DEFIANCE Uncut 163

DDK:
We’ve got some great action coming up on UNCUT tonight starting with none other than one of the most decorated tag teams in DEFIANCE history! The Lucky Sevens - Max, Mason and Lonnie Luck - take on The Dunson Clan to kick off the show! 

Lance:
While the twins came up empty by trying to win the Unified Tag Team titles, they are always contenders and they’d love nothing more to get another shot at the belts now held by M4NTRA!

DDK:
That they would! We are now going to the ring to kick off UNCUT! The Lucky Sevens in action! 

A big red and black playing card graphic appears on the DEFIA-Tron!!!

LUCK DYNASTY
2X DEFIANCE Unified Tag Team Champions
2X DEFIANTS of the Year
DEFIANCE’S Hottest Tag Team
&
Now DEFIANCE’s Hottest Trio!!!

♫ “World On Fire” by Corrosion of Conformity ♫

Red and green-colored fire explodes from both side of the stage! With their backs to each other, the Twin Terrors of DEFIANCE both point at the ring, with Mason wearing black trunks with green flames and Max wearing black trunks with red flames.. And now standing in front of them … “The Pocket Ace” Lonnie Luck wearing white trunks with black clubs and spades down the left leg and red hearts and diamonds down the right side. 

Darren Quimbey:
Introducing team number two at a combined weight of 796 pounds … “The Beast of the Bright Lights” Max Luck! “The Maim Event Player” Mason Luck and “The Pocket Ace” Lonnie Luck … THE LUCKYYYYYYYYYY SEVENSSSSSS!!!

The entire New Orleans Faithful come unglued for one of the most decorated tag teams in DEFIANCE Wrestling history! Lonnie leads the charge and he looks extra motivated to prove himself tonight when the Luck Dynasty reach the ring. Lonnie slides under the bottom rope to enter the ring while Mason and Max stand on either side of the ring, then step over the ropes in unison. The family poses together in the squared circle and red and green pyro shoot up from the turnbuckles! 

DDK:
What a big entrance to kick off Uncut! All eyes now turn towards Acts of DEFIANCE in a few months and you can bet Lonnie Luck and the Lucky Sevens want another crack at some gold!

Off to the side, the members of The Dunson Clan stand on their side of the ring. 

Darren Quimbey:
And their opponents… hailing from Mt. Hope, West Virginia… at a combined weight of 684 pounds… Todd, Richie and Finn… THE DUNSON CLAN!!!

The diva-esque brawler, Todd. The no-nonsense jeans-wearing Richie. The stout Finn Dunson. They pose and as the party music ends, they decide who will start. The Dunson family chooses Richie Dunson for their side. Lonnie looks up at Mason and Max and tells them he wants the tag so they let him have it.

DING DING

Lonnie mixes it up with Richie Dunson. The Pocket Ace wants a lock-up, but Richie puts a boot to the gut and attacks The Pocket Ace with another boot. Luck gets sent into the ropes and then gets whipped, but grabs his hair and snaps him back to the mat! Mason and Max both point at Lonnie and want to stop him, but Lonnie holds his head and tells the brothers “no.”

DDK:
Richie Dunson doesn’t want either brother in this match! I don’t know how wise that is!

Lance:
I’m not sure what the meaning of this is?

Richie grabs onto Lonnie by his arm and a wild whip sends him into the corner before charging. But when he gets to the corner, Lonnie gets both feet up and then kicks him in the gut. He jumps onto the middle rope and then leaps off, hitting a double stomp to his back on the way down! Lonnie lands on his feet to applause from the DEFIANCE Wrestling Faithful while Richie gets a free back adjustment. 

DDK:
Great double stomp off the ropes by Lonnie Luck! And there’s a tag to Max Luck! 

The Beast of the Bright Lights steps in and gets a massive ovation! Richie tries to run away but he’s grabbed by the back of his shirt and then picked up. Max is holding Richie on his shoulders and then slams him down with a big scoop slam. He pumps a fist up and then walks back for Mason to tag himself in. Max leaps in the air … 

DDK:
Box Cars elbow drop! 

Max leaves the ring and then Mason follows that with the big running leg drop across the neck! 

Lance:
What a leg drop that was, brother! 

DDK:
Mason is going for a cover! 

One … 

Two … 

The cover is broken up by Finn Dunson. Paul Dunson is at ringside shouting for his kids to try harder! 

DDK:
We’ve got a tale of two families! The Dunson Clan are looking for an upset and the Luck Dynasty want to win in the opening match! 

Mason Luck looks at Richie with a look like he’s lost his mind and then rolls him over to the corner begging for one of the Dunsons to tag in. 

Lance:
Mason Luck doesn't care who wants to fight, he’ll just do it! 

When Todd and Finn do not want to tag, Mason turns around and then even offers them a free tag. Todd tags in but he doesn’t see that Mason has tagged Lonnie. Lonnie climbs the top rope and as Todd runs in, he gets Lonnie thrown directly at him!

DDK:
Whoa!!! Mason gives the assist to Lonnie Luck with that assisted flying forearm off the top rope! They call that the Rocket Ace! 

Lonnie goes for a pin!

One … 

Two … 

But Finn breaks up the cover by hitting Lonnie with a rolling senton splash! 

Lance:
Finn Dunson just broke that combo up! 

Lonnie is hurt now with the Dunson Clan having a chance to take over. Finn Dunson rolls back into his corner and that frees up Todd Dunson to get a tag. Paul Dunson is as happy as a pig in mud watching big Finn Dunson picking up Lonnie Luck and then ramming him into their corner out of a bear hug. He drives his back into the corner again. He does it one more time and then hits a belly-to-belly suplex. Mason and Max Luck are watching their cousin get picked apart. 

