DEFIANCE Uncut 165

♫”Atomic Punk” by Van Halen♫

This deep classic rock cut heralds the arrival of one of DEFIANCE’s most interesting new personalities and her irradiated weapons. Dr. Ayumi Sato is the first to step out from behind the curtain, flanked by one of the newest teams to hit an already-bustling tag team division.

Darren “DQ” Quimbey:
Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Making their way to the ring accompanied by Dr. Ayumi Sato, at a total combined weight of 485 pounds… FISSION! Aaaaaand GIGATON… THEE! ATOMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC… PUUUUUUUUUUUUUNKS!!!

DDK:
Fans, the Atomic Punks and their leader Dr. Sato have been taking DEFIANCE by storm as of late, and tonight they will have a chance to advocate for their progression up the tag team ranks! At DEFtv 206 they came up short in a six-team matchup to determine the number one contenders to the Unified Tag Team Championships, but Dr. Sato is not discouraged, and in fact had this to say!

The screen converts to a picture-in-picture format, as on our left we see a glowering Dr. Sato with her Atomic Punks in tow.

Dr. Ayumi Sato:
GREETINGS, PUNY MORTALS! Though my Atomic Punks may not have been on the winning side of a hellacious hexagon of a war in their last appearance, we remain undaunted! Tonight, we will take to the ring and show DEFIANCE Wrestling that you should NEVER underestimate the genius of me, Dr. Ayumi Sato, and just what woe will come to any precious gem who may think we are but some flash in the pan. Don’t change that channel… you just might miss the example we make and the warning shot we fire tonight!

The Punks stand stoically as Dr. Sato cackles with delight, just in time for the screen to revert to normal, the camera now focusing on Finn and Todd Dunson of the Dunson Clan, as Fission and Gigaton take to the ring.

DINGDING

The rising star of the Dunson Clan, Finn, starts the match by thundering his way to Fission and flattening him with a meaty clothesline! The smaller Punk rises to his feet, just in time to eat a back elbow that drops him back to the mat! The large Dunson cousin peels Fission off the mat, and drops him back to the mat with a thunderous scoop slam, before planting a massive elbowdrop on him, and leans in for the cover as referee Hector Navarro rushes in for the count!

Lance:
Finn Dunson off to a hot start here! As the latest addition to the Dunson Clan, he has shown a dangerous mix of power and speed, which could prove effective against the upstarts, the Atomic Punks!

ONE!

TW-

Fission manages to kick out, but is clearly scrambled, lurching towards his corner for a tag, only to get cut off by the big Dunson, who drags Fission into his own corner and tags in his cousin Todd before bullying Fission into the corner and ramming his shoulder into him while Todd leans in and PASTES Fission with a series of hard rights!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Navarro gets Finn to break his hold on Fission and step back to his corner, but by now Fission is already in a bad way, as Todd is on the offensive, landing another hard right before kicking Fission in the ribs and PLANTING him to the mat with a neckbreaker! The Diva of the Dunson Clan saunters his way to his corner, hopping onto the middle rope before shouting out…

Todd Dunson:
One n’ Done, Son!

WHAM!

…and leaping off, only to land back-first on the mat, as Fission has managed to step out of harm’s way! His senses coming back to him, he LEAPS towards his own corner, and tags in his “hermano!”

DDK:
Looks like Todd Dunson was trying to go for the kill, but he JUST missed, and now he could be paying for it!

Gigaton slowly steps between the ropes, before sizing up Finn in the corner, and calling out to him with a “come hither” gesture and a loud, roaring…

Gigaton:
COME AWWWWWWWN!!!

Finn slowly intimates stepping into the ring…

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

…only for Todd to sucker punch Gigaton and double him over! Todd smirks at the jeering crowd and bounds off the ropes…

WHAM!

…only to get driven into the mat by a swinging side slam! Gigaton looks once more at Finn, who stares at Gig once more, before Fission sneaks up from ringside and trips him up onto the apron! Gigaton drags the prone body of Todd Dunson to the middle of the ring, before bounding off the ropes himself…

WHAM!

…and hitting the Atomic Splash! Hector Navarro runs in for the count!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

DINGDINGDING

♫”Atomic Punk” by Van Halen♫

Darren “DQ” Quimbey:
Here are your winners… THEEEE! ATOMIIIIIC! PUUUUUUUUNKS!!!

DDK
An impressive display by the Punks, showing why they are a team to watch out for here in DEFIANCE! Will we see more performances like this from the army of Dr. Sato? Time will tell!

Hector Navarro raises the beefy arm of Gigaton, as Dr. Ayumi Sato slithers in and raises the other, cackling aloud to whoever can hear her. Fission circles ringside, awaiting his comrades as they exit the ring. The camera closes in on the trio, as Dr. Sato cackles some more and yells something into the screen about “precious gems” and some such, as we cut away.

A dimly lit studio. In front of a giant DEFIANCE banner are two director-style chairs: in one sits a suit-wearing Jamie Sawyers and in the other a casually dressed Pat Cassidy. Cassidy shifts in his chair and adjusts his Boston Red Sox hat with his one hand that isn’t in a sling. Sawyers looks into the camera with a serious face.

Jamie Sawyers:
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to an exclusive Uncut sit-down interview with DEFIANCE wrestler Pat Cassidy. Thanks for doing this, Pat.

Pat Cassidy:
Yeah.

