DEFIANCE Uncut 167

 

DDK:
Welcome, one and all to our final episode of UNCUT before we get to the spectacle that is the two-night event, ACTS of DEFIANCE! As always, I’m “Downtown” Darren Keebler and with me at the Commentation Station is none other than Lance Warner!

Lance:
Thanks for the welcome! And what a wild two nights we just had at DEFtv! The Blood Diamonds ran amok and scored the shocking win over the Hollywood Bruvs and The Lads! Anxiously Intelligent - FLAKE of DEFIANCE Malak Garland and Southern Heritage Champion Dr. Ned Reform defeated challengers Rezin and “Black Out” Pat Cassidy!

DDK:
We’ve got some tag team action for you tonight! Later tonight, The GC Universe members FLEX and DLJ are in tag team action in an open challenge! But tonight, after weeks of these two teams trading victories on UNCUT, Gentlemen’s Agreement tries to settle the score against the cult favorite tandem of Count Novick and Sgt. Safety! 

Lance:
That match opens the show, so let’s get to the in-ring action now!

Darren Quimbey:

The following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first… 

♫ “Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats ♫

Darren Quimbey:
From Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 220 pounds… he is Officer of OSHA and The Safest Man in DEFIANCE… this is SGT. SAFETY!

The fans cheer as Sgt. Safety comes out with a shiny new Noise-O-Meter! The crowd cheers get louder as he points it to different sections of the arena to see who can make the most noise! After he does, he steps into the ring and then holds it out one more time for each side of the arena before handing off the decibel meter. Once he reaches the ring, the Connecticut Faithful cheer him on as he waits for his partner… 

♫ ”Bloodletting (The Vampire Song)” by Concrete Blond ♫

That music gets a big pop from the crowd! A blue must begins to bellow out from around the ramp.

Darren Quimbey:
And his partner… weighing in at 201 pounds and an alleged age of over 400 years old… COUNT! NOVICK!

The spotlight shines on the man, the myth… the Count! Count Novick, his usual vampiric self, hiding behind his cape before sweeping it behind him dramatically. He heads to the ring. He looks at Sgt. Safety, who has a hand out. The Count looks at him… 

Count Novick:
AH AH AH!

The Count and The Sarge head into the ring and then wait for their opponents. 

♫ “Land of Hope and Glory” ♫

Darren Quimbey:
And their opponents, at a combined weight of 459 pounds… accompanied by “Royal Guard” Earl Roberts, they are Oliver Tarquin Monroe and Lord Sewell… GENTLEMEN’S AGREEMENT!

The theme plays and out come all three members of the group. Lord Sewell with a red overcoat and yellow epaulets, covering a red and gold singlet. Oliver Tarquin Monroe with a dark gray sleeveless coat. He takes it off to reveal a sleeveless button-up shirt and tie, which he adjusts, but his arms are free to show off his chiseled guns. “The Royal Guard” Earl Roberts, wearing a clean black singlet and wearing his black Royal Guard hat. Once all three men make it to the ring, Lord Sewell and OTM shake hands with one another, while Earl Roberts stands still with his arms folded behind his back. 

Oliver Tarquin Monroe:
Stand! Applaud! Show some decorum, you knaves! 

When the old-timey tag team get jeered, Lord Sewell and OTM climb inside the ring and stand across from The Count and The Sarge. Sewell and OTM get ready. Sgt. Safety gets to start for his side while OTM requests he start for his. Lord Sewell gives him his approval to Monroe as referee Hector Navarro calls for the bell. 

DING DING

OTM goes on the attack first by running at Safety with a quick knee to the chest and then hits a swift uppercut! The Sarge gets rocked as Monroe then bends Safety’s neck and hits him in the face with a left knee, a right knee, then double knees to the head that send him to the ropes! The Officer of OSHA is leaning over the ropes and checking his lip. The Faithful are all over the Gentlemen’s Agreement trio with jeering as OTM stands over Sgt. Safety and starts mocking him. 

Oliver Tarquin Monroe:
You sir… are uncouth! 

He grabs Sgt. Safety and then whips him off the ropes. When he comes back, he swings for a clothesline, but The Sarge ducks under the attack, then comes off the other side with a big running crossbody! The Faithful cheer when Safety pops back to his feet and then hits a DEEP arm drag! Monroe is up in a daze when Safety picks him up and drops him with a big body slam! 

DDK:
Signature offense on display by The Sarge! He and Count Novick have made for a unique, but effective team but this will be a true test for them! 

When The Officer of OSHA waits on OTM to stand, he locks him up with an armbar and then drags him to the corner. The Faithful cheer as Count Novick gets the tag and climbs to the top rope. He poses with his cape out, then leaps and hits a jumping elbow off the top of Monroe’s head! The Count stands over him!

Lance:
You said it! They’ve obviously been working together! 

The Count grabs the arm of Monroe and cackles with the fans laughing along, then tags to Sgt. Safety again. They whip Monroe into the ropes where the pair take him off his feet with a big double dropkick! Safety with the cover!

ONE!

TWO!

NO!

DDK:
The Count and The Sarge are working really well togeth… wait…

Lance:
Explain to me what Earl Roberts is doing? 

