around them, so she’s not going anywhere.]

Angus:
It really takes it out of you when you’re trying to throw someone out and they don’t want to go.

[Chance scoots back to the ropes and pulls himself to his feet. He calls for some help as he grabs Python by the hair and pulls him up to his feet. STJ looks back, but he’s reluctant to leave Quell, Knyte is still trying to recover, Graham is trying to recover in the corner, and Jones is still stomping in Alston.]

DDK:
No help for CVC then.

[Chance waves everyone off and front facelocks Python. He lifts him for a suplex, but Python drives a knee into his head forcing him to drop him. Before landing, Python throws his legs out and hits a front dropkick to CVC’s knee!]

DDK:
Python’s not done yet!

[Python gets back to his feet and hits the ropes. He comes back with a shining wizard to CVC and then signals that he’s going over!]

DDK:
And these fans are going wild!

[Python can’t get a hold of CVC though as he’s knocked down by a running axehandle from Dragon Jones! Jones grabs Python now and lifts him to his feet, but before he can take him anywhere Python exploded with a Russian leg sweep! He quickly gets back to his feet and hits and standing shooting star press onto Jones!]

DDK:
Now he’s going to get rid of CVC!

[Python grabs hold of CVC’s mullet again and lifts him, but CVC was playing possum! He turns and jabs a thumb deep into the eyesocket of Python! Chance jumps and plants a knee firmly into the face of Python, he wraps his hands around his head and drops him with the Shock-n-Rolla!]

DDK:
Out of nowhere!

[CVC again calls for help, and this time gets it in the form of Jeremy Knyte. Sam Turner Jr can’t argue with the need to eliminate after his show against Dragon Jones, and so he leave Virginia Quell and heads over the help as well. Jones meanwhile gets slowly to his feet and also helps out. Together STJ, Knyte, CVC and Jones lift Python by one limb each and carry him to the ropes. Virginia Quell clearly wants a piece of the action after recovering from her position atop the ropes and does her best to prop up Python’s torso!]

DDK:
This isn’t fair!

Angus:
It’s every man for himself! And the SoHer title is on the line! These guys all stand a better chance of walking out with the gold without Python in there!

[One heave from all five competitors and Python is sent clear over the top and down to the floor!]

Eliminated: Python by CVC/Quell/Knyte/STJ/Jones

Angus:
And thus endeth the Python show!

[Python may have been eliminated from the match, but he sure wasn’t done fighting. As Quell, STJ, Knyte, and Jones all turn their attention to each other, CVC leans over the ropes, sticks his tongue out at Python and laughs in his face. And that’s why he hops back up on the ring apron and lays CVC out with a right hand!]

DDK:
You were saying?

[Before Python could get back in the ring DEFsec and the referees swarm in, pulling him down from the apron and order him up the ramp. Python obliges and heads to the back as the fans applaud his efforts.]

Angus:
They’re applauding a loser!

DDK:
They’re applauding a man that could have, and probably should have, won this match.

Angus:
The candle that burns twice as bright yada yada yada...

[CVC crawls backwards from the ropes, not laughing anymore, and backs right into the legs of Tucker G Alston. CVC doesn’t get a chance to look up before Alston is grabbing him by the hair and pulling him to his feet. Alston scoops CVC up and slams him hard into the mat.]

DDK:
Alston keeps it simple, but he’s effective.

[Alston drops a spinning elbow into the chest of CVC before rolling him over and locking in a half crab. STJ and Knyte paired off moments before and headed for the corner where STJ gained the upper hand. He plants a shoulder into Knyte’s midsection and tries to lift him over the top, but Knyte braces and drops his weight, making it difficult for even STJ to lift him.]

[Quell and Jones could have started fighting each other, but they decided to continue working together to take on Lash Graham. Graham was fighting valliantly, but the numbers game was too much for him to overcome.]

DDK:
Graham’s looking on the verge of elimination again!

[Both Graham and Quell are trying to tip Graham out with a hand on either of his legs. Jones moves under Lash to get more leverage, but in doing so releases one of his legs. Lash uses that free leg to axe kick down onto Quell and break her grasp before rolling backwards to land on the apron. For a second Jones thinks Graham’s gone, that is until he takes an elbow from Lash that knocks him back. Be bumps into Quell and both are taken down as Lash springs into the ring and connects with a dropkick.]

DDK:
And Graham pulls it back!

Angus:
How can he even hear that echidna from all the way over there?

[Jeremy Knight drops an axehandle across the spine of STJ, stopping Sam’s attempt to lift him. Another axehandle breaks Sam’s grip and an elbow down across the shoulders leaves Sam and Jeremy’s mercy. Knyte wraps his arm around STJ’s head and bulldogs him out of the corner!]

DDK:
These guys all wrestled earlier this evening, how have they still got the energy?

Angus:
Oooh, I know!