A beat.

Jamie Sawyers:
Pat… I won’t beat around the bush here. We all saw what happened on DEFtv, but for the purposes of clarity, I’ll recap: after defeating Brock Newbludd for the right to marry your sister Siobhan, Malak shocked the world by divorcing her a mere two weeks later. I have to ask: have you spoken to Siobhan?

Cassidy again shifts in his chair.

Pat Cassidy:
I have. Briefly. 

Another beat.

Jamie Sawyers:
How is she doing?

Pat Cassidy:
How the fuck do you think she’s doing, Saw-ers? 

Another beat.

Jamie Sawyers:
Well, I…

Pat Cassidy:
Nah, I’m gonna talk now. I want to make one thing clea-ur: my sister is a fuckin’ idiot. She’s been a fuckin’ idiot for going on two yeahs now. Eva since she dumped Brock and cost us the tag belts, she’s been on a fuckin’ mission to prove just how fuckin’ stupid she is. This thing with Malak was just the latest in a long line of dumb-fuck decisions. But yah know what, Saw-ers? Siobhan is twenty-three. A child, yah understand? It’s my fuckin’ fault. I brought her to New Orleahns and gave her that fuckin’ job in that fuckin’ bah. I brought her into this world. I can’t imagine what people would think of me if my twenties were broadcast on national fuckin’ television. So while she might be dumb as fuck, she’s still my sistah. She’s family, Saw-ers. Blood. And I can tell you this: there isn’t a person on this planet who deserves to be dumped by Malak fuckin’ Gah-land.

Jamie Sawyers:
It almost sounds like you blame yourself…

Pat Cassidy:
Are you shittin’ me, guy? No. I blame the one motherfuckah responsible for it. Malak. Do you know why he did, this Jamie? Do you know?

Jamie Sawyers:
Well, he had a rather vulgar set of reasons…

Pat Cassidy:
Nah, that was bullshit. I’ll tell you why he did it. We have all these cute phrases to describe him. Snowflake. Cowahd. These ah excuses for him, Saw-ers. He’s not some helpless child lashin’ out. All that bullshit he’s always on? That’s a fucking act. He’s got everybody snowed… except me. See, Malak ain’t the idiot you think he is. He ain’t no “snowflake.” Nah, Malak is one thing and one thing only.

Cassidy leans forward for emphasis.

Pat Cassidy:
Malak is a piece of shit.

He leans back, scowling.

Pat Cassidy:
He did this to get to me, Saw-ers. Fawh yeahs ago, The Comments Section were the reignin’ Unified Tag Team Champions. And ever team they came up against, Malak was able to play his little mind games and fuck with their head. Cortez and Minute. The Sevens. Toybox. The Fuse Boys. Malak kept those belts by pretending to be an idiot while he was secretly playin’ mind games. And then he ran up against The Saturday Night Specials. And he tries his bullshit. He tried using Siobhan against me even then. He thought he broke me and Newbludd up, he thought his evil plan worked again. But he was fuckin’ wrong, wasn’t he? I showed up to the PPV and beat his bitch ass and we took those belts. We went on to become the LONGEST reigning champions in DEFIANCE history, in fact. And that ATE away at him. He’s been waitin for his payback. Picking his spots. And he did all this… he FUCKED with someone’s life… just to get back at me, Saw-ers. That’s the kind of piece of shit Malak Gah-land is.

Jamie Sawyers:
You’re saying the whole relationship between Malak and Siobhan was a ruse?

Pat Cassidy:
I’m saying his WHOLE FUCKIN' LIFE is a fuckin’ ruse. Well, he got what he wanted. He’s got my attention. And now I’m going to beat his fuckin’ ass in front of the whole world. Good job, guy. Mission a - fuckin’ - ccomplished. 

Jamie Sawyers:
Which brings me to my next question: you’ve challenged Malak to a fight at DEFtv 208. Not a match - because you’re still suffering that bicep injury from DEFCON and as a result DEFIANCE wouldn’t allow you to offically compete. You aren't cleared. I mean, I notice your arm is still in a sling. Do you think this is a wise move given your current physical state?

Pat Cassidy:
Fuckin’ A, Saw-ers… I’ve been getting my ass kicked my whole life. I fight for a livin’. Getting hurt is just a paht of the gig. You think this…

Cassidy holds up his sling.

Pat Cassidy:
…is gonna stop me from beating the piss out of that little bitch? Think again, kid. I’m not just gonna beat him. I’m gonna beat the ever-loving dogshit out of him. Are you understanding me? I’m gonna end Malak’s fuckin’ career, Jamie. There ain’t gonna be no headlocks. No Irish whips. I’m gonna tear his fuckin’ head off. Hell, I might just kill the fucker.

Jamie Sawyers:
Now, Pat… please don’t say anything you don’t mean. I’m told that even though this isn’t an official sanctioned match, the DEFIANCE cameras will be recording it, and anything you do…

Cassidy laughs.

Pat Cassidy:
What? I’ll go to fuckin’ jail?

Cassidy does the “spooky fingers” thing.

Pat Cassidy:
I’ve been to jail befoah and I fully expect to go again. And if there was evah a fuckin’ reason to go, ridding the world of that shit-stain would be at the top of the list. I don’t give a fuck about the consequences. Let them arrest me. It’ll be fuckin’ worth it. 

