Grindhouse: GERMANY 2014

Quimbey:
The following contest is set for one fall, with a twenty minute time limit, and it is for the number one contendership to the FIST of Defiance!  

[Dokken’s “Breaking the Chains” begins to play.]

Quimbey:
Introducing first!  Hailing from Atherton, California, and weighing in at 205 lbs!  Accompanied to the ring by Wayne Dewey!  Seth!  STRATTON!

[The tennis prodigy turned professional wrestler makes his way to the ring.  Due to his mild OCD he stays as near the middle of the ramp as he can, trying not to let the fans touch him. Once he’s in the ring, Dokken fades, and is replaced by Reveille’s “What’chu Got.”]

Quimbey:
And his opponent!  Hailing from Kingston, Jamaica, and weighing in at 142 lbs!  She is Claira! Saint! SURE!

[St. Sure makes her usual entrance, without any accompaniment by the Truly Untouchables.  She discards her robe at the foot of the ramp before stepping into the ring.]

DING!  DING!  DING!

[St. Sure dives low for the takedown.  Stratton flails his arms and falls over backwards.  St. Sure jumps up into side control, shoots in on the arm.  Stratton bridges her off, gets to his feet and runs back into the corner and hugs the ropes.]

DDK:
This match happened because Claira St. Sure has been on a bit of a winning streak after spending time in the trios division.  She beat Troy Matthews on Grindhouse 07, and then Roger Stevens on Grindhouse 08, and called in a shot at the FIST.  Seth Stratton objected, and then this number one contender match between them got booked.

Angus:
Stratton didn’t want to wrestle St. Sure on Grindhouse 08, and he doesn’t seem to want to now either!

[Stratton slowly lets go of the ropes and then offers a knuckle lock.  St. Sure immediately puts him in an overhand wristlock.  Stratton makes the universal sign for “she grabbed my hair” and referee Carla Ferrari pulls St. Sure off of him.  Stratton wrings out his arm, then signals for another knuckle lock.  This time he tries to use his superior size to shove her to the mat, but St. Sure dodges and takes him down with a wakigatame armbar!  Stratton shrieks in a most un-manly high pitch and flails towards the ropes.]

DDK:
St. Sure is a top of the line grappler and very good striker.  Stratton is an… opportunist?  He got this match by seizing the opportunity, but it’s not doing him much of any good in the ring.

[St. Sure, frustrated by the stalling Stratton, doesn’t want to let go of the armbar, and so Carla has to force the break.  When she does, Stratton sneaks an eye poke over her back.  Clutching her face, CSS spins away, and Stratton knocks her to the mat with a backhand strike to the back of the head.  He quickly takes her over in an Oklahoma roll!]

ONE…!


...TWO…KICKOUT!


[Stratton pulls her up, Irish whip, hangs on and brings her back into a kitchen sink and follows it with a spinning neckbreaker!  He slides under the bottom rope, and springboards in - missing the knee drop as St. Sure rolls out of the way!  Favoring his knee, Stratton is halfway up when St. Sure smashes him in the cheek with a backfist, and follows that up with a spinning backfist!  Stratton drops and rolls, fleeing for his life.]

DDK:
We’ve seen Claira St. Sure finish matches with a combination that starts like that, and if nothing else Stratton had it scouted.

[Stratton slides out of the ring and gasps for breath.  He doesn’t pay attention, and St. Sure baseball slides right into his shoulderblades, sending him sprawling on the floor.  Instead of fighting on the floor, she throws him right back into the ring.]

Angus:
Y’know, when she fought Roger Stevens, they fought in the crowd and it didn’t go real well for her, putting it back in the ring was probably smart.

[St. Sure climbs to the top rope and connects with a missile dropkick, sending Stratton back down.  Again, Stratton rolls to the safety of the ropes.  This time he doesn’t quite make it.  CSS grabs him by the ankle, drags him back to the middle of the ring, and lies down on his back with a choke sleeper.]

Angus:
And CSS has a really good sleeper.  Cos she’s got muscles on girl-sized arms and there’s a physics thing where equal force over a smaller area does more damage.  So when you watch Claira St. Sure wrestle, you’re supporting Science.

[Stratton gets to his knees and CSS grapevines his legs out from under him, sending him face first into the canvas.  Stratton does a pushup, luges to the ropes, and checks his face as Carla makes St. Sure break the hold.  Clutching his nose, Stratton tries to beg off as Wayne Dewey makes the time-out symbol from ringside.  Carla blocks CSS from following up, and while she’s attending to that, Wayne grabs CSS’s ankle!  CSS turns to kick at him, Stratton lunges to his feet and knocks her over with a clothesline.]

[All pissed and stuff, Stratton mounts up and starts driving punches into CSS’s forehead.  Except after the first two, she gets her forearms up and deflects or blocks the worst of the shots.  Then she gets her legs up and rolls him off her with a sunset flip!]

ONE!

...TWO...Kickout!

[Stratton runs at CSS, but she ducks the knee shot.  Stratton spins around, Claira gets him in a standing arm triangle choke, then twists her body, suplexing him to the mat with the hold still applied!  Wayne Dewey gets up on the apron, yelling to Carla that it’s an illegal choke. Carla to keep St. Sure away.  Carla instead tries to get Dewey off the apron… giving Stratton a nice chance to hit the Hamstring Hammer! St. Sure falls to her knees.]

DDK:
A cheap shot by Stratton turns this one back around, and he’s pulling St. Sure up!

[A forehand strike to the head, a backhand strike to the midsection, and Stratton sets up the Match Point on his doubled-over opponent.  He stops to dry-hump St. Sure before running off the ropes-]

[-and she’s ready for him.]

DDK:
Northern lights suplex into a cross-armbreaker!  She’s got that synched in tight!  AND HE TAPS!  

DING!  DING!  DING!

Angus:
Yeah, I don’t think Stratton’s a big fan of the whole ‘being hurt’ thing. Kinda sucks that Claira’s with Kai Scott and the Truly Untouchables, cos this is the third time in a row that she’s proved she doesn’t need them.

[Stratton whimpers and moans and nurses his arm.]

DDK:
I know it’s Stratton, but - I’m not sure he’s faking that.  Claira snapped back awfully hard on his elbow joint when she applied that armbar.

Angus:
Yeah.  If he wants to fucking molest her in the ring, and I’m not saying I wouldn’t if I thought I could get away with it, well, there’s this thing called consequences.  Which is why I wouldn’t.  Ever.  Because I don’t want her to do horrible things to my elbow.

[St. Sure raises her arms to the crowd.]

RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Angus:
And you know, that’s not cool right there.  I mean, she just put that punk Stratton in his place, but she’s still a Truly Untouchable, she’d snap anyone’s arm who Kai Scott told her to.  And they’re cheering her?  Not smart man, not at all.

DDK:
I’m getting word from roving reporter Lance Warner there’s something our cameras need to see backstage.

Angus:
What’s next?

DDK:
Coming up… wait a minute, I’m being told that the arrival of Eric Dane’s big acquisition is finally here.

[Cut to the front of building.]

[Kelly Evans awaits the arrival of DEFIANCE’s guest.]

[From the right a long, and I do mean long, stretch, black limousine  rolls up to the curb just outside of the main entrance of the Mitsubishi Electric Halle.]

[Evans steps forth and pulls open the door of the limousine and we are greeted by the presence of the BAWS his-damn-self, Eric Dane, dressed to the nines as usual in a finely crafted silver Armani suit.]

Dane:
Holding down the fort?

Evans: [nodding]
Piece of a cake.

“Is that… Kelly Evans?”

[Dane steps aside, taking his place next to Kelly to help greet the man of the hour.]

[Stepping out of the limousine, a pair of old worn cowboy boots, a pair of blue jeans, and a nice, fresh and crisp button down shirt tucked into the jeans. The face is unmistakable to any true fan of professional wrestling.]

DDK:
IT’S “THE NATURAL” MIKE BELL!

Angus:
Ooh gawd, does Eric hate me? Have I done something to offend him? Just when this place is done mourning the loss of Som Tawyer, now we have to deal with Mike Bell? The Grand Daddy of All Goody Two Shoe wearing Do Gooders?

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[That sound, no not the fans, that OTHER sound is Angus banging his head on the desk.]

[Back to scene at hand.]

[Bell stands tall, and let me tell you folks, the man has aged quite well for someone who has seen and gone through the wars that he has. Stepping forward he shakes hands with Dane and takes a glance over at Kelly, who is not impressed with this revelation and not trying all that hard to hide it. Bell sneers ever so subtly and looks back to Dane.]

[Trust me, it’s old issues, from a time long, long, long ago.]

Bell:
One thing.

[Dane arches a brow.]

Bell:
I, do not, answer to her.

[He says as he points an accusing finger in her direction. Kelly’s jaw drops, offended by such a statement, after all, she is the Queen Bitch of DEFIANCE.]

Angus:
HAAAAAH! I change my mind, I love this guy!

[Kelly leaves in a huff, Dane ignores it and escorts his honored guest into the arena.]

[Back to the action.]

[CUE UP: “Morphine Child” by Savatage. Stockton Pyre, the red-and-blue Gonzo Goliath, makes his way through the curtain. He stands at the top of the ramp and, just before the song goes from low-key to a burst of guitar-led hard music, Pyre claps his hands together twice and, as the burst comes over the sound system, Pyre raises both fists in the air, to a decently positive reception.]

Darren “DQ” Quimbey:
The following match is scheduled for one fall, and it is a TRIPLE THREAT MATCH for the SOUTHERN HERITAGE CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, from Parts Unknown… Standing at Six Feet Six Inches tall and weighing in at Two Hundred and Sixty Six Pounds…STTTTTOOOOCCCCKKKKTOOOONNNN PYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRRRE!

DDK:
Last show, we had an extremely unusual finish to the #1 Contender match between Stockton Pyre and Henry Keyes, which saw referee Carla Ferrari knocked out for the count and throwing out the finish...and here we are now, in Germany, with three men who have danced around, and TOWARDS, each other!

Angus:
Funny how you can go back to the very first stop on our European tour and see how this whole shebang started. Pyre, he’s got a hell of a lariat and can fuggin’ HAWS with anyone. And let’s just say, there’s no chance that a referee getting bonked in the temple is going to ruin this one. We’re getting a DEFINITE WINNER.

DDK:
I think our fans would love nothing more, and even with mixed results, it’s clear we have a blue-chipper here in this rookie Stockton Pyre-

[CUE UP: “Airship Pirate” by Abney Park. Beacons of bright red lights flood the arena as the be-goggled Gearshift Grappler Henry Keyes power-walks, half haunched over, with a manic grin on his face. The European fans are a bit warmer on Keyes.]

Darren “DQ” Quimbey:
Introducing next...from SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA…weighing in at TWO hundred THIRTY seven pounds…HENRYYYYYYYYYY KEEEEEEEEEEEEYES!

DDK:
And ANOTHER BLUE CHIPPER, Henry Keyes!

Angus:
I’ve got a high frame rate camera setup for this guy, because I swear to you, I WILL find out what that Bell Clap is all about!

DDK:
He’s more than that, Ang - he’s shown raw intensity and impressive power all throughout Europe, and it seems like he’s already developed a bit of a following with his bizarro-world tactics.

[Keyes and Pyre lock eyes. They nod to each other as a sign of respect, and Pyre extends his hand. Keyes grasps it Roman-style, but before Pyre can pull him away, Keyes maintains his grip and stares coldly into Pyre’s eyes. They hold the stare before nodding once more, grip released.]

DDK:
What do you think THAT was?

Angus:
Keyes just said “Yeah, we’ve been buddies, but I’m not afraid to shove my crazy bionic elbow down your THROAT for the title”, and I think I LIKE it!

DDK:
Say what you will about these two colorful characters - they mean business, and they’re here to make a real statement in that ring.

[CUE UP: "Enae Volare Mezzo”. A cascade of boos resonate throughout the arena as the Southern Heritage Champion, Curtis Penn, stands firmly at the top of the ramp, belt held high. He seems to bask in the heat-glow his presence is generating.]

Darren “DQ” Quimbey:
And finally, from PENsaCOLA, FLORIDA...weighing in at TWO hundred FIFTEEN pounds, he is the reigning SOUTHERN HERITAGE CHAMPION...CURTIIIIIIIIIIIIIS, PENN!

BOOOOOOOOOO!

Angus:
THIS fucking guy.

DDK:
You’ve never been one to hide your opinion of our Southern Heritage Champio-

Angus:
I hate him.

DDK:
You hate him.

Angus:
Hard.

DDK:
But allow me to play Devil’s Advocate for a moment...he has been ABSURDLY difficult to figure out in that ring ever since he won that championship. It’s like winning the Stars n Bars unlocked some sort of secret powers in Curtis Penn, and he has been nothing short of RUTHLESS in his defenses up to now!

Angus:
…don’t try to cover for that fucker. He’s LONG overdue for some pain. And I’m glad I cornered that sonofabitch with this match.

[Curtis Penn just grins at the two hungry rookies as he nonchalantly hands his title to referee Mark Shields, who is already set up with cigarette lit and in-mouth. Keyes and Pyre strike fighting poses, while Penn just stands, smiling, arms wide. The smile slowly turns to a snarl, then something darkly sinister.]

DDK:
Penn looking to get into the heads of the rookies here?

Angus:
Everyone in that RING knows they’re in for a fight - and it’s a good thing Shields is in there, he can take a hit too.

DINGDING

[Keyes and Pyre, predictably, come flying with all the speed in the universe towards Penn - who merely steps between the middle and top ropes and hops outside, the crowd parting to give a small amount of space. With an angry look on his face, he points at the two of them, shouting ‘YOU TWO FIGHT, YOU IDIOTS, THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE JUST ONE OF YOU.’ Boos rain down and Shields rolls his eyes, pissed that he already has to get to work. Keyes and Pyre look between each other and Penn, weighing the economics of the situation. Both men shrug their shoulders and step between the ropes themselves and charge after Penn, who begins to run around the ring, nearly crashing with a few fans.]

DDK:
Penn trying to slip out early, narrow down the competition, and both rookies are in hot pursuit! Keyes slightly quicker, but Penn slides into the ring - Keyes follows - OOOOH a big running punt to that right arm of Keyes! You may remember he targeted that arm weeks ago! Penn now trying to wrench that arm, but here comes Pyre, CLUBBING blows to Penn’s neck and back and the space has been created. Keyes up, and he’s throwing wild elbows at anyone in his path - one connects with Pyre, ANOTHER CONNECTS WITH PENN! He’s stopped for a moment, time to re-evaluate, and all three men are standing tall in different corners of the ring, the fans rumbling their palms on the mat in anticipation!

Angus:
Mission statements from the start - doing what you have to do to win, versus isolating the champion and using your brain, versus hitting anything and everything in your path. Just let me close my eyes and ignore face/heel dynamics for a minute, because I want to see this shit play OUT.

[More staredowns. Keyes is the least patient and charges towards Penn, connecting with a series of stiff elbow shots to the grill. Backing him into the corner, Keyes Irish Whips him out into an awaiting Stockton Pyre, who connects with a palm strike followed immediately by a release German sequence.]

DDK:
Opening Statement by Stockton Pyre - AND HENRY KEYES CHARGES IN WITH A MASSIVE EUROPEAN UPPERCUT on Pyre! Two men down, and Keyes grabs Penn by his head, locking in a front chancery here! Looking to wear the champion down!

Angus:
I wonder if Henry squeezes hard enough if he can legitimately bust a major artery. Or at least his trachea.

DDK:
Henry doing his best to wear down the champ, but Pyre is up! He’s rubbing his jaw now, looking at the two in the middle, picking, choosing, debating the pros and the cons - BULLHAMMER ELBOW! TO HENRY KEYES! He calls that move The Enlightenment! Keyes is knocked silly, and here’s the cover!

1!

2 - broken up by Curtis Penn, and just LOOK at that rage in Penn’s eyes! He’s got a clinch locked in on Pyre, just like the first time we saw these two face off, and HERE ARE THE KNEES!

Penn:
MY!

KNEES!

WILL!

FUCK!

YOUR!

LIFE!

[Penn’s face is a cranapple hue.]

Penn:
DOMO ARIGATO!

[Penn connects with a roundhouse kick to the jaw of Pyre.]

DDK:
Penn now with the cover on Pyre!

1!

2!

A strong kickout by Pyre, but he looks hurt out there!

Angus:
The man’s gotta get used to getting kicked in the grill eventually, right? Right?

DDK:
Keyes is back up, and he’s winding up - Penn’s ready for him! He’s got him hooked up, and he’s looking for a suplex here!

Angus:
Did...did Keyes scout that??

DDK:
It looks like he did - he’s hung up over the shoulder of Curtis Penn, who just went for an overhead suplex, but Henry’s leather-wrapped arm is wrenched around Penn’s chin and neck! Penn’s face - it’s turning red again, but this time it doesn’t seem intentional…

Angus:
Did he do it? DID HE POP HIS JUGULAR??

DDK:
...Let’s hope not, but either way, it looks like Penn’s strength is fading - he’s lowering Keyes down! That arm’s still wrapped in that facelock-style choke hold, and Henry is just wild-eyed out there!

[Keyes lets out a large belly-laugh before planting Penn in a big DDT, which leads to a kickout cover at two.]

Angus:
FEHHHHK.