[Alston releases the half crab on CVC and pulls him to his feet. He backs Chance into the corner and whips him across the ring. Alston follows him in and hits a running clothesline. CVC bounces up onto the top rope and Alston pounces on him, trying to throw him out. CVC has enough wherewithal to stick a thumb to Alston’s eye and drops back into the ring. With Tucker momentarily blinded CVC runs again, making sure to put a boot in on STJ and Knyte as he goes.]

Angus:
CVC hitting and dodging. That’s how to get ahead.

DDK:
Of course he could be putting a target on his back just like Python did.

[STJ and Knyte both stirred, but it was Graham that got back to his feet first. Lash spots CVC cowering in the corner, the same one mind that had Lash’s Armadillo in it. Now, the position that CVC had taken up, you’d be forgiven for thinking he was actually interfering with the armadillo in some way, and that’s why Lash runs to the corner, grabs CVC by the ankle and pulls him out into the middle of the ring, which is now clear of the bodies of Quell, Jones, STJ and Knyte.]

DDK:
I think Lash thinks CVC was doing something to his armadillo.

Angus:
Maybe he just doesn’t want Chances hands to touch it. Who knows where those bad boys have been?

[CVC tries to get to his feet, but Lash still has hold of one. As such, CVC has to get to one foot and hop as he turns to face Graham. CVC shakes his head and begs Lash not to do anything, but Graham steps over and hits CVC with a spinning heel kick. Lash gets back to his feet and hits and standing moonsault!]

DDK:
Now get him up and out!

Angus:
I don’t think anyone has a problem getting CVC up.

DDK:
I think I need to wash my ears out of that filth.

[Graham grabs Lash by the head as Tucker G Alston comes to join the fun. Alston helps Lash lift CVC and suggests that they work together to throw him out. Together they cast CVC over the top rope and down to the floor!]

Angus:
NO!

[Graham and Alston turn back to the rest of the ring to celebrate, but it might be a little premature as CVC keeps hold of the top rope and pulls himself back onto the apron. He slides back in under the bottom rope and is signalled as still in by the ref!]

DDK:
CVC hung on! He’s still alive!

[Alston and Graham still don’t notice, but they’ve turned their attentions to STJ and Quell respectively. Chance hides out in the corner again, and Dragon Jones’ and Jeremy Knyte are recovering on opposite sides of the ring.]

[Graham and Quell tie up, Quell gets the better of him and nails him with a couple of European uppercuts. She knocks him back into the corner and shortarm clotheslines him right back out. STJ meanwhile surprises Alston with a kick to the midsection and follows up with a huge headbutt that rocks the rookie. Sam takes both of Alston’s legs out from under him and drags him to the middle of the ring!]

DDK:
You know what’s coming here!

Angus:
THE BIIIIIIG SWING!

[Round and round Sam Turner Jr. goes, where he’ll stop, nobody knows. They spin and spin and spin making even Jones, CVC and Knyte dizzy enough to want to stay down for the time being. Eventually Sam drops Tucker and grabs him by the back of the neck. He pulls Alston to his feet and heaves him up onto his shoulder!]

Angus:
AND HE IS OUTTA HERE!

[Sam runs for the ropes to dump Tucker out, but Alston slips down behind the big man. STJ turns around into a dropkick from Alston that sends him over the top and to the outside!]

Eliminated: Sam Turner Jr. by Tucker G Alston

DDK:
I’M DEE DEE KAY AND ESS TEE JAY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED BY TEE GEE AYY!

Angus:
OH EM GEE EFF EM EL!

[As the fans go wild for Alston’s dropkick Dragon Jones’ and Jeremy Knight’s eyes meet across the crowded ring in a romantic terrifying moment for Jones.]

Angus:
Uh... Oh...

[Knyte charges across the ring and looks like he’s going to shoulder tackle Jones into Row Z, but Dragon drops down and holds onto the top rope, low bridging the bearded behemoth! Jeremy Knyte tumbles to the outside!]

Eliminated: Jeremy Knight by Dragon Jones

DDK:
And Dragon Jones outsmarts Jeremy Knyte!

Angus:
He didn’t outsmart him, he got lucky! And that’s all Dragon Jones ever does.

[By the look on Dragon Jones’ face it certainly doesn’t look like that’s what he’d planned to do, but it’s what happened. Jones backed away from the ropes and took an axehandle to the back from CVC!]

Angus:
Looks like Jones’ luck has run out!

[Maybe attacking Dragon Jones, who wasn’t exactly hurting right then, wasn’t the smartest idea. Jones turns and advances on CVC. Chance begs and pleads, but Dragon isn’t having any of it. He plants a kick into Chance’s midsection before grabbing him by the head. He takes him to the corner and and smashes his face into the turnbuckle. He smashes it a second, third, fourth, fifth, blah blah blah. The fans count along until...]

NINE!

TEN!

[A dazed and confused Chance Von Crank stumbles from the corner as Deej, running on the adrenaline of eliminating Jeremy Knyte, signals to the fans he’s going to throw him out. He locks CVC in a rear waistlock!]

DDK:
He’s not going to...

Angus:
He is! He’s going to eliminate Chance with a German!