Sgt. Safety looks up where The Royal Guard stands up on the ring apron, arms behind his back and remaining stoic. Safety tries to ignore him, but Navarro warns him to leave the apron. Sgt. Safety steps forward, but with the official’s attention elsewhere, Lord Sewell is able to come in and blast The Sarge with a running knee to the back that knocks him into the ropes! The Faithful jeer as the leader of the trio flees the ring to avoid detection and Earl Roberts calmly walks off the apron and down the steps to resume his original position on the floor. 

Lance:
That’s the Gentlemen’s Agreement we know, pulling off ungentlemanly things. 

DDK:
That they are, Lance. Now OTM grabs Safety and Lord Sewell gets the tag. 

The two men get to the ropes and Sewell drops Safety with a classic drop toe hold, then Oliver Tarquin Monroe leaps over him to deliver a jumping elbow drop right to the upper back! OTM leaves the ring as Lord Sewell nudges The Sarge onto his back to get the win! 

ONE!

TWO!

NO!

Sgt. Safety gets the shoulder up! 

Lance:
Kickout by Safety, but Lord Sewell is going for the leg! 

Lord Sewell grabs the left leg of The Sarge and drives several elbows into the hamstring! Each elbow causes a yelp from Safety as he’s on the mat while Lord Sewell picks him up by the leg, wraps it around his own and then drops to the mat, damaging the leg further! Sewell gets glee out of tormenting him as he walks over and makes the tag to OTM. He holds the leg and the two men each take a leg and make a wish! The Sarge yells out in pain again and rolls over as OTM stands over him. 

Oliver Tarquin Monroe:
You cheer these… these heathens? Over men as RESPECTABLE as us? 

The booing answers OTM’s question. He grabs the knee of Safety and slams the knee into the canvas twice over! The Officer of OSHA favors the knee just before Monroe grabs the leg. He kicks Safety in the small of his back to try and force him over before locking in a standing half crab submission attempt!

DDK:
Submission attempt now by OTM! Gentlemen’s Agreement have taken apart that knee ever since they’ve taken over this match! 

Lance:
These two groups have battled it out for weeks! Sgt. Safety scored a win over Earl Roberts after laughing about a loss Gentlemen’s Agreement had to The Lads. Then a couple weeks ago, Lord Sewell defeated Count Novick in singles action. Tonight is the rubber match. 

Count Novick is watching and waiting for a chance to tag his partner while Safety tries to army-crawl his way towards the ropes. He starts making it closer and closer with OTM trying to fight to keep him in place… 

He’s almost there… but OTM drags him away! 

DDK:
No! He was so close!

OTM goes to pull him up… but Sgt. Safety rolls him up in a schoolboy! 

ONE!

TWO!

NO!

Sgt. Safety and Oliver Tarquin Monroe both roll him up to their feet, but Safety uses his good leg and plants OTM into the canvas with Safety First! 

DDK:
Sgt. Safety hits Safety First! The leg drop bulldog connects, but he needs to make a tag! 

Lance:
Count Novick is ready! 

Monroe holds his face in pain, but follows the sound of Lord Sewell’s screaming voice! OTM rolls to the corner and tags Sewell quickly as Sgt. Safety crawls over… TAG TO NOVICK! The Faithful cheer when he climbs the top rope! 

DDK:
Here comes Count Novick! He wipes out Lord Sewell with a big diving crossbody! 

The Faithful cheer when The Count wipes out Lord Sewell with the big aerial move! He rolls through and lands on his feet. When he sees Oliver trying to limp to his feet, he lands a dropkick that knocks him off the apron! He crosses his arms, then kips up to his feet to loud cheering heard all throughout the Mohegan Sun Arena! He waits for the chance to attack Sewell. He catches him… then hits Bump in the Night! 

ONE!

TWO!

THR…NO!

DDK:
Kickout by Sewell! Bump in the Night almost got him, but I think he’s gonna look for The Graveyard Smash! 

Lord Sewell barely kicks out while Count Novick rolls away, but Earl Roberts climbs the ropes. He tugs on The Count’s cowl, but Novick kicks him in the face twice to knock him off the apron. He then stands up and tries to take flight with the Graveyard Smash… but Lord Sewell gets the knees up! The Faithful jeer as Sewell hits a bridging German suplex! 

ONE!

TWO!

NO!

DDK:
No! That distraction by Earl Roberts almost did them in, but Novick kicks out! 

OTM tries to get back in the ring yet again and Sewell gets the tag. Once he makes his way in, OTM tries to grab Novick and they set him up for a double-team suplex… but out of nowhere, Sgt. Safety comes in and tackles Lord Sewell, leaving Count Novick to roll up OTM! 

Lance:
No! Rollup by Novick! He counters The Handshake Deal into an inside cradle!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

DING DING DING

Novick rolls out of the ring along with Sgt. Safety! 

♫ ”Bloodletting (The Vampire Song)” by Concrete Blond ♫

Darren Quimbey:
Here is your winner… SGT. SAFETY AND COUNT NOVICK!

The two men leave the ring with Navarro pointing at the duo! OTM scowls and gets angry with the decision, trying to argue that he kicked out, but the official’s decision is final! 

