Retaliation 4

Tonight is a very special Retaliation as it is the official Untouchable Pre-show. Have you purchased Untouchable yet on Pay-PerView? If not, you need to hurry because it begins in just one hour. Until then, you click

Welcome folks to the Retaliation taping dark match results. I'm the newest addition to the DEFIANCEwrestling.com website, your correspondent for all things DEFIANCE, David Smith. Retaliation is in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania at the Mellon Area. The crowd is still packing in as they are getting ready for tonight's Pay-Per View Untouchable which is up right after this stream!

Tucker G. Alston vs Sam Turner, Jr.

Alston took control early on when he was able to place Sam Turn Jr. into a headlock from a lock up position, then sending him into the ropes and following up with a hip toss. However, Turner was able to gather some momentum by catching an unsuspecting Tucker Alston with a big boot.

Sam Turner Jr. made a critical mistake after whipping Tucker into the corner. he attempted to follow up with a splash, only for Alston to move. Tucker used the situation to list Turner to his feet and hit the Sanctuary for the three count in a good back and forward bout.

Dragon Jones  vs Sam Johnson

Dragon Jones pumped the crowd up as he came to put on a fight worthy of the PPV itself. From the bell, Dragon Jones unleashed a fury upon Sam Johnson with vicious lefts and rights into uppercuts. However, it was when he began to hit a series of visually stunning suplexes that we knew this match was over. There was nothing from Sam Johnson expect the pain and agony of being on the receiving end of Seven Feet Under from Dragon Jones who picked up the win.

Jeremy Knyte vs Lash Graham

In the third and final dark match before Retaliation, Jeremy Knyte attempted to over power Lash Gram from the get go, and succeeded for a moment. However, after a dropkick from nowhere, Graham followed up with a series of quick and precise moves. This was thwarted when Jeremy Knyte caught Graham in the midsection with his knees after a standing moonsault attempt.

Knyte would go on to control the back, bringing it back to a slow and steady pace. He introduced Lash Graham's head to the top turnbuckle before realizing he would not be able to do any more damage to Lash's head than already done. Knyte would turn his back on Graham briefly in a move that would cost him the match as Lash pulled Knyte over into a schoolboy out of nowhere and secured the three count.

[After reading the results from before the taping, you realize "Oh Fuck! It begins to stream in about a minute!"  You quickly click the link that directly tells you to STREAM RETALIATION.

Buffering....

Buffering...

Even more buffering...]

[Seriously, it's 2013, it's time to get high speed internet you cheap fuck.]

[Buffering... 97%.... no movement... the hourglass appears and begins to spin...

Frustration....

You sigh, placing your forehead into your hand and wondering if this is really life before finally it moves to 99%....

Buffering....

100....]

[The screen is black, it is time for.... RETALIATION@~! A bad ass intro video plays with shiny sparkles and the Retaliation logo busting through. "Oh shit" you think to yourself, "DEFIANCE is moving up in the world!"]

^ I Promise, It Will Get Better. Just Pretend for Now. ^

[As the logo burst through the screen, we go to an energized crowd of Pittsburgh's finest wresting fans screaming their heads off, ready for even more action packed, fucking awesome DEFIANCE action. We zoom in on the fans as the camera moves from the back of the arena toward the stage.

These DEFIANCE fans are one of a kind, which can be seen by the various signs in the crowd:

Untouchable!

I Want Cancer Jiles to Touch Me.

I Get to View this Because I Paid.

Where is Eric Dane?

As we finally find the stage, the camera rest upon it, showing off the new Retaliation set. Three screens and a ton of metal, yea, this is the big leagues baby.]

[Strobe lights begin to flash across the bottom of the entrance set as a set of smoke machines let out blast of fog. The fans get crazy as they know, RETALIATION is about to begin.]

[The camera fades from the stage to actually focus on the two men sitting behind the  broadcast table.]

Mayer:
Here we are! It's time for the special Untouchable pre-show!

Stein:
If you haven't ordered the pay-per-view yet, you need to as it is guaranteed to be better than your mother's home made meatloaf!

Mayer:
That's not hard to do at all Frank.

Stein:
Enough talking, it's time. I know the fans out there are ready. Let's get it... RETALIATION IS HERE! Following directly, live on pay-per-view... UNTOUCHABLE!

Mayer:
Lets move to the ring where The Blood Diamonds and Philospher Kings are ready to kick Retaliation off.