DDK:
No way, he can’t do that over the top!

[Jones lifts CVC, but he puts on the brakes. Another lift, but CVC blocks it again. Just then Virginia Quell charges in. The Trailer Park Prodigy breaks Jones’ grip though and dodges to the side. Quell carries on through hitting Dragon Jones with a clothesline and sends him tumbling over the top to the outside!]

Eliminated: Dragon Jones by Virginia Quell

DDK:
Jones gone now, and the eliminations are coming thick and fast!

Angus:
But as that field dwindles it’ll get harder and harder to surprise anyone. Keeping track of three guys is easier than nine!

[Jones isn’t happy on the outside. Quell doesn’t care though, but that’s not important. What is important is that CVC is right there to try and tip her over the top! The referees swarm Jones so that he can’t provide any assistance either way and order him way. Viginia tips over the top and lands on the apron. CVC relentlessly pushes her with his foot in an attempt to get her to the floor.]

[Lash Graham meanwhile is back up and runs for Alston. Tucker sticks an instinctive arm out to cut Graham off, but Lash uses it to take Tucker down with an armdrag. Tucker rolls into the corner and gets to his feet, Graham runs in but Tucker ducks and elevates Lash over head and to the outside!]

DDK:
Graham’s gone!

[Lash comes back and and lands both feet on the apron! Tucker turns and takes an elbow from Lash, who hops up onto the top ropes and sprinboards in with an dropkick attempt! Alston blocks it by grabbing Lash’s legs, drops him to the floor and turns him over into a half crab!]

DDK:
Care to make a prediction now we’re down to the final four?

Angus:
Anyone but Quell!

[Angus might be right to avoid Virginia, who’s still got CVC’s foot wedged between her neck and chin. She’s clawing at his legs, but those long nails won’t penetrate his boots. CVC drops to his knees and tries to use his hands to push Quell out, and that’s the opening she needs. Virginia digs her nails into the face of CVC, and keeps on digging. Chance howls in pain as he pulls away from Virginia and she gets back into the ring.]

Angus:
The Prince of the Pull Out knew he was spent there.

DDK:
The sad thing is I don’t think that’ll be the crudest joke of the evening.

[Virginia tries to get back some of her energy as Chance feels around his face to make sure he’s not bleeding everywhere.]

Angus:
Doesn’t matter what your face looks like buddy, those hookers ain’t doing it for your looks!

[Alston releases the crab and pulls Lash up to his feet. He plants a forearm into Lash’s lower back which knocks him into the ropes. Lash bounces back right into another forearm, and then a third. Alston catches Lash on the next bounce and lifts him for an atomic drop. He brings Lash down across his knee and then clotheslines Lash in the back of the head!]

DDK:
Alston just sapping the energy out of Lash Graham.

Angus:
It’s like Leech Seed.

DDK:
...

Angus:
Or Giga Drain

DDK:
...

Angus:
It’s like Dream Eater.

DDK:
...

Angus:
Or Drain Punch

DDK:
...

Angus:

Or Dr-.

DDK:
STOP LISTING POKEMON MOVES!

[Alston grabs Graham by the head and pushes him to the ropes. He doesn’t bounce off this time, but he does get lifts up and almost thrown out! CVC has managed to deduce that he’s not bleeding and closes back in on Virginia Quell. Quell grabs Chance by the tights and pulls him down into the ropes. Chance bounces throat first off of the middle rope and back up to his feet where Quell is waiting to jump on his back and lock in a piggyback sleeper!]

Angus:
You’re not going to get him out by putting him to sleep!

DDK:
But it might make it easier!

[CVC thrashes around and tries to reach back to grab Quell, be she avoids his hands times and time again. She tightens the grip on the sleeper and CVC drops to one knee!]

DDK:
Night night time for Chance!

[Graham drives a right hand into the midsection of Alston, giving himself a moment of rest before Alston tries to eliminate him again. Quell really, really, tightens on the sleeper. Another right from Graham give him a little longer to rest. CVC starts to show signs of life!]

Angus:
Chance is coming back!

DDK:
Do it Graham!

[Lash lands a third right and breaks Alston’s grip on him. He falls back into the ring through the ropes and saves himself from elimination again! Chance on the other hand pushes his way up to one knee, then to his feet, then charges at the ropes. Virginia tries to hold on, but CVC dumps her over the top and she can’t hang on any longer!]

Eliminated: Virginia Quell by Chance Von Crank

[Lash half heartedly tells Quell to ‘call him’ before doing the whole ‘licking the v’ sign to her. She slaps the apron angrily as the three remaining competitors face each other in a mexican stand off!]

DDK:
And we’re down to three!

Angus:
Lash Graham, Chance Von Crank, and Tucker G. Alston! One of these three will be walking out of Untouchable as the Jimmy Kort Memorial champeen!

[Chance Von Crank almost immediately tries to get the attention of Lash Graham, who’s eyeing up Tucker G. Alston. Alston only seems to have eyes for CVC though.]