DDK:
...journalistic integrity?

Angus:
Not when it comes to Curtis Penn.

[Pyre stirs and drags himself up by the ropes in one corner of the ring, arms draped over the top ropes as he attempts to regain his faculties. Keyes charges in and hits him with a running European Uppercut. Penn has situated himself similarly in the opposite corner of the ring, which Keyes sees - he charges the Penn corner and connects with a second uppercut. Charges Pyre, connects. Charges Penn, connects again. Charges Pyre’s corner again…

...his last charge.]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH

DDK:
Powerslam?? POWERSLAM!

Angus:
You’re damn right that was a power slam, and like a PLAYA IN A STRIP CLUB AT ELEVEN A.M. - all that momentum has come to a GRINDING halt!

DDK:
...

Angus:
You know I’m right. Get back to your gig.

DDK:
Pyre is breathing heavily, looking at the fallen body of sometimes-friend, sometimes-rival Henry Keyes, but wait a minute...his gaze has lifted! It’s centered SQUARELY on the champion!

Penn:
STEP UP, BITCH!

[Pyre charges, looking for his Herculean lariat, which Penn ducks under at the last second. Penn strikes with a pair of sharp kicks to the legs of the massive Pyre. Stockton charges again with his beefy hamhock, only to again get ducked and retorted with pointed feet on his legs. Penn goes for a taunt, pointing to his head and articulating his general geniusness and otherwise more proficient skill at all things relevant to the world of wrestling, which Pyre...no-sells. He is a veritable brick wall of non-emotion. Shields puts his cig out on a turnbuckle. Further Penn-taunts, continued curious no-selling.]

DDK:
Is it possible to get in the head of Stockton Pyre?

[Angus is silent for a few moments, trying to gather his thoughts.]

Angus:
…

DDK:
Nothing?

Angus:
I almost get it? He’s the dispassionate observer? But...this FUCKING GUY. How is he not on FIRE with anger??

DDK:
Nice use of ‘dispassionate’.

Angus:
Don’t tell anyone I’ve been reading books.

[Infuriated and out of patience, Penn charges feet-a-flyin’ towards Pyre, connecting with a brief series of kicks to the torso. He pushes him for an Irish Whip, which gets reversed and sends Penn into the ropes. Pyre connects with a running double ax handle to the chest, which floors Penn. After a quick two count, both men lock up again, Pyre using his power and leverage advantage to connect with an STO. Another two count, another kickout.]

DDK:
Great offense here by Pyre, and great resilience by the SoHer cham-pee-own.

Angus:
...Don’t encourage him.

DDK:
Another lockup between Pyre and Penn here, Pyre with the clear strength advantage here, pushing him back into the ropes - KNEE TO THE GUT by Penn! Another knee! Another - wait, was that low??

Angus:
YES, DQ him Shields!!

DDK:
Apparently the ref’s vision was skewed or maybe we mis-saw it, but I SWEAR Curtis Penn just hid a nut-shot in with those other knees to the stomach! Pyre is REELING here. Penn stalking his opponent now, measuring his next step, figuring out the next body part to strike...THE CHOKE SLEEPER! A classic!

Angus:
YOU’RE SERIOUSLY NOT DEE QUEUE-ING HIM?! God. DAMNIT. Well. I mean, the title would stay. But THIS FUCKING GUY. I’m in a GLASS CASE OF EMOTION.

DDK:
Curtis is just WRENCHING this sleeper here, and Pyre is fading! Here comes the arm test - one drop! Shields lifting the arm aga-wait. WAIT A MINUTE! Henry Keyes is STALKING Curtis Penn, and Penn has NO IDEA HE’S THERE! A second arm drop, and Penn’s one drop away from retaining - HERE COMES HENRY! HE’S LOCKED IN A REAR NAKED CHOKE OF HIS OWN ON CURTIS PENN!

Angus:
...WAT

DDK:
IT’S AN INCEPTION-STYLE SERIES OF SLEEPER HOLDS! Sleep-ception! Penn’s got one locked on Pyre, but Keyes has one locked on Penn!!

Angus:
The tension is KILLING ME.

[The German crowd gets rowdy in this pseudo-Human-Centipede setup of submission holds. Penn breaks his hold of Pyre and reaches for Keyes’ weaker left arm, trying to wrench it off of him. Pyre rolls away, breathing a sigh of relief that his arm wasn’t raised a third time. Keyes keeps his hold, and Penn rolls over, nearly trapping Keyes in a pin before the hold is released at 2.7.]

DDK:
Penn rolls to the outside trying to catch his breath.

[Pyre and Keyes wait for him to re-enter the ring, Keyes taunting him and Pyre just waiting.]

DDK:
Penn is screaming at the two!

[Penn’s face is flush red and he’s pointing the two rookies.]

Penn:
Ya’ll do know that ya’ll don’t have to pin me right! Fucking dolts!

[Keyes steps away from the masked wrestler and eyes him suspiciously.]

Angus:
MIND GAMES! TRICKERY!

DDK:
That’s right Angus, Penn just shot himself over the ropes and takes out both guys with a diving clothesline. Penn adds a new skill set to his arsenal!

Angus:
Yeah, a human battering ram. Too bad those always end up broken in the movies.

[Pyre is the first back up to his feet and lifts Penn’s dead weight up and suplexes him over his head. Penn bounces off of the mat and rushes back into Pyre and he pops his hips and suplexes him again. Frustrated, Penn rushes him again, expecting the clutch of the Pyre he baseball slides underneath him and kicks the big man in the back of the knees and then bulldogs him into the mat.]

DDK:
Keyes was just watching the exchange and charges Penn on his way up, Keyes lowers his shoulders and hits Penn with a massive Shoulder Block.

Angus:
PIN HIM!

[Less than a three count; more than a two count.]

[Keyes hooks Penn to pull him up. Glancing at Pyre to make sure he’s down, he holds a groggy Penn up and...

DDK:
Bell Clap! Did you get it Angus?

Angus:
Yes! Wait, no! What the high fuck is up with sleep mode?!?

[Penn’s bell is rung, and he stumbles back into ANOTHER bell clap!]

DDK:
Angus, you’re missing Curtis Penn getting the clap!

[Angus puts down the camera and guffaws.]

Angus:
Couldn’t happen to a bigger prick.

[As Penn stumbles around he walks back towards the standing Keyes, who front body presses Penn up in the air and SMASHES him in the face on the way down with a European Uppercut.]

DDK:
What an uppercut! Penn might be out!

Angus:
We can only hope.

DDK:
Keyes with the cover!

1...

2...

Foot on the ropes! Penn reached out and at the last second got the foot on the ropes!

[Indeed he did. Mark Shields, in an unusual fit of rules competency, reaches out and taps Keyes on the shoulder, indicating the presence of Penn’s foot on the rope. Keyes huffs as Penn rolls under the bottom rope and tumbles to the ground, the fans splitting as he rolls out and offering him no comfort as he hits the concrete with a thud. Keyes goes to follow, but he sees an issue.]

DDK:
Pyre’s back up. And now he and Keyes are circling each other, looking for an opening. 

Angus:
When friends collide, refs get kicked in the head and everyone becomes a fairy.

[The two men lock up in the center of the ring, both trying to bull each other around in a collar-and-elbow lockup. The bigger Pyre is leading the dance, but Keyes is smartly using his momentum to move the lock-up where he wants. Keyes tries to swing Pyre into the corner, but Pyre ends up brute-forcing him into the corner, where a clean break happens.]

Angus:
See what I mean about this guy? Clean fucking break?!? Are you serious?

[Both men lock up again, and Stockton rolls behind Keyes, taking his left arm with him into a hammerlock. Keyes quickly ducks down and grabs the leg, putting Pyre down on his back, but Pyre shoves off with his free leg. Pyre stays down with the trip, which Keyes hops over. Then Pyre gets back up and drops Keyes with a drop-toe-hold, which he turns quickly into...]

DDK:
Purgatory! Henry Keyes is trapped in Purgatory!

Angus:
I'M trapped in purgatory! Where's MY sympathy?

[Keyes is struggling for a way out. Pyre’s got the hold cinched in deep, but Keyes has an out to reach for the ropes. Slowly Keyes crawls towards the ropes on his elbows, pulling the lock with him.]

DDK:
Keyes is going to have to reach the ropes soon...he reaches out for the ropes, annnnnnndddd.....

Angus:
Pyre's pulling him back!

[Indeed Keyes did miss the ropes with his outstretched arm, as Pyre started to pull Keyes back into the ring. But as he slowly pulls Keyes away from the ropes...]

DDK:
Penn, back from the dead! He’s got Keyes’ extended left arm, and yow! 

Angus:
He’s trying to jerk the bell clap out of existance! DON'T DO IT, I MUST KNOW THE SECRET!

[The sudden burst of power actually breaks the hold and sends Pyre forward, falling on his face. Meanwhile, Penn, having pulled Pyre’s head under the bottom rope and out onto the apron, lashes out with a quick elbow before he hooks up Pyre.]

DDK:
What’s Penn...

[And before DDK can finish that thought, Penn pulls Keyes out so he’s parallel with the floor, back-down, and hanging by both Penn’s grip and his feet on the apron.  And then, just as quickly, the bottom drops out and Penn hits Keyes with a neckbreaker on the floor.]

Angus:
God Damnit, you steamfucker! You gotta break out of that...it’s fucking CURTIS PENN!

DDK:
Hangman’s neckbreaker on the floor by Penn on Keyes, and Keyes is in big trouble here!

[Penn stands up and turns to the crowd, pointing to how smart he is once again.   But his taunting gets met in the back between the shoulder blades by one Stockton Pyre executing a baseball slide into the back of the champ.]

DDK:
Baseball slide!  And the champ goes flying forward into the crowd!

[Indeed he does. Penn falls foward, landing on the floor as the fans scatter. Pyre completes the motion of moving outside the ring as the champ searches for something...anything to give him an edge. 

DDK:
Pyre stalking past a wounded Henry Keyes to come after the champion. 

Angus:
That’s stupid. Pyre could probably finish off Keyes right now.

DDK:
Yeah, but look at Curtis Penn.  He may be down but he’s not out yet.  What’s Curtis got in his hand?

[It’s a cup of lager. As Pyre stalks forward, Curtis takes a mouthful of some of Germany’s finest. Pyre reaches down and picks up Penn, and in that moment, Penn sprays beer right in Stockton Pyre’s face.]

[Which Pyre no-sells, since his mask has eye guards on it.]

Angus:
I always knew Penn was a fucking moron, this just proves it.

[Penn, thinking he’s bought himself a moment, stumbles backwards, taking his eye off Pyre and dropping the cup.  He turns back around, and is met with a THUNDEROUS right cross that causes the champ to tumble backwards on his ass.]

DDK:
And Pyre made him pay with a huge right hand!  The champ could be in big trouble here!

[Pyre picks up Penn and drags him back into the ring. They pass Keyes, who’s still writhing on the ground in pain, as Pyre rolls Penn back under the bottom rope. Rolling back in himself, Pyre stands at full attention as Penn gets to his knees, begging off.]

DDK:
If I were Stockton Pyre, I’d be careful, we know the champ has a plan here.

[Pyre approaches with a cold, methodical stalking after Penn. As Pyre leans forward, Penn tries to jab him in the eye, but Stockton shows lighting quickness and grabs the thumb of Curtis Penn!]

DDK:
Pyre caught the thumb aimed for his eye! 

Angus:
Fucking ow! Look at him twist that cockroach’s thumb!

[Indeed, Pyre has begun to apply pressure to Penn’s thumb, and Penn, who is now screaming in pain, is pulled to his feet by his thumb.]

DDK:
What’s Pyre going to...head butt! He head-butted the champ between the eyes, Penn on spaghetti legs, and the scoop and...Paradise Lost! Penn just got dumped right on his head, and listen to these fans cheer!

Angus:
They hate Penn almost as much as I do! Finish this shithead off!

[Pyre takes a moment to pick himself up, and another moment to look at the cheering crowd. After a couple of seconds, and a quick glance at Henry Keyes, who is still recovering outside the ring, Pyre claps his hands together twice and then twirls his right index finger in the air.]

DDK:
That’s the signal for the Inferno!

Angus:
What are you waiting for, stop signaling and lariat this guy’s head into the fifth row! GIVE THE FANS THEIR SOUVENIR!

[Pyre picks up Penn and hooks him with the belly-to-back arm grab. He pushes off of Penn and swings...]

Angus:
...FUUUU-

[...but Penn ducks! Pyre turns around, and catches ANOTHER low blow, this time a kick, that bends him over and draws big boos from the crowd. Penn quickly locks the bigger Pyre into a crossface chickenwing and heaves him over into a crossface chickenwing suplex!]

DDK:
What strength by Curtis Penn, taking over a man that well-outweighs him.

[Penn wastes no time in locking in the Curtis Clutch once again.]

Angus:
No, no, Jesus bowl-smoking Christ fucking no!

[We can’t see Pyre’s face, but everything about the body language says he’s in terrible pain, and he’s locked in the middle of the ring. On the outside, Henry Keyes is trying to shake the cobwebs out, but he hasn’t seen yet that Penn has the submission hold locked in.]

Angus:
Wake up, Henry! Break up the hold! Oh for fuck’s sake, LOOK IN THE RING! 

[Henry finally turns and sees the predicament Stockton Pyre is in.]

DDK:
Henry Keyes needs to move fast, Pyre has been in this hold a long time!

[Keyes rolls into the ring and gets to his feet.  He dives for the hold....

...but is too late, as Pyre taps out!]

DING DING DING!

BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[Enae Volare Mezzo kicks off as Penn drops the hold when Keyes makes contact with him while diving. Rolling out of the ring and arms raised triumphant, Penn slowly backs away on his knees while Henry Keyes fumes, burning a hole in Penn with his eyes.]

Angus:
FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU....

DDK:
Somehow, some way, Curtis Penn manages to escape AGAIN!

DQ:
The winner of this match, and STTTTTTTIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLL Southern Heritage Champion...CURTIS! PENN!

[Penn is handed the belt by an official while he stumbles to his feet. Snatching the belt from the official, he clutches it to his chest as he stumbles and falls backwards, landing on the rampway. In the ring, Keyes is SEETHING as he stares out at Curtis Penn, who gets off of his ass and starts to make a huge show.]

DDK:
It’s clear that Penn is still rattled from the last flurry of offense Stockton Pyre was able to land on him, but he somehow manages to get away with the Southern Heritage title around his waist.

Angus:
There isn’t enough weed in Europe to kill this low.
 

[The belt is handed to Curtis Penn and a large grin forms with his lips as he watches Henry Keyes and Stockton Pyre walk up the ramp as losers. He motions for a microphone, which is promptly handed to him, he shrugs the Stars and Bars title over his shoulder and watches as Keyes and Pyre walk into the back.]

Penn:
Well, now that is over I have something that I need to get off of my chest.

[He paces the ring, back and forth of a moment and then stops in the same exact spot from which he started.]

Penn:
I’m the VERY best .

[Huge sigh.]

Penn:
Wow, that was a relief, I mean telling the truth is supposed to hurt, but man that was liberating.  Since the Grindhouse tour has started I have beaten Alston for the Southern Heritage Championship. I leveled Chance Von Crank and he left town after heading into the Europe leg of this tour a loser. I kicked Frank Dylan James' ass at his own game. I bitch slapped Henry Keyes and Stockton Pyre just now so that they’d remember their place for a very long time. Then there was Heidi Christenson who I made lose consciousness in the middle of the ring, something that has not been done without a tranquillizer dart or a stun gun in Defiance yet.

[He pauses.]

Penn:
Ya’ll see that when you step into the ring with me, the best, that I’m going to win. I’m going to walk into the ring a champion and I will always walk out of the ring the champion and there’s not a single one in the back who can say otherwise. I’ve proven it time and time again.

[He looks over the crowd and towards the backstage area.]

Penn:
I know there are men and women in the back who’d like to say different and I’m going to give all of you a chance to prove me wrong while we travel in the Great White North of Canada.

[He shrugs.]

Penn:
I know you won’t, but I will at least give you a chance for you to realize that I am the best wrestler on the roster and that I have the largest set of grapefruits on the roster.  You see we move from Germany to Canada, the home of Maple Syrup and free healthcare and I just don’t see a contender for a title shot at the Canada iPPV. So, Sam Turner Jr., Frankie Holiday, and Diego stop being the shy kids in the back of the class and step up to the plate. I’m bored and ya’ll are fresh new faces for my fist to land.
 
[He pats his title, smiles, and then drops the microphone to the mat.]

[Cut.]

[Backstage.]

[The Only Star and The Natural, walking side by side, if you only knew what these two and their many associates have done to each other over the last 15 or so years, you would fully understand how weird this sight is.]

[Never the less.]

[Here they are, walking and talking, peacefully.]

Mike Bell:
Come on now, there can’t be anybody who cares that much about an old dog like me.

Eric Dane:
Would I lie… to you?

[Bell glances at him, Dane shrugs.]

Dane:
Nevermind. Point is, this guy was in high school when we were in our old stomping grounds up in Portland. He’s a real throwback, trained by Ramsey and everything, a real do gooder, it’s actually kind of annoying how much he reminds me of you at times.

Bell:
Still, I don’t see how that means he’d be especially impressed with me?