Lance:
In just a quick few moves, the Dunson Clan have taken over here!

DDK:
They have! This would be a tremendous win for the Dunsons if they can pull it together! 

Finn tags Richie and holds Lonnie in an abdominal stretch to give Richie a free punch to his exposed ribs. He hits Lonnie with a snap suplex. Todd is tagged in and then he comes in with a rolling thunder senton across his chest! Todd makes a cover. 

One … 

Two … 

No!!!

DDK:
Lonnie is being attacked from all sides by the Dunson Clan, but he’s not giving up. They have found their groove in this ring tonight and if they keep this up, we’ll be looking at a monumental shift in an already bustling tag team division! 

Mason and Max want a tag, but Lonnie isn’t anywhere near them to get it. Finn gets a tag and now he’s got a bear hug on Lonnie. He starts to shake Li’l Lon in his arms and then tries getting the submission. 

Finn Dunson:
Tap out, you little bastard!

Lonnie Luck:
Make me! 

When Lonnie can’t pry his way free, he bites him in the side of the head! Lonnie yells in pain and then Lonnie throws a headbutt directly into his face to get free from the bear hug! Lonnie falls to his knees and glances at his corner where Mason and Max are ready to make a tag. 

Lance:
The Twin Terrors of DEFIANCE want a tag … wait, what is Lonnie doing? 

Lonnie looks at his cousins, but does not make a tag! He grabs Finn Dunson by his neck instead and then tries to run up the ropes for the Under-Dog, but Paul Dunson grabs his leg instead! Lonnie kicks him away but Finn Dunson tackles him from behind into the corner! 

DDK:
Lonnie had a chance to tag and he didn’t! Max and Mason aren’t happy with their cousin! And Finn is about to steal the match! 

He covers Lonnie … 

One …

Two … 

Mason makes a save! Not only that, but he grabs Lonnie’s leg and drags his much smaller cousin into the corner. He makes the tag to Mason! 

Lance:
Mason Luck! He’s seen enough! 

Mason tags in! 

He runs right through Finn Dunson with a clothesline! Todd comes in and he catches a right hand! Richie is on the top rope and he jumps … right into a huge big boot! All three of the competitors have been cleared in one fell swoop and are outside the ring! Mason points outside the ring and tags Max Luck. 

Lance:
In just a few big moves, Mason has taken control of this match! And look at Max! 

Max is on the ring apron and then the seven foot Beast of the Bright Lights his an amazing seven-foot cannonball dive on all three of the Dunson Clan members! The DEFIANCE Wrestling Faithful can’t believe it! 

Lance:
THAT WAS INSANE DARREN!!!

DDK:
THAT WAS!!! MAX GRABS FINN AND THROWS HIM IN THE RING! 

Lonnie looks at his cousins and does not look happy with being saved by them! Max and Mason grab Finn with a Winning Hand and choke slam set up … then slam him down with Seven Stars!!!

DDK:
Seven Stars! The Sevens are done playing around tonight! 

Max has the cover on Finn!

One … 

Two … 

Three!!!

DING DING DING

♫ “World On Fire” by Corrosion of Conformity ♫

Darren Quimbey:
Your winners … the LUCKY SEVENNNNSSSSSS!!!

DDK:
Big win by the twins and Lonnie Luck … but look at Lonnie! 

Max and Mason’s hands are raised by the referee but when they look at Lonnie to get him in on the celebration instead, he looks sad. He doesn’t feel like celebrating and then walks away from ringside. Mason wants to know what’s up with him, but Max basks in the response of the Faithful while Paul Dunson chastises his no-good kids for losing!

The wrestlers who make up the Midcard Experiment wouldn't ever be confused for A-listers by anyone. Hijo del Fishman Deluxe (or Fishman Jr if you’re into the whole brevity thing) is a little overweight. A llave specialist and a damn good one, if he had a clearer head on his shoulders he might have been something special. Walter Levy, The Bird Man, is a journeyman that’s been hacking away at the independent scene for years. On the smaller side with a chip on his shoulder about it, Walter’s temper has tended to keep him shackled in obscurity.

The two men are perched on a road crate deep in conversation with Fish Jr’s uncle (the original Fishman Deluxe and Walter’s former long time tag team partner), DEF official Hector Navarro.

Hector Navarro:
So yeah, Jane and Nicky challenged you for Uncut. I told you sticking your nose into Blood Diamonds business would get you in hot water. Boxer and Ed aren’t to be dicked around with… now that being said.

Hector smiles and claps his nephew on the knee.

Hector Navarro:
You stuck your necks out for your compadres, for your locker room. I’m damn proud of you boys.

Hijo del Fishman Jr:
Thanks unc. We just couldn't stomach Ed and them’s doggin’ on the developmental guys anymore. Dabs and Dougie really got us motivated. When we saw Campbell and the Gulf Coast boys getting torn apart… I mean, we had to do something.

Walter Levy:
Dabney can be pretty convincing. Him and his stupid doey-eyed sincerity…

The portly referee laughs.

Hector Navarro:
Those Doubleday’s are somethin’ ain't they? They’ll have your backs. Good kids.

We hear repetitive yelling from somewhere off camera, way down the hallway.

It’s coming closer.

Walter Levy:
He’s bound and determined, Dabs. If his eyes were anymore on the ball he’d have pinkeye.

Hijo del Fishman Jr:
So we’re booked against Katze and Corozzo? Any… umm… advice, unc?

Navarro smiles warmly at his nephew then over at his old friend and tag team partner.

Walter puts an arm around Jr’s shoulders.

Walter Levy:
Buddy of mine we’ve sat around in catering long enough. We’re gonna try, damnit, we’re gonna try our best and do it over and over and over and regardless of the result we’re gonna make a name for ourselves around here, hear me? We’re…

The repetitive yelling gets louder and closer.