DDK:
Alston’s buddy Python was eliminated earlier, and it was all orchestrated by CVC. You know he’s going to want to take that title home, not only for himself, but for Python as well.

Angus:
Don’t discount Lash Graham though. He took it to Claira St. Sure a couple of shows ago and narowly missed out on gold. He’ll be looking for the Southern Heritage title himself right now.

DDK:
And then you’ve got CVC. He seems to have made an enemy of everyone in this match.

Angus:
And now it looks like he’s trying to make a friend.

[Chance is still calling for Lash Graham, and finally he gets his attention. He points to Graham, then to himself, then Graham, then himself, suggesting a partnership. He crosses his heart and holds up his hands. Alston looks a little disheveled as Lash seems to contemplate the offer.]

DDK:
Don’t do it Lash!

[Tucker calls out to Lash to get him not to buy into CVC’s promise, but he doesn’t get time for a response as CVC rushes in and lifts a hard knee to Alston’s midsection. With Tucker doubles over CVC grabs him by the head and drops him with a DDT. Lash still looks conflicted, but he closes in on the two and helps CVC pull Alston to his feet.]

DDK:
No!

Angus:
Yes!

[CVC whips Alston to the corner and follows him in with a clothesline. He drops to all fours and beckons Lash in, who obliges and runs in with an assisted splash to Alston. Chance pushes Lash out of the way and picks him up, dropping him into a backbreaker!]

DDK:
It’s not looking good for Alston!

[CVC gets Alston back up and calls Lash over again. Together they whip Alston across the ring and look to take him down with a couple clothesline. Alston ducks it though, hits the other side and comes back with a double clothesline of his own!]

DDK:
NOW IT IS!

[Alston scrambles for CVC and mounts him. He rains down right hands to the temple of the Trailer Park Prodigy until Lash gets back up and grabs him by the neck. He pulls Tucker off of Lash, but Alston turns and hits Graham with an inverted atomic drop! Lash comes right back at Alston, but he ducks a clothesline attempt, turns around and dropkicks Graham back into the ropes!]

DDK:
Here we go!

[Alston charges in and tries to clothesline Lash, but Graham ducks and elevates Alston over the top. He lands on the apron but Lash hits him almost instantly with a dropkick! Alston tries to hang on to the top rope, and does manage it, but as he pulls himself into the ropes again he gets caught by Lash who has run to the ropes, jumped up to the middle one, springboarded back into the ring and connected with a flying forearm! Alston falls to the outside eliminated!]

Eliminated: Tucker G. Alston by Lash Graham

DDK:
Final two!

[You could still see the conflict in his eyes as Lash looked over the ropes and out to Alston on the outside. That was probably the worst possible thing he could have done as Chance Von Crank seized the opportunity and ran up behind him! With both hands linked around one of Lash’s thighs, CVC lifts him up and dumps him over the top!]

Eliminated: Lash Graham by Chance Von Crank!

Quimbey:
Your winner, and NEEEEW SOUTHERN HERITAGE CHAMPION... CHANCE! VON! CRANK!

[After a good twenty seconds of the natural reaction to such a result, we cut to a short Untouchable logo. The janitor's gotta sweep thrown bags of popcorn and soda cups out of the ring.]

DDK:
Hey, Angus?

[The Team Danger locker room, full-to-bursting with personality with only three men inside of it. All of them seated. One half-dressed, his jacket and shirt discarded on the bench beside him. Still dressed in the bluejeans that he had worn in from the street, Christian Light was staring at the floor, hands together, working his wrists in circles to stretch ‘em more loose.]

"I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!"

[Backstage.]

[Untouchables locker room.]

[There’s no opulence and no wealth-for-show going on back here tonight.  We’ve got Heidi Christenson, back in a dark corner, one ankle up way above her head, stretching her legs out, Ronnie Long and your reigning World Champion Jeff Andrews sitting on a sofa looking not entirely unlike Beavis and Butthead, and Kai Scott, in a state of agitation, pacing.]

[Andrews looks over his shoulder.]

Andrews:
Dude, would you sit down or something?  

Scott:
Oh I’m sorry, am I distracting you from doing nothing?

Andrews:
Yep, pretty much.

[Kai Scott doesn’t facepalm, but he wants to.  You can see it.]

Scott:
And you’re not even worrying about Heidi taking out Kelly?

Andrews:
Why would I?

Scott:
Because she was the weak link in Team Danger, taking her out didn’t provide us any benefit, it gave them even more reason to go into this match angry and motivated, and most importantly, it gave them room to maneuver.

Andrews:
Fuck that.  What’re they gonna do?  What can they possibly do that we can’t do better?

Scott:
It’s not that TD can do anything better than us, it’s about keeping one step ahead, and breaking Kelly’s arm put us two steps behind.

[Andrews doesn’t answer.]

[Heidi swings her leg down and walks over.]

Heidi:
And what the fuck are you doing? I told you – this isn’t any fitting way for the Untouchables to act.  You’re sneaking around, Jeff’s getting soft, and Long’s just sitting there.