Dane:
Ten bucks. I guarantee you get a bigger pop from him alone than we got earlier when they showed us arriving on the big screen.

[Reaching the door to Eric’s appointed inner sanctum for the evening, they enter the office space. Cutting to an interior view, we find that Dusty Griffith is seated and waiting.]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Dusty:
Hey Baws, not sure what you need, but…

[Dusty turns and gets up from his seat and is greeted by the sight of one of his biggest idols and for those who remember my roleplays from when I won Summer Games in 2008, is the man who inspired Dusty Griffith’s career in pro wrestling.]

[So all you evil doers out there can thank Mike Bell for that.]

Dusty: [starstruck]
...here I am.

[Dane looks to Bell, Bell looks back, then to Dusty, who’s face goes from calm to OMG I AM SO HAPPY TO BE HERE RIGHT NOW!]

Dusty:
Holy shit, uh… I mean… it’s MIKE BELL?!

[Dusty’s face lights up, literally, it could have replaced the star on the tree in Rockefeller Center and just now, at this very moment, Bell knows he’s about to be down ten bucks.]

Dane:
Yeah, I wanted you two to...

[Bell offers his hand, which Dusty gladly accepts and begins shaking mindlessly, a stupid, markish grin splattered across his face. Dane kind of smirks at the whole scene.]

Dusty: [ramble-babbling]
It’s really MIKE BELL?!.. DO YOU REMEMBER AT BATTLE OF THE BELTS WHEN YOU SIGNED MY DWA TEE SHIRT BEFORE THEY FIRED YOU IN THAT BATTLE ROYAL?! THAT WAS SUCH TOTAL BULLSHIT!

[Bell nods as he can’t help himself from smiling, it is a bit of an ego stroking moment. Dane is still standing there, smirking like the mastermind that he is.]

Bell:
Big football player looking kid, right? Looked much older for your age.

[Somehow this makes the moment all the more special for Dusty. His hero remembers some dumb kid back in the day and so many chair shots ago.]

Dusty: [awkward chuckle]
Whoah… Mike Bell actually remembers… me.

[The Baws looks on, keeping a chuckle to himself.]

Dane:
Yeah, well, you got a match coming up, and me and the old man here have a couple of final eyes to dot and tees to cross on his contract-

Dusty:
THE MIKE BELL IS GOING TO WORK IN DEFIANCE?

[His inner-mark is all out in the open.]

Dane:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway, scram kid, go find Frank and keep him from eating the production staff or whatever it is you do when you’re not suplexing people to death.

[Dusty takes a deep breath and looks at Dane, then at Bell, and his face gets a little bit red as the realization of his outburst hits him. Nodding, he makes his exit.]

Dusty:
Uhm… Ah… Right… right… I’ll go do that.

[Dusty has left the building… err… office, leaving Bell and Dane standing alone as the door shuts behind Griffith. The smirk never leaves Dane’s face, Bell’s smile never fades, he stands back with his arms crossed over his chest. Silence brings a lull for the briefest of moments now that the two legends stand side by side.]

Bell:
So, he’s the real deal, then?

Dane:
I’ve been working with him since he came up. Kid’s got the size, the power, the speed, the science… and he does it for the right reasons.

Bell:
I reckon I’ll have to keep an eye on him then.

Dane:
I’d appreciate that.

[A moment passes.]

Bell:
So Kelly, huh? Really? You didn’t tell me she was gonna be here.

Dane:
Ancient history, my man.

Bell:
You weren’t there. Ty and Stevie were there. Kelly was there. They did awful things to Sherry.

[Eric kind of looks away, kind of covers his mouth.]

Dane: [muffled]
Theymightbeheretoo.

[Bell raises an accusatory eyebrow.]

Dane:
To be fair, it’s mostly just Ty, Stevie can’t be assed. And he’s on the up and up. You have my word, absolute guarantee, ancient history is ancient history. Look, Mike, I’m out of the business of ambushing guys for title shots. Aside from that, I’ve never been in the business of letting personal history affect DEFIANCE. This is what I do now, and you have my word that Kelly is on a leash, and Ty won’t be a problem.

[A pregnant pause.]

Dane:
And I will personally step in, should the need arise.

[Bell takes a breath and then sighs, nodding and mentally agreeing to take Dane at his word. Then reaches down into his pocket and pulls out a wad of cash, which he strips a ten spot from and hands it over to Dane. The BAWS glances at the bill and shrugs.]

Dane:
Nah, it’s alright.

Bell:
A bet’s a bet, Eric.

Dane:
I knew all about Dusty’s hero worship for you, I just wanted to see what would happen.

Bell: [smiling and shaking his head]
Always holding something back, I see.

Dane:
Always. Rivalries die hard, you know?

Bell:
They sure do.

Dane:
Besides, I wasn’t sure if I should be mad at him or jealous of you a minute ago. That kid practically no sold me when we first met. It was the first time I actually started to feel my age, fucking kid.

[Dane shakes his head, his usual smirk adorning his face as Bell slaps him on the back while he chuckles a bit at his old adversaries expense.]

[Back to the desk.]

DDK:
Alright folks, up next, Dusty Griffith gets his shot for some well deserved payback against the Legitimate Businessman Club, who have been hounding him for the last several weeks.

Angus:
It’s the meat-ah-ball versus the meat-uh-head.

DDK:
You’ve already said that.

Angus:
And it’s a good line, so it’s worth repeating. Anyway, what I want to know, is someone behind the curtain pushing the LBC on Mayberry? Because Dentari didn’t own up to anything when Mayberry called him out last week.

DDK:
Good point, partner. In any case, Alceo Dentari, who has lead the LBC’s charge against Griffith, will be the one to answer to a hard charging Wild Bronco.

Angus:
Take it away, Dee Cue!

[The Voice of DEFIANCE, Darren “DQ” Quimbey takes command of the stage when he steps to the center of the ring.]

[Strike up the band.]

Quimbey:
Coming to the ring first, hailing from BROOKLYN, NEW YORK… Representing the LEGITIMATE BUSINESSMEN’S CLUB… He is ALLLLLLCEEEEOOOOOOO DENNNNNNTARRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[The voice of legendary Rat Pack member Dean Martin beckons the first half of this grudge match.]

♫ How lucky can one guy be? ♫
♫ I kissed her and she kissed me ♫
♫ Like a fella once said ♫
♫ "Ain't that a kick in the head?" ♫

[Stepping out from behind the curtain and out on to the stage, the pint sized, Italian pitbull that is Alceo Dentari emerges to a tsunami of jeers from the audience.]

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

♫ The room was completely black ♫
♫ I hugged her and she hugged back ♫
♫ Like the sailor said, quote ♫
♫ "Ain't that a hole in the boat" ♫

DDK:
I’d have thought being of Italian heritage would endear Dentari to the European fans slightly, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

Angus:
Being a greasy little dick translates into any language, Keebs.

[As Dentari takes a few steps forward before being joined by his partners in crime, Tony Two Hands Di Luca and Big Vinny Rinaldi.]

♫ My head keeps... spinning ♫
♫ I go to sleep and keep... grinning ♫
♫ If this is just the be...ginning ♫
♫ My life's gonna be ♫
♫ Beeee-youtiful ♫

[The trio of made men, the former DEFIANCE World Trios Tag Team Champion, lead by their ace, Alceo Dentari make their way down to the ring.]

♫ I've got sunshine enough to spread ♫
♫ It's like the fella said ♫
♫ Tell me quick ain't love like a kick in the head ♫

[Getting to the ring, Dentari removes his suit jacket and hands it to Di Luca as he begins his final preparations for the battle ahead.]

[The lights dim as the drum beat begins, which is accompanied by the lights flashing along with the fans stomping their feet in unison to the music’s cadance.]

Quimbey:
Annnnnnnd now… Coming to the ring, hailing from BOISE, IDAHO… He stands at a height SIX FOOT THREE INCHES tall and weighs in at TWO HUNDRED AND NINETY pounds… This is the WILD BRONCO… DUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTY GRRRRRRRRRRRRIFFITH!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

♫ Hey, hey, hey, hey, YEAH! ♫
♫ Hey, hey, hey, hey, YEAH! ♫
♫ Hey, hey, hey, hey, YEAH! ♫
♫ Hey, hey, hey, hey, YEAH! ♫

[The voice of Gene Simmons on lead vocals of KISS’ “I Love It Loud” call forth the arrival of Dusty Griffith to another roar of cheers as the song courses through the airwaves while the lighting begins to swirl around the arena.]

♫ Stand up, you don't have to be afraid ♫
♫ Get down, love is like a hurricane ♫
♫ Street boy, no I never could be tamed, better believe it ♫

[Stepping out on to the stage, Dusty Griffith is accompanied by his friend, the big ol’ country boy from Harlan, Kentucky, the Rednek Rekker himself, Sam Turner Jr.]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

♫ Guilty till I'm proven innocent ♫
♫ Whiplash, heavy metal accident ♫
♫ Rock on, I wanna be the president, 'cos ♫

[A couple steps further, Dusty pauses a moment as he scans the crowd until his eyes lock on to the ring where his target awaits him. Pulling his hoodie off, he tosses it aside, leaving it on the staging area before rushing towards the ring.]

♫ I love it loud, I wanna hear it loud, right between the eyes ♫
♫ Loud, I wanna hear it loud, I don't want to compromise ♫

[Almost like liquid… angry, wrestling liquid, Dusty flows through the ropes and into the ring. Any thought Dentari et al might have entertained about jumping him flew out of the window as he fixed Alceo with an icy stare. By the time Sam Turner Jr. had entered the ring The LBC had all exited and dropped to the outside where they huddled, using the ringpost for cover.]

♫ Turn it up, hungry for the medicine ♫
♫ Two fisted to the very end ♫
♫ No more treated like aliens, we're not gonna take it 'cos ♫

[Not fearing any shit, Dusty heads over to the ring post and climbs the turnbuckles. He challenges Dentari to get back in the ring, but Alceo ignores him and continues to converse with his associates.]

♫ I love it loud, I wanna hear it loud, right between the eyes ♫
♫ Loud, I wanna hear it loud, I don't want to compromise ♫

[Dusty hops down from the turnbuckle and heads back across the ring to Sam Turner Jr. Alceo meanwhile spots this and slides into the ring. As Sam wishes Dusty luck Dentari charges in from behind. He jumps, looking for a knee to the back of Griffith, but Dusty side steps and leaves Dentari with nothing to collide with but the turnbuckle!]

Ding Ding Ding!

[Clutching at his knee Dentari turns around it a hard right hand from Griffith that knocks the taste out of his mouth and his ass down to the ground. Dusty towers over Dentari… not that he wasn’t doing it before, and rains down rights to the side of the head until Alceo can finally escape out of the ring. Discombobulated from the first strike Dentari turns and walks right into Sam Turner Jr.]

DDK:
Wrong Way, Alceo!

Angus:
Mayberry’s a seasoned veteran, I should know, I’ve seen everything this guy’s done this side of the Pacific.

DDK:
You know we’re in Europe, right?

Angus:
This side of the Pacific and the other side of the Atlantic, otherwise know as ‘MERICA, KAY! Point is, he’s not gonna get caught by a sneak attack before the bell.

[Dentari backs away from Sam and right into Dusty. Without turning around he swallows hard before trying to escape back into the ring. Dusty grabs him by the shirt collar though and pulls him back as the fans erupt.]

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

DDK:
That’s what I call a rock and a hard place!

Angus:
Mayberry could at least let Alceo back into the ring, you know, where the match is supposed to be!

[The fans part as Di Luca and Rinaldi round the ring and charge at Dusty. Griffith releases Dentari, who scampers into the ring, and turns to the oncoming associates. He lands a right hand to Di Luca and knocks him down to the mat before Sam Turns Jr. runs past and collides with Big Vinny!]

DDK:
THAT is what happens when an immovable object meets an unstoppable force!

Angus:
I’m getting sick of your god damned clichés already.

[Both Sam and Big Vinny take a step back from the force of Sam’s shoulder block, but neither go down. They simply stare at each other until Carla Ferrari steps out onto the apron and orders them to head back to their own corners. Di Luca gets to his feet and proceeds to argue with  Dusty meanwhile slides into the ring, where he gets many of Dentari’s fingers raked across his face. Alceo drops to his knees and brings down forearm after forearm to the shoulders and neck of Griffith, but Dusty powers through them and lifts Dentari as he stands up!]

DDK:
And Griffith throws Dentari away like he’s nothing!

Angus:
Dentari lands on his feet though, and he’s coming right back at Mayberry!

[Alceo charges back at Dusty and shoots for a double leg, but Dusty doesn’t go down. He does get pushed back though, and right into Carla Ferrari knocking her off the apron… and right into Sam Turner Jr.’s arms!]

DDK:
It’s a good thing Sam was still there.

[Sam lifts Carla and puts her back on the apron before taking an elbow smash to the back of the head from Tony Di Luca!]

DDK:
What a cheap shot!

[With their work done Di Luca and Rinaldi retreat to their corner. Carla admonishes them on their way, but it has no effect other than to distract her from what’s going on in the ring. Griffith tossed Dentari away after colliding with Carla and witnessed the elbow smash, so he’s through the ropes checking on Sam. Dentari takes full advantage of this and jumps on Dusty’s back, dropping him across the middle rope. Alceo then stands on Griffith’s back and grabs hold of the top rope, stretching out as much as he can to put even more pressure on the throat of Dusty Griffith.]

DDK:
Dentari breaks the choke before 5 there, but I think the damage was already done before Carla even started counting.

Angus:
Hey, Carla shouldn’t let herself get distracted by what’s going on at ringside.

DDK:
That’s easier said than done with Di Luca and Rinaldi out there.

[Dentari grips hold of the middle rope and bounces Griffith off of it and into the ring. He then lashes out with a boot at the face of Sam Turner Jr. which STJ avoids, but serves its purpose by angering the Redneck Reker. Dentari heads over to Dusty on the floor and drops to his knees where he wraps his hands around Griffith’s throat!]

DDK:
Come on! That’s some blatant cheating right there!

Angus:
Carla’s right there with the count though… for a change.

[Dentari breaks the choke at 4 and gets to his feet.]

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

DDK:
Our fans in Germany are certainly letting Dentari know how they feel about his underhanded tactics.

Angus:
He’s operating within the rules… ish…

[With a smug grin on his face Dentari heads over to his LBC associates and whispers something in Di Luca’s ear. Dentari turns his attention back to Dusty, who has managed to get to all fours, but is still gasping for air.]

DDK:
Dentari’s taking his time. That’s not like him at all.

Angus:
He’s in control. He doesn’t need to rush.

[Closing in on Griffith Dentari pie faces him a couple of times as Dusty rises up to his knees… and Dusty explodes up with a spinebuster that drives Dentari into the mat!]

DDK:
You sure about that, Angus?

[Griffith grabs Alceo by the hand and pull him up with one arm, taking him back down with a short-arm clothesline. Griffith keeps hold of the arm and pulls him up again, this time Dusty scoop slams Dentari.]

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

DDK:
The fans are all behind Dusty!

Angus:
That’s not all, look at Di Luca!

[Tony Di Luca yells at Griffith, who turns around to see him hop up onto the apron. Rinaldi meanwhile uses the distraction to slide into the ring and grabs a hold of Dentari’s arm to drag him to the outside. Neither Carla nor Griffith notice this, but Sam Turner Jr. does, and he runs around the ring to stop the save with a running knee lift. The knee winds Big Vinny and allows Sam to land a few stiff forearm strikes that knock Big Vinny back.]

DDK:
There’s way too much for Carla to keep track of here.

Angus:
Too much to keep track of? She’s a referee that’s her job!

[Sam tries to lift Big Vinny, but Vinny fights back with an axehandle before throwing Sam face first into the ring post.]

DDK:
I think that moved the ring!

[The knock was definitely felt in the ring as Carla and Dusty both turn around and finally spot the brawl between Sam and Vinny. Carla heads over to try and break that up leaving Di Luca to step in the ring and hook Dusty up from behind with-]

DDK:
SHALLOW GRAVE! DI LUCA HITS SHALLOW GRAVE!

[Tony then heads over to check on Dentari, who slaps him lightly on the cheek and tells him ‘he’s got this’. Di Luca then slips out of the ring and rushes around to the brawl between STJ and Big Vinny, where he nails STJ with a clothesline to the back of the head!]

DDK:
You’re awfully quiet, Angus.

Angus:
I’m just in disbelief at how shockingly Carla is handling this…

[Dentari drops into a relatively nonchalant cover on Griffith and yells at Carla to count the fall. Finally she turns around and, although confused by how Griffith and Dentari got to the point they are, counts the fall!]

[ONE!]

[TWO!!]

[TH-RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH]

DDK:
Dusty kicks out at two!

Angus:
Who the fuck thought having Carla Fucking Ferrari officiate this match would be a good idea? Seriously, did nobody in the back think that Dentari and Griffith would maybe want to rip each others throats out?

[On the outside, Vinny and Tony roll Sam Turner into the ring, where Dentari starts to rain down with kicks to the back.]

Angus:
Well, Keebs, here we go again.

DDK:
Looks like it, partner!

[Having rolled away with Dentari’s focus switching to Sam Turner, Dusty Griffith got to his feet, but as he went to make a move on Dentari, he was met by Rinaldi who crashed into him as Di Luca came in and blindsided him with an elbow shot to the side of the skull.]