DDK:
What a conclusion! After some cheap tactics over the past couple of weeks including a sneak attack on Sgt. Safety and stealing a past win over Count Novick, The Count and The Sarge even the score! 

Lance:
What an opening to tonight’s show! The cult favorites walk away with a big win in tag team action! And coming up shortly… The GC Universe’s DLJ and FLEX are in action and will take on a mystery team! 

With Gentlemen’s Agreement all protest with Hector Navarro, Sgt. Safety and Count Novick celebrate on the ramp!

♫ “Abracadabra” by the Steve Miller Band ♫

The house lights come down in the Mohegan Sun Arena. True to Lance’s observation, an array of white, purple, and gold spotlights dance in figure-eights across the curtain behind the stage.

Darren Quimbey:
Ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy this very special presentation from brothers CARLO and GOMEZ… the AMAZING AMARETTOS!!

KA-POOMF!

Carlo Amaretto appears from a cloud of purple smoke.

Carlo Amaretto:
AVANTI, D’FIANCE! 

KA-POOMF!

Gomez Amaretto appears right next to him from another explosive smokecloud.

Gomez Amaretto:
AVANTI, petty hampshire of Connectecyoo!

Carlo Amaretto:
DO YOU get up and adjust your high definition flatscreen televisions! What you are seeing is neither ILLUSION, nor AYE-EYE!

Gomez Amaretto:
Your BRRRAZEN Tag Team Champions, the AMAAAAZING AMARETTOS, have returned to DEF-TELEVISE to bestow the puny little people with our gifts in MAGIC and MAYHEM!

The twin brothers dance themselves into position, pirouette in sequence, and come around with the BRAZEN Tag Team Titles now securely around their waists.

Carlo & Gomez Amaretto:
AAAMAAAAAAZZIIIIIIIIIINNGG HAHAHAHAHA!!!

While the brothers revel in their moment of magical triumph, their not-so-lovely assistant Suzie emerges from beyond the curtain, burning a menthol down to the filter with both hands clenched to a rope slung over her shoulder. She seems to be dragging something heavy. 

She also happens to be sporting a foppish white beehive wig and glamorous mantua-style dress.

Carlo and Amaretto notice her and double-take.

Carlo Amaretto:
Foolish woman! The gag was meant to be the French Resistance -- not the Revolution!

Gomez Amaretto:
Because we’re IN the REZISTANCE! Duh! We had our hats set up to turn into berets and everything! You’re ruining the bit!

Suzie Antionette blinks and puffs indifferent off her dart.

Suzie:
…okay, then whats was the point of draggin’ this out?

Suzie Antoinette pulls more on the rope, bringing a tall wooden scaffolding on wheels into view. At the top, a sharpened METAL BLADE glints in the light.

DDK:
Oh my, that’s a GUILLOTINE! Suzie channeling Marie Antoinette here?

Lance:
Seems to be the case.

Carlo has grown irritable. Gomez looks absolutely frazzled.

Carlo Amaretto:
Whatever… just get into position!

Gomez Amaretto:
The SHOW must go on!

Suzie:
Woyks for me. Them slots machines next door is callin’, boys.

Suzie goes around to the back of the scaffolding and scales up the steps to the pillory. While the brothers secure her into place, they flash their matching grins to the camera.

Carlo Amaretto:
What you are about to witness, ladies and gentlemen, is a feat of WONDROUS MAGNITUDE! Behold, the NOGGIN’ NEGATOR of NORMANDY!

Gomez Amaretto:
Or, as our pitiable OPPONENTS know it as… L’GWIYYOTWAINN!! A murderous mechanism that has seen the fall of entire EMPIRES!

Suzie’s head now protrudes from the pillory, cigarette still in her lips. Carlo points to the blade above, suspended by two thin cables coming down the sides of the scaffolding.

Carlo Amaretto:
I assure you, little pea-minded peon people, that the blade you see above is REAL, and keen enough to split HARDENED STEEL!

Gomez waves his hands around Suzie’s head.

Gomez Amaretto:
Should it fall, it would NO DOUBT snuff out the tedious life of our dear not-so-lovely assistant in the mere BAT OF AN EYE!

Suzie rolls her eyes indifferently.

Suzie:
Eh…

Carlo Amaretto:
BUT… with our INCANTATION of SPINAL PSYCHONESIS, she may yet SURVIVE a premature brush with DEATH!

Gomez Amaretto:
Granting this FOUL woman many, many more years of meaningless existence!

Carlo Amaretto:
Take a final look at the world you see before you, dear Suzie!

Gomez Amaretto:
It may be the LAST THING YOU SEE!

Suzie cherishes the view with a yawn. Then her face disappears as the brothers hold up their capes to conceal her from view.

From somewhere, a sustained drumroll begins. Mirror images of one another, Carlo and Gomez hold up their hands and MAGICALLY materialize a pair of razor sharp ace cards -- spades and diamonds --and  look to one another.

Carlo Amaretto:
Ready, Gomez?

Gomez Amaretto:
As always, Carlo!

Carlo Amaretto:
Then by the names of BOWIE, BELAFONTE, BONO, and BRAZILE!