[Dante runs to the nearby corner turnbuckle, climbing. He leaps off, flipping backward in the air and landing across FDJ.]

[FDJ pushes himself up. Eddie Dante runs at him and leaps. FDJ catches him, slamming Dante to the mat. James walks over and tags in Nicky Corozzo.]

[Nicky Corozzo heads toward Eddie Dante who slides out of the ring quickly.]

[Suddenly, an excited commotion breaks out in some ringside audience seats. The action appears onscreen as the camera pans over to catch it and we see a figure make his way through the fans in that section, all of whom have jumped to their feet to try to score a high five or lay a hand on him. There is no security personnel to hold them back. Grinning, he jumps up to stand on a now empty seat, microphone in hand.]

Python:

What's up, Pittsburgh?

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Python:

I said WHAT THE FUCK IS UP, PITTSBURGH?

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Python:

You lucky sons a' bitches are in for a long night full of awesome.

[The capacity crowd voices their approval. The young highflyer pauses with a smile as he spots a nearby young fan holding a homemade paper sign with his face on it.]  

Python:

Ya know, this city holds a lot of special memories for me. When I was a kid, the first wrestling show I ever went to with my dad was right over at the Civic. Remember it like it was yesterday. We drove in from Jersey and I had on my favorite t-shirt for my favorite tag team at the time, Weppon X. They had the main event slot defending the tag titles against these asshole brothers Cliff and Scott, who had been trying for weeks to win acceptance into an equally asshole clique who was hellbent on taking down my boys in Weppon X.  So there I am, wide eyed and star struck in the front row as the match unfolded. Standing on the chair, screaming at the guys in the ring, the whole nine yards. I was like... I dunno, maybe seven or eight years old. And then, to my horror... one of the guys from the clique rolled out from under the ring with a chair, ref had his back turned, yada yada yada, my night ended with Cliff and Scott taking home the gold and the whole clique pummeling an unconscious Weppon X in the ring until security had to come break it up. As I stood  completely heartbroken and lost in my disbelief, my dad put his hand on my shoulder and told me something that I'll live by until the day I die. He said "Matt, there are a lot of shitty people in this world and you can't take them all on yourself. But if you step up to deal with yours, there will be others who step up to deal with the rest."

[A heavy pause.]

Python:

Later tonight, I'm going up against Chance von Crank.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Python:

Yeah, "booooooo!" They don't come any shittier than that guy. Now, I'm not in this business to hurt people. I don't do what I do for the end result, I do it because I love it and I love giving to people what my favorite wrestlers have given to me over the years. Hope, memories, something to cheer for. Because at the end of the day... life is fucking hard, man. For you, for me, for everyone. And all most people want are moments to grab onto and live in, to get away from the stress of work and shitty people and politics and depressing stories on the news and the economy and really just to feel great. Even if it's only for an hour or two, or a couple of minutes. So yeah, I love having the opportunity to do what I do. And like I said, I don't do it to hurt people. But every once in a while, someone comes along who makes me cherish every second of kicking their ass.    

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Python:

You can call me names, you can have your fun, you can try to cut me down. That's fair play in this game. But Cranky, you've crossed a very difficult line between what's fair play and what's disrespectful to your profession. When you're playing a part in giving professional wrestling  a shitty reputation, that's where it gets personal for me. I know I can speak for a lot of guys in that locker room when I say that we work hard to make this company and this profession as a whole entertaining. Exciting. Relevant and interesting. And above all... respectable. I may not see eye to eye with some of those guys, but we have that common goal. We demand respect for this business that we love. And I'll be damned if I'm going to let a second-rate...

OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Python:

No-talent...

OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Python:

Shit-brained...

OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Python:

Waste of roster space motherfucker like you come in here and ruin that!
 

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Python:

And furthermore, good people of Pittsburgh... Chance von Crank has disrespected you. The fans. And that is the last straw for me. So I'm going to give you all a very, very special gift. Chance von Crank has taken to flashing us his nads for  the past week, yeah? Well, now that I know where to find them, I'm going to kick them very squarely tonight. Three times. Just for you guys.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Python:

As of this moment, the Chance von Crank Hat Trick Nut Kick Challenge is officially underway! You're very welcome. I'd better hear you guys keeping score.

[With that, Python tosses the mic to a crew member at ringside, slaps a few hands, and makes his way through the mob of fans crowding the aisle around him. He eventually reaches a backstage entrance, gives a final salute to the cheering fans, and disappears.] 