DDK:
Once again the LBC are turning one of Dusty Griffith’s matches into a gang style beating.

[Throughout the arena the lights flicker.]

Angus:
The hell? Is someone actually trying to troll us on live television?

[Dentari and company pay no mind to the lighting situation as they continue to kick and stomp on Griffith and Turner, both of whom try covering up the best that they can.]

[The lights begin to dim, and a light humming sound is heard as the lights further and a very chilling breeze totally engulfs the arena.]

Angus:
Jay-zuss Krispy Kreme, what in the HALE is going on?

[Almost immediately fog begins to roll in and the entire entrance ramp is completely engulfed. It is so thick that you can cut through it with a knife.]

DDK:
I haven’t a clue, partner, but something is ringing nostalgic about all of this...

[Not as loud as the humming sound but you can hear what sounds to be thunder off in a distance and lightning is seen through the fog at the roof of the arena.]

[You then hear a voice]

v/o:
Passion is what drives me now...

[The thunder gets a little louder and just when you least expect it...]

BONG!

BONG!

BONG!

[It is the erie ringing of a bell that is being heard.]

BONG!

BONG!

[Then you hear the voice again]

v/o:
For whom the bell tolls.

BOOM!

BOOM!

ZIP!

ZIP!

[Loud explosions and pyro begin shooting all through the arena to the point that enough static electricity is generated to make the hair on the back of your neck stand up.]

Angus:
Now wait just a damn minute…

DDK:
I know this song… could it be?

[Then "Sirius" by the Alan Parson's Project begins to play and the fans begin to cheer as they can see someone running through the fog and down the entrance ramp.]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[The cheers get even louder when they see the godfather of all babyface heroes, "The Natural" Mike Bell, who charges down the ramp towards the ring with a chair in hand.]

DDK:
The Legend… The Natural… MIKE BELL IS HERE!

Angus:
This could be very interesting, Keebs…

DDK:
Yes it could, you have the prototype of the heroic icons in Mike Bell and you have the new generation of heroes in Dusty Griffith and Sam Turner Jr.

Angus:
Nah, I mean, how is Mayberry going to wrestle if he’s tripping all over his tongue after freaking out like a girl at a Justin Bieber concert?

[Mike Bell hits the ring with a fury, swinging away with the chair and clearing the ring of the LBC. Once the rats in Italian suits have abandoned ship, Bell turns his attention to a stunned Dusty Griffith and Sam Turner Jr. who look at the Natch with a little confusion until it dawns on them that he’s just cleared the ring.]

DDK:
Quite the turn of events, but now what? Is Dentari going to be disqualified or what?

Angus:
I’unno, but ol’ DQ seems to be getting something on the Batphone.

[Out on the floor, Darren Quimbey puts a hand to his ear, covering the earpiece so that he can hear the instructions being given over the noise of the raucous crowd. Receiving his orders, Quimbey rises to his feet, his trusty mic in hand.]

Quimbey:
Ladies and Gentlemen… I have just been told that this match is now a TRIOS MATCH pitting the Legitimate Businessmen Club versus Dusty Griffith, Sam Turner Jr. and THE NATURAL! MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE BELLLLLLLLLLL!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[Dentari and company huff and puff over this recent development as they shout back into the ring at their new opponents and at Quimbey for delivering the news, but they opt to not kill the messenger. Dusty and Sam however welcome the chance at a fair fight along side of one pro wrestling’s greatest heroes and eagerly call for the LBC join them in the ring. Carla Ferrari orders for the match to be restarted, pointing to the LBC and telling them to get to their corner. Meanwhile, Dusty and Sam shake hands with Bell before big ol’ Sam says he wants to start and points out Dentari’s wild eyed partner in crime, Tony Two Hands.]

DING! DING! DING!

DDK:
And here we go… again.

Angus:
Right, now lets see if Ferrari can handle six dudes at one time after being unable to handle two of them five minutes ago.

DDK:
I… Nevermind. Definitely not going there.

Angus:
C’mon Keebs, you know you wanna…

DDK:
Absolutely not.

Angus:
Fine, HIYO!!

[Not needing any further invitation, Di Luca rushes across the ring while Turner’s back was turned and begins wailing away on the big ol’ boy from Kentucky. Hammering away, Di Luca traps Turner up against the ropes closer to the LBC’s side of the ring. Di Luca whips Turner across the ring and swings for the fences with a clothesline, but Turner ducks and hits the ropes again before barreling into Di Luca with a standing shoulder block that sends Di Luca tumbling back against the ropes, which gets a round of cheers from the audience.]

DDK:
Sam Turner Jr. the Human Wrecking Ball, ladies and gentlemen.

Angus:
HE CAME IN LIKE A WRRREEEECCKKKKINNNNG BAAALLLLL!

DDK:
Really?

Angus:
Sorry.

[Di Luca closes in and the two lockup, which predictably doesn’t go so well for Dentari’s right hand man, as he gets heaved with a mighty push off from Turner. Rolling to his feet, Di Luca looks back at Turner, his face turning a slight shade of red in frustration. He marches right at Turner and they lockup again and again, Turner shoves him off, getting another round of cheers. Di Luca, not to be deterred, tries once again, but this time buries a knee into Turner’s midsection.]

DDK:
Practice makes perfect.

Angus:
Tony might want to get someone else to be his practice dummy, Turner’s got the dummy part down, but nobody wants that big ginger redneck tossing them around.

[Tony takes a headlock and really sinks it in, wrenching down with it as Turner looks for an escape. Trying to shove him off, Di Luca breaks the hold and hammers the back Turner’s head with an elbow and then reapplies the headlock. Grinding on it again, Turner continues to search for a way to free himself, eventually settling on throwing a handful of elbows into Di Luca’s side before he’s able to shove him off, sending him towards the ropes. As Di Luca rebounds back towards Turner, the Rednek Rekker ducks a clothesline and then catches Di Luca on another rebound, this time hoisting him up with a military press.]

DDK:
Quite the show of strength there, Di Luca may not be as big as Big Vinny, but holding up 245 pounds is a chore in it’s own right.

Angus:
I’m telling ya, Keebs, retard country boy strength, it’s a thing.

[Sam continues to hold Tony up, the crowd oohing aahing at the display and then cheering when he deposits Tony Two Hands on the mat with a big slam and then drops on top of him for the cover.]

ONE!

TWO!

KICKOUT!

[Turner gets up and looks to tag, but first he grabs Di Luca and pulls him closer to his corner before tagging in Dusty Griffith, which gets a strong cheer from the crowd.]

DDK:
Some dummy, huh? Pulling Di Luca to his own corner, seems pretty smart to me.

Angus:
Heh, yeah, alright. The guy shows some intelligence one time and suddenly he’s a… uh… smart guy… thing… yeah.

DDK:
Wow, Angus. That was a nice point you almost made there.

[Pulling Tony up, Dusty immediately takes him over with a backdrop suplex and attempts a cover.]

ONE!

TW-KICKOUT!

[Dragging him up, Dusty grabs him and scores with another backdrop suplex, this time holding on to it for the pinfall attempt.]

ONE!

TWWWWO!

KICKOUT!

[Pulling him up again, Dusty grabs a headlock and pulls him over to the nearest corner where he proceeds to light him up with some seriously stiff chops.]

KEEERRRAAACK!

[The first one brings Tony to life with the sudden stinging sensation.]

DDK:
If he wasn’t awake before, he is now.

Angus:
Better than coffee, them chops.

KEEERRRAAACK!

KEEERRRAAACK!

[After a few more stinging shots, Tony dons a warface and roars back at Dusty, hitting him with a wild flurry of punches that start backing Dusty up. Grabbing him by the wrist, Tony whips Dusty back into the corner and hits a charging knee to the gut and then lays in a few chops of his own.]

KEEERRRAAACK!

KEEERRRAAACK!

KEEERRRAAACK!

DDK:
And now Tony’s got Dusty reeling here!

Angus:
Guys a psycho, but he’s got guts, I like guts.

[Feeling the burn, Dusty comes too and lashes Tony with some more chops of his own, but Tony drives another knee into his midsection rather than try to stand toe to toe in a chopfest with Griffith. Trying to whip him across the ring, Di Luca gets reversed and thrown by a Griffith with an overhead belly to belly suplex that sends him crashing into the center of the ring.]

Angus:
He just tossed him like a sack of potatoes, jay-zuss. Is Mayberry on horse roids or something?

DDK:
Somehow, I highly doubt it.

[Opting not to go for another pin, Dusty pulls Tony up and takes a shot to the gut as Tony headbutts him right in the breadbasket, and then a punch another, and another, and another with each blow getting sharper until Griffith backs off. Now getting himself up, Di Luca shoves Griffith and points in the direction of his corner, specifically in the direction of “The Natural”.]

Angus:
Is he calling out Mike Bell?

[Dusty looks back to his corner and nods his head back at Di Luca, Mike Bell smiles and nods as he reaches out for the tag.]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

DDK:
I would say so and it looks like the man himself would be honored to accept his challenge.

[Dusty backs away towards his corner and then tags in Bell, who gets another big pop from the crowd.]

Angus:
Time to see if the old man’s still got it.

DDK:
Always the pessimist.

Angus:
It hasn’t failed me so far, why stop now?

[Stepping through the ropes, Tony looks back at the legend, who stares back in the wild eyes of the man who “requested” him to make the tag. The two circled and met with a lockup where they pushed, pulled and shoved as they jockeyed for position and dominance. Bell took control and backed Tony into a nearby corner.]

DDK:
Carla Ferrari looking for a clean break here.

Angus:
Somehow she’s holding it together.

DDK:
Well, this one is far from over.

Angus:
Oh yeah, still plenty of time to drive this one into a ditch.

[Bell obliges the referees command, slowly backing away, but Di Luca responds with a cheap shot, punching Bell in the face and then rushing at him. Wildly brawling, Tony backs Bell up against the ropes and continues swinging away with hockey punches. Grabbing the Natural by the wrist, he whips Bell only for him to get reversed and sent to the ropes. Bell ducks and sends Tony up and over with a back body drop, Tony bounces up from the impact and Bell helps him up before whipping him to the ropes again and delivers a clothesline that turns Di Luca inside out.]

DDK:
Bell with the cover…

ONE!

TWO!

THR-NO-KICKOUT!

[Bell drags Tony up and then snaps him back down with a textbook suplex, holds and brings him up and takes him over with a second snap suplex and then does it again once more, which he floats over with and goes for the cover.]

ONE!

TWO!

THRE-NO-KICKOUT!

[Feeling the rush of momentum and the energy of the crowd, Bell rises up and gives the fans a salute, earning him another big pop of cheers. Picking Di Luca up, Bell pushed him up against the ropes and then shot him across the ring.]

*SLAP!*

DDK:
Vinny made the tag there…

[Di Luca ducks a clothesline and goes to hit the ropes, Bell follows suit, but Dentari reaches out hits Bell with a slap upside the head. The momentary distraction was all he needed for Bell to turn around and rush at Dentari only to run right into Big Vinny.]

Angus:
FAT. HOLE. SLAM!!

[Tony rushed over and began stomping away, which causes Dusty and Sam to get involved, only for Carla Ferrari to block them, though Dusty and Sam protest. With the ref distracted, Vinny and Tony put Bell in their corner where Dentari took advantage, choking Bell while Vinny and Tony double teamed him with kicks and punches.]

DDK:
Come one, Bell is being assaulted three on one!

Angus:
Yeah, I think we’re about to hit a ditch soon.

[Dusty and Sam return to the apron and before Ferrari can catch them in the act, Tony got out of the ring and Vinny and tagged out to Dentari. The pint sized mafioso turns to Griffith and taunts him before turning his attention to Bell, who is slumped against the corner. Taking aim, Dentari starts firing a series of right jabs to the chin and jaw until Ferrari gets between him and Bell, who slumps down further, dropping to the mat in a seated position. With the refs back turned again, Tony Two Hands drops down and awkwardly tries to choke Bell, breaking before Ferrari turns, in spite of the fact that Dusty and Sam both were hollering about what was going down.]

DDK:
The former World Trios Tag Champions showing their experience as a team here.

Angus:
Experience? They’re pretty much cheating.

DDK:
Yeah, well, I may not condone it, but they know how to play the team game as well as anyone else in DEFIANCE.

[Dentari returns to the business at hand and begins stomping the proverbial mudhole into Mike Bell’s chest and then jamming his foot against his throat. Ferrari warns him once, then begins a five count, to which Dentari just stares with a sadistic gleem in his eye as he continues to choke the life out of Bell.]

DDK:
Dentari starring Ferrari down.

Angus:
Actually, I think she’s taller than him, so he’s actually starring her up.

[Dentari breaks just before Ferrari finished her count, but then refused to be pulled away as he began boot scraping Bell, until he tired of that, shot himself off the ropes and delivered a hellacious knee to the head. Tagging out, Tony Two Hands gets back into the ring and makes a beeline over to Dusty and Sam’s corner and waylays both of them. Rushing back to his side of the ring, Ferrari jumps in the way of Dusty, who tried to get into the ring after being sucked punched by Di Luca. Once again, the LBC dove back into their bag of tricks as the three collectively choked, punched and kicked their victim.]

Angus:
Mayberry, you idiot, you’re doing more harm than good.

DDK:
Not exactly how I would have put it.

Angus:
And that’s why I’m here, Keebs, to tell the unsweetened truth.

[Ferrari turns around and yet again, not soon enough to catch the LBC in the act of their criminal mischief. Di Luca pulls Bell out of the corner and drops him on his head with a pulling piledriver, taunting Griffith and Turner before executing the move and going for the cover.]

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

NO!

DDK:
Dusty with the desperate save. Another second later and this match is over.

[Indeed, Dusty shot into the ring and hit Di Luca over the back with a diving double axe smash to break the count.]

Angus:
Yeah and he’s getting Bell killed in there, because he keeps turning Ferrari’s attention away from her job so she can babysit him and the redneck ginger.

[Di Luca laughs a sinister laugh at Dusty, who is being pushed back to his corner by referee Carla Ferrari. Di Luca pulls Bell back to the LBC’s corner and tags out to the biggest man in the match, Vincent “Big Vinny” Rinaldi. Lifting Bell up, Rinaldi scoop slams him and then drops an elbow where he stays on top of Bell for the cover.]

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

NO!

DDK:
MIKE BELL KICKS OUT! He’s still alive in this match!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Angus:
Not if Big Vinny has anything to say about it.

[Getting up, Vinny lines up his shot and drops another elbow, but this time Bell rolls out of the way, getting a rush of cheers from the crowd. Somehow Bell has the presence of mind to try and crawl to his corner, but is halted by Rinaldi managed to lift his girth off of the canvas quick enough to stop him by reaching down and pulling him back with a firm grip around his ankle. Lifting him up, Bell suddenly comes to life and fires away with punches and ducks a wild swing from Vinny, but when he shoots himself off the ropes he gets caught again...]

Angus:
FAAAAAAAAAAT HOOOOOOOOOOOLE SLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAMMMMM!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE?

NOOOOOOOOOO!

[This time Sam Turner jumps in to make the save, but Turner doesn’t waste any time, simply breaks up the count with a big boot to the head and then quickly gets back out on the apron where he and Dusty start to get the crowd rallied behind their partner. Bell tries again to crawl towards his corner, but again, Rinaldi intervenes as he lumbers over, kicks Bell over on to his back and sets his enormous foot right down on Bell’s chest, which causes Bell to gasp out howls of pain as the big man puts more and more of his weight down on him. All the while, Rinaldi looks back at Dusty and Sam, completely stone faced, but clearly enjoying the suffering of his victim.]

DDK:
I don’t know how much longer Bell can withstand this sort of punishment.

Angus:
So much for the return of Mayberry’s boyhood hero, heh.

[Ferrari began another count, which Vinny broke away at “3” and then bounced himself off of the ropes before leaving his feet as he looked to score with a big fat man splash.]

CRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

DDK:
BELL MOVED!

Angus:
Heeeey! You, you fat bastard, we still have like two matches to go, don’t go breaking the ring with your belly flops!

[As Vinny rolls around on the mat, clutching… stuff in the general vicinity of where his midsection is, Mike Bell uses the opportunity to once again start crawling towards the safety of his corner where Dusty and Sam eagerly await receiving the tag. Sensing he was getting to close, Di Luca rushed into the ring, past his partner who was only just beginning to get back to his feet, but it was too late as just when he was about to reach him, Bell dug deep, rose up just enough to allow himself to make the diving tag...]

DDK:
DUSTY GRIFFITH GETS THE TAG!

[Dusty quickly meets Tony, hitting him with a clothesline, Tony popping back up after clothesline only to keep getting put back down with another and another, until Dusty clotheslined him over the top rope and out of the ring. Tony attempted to dive back into the fight, but was met by Sam, who began brawling with him out on the floor. Griffith turned his attention to Vinny, knocking him over with a diving shoulder tackle. Getting up, Griffith gets blindsided by Dentari, who attacks with punches and kicks until Mike Bell intervened, tackling Dentari and causing both of them to tumble through the ropes and out on to the floor.]

Angus:
Clusterfuckaree going on now, Keebs, told you she’d drive this one into the ditch!