A blur of black and white whizzes past the camera.

“... A VAMPIRE, I’M A VAM… “

The three men completely ignore the strange interruption.

Walter Levy:
As I was saying, we’re gonna do our best to nut up and kick those two Associates back up Eddy’s keister. They’re egos are bruised after losing to Dr. Sato and The Atomic Punks. They’ve been put through hell and literally poisoned. They’re coming into this with as much to prove as we do. Nicky Corozzo is big and that’s about it. We’ve fought our share of big dumb monsters in this game. And Jane? She’s always dangerous, her ring IQ is higher than most… but Fish, so is yours. She’s comin’ into this pissed, embarrassed, wanting to prove to Boxer and Ed she’s worth their time putting her in the ring. We can use that.

He claps Fish Jr on the back.

Walter Levy:
Regardless, it’s a payday, am I right? Lights camera action, pal o’ mine!

Walter hops down and stands quietly. His compatriots start to say something but Levy just holds a finger to his lips and quietly shushes them.

Hijo del Fishman Jr:
Just don’t hurt him, Walter.

The repetitive yelling once again is heard, closer and closer…

Walter holds out an arm and braces himself, CLOTHESLINING the blurry figure off his feet ass over teakettle. We can see now the blurry yeller is none other than the Midcard Experiments mascot slash third member they guess the Nic Cage themed luchador, CAGE! Eternally besuited in a slightly tattered black ensemble the mysterious oddball pops to his feet and adjusts his strange white mask.

The line drawing of Nic Cage’s unblinking face stares back at them.

CAGE!:
Oww. I’m a vampire.

Walter Levy:
We know, pal. Now, stop running around like a mental patient and listen closely. We’ve got some strategizing to do.

CAGE!:
Bees?

Walter Levy:
No, no bees. Not the bees.

As soon as the words escaped his mouth Walter realized his mistake and sighs a long sigh.

CAGE!:
NOT THE BEES, AAAAHHHHHHGH!

The masked whackadoo sprints off back down the hallway waving his arms, swatting away an invisible swarm of bees.

Walter closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration.

Hijo del Fishman Jr:
I’ll get him.

Hijo del Fishman Deluxe hops off the road crate and hoofs it down the hall in the same direction.

Hijo del Fishman Jr:
CAGE, BUDDY! Come on dude, don’t make me run. I hate running.

Hector Navarro, just grinning from ear to ear at Walter sniffs and starts to take his leave.

Hector Navarro:
Good luck. You're gonna need it.

Walter waves off handedly. As Hector leaves the frame Walter starts off after his stablemates.

Walter Levy:
Good grief and gravy. I’M TELLING YOU FISH, WE NEED TO JUST GET HIM CHIPPED… maybe a shock collar or something.

We fade out and cut to the next segment.

DDK:
We’ve got more tag team action here on UNCUT tonight and coming up next, we have a debuting pair! We’re talking two cult favorites of DEFIANCE - Sgt. Safety and Count Novick! The Safest Man in DEFIANCE and… a vampire? 

Lance:
Indeed. The Sarge and The Count will take on an athletic young duo from BRAZEN who have been making waves as of late, Kenny Yi and Lee Laz aka OnlyFlips! Let’s go to Darren Quimbey for the next match! 

The bell rings as the camera settles on Good Ol’ Quimbarino. 

Darren Quimbey:
The following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first… 

♫ “Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats ♫  

Darren Quimbey:
From Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 220 pounds… he is Officer of OSHA and The Safest Man in DEFIANCE… this is SGT. SAFETY!

The fans cheer as Sgt. Safety comes out with a shiny new decibel meter that he can now afford on a main roster member’s salary. The crowd cheers get louder as he points it to different sections of the arena to see who can make the most noise! After he does, he steps into the ring and then holds it out one more time for each side of the arena before handing off the decibel meter. Once he reaches the ring, the NOLA Faithful cheer him on as he waits for his partner… 

♫ “Everyday is Halloween” by Ministry ♫

That music gets a big pop from the crowd! A blue must begins to bellow out from around the ramp. In that mist, two figures shrouded in shadow: one smaller, sleeker, and wearing a billowing cape. The other is larger, hulking, a seeming monster of a man!

Darren Quimbey:
And his opponent…  weighing in at 201 pounds and an alleged age of over 400 years old… COUNT! NOVICK!

With that, a spotlight shines on the man, the myth… the Count! Count Novick, his usual vampiric self, hiding behind his cape before sweeping it behind him dramatically. He heads to the ring. He looks at Sgt. Safety, who has a hand out. The Count looks at him… 

Count Novick:
BLAAAUUUDD!

Sgt. Safety:
Well, if we follow the rules and work as a team, there won’t be any. 

The Count keeps a wary eye on his opponent. In the ring, the cocky young duo from BRAZEN pose for the camera now fixed on them! 

Darren Quimbey:
Introducing their opponents, already in the ring… at a combined weight of 402 pounds… they are the self-proclaimed Premium Content of BRAZEN… Kenny Li and Lee Laz… like and subscribe… to ONLYFLIPS!

The two pose in the ring again and get ready to wrestle. 

DDK:
We’ve seen OnlyFlips a few times in the past in tag team action and I understand in more recent times, their attitudes have gotten out of hand. 

Lance:
Indeed. Part of a foursome with their fellow aerial fan, Liz Icarus and their… photog… Asi Orochi. The ladies have the night off tonight preparing what was described as an OnlyFlips after-party photoshoot, but they have to win this first! 

Sgt. Safety starts with the Seattleite Lee Laz as the bell rings. 

DING DING

The bell rings and the two men lock up… or so The Sarge thinks. Lee Laz rolls underneath the attempted grapple to make it to his feet. He poses and gets jeers from the NOLA Faithful. 