Meyer:
I’ve got to say, I’ve been looking forward to this one all night!

Stein:
Why am I not surprised?  Fans, up next we’ve got the singles match between Jane Katze of the Blood Diamonds, and Lisa Loeh of Tres Brujas.

Meyer:
I know Jane’s actually a good wrestler with plenty of ways to hurt you, and I know that Lisa’s got the wrestling pedigree, but she’s a funny one – she’s hot, but I can’t really get a feel for what she’s all about.

Stein:
I’m sure she’d never let you get away with it.

Meyer:
Can’t blame me for hoping, though!

[Jane Katze has just finished her ring entrance.]

[The arena lights dim and a glowing blue and pink backdrop appears behind the stage entrance. A black silhouette of a girl struts out in front of it. That girl dances, her hips swinging, her back arching, as the music increases in volume.]

♫ Hey little cookie take a walk my way ♫
♫ I like to hear what you have to say ♫
♫ You know the truth and you're so put together ♫
♫ Baby I could stick you on the lip of forever ♫
♫ Even a volcano has a price to pay ♫

Stein:
Lisa, not accompanied by the other members of Tres Brujas to this match.  Nor is Jane accompanied by any of the Blood Diamonds.

[As the lights come on, Lisa flings her head and hair back, then walks, almost skips, to the ring. Up the stairs, over the middle rope in a most lascivious fashion, and into the ring.

♫ You ♫
♫ Stand ♫
♫ On the edge ♫
♫ Of a silver future ♫

Meyer:
How I envy the middle rope when she does that.

[As Lisa raises an index finger to her mouth and looks Jane up and down, her music fades.]

[Tie-up.]

[Jane sprawls, drags Lisa down with her, chickenwings one arm, then the second arm, then knots her legs around Lisa’s throat in a crook scissor and rolls to the side.  Lisa laboriously kicks her way to the ropes.]

[Jane lets go slowly.  Lisa stands up, Jane’s right on her, jumping to apply a bodyscissor – and Lisa slams her into the mat, steps over her legs, applies a half crab, switches to an STF, hammerlocks one arm, and ties up the other one, then kneels up, torqing Jane’s back.]

Stein:
Impressive, I wasn’t aware that Lisa could… well, wrestle.

Meyer:
My understanding is that she can wrestle a lot better than she lets on, she just doesn’t like to.

[Jane gets her free leg inside the hold to break loose, upends Lisa onto her shoulders, sits down on the backs of her knees for a pin.  One… two… and Lisa manages to kick her off.  Jane’s right back on it, hooking a waistlock – Lisa does a quick sit-out to reverse, takes Jane down to the mat, and then applies an amateur wrestling style full body press.  And hooks Jane’s legs up in a grapevine hold for good measure.]

[Now as your humble narrator, I’m trying to keep this professional and not go into details about moaning and writhing and whether the ring is cold or something else is going on here, so we’ll just be talking about the moves – aside from this bit.  Right.]

[Jane manages to flip Lisa over her shoulders.  And frustrated, instead of trying a scissorhold, she shuffle kicks Lisa in the jaw, knocking her to the mat.  One, TWO… Kickout!]

Stein:
Narrow escape by Lisa Loeh there, who I don’t think was expecting this to turn into a real wrestling match kind of match.

[Jane picks her back up, hooks the guillotine headlock, and Lisa takes her over in a Northern Lights suplex!  One, two, kickout.]

[Lisa aims a Kenka kick at Jane’s head.  Jane, who’s a trained martial artist, ducks the hard but clumsy kick easily. Chickenwinging both of Lisa’s arms, she hooks her up in the Champagne Dreams (stunt rider stretch).  Moving inch by inch, Lisa manages to get to the ropes.]

Meyer:
It takes a lot of lower body strength to fight the leverage of the stunt rider stretch.  I can’t help but wonder how Lisa would fare if she adopted some of Jane’s moves.

Stein:
You would wonder that.

[Jane kicks Lisa in the head and throws her into the corner.  She then stands on the middle rope.]

Stein:
I’ve seen this, it’s a modified dropkick she calls the Caviar Dreams.

Meyer:
Odd name. Maybe her feet taste like caviar.

[Jane does the banzai bounce and swings her feet down.]

[Lisa has rolled out of the way at the last second.]