[Out on the floor, Sam and Tony continue to brawl, now through mobs of fans who have gathered around. Elsewhere, Bell chases Dentari around, looking to get a little payback for the number he and his crew were doing on him only a few minutes ago. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Dusty and Vinny stand toe to toe in the ring trading blows until Dusty ducks a particularly wild swing, muscles up and BODYSLAMS Big Vinny Rinaldi to a huge explosion of cheers.]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[Looking out at the crowd, Dusty raises his arms and clasps his hands together before making the motion that he’s going for the powerbomb.]

Angus:
You have got to be kidding me, there’s no way!

DDK:
A bodyslam is one thing, but… can he even gets his arms Vinny’s body to do it?

Angus:
I’unno, Keebs, but we’re about to find out.

[Pulling Rinaldi up, Griffith stuffs his head between his legs and sure enough, he can only just barely make his fingers touch, but he tries to lift anyway. Rinaldi answers back by lurching his upper half back to an upright position, tossing Dusty with a back body drop, but Dusty holds on and tries to rock the big man back into a sunset flip pin. Rinaldi looks down and then kicks his legs out, but that momentary look was all the signal Dusty needed to know to get out of the way and let Vinny compress his spine as he dropped his entire weight down on his ass as he hit the canvas.]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

DDK:
Good grief, the damage he must have just done to his spine.

Angus:
His spine? Who cares about his spine! His big fat ass is about to murder our ring!

[On the outside of the ring Sam Turner Jr. battles Di Luca further and further out into the crowd. The two trade blows to a seesaw reaction from the fans around them. Dentari meanwhile ducks and dives in and out of tightly packed fans making sure to keep well out of Mike Bell’s line of sight.]

DDK:
Dentari’s so small  he’s pretty much disappeared amongst the fans. I can barely see him, and we’re on this elevated platform!

Angus:
I heard he was pegged as a body double for the film Antman. They needed someone to run around those model sets and didn’t want to CGI it...

[Back inside the ring Dusty gets to his feet and measure his shot while Vinny struggles to get to his. Dusty charges and nails Rinaldi with a Rushing Elbow smash to the side of his head. Big Vinny doesn’t go down, but he sure is wobbly after it, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by Dentari, who forgets about Bell and hurries to the entrance ramp. Dentari hops up onto the walkway and looks eyes with Griffith, who challenges Dentari to comes to the ring.]

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

DDK:
These fans want to see Griffith and Dentari get it awn!

Angus:
Alceo looks a bit hesitant…

[Mike Bell hops up onto the walkway as well, but Dusty yells at him to leave Dentari alone. Bell looks disappointed, but he obliges and leaves a path to the ring wide open… but Alceo starts backing up to the curtain.]

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

DDK:
A bit hesitant? He’s walking away.

[Dusty leans on the ropes and yells at Dentari to come back, but he doesn’t. He just keeps on backing away until-]

Angus:
Watch out for Rinaldi!

[Big Vinny regains enough of his faculties to charge at Dusty, but a warning from Mike Bell gives Dusty enough of a heads up to turn and duck a clothesline attempt. Dusty slips behind Rinaldi and grabs as much of a waist as he can…]

Angus:
No way…

DDK:
But how, he can’t even lock his hands!

[Dusty digs down deep, crouching down to lower his base so as to put as much lift as he possibly can and then pops his hips…]

[Flash bulbs popping all over the place.]

[At the top of the ramp Dentari’s jaw drops in disbelief. On the apron Mike Bell lets out a huge cheer. And within the crowd Sam and Tony look on, absolutely stunned by what they see.]

Angus:
WHOOAAH FAT MAN GERRRRRMMMMMAN SUUUUUUPPPPLLLLLLEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

DDK:
Exactly what my partner just said!

[Dusty tries for a bridge, an ugly one, but somehow manages to hold it up.]

ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNE!

[Tony tries to make his way back to the ring, but Sam grabs hold of him and holds him back.]

TWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWO!

[Mike Bell prepares to stop Dentari, but he doesn’t need to. Alceo’s almost through the curtain already.]

THHHHHRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

DING! DING! DING!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Quimbey:
And here are your winners… DUSTY GRRRRIFFITH… SAM TURNER JUUUNIOOR… annnnnnnd… MIIIIIKE BEELLLLLLLLLLLLL!

[Griffith watches as Dentari disappears behind the curtain, a look of disappointment on his face as he exits the ring and power walks back up the ramp with Mike Bell and Sam Turner following.]

Angus:
Jay-zuss, mister grumpy pants isn’t happy, who knew that was coming?

DDK:
I don’t know, Angus, you would think Dusty was looking forward to fighting Dentari, but due to circumstances beyond his control, he barely got his hands on the man.

Angus:
Call the fuckin’ Waaahmbulance then, Mayberry got the win, he should be happy with that.

[Backstage]

[Sam Turner Jr.]

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Mike Bell.]

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Dusty Griffith.]

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[Sam and Mike are smiling, joking and laughing over something, but that happiness doesn’t extend to Dusty Griffith. He’s just sat there untying the tape from his wrists with a scowl on his face.]

Mike Bell:
Or how about when you gave… what’s his name? Di Luca? When you gave him that military press!?

Sam Turner Jr.:
I can’t b’lieve you kicked outta that elbow. Vinny must’a put all his weight behind it.

Mike Bell:
Please, that doesn’t compare to the German Suplex heard around the world.

[Bell claps (No, Henry Keyes isn’t involved in this.) Dusty on the shoulders.]

Mike Bell:
That was some feat of strength.

[Still Dusty doesn’t respond. He just rips the tape from his forearms and discards it to the locker room floor.]

Sam Turner Jr.:
Dusty, you OK?

Dusty Griffith:
It should have been him.

[Sam and Mike share a look of confusion before Sam simply has to ask.]

Sam Turner Jr.:
Shoulda been who?

[Dusty rises from his chair and heads for the door of the locker room, only uttering one word as he goes through and into the hall.]

Dusty Griffith:
Dentari.

[Outside of the locker room Dusty heads down the hallway, ignoring congratulatory fist bumps and high fives all the way until he reaches a door marked ‘LBC’.]

Angus:
What, Mayberry’s and The LBC’s locker rooms were that close together all night? Who the shit plans these things?

DDK:
Shhhhhh.

[Without knocking… unless you count almost putting one’s foot through the door as knocking… Dusty enters the locker room of The LBC.]

Dusty Griffith:
Dentari! Where are you!?

[Dusty crosses the locker room, flipping chairs and kicking bags out of his way until he reaches the door to the bathroom. Again he kicks the door in and yells out.]

Dusty Griffith:
Come out a finish this you damn coward!

[Turning back around Dusty stops still, shocked by the sudden appearance of a man other than the one he’s hunting for.]

Edward White:
Hello Dusty.

Dusty Griffith:
I’m not in the mood for any of your crap, White. Now unless you can tell me where Dentari is right now, I suggest you get out of my way.

[Dusty pushes past White and heads for the door.]

Edward White:
I believe we have something very important to discuss.

[After heaving a heavy sigh Dusty turns back to White and gets right up in his face.]

Dusty Griffith:
We have nothing to talk about.

[White takes a step away from the confrontation and smiles what can only be described as an incredibly toothy grin. Kind of like Ellis in Die Hard. Beard and all.]

Edward White:
On the contrary, Dusty...

[That’s when the attack comes.]

[Dentari lands the first strike, a slapjack to the back of the head that knocks Dusty down to the floor. Then the other members of The LBC pile in, all three of them landing stomps to any part of Griffith’s body that they can reach. Dentari drops to his knees and lands a few right hands, before handing the proceedings over to Di Luca, who starts choking Dusty with both hands wrapped tightly around his throat.]

DDK:
Woah woah woah woah woah! What’s going on!?

Angus:
I think we’re getting a peek behind the curtain!

[After a good few seconds of choking Dusty starts to turn purple. White claps his hands together and Di Luca releases Griffith’s throat, allowing him to gasp for air. Edward crouches down next to Dusty and gets right in his face.]

Edward White:
We have a lot to talk about.

Dusty Griffith:
You son of a-

[Dusty can’t finish his sentence though as Dentari, Di Luca and Rinaldi all start laying boots into him again. White backs up again until he’s sure Griffith has had enough.]

Edward White:
Enough.

[But the LBC don’t listen. They just continue to treat Dusty’s body like a prop in an audition for ‘Stomp’.]

Edward White:
Enough!

[White’s raised voice does the trick and The LBC finally relent in their assault.]

Edward White:
Do I have your attention now?

[Griffith grunts reluctantly.]

Edward White:
Good.

I want you to know off the bat, I didn’t want it to come to this. I was hoping a warning would suffice… but a warning turned into a display, which turned into an example… and things just kind of escalated until we reached the here and now.

No matter what happened you just couldn’t leave well enough alone, could you, Dusty? And now look at you.

[With a push of his foot White rolls Dusty onto his back and places a foot on his chest. He leans down to get closer to Dusty, but doesn’t get so close as to put himself in any real danger.]

Edward White:
Laid out, gasping for air at my mercy.

And this could have all been avoided… had you just been a good boy and left us to carry on as we were.

Everything was going according to the plan, Dusty. Bronson, Nicky, Frank and I were all where we needed to be. We were happy, we were content… but then you just had to get yourself involved… for you friend.

Well, you got your wish... your friend is free, and he’s your problem now, more than that, the Blood Diamonds are your problem now. Do you really think winning a few matches is all it will take? That won’t stop us! Dusty, we are going to destroy you, your friends, and everybody you hold dear.

[White drops to the floor and pushes his face up against Griffith’s. The wide eyed maniacal look wasn’t one he wore frequently, but it seemed perfectly apt for this moment.]

Edward White:
Do you hear me!? Through your actions you have opened the door to a whole other plane of suffering. Everywhere you go, everything you do, we’ll be there. Watching. Waiting. For that moment where you-

[The door to the locker almost breaks away from its hinges as a mass of muscle and hair shoulder barges his way through it. Dentari, Di Luca, and Rinaldi all turn to see Frank Dylan James, Sam Turner Jr. and Mike Bell swarm through it. White barely has enough time to get to his feet before Frank lunges for him, breaking through the LBC’s line of defence. Dentari and Di Luca try to stop him, but Mike Bell pulls Dentari away and levels him with a right hand that knocks him back into a row of lockers.]

DDK:
Here’s the cavalry!

[Di Luca throws a punch at Bell, but it’s blocked, and Bell responds with a shot that rocks Tony. Sam and Big Vinny get into it for the hundredth time of the night, grappling messily, tripping over bags and chairs as they try to get the other man to the floor.]

Angus:
The White Knights are taking it to The Socialite and The LBC!

[The seven men scuffle some more until even more big, heavy men wearing DEFSEC emblazoned shirts flood the room. Everyone does their best to ignore the calls to cease the fighting, but this ain’t DEFSEC’s first rodeo. They manage to pry apart and separate them, pushing White and the LBC back to the door as Bell, Turner and James all gather around Dusty to check on him.]

DDK:
Alright folks, the DEFIANCE World Trios Tag Team Titles are on the line. Hookers and Blow will defend their titles against the Truly Untouchable team of Diane Parker, Leon Maddox and David Race and partner, the champs are coming in at half strength at best.

Angus:
Just ‘cause bitches can’t take a joke, I mean, Ty forecasted that it would get wet in Greece, it’s not a brothas fault if bitches can’t accessorize properly for the weather.

DDK:
Shhhhure. In any case, HNB had their fun at Diane Parker’s expense after she…

Angus:
Robbed… SHE ROBBED Ty of the World Title!

DDK:
Yes, I was getting to that, Angus. Ty, Ryan and Sam humiliated her, but as it would turn out, at a pretty big cost when Parker finally snapped and along with her teammates, brutally assaulted Sam Horry.

Angus:
And now those Total Douchebags are going to pay the ultimate price when Ty and the boys whoop, dat ass and walk back out of here with the Trios straps still in their possession.

DDK:
Well, we know where Angus stands, lets take it to the ring.

[We focus in on Darren “DQ” Quimbey standing center ring. He raises his microphone...]

Quimbey:
Ladies and Gentlemen the following contest, scheduled for one fall, is for the DEFIANCE TRIOS CHAMPIONSHIP!

[The opening strains of “Curl of the Burl” by Mastodon blast through the speakers in the arena and Diane Parker, flanked by David Race and Leon Maddox, comes through the curtain into the arena to a chorus of boos. The three of them play to the crowd, and then Race and Maddox start to head to the ring, however, Parker stops both by grabbing each arm closest to her, then pulls both of them to her and the three seem to huddle up for a moment, then Parker points to the sides of the entranceway as if directing traffic.]

Angus:
Now what the hell are they up to?

[The three members of the Truly Untouchables spread out and flank the entranceway, Parker and Race on one side, and Maddox on the other.]

DDK:
Looks like they’re setting a little ambush for the champions...

Angus:
NOOOO! Ty, if you can hear me on a monitor in the back, that tricky bitch and her two man-slaves are waiting for you!

DDK:
You know, every match Hookers and Blow have, it amazes me that you are concerned for Ty’s well being but not his two tag team partners...why is that?

Angus:
Because Keebs, despite the fact that they bought me beer, Matthews and Horry can be replaced, you do NOT replace The Black Jesus!

[Indeed the music fades away and is replaced by the opening drum beat of “Stroke Me” by Mickey Avalon. The crowd half-pops and half tries to warn the DEFIANCE Trios Champions to the ambush awaiting them...]

[Just then we hear a bit of commotion coming from Keebler and Skaaland’s location.]

DDK:
Wait a minute! What the...?

Angus:
AH HA! I knew Ty and Company were too smart to fall for some shit like that more than once.

[The DEFIANCE Trios champions have come through the crowd on the far side of the ring and while Sam and Ryan slide into the ring under the bottom rope, Ty heads over to Angus and Keebs position, hollering over the crowd noise loud enough for their headsets to pick up what he’s saying.]

Walker:
Can you believe these fuckers, Angus? Try’na pull an ol’ fast one on us, good lookin’ out, bruh.

Angus:
Always!

[Ty bumps a fist with Angus, who eagerly does so like an overly excited toddler on Christmas morning. Heading to the ring, Ty grabs a mic along the way before ascending the stairs where he makes the motion for the music to be cut to the camera.]

Walker:
Now I dunno how stupid y’all bitches think we are, but ya gotta admit, you done fucked with the wrong people if you think some shit like that is gonna work on us.

[Parker, Race and Maddox look down to the ring and see Hookers and Blow standing in the ring almost mockingly waving at the three of them. This only serves to make Parker more angry than she was previously, and she turns first to Race, then to Maddox and screams some instructions, the three of them then head down the rampway and quickly pick up steam, eventually sprinting down the ramp.]

Angus:
It’s about to be on Keebs and....OH MY GOD!

[A step ahead, Ty rebounds off the far ropes, then leaps to the top rope facing out towards the ramp, then off the top rope to wipe out all three of the Truly Untouchables as they charge towards the ring.]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

DDK:
And in instant Tyrone Walker has crashed into and sent the challengers scattered all over the entrance way…

Angus:
And it looks like Matthews and Horry aren’t about to be left out of the fun here, Keebs!

[While Maddox was falling off of the ramp on the left side and Race going to the right, Sam Horry and Ryan Matthews both perched themselves up top on opposite sides of the ring. When Maddox got to his feet, Horry dove from the top rope Superfly style as he flew into Maddox and anyone in the crowd who were too close. Meanwhile, Matthews lined up his shot and took flight from the top, hitting Race with a missile dropkick.]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

DDK:
We thought this might not be a pretty match, and now we know...

Angus:
And knowing is half the battle...

Several Guys behind Angus: [In the tune of the old GI Joe PSA’s]
Hookers and Bloooooooowwwwwwww!

DDK: [Pauses as if looking back at the guys behind him]
Seriously? Are they paying people to be plants in the crowd now?

Angus:
Whatever works I guess…

[Horry hammers away on Maddox, rabbit punching him in the head Nolan Ryan style. Matthews brawls with Race on the other side of the ramp on the floor, the two throwing hockey punches. Meanwhile, Walker has taken up chasing after Parker, who madly dashes away from the angry negro that is hot on her tail.]

Angus:
Run, Bitch… RUUUUNNNN! Like your life depended on it! Like an angry black man is chasing you, which he is!

DDK:
Angus Skaaland, ladies and gentlemen, he’s been here all night… Unfortunately.

[The chaos ensues while referee Hector Navarro stands watch, occasionally barking at either of the three pairs to bring the action into the ring. Matthews and Race have made their way back on to the ramp where the two of them continuing their hockey-style brawl with Matthews’ back against the ropes. Still out on the floor, Maddox has assumed control in his fight with Horry, having taken a few shots at Horry’s injured arm as they fight against the side of the ring.]

DDK:
Parker finding her way to the relative safety of the ring.

Angus:
That might make sense if she didn’t have Black Jesus on her ass.

DDK:
I did say, relative.

[Indeed.]

[Following Parker into the ring, where she finds one side blocked by Matthews and Race, another side hosting Maddox and Horry. Panicked, she turns right into the waiting Tyrone Walker, who looks ready to pounce, but then a thought crossed her mind.]

DDK:
What in the world is she up to?

Angus:
Ty, be strong, don’t fall for this crazy wenches schemes!

[Possibly figuring the same tricks she pulled on them ACX boys might could work on Walker, she goes for broke. Ty stares, amused at the display and even backs off a step as he folds his arms across his chest, watching Parker using the ropes for balance as she arches her back and in general going against everything she stands for.]