Long:
I used a shovel to throttle a kid who didn’t deserve it, that’s something.

Heidi:
FUCK YOU!

[Andrews and Scott both wince.  Long probably would’ve if he was capable of or interested in conveying emotions more complicated than “hurrrrrr”.]

Heidi:
I took out Team Danger’s pretty little trophy, and I took out Tom Sawyer too, I took out Mike Sloan, and what have any of you even tried to do?  Kai, all you ever do is sneak and pick your spots, and Jeff, seriously, Sebastian Rain and then needing help to beat Greer?

[NOW Jeff Andrews doesn’t look smug anymore.]

Heidi:
You know what, I don’t even care anymore.  You boys do whatever you want, I’ll carry my end of this by hurting people.

Scott:
Heidi…

Heidi:
Shut it.

[Scott turns to Andrews.]

Scott:
See?

[Jeff Andrews doesn’t respond.  Instead, he gets up, walks to the other back corner of the room – the one opposite where Heidi was stretching, and…]

[Picks up a beer.]

[He flips the top off, and drains half the bottle in one shot.]

Scott:
God dammit.

Long:
You know Jeff as well as any of us.  He’s trying to say ‘yes, we’ve got a problem here…’

[End.]

[The camera shot opens up with Pittsburgh’s Mellon Arena in the distance. Two young men in Defiance gear meander about a small patch of shrubs, sharing what might be an illegal marijuana cigarette. It begs one to ask, where are the parents?]

[We cut to a camera following the Dark Horse. Mike Sloan walks into his trios locker room, looking a bit disgruntled.]

Sloan:
Dumb and Dumbass get over here…

[The trio looks at each other trying to figure out who he’s talking to.]

Sloan:
Penn… Luke, off of yer ass and get over here.

[Mike reaches into his pocket and produces the key to their salvation from each other.]

Sloan:
I’ve been talking to the referee and there is no way in hell they’re going to let ya’ll compete handcuffed to each other. So…

[Before he could even finish his sentence Curt grabs the key and begins to unlock the handcuffs.]

Sloan:
Well… fuck, I guess ya’ll get the point.

[Sloan looks at the two of them.]

Sloan: (pleading)
Ya’ll just don’t kill each other…alright? Just promise me that.

Penn:
No problem… we’ve had a lil chat. He knows I was just ribbin’ him. We’ve talked it over and I got his back. No sweat.

[Luke agrees with a slight nod.]

Sloan:
Good, well I gotta go and talk to a man about some pyro. Get suited up, ya’ll are on soon.

[Mike walks out of the door.]

Burke: (smiling)
Good job guys, ya’ll almost had me convinced. Like I told ya two before he walked in, ya’ll make it through tonight and I won’t have the two of you handcuffed facing each other for the next month. Besides sending that lollipop kid Alceo back to OZ would be a lil more fun than having to kick ya twos ass for costing us this title.

[Tyson looks back down at his wrists as he finishes taping them.]

Windham:
I can make it twenty minutes.

Penn:
Yeah, twenty minutes I can do that. Anything is better than smelling you. Do you use cow shit as a deodorant?

[Before Luke could respond Tyson throw a towel at Curt’s face enveloping Curt’s head on impact.]

[Fade out.]

Angus:
We really gonna let that dude back around?

DDK:
Who knows if we'll even be employed at the end of the night.

Angus:
Truth.

Quimbey:
The following contest is set for one fall with a 20 minute time limit, and it is for the Defiance World Trios Tag Championship!

[Cue the music.]

[A dark figure is produced on the DEF-A-TRON. Bright white lights flash from behind and all around him is cast into a shadow.]

♫ You take a mortal man ♫

[The spot light hits Mike Sloan standing front and center of his team. ]

♫ And put him in control ♫

[The rookie, Luke Windham.]

♫ Watch him become a god ♫

[The Mouthpiece, Curtis Penn.]

♫ Watch people’s heads a'roll ♫

[The Heatseeker, Tyson Burke.]

[They make their way down to the ring all following their manager.]

[They enter one at a time: Curt by sliding under the ropes baseball style, Tyson launches himself over the ropes tucking and rolling once his body hits the mat, while Luke steps over the top rope and joins his teammates in the center of the ring.]

[Sloan on the outside of the ring points up towards the DEF-a-Tron with his cane.]

MIKE SLOAN’S EXTRAVAGANZA!

Angus:
Untouchable is living up to the hype, as much as saying that Faghole Andrews' PPV

DDK:
This match should be no different there is no love loss here. Sloan’s Extravaganza has been having a rough week behind the scenes while it appears Alceo has his team running on all cylinders.

Quimbey:
Introducing first, Hailing from Pensacola, Florida… The Mouth Piece, Curtis Penn! Hailing from Silverhill, Alabama… Luke Windham! And Hailing from Atlanta, Georgia… The Heat Seeker… TYSON BURKE! Weighing in at approximately 833 Pounds, The Mike Sloan Extravaganza!