Gomez Amaretto:
SHIELD THIS HAG’S NECK FROM THE JUSTICE OF STEEL!!

The brothers SWIPE their sharpened cards, severing the support cables…

…and the blade FALLS!!

THWACK!!

The arena GASPS as the blade passes by their capes and crashes into the bottom of the scaffolding…

…but NOTHING falls into the basket! In an instant, Carlo and Gomez TEAR their capes aside, revealing Suzie’s not-so-removed head right where we last saw it! Suzie SURVIVES the guillotine!

“AAAA-MAAA-ZIIINNG!!!”

Carlo & Gomez Amaretto:
AAAMAAAAAAZZIIIIIIIIIINNGG HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Suzie:
Whoopeee…

The Faithful cheer while the Amarettos continue cackling and shoot streamers into the crowd. Fellow Rezistance member Olvir the Pornstar Viking comes out and hauls the guillotine offstage with Suzie Antoinette still secured within it.

The poor camera man has the unfortunate task of having to back up as wide as he can because he is seeing not one but two giants in the picture. 

The Lucky Sevens, Mason and Max Luck dressed to the nines in their dark green and red plaid suits, are in the house for the evening backstage.  Then it pans down to see the very confident Lonnie Luck walking around in his own black and white plaid suit. 

Mason Luck:
You killed it last week, Lon. You're on a roll. You pinned Klein, you pinned that stupid ass gas thief, Kyle Shields. You're on a roll.  

Lonnie Luck:
Thanks Max ... feeling great. Feeling super confident right now!

For the first time, the Littlest Luck is brimming with confidence.

Lonnie Luck:
Got some new threads. I got my champ suit on. The D's gonna get kicked in D's nuts, then I'm taking that Favoured Saints title. Nothing to it. 

When he says that, Max has to stop him. 

Max Luck:
Hey ... 

Max looks down at Lonnie. 

Max Luck:
Only telling you this as family ... don't underestimate The D. Not for a second. 

Mason Luck:
He's right ... for years we kicked their asses from tiger cages to Madison Square Garden. They finally got one over on us in Mexico, but that's not cause they aren't good ... but because they keep trying and they don't stop until the job's done.

Max talks to his cousin.

Max Luck:
They don't quit. You're just now trying to find your footing and they have an eight year head start. Elise has been chasing Burns around looking to get famous. The D can do the same. 

Lonnie agrees with them. 

Lonnie Luck:
You're right ... about all that. They're like me ... smaller people in a big man's world, but with all due respect to The D, I'm not waiting eight years to become the Favoured Saints champ. 

Max Luck:
That's the f[censored]g spirit, Lon. Kick some ass and bring home the gold. 

Lonnie Luck:
Sweet ... 

He realizes something. 

Lonnie Luck:
You guys hear about the GC Universe's challenge? Heard that someone took it ... was that you two? 

Mason Luck:
We were gonna ... but someone beat us to it ... 

Lonnie Luck:
Who?

Max Luck:
Let's just say someone's dusting off their singles tonight. 

Lonnie Luck:
Ahhh okay ... and what about that thing with that guy in BRAZEN? That uh ... Rowzilla? We meeting him here? 

Max Luck:
Yeah, we're gonna talk some business. Heard there was a Party coming up ... 

The trio keep on walking and the scene ends there. 

DDK:
Up next comes a match between two tag teams rapidly emerging here in DEFIANCE, starting with our BRAZEN tag team champions!

The house lights dim as spotlights in violet and gold circle the stage in figure eight patters, before a booming voice begins speaking. 

“Laaaaaaddieeeees annnnnnnnd genttttttleeemennnn!!!!”

ROAR!!!!

The second voice joins in.

“Prepare to be.... AMAAAZZZZED!”

“Abracadabra” by Steve Miller Band

Spotlights hit the top corners of the DEFIAtron, with explosions all around — all accentuated by purple plumes of smoke. Appearing at the top of the ramp are Carlos and Gomez Amaretto, wearing their top hats with gold sleeveless vests with the BRAZEN tag belts strapped over their magical waists.  

Lance:
The Amazing Amarettos are the David Copperfields of professional wrestling! They make magic not just with rabbit hats but with their tandem moves and in-ring wizardry!

Carlos and Gomez both make a synchronized lasso-type gesture with their hands, before each one awkwardly spinning around in opposite directions. They make a “ta da” pose as the pots of smoke pop again, and the Dazzling Duo vanish!  

DDK:
Wait, where did they go?

Now there are pots of smoke at ringside and -- somehow, moving up from under the floor to the ringside area are two giant disappearing boxes in the same gold pattern of the Amazing Amarettos’ vests. Carlo and Gomez each step out of each respective box before climbing to the ring apron, tipping their caps to the cheering crowd. Referee Rex Knox checks their boots and top hats for weaponry.

As soon as he finishes, the arena lights go black.

“Le Boob Oscillator” by Stereolab

The DEFIatron shows the Tri-Color French flag (along with swirling blue/red/white spotlights) followed by various shots of French propaganda -- the French football world cup team, various French Gold Medal champions, the eiffel tower, Napoleon, Audrey Tautou, Gerard Depreadieu, etc. Out from the back with the spotlight (of course) on her is Madame Melton in her Silver Vixen getup, although one with a shawl in French flag colors, along with a miniature French flag in her hand -- and her usual smile and eyes of madness.