DDK:
I don’t think he’s strong enough, Angus…

Angus:
Hush, YOU! There will be no… Aww jeez…

[Ty steps closer his focus clearly diverted, Diane bats her eyes for the Black Jesus and steps closer as well, a devious look in her eye. Pulling her close, Ty takes her by the hand and twirls her around, getting a good look before gripping her wrist tightly and pulling her back to him.]

Walker:
Remember when I said there’d be no comin’ back from this?

[That devious look? Yeah, it’s gone.]

DDK:
Of course he was playing possum.

Angus:
Hah, told you!

[Knowing the jig is up, Parker tries to break away, but gets sent to the ropes before Walker hits the ropes on the other side and comes flying back with a huge...]

Angus:
HELLLLLLLLLLLLFFFFFFYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[Okay, not nearly as effective as the King of Pain’s Hellfire Lariat, but it turns Parker inside out all the same. Ty rushes over to the nearest camera and screams “I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THAT!” with a big, toothy grin carved into his face and double thumbs up.]

Angus:
Dude! Ty! Go for the cover, man!

DDK:
Angus Skaaland, the voice of reason in a storm of insanity, who’da’thunk it?

[Deciding that since two of them are in the ring, Navarro signals to Quimbey to start the match.]

DING! DING! DING!

[Ty ignores Angus and continues mugging it up for the crowd as Parker tries to figure out the license plate of the truck that just ran her over. Meanwhile, on the outside, the remaining four sixths of the match continue to fight, but their battles begin spilling into the ring.]

DDK:
That might have been a big missed opportunity there, Angus.

Angus:
Ugh… You don’t have rub my nose in it, Keebs, dayumn.

[Seeing the chaos all around him, Ty finally attempts to the rejoin the fight, but referee Hector Navarro, who by this point has had more than enough of the clusterfuck that this thing had become, is way ahead of Walker and was already separating the two brawling pairs and ordering them to their corners.]

DDK:
Finally, some law and order, maybe now we can have a proper title match!

Angus:
You do understand who’s involved in this thing, right?

DDK: [sighs]
A man can dream, can’t he?

Angus:
You’ve got some real boring dreams, Keebs.

[Lost in the shuffle however was Diane Parker who snuck up behind Walker amidst the confusion and gave him the ol’ crotch buster when she swung her arm up hard and fast between his legs. This instantly buckles the Black Jesus and brings Matthews and Horry into the ring, which of course gets Navarro’s attention and allows Race and Maddox the opportunity to jump into the ring and drag Walker back to their corner where Parker waits to go to work on him.]

DDK:
Oh boy, Walker’s stuck in no man’s land and he has a highly motivated Diane Parker looking to get some payback for the shenanigans that Hookers and Blow has put her through over the last several weeks.

[Slumped against the corner in a seated position, Parker puts a boot against Walker’s chest, staring down at him with a highly vindictive look upon her face that grows more severe as she starts kick-stomping him in the chest. After several repeated blows, Parker drops down and starts blasting him in the face with punches and then elbows, all of which land solidly with Ty’s head until Hector Navarro has no choice but to grab a waist lock and physically remove her, literally kicking and screaming as she’s being pulled away.]

Angus:
Bitches, man, they can’t ever seem to take a joke.

[Oblivious to where he is, Ty shakes his head, clearly groggy after getting his chest and head smashed, he pulls himself up with the help of Maddox and Race. With Navarro’s back turned the two take the opportunity to get some cheap shots in, which gets Matthews and Horry to holler at Navarro about it before he releases Parker, who gets around the referee and makes a beeline back to Ty. As she approaches the corner, Ty, having come to enough to know where he’s at after getting a few wake up calls from Maddox and Race starts swinging at everything.]

DDK:
Walker coming to and swinging at everybody around him!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Angus:
YEAH!! GO, TY, GOOO!!

[Parker rushes in and scores with a shotgun dropkick to the gut and then snapmares him over.]

Angus:
Ahh… damnit!

THHHHHWWWWAAAAAPPPPPP!

WHOOOOOAAAAAHHHHH!

[Walker’s whole body reacts to the sharp soccer kick to the spine, his arms flailing outwards and back arching in response as the fans react verbally to the blow from Parker, the sound of it reverberating from her shin, through his spine and out into the airwaves.]

THHHHHWWWWAAAAAPPPPPP!

THHHHHWWWWAAAAAPPPPPP!

THHHHHWWWWAAAAAPPPPPP!

THHHHHWWWWAAAAAPPPPPP!

Walker:
AHHH! Gaw-damn-it-son-uva-bitch!

[Not nearly finished, Parker stepped back, took aim and…]

THHHHHWWWWAAAAAPPPPPP!

[Yet again, but this time…]

THHHHHWWWWAAAAAPPPPPP!
THHHHHWWWWAAAAAPPPPPP!
THHHHHWWWWAAAAAPPPPPP!
THHHHHWWWWAAAAAPPPPPP!
THHHHHWWWWAAAAAPPPPPP!
THHHHHWWWWAAAAAPPPPPP!
THHHHHWWWWAAAAAPPPPPP!
THHHHHWWWWAAAAAPPPPPP!
THHHHHWWWWAAAAAPPPPPP!
THHHHHWWWWAAAAAPPPPPP!

[Followed it up with several more in rapid fire succession. When she was done, Walker fell back and rolled around in agony. Parker took the opportunity to do a little mugging at Walker’s expense, getting herself a storm of jeers.]

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Angus:
Jay-zuss fucking kee-ryste on a pogo stick, she’s nuts, Keebs… and it’s kinda hot.

DDK:
Only you, Angus…

[Turning her attention back to Walker, Parker sits him back up, hits the ropes and then scores with a rolling neck snap, the impact bounced Ty back up to a seated position allowing Parker to score with another shotgun dropkick to the face. Arrogantly, she sauntered over and placed a single boot down on his chest for the cover.]

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

ONE!

KICKOUT!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

DDK:
Parker certainly trying to get her monies worth out of Walker’s hide.

Angus:
Bitches, man, I’m tellin’ ya… Bitches.

[Dropping down, she tries for a proper cover.]

ONE!

TWWW-KICKOUT!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[Kicking out with enough force, Walker literally threw Parker off of him and she landed on all fours. Getting up, she looks with annoyance as he starts to crawl in the general direction of his corner where Horry and Matthews eagerly await a tag. Stepping close, Parker playfully kicks at Walker when he gets to the center of the ring, mocking him with every half-hearted kick to the shoulders and head. With every inch that he moves closer, the fans cheer louder as Matthews and Horry try to rally them further behind him.]

Angus:
Is she really screwing around now, now? Seriously?

DDK:
She was a mad-woman possessed… oh come on…

[Straddling Walker’s back, she tries to ride him as he crawls, her weight slowing him down and eventually causing him to collapse to the mat when she put her full weight down on him. Rearing up on to her knees, she starts slapping the back of his head, the whole time taunting and mocking him.]

”LETS GO, WALKER!” CLAP! CLAP! CLAP-CLAP-CLAP!

[Leaning down, Parker buries a forearm against the back of his neck and grinds it hard as she continues talk trash.]

”LETS GO, WALKER!” CLAP! CLAP! CLAP-CLAP-CLAP!

[After a little bit more, Walker seemingly starts to feel the energy all around him and begins feeding off of it as he gets himself up to his hands and knees.]

”LETS GO, WALKER!” CLAP! CLAP! CLAP-CLAP-CLAP!

[Latching on to him, Parker tries to stop Walker from getting up, holding on with a bodylock using her legs, she hits him with crossface blows using her forearms.]

”LETS GO, WALKER!” CLAP! CLAP! CLAP-CLAP-CLAP!

[Ignoring those brain scrambling shots, he gets to his knees, then to one knee as he tries to will himself back to his feet.]

DDK:
Nobodies ever been able to claim that Tyrone Walker isn’t one tough Ess Ooh Bee.

Angus:
And don’t you forget it, Keebs! GO TY, GOOO!

[Somehow, someway, in spite having 161 pounds strapped to his back, Walker does make it to his feet.]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[Realizing the situation she’s in, Parker switches gears and grabs a sleeper hold. Walker takes a step forward as he tries to pull Parker’s grip apart, but stumbles after a couple half-steps and ends up on one knee again. Releasing the bodylock, Parker drops to her feet and tries to sink the sleeper hold in as tight as she can make it.]

DDK:
Hector Navarro getting in close to check on Walker.

[As Ty starts to fade he slumps a bit, still on one knee, but clearly being held up by Parker who has a tight hold around his head and neck. Navarro asks Walker if he’s okay, but gets only mumbles as his arms drop to his sides.]

[Navarro lifts Walker’s arm by the wrist and holds it up. It drops.]

“ONE!”

[Navarro lifts Walker’s arm for a second time and it drops.]

“TWO!”

Angus:
C’mon Ty, FIGHT! Goonies Never Say Die!

[Navarro lifts his arm once more and lets it go...]

”THREEEEEE?”

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

DDK:
Walker’s still in this thing!

Angus:
YES! YES!! YES!!!

[At the last possible instant, Walker comes to life as his arm stops it’s fall and he begins to fight again. First getting to his feet, second reaching back and grabbing two fistfuls of Parker’s hair and ripping her off of his back and dumping her unceremoniously to the mat, and third he takes a step towards his corner and falls back to his hands knees, clearly still weary for the sleeper hold. Regardless, Walker starts to crawl as Parker scrambles up and grabs for his ankles. Walker turns over, pulling his legs in and with one mighty heave, sends Parker flying back near her own corner where she tags in Leon Maddox. Rushing in, Maddox is unable to stop Walker from tagging out in time as Walker caught just enough of his cousins hand to make the tag.]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

DDK:
Here we go, Horry is in and…

[Vaulting over the ropes, Sam meets Leon in the center of the ring and drops him with a right, when he pops back up, he takes a left that drops him as well. Feeling the surge of adrenaline, Horry rushes into the TUT’s corner where he clobbers Race with a running front kick to the chest and then grabs Parker and tosses her out of the ring. Turning back towards Maddox, Horry dodges a dropkick and catches Maddox with a belly to belly suplex as he pops up off the mat.]

Angus:
HE’S ON FYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAHHHHHH!

[Maddox pops up again and Horry grabs in a Thai Plumb and starts blasting away with knees to the body and chest until David Race, having picked himself up off floor dove back in and clobbered Horry with a double axe to the back.]

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Matthews:
C’MON REF!!

[Seizing the opportunity, Maddox turns and drops Horry with a single-arm DDT, which instantly makes Horry recoil in pain that radiates from his already injured arm. Getting up, Maddox and Race start putting the boots to him until Ryan Matthews jumps in, he manages to toss Race out, but is quickly pulled back by Hector Navarro.]

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[With Navarro dealing with Matthews, who points and yells as he sees Parker, Race and Maddox have free reign to kick-stomp Horry. When Navarro does turn around, he immediately breaks it up, leaving Maddox with a freshly beaten Horry to go to work on.]

DDK:
Hate to say it, partner, but this might not go the champs way. Two of them came into this banged up and Horry is basically fighting with one arm.

Angus:
Nah, Horry’s got ‘em right where he wants ‘em, Keebs.

DDK:
If you say so… Your faith hasn’t gone unrewarded very often.

Angus:
That’s why I pray to the Black Jesus and not that hippy in all those paintings, Ty actually gets things done!

DDK:
R……..ight.

[Back to the action.]

[Maddox has since gone to work, focusing his entire attack on Horry’s busted shoulder. At the moment, Maddox wrenches on the arm using a hammerlock and occasionally pulls up on it when Horry tries anything to find a way out of the hold. Eventually Horry does work his way up to a standing position and fires some back elbows at Maddox, but gets his arm yanked on in response which causes Horry to jerk in pain.]

DDK:
Horry looking for an exit, but Maddox can put a stop to it just by jerking on that arm.

Angus:
Yeah, smart strategy… jerks!

[Horry fires another reverse elbow and manages to spin himself around and fire a straight elbow that connects solidly with the side of Maddox’s head. Leon in turn fires back with an elbow of his own, then Sam fires one, then Lennox, then Horry again, and again, and before he can get too many more shots in Maddox jerks the arm hard and then wrings it before pulling his arm up over his shoulder and dropping with all of his weight to pull down on the arm.]

[The sound is Horry howling in pain.]

DDK:
Good lord, the pain that man must be in.

Angus:
Nah, he’s just giving him false hope!

[Maddox held on to the arm and pulled Horry up off his knees, twisting the arm Maddox positions Horry’s arm over his shoulder and then lifts and yanks it down across his shoulder once, then twice, the thrice, and then switched positions and scored with a dragon screw to the arm, which drops Sam to the mat in agonizing pain. Maddox gets up, still clutching Horry’s arm as he pulls him up. Maddox looks over to Matthews and the recently, somewhat recovered Walker, taunts them before hitting another dragon screw on the arm. Getting up, Maddox puts a boot down on Horry’s shoulder as he continues to taunt Matthews and Walker, while Horry howls from the pain.]

Angus:
Anytime now, I’m telling you, Keebs.

DDK:
I don’t know, partner, it’s awfully difficult to get anything going when your opponent can immediately put a stop to anything by just yanking your arm.

[Maddox turns his attention back to Horry, leaning down to pull him up, Horry switches gears when he puts a boot into Maddox’s gut and flips him up and over. Maddox is up quickly and when he tries to pull Horry up, he gets thrown again when Sam puts a foot into his midsection and rolls back with the throw. Rolling back, Horry gets to his feet and makes for his corner, but Maddox is up quickly, but when he spins Horry around, he receives a palm blow right to the face, instantly bringing Maddox’s hands up to his face, opening him up to a spinning back kick to the gut and then a knee lift to the head that drops him.]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Angus:
Get to the corner, dude!

DDK:
Wait-a-minute… David Race is in the ring!

[Navarro notices this and immediately cuts him off, however while he’s preoccupied he doesn’t see that Sam has made the tag, bringing in his refreshed cousin, Tyrone Walker.]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[Ty jumps into the ring, clobbering Maddox with a clothesline and then flies over to the TUT’s corner and blasts Race with an elbow shot and then turns to way-lay Parker, but before he can do that, Navarro blocks him and begins pushing him back.]

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

DDK:
Hector Navarro didn’t see the tag…

Angus:
Son of a bitch! Now the Toots are ganging up on Horry again!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[Parker and Race sneak up behind Navarro and each grab hold of one of Horry’s ankles, as he had collapsed in pain after finally making the tag. They drag him back towards their side of the ring and trap him in the corner where they do the proverbial number on him, which resumes with both Matthews and Walker protesting.]

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Angus:
Damnit, eyes on the ball, Navarro!

[This continues until Navarro finally turns around, which is when Maddox tags out to Race, who opens up with some knife edge chops before pulling him out of the corner, setting himself on the top turnbuckle where he digs his knee into the back of Horry’s busted shoulder and then drives him to the mat with all of his weight coming down on Horry’s shoulder. Pulling him away from the ropes, Race turns him over and locks in a hammerlock.]

DDK:
His shoulder has to be absolutely shredded at this point, there’s no way he can live through much more of the pain that has to be screaming throughout his arm.

Angus:
No pain, Sam, there is no pain, just like that chick from Best of the Best said!

DDK:
Easy for you to say, you’re not the one whose arm has been systematically mangled.

[Changing positions, Race lifts Horry up, taking a front facelock and locking in another hammerlock, but Horry counters with a sudden burst as he grabs around Race’s body with his free arm and takes him over with a Northern Lights Suplex. Race however, had the presence of mind to hold the hammerlock the whole way through the impact caused a sudden and violent jerk on Horry’s arm. Rolling Horry over, Race pulls him up while still holding the hammerlock and then transitions so that he stands face to face with Horry, wrings his arm and then ducks in before taking him up and over with a hammerlocking Northern Lights Suplex.]

ONE!

TWO!

THREE-NO!-KICKOUT!

DDK:
An impressive bit of chain wrestling there, David Race never letting up on the arm through any of it.

Angus:
Pssh, yeah… whatever. If you like that sort of thing, heh.

[Race lifts Horry up and throws him with a T-Bone Suplex. Race opts to not go for the cover, pulling Horry up by his head, who reaches up and tries to grab the Thai Plumb again, but Race counters into the Fujiwara Armbar!]

DDK:
He’s got him in the center of the ring and armbar is sunk in deep!

Angus:
NOOOOOOOOOOO!

[Sam hollers in pain and Race digs down deep on the armbar, pulling it back as hard as he can, bending the shoulder joint at a sick and unnatural angle.]

Angus:
Holy sweet baby Jesus, how is his arm not breaking off?!

DDK:
Race is certainly trying his best to make that happen!

[Navarro drops to a knee and asks Sam if he wants to give it up, getting a definitive “NO!” in response.]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[Having seen enough, Matthews jumps into the ring to save his best friend and kick-stomps Race on the chest, but the young gun “Arm Collector” doesn’t even flinch, just pulls on Horry’s arm harder. Matthews kick-stomps again and again until Navarro pulls him away, which gave Walker and opening to come flying off of the ropes.]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Angus:
BOOOOOOM, HEEEEAAAADSHHHHOT!