DDK:
OnlyFlips living up to their name so far! 

The Officer of OSHA tries to go for a second attempt at a lockup, but Laz ducks underneath again and then kips up to his feet off the mat! Laz poses again and tells the people it’s okay to take pictures. When he turns around… he gets SNAPPED over with a lightning-fast arm drag! 

Lance:
There’s The Sarge with that safe and effective style! Laz doesn’t know where he is… and there’s another arm drag! And a third! 

After three arm drags, a flustered Lee Laz gets back to his feet in a daze, only to get nailed with a dropkick by The Sarge! He stumbles to the mat with Sgt. Safety now pretending to get the fans riled up for a flip. He prepares to do a cartwheel… then does a jumping jack instead to a big cheer!

DDK:
That’s as crazy as he’s gonna get, but The Faithful love it tonight! 

Laz gets an arm lock and dragged to the corner where Count Novick tags in! The Count gets cheers as Sgt. Safety holds Laz out by his arm, allowing him to leap off the top rope and connect with a flying headscissors! The Count stands up after the flip!

Count Novick:
AH AH AH!

DDK:
Wow! Count Novick and Sgt. Safety are working together well so far! 

Laz stumbles out of the top rope headscissors only to come around and catch a flying forearm off the ropes, followed by The Count crossing his hands over his chest and then kipping up! Checking his jaw, Laz rolls back to his corner where Kenny Yi tags in. The taller member of the OnlyFlips crew leaps over the ropes with a roll to show off and pops to his feet. He charges at Novick, but he ducks down. When Yi comes off the ropes, he gets the left knee dropkicked out from under him, then hit with a running swinging neckbreaker! The Count goes for the three-count! 

ONE!

TWO… NO!

Yi kicks out! 

Lance:
The Sarge and The Count are looking great right now! OnlyFlips haven’t been able to get out of the blocks! 

DDK:
Yeah, they haven’t been given any opening they can really exploit. 

The Count tags in The Sarge and the two send Yi to the ropes. Laz makes a blind tag that the two don’t see immediately. Novick and Safety try a double clothesline that misses… but the springboard dropkick from Lee Laz catches both men with a boot to the chest and knocks them down to the canvas! 

Lance:
We spoke too soon! Novick and Safety never saw the blind tag from Laz at all! 

Laz is up on his feet and hurries to kick Safety out of the ring. After he disposes of Safety, he rushes over and clocks The Count with a spinning heel kick! Kenny Yi is able to return to his corner just in time to get a tag! With Novick down, Laz makes the tag! He hits a standing moonsault on Novick, then moves out of the way for Kenny Yi to jump and hit a springboard moonsault of his own! Yi hooks the leg!

ONE!

TWO… NO!

DDK:
Two-count there by Kenny Yi off a move they call Moonsault Mayhem! Kenny Yi goes up top again! 

He heads for a top rope. He leaps… 

Novick moves!

But Kenny lands on his feet and hits the standing moonsault!

DDK:
Crazy! Kenny Yi hit the standing moonsault after landing out of the first moonsault! Cover!

ONE!

TWO… NO!

Lance:
Count Novick kicks out a second time! But OnlyFlips are showing something right now! 

With The Count still down, Kenny Yi slashes a thumb across his throat and then makes a tag to Lee Laz. The two men whip Count Novick to the ropes and try a little double-team… but what they don’t see is Sgt. Safety getting a blind tag this time! 

DDK:
Wait! Look! Sgt. Safety gets the blind tag now! He’s up top! 

Count Novick slides under their attempt at a move and when the OnlyFlips boys turn, they BOTH get wiped out, courtesy of The Crash Pad by Sgt. Safety!

DDK:
Sgt. Safety gets the two-for-one off that huge diving crossbody off the top! 

With both young men wiped out, Sgt. Safety rolls back to his feet! He grabs Lee Laz and then returns to the corner where Count Novick is! The Sarge grabs him by the head and drops Laz in the middle of the ring with Safety First! The Faithful cheer next when Count Novick climbs to the top rope… 

Lance:
Are they gonna do it, Darren? Safety First leg drop bulldog!

The Count poses, then takes flight with the top rope senton, landing across the chest of Lee Laz!

DDK:
Safety First leads right to the Graveyard Smash! Cover!

The elderly wrestler makes the cover with a hook of the leg! The NOLA Faithful count along! 

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

DING DING DING

♫ “Everyday is Halloween” by Ministry ♫

After getting the three-count, Count Novick and Sgt. Safety both stand up in triumph! 

Darren Quimbey:
Here are your winners… SGT. SAFETY AND COUNT NOVICK!

The Sarge gets his hand raised and Count Novick is trying to enthrall referee Carla Ferrari to be his new bride. She rolls her eyes, holds both men’s hands up quickly to acknowledge their victory, then leaves the ring instantly. Novick looks wide-eyed at her, but Sgt. Safety approaches him to say it’s not worth it and the two leave. 

DDK:
A good win in tag team action! Later tonight, we’ve got The Blood Diamonds in tag team action, and in our main event… Jun Izuchi steps up big against OSCAR BURNS! We’ll see that match in a bit! 

Just to the right of the stage, Chris Trutt stands live on the interview stage waiting for a chance to speak with his incoming guests. 

Chris Trutt:
What’s up, everyone! I’m Chris Trutt… ON UNCUT! Anyone remember when I did the intros for this show a while ago, they decided I wasn’t ready for TV and then put me back here… anyone?

An actual cricket chirping noise is heard in the background, leaving Trutt confused. 

Chris Trutt:
Huh… they said the fumigations of the Wrestle-plex were finished… ah, well. So yes… my guests! 