DDK:
This is for the Defiant Trios Tag Team Titles!

Angus:
This will rock balls. This team has been coming apart at the seams. What a time to be coming undone, one week before your big shot…

[Penn stands in the ring exclaiming he will start the match to the obvious dismay of Windham. Before the two begin to argue Sloan hits the apron with his cane to gain order.]

Angus:
See that’s exactly what I am talking about! Even after being handcuffed together they still are at it.

Quimbey:

And their opponents! Hailing from Brooklyn, New York, and weighing in at a combined weight of approximately 760 lbs! They are the Defiance Trios Tag Team Champions!  Introducing first!  TONY “TWO-HANDS” DE LUCA, and BIG VINNY!  And their team captain, ALCEOOOO... DENNNNNNNNTAAAAARI!!!

♫ How lucky can one guy be? ♫
♫ I kissed her and she kissed me ♫
♫ Like a fellow once said ♫
♫ 'Ain't that a kick in the head!' ♫

[And out come Dentari and the Gorillas wearing the belts. They walk toward the ring as all six men stare down each other.]

Angus:
All these men look ready.

DDK:
This is the moment they have all been waiting for this is for respect but most of all THE GOLD.

[Alceo stands in the ring after they hand the belts off to the referee. Dentari adjusts his wrestling gear as Tony and Vinny step outside the ropes and onto the apron.]

Angus:
You know Alceo has his team primed and ready to go.

[Referee Benny Boyle holds up the titles and then hands them off to the time keeper.]

DING! DING! DING!

[Alceo and Penn tie up in the middle of the ring. Penn gets the upper hand and slips around him. He slams Dentari over his head in a vicious suplex. Penn kicks him out of the ring and both his feet touch the floor.]

DDK:
We just got underway here and already Penn has got the upper hand!

Angus:
Here comes Two Hands!

[De Luca climbs over the top rope almost as soon as Dentari hits the outside. He clotheslines Penn quickly and attempts to take out Burke and Windham but is hit with a vicious kick by Windham! Tony hits the mat as Penn gets back to his feet and with a sly grin tags in Burke while staring down Windham.]

Angus:
I didn’t like that look he gave Windham. This is a FIGHT!

DDK:
I’m sure that is just what they are worried about.

Angus:
What?

DDK:
I’m sure they’re number one concern right now is what you think. LOWBLOW!

[Vinny takes the tag from Two Hands and immediately low blows Curtis Penn. Now being the legal man he begins to stomp the mouth piece around the ring. Not paying attention he has stomped him toward his team, and Burke reaches for a tag and..]

Angus:
Tag Made! Finally Burke gets tagged in.

D.K.
Gorilla’s look strong here in Pittsburgh.

[Burke hits Big Vinny with a low elbow to the gut. Elevated Cradle Neckbreaker!]

Angus:
Deep Fried Neckbreaker!

DDK:
Burke for the pin!

Angus:
1…….2……… Broke up by Alceo by a cunt ‘s hair! Almost won this shit right there.

[Alceo stomps Burke as the referee moves in to make Dentari go to the apron.  Burke leaps up and grabs hold of Vinny. Tossing him through the ropes right at Dentari, who side steps Vinny.  Burke then taunts Alceo to tag in. He does so as Vinny’s feet hit the floor on the outside. Alceo gets Burke in a headlock and twists his arm to apply pressure. They bounce around the ring and a reaching Windham tags in. Dentari releases his hold but not before being stomped in the ribs. Windham grapples him to the mat and Vinny gives him a german suplex from behind and rolls out of the ring. Dentari gains control of Windham quickly.  Alceo begins to argue with the referee getting around him so his back is to his corner. Vinny and De Luca begin stomping Windham in the corner.]

Angus:
Alceo for the pin!!!

DDK:
The pin is broken up by Burke.

[Curtis leaps upon the apron as the pin is broken up. The Gorilla’s do not notice him as he drop kicks De Luca in the face and he falls off taking his partner with him. They hit the floor as Penn rushes back to his corner just as Windham falls into the corner crawling away from Dentari. He tags Penn back in. Penn gets to Dentari as he is still on his knees.  Busaiku Knee Kick to the face!]

Angus:
Your Face Is Fucked!!!!!

DDK:
Penn for Pinn! One………Two……TT… KICKOUT BY Alceo!

[Dentari rolls out of the ring and De Luca slides in for the tag. Penn tags in Burke as Sloan argues with Windham for making the tag in earlier.  Burke dropkicks Tony off his feet but he jumps right back up. Burke nails him with another dropkick. He drops kicks him a third time and he falls towards his corner.]

DDK:
Big Vinny makes the tag!

Angus:
Dentari is finally back to his feet on the outside.

[Alceo notices the referee with his back to him. He rushes on the outside of the ring towards Mike Sloan. He takes out his legs out violently. Sloan thrashes around on the ground in pain. Vinny and Burke swap licks briefly before Vinny overpowers him. He hits the ropes and nearly takes Burke’s head off with a clothesline, he spins through the air hitting the mat hard. He hits the mat as Vinny tags in Dentari. He immediately goes for the pin.]