Jamie Sawyers:
Pat… we all heard the wonderful news recently about Ophelia’s pregnancy. Congratulations again. But - you have a child on the way. Would you want your son or daughter to grow up with a father who was put away?

Cassidy stands, fire in his eyes.

Pat Cassidy:
Gee, I dunno, asshole - maybe I’d like my kid to grow up knowin’ that when someone disrespects your family you man up and do something about it? You ever consider that? Look, Saw-ers… catch me after DEFtv if you want to talk fatherhood. I’ll be good ol’ happy-go-lucky Pat Cassidy again. But until then…

He turns to look directly into the camera.

Pat Cassidy:
Get your affaihs in ordah, Gah-land. At DEFtv, your ass ain’t slippin through the cracks this time. It belongs to me.

Fade out.

 

LUCK DYNASTY
2X DEFIANCE Unified Tag Team Champions
2X DEFIANTS of the Year
DEFIANCE’S Hottest Tag Team
&
Now DEFIANCE’s Hottest Trio!!!

♫ “World On Fire” by Corrosion of Conformity ♫

Red and green-colored fire explodes from both sides of the stage! Walking through the two pillars, Max Luck is in brand new black pants with red flame patterns all around! 

DDK:
One half of the most destructive tag teams in DEFIANCE Wrestling history, Max Luck, in singles action! Mason and Lonnie Luck will be in tag team action next week on DEFtv against the Pop Culture Phenoms combination of Klein and the Favoured Saints champion, The D! 

Lance:
But tonight, Max Luck is looking to stretch his own legs and he takes on a former BRAZEN Onslaught champion, the beast called 1099!

The Beast of the Bright Lights receives an overwhelming amount of cheers from the DEFIANCE Wrestling Faithful. He walks over to ringside towards a fan with a “DEFIANCE’S HOTTEST TAG TEAM … ALLEGEDLY” shirt and he poses with the fan flashing the Winning Hand. 

Quimbey:
The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Standing at seven feet tall and weighing three-hundred and eight pounds! He is “The Beast of the Bright Lights” … MAAAAAXXXXX LUCCCCCCCKKK!!!

Max climbs over the ropes and is in the ring. He holds up the Winning Hand sign, signaling thousands of fans in the Erie Insurance Arena to do the same! 

♫ “Glorious” by Macklemore feat. Skylar Grey ♫

The music that belongs to 1099’s handler, Nick “Lotto” Otto plays. Standing in the center of the stage is a massive bald man with a neatly trimmed beard, black sweater blazer and black dress jeans. The sweater blazer comes off and shows off a very cut build. 

Darren Quimbey:
His opponent … from Baton Rouge, Louisiana! Standing at six-foot nine and weighing three-hundred twenty-six pounds … TEN-NINETY-NINE!!!

DDK:
Look at this heavy hitter! 1099 recently won a feud in BRAZEN with tank of of a man, Getaway Jones to earn a shot at BRAZEN’s Onslaught title. But respectfully if he beats Max Luck one on one tonight? A highly established star? What does that do for your career?

Lance:
Everything! 

The Beast of the Bright Lights and 1099 go face to face with each other. Max grins at the chance to have a fight but 1099 isn’t moving from his spot and has a poker face on. 

DDK:
Max Luck has the height advantage but both may be equal in strength. 1099 formerly known as BRAGG, used to be fifty pounds heavier but has really gotten into great shape during his BRAZEN tenure. 

The poor referee that has to corral the two bulls gets in between them and signals for the bell. 

DING DING

1099 sees the opportunity in front of him to take down one of DEFIANCE Wrestling’s most dangerous men! He hits him with rights and lefts! 

Lance:
I think 1099 heard us! He’s attacking Max Luck with those fists! 

Max is backed into a corner and 1099 hits him in the corner with some powerful knees to his stomach. With enough knees in the corner, Max Luck is left hunched over with 1099 shouting at a booing crowd. 

DDK:
He’s off to an impressive start tonight! And … wait a minute … 

After talking his smack to the DEFIANCE Wrestling Faithful he turns back to the corner …

Max locks in a Winning Hand! 

DDK:
Max is not in a playing mood tonight it seems! Now he’s got 1099 in the corner! 

The iron claw hold is locked on the skull of 1099 and the enforcer of Nick “Lotto” Otto is left stunned in the corner until the referee counts to five to get Max to let go. Max lets go but he grabs the arm of 1099 and steps up the ropes to cheers!

Lance:
It’s time Darren!

DDK:
It is time! We’re Walking the Strip with Max Luck! 

The seven foot monster shows off incredible balance holding the arm of 1099 and wrenching it as he walks halfway across the ropes. He leaps off and knocks some sense into the BRAZEN big man with a flying clubbing blow to the back of the head! 1099 is on the mat and holding his head with Max Luck having a good time at his expense. He points to the ropes and then heads in their direction … 

DDK:
Max Luck nails a low drop kick! He might have just knocked 1099 for a loop! 

Max pins the giant. 

One …

Two …

No! 

Lance:
I’m shocked he was able to kick out of that knee smash. But Max doesn’t look done either! 

Max stands up and he grabs 1099. The “Independent Contractor” is whipped into a corner and Max flies for a splash in the corner … but what he does not expect is for 1099 to move first! Max hits the corner and when he turns around he gets socked upside the jaw with the mother of left hands! The DEFIANCE Wrestling Faithful are shocked by this turn of events with Max reeling in the corner and 1099 shaking some feeling back into his hand. 