DDK:
And here comes perhaps the most frightening woman in DEFIANCE today, the mastermind of Her Most Precious Gems, Madame Melton!

Lance:
Her tag team specialists The French Connection, along with stable mates JJ Dixon and MP1, have been absolutely lethal these past few weeks! We’ve seen them absolutely decimate so many people who have come across their path -- including Brock Newbludd, Corvo Alpha and The Atomic Punks with Dr. Sato!

DDK:
The Gems have even gone after you and Jamie Sawyers! But conspicuous by their absence…

The French Connection don’t appear as Madame remains at the top of the entrance ramp, waving her flag as she turns away from Her Adoring Public as her eyes and smirk turn sinister towards the ring. She then snaps her fingers as the arena lights turn on to reveal “The New Flying Frenchman” Jean-Pierre de la Reeves and Raiden behind the magicians each holding chairs —

Thwack!!! Thwack!!! Thwack!!!

DDK:
And this is an ambush! They just blindsided The Amarettos!

Melton cackles as she struts to ringside.She points at Knox who just hightails it.

Lance:
Of course it was a set-up! The Gems do not care about anything but causing chaos! 

Raiden holds the legs of one of the chairs to the top leans on the floor. 

DDK:
Reeves has Carlo — Release German Suplex onto the chair!!! 

Melton turns to the fans and bows. Reeves now holds up a chair as Gomez struggled to his feet. Raiden lets out a yell as he hits his Suddenly Last Slumber spinning backfist to Gomez, sending his head back into the chair held by The New Flying Frenchman.

Lance:
Raiden calls himself The Cause of Concussions for a reason! 

Melton calls off the dogs as they sneer over the ambushed Amarettos. The tandem rolls under the ropes and plant a kiss on each cheek of Mommie Dearest at the same time.

Madame Melton:
Does anyone realize what happens when The Gems enter your life? Your life as you once knew it ends! And this… this is why.,, Madame Melton! Is Ready! For her —

”GREETINGS, PUNY MORTALS!!!”

The lights of the Mohegan Sun Arena grow dim, as the DEFtron comes alive with the smirking visage of DEFIANCE’s resident Mad Science Queen herself, as she seems to stand… in the middle of space?

Dr. Ayumi Sato:
So you well and truly thought that you dealt a decisive blow to the ambitions of yours truly when you sucker punched us backstage last time, hmm? Well, you thought wrong, Melton, because like any self-respecting villain, I cannot, and WILL not, truly stay down until there is no breath left in my body. OR my Atomic Punks… try, try as you may.

Dr. Sato smirks and looks into our eyes, our souls, as she bares her teeth.

Dr. Ayumi Sato:
…but if you want to take another stab at it, perhaps we can indulge your French Connection in that ring… perhaps, at Acts of DEFIANCE?

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

DDK:
Dr. Sato laying the challenge down against Madame Melton and the French Connection!

The scientist seems to notice the reaction herself, as she giggles in self-satisfaction as she continues to stare down at the French Connection and Madame Melton as if they were ants.

Dr. Ayumi Sato:
Oh, and one more thing. Arthur Clarke once said that when you advance the science and technology enough, you can’t tell it apart from magic. Shall I give you a demonstration?

Not waiting for an answer, Dr. Sato smirks at us before raising her hand into screen view and snapping her fingers.

POOOOOOOF!!!

A trio of smoke geysers erupts, one from each box, leaving the crowd and the Gems confused, until the smoke clears…

Lance:
I don’t think the French Connection knows what’s about to hit them!

The crowd roars as, atop each magic box stands either an Atomic Punk, with Dr. Sato herself in between!

Fission is the first to slide under the ropes, while Gigaton follows suit, but Reeves and Raiden both slide out of the ring, taking Madame Melton with them as they scootch past Dr. Sato at ringside, the Punks’ eyes staring daggers into them. Dr. Sato looks at them contemptuously, mouthing off something about “yeah, you go run, cowards!” The camera cuts to the Punks, sizing up their prey as they run away from ringside.

DDK:
Coming up next in tonight’s main event for UNCUT, we have the heavy hitters of the GC Universe in action! FLEX was victorious on DEFtv 209 last week against Nicky Synz, but tonight, he will team with DLJ in tag team action in a tag team open challenge! 

Lance:
That’s how confident the likes of OSCAR BURNS and his have become in recent weeks since adding to their numbers. Tonight in the Mohegan Sun Arena, we will see who is going to step up to the GC Universe tonight in tag team action! 

The camera cuts to Darren Quimbey in the ring. 

Darren Quimbey:
The following tag team match is set for one fall and is your UNCUT main event!

He sighs and begins to read from a card. 

Darren Quimbey:
Here to introduce his clients… the OFFICIAL Spokesperson for the GC Universe… and it is contractually obligated per one OSCAR BURNS, to remind you that this man is a Wrestling Hall of Famer, multiple-time World Heavyweight Champion and has an AMAZING head of hair and pleasing baritone voice… 

Darren Quimbey looks at the camera in his best Jim Halpert manner. 