[Walker scoring with his diving missile dropkick from the top rope does the trick, breaking Race’s hold on the armbar. Walker scrambles to the outside and back to HNB’s corner, the whole time, the Truly Untouchables screaming and pointing at referee Hector Navarro about the interference.]

Angus:
HAH! Bitches be complainin’ when the tables get turned!

DDK:
Turnabout is, indeed, fair play.

[Down on the mat, Horry clutches his arm and Race rolls around holding his head after getting absolutely blasted by Walker’s dropkick from out of nowhere. Eventually the two begin getting up, with Race being the first to his feet, shaking his head as he reaches down to pull Horry up the rest of the way and goes for a sitout spinebuster...]

Angus:
AYE!! HE’S STEALING TY’S MOVE!! THAT BASTARD!!

[Horry floats over at the high point, landing himself behind Race and when he turns, Horry scores with a high roundhouse and then flows right into a lightning fast legsweep.]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

DDK:
STREET SWEEPER!! Horry scores with his roundhouse, legsweep combo!

Angus:
Aww man, Sam’s too messed up to even think about going for the pin, this could be over right now!

[The legsweep dumps Race right on to the back of his head, Horry merely slumps over as he clutches his arm again. Before long, both of them begin to stir and turn towards their corners with both sides rallying for their respective teammates to make it.]

DDK:
Both men digging, clawing, pulling themselves to their corners, this thing is about to explode, Angus!

Angus:
I’M SO EXCITED! I THINK MY HEAD IS GONNA ‘SPLODE!

[Race gets closer. Horry gets closer. Parker and Maddox lean as far as they can to reach for the incoming tag. Walker and Matthews are practically teetering on the top rope as they reach for the tag.]

TAG!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

DDK:
Race gets the tag to Maddox!

TAG!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Angus:
Matthews gets the tag!

[Matthews storms into the ring and levels Maddox with a clothesline, Diane Parker rushes in and gets scooped and slammed, Race is up and he gets a boot and swinging neckbreaker for his trouble before he rolls to the outside. Parker is back up and tries to rush Matthews, but gets back body dropped and she rolls out to the floor. Maddox is back up and takes another clothesline, then a second, Maddox pops up again and swings wildly only for Matthews to catch his arm, gives it a twist and then pulls him in for a short-arm clothesline.]

Angus:
AND HE’S ON FYYYYYYAH TOO!

DDK:
He sure is, partner, Ryan Matthews is clobbering and tossing everything that moves.

Angus:
INCOMING!

[On the outside Race tries to get back into the ring, but gets taken out when Walker comes flying from out of nowhere again with a diving senton, crashing on top of him as they hit the floor. On the outside, Parker slides a chair on to the ramp and then climbs up herself, always keeping a keen eye on what’s going on with Matthews and Maddox in the ring.]

Angus:
Oh great, what’s she up to?

DDK:
If one thing has been clear since the rise of the Truly Untouchables, you must always be aware of where Diane Parker is.

[Meanwhile, back in the ring, Ryan continues to pour on the pressure as he peels Maddox off of the mat after the short-arm clothesline, scoops him up and drops down with a powerslam near the turnbuckles. Unbeknownst to Matthews, whose focus is on Maddox, Parker has picked up the chair as he mounts the ropes, standing on the second ropes.]

Angus:
LOOK OUT DUDE, SHE’S GOTTA…

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

DDK:
Here comes Lisa Loeh along with Roger Stevens and Yoshikazu YAZ!

[On the floor near the ramp, David Race has since lost Tyrone Walker in the crowd after being bowled over by the diving senton. Race watches as Loeh comes racing down the ramp and Parker lifts the chair and cocks it back to hit Matthews, but Loeh catches the chair behind Parker’s head. In the ring, Ryan looks over to see the commotion, makes a motion to Roger Stevens as if to say “good looking out” to which Stevens nods as Matthews jumps from the ropes and drops the leg across Maddox’s face.]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

DDK:
She just saved Matthews and now they’re struggling for the chair!

Angus:
She just allowed him to drop the big leg, know-uhm-sayin?

DDK:
Yes, unfortunately.

[Matthews makes the cover.]

ONE!

TWO!

THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-NO!-KICKOUT!

[Out on the ramp. Parker and Loeh continue tugging the chair back and forth, but when Race pulls himself up on to the ramp to help Parker, Lisa ever so conveniently “loses” the tug-o-war when Stevens yells to her over the crowd noise “we can’t get those guys DQ’d!”, which causes Lisa to let Parker pull the chair away with all of her might, swinging around and absolutely CRUSHING David Race right in the face with the chair, causing him to fall off the ramp right into the waiting crowd.]

Angus: [laughing uncontrollably]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Back in the ring. Ryan has been joined by Ty and Sam, all of whom stand near referee Hector Navarro as they all watch what has just happened right before them. Navarro is speechless, possibly unsure if any ruling could be made, since Lisa Loeh technically had “nothing” to do with Race getting cracked in the face with that chair, Navarro shrugs and says “game on”. Meanwhile, Hookers and Blow have joined Angus in bouts of hysterical laughter.]

DDK:
Look at Parker, she’s beside herself!

[Indeed she is, her jaw dropped as she watched Race collapse, then her face turned red and she turned around and charged at Lisa Loeh!]

[Lisa ducks behind Stevens, who is enough of a deterrent to keep Parker at bay. Diane stands there yelling at Lisa. Meanwhile, Ryan, Sam and Ty have gotten over their fits of laughter and come to the realization this has turned into a three on one fight, with Leon Maddox all by himself. HNB huddle and then “break” with a clap of their hands, where Ryan is the first to grab Maddox hitting him with the Codebreaker to the front, the impact bouncing Maddox up into Sam, who hits him with a second codebreaker to the back, which bounces him into the waiting Ty Walker who scoops him up on to his shoulders, spins him off and drops him...]

DDK:
OLD SCHOOL SPECIAL, the TKO Driver!

Angus:
And HNB just created their second RUBE GOLDBERG MACHINE!

[Matthews dives on for the cover, because he’s still the legal man, Navarro dives in for the count.]

ONE!

[Meanwhile. On the ramp, Lisa laughs and points to the ring.]

TWO!

[Diane turns around to see that it was all over.]

THREE!

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Quimbey:
Here are your WINNERS… and… STILL… DEFIANCE WORLD TRIOS TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS… of the WOOORRRLLLD… HOOOOOOKKKKKKKEEERRRRRRRS ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND BLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWW!!

[Parker screams, furious as she stomps around, completely beside herself while Lisa, Stevens, and YAZ back away, satisfied with a job well done.]

Angus:
YUSS!! I TOLD YA, KEEBS!! KEEP THE FAITH WHEN THE BLACK JESUS IS INVOLVED!

♫ STROKE ME, STROKE ME ♫

[Mickey Avalon’s version of Billy Squier’s “Stroke Me” hits the eardrums as the reigning and still defending trios champs dive out of the ring and begin celebrating with the fans in the crowd.]

[Backstage.]

[Specifically, the office of Kelly Evans.]

[You know, DEFIANCE’s new Head Bitch in Charge.]

“I see you’ve jumped right in head first, no time-wasting, eh?.”

[That voice belonged to The Only Star, and the real End Boss of DEFIANCE, one Eric Dane. He stood across from Kelly’s desk. To her credit she spoke to him not as an equal, not as a friend, former lover, or running buddy, but as a business associate.]

Kelly:
I figure there’s no time like the present.

Dane:
And that mess with the Blood Diamonds and Griffith and his crew?

[Evans sits back in her chair pensively.]

Kelly:
Don’t even start with me about that, I saw how you put Griffith and Bell together, you probably set that whole thing up while everybody else was on a piss-break.

[The Baws cracks a smile.]

Dane:
Did I, now?

[She shrugs.]

Dane:
Look, I’m not complaining, I’m just making sure you’re ready to deal with these assholes. They’re already gonna be second-guessing you because of A) Who you are, B) Your entire career up until today, C) Your obvious ability to be bought off-

[She interrupts.]

Kelly:
Hey! You set up tha-

[Eric raises a warning finger.]

Dane:
Tut-tut, no spoilers.

[Kelly huffs, ever so pouty.]

Kelly:
Look. Go home. All the way home. Take a day off. You got us through Box trying to kill someone. You got us through Goldman. You got us through getting kicked off of TV. You got us to Japan, and you’ve gotten us two-thirds of the way through a World Tour. Take two days off. Let me handle DEFIANCE and you go get us a new house, okay?

[Dane speculates.]

Kelly:
Take your own advice for once and ACCEPT HELP.

[More speculation.]

Dane:
Alright, Kels. It’s on you then. Bring us through Canada and home. Once you get home, we’ll have this talk again and see about a full-time position in the office. One last thing though, and I’m serious about this.

[She cocks her pretty little head.]

Dane:
This thing with Bell. Don’t fuck it up. He remembers Florida. He’s not like us, he doesn’t let things go for the good of the whole, not when it was his wife. Stay out of his way, and don’t antagonize him.

Kelly:
Aw, fuck him! If I’m gonna be the Boss here then-

[He cuts her off sharply.]

Dane:
This is a deal-breaker, Kels. Bell is off limits.

[More huffing. More puffing. Somewhere a straw house is blown in.]

Kelly:
Fine. What about Ty?

Dane:
What about him? If he could let that Christian Light shit go, he damn well better be able to make it work with Mike Bell around.

Kelly:
If you say so.

Dane:
Yes, exactly, because I do say so. Either way, he’s your problem, so if he can’t make it work, it’s up to you make it work for him. Now then, you wanted the job, so do your job.

[Dane adjusts the jacket of his suit and then leaves.]

[Good lord, help us. Kelly Evans is behind the wheel now, for real this time.]

[Back to the desk.]

Angus:
Big Daddy puttin’ it down like DA BAWS!

DDK:
Did you just call Eric Dane, “Big Daddy”?

Angus:
You know that I did! Now let that sink in while we watch Heidi kick Kai Scott’s teeth down his throat and get her World Title back!

DDK:
You a big Heidi fan now?

Angus:
Only when she’s rockin’ the yoga-pants.

Angus:
It’s WURLD TITAL time, partner, and let me start off by saying, if we learned nothing else from this match, it’s that it’s a bad, bad idea to give Eric Dane a chance to put you on the spot.  Kai Scott was lazy, Kai didn’t go issuing challenges or dares, he was fine just sitting on his World Title, and the BAWS said “no, not even a little bit.”

DDK:
I don’t know how this match is going to go down, Angus, because it could go a lot of ways.  Kai Scott is brilliant, he always has at least five backup plans going on, but Heidi put him in a very unusual position just a couple hours ago earlier on the show.  She said, roughly, play fair and I’ll let you live, anything else and I’ll kill you.

Angus:
Keebs, I have a healthy and respectful fear of Heidi Christenson.  She’s a former World Champion in Defiance, and at least a two-time World Champ outside.  Plus, I don’t see how it possibly matters but it’s worth mentioning all the same, she’s got an un-cashed shot at the CAL World Title.  But she’s going up against Kai Scott, and if there’s a weak spot in her game, and there’s actually several, he’s going to know what to do with them.

DDK:
On the other hand, has Scott yet faced a wrestler more familiar with himself than Heidi is?  They’re both former Untouchables, their careers have been intertwined for literally over a decade.  Scott may have weaknesses that neither of us have ever picked up on, that Heidi’s familiar with. 

Darren “DQ” Quimbey:
Ladies and Gentlemen.  The following contest is your MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING!  It is set for one fall, with a thirty minute time limit, and it is for the DEFIANCE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!

[Dim the lights, and cue the psychedelic electric organ notes of Heidi’s theme - her old school, classic theme.  “Shine” - Orange Goblin.]

♫ Dream on… ♫
♫ Dream on baby, let it go ♫
♫ Dream on baby, let it go… ♫

Quimbey:
Introducing first! Hailing from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, and weighing in at 156 lbs!  She is a former two time Defiance Tag Champion, and a former Defiance World Champion!  Known as the Sexy Submission Siren, and the Psycho-Goddess of the Defiant Universe!  She is HEIDI… CHRRIIIISSSSTEEENNNSSSOOON!

[Even though it’s not a world famous song, the galloping beat is easy to follow, and the fans against the ramp and at ringside bang their fists along with the beat.]

♫ You wanna ride with me now you wanna fly so high ♫
♫ With eyes like holes in the sun you’re gonna touch the sky ♫
♫ You wanna walk in the stars and tie yourself to the moon ♫
♫ You know your future is comin’ and it’s comin’ soon ♫

[Heidi walks out onto the ramp.  She’s dressed in her big match gear - white one-piece, white kickguards.  She even leans down to slap a few fans’ hands as she walks to the ring.]

DDK:
Heidi Christenson coming out here like her old, old self Angus - we haven’t seen her play straight good guy since, well, really since the closure of Old Line Wrestling.  You have to wonder, though, if this is genuine or if it’s some sort of mindgame she’s playing with Kai Scott.

Angus:
Keebs, mind games have points.  I absolutely agree with Eric Dane when he says that nothing Heidi does makes any sense.  I mean, you remember what she told Scott earlier, right?  If he can beat her fair and square, he lives.  If he cheats, she’ll hunt him down.  And that part I’m clear on, but she also threatened to kill him if she beats him!

♫ I am the sun that will shine forever in your heart ♫
♫ I am the stars that will shine for you when we’re apart ♫
♫ And when we wake on the shores that bring the dawn of time ♫
♫ You know the light in your eyes it will forever shine ♫

[Heidi steps into the ring, tests the ropes, and then stretches her leg on the top rope.  The ringside fans, all of whom are male, are very happy with this turn of events.]

Angus:
Over here!  Heidi, OVER HERE!

♫ Oh yeah! ♫

♫ Alright! ♫

♫ Shine on! ♫

[“Shine” fades.]

[And is replaced by Ozzy.]

♫ I am the world that hides the universal secrets of all time ♫
♫ Destruction of the empty spaces is my one and only crime ♫

Darren “DQ” Quimbey:
And her opponent! Hailing from Annapolis, Maryland, and weighing in at 232 lbs!  He is a former Defiance Trios Tag Champion, and he is the reigning Defiance World Champion!  He is the leader of the Truly Untouchables, the man they call the Ace of Heels!  He is KAAAAIIII… SSSSSCCCCCOOOOOOTTTTTT!!!!!!!

BBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

DDK:
And a most negative reaction for the reigning champion!

♫ I lived a thousand times ♫
♫ I found out what it means to be believed ♫
♫ The thoughts and images ♫
♫ The unborn child that never was conceived ♫

[The Ace of Heels walks out.  If he’s rattled, he’s not showing it.  Clad in black wrestling trunks with yellow and red trim as opposed to his usual white, he throws his arms out to the sides, showing off the belt around his waist, and spins as though he were the pope.]

Angus:
Heidi’s been doing everything she can to get inside his head, and I don’t know exactly what he’s going to do about it, but let me make something clear Darren.  I don’t like Kai Scott, not at all, but I respect him.  I respect the way he can grab victory from the jaws of defeat and slip his tail out of a trap when nobody’s watching.  

DDK:
The question is, Angus, how is he going to go about wrestling someone as unpredictable and unstable as Heidi?  She told him that the only way she isn’t going to try to hunt him down after the match is if he beats her fair and square.  Not tries - succeeds.

Angus:
Yeah, he’s a top tier guy, I’m not sure that was a good idea on her part, but hey…

♫ Well I know it’s hard for you to know the reasons why ♫
♫ And I know you’ll understand a-when it’s time to die ♫
♫ Don’t believe the life you had will be the only one ♫
♫ You have to let your body sleep to let your soul live on ♫

[Scott steps into the ring and, as usual, doesn’t want to let go of the belt.  Benny Doyle has to yank it from his hands.]

DING!  DING!  DING!

THWAAACK!

[The second the bell was rung, Heidi blasted Scott in the ribs with a roundhouse kick.]

DDK:
Heidi already going to work!

[Heidi lights the champ up with some of the nastiest kicks she’s ever thrown.  One to the ribs, one across the chest, one to the back of the thigh, another to the chest, one to the small of the back, and one just below the chin and the champ is knocked flat to the mat!]

RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

[Heidi waves her arms, getting the fans into it, as Scott lies on the mat clutching his chest.  He tries to get to his feet, but the second he moves Heidi’s already on him, kicking him in the ribs.  Scott goes rolling across the ring, Heidi missing with several stomps, and slides out of the ring.]

[Scott grabs Heidi’s feet.]

[Heidi doesn’t defend the usual way, she just grabs the bottom rope, so when Scott tries to pull her out of the ring, she doesn’t spill all the way to the floor.  Hanging onto the bottom rope, she snares his neck with her legs.]

Angus:
Squeeze him til his eyes explode!

[Heidi flips backwards and frankensteiners Scott. Only, instead of tossing him to the ground, she smashes his head directly into the ring apron!]

DDK:
I have never seen anyone do that!  And the champ is at a huge disadvantage already!

[Heidi tells the fans to clear back.  They do.  She scoop slams Scott on the concrete floor.  It’s kind of a lopsided scoop slam, but he outweighs her by 80 lbs, so be nice.  Scott is immediately fed back into the ring.  Heidi waits on him to stand, springboards in, and wipes him out with a spinning heel kick!]

DDK:
Down goes the champion again!

[Heidi quickly moves behind Scott, pulls him to a seated position and spinal taps him.  Hard.]