Angus:
Dentari for the pin!  One….Two… Broke up by Curtis Penn.

DDK:
That clothesline was insane! It spun Burke completely around in the air.

[Windham tends to Sloan after noticing him down on the outside. Burke rolls out of the ring and Windham notices this and tags in as Burke and Curtis check on Sloan. Tony and Big Vinny rush Burke and Penn. They begin hammering them both and stomping on Sloan’s leg on the outside. The referee is preoccupied with the action in the ring. Windham goes for a DDT but it is quickly reversed as Alceo picks him up over his head.  Windham’s neck meets the top rope and he hits the mat awkward.  Outside the ring both teams head for the corner after the throw down. Sloan is being looked after by the ring doctor.  Alceo drop kicks Windham in the head and he hits his knees, Dentari bounces off the ropes on the opposite side.]

Angus:
Shining Wizard, Fuck Yeah!

DDK:
He nailed it.

[Rather than go for a pin he picks up Windham. He tosses him into the gorilla’s corner. Alceo picks him up and begins choking him with the ropes. The referee begins his count as Dentari milks every second available choking him out. He releases his hold and backs up holding his hands up arguing with the referee leading him away from the gorilla’s stomping Windham.]

DDK:
Windham is taking a beating.

[Windham makes a dash for the ropes falling out and hitting his feet on the outside before going down.  Curtis Penn already makes his way through the ropes. The Mouth Piece lunges at Dentari. Penn picks up up with a belly to belly suplex, he holds onto to Dentari as he stands up for another and still he holds onto him. He nails him again with a belly to belly suplex. All three hitting they’re mark, Alceo falls out of the ring. Vinny and De Luca enter the ring and Penn clotheslines both back over the ropes and to the outside with Dentari.]

Angus:
Curtis Penn has cleared the ring! Bodies everywhere!

DDK:
The referee begins his count, Dentari and the Gorilla’s are in trouble here tonight.

[Penn rolls out of the ring and retrieves Alceo as Vinny and Tony struggle to their feet. Penn goes for the pin!]

DDK:
Kick OUT BY DENTARI!

Angus:
We almost had new champions right there! That coulda been the end of Our Thing, capiche?

[Dentari struggles toward the ropes to make it to his feet. Penn walks over to make a tag and tags in Burke. As Burke goes through the ropes he is tagged by Windham who gets in the ring. Burke looks at Windham with distaste as Curtis Penn begins cursing at Windham, he reaches for him to make a tag back in and does so successfully. Windham ducks and just misses the drop kick by Dentari. Penn is not as lucky as he takes a direct kick to the face. Dentari jumps back up quickly. He pulls Burke’s head down on the ropes springing him out of the ring. Windham makes a dash for Dentari who takes his legs out. Dentari positions himself behind Windham for the solid running boot to the back of Windham’s skull. ]

DDK:
An Offer You Can't Refuse!!!!!!

Angus:
FOR THE PIN!

DDK:
One!

Angus:
Two!

DDK:
Three!!

Angus:
Dentari and the Gorilla’s have won this championship bout!

[Dentari stands in the ring holding all the belts. Vinny and De Luca join him in the ring as he hands them the belts. Chaos outside the ring as Mike Sloan’s Extravaganza continues to argue even with injuries and the match being over.]

Angus:
In the end it got them.

DDK:
Indeed, but what a battle this was, though!

Angus:
I knew from the very beginning that in the end Dentari would find a way to use that team disorganization to his advantage. Team Sloan have lost this match up clean. Alceo Dentari, on the other hand, did just what he set out to do all along. Retain.

DDK:
We've got an interview with the Egobuster up next, and stay tuned for the big defense of the FIST of DEFIANCE.

Angus:
Very first pay-per-view. Jeff Andrews can suck my-

[Backstage at the Mellon area.]

[An interview area has been set up. A banner for Untouchable 2013 is hanging on the wall in the background and Dan Ryan is standing front and center, chin up, left fist across his stomach in his right hand. Ryan has no sunglasses on, stares straight ahead, and his trademark smirk is replaced by a determined sneer.]

Dan Ryan:
Tonight is the night. Tonight, Claira, is the night, right here in the Steel City, that you get a front row seat to the start of something. Tonight, there are no one-liners, no jokes, no Princess Buttercup, no Zelda. No, tonight is the night I step into the ring and make a statement.

It's not just about championship gold, although it has to be about it some. It's about what it's always been about for me.

I'm stepping onto the big stage and creating a moment.

For fifteen years I've walked through the curtain and listened to the roar of thousands of fans, looked into their eyes and delivered their money's worth and then some. For fifteen years I've walked into arenas and commanded the attention of the world. For fifteen years I've climbed into that ring and staked my claim as one of the best ever.

Tonight, Claira, might as well be my DEFIANCE debut.