He points up. 

Chris Trutt:
Two… BIG guests…

Trutt perks up. 

Chris Trutt:
PUNCH DRUNK PURCELL! DEX JOY! THE LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADS!!!

ENERGY

Another lightning bolt!

BIG 

Another lightning bolt with a word that brings the fans to their feet!

DEX 

People have their phones ready to take pictures and video for their memories, their friends and probably some illegal streams. The lights flicker on and the words form to create an oldie but a goodie for the people of Miami …

BIG
DEX
ENERGY

♫ "Undefeated" by Beacon Light and Tommee Profitt ♫

The music plays and the fans ERUPT for the appearance of the two big men who have gone to war for the past three months straight, only to come out of the other side a brand new tag team! Dex Joy walks out to the stage in a blue and yellow hoodie, black jeans and yellow sneakers, and then points at the fans in attendance! He arrives on the stage first… 

PUNCH.
PIN.
PAY WINDOW.

♫ "The Sweet Science” by Rasco ♫

The music plays and the eruption is loud for one of DEFIANCE’s biggest success stories to come out of BRAZEN. Purcell points at the camera and then delivers a shadow punch directly at it! Wearing a black sleeveless shirt with the “PUNCH. PIN. PAY WINDOW.” slogan, he heads to the side of the stage. Once his music cuts, the Faithful are loud and proud for the heavies. 

Chris Trutt:
Dexy, Punchy, welcome to UNCUT and thank you for being here LIVE tonight!

RRRAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Purcell raises a fist for the cheering crowd. Dexy Baby poses and smiles. 

Dex Joy:
NOLA! HOW THE HELL ARE YOU?!

Dexy Baby lets the crowd get the shouts out. 

Dex Joy:
King Trutt! Brother! Thank you for the invite! 

He shakes his head so energetically that Trutt’s arm looks like it might come off! Purcell walks over. 

Punch Drunk Purcell:
What he said… thanks for having us here, my man. 

Punchy delivers a soft (for him) playful punch to the arm of Trutt, almost making him flinch! He rubs the spot where he got tapped. 

Chris Trutt:
I think my arm went numb… 

The Lads look over at Trutt. 

Chris Trutt:
I mean… um… so tonight! You guys wanted to come out and say a few words!

Dex Joy:
That we do, Trutt-head! Me and Punchy said everything we needed to say about this pairing … look for the Press-Con this weekend! I gotta earn that paycheck, kids … 

He winks to the camera. 

Dex Joy:
But we’re here to announce that on DEFtv … Punchy and I are hitting the ground running with this little super-team-up of ours cause on DEFtv, The Biggest Boy and The Round Mound of Ground and Pound … we ain’t jumping the line to get the first crack at M4NTRA. Nah, ya big bois are gonna earn them shots! We are issuing an open challenge to any tag team in the back that wants them some of Dexy Baby and Punchy-Poo! I … 

Punch Drunk Purcell:
Stop. 

Dex looks confuzzled at his partner. 

Dex Joy:
Yes? 

Punch Drunk Purcell:
Respectfully, man… I ain’t goin’ by Punchy-Poo so we can bump that right now. I… 

He stops when he hears the NOLA Faithful start a loud chant… 

PUNCHY-POO!
PUNCHY-POO!
PUNCHY-POO!

Purcell turns his head away from the camera on them like he’s about to crack a smirk, but hides his face in his hand. Dex runs over and puts an arm on his shoulder, encouraging the chants as he tries to turn the big man back his way! 

Dex Joy:
Nah nah! Let em know, pallies!

PUNCHY-POO!
PUNCHY-POO!
PUNCHY-POO!

Purcell tries not to laugh and he can barely keep a stone face. 

Punch Drunk Purcell:
I hate you. 

Dex Joy:
Ya lub me and you know it. 

Dex turns back to Chris Trutt. 

Dex Joy:
What do us kids say … any whoozles! We got an open contract so if there’s any team that wants to face us on DEFtv, sign right on up cause next week … when you cross The Lads … 

He turns and waits for Purcell to finish the statement. 

Punch Drunk Purcell:
…What? 

Dex Joy:
You’re killing me, Biggie Smalls. You say something that rhymes so we go out on a high note. When you cross The Lads … now you go. 

Purcell looks at Dex. 

Punch Drunk Purcell:
You heard the man. I’m out. Have a good night, everyone. 

He gets a big round of applause and laughter as Dex is left hanging. 

Dex Joy:
Uhh … well … whoever comes at The Lads … we’re whoopin that ass! I’m gonna workshop that. Good night, NOLA! 

♫ "Undefeated" by Beacon Light and Tommee Profitt ♫

The theme plays and Dex points to the Faithful and heads to the back, leaving Chris Trutt all alone. 

Chris Trutt:
The Lads in action on DEFtv next week! What an opportunity for any team to step up and make a name for themselves! Who’s gonna do it? We’ll find out next week! 

The camera cuts back to The Commentation Station for the next match. 

Darren Quimbey:
The following tag team match will be decided by one fall… 

"O Fortuna" from Carmina Burana as performed by the London Philharmonic hits over the sound system. The crowd rains derision and hatred as Edward White’s right and left hands emerge from the entrance tunnel. “The Submission Siren” Jane Katze is in her standard gray pencil skirt and heels. A look of determination on her face. Emerging from behind her, towering over her in all black is her long time tag team partner and associate, the seven foot former mob enforcer "Il Giudice" Nicky Corozzo.

The Associates have arrived back in the arena they, along with their boss, made famous.

As ring announcer Darren Quimbey runs down the Blood Diamond duo’s credentials and they start towards the ring, the unfiltered NOLA Faithful continue to greet them as only they can.

BOOOOOOOOO!