SWAAAAACK!!!
OHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

[Scott involuntarily raises his arms as Heidi bolts off the ropes and, instead of kicking him, jumps and hits a flipping neckbreaker.  She doesn’t let go of his neck.  Instead, she flips back over his body, steps around his leg, and twists him down into a seated leg trap guillotine choke!  Scott makes some sort of a pained noise that sounds more like a gargle than anything else, but he has the strength to push her back and break the hold.   Heidi immediately shoots on on the leg she’s already wrapped up, but Scott steps over her and sheds her grip.  He falls back into the ropes, hanging onto the top.]

DDK:
It’s been one hundred percent Heidi so far.  Benny Doyle’s trying to force her back - Scott with a cheapshot that Heidi ducked!

[Heidi even thinks to pull Benny Doyle down with her so that Scott’s jumping crescent kick misses.  She counters with a high roundhouse kick to the head.]

KER-THWAAAAACK!!!

[Scott stumbles and then faceplants.  Heidi sits down on his back.]

DDK:
Heidi looking to apply a camel clutch?  No, she’s rolling it over, it’s a lotus lock!  One of her favorite wear down holds and a setup for both her Twisted Triangle and Beautiful Dreamer.  A lot of pressure on Scott’s neck there.

[Scott tries dragging himself to the ropes, but the leverage is all wrong - he can’t get enough traction to drag even someone as light as Heidi.  He tries the other counter of back-bridging and trying to force her shoulders to the mat.  Only problem is that when he does, Heidi quickly shifts her grip to the side, applying a neck crank with the legs.]

Angus:
There are like… maybe ten wrestlers out there who can really go hold for hold with Heidi.  We wondered if Scott was one of them, and clearly, he’s not.

[Scott scrabbles his way to the ropes.  Heidi holds on until the count of four.  When she finally lets go, she hangs onto Scott’s arm, not letting him roll out of the ring, and starts dragging him back in.  Kawada kicks to the face stun the champion, then Heidi stands over his shoulder, applies a standing headscissors and just kneels out, smashing his face into the mat.  Rather than go back to the mat, she pulls Scott back up to his knees and kicks him in the chest, sending him reeling backwards.]

[Heidi pulls Scott up to his feet one more time, and applies the full nelson.]

DDK:
Dragon suplex coming up, but Scott counters!

[Scott, recognizing the danger, slips away from the full nelson and pulls Heidi in for a short arm clothesline.  Heidi ducks, but Scott ducks the retaliatory roundhouse.  In one fluid motion, as he ducks he also spins, hits a sole butt to the ribs, grabs Heidi while she’s doubled over, lifts her overhead and drives her down with a kneeling powerbomb!]

ONE…!

...TWO…!


…...THREEKICKOUT!

Angus:
Goddamn that was close.

DDK:
Scott with the counter out of nowhere, and we do know that Heidi with her light frame is vulnerable to powerbombs, but is Scott going to be able to capitalize on that?

[Heidi nurses the back of her head.  Scott is up slowly. It didn’t show until now, but he’s already got a small trickle of blood on his forehead, probably from when Heidi bashed it into the ring apron.]

[Scott’s up to his feet first, and he attacks Heidi with clubbing forearm smashes to the small of the back,  He pulls her up, doubles her over with another sole butt, then sends her into the turnbuckle with a thrust kick.  He follows up with a running knee, then pushes her back into the buckle and delivers a series of knife edge chops.  Methodically, using his weight, he hoists her up into a fireman’s carry, tosses her to the mat, and hits a jumping leg drop to the throat.]

DDK:
Scott’s always been a striker but this isn’t his usual wrestling style.  

Angus:
It’s called playing it conservative, Keebs.  He’s got all match to break out the big guns, he keeps the belt if it goes to time limit, or she gets disqualified, or anything, and it’s a low risk style cos she needs distance for those real killer kicks like she started off with.  She’ll worm and squirm out of suplexes and turn fucking everything into submission holds that AREN’T GODDAMN POSSIBLE, but she can’t counter knife edge chops so well.

[Scott sends Heidi towards the ropes again, but having got some space to move, Heidi hangs onto the ropes.  The champ leaps towards her, attempting a splash in the ropes-]

[-and Heidi slips between the middle ropes, leaning back and swinging her foot up to crack the champion in the back of his head!]

[Lights bursting behind his eyes the champ goes stumbling, and Heidi leaps, catches him with the flying bodyscissors, Scott brings her up, and Heidi bulldogs him to the mat!  Heidi’s on the move instantly, grabbing the arm, lacing it around her leg and applying the omo-plata!]

DDK:
Now there’s a move that Scott knows pretty well, it’s a staple of his disciple Claira St. Sure’s gameplan.

[Scott tries to roll out of the hold, but Heidi rolls with him and they end up in the middle of the ring.  Heidi begins twisting her body around, snaking her legs across Scott’s back…]

DDK:
She’s trying to put him in Claira’s Truly Untouchabreaker!

[Apparently DDK and Scott realized it at the exact same time.  Or maybe Scott heard.  He pulls his arm in to his chest and gets his knees under his body.  With a desperate twist, he gets his legs on the ropes.]

DDK:
Heidi’s reluctant to let go of that hold, and if you’ll notice she’s still nursing her back a bit from that powerbomb. Benny Doyle starting the count on her, and Heidi releases the hold at four.

[Heidi stomps Scott a few times on the injured shoulder, then jumps high - she’s got a really impressive vertical leap for a girl, must be dem thighs - and lands on the small of Scott’s back with a double knee drop.  She pulls the Ace of Heels to his feet and sends him chest first into the nearby turnbuckle.]

[Holding a finger up, Heidi then brings it to her lips, shushing the crowd.]

Angus:
I can’t watch… oh wait, yes I can.

KA-THWAAAAAAAAAAACK!

[The buzzsaw roundhouse kick connects with the small of Scott’s back. The champ howls in agony as his arms raise involuntarily.]

KA-THWAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

[And a second one with the back of his head!]

[Heidi pushes Scott’s upper body under the top rope, then pulls it back.  She jumps to his shoulders, laces dem thighs under his neck, leans back and grabs his legs.]

DDK:
Modified tarantula hold from Heidi, and that’s absolutely an illegal maneuver, and Doyle is starting the count!

[Again, Heidi lets go at four.]

Angus:
If nothing else, she’s learned to listen to the refs.

[As if she wasn’t done doing stuff she shouldn’t be able to do, Heidi actually picks Scott up in a side carry and delivers a pendulum backbreaker.  The champ tries to roll to safety, but Heidi dives on his back.  She clubs him on the side of the head with her elbow, trying to work for some other hold or other, but Scott grits his teeth, takes the shots, and gets the ropes.]

[Heidi’s all aggressive.  When Doyle tries to make her clear back, she refuses, even as Scott gets his feet under him.  Heidi grabs his head, Doyle tries to push her back - and Scott drops to the mat, pulling her neck down across the ring apron.]

[This time Heidi reels away towards the center of the mat, and she turns around right into-]

DDK:
Crescent kick!  Crescent kick from Scott, incredible extension on the leg!

[Scott goes all the way down to the canvas himself, but Heidi is turned inside out by the kick.]

Angus:
Even knowing the crescent kick’s coming isn’t always enough to keep Scott from clocking your shit with it.  Keebs, like I keep saying, there are too many things I hate about the guy for me to like him, but he’s not my least favorite either and I do respect him.

[Scott grabs Heidi by the waist, deadlifts her off the mat, bridges back and executes a textbook German suplex pin.]

ONE…!


...TWO…!


…...THREEKICKOUT!

DDK:
Very close!

[Scott rests on his knees, looking at Heidi.]

DDK:
There are so few safe ways to approach that woman.  With her flexibility and Mixed Martial Lucha as people have been calling it lately, she can shift from defense to offense and get herself a rest out of nowhere.  Scott’s trying to work up a gameplan.

[Scott pulls Heidi to a seated position.]

THWAAAACK!
THWAAAAACK!
THWWAAAAAACKK!!

Angus:
Wow.

DDK:
Scott’s no minor-league striker himself, those were some vicious spinal taps, and corkscrew enzuigiri to finish it all off!

Angus:
Why do you suppose Heidi’s working his back?  It might stop him from suplexing the crap out of her if she were a hundred pounds heavier.

DDK:
I really can’t say.

[Scott picks Heidi up.  Another sole butt.  This time he sends her off the ropes with an Irish whip.]

[Heidi rebounds, ducks the crescent kick!]

[But Scott catches her on the next rebound with a roundhouse dropkick.  Again Heidi is knocked for a loop.  Scott scrambles into the cover, cradling both legs.]

ONE…!


...TWO…!


…...KICKOUT!

[Scott pulls Heidi back up, twists her arm across her own neck, and DRIVES her into the mat with a cutthroat backdrop driver!]

Angus:
Scott with the fancy stuff now.

ONE!


...TWO…!


…...THREKICKOUT!

DDK:
Not exactly Angus, he’s not doing any of those super-elaborate show-offish moves he used in the tag matches with the Untouchables.  That cutthroat was more to prevent Heidi from countering than to do extra damage.

[Scott grabs Heidi’s arm and this time applies the cobra clutch with Heidi face down on the mat.  From there, like he did earlier, he simply deadlifts her right off the mat.]

Angus:
OH MY GOD NECKS AREN’T SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!!

[The swing from the deadlift caused Heidi’s body to rotate further than usual, and she took the suplex right on the back of her neck.]

[Scott goes for the cover.]

ONE…!


...TWO…!


…...THREE…


……...EEEKICKOUT!

DDK:
I - I was legitimately worried that Heidi might have broken her neck on that one, but she just kicked out!  Scott can’t believe it!

[Scott really can’t.  On his knees, he rolls Heidi over and shakes his head.]

[But when all else fails, it’s time to start bringing out the big guns.]

DDK:
Scott’s calling for Kryptonite!

[Heidi’s almost unresisting as Scott butterflies her arms, but when he tries to lift, she deadweights.  Scott tries again, but Heidi’s got her leg behind one of his.  But, since it worked all those other times, Scott tries simple brute force, heaving her into the air - high enough that she flips through the lift and takes him down to the mat with a hurricanrana!]

RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

DDK:
The challenger’s fighting back!  She’s not dead!.

[The ‘rana dumped Scott on his back, and although he took it rolling, he’s up slowly enough that Heidi also has time to recover.  The Ace of Heels lashes out with a crescent kick, but this time Heidi’s easily prepared to duck it.  She runs under his leg, hops to the middle rope, and off with a flying arm drag!  The arm drag doesn’t hurt too much, but that wasn’t the point.]

[The point was that when he stood up from the arm drag, he was positioned perfectly for a jump spinning roundhouse kick.]

THWAAAAAAAAAAAACK!

[Somehow, Scott doesn’t lose his vertical base, but he weebles and wobbles, and Heidi pulls herself together, grabs the full nelson-]

DDK:
Dragon suplex!

[Heidi’s dragon suplex isn’t a bridge, it’s just a nasty whip directly onto the back of the neck.  Scott’s body crumples, and he ends up face down on the mat. Heidi has to roll him over before making the cover.]

ONE…!


...TWO…!


…...THREEKICKOUT!

Angus:
See, if she’d learn to bridge for her dragon suplex she might’ve had it there.

[But Heidi, like she’s listening or something, gets another full nelson applied.  The rubber-legged champ is brought to his feet, and taken up and over with another Dragon suplex, this one with the bridging pinfall!]

ONE…!


...TWO…!


…...THREE…


……...EEKICKOUT!

Angus:
Never mind.

[The fans yell and scream and the ones at ringside hammer their fists on the apron as Heidi sits up.  Tired, hurting, she looks at the champion clutch his neck and tries to catch her breath.]

DDK:
Where does Heidi go from here, Angus? It’s not every day that the dragon suplex isn’t enough.

Angus:
I don’t know why you’re asking me Keebs, I’m color commentary not technical, but I do know this.  She’d better follow her shit up and keep on him!

[Heidi starts pulling Scott to his feet.  She sticks her head under his arm and slowly lifts him up.]

DDK:
Looking for the Schwein, and-

[Scott sees it coming and fights.  Heidi isn’t strong enough to lift a resisting opponent for this one, and he slips out, lands on his feet.  With Heidi already half set up, he lifts her up into the vertical suplex.  Heidi sees Zer Soze coming, kicks, slips out the back, applies another full nelson, Scott breaks it, pulls her into a short arm kitchen sink, powerbomb lift, Heidi shows a flash of her bad self and immediately rips him across the face.  And Scott responds by falling backwards, guillotining Heidi’s neck across the top rope!  Heidi stumbles back and Scott schoolboys her.]

ONE…!


...TWO…!


…...THRE-COUNTERED!

Angus:
HOLY SHIT TWISTED TRIANGLE!

[The schoolboy got Scott too close to the danger zone, and Heidi almost instinctively applied one of the most dangerous holds in her arsenal.  Since this is Heidi we’re talking about, that’s saying something.]

Angus:
It looks like a headscissor at a weird angle, but it’ll knock you out in seconds.  Hurts your neck, too, especially after taking two dragon suplexes.]

[Scott scrabbles to the ropes in a near panic and drapes his right ankle over them.  Heidi lets go immediately, but she’s right on his back pulling his arm into a cutthroat.]

DDK:
Beautiful Dreamer attempt!

RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

[The fans go nuts as Scott scrabbles for the ropes, but Heidi positions herself between Scott and the nearest set.]

DDK:
She’s blocking off his retreat to the ropes, Scott’s protecting his other arm like his life depends on it.

Angus:
Didn’t you hear her earlier Keebs?  It totally does!  If she gets him in Beautiful Dreamer, after he taps, what else does she have to do to hurt him besides crank the hold and rip his rotator cuffs apart?

[Scott gets to his feet with Heidi still trying to get the hold applied.  But with a twist, he manages to shake her grasp and set up a T-Bone suplex - that Heidi escapes from, slips down behind his back, and again starts working for Beautiful Dreamer!  Scott back elbows her before she can sink it, throws a crescent kick that Heidi ducks, Heidi throws a roundhouse at Scott’s head that he ducks, Scott attempts a back drop, Heidi flips out, front dropkick!  Scott hits the ropes with his chest, bounces back, and Heidi - catches him in a kneebar!]

Angus:
What the - What the fuck?!  She actually got a leglock on him!

[Scott freezes, like he’s almost so shocked that she got him that he doesn’t know what to do.]

[Then she cranks the hold.]

[Scott screams in pain.]

DDK:
Heidi’s got a straight kneebar applied on the champion!  

[Scott screams again, and grabs his head.  Benny Doyle, keeping a close eye on things, drops to the mat as Scott’s shoulders touch - but seeing the ref move, he levers himself back up.  Heidi throws herself back, trying to increase the pressure of the hold.]

Angus:
We could be seeing a new champion Keebs!  

[Scott rolls to the side.  The ropes are only inches out of reach.  With a dive, he manages to get them.]

DDK:
Saved by the ropes!  We’re over 20 minutes into this contest, but now Heidi Christenson is in the driver’s seat!  She pulls Scott to his feet, dragonscrew - no!

[Scott hopped in place, and when Heidi tried to execute the dragonscrew, he jumped with the twist and kangaroo kicked Heidi as he went over.  Scott lands rolling and Heidi goes over backwards.]

KA-THWAAAAACK!!

DDK:
Superkick!  Kai Scott with the superkick!

[Heidi hits the mat hard.  Scott stumbles, limping.]

Angus:
Keebs, you think he’s faking that limp or it’s genuine? I know he played injured when he wasn’t really for months, but we know he’s got trouble with that right knee.

DDK:
You really can’t say with the champion, but he’s got Heidi in a bad place right now.  If he’d gone for a cover when he landed that superkick, that might have been it, but he’s pulling her up.

Angus:
Kryptonite coming up!

[Scott butterflys Heidi’s arms and this time, she doesn’t escape.  Scott lifts, spins, and drops her on her face with the Kryptonite.]

ONE..!


...TWO…!


…...THREE…


……...EEEEEE…


………...KICKOUT!!

RRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
RRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

DDK:
SHE KICKED OUT!  Heidi just kicked out of the Kryptonite!

Angus:
He better hope the Zer Soze or the Mad Splash works, then.

DDK:
After seeing the damage that leglock did, I wouldn’t expect to see him try for the Mad Splash.

[Indeed, Scott doesn’t bother looking at the turnbuckle.  He picks Heidi up - and gets small packaged!

ONE…!


...KICKOUT!

[Scott kicks out in one.  As soon as he kicks out he’s just clubbing Heidi on the back and the neck with every forearm he can come up with.  His eyes are wide and glassy.  The champ’s about to lose it.  As soon as Heidi’s not fighting back anymore, Scott lifts her up, sets up the vertical suplex and Heidi knees him in the gut!  Scott’s stunned, Heidi slips free, twists the arm, brings her leg up almost over her own head, then around his neck, and then she snaps them both to the ground with a modified neckbreaker.]

DDK:
XTC!  Heidi hasn’t used that move in years!   And she’s going for the cover!

ONE…!


...TWO…!


…..THREE…


……...EEEEKICKOUT!

DDK:
Not quite enough, but Heidi’s calling for the end now!  Beautiful Dreamer coming up, does Scott have enough left to fight out of it?!

[Heidi slashes both her thumbs across her throat in opposite directions, then twists Scott’