DDK:
I understand that move is called the Deduction! He might have knocked Max out standing!

Lance:
I think that name is appropriate because that might have deducted a tooth or two from Max’s mouth! 

Max Luck is rattled in the corner from such a devastating left. The Beast of the Bright Lights is led out of the corner by his arm and then he is dropped into the mat with a side walk slam! 1099 stays on the mat after the slam and he hooks the leg. 

One …

Two … 

No!

Luck’s shoulder comes up first!

DDK:
That could have been a major upset in the making, but Max kicks out at two. 

Lance:
What a solid showing by 1099 tonight. He’s gotta be on top of his game tonight if he really wants this win. 

1099 goes for a suplex on Max now. He goes for the lift, but Max Luck has enough strength to fight the suplex by blocking with a leg. 1099 punches him in the chest and then tries again for the suplex. Max is still fighting it so he gives up and then hits a head butt to the side of Max’s head. With Dashing Max stuck in his tracks, 1099 hits the ropes and looks to decapitate him with a lariat … but instead, Max crouches and then flies off the ropes to hit a huge flying clothesline that knocks the Independent Contractor off his feet! 

DDK:
Check-Raise! There’s a Check-Raise out of nowhere from Max Luck! 

1099 is down. Max is down. But the Beast of the Bright Lights latches a hand onto the nearby ropes. He takes a moment … 

And the seven–foot monster manages to kip to his feet!!!

Lance:
Oh my God! What the heck did we just see in that ring Darren! A seven foot freak athlete!

DDK:
Max Luck calls himself the Beast of the Bright Lights for a reason! 

Max points at a corner with 1099 trying to get to his feet. Max finally lands the big splash in the corner that he wanted earlier. He takes off the ropes as 1099 is in the center of the ring and then jacks his jaw with a big boot from the ropes! The monster from Baton Rouge sinks like a stone after the boot and the Beast of the Bright Lights is being shown some love by the DEFIANCE Wrestling Faithful! 

Lance:
I never thought I’d live long enough to see any member of the Lucky Sevens being cheered by our fans after all the horrible crimes they committed as members of the Better Future Talent Agency. 

DDK:
And after they destroyed Tom Morrow by launching him with a double team powerbomb through a table outside the ring, we still haven’t seen him since! 1099 may have the same fate coming! 

One half of DEFIANCE’s Hottest Tag Team (allegedly) has 1099 locked in his sights. He has his hand up ready for the Winning Hand. He goes to lock in … 

1099 ducks! 

He catches Max Luck with a quick upper cut and then hits a back elbow in succession. Max might be out on his feet again. 

Lance:
That strike combo by 1099 just stunned Max! He has the double arms around the throat!

He picks Max up for a double handed choke bomb but Max hits him with a punch of his own to break up the move! Max then locks the Winning Hand on 1099 to a huge cheer … then a big Winning Hand Slam that shakes the ring!

DDK:
Winning Hand Slam! Max Luck makes the pin! 

Max makes the pin with all the weight on 1099’s shoulders while holding up the Winning Hand for the audience!

One … 

Two … 

Three! 

DING DING DING

♫ “World On Fire” by Corrosion of Conformity ♫

After being in a fight, Max Luck enjoys the victory! The official raises his massive arm and when Max lifts up, the ref almost goes with him! 

Quimbey:
The winner of this match … MAXXXXX LUCK!!!

Max Luck holds up the Winning Hand one more time and then calls for the DEFIANCE Wrestling Faithful to join in. Hordes of hands go up in unison. 

Lance:
1099 gave Max Luck a run for his money but tonight the Beast of the Bright Lights scores the victory! Can Mason and Lonnie Luck score the win over PCP next week for Lonnie to earn a shot at The D’s Favoured Saints championship?

DEFtv 207
Night Two Exclusive
Just Before The Main Event

It has been one night removed since the luchador Mil Vueltas seemingly buried the hatchet with former rival Butcher Victorious while also telling off his former Familia member, DLJ. Casually strolling down the hall wearing a long-sleeved navy blue dress shirt, black slacks and a blue and black variation of his normal mask, The Man of a Thousand Flips comes to a stop at the men’s locker room. He takes a moment to himself, then taps on the door. 

Mil Vueltas:
Hola? 

No response. He knocks again. 

Mil Vueltas:
I’m looking for The D… 

He realizes what he’s just said. 

Mil Vueltas:
Walked into that one. D? Klein? You in there? 

He slowly opens the door and walks into the commons area. Seated for the main event are several wrestlers including Theodore Cain, Crescent City Kid, Wingman Titus Campbell (yep, the entire Gulf Coast Connection), Nicky Synz, and several other BRAZEN talent for what looks like a locker room sellout. Mil approaches fellow masked wrestler Crescent City Kid first. 

Mil Vueltas:
Hey… you see Klein or The D here? I need to talk to them. 

CCK points at another section of the area where The D and Klein are firmly seated. The Ace of Space nods towards The Kid and then approaches the other members of PCP. 

Mil Vueltas:
Hey… Tienen un minuto? Got a sec to chat?

He turns to the rest of the locker room commons.

Mil Vueltas:
Lo siento, gente. Can we have two minutes? I’ll make this fast. 

Theodore Cain:
Yeah, dude, but hurry up. We wanna see this match!