Darren Quimbey:
SONNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYY… SILLLLLLLLLVVEEEEERRRR!

BOOOOOOOOOOO!

Strutting his stuff to no music at all, the 6’3” former wrestler in the charcoal-colored suit grins and smiles. He holds out his hand in the middle of the ring and calls for THE OLD SKOOL MIC~! Once the retro microphone lands in his hands, he gets ready to address The Faithful. 

Sonny Silver:
Tonight, for a special UNCUT treat… you get to witness two of the finest athletic specimens in DEFIANCE today! Introducing first… this man as a bodyguard to the CENTER of the GC Universe itself! He is a former Unified Tag Team Champion… BRAZEN Champion… Trios Champion… inaugural Tag Party winner… and now he is… THE STRONGEST MAN IN THE UNIVERSE… weighing in at 278 pounds… 

He points to the stage behind him as one word appears on the DEFIAtron in gold… 

Sonny Silver:
FLEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!

♫ “Flexecution” by Logic ♫

Walking out from the back with a newfound swagger, FLEX walks out from the back with a hood covering his head and a golden shroud covering his body. He throws the shroud off, to reveal the amazing physique that he has been famous for! Wearing bright gold tights and wrist tape, along with white kneepads and boots with gold lines, FLEX basks in the jeers. He points to both sides of the stage with a fountain of sparks erupting! The camera does an entire 360 degrees around him to catch every last glistening muscle before coming back to face him. FLEX makes his way out and then his music cuts. 

Sonny Silver:
And his tag team partner… This man has the height of a skyscraper, and he’s faster than a NASCAR racer! HE IS THE FREAKIEST OF FREAK ATHLETES! He stands six-foot seven! He weighs 270 pounds… He is THE FASTEST BIG MAN ALIVE! He is ”THE FRONT RUNNER” … 

He smirks and holds up three fingers, one for each initial…

Sonny Silver:
D… L… J!

The DEFIAtron start flashing to life like a car speeding through a dimly-lit tunnel. A reverb of red lights continues to flash faster and faster until the beat kicks in… 

♫ "Faster (instrumental)” by Dax feat. Tech N9ne ♫

ZOOMING through the curtains and appearing on stage, is the former VV protege! Now cleared for competition, The 6’7” speeding monster leaps  around on stage and has on a burgundy-and gold singlet and knee pads, along with gold wrestling shoes in a nod to a certain Scarlet Speedster from another Universe. 

DDK:
DLJ has been present at shows, but was healing up from a minor elbow injury since UNCUT a couple months ago. He’s now back in in-ring action tonight! 

DLJ and FLEX both look to one another and bump fists before they head towards the ring to big jeers from The Faithful. They both reach the ring and climb inside. Sonny looks proud of himself as they wait to see who accepts the challenge. 

Sonny Silver:
Here’s the drill. Earlier this week, we put out an open contract for any team to come face us. We don’t care if you’re DEFIANCE. We don’t care if you’re BRAZEN. We don’t care if you’re some bum off the mean streets of Stanford. If you come to this ring, DLJ and FLEX won’t be held responsible for what happens to you. So… who’s it gonna be? 

His custom mic raises to the ceiling and the two wait… 

♫ “House of the Rising Sun” by Five Finger Death Punch ♫

Darren Quimbey:
Introducing their opponents … at a combined weight of six-hundred thirty-three pounds, they are “Big Bucks” Adam Roebuck” and “Big Slick” Derrick Huber … THE HOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUSSSSSSSEEEEEEE!!!!!

A big contingent of long-time wrestling fans cheer when the two large men appear on the top of the ramp. The muscular old-school looking strong man: six-five and two-hundred seventy-eight pound Derrick Huber on the left and the massive surly mountain of a man, six-foot seven and three-hundred fifty-five pound Adam Roebuck on the right. The DEFIANCE Wrestling Faithful give the veteran tag team cheers out of respect for their time in the sport! DLJ and FLEX look confused while Sonny looks annoyed, knowing their reputation! 

DDK:
Lance, look who it is! The House! 

Lance:
Indeed it is! Not the competition Sonny looks like he expected, but these two men! Sin City is their home, but they’ve wrestled in this arena for a number of years as well! And who better to bet bit in the Mohegan Sun Arena than The House! You never bet against The House!

DDK:
These two men between jOlt, LoC, nbW, and many other organizations across the world, including our very own BRAZEN… SEVENTEEN Tag Team Titles! 

Huber and Roebuck each head to the ring with a cheering crowd ready to see them in action. Derrick and Adam climb into the ring and though they have racked up a lot of miles together as a team, they look ready for a fight tonight! 

DDK:
These men are going to be more than a physical match to DLJ and FLEX! They better be ready! Both men have extensive history in tag team action with FLEX being a multiple-time champion and DLJ once working under Mil Vueltas and Uriel Cortez when they were a group, but… this is the VERY first time they’ve teamed! 

FLEX and DLJ both get ready for a fight tonight. FLEX starts off while “Big Slick” Derrick Huber starts for his team. 