One front row fan along the ramp holds up a sign depicting a cartoon version of Dr. Sato and The Atomic Punks as the Ghostbusters, caricatures of Nicky and Jane drawn as titular busted ghosts. Jane snatches it away and promptly rips up the elaborate sign, throwing the shredded pieces directly back into the face of the shocked and now furious fan. This exchange seems to cheer Jane up a little bit as she and Nicky finally make their way into the ring.

"Heaven Is a Place on Earth" by Belinda Carlisle starts to play and the NOLA Faithful pop for the imminent arrival of some of DEF’s original curtain jerking weirdos.

Firstly, bursting from backstage at a full sprint is the man they call CAGE!

The mysterious Nic Cage-themed luchador slides under the bottom rope with so much momentum he nearly clears the other side of the ring. He pops to his feet and straightens his tie before standing a little too close to Darren Quimbey, clearly making the diminutive little ring announcer a little nervous.

Jane and Nicky scowl at CAGE! from their corner across the ring.

Darren Quimbey:
Making their waaaaay to the ring, at a combined weight of 430 pounds being accompanied to the ring tonight by the man they call CAGE! HIJOOOO DEL FISHMAN DELUXE! “THE BIRD MAN” WALTER LEVY… THE MIDCAAAARD EXPERIMENT!

Fishman Jr. carefully emerges with his tag team partner perched on his shoulders. Fish Jr carries his indie-legend tag team partner down the ramp. As the crowd cheers and Walter mugs for the ringside crowd the cheery, celebratory entrance is cut short as the big lumbering seven footer Corozzo reaches over the top rope and PLUCKS Walter from Fishman Jr’s shoulders HEAVING the smaller wrestler across the ring as though he were a child. Big Nicky’s awesome natural strength on full display.

BOOOOOOOOO!

Fishman Jr quickly makes his way over and hops up into their corner. Clear concern for his partner on his mostly masked face.

CAGE! follows him and posts up below him at ringside.

Referee Carla Ferrari, having officialted enough of the Associates matches knows to go ahead and call for the bell. This is as clean a start as she ever expected from these two. 

DING DING

Lance:
Nicky sure does have a unique ring style, Darren.

DDK:
If you can call it that. Corozzo has about as much interest in trading holds in there as you or I do. All big Nicky wants is to inflict as much pain and punishment as humanly possible.

Lance:
Simple, sloppy, brutal and above all dirty.

As though on cue, Nicky thumbs the eye of poor Walter for no good reason. Levy having been on the defensive literally since the bell rang. Corozzo’s stiff irish whips into the corner and continued running big boots have left poor Walter reeling. The beatdown seemed to be headed towards squash territory when after an attempted powerbomb attempt, Levy managed to utalize his quickness and in ring IQ to skin the cat and slip out the back of the manuver.

RAAAAAAAAAAAH!

The Bird Man leaps as dramatically as possible towards Hijo del Fishman Deluxe and manages the hot tag. Corozzo is about to start circling the husky luchador when we notice Jane Katze snap her fingers and hold out her hand for a tag. Nicky acquiesces with a grin. Katze steps seductively through the ropes. She kicks off her high heels, shucks her suit jacket, hikes up her skirt and approaches Fishman Jr with a scowl.

The two start to circle one another, waiting for the right opening.

Lance:
It should be mentioned. Hijo del Fishman Deluxe is the nephew of the original Fishman Deluxe, our very own referee Hector Navarro. While Hector would describe his own ringwork as that of a lucha exotico… Jr has taken a little bit of a different path, hasn’t he Darren?

DDK:
While nobody would ever look at him and expect it, Hijo del Fishman Deluxe is a gifted practitioner of the lucha submission grappling style of llave. His lack of motivation and focus aside, Jane will have her work cut out for her here.

Keebler and Warner’s words play out in front of us as the two grapplers sink into a spectacular display of hold for hold pro wrestling. Jane’s well honed MMA inspired jujitsu maneuvers are countered over and over by Fish, the portly luchador turning every hold into one of his own. Counter after counter the two eventually break apart, Katze unable to hide her frustration, kicking the bottom rope and scowling back at her opponent.

Fishman Jr just waves back at her with a smile, much to the delight of the NOLA Faithful.

RAAAAAAAAAAAH!

DDK:
That young man is a living example of why you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, folks.

Lance:
You said it, Keebs.

BOOOOOOOOO!

Finding himself within grabbing distance of Corozzo and Katze’s corner, big Nicky reaches in, grabs Fish’s mask and TWISTS it around backwards! Official Carla immediately gets in Nicky’s face, the seven foot enforcer denying any wrong doing.

As Carla’s back is turned, occupied by her partner, Jane Katze drops Fishman to his knees with a brutal kick to his tender netherregion. Katze pushes past Carla Ferrari and tags Corozzo back into the match, both sporting sinister shit-eating grins.

The next several minutes are all Nicky Corozzo just straight up assaulting a blinded Hijo del Fishman Deluxe. Even with his mask eventually righted on his head the damage is done. Fish can barely muster any offense. Several mudholes are stomped into the luchador before…

RAAAAAAAAAAAH!

The crowd roars with laughter as Fishman manages to pants Corozzo!

Lance:
HAHA! Do his undies have Ed White’s face on them or am I hallucinating?!

DDK:
Oh my, these two just can’t catch a break can they?

Lance:
Couldn't happen to two nicer folks, am I right or am I right Keebs? 

One quick yank and the big seven footers slick black leather pants are around his knees. As he scrambles to pull them back up Fishman Jr slaps the big man right on the bum, right on his Edward White branded tighty whities. Fish collapses in their corner, Walter making the blind tag and immediately scaling the turnbuckles.