Titus Campbell:
Yeah, what he said. I got money on this one… 

Nicky Synz:
I thought you… wait, don’t you have a gambling problem?

Titus Campbell: [taken aback]
What? Hell, no… Kid does. Let’s go, Kid. 

CCK frantically shakes his head in denial… then hides what looks like a wad of scratch tickets before the group leave. The GCC, Synz and the other wrestlers in attendance leave the locker room as Mil grabs a chair and has a seat across from the current Favoured Saints Champion and Klein. 

Mil Vueltas:
Hey… Nice work beating Uriel. Anyone who makes him lose… eh… that makes my heart smile. 

Klein gives The D a nice big slap on the back, but honestly they’re a little distracted as Elise Ares makes her way into the ring. Despite OSCAR BURNS saying he wasn’t going to bother, it was fair to say the Pop Culture Phenoms trusted him less than a dog sitting next to a plate of peanut butter.

The D:
Thanks. Hey. We’re kinda busy here. Did you say you wanted one minute or two? Whatever. Lemme speed this along. You wanna see if you can take on the D, one on one, for the FS title I bet. Have your people call my people. I ain’t nothing but a defending champ.

Mil does have one eye on the title, but shakes his head. 

Mil Vueltas:
I do… but that’s not why I’m here. You beat me to win that title. I threw how you say… shit fit. That wasn’t right to ruin what was a big moment for you. That doesn’t sit right with me and after some recent things going on en mi vida… I need to own up to attitude I’ve shown lately. I need to stop blaming everyone else for the things I’ve done. 

He stands up from his seat and offers his hand. 

Mil Vueltas:
Lo siento. I’m sorry. 

The D looks at Klein.

Klein:
He’s apologizing. It’s what you do when you feel bad about doing something.

The D continues to look at Klein. Empathy is lost on him.

The D:
Cause… it backfires?

Klein rolls his eyes, but it could be worse. Elise could be there to agree with him.

The D:
It’s all good Lucha Cuz. Don’t feel bad, I’ve got the gold. If anyone should feel bad it’s me! I kinda cheated you a little outta this thing.

The D slaps the belt twice.

Mil Vueltas:
Look… you won. I lost. And instead of being sore loser… I need to move on and that’s what I’m doing. Starting tonight, DEFIANCE is getting un nuevo yo… brand new me. 

He looks at Klein. 

Mil Vueltas:
We’re good. 

Klein looks back at Mil and the box nods.

Klein:
We’ve been on opposite sides of a lot of things but Mil, you have no need to apologize. You’ve always been straight with us, even if we didn’t deserve it. If you want someone to beat Uriel again, just give us a knock. You know where to find us.

The Boxman extends a hand to Mil Vueltas and looks straight into his eyes through roughly cut holes. Mil looks up at The Boxman before shaking his hand. 

Mil Vueltas:
Appreciate that, amigos. Dejaré que vuelvas a la lucha. Enjoy the match! 

He flashes a quick deuces to the pair and starts to leave the locker room commons. 

The D narrows his eyes at Mil’s hand gesture, but turns his attention back to the television monitors as the Main Event theatrics begin. Klein happily waves Mil off.

After leaving the locker room, Mil looks around to make sure the coast is clear and that the other roster members were away… 

Then reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a small bike chain. He quickly wraps the lock around both door handles and then fastens it shut before tucking the key away in his pocket. The camera catches a quick shit-eating smile from the side of Mil’s mouth as he walks away calmly. 

Hurrying around the corner, the Crescent City Kid is the first to come back. He tries to open the door to the locker room, only to stop when he sees the lock. He starts to pull at the door, but the lock doesn’t budge! 

Theodore Cain and Titus Campbell come back and see their tag partner trying frantically to open the door. 

Theodore Cain:
Bro… what the hell’s up Kid's bumhole?

Titus Campbell:
I told you! He had money on that match! 

DDK:
We’ve reached our main event of tonight’s show and… it’s a doozy. After what happened last week at the conclusion of DEFtv 207 Night Two… tonight, The GC Universe - on behalf of OSCAR BURNS - will be offering a big opportunity from what I’m told in this match. A special battle royal where the winner will be granted a $50,000 cash prize and what is being referred to only as a “golden opportunity!”

Lance:
After what Mil Vueltas did by turning his back on The Faithful, as well as making fake niceties with BOTH Butcher Victorious and, as we saw in that earlier footage… The D and Klein. All to keep them away from what The GC Universe did to Elise Ares with their heinous assault. 

DDK:
Indeed. A $50,000 Cash Prize alone would be enough to get anyone to participate in this Battle Royale… but what kind of “golden opportunity” is being offered?

Lance:
One only knows. OSCAR BURNS isn’t here on account of… quote… “he doesn’t do UNCUT” in those exact words. But the GC Universe Spokesman - wrestling Hall of Famer Sonny Silver - is here on hand to announce this match and award the $50,000 check to the winner. Let’s go to ringside where Sonny Silver and… as we’ve been requested to inform you, NOT Darren Quimbey… will be standing by ringside for this main event! 

The camera pans over to the stage… 

…where Sonny Silver is present with a GC Universe-branded microphone in hand. Wearing his new Wednesday best of a pinstriped black suit with a burgundy-colored tie, Sonny grins to the Faithful. 

Sonny Silver:
Hello, assholes. 

BOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sonny continues grinning through the booing. 

Sonny Silver:
Tonight, The GC Universe on behalf of OSCAR BURNS - ALL CAPS, ALL GRAPS - proudly presents the first-ever 250 Pounds and Over Open Invitational Battle Royale! A check here for $50,000 will go to the winner… 

He pauses to show the GC Universe-branded novelty check on the stage. 

Sonny Silver:
…And a truly GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY… and that is an ALL CAPS GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY… will also be rewarded to the winner of this match! Now… Darren Quimbey, say some names for the monsters and brutes already in the ring now. 

Sure enough, there are a number of names from both the BRAZEN and the DEFIANCE roster present. 

Darren Quimbey:
Introducing the participants… two members of the Gulf Coast Connection… “WINGMAN” TITUS CAMPBELL AND THEODORE CAIN!

The 6’6” and 271-pound Campbell, along the 6’2” and 250-pound (had to add a couple pounds before this battle royale) Theodore Cain pose to cheers! 

Darren Quimbey:
Weighing 264 pounds… ”TEXAN DRAGON” JUN IZUCHI!

Jun looks angry and all he wants to do is get his hands on OSCAR BURNS after what DLJ pulled on him a few weeks ago. He gets cheers as well! 

Darren Quimbey:
Weighing in at 267 pounds… STRONG AF!

The Seattle Strongman gets jeers but he ignores The Faithful. 

Darren Quimbey:
Weighing at 250 pounds… NO FUN DEAN!

Apathetically, No Fun Dean just waits. At ringside, his wife Slightly Fun Jen tries to encourage The Faithful for more cheers. 

Darren Quimbey:
Next, representing the DEFcepticons… Weighing 275 pounds… AL SPARKS! and his tag team partner… RYAN KNOX!

The former BRAZEN Tag Team Champions get cheers from the Faithful as well! 

Darren Quimbey:
Up next… weighing 253 pounds… MIDAS MANCINI! and his… getaway driver? Sure. Get away driver… weighing FOUR-HUNDRED POUNDS… GETAWAY JONES!

The Legitimate Italian-American Businessman, Midas Mancini adjusts his golden glove and looks all about a golden opportunity. Getaway Jones looks ready behind his tag team partner. 

Darren Quimbey:
And from Thailand… weighing 289 pounds… SOMCHAI!

The Thai Giant throws his hands up in the air. Next to him, a long-time BRAZEN talent stands present. 

Darren Quimbey:
Next, weighing in at 256 pounds… HURTLOCKER HOLT!

Holt poses and flexes his arms for the camera. And lastly, a young man stands present. 

Darren Quimbey:
And weighing in at 266 pounds… ”THE YOUNG BULL” TATE NEWELL!

Tate Newell, one of BRAZEN’s top stars stomps in place. With all the participants introduced, the bell rings… 

DING DING

AND ALL TWELVE MEN GET TO WORK! 

DDK:
There’s definitely a lot of mass in that ring right now! Both BRAZEN and DEFIANCE talent in this ring. Some of the people in that ring are fan favorites… but with a cash prize that large up for grabs, winning this match could be a good boost for anyone’s career!

Lance:
Indeed! They could win this match, take the money and run. That’s what I’m doing these days if OSCAR BURNS has anything he wants to offer. 

From the stage, Sonny Silver watches the action. Referees Carla Ferrari, Rex Knox and Hector Navarro are all watching for eliminations! Midas Mancini and Getaway Jones are battling it out with Campbell and Cain. Somchai is trying to fight with Hurtlocker Hold, Jun Izuchi charges right for No Fun Dean… 

LARIAT OVER THE ROPES!

No Fun Dean hits the floor as Jun pumps a fist for scoring the first elimination!

DDK:
We’re just a minute into this match and The Texan Cowboy has already eliminated No Fun Dean! 

Lance:
There’s definitely no love lost for Jun Izuchi and The GC Universe. Roughly a month ago, Izuchi was set up to take OSCAR BURNS, only to sub out his former friend, DLJ, at the last moment. Izuchi has been looking for payback since. 

Slightly Fun Jen walks away from No Fun Dean. Dean limps up and heads out of the locker room. Hurtlocker Holt and Ryan Knox continue to fight while Al Sparks and Somchai are having a go of trying to eliminate one another from ringside. The massive bodies in the ring all continues to try and score the next elimination. Jun Izuchi tries to go for someone else… but Strong AF attacks him! He clubs him in the back of the head and then tries to take him over the ropes. 

Campbell tries to get over the ropes, but Getaway Jones saves him in the nick of time! Cain comes to his partner’s aid! Meanwhile, Somchai tries to push Hurtlocker Holt aside… but out of nowhere, Tate Newell rushes in and hits a flying shoulder block that sends the 6’9” star! Hurtlockert Holt charges in and both men eliminate Somchai! 

DDK:
And there goes Somchai! Elimination number two! 

Newell holts out his hands to fistbump Holt… then Holt tries to grab him by the head to throw him over the top rope! Newell turns THAT around and the former Marine ends up hanging for dear life on the ring apron. He’s barely able to catch his footing… but The Young Bull already SPEARS him through the ropes, eliminating Holt in the process!

Lance:
Two in a row by The Young Bull! He’s wrestled for the BRAZEN Onslaught Title in the past and he definitely wants another shot at that title! 