Tonight I wrestle for my first DEFIANCE championship, and for me, it's gonna be like it's the first gold I've ever had the chance to attain. I'm getting into the ring tonight like I've been held down my whole life, like I've never tasted that spotlight, never felt like the best in the building. Tonight, Claira, I'm as hungry as I've ever been. I'll throw you around the ring. I'll twist you into knots that would make an Eagle Scout jealous. And yes...... I'll pummel you until you can no longer move.

All around dominance, Claira. That's what you're facing tonight. It's all just beginning.

Welcome to your end.

[Ryan turns and simply walks out of frame as the scene ends and cuts down the hall. The cameraman honestly didn't even need to cut. He just walked like ten paces to catch the next view.]

[The Untouchables locker room. That’s where Tom was bound. His cowboy hat was plunked firmly down on his head, and even tilted forward. He meant business. The kid’s jaw was set, his eyes all grimm and frostbitten, hardcore as FUCK.]

Lance Warner:
I’m standing backstage with the reigning FIST of Defiance, Claira St. Sure, and her manager, Diane Parker.

[The reigning FIST of Defiance is dressed and ready to go, in her ring robes, hood down.  Diane hasn’t wrestled since that one spot in the battle royal a few months ago, so she’s just wearing jeans and a T-shirt.]

Warner:
Claira, Dan Ryan’s latest comments, which you didn’t get a chance to respond to-

Diane:
Let me stop you right there, Lance, because there’s a difference between having a chance and having the interest.  Dan Ryan’s won a buttload of titles, he outweighs Claira by 477%, and he’s not just the most tiresomely conceited individual I’ve ever listened to, he’s conceited about how conceited he is.  

Warner:
With all due respect, Dan Ryan is a World Champion from multiple promotions…

Diane:
And none of those are Defiance, so who cares?  Think about it this way, Lance.  If Drew Siler had come in here talking about how many titles he’d won, would anyone have thought he was a genius?  Did Rizzo and his swagger and his braggadocio even get in the door? Of course not.  Building a resume is easy, and bragging about how awesome you were in another fed is easy too.  Hey, did you know Claira won the Intragalactic Awesomeweight Championship 38 times while she was in Mexico?

Warner:
That’s… not true.  Is it?

Diane:
Why does it matter if it’s true or not?  Lance, do you remember J Stevenson?

Warner:
Yes, I do, he was a big player at the beginning of-

Diane:
You don’t have to answer that.  Everyone knows who J Stevenson was.  J Stevenson was the third biggest joke behind Kasper Braddock and Spooky Doom to work for Defiance.  J Stevenson was a bigger joke than Siler, because he lasted longer and actually won a match or two.  J Stevenson came into Defiance full of conceit and with a completely fucked up sense of his importance in the grand scheme of things.  J Stevenson postured about how awesome he was in some other fed that wasn’t Defiance that nobody cared about.  J Stevenson strutted around and wondered why nobody cared about him.  And now J Stevenson has put on a hundred pounds, bleached his hair, and changed his name to Dan Ryan.

Claira:
J Stevenson also tapped out to the Truly Untouchabreaker during my first match.

Diane:
So in conclusion, fuck Dan Ryan, Claira’s going to cut him down to size, break his shoulder and make him humble.

Claira:
An no one will care.  But I’ll still be the FIST of Defiance, so it will all be alright.

[Claira and Diane walk off.]

Warner:
Harsh words from the champion and her manager.  Back to you guys, Darren and Angus!

Angus:
I've made my opinion on this upcoming match very clear and I stand by it, but... holy fucking burn.  If Diane could talk like that, why'd she wait this long to start?

Quimbey: 
The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the FIST of DEFIANCE CHAMPIONSHIP!  Introducing the challenger, hailing from Houston, Texas, and weighing in at 305 pounds!! He... is... DAAAAANNNN... RYYYYYYAAAANNNNN!!!

[The camera shot opens up backstage at the Mellon Arena. A few stagehands mill about. Seth Stratton comes striding into the shot, a shit eating grin on his bearded face. He throws a mock pistol shot to the camera, then thumbs to himself, signifying his fundamental superiority. He’s so enamored with the camera that he fails to see Head of Defiance security ‘Buffalo’ Brian Slater, and slams right into him.]

[Backstage.]

Angus:
HOLY FUCKING SHIT DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIEM IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[From the back we see emerge the other half of The Blood Diamonds. Still dressed in his gear and still very much so basking in the glow of his own victory earlier in the night. The new number one contender to the FIST of Defiance... the “Bombastic” Bronson Box. The Wargod strolls over to where Hector Perez is propping up the still very much bleeding “Socialite” Edward White. Bronson tosses the microphone in his left hand about a bit obviously contemplating his words very carefully.]

[The door to the Team Danger locker room opens without even so much as a knock. Standing in the doorway, looking like a kid who used to have a puppy, now just has roadkill, was Tom Sawyer. His denim jacket was gone, leaving him in just a heavily-scissored orange-and-red SAWYER MADNESS tee-shirt. The writing was all lightning-style, and diagonal.]