The Bird Man makes a big todo as he makes his way up top. He stands triumphant atop the turnbuckle flapping his arms for a second, hyping up the crowd before LAUNCHING himself towards Nicky Corozzo… but alas, Nicky has hitched his britches and was ready and waiting to once again effortlessly snatch the much smaller wrestler out of the air like he were a wee babe.

Nicky wastes no time readjusts Levy in his arms.

DDK:
Here comes the one actual wrestling move big Nicky knows folks!

Lance:
Oh God, poor Walter… 

Corozzo trucks Levy’s head and grabs his helpless criss-crossed arms.

DDK:
END OF THE WORLD!

In one quick, devastating motion Corozzo compresses poor Walter’s spine with his patented straightjacket tombstone piledriver.

Levy’s body goes limp as Fishman and CAGE! can only watch on in dismay as Corozzo takes his time, dropping down, not even hooking the leg for the inevitable, textbook pinfall.

Carla slides in for the count.

 

ONE.

 

 

TWO.

An in vain attempt at rolling his shoulder up can be seen to no effect. There’s just to much Nicky Corozzo and not enough Walter Levy for that to happen, even with a halfhearted cover.
 

THREE.

DING DING DING

As "O Fortuna" starts to play again, Fishman Jr attempts to retrieve his fallen comrade to ringside. Things can never be that simple when the Blood Diamonds are involved, now can they?

DDK:
Oh for the love of…

Lance:
One match, ONE match without this crap is all I ask!

Katze and Corozzo immediately start laying boots to both men.

RAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Lance:
CAGE! with the huge save!

Like a bolt from heaven, CAGE! comes screaming into the picture with a shotgun dropkick from the top rope right to the chests of both Associates, sending Jane sprawling to the mat and Corozzo stumbling back into the ropes.

DDK:
He’s an odd one, but he just saved his tag partners butts tonight!

Lance:
Above and beyond the job of a “mascot” to be sure! 

Enough time is bought to retrieve his partners and all three of them to escape to ringside. Jane and Nicky recover and stand triumphant against the ropes, scowling down at the Midcard Experiment trio.

Lance:
More fuel on the fire in regards to the growing ire between the Blood Diamonds and our talent down in BRAZEN, Darren.

DDK:
Even in loss the MCE boys definitely showed a lot more focus tonight, holding their own against two of the canniest competitors in DEFIANCE. 

DDK:
We’ve had a very big show tonight to kick off the march towards Acts of DEFIANCE and we have a HECK of an opportunity for “The Texan Dragon” Jun Izuchi. Capping off this show since his return, we have… and we are saying this in all caps… OSCAR BURNS in action!

Lance:
Jun Izuchi has been victorious on UNCUT more often than not in singles action, but the former MASSIVE Cowboy has been looking for his one shot. He has nothing to lose and everything to gain tonight fighting one of DEFIANCE’s biggest stars! 

DDK:
Let’s go to the introductions for tonight’s main event right now! Darren Quimbey already in the ring… 

The camera cuts over to Darren Quimbey. 

Darren Quimbey:
The following contest is your main event of the evening and scheduled for one fall… introducing first… 

♫ "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly" by Ennio Morricone ♫

The arena is greeted with darkness. The all-too-familiar whistling intro sounds out and out from the back, a man in blue trunks, tights, a lasso, and a cowboy hat tilted down to obstruct his face. 

Darren Quimbey:
…Hailing from The Double Dragon Ranch in Tokyo, Texas, weighing in at 260 pounds… "THE TEXAN DRAGON" JUN IZUCHI!

The NOLA Faithful gives a nice reception for the former Massive Cowboy as he heads to the ring and points at a few fans before high-fiving a few others. He reaches the ring, walks up the steps, then makes it into the squared circle. He takes off his hat and hangs it and his lasso on the nearby post. When his music cuts out, the entire Wrestle-plex is bathed in darkness… 

♫ “Presto” by Epica ♫

The arena goes dark, save for one green light emitting from the LED screen on stage. Standing among the light is a dark silhouette. He steps forward out from the light… 

But instead of it being OSCAR BURNS… 

It’s Sonny Silver. 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Dressed in a green silk shirt and dark slacks, the now-former spokesman for Vae Victis arrives on stage. 

DDK:
SONNY SILVER? Well, that’s certainly not OSCAR BURNS, that’s for sure. 

Lance:
But what does this have to do with anything? 

Sonny pauses on the ramp. 

Sonny Silver:
Expecting somebody else, weren’t you? Well… as the BRAND NEW official spokesman for OSCAR BURNS… 

BOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sonny Silver:
I’m here to inform you that as a part of his brand new contract, OSCAR BURNS don’t work the swamps anymore! OSCAR BURNS is now the highest-paid wrestler on this roster and he ain’t working no more small towns!

The booing is even louder as Jun Izuchi shakes his head at the bait-and-switch being pulled tonight. 

Sonny Silver:
BUT… to honor his original agreement, OSCAR did say he’d make one more appearance… here he is. 

He points up at the DEFIAtron where a live feed of OSCAR BURNS sitting on a sunny beach somewhere in New Zealand wearing a black tank top and a pair of blue and green board shorts. He sees the live feed. 

Lance:
What the hell is this? 

OSCAR silently tips his cap. 

OSCAR BURNS:
Yeah nah, UNCUT? That don’t work for me, GCs… BUT… I won’t deprive you of one more appearance for myself on UNCUT! You, the little people, helped make OSCAR BURNS - that’s ALL CAPS, ALL GRAPS - the massive money-making name he is today. And you deserve to see me one last time before I move on to bigger and more important matches like on DEFtv… ooops, said too much. 

BURNS shrugs it off. 