DDK:
And the fights continue! 

Al Sparks and Ryan Knox keep fighting with Jun Izuchi and jump him. They send The Texan Cowboy to the ropes and then rock him with a huge double shoulder tackle! They both stand in the ring… 

Al Sparks and Ryan Knox:
DEFcepticons… DEF-IZE!

Then start putting the boots to Izuchi! 

Lance:
Great way to get around us being sued… but Izuchi needs help! 

DDK:
The DEFceptions are former BRAZEN Tag Team Champions and cult favorites of BRAZEN!

The two pick him up… but Izuchi fights! Chop for Sparks! A chop for Knox! One for Sparks! One for Knox! 

DDK:
The Texan Dragon isn’t going down quietly!

And The Young Bull runs in again! He has Ryan Knox lined up… Both men spear each other at the same time and crumble in a heap! Sonny Silver watches and cringes along with everyone else while watching from the stage! 

Lance:
Goodness! Both men favor that spear as a finish! That’s what happens when a Bull tangles with a Rhino! 

As both tank-like figures are down, Al Sparks and Strong AF continue to tussle. Inside the other side of the ring, Titus has Midas in a fireman’s carry and tries to muscle him over as Cain and Getaway Jones continue to fight. The Faithful continue to watch along with the big men a-fighting and a-fussing for $50,000 at stake. Getaway Jones slugs away at Cain and then throws the Smash Surfer across the ring… only for Cain to leap to the middle rope and then turn right back at Jones, knocking him off his feet with a big slingshot shoulder tackle!

DDK:
That was a new move by Theodore Cain! Great shoulder block! 

Midas Mancini slips behind Titus Campbell and then hits right hands! He jabs him with several forearms and then hits an elbow to the top of the head. Mancini then hits a huge suplex on Campbell! He pops up, but as soon as he does, Cain hits a dropkick of his own! 

Lance:
The Gulf Coast Connection are playing it smart! Work together until the very end, then may the best man win! 

Cain helps The Wingman up and the two get attacked by Getaway Jones! He pushes them to the ropes but they take him down with a double back elbow to the jaw followed by a double elbow drop to his big heart! 

DDK:
Gulf Coast Connection are doing well! Ooh! Spin kick by Al Sparks on Tate Newell! 

Sparks’ standing spin kick knocks down The Young Bull and he stands over before he helps Ryan Knox. The two grab The Young Bull and throw him from the ring! 

DDK:
And there goes Tate Newell! Not a bad showing for himself but they had the numbers… OH!

But as The DEFcepticons have just eliminated them, Strong AF sneaks up behind the pair as they’re near the ropes and then DUMPS them both! The Seattle Strongman gets jeers from The Faithful but he raises his hands. Sonny Silver looks interested at the cunning of the fellow Seattleite he once trained and is taking notes!

Lance:
Strong AF gets some jeers from this crowd! They love the DEFcepticons and Strong AF snuck up on them to send them both over the top rope!

DDK:
Strong AF has been someone looking for a break. If he keeps this up, we might be looking at it! Funny enough, Strong AF got his start wrestling at the Silver Lining Academy!

Strong AF looks out at Sonny then goes back to the action, but Jun Izuchi is there to cut him off with a huge big boot! 

Lance:
There’s a big boot by Jun Izuchi! We’re down to about half the original field! For one of these six men, they’re gonna be $50,000 richer by the end of this! 

Izuchi goes and NAILS Strong AF with a huge chop, but Strong AF fires back! The two continue to exchange pecs, doing beefy big men things! Titus Campbell and Theodore Cain once again try and get them out of the ring!

DDK:
Good grief! Listen to those shots! They are beating the heck out of each other! 

Lance:
We can hear those shots all the way up here at the Commentation Station! 

The brutes continue chopping and get cheers from The Faithful, only for Getaway Jones to come in and run them both over with a HUGE crossbody! 

DDK:
WHOA! Getaway Jones gets away with running down both Strong AF and Jun Izuchi! 

Izuchi, Jones and Strong AF are all down. Campbell and Cain both have hold of Midas Mancini and they both pitch him over the top rope!

DDK:
Mancini is gone! Seven men down five to go!

As all five men are in the ring, something suddenly comes over Sonny as he snaps his finger!

Sonny Silver:
Oh, good lord… damn it, ain’t this some shit. Guys… I forgot. There’s gonna be one more addition to this match. Sorry, my bad. Carry on. 

Cain and Campbell look confused… 

 

♫ “Flexicution” by Logic ♫

BOOOOOOOOOO!

Lance:
WHOA! FLEX KRUGER! FLEX KRUGER IS BACK! 

First, walking through the curtains is his manager and deadbeat brother of deadbeat referee Mark Shields - none other than Kyle Shields! He points behind him and The Faithful BOO the former man who once betrayed the Pop Culture Phenoms! Walking out onto the stage wearing black trunks, white boots and looking quite possibly more swole than he was the last time he was seen on DEFIANCE programming, FLEX KRUGER walks by Sonny and the two nod at each other before he makes his way down the ramp towards the ring! 

Lance:
It’s been months since we’ve last seen Flex Kruger! I think not long after he and Klein lost the Unified Tag Team Championships to PCP when they were Flex Appeal!

DDK:
That’s right! Klein returned to the side of Elise Ares and The D, but Flex was MIA and did some BRAZEN shows… but he’s BACK! 