[Jane hits the turnbuckle, lands on her back, Lisa grabs her ankles, rolls over her into a tight schoolboy (schoolgirl?) press, and plants her ankles back behind her own head!  One, two, and THREE!]

Meyer:
Replay!

[Lisa doesn’t bother hanging around in the ring to gloat about her win, she’s out of the ring as soon as Jane rolls to her feet and she struts up the ramp like she’s on a catwalk.]

Stein:
Well fans, do not let it be said that Defiance doesn’t deliver what it promises.  We promised fanservice, you got it.

[Christie Zane flashes across the big screen as the camera’s cut back stage.]

Christie Zane:
I’m here with The Trailer Park Prodigy, Chance Von Crank.

[cVc comes into focus as the camera pans out. The crowd fills the arena with boos. He struts right up to Christie Zane. He has something over his left shoulder that looks like a t-shirt gun.]

cVc:
Oh yeah? Your Quarterback’s a rapist.

[Boo’s rain down in the arena as he steps back with a huge grin across his face.]

cVc:
Looking at some of these faces around this arena I can see where rape would be okay because how else you ugly son of a bitches gonna get pussy any other way? I’m not here to talk about why Pittsburgh is full of shitheads. I will say this, Look at Christie’s rack. GOTTT-DAMN!  What a week this has been for the Shock-N-Rolla…

[The crowd inside the arena still booing as Chance can’t even speak over them. He takes the t-shirt gun off his back and heads for. Chance heads for the steps.]

*Pump Shotgun Cocks*

*Shotgun Blast*

“ SHOCK N ROLLA…”

“HERE TO SHOW YA…”

“Cocked Back and Fucking Loaded!”

“Chance! Von! Crank!”

[Chance walks out onto the stage. His new theme music blasts over the arena. The crowd showers boo’s on him as he begins shooting the t-shirt gun wildly into the crowd. One of the fans who catches a shirt holds it up and a camera locates them. “#RandomNutSack” is written across it. Chance fires the gun over and over as he walks toward the ring. He throws the gun down as he approaches the announcers table.  He grabs the headset off Mayer’s here as he jumps up on the announce table.]

cVc:
Now Now… No sense in hating The Reason You Came.  I came here for one reason tonight and came even knowing you towel swinging bitches all would be here. Chant stupid shit all you like Pittsburgh! You’re just like the rest of this goddamned country. Look at yourselves to find that horror you call a reflection. You worship pictures in People magazine in hope of inspiration on individualism? You find Comfort and Solace in your own fake Delusion Of Grandeur. 

[The crowd begins to chant, “Yussss”.]

cVc:
Tonight is my night… Everyone knows what a worthy opponent I have coming to the ring, he use to be this and that or something another important… Blah, Blah no one wants to hear that shit you call good.  I just shot t-shirts all over this arena making fun of showing you my nut sack and you want to think you can talk shit? This ole boy does it for a living. Like this crowd I can tell you all to eat shit and die then laugh my ass off about it later.  

BBBOOOOOOOOOO!!!

cVc:
You all know why I am here and just what it is I came to do. I didn’t come here to put in a good effort and then ride off into the sunset just happy for the shot. Oh No… You could further from the truth, Pittsburgh… I came here to win a fucking strap, my first real one infact. People outside screaming for my head and you inside lucky enough to have a yellow towel to wipe up your own piss after you see what I’m about to do here tonight. Make history and finally and let you all here and everyone watching on Defiancewrestling.com just exactly what the Trailer Park Prodigy is doing here on this night.

["Cancer's Better" chant breakouts throughout the arena. Chance bites his lower lip and takes off his rhinestone robe and drops it on Stein's head. Chance has his in ring gear on plus his officially licensed "Don't Be Such A Cock+Sucker" t-shirt.

cVc:
Haha, how I do hate this shithole. You should all rememeber one thing because I know you have watched all my matches... One thing that hasn't happened yet is someone pinning my shoulders against the mat for a one... two... three... That's What. Tonight much like Jeff Andrews is, i'm Untouchable. Be Defiant.

[Chance closes his eyes as he takes the headset off his head and holds the mic to his mouth and the rest of the headset crunched in his closed fist.]

cVc:
“Shock N Rolla…. Here to Show Ya… Cocked Back and Fucking Loaded…”

[Chance then holds the headset toward the crowd.]

Crowd:
“Chance Von CRANK!”