OSCAR BURNS:
So without further adieu… even though Vae Victis is gone, Lindsay Troy and Henry Keyes are getting some well-deserved time off, you will have the first member of MY GC UNIVERSE there live and in color right now! So… Sonny, be a great GC and introduce him, eh?

The screen cuts back to Sonny Silver on the stage. 

Sonny Silver:
You bet. You know him from such matches as “BEATING REZIN WITHIN AN INCH OF HIS LIFE” to “BEATING BUTCHER VICTORIOUS WITHIN AN INCH OF HIS LIFE”. You will know him shortly as the guy who “BEAT JUN IZUCHI WITHIN AN INCH OF HIS LIFE.” Please welcome… with NEW music! He is the first member of OSCAR BURNS’ brand-new GC UNIVERSE… 

Sonny grins. 

Sonny Silver:
This man has the height of a skyscraper, and he’s faster than a NASCAR racer! HE IS THE FREAKIEST OF FREAK ATHLETES! He is THE FASTEST BIG MAN ALIVE! He is ”THE FRONT RUNNER” … 

He smirks and holds up three fingers, one for each initial…

Sonny Silver:
D… L… J!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Jun Izuchi looks shocked as the lights on the DEFIAtron start flashing to life like a car speeding through a dimly-lit tunnel. A reverb of red lights continues to flash faster and faster… 

♫ "Faster (instrumental)” by Dax feat. Tech N9ne ♫

ZOOMING through the curtains and appearing on stage, is the former VV protege and now the first official members of OSCAR BURNS’ new GC Universe! The 6’7” speeding monster leaps  around on stage and has on a burgundy-and gold singlet and knee pads, along with gold wrestling shoes in a nod to a certain Scarlet Speedster from another Universe. 

DDK:
I should have figured! DLJ and Sonny Silver have remained aligned with OSCAR BURNS tonight! That’s an incredibly deadly combination as it is! 

Lance:
DLJ gave Butcher Victorious the fight of his career at MAXDEF. Butcher barely squeaked by with the win, but DLJ looks even more determined. 

With a dab of the fists, DLJ ZOOMS down the ramp and slides into the ring. He bounces back and forth against the ropes twice each, comes to a stop on the ramp and then grins. When he sees Jun Izuchi as his opponent, Jun puts up his guard. 

DDK:
There was a time last year when Jun Izuchi befriended Titaness and Dan Leo James against The Most Precious Gems. Now, those days might as well be long gone after OSCAR BURNS and Sonny Silver got their mitts into this blue chipper. 

DLJ stands across from Jun stone-faced. Jun tries to offer up a hand. DLJ looks down at it…

Then slaps it away. 

DDK:
Ooooh. That was a sign. This is not the DLJ that used to call his opponent Cousin Jun when they were part of Titanes Familia. 

Lance:
Indeed. 

Sonny Silver looks pleased. 

And the bell rings. 

DING DING

DLJ runs at Jun and BOWLS right through the big man with a running forearm smash to the side of the head! The Faithful are in shock as DLJ charges towards him in the corner, and then rams his shoulder into his rib cage!

Again!

And again!

And again!

And again!

And again!

DDK:
GOODNESS! DLJ IS ASSAULTING A MAN HE ONCE CALLED A FRIEND!

Jun can barely muster up a comeback when DLJ is forcefully pulled from the corner by referee Brian Slater! The Fastest Big Man Alive looks at him and demands he keep his hands off him. 

Lance:
I can’t believe this! That loss to Butcher Victorious might have set something off in Dan Leo James! When has he ever shown this type of aggression before? 

The Texan Dragon has been leveled in the corner and winces in pain. DLJ turns around and charges at the corner… 

Only to catch a boot to the head from Izuchi! 

DDK:
Wait! He might have a chance! 

Lance:
That boot caught DLJ and I think he might be out on his feet! 

The Front Runner looks annoyed and checks his face after being clocked from the kick. He charges forward again, only to catch a back elbow this time! Izuchi goes to the middle rope slowly and then takes flight with a big flying shoulder tackle that knocks DLJ off his feet! 

DDK:
Izuchi with the shoulder block! Can Izuchi fight back?! 

Lance:
He’s trying! That blindside assault from Dan Leo James hasn’t helped any, but he’s trying to get back to his feet! 

The NOLA Faithful are behind The Texan Dragon as he tries to fight back to his feet. He gets back up… 

ONLY TO CATCH THE GODSPEED FIRST! 

DDK:
GODSPEED! NO WAY! THAT FAST! 

As Izuchi was fighting to get up, the replay shows DLJ back up from the earlier shoulder tackle before he CLOCKS Izuchi upside the head with the running palm strike! In real time, DLJ crawls over and hooks the leg!

Lance:
NO WAY! IS THAT IT?!

DLJ makes the cover and Sonny Silver holds up a finger outside the ring for each fall. 

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

DING DING DING

♫ "Faster (instrumental)” by Dax feat. Tech N9ne ♫

Darren Quimbey:
Here is your winner of the match…D! L! J!

DLJ doesn’t even let Brian Slater raise his hand. DLJ stands up and shakes his head. He climbs out of the ring to join Sonny Silver and he nods to the people. 

Sonny Silver:
Not working by the hour! We got a plane to catch! 

DLJ follows Sonny Silver as they head up the ramp. 

Lance:
That was wild! DLJ mows right through Jun Izuchi with that Godspeed palm strike! 

DDK:
That power blended together with that speed? That makes him a VERY dangerous asset for OSCAR BURNS. We are officially out of time tonight on UNCUT in a VERY sudden main event match that barely went a minute! We have to go, but we will see you all next week from Indianapolis, Indiana! Good night, everyone!

The show ends with Sonny Silver holding up the hand of DLJ on the ramp, looking proud of what he’s just done to a man he once called a friend. 

THIS.

IS.

DEFIANCE.