Kruger looks like he means business tonight! Kyle Shields looks at Sonny, but he steps off to the side from Kyle not to be seen in the same shot. Back in the ring, Theodore Cain comes running at him, but Kruger hits him with a huge back body drop that sends him over the top rope and out to the floor! 

DDK:
AND JUST LIKE THAT, THEODORE CAIN IS GONE!

Lance:
He looks even BIGGER than he did last time! What’s he gotta be? 280? 290? 

Titus Campbell and Flex Kruger come to blows in the ring just as Getaway Jones dukes it out with both Strong AF and Jun Izuchi! Titus fires a number of right hands to Flex and tries a whip, but Kruger reverses! The big 271-pounder hits the corner then gets picked up and DROPPED with a huge thrust spinebuster! Flex stands up and looks incredibly confident right now! 

DDK:
Goodness! He just eliminated Theodore Cain and spiked Titus Campbell! 

He grabs Titus and then dumps him over the ropes as well! Titus goes out to the floor and Flex beats his chest like a jacked-up gorilla on his third can of Monster. 

Getaway Jones is being chopped by Izuchi in a corner while Strong AF and Flex come face to face. Strong AF flexes a bicep and Flex… well, flexes his pecs. Strong AF attacks him with a big right and then tries to overpower Flex, only to get picked up around the waist… then THROWN over the top rope with a huge belly-to-belly suplex! Strong AF goes out to the floor!

Lance:
Strong AF is gone! Only three men remain! 

Izuchi is pushed away by Getaway Jones… but then he gets SCOOPED UP by Flex! The Faithful gasp when he walks over and body slams Getaway Jones over the top rope! Sonny Silver looks pleased and Kyle Shields is quietly mouthing “yeah, fuck, yeah!”

DDK:
Flex Kruger looks in the best shape of his career and he’s just throwing bodies out of this ring left and right! 

Last is Izuchi, who WHACKS him with a chop! Flex for the first time, feels pain and winces after the big open-handed chop! 

THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!

Three big shots stun Flex and when he’s back against the ropes, The Texan Dragon rushes towards him! He hits him with a clothesline! 

DDK:
He’s almost got Kruger over… NO!

Kruger doesn’t go down! Izuchi then runs again, but Flex moves and sends him to the ring apron! Izuchi scrambles on the ring apron with The Faithful buzzing… but Kruger LOCKS HIM IN A FULL NELSON!

DDK:
FULL NELSON! KRUGER HAS THE FULL NELSON LOCKED IN! HE’S SHAKING DOWN JUN IZUCHI! 

The former Massive Dragon tries to fight back with The Faithful cheering him on, but Flex Kruger continues to ragdoll him over the top rope while the full nelson is locked in tightly! Flex continues to shake him around until the lights go dark… 

Then Izuchi slumps to the floor! 

DING DING DING

♫ “Flexicution” by Logic ♫

There is a loud mixture of responses in the ring. Some minor cheers for the dominant showing, but mainly jeers considering it’s Flex Kruger, a man that once stabbed PCP in the back in the name of gold! Flex poses on the middle turnbuckle and starts laughing, then flexing his pecs to the tune of his theme music! 

Sonny Silver:
Here is your winner… a former BRAZEN Champion! A former Trios Champion! A former Unified Tag Team Champion! 

Sonny Silver and Kyle Shields enter the ring. Kyle claps like a seal while Sonny awards him with the $50,000 novelty check!

Sonny Silver:
And now $50,000 richer… 

Flex raises the check. 

Sonny Silver:
FLEXXXXXXXX KRUGER!

Lance:
What a return for Flex Kruger! He eliminates FIVE competitors in this battle royal and wins $50,000 that will no doubt fuel Kyle Shields’ gambling habits!

After the match is over, Sonny waves a hand over his throat for Flex’s music to be cut. 

Sonny Silver:
Congrats, big man! Welcome back to DEFIANCE… 

He points to Kyle. 

Sonny Silver:
You, not so much. 

Kyle Shields:
Hey, I’m just fucking happy to be here, man. 

Sonny rolls his eyes, then focuses back on big Flex Kruger, who is grinning from ear to ear with the novelty check in his grasp. 

Sonny Silver:
Not only are you $50,000 richer… 

He points at Flex. 

Sonny Silver:
You have been awarded the Golden Opportunity by the GC Universe! You have been offered the role… OSCAR BURNS’ NEW BODYGUARD!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sonny holds his hand out for a handshake and nods. Flex looks down… 

AND FLEX SHAKES HIS HAND! 

Sonny holds his hand up to the sky and boos rain down on the arena as Kyle Shields claps along with them!

DDK:
NO WAY! LANCE… FLEX KRUGER HAS JOINED THE GC UNIVERSE! 

Lance:
This… this CAN’T be a coincidence. This just CAN’T be. 

Sonny raises the left arm of Flex Kruger, who takes in the jeers. Meanwhile, Kyle Shields is now holding the novelty check and is already funding four get-rich-quick schemes simultaneously. 

DDK:
Folks… we have to wrap up this edition of UNCUT, but we will be back next week for DEFtv action! For Lance Warner, I’m “Downtown” Darren Keebler… and I’m gonna be sick. 

One final shot shows Sonny Silver and Flex Kruger standing proudly as the show fades to black. 

THIS.

IS.

DEFIANCE.