DING DING

Big Slick and The Strongest Man in the Universe collide like two charging bulls! Both men hit at each other with a lot of force, but neither man leaves their feet! The two men crash into one another again and second verse, same as the first. FLEX makes his pecs bounce and dares for Derrick Huber to come at him. Huber brings the straps down on his singlet and does the same pec dance! 

DDK:
Are we… getting a pec dance-off?

Lance:
No other way to call it! 

Huber does it and The Faithful cheer! He dares FLEX to do it next. He flexes his pecs… and gets booed! FLEX stomps a foot into the mat gives up as Huber is declared the winner. 

DDK:
Derrick Huber wins the pec dance-off! 

FLEX dares Huber to come in for a collar-and-elbow tie-up and the veteran tag team wrestler engages. He holds a hand up… 

…then gets SMACKED from behind by DLJ! FLEX runs behind him and he crashes into Adam Roebuck on the apron with a running forearm smash! Sonny directs traffic for the two powerhouses to single out Derrick Huber!

DDK:
That was a great trick! The House have the tag team experience, but that was a call out of the Sonny Silver playbook! 

Carla Ferrari warns DLJ about getting back to his corner, so The Front Runner does just that. FLEX headlocks Huber and tags in DLJ to give The Fastest Big Man Alive a free shot. DLJ zooms off the ropes and SMACKS into Huber with a flying clothesline off the ropes! After he goes down, FLEX adds in a biceps-flex before dropping a huge jumping elbow to the chest! FLEX moves for DLJ to try and go for the pin. 

ONE!

TWO… NO!

Lance:
There’s a kickout by Huber, but look at how well FLEX and DLJ are teaming up! 

DDK:
FLEX will likely be leading the charge there. He’s a former Unified Tag Team Champion as well as a World Trios champion when those titles were active! 

FLEX returns to the corner and wants a quick tag from DLJ. James tags in and the GC Universe members whip Huber to the ropes. Unbeknownst to them, Roebuck makes a blind tag as both men duck for a double back body drop. Huber kicks over DLJ and then FLEX, allowing Roebuck to CRASH into both with a stereo clotheslines! Sonny is in shock while The Faithful cheer for The House! Huber and Roebuck pose in the audience! 

Lance:
The House are showing what’s made them so successful. Seventeen Tag Title reigns over two decades is remarkable! 

DDK:
And now they’ve got FLEX! 

“Big Bucks” Adam Roebuck grabs FLEX and then drops him with a back suplex on the mat! FLEX wrenches his back in pain as Roebuck slowly gets up and tags Derrick Huber back in. Huber and Roebuck launch FLEX to the ropes and run him down with a double shoulder block! FLEX is back up in a daze and the two powerhouses from Sin City pick him up and drop him with a huge double body slam. 

Roebuck drops a huge elbow drop.

Then Huber does the same! 

DDK:
Lots of double-team moves have been fired off by The House! Cover on FLEX!

Huber hooks the leg! 

ONE!

TWO!

NO!

FLEX kicks out. 

DDK:
He kicks out, but Huber and Roebuck are holding court right now! 

Sonny Silver is angry at ringside and didn’t expect this much resistance from their opponents this evening! Huber grabs FLEX by the neck and tries to suplex the Strongest Man in the Universe… but he doesn’t expect it when FLEX powers HIM up in the air and sends him crashing to the mat with a huge standing release suplex that wows The Faithful first! 

Lance:
How the turntables for FLEX… wait, darn it. Can I start that call over?

DDK:
We’re live, buddy… sorta. But what my partner means to say is the GC Universe have taken over by sheer virtue of FLEX’s strength. 

Huber is down on the canvas and FLEX drops a big knee drop into his chest! Big Slick is hurt when FLEX reaches over and tags in DLJ. The Front Runner leaps over the ropes and waits for Huber to stand before the 270-pound athlete leaps up and back off the ropes, crashing into Derrick with a HUGE springboard back elbow off the middle rope!

DDK:
Good grief! More agility and speed on display by the likes of DLJ! I never thought that same goofy kid from Titanes Familia would turn out this way, but Uriel turning his back on him really did a number didn’t it?

Lance:
It surely did. But studying under the learning tree of Sonny Silver and OSCAR BURNS has really helped accentuate some of his physical gifts. 

DLJ grabs Huber by the neck to pull him to his feet, but Huber fights back! A pair of big rights connect to the side of DLJ’s head before Huber whips him to the corner. Huber charges in, but gets a boot from The Front Runner first before he’s slammed head-first into the neutral corner. DLJ then points to the corner and runs cross-corner before coming back to smash into Derrick with a running corner splash! DLJ points for one more and zooms across the ring before doing it a second time! 

DDK:
And there’s DLJ picking up the pace. That speed and power combined is what’s made him such a force! With victories over Rezin and Butcher Victorious in the past, the future is bright for this young man! 

Huber is pulled out of the corner as DLJ charges off the ropes to hit him with the Dash and Bash! Huber goes down hard and DLJ celebrates! 

DLJ:
I GOT HIM, BBY! 

Then gets jeered as he goes for a cover!

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

Huber kicks out!

Lance:
Another uncalled-for shot at Elise Ares, but Huber kicks out again!

DDK:
Where is Huber getting this from? These two powerhouses are picking Huber apart! 

Roebuck is pacing on the ring apron like a grizzly bear ready to strike. He stomps on the ring apron with The Faithful cheering along, but DLJ has Huber in the corner for a tag from FLEX. DLJ charges in the corner and hits a flying back elbow, then throws him into the grip of FLEX who drives him down with a big front spinebuster! FLEX poses on one knee and stacks Huber for the pin. 

ONE!

TWO!

NO!

DDK:
Another kickout by Huber! I don’t think Sonny Silver expected this would be so competitive, but DLJ and FLEX are working really well together under the circumstances. 

Lance:
Huber’s taken a lot of punishment, though, and he knows he has to make it to Adam Roebuck. 

FLEX cranks down on his hands like he’s gonna go for the full nelson that put down Nicky Synz last week. He snatches Huber up slowly while he’s on a knee and locks in a half nelson. He tries to fully secure the full nelson… but Huber gets a burst of strength from The Faithful and sends FLEX up and over with a hip toss! FLEX cracks the mat and stands up in a daze, only to get blasted with a huge discus clothesline by Huber! Both big men are down now! 

DDK:
What a shot by Huber! He calls that The Money Line and now he needs to reach out to Roebuck. 

Roebuck is frothing at the mouth to get in and hurt somebody. Sonny shouts at FLEX to get to DLJ and points towards the corner. In a complete daze, FLEX reaches out to the corner and he’s able to get DLJ. Danny Three Sports gets in to the ring… 

TAG.

DDK:
The Big Bucks is in! Adam Roebuck is in! 

The big man dares DLJ to come at him and he does, but Roebuck mows him down with a huge clothesline first! James tries to stand after with no idea of where he is when a second clothesline from Roebuck knocks him down. The veteran tag team wrestler pulls DLJ up by his head and then the 360-pounder hits a STANDING DROPKICK to James!

Lance:
What the heck! The House still got it! Roebuck rocks that dropkick at forty-seven years old! 

Roebuck slowly stands up as he waits on DLJ to stand, then scoops him up. He walks around the ring with 270 pounds in his arms and then scores with The Bottom Dealing!

DDK:
That’s The Bottom Dealing! That walking scoop powerslam just shook the ring! 

YOU STILL GOT IT! Clap x5
YOU STILL GOT IT! Clap x5
YOU STILL GOT IT! Clap x5

Roebuck hears the cheers and the ferocious big man brawler goes for a cover!

ONE!

TWO!

FLEX BREAKS IT UP! 

DDK:
FLEX there in the nick of time! 

Sonny’s concerned expression says it all outside the ring.n The Strongest Man in the Universe delivers clubbing forearms across the back of Roebuck and attacks him, but Huber comes back in and goes after FLEX with a volley of right hands!

Lance:
And the action is breaking down! Carla Ferrari might have lost track of who’s legal! 

Huber and FLEX fight until FLEX pulls his neck over the ropes! The recoil snaps Derrick’s neck! 

DDK:
FLEX turns it around on Huber! Carla checking on him! 

But as Carla’s attention is on FLEX, Roebuck has DLJ set up for a Bad Hand until he feels two hands wrap around his waist! Roebuck can’t react when FLEX suplexes the 360-pounder with a HUGE release German suplex! FLEX leaves the ring to jeers while DLJ takes a moment to compose himself!

DDK:
I don’t believe what I just saw! The Strongest Man in the Universe might be an appropriate billing after he german suplexed Adam Roebuck! 

Lance:
And now DLJ has a free shot! 

The legal men are DLJ and Roebuck. DLJ winds his arms back and runs off the ropes before he SMACKS Roebuck right between the eyes with his signature running palm strike! The man mountain falls onto his back! 

DDK:
GODSPEED! GODSPEED BY DLJ! 

DLJ holds his hand in pain from hitting such a large man, then ducks down into the cover! He hooks a leg for good measure on the big man! Huber tries to interrupt, but FLEX is there to cut him off!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

DING DING DING

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

♫ "Faster (instrumental)” by Dax feat. Tech N9ne ♫

DLJ rolls away from the cover and makes it back to his feet! FLEX joins him in the ring along with Sonny Silver and the two monsters celebrate the win! 

Darren Quimbey:
Here are your winners… THE GC UNIVERSE!

The All caps crew of FLEX and DLJ have their arms raised by Sonny Silver mid-ring! After the celebrate, FLEX does a pec dance and DLJ is smiling, but his hand is still no doubt sore! 

DDK:
That is all the time we have tonight for UNCUT, but join us again in two weeks from now when DEFIANCE brings to you ACTS of DEFIANCE! SO many rivalries coming your way! Stay tuned! For Lance Warner, I’m “Downtown” Darren Keebler! Good night! 

The GC Universe celebrate a successful victory tonight in a highly-competitive match against a true veteran team. FLEX, DLJ and Sonny bask in victory as the show comes to a close. 

THIS.

IS.

DEFIANCE. 

LIVE on pay-per-view October 2 & 3 from TD Garden in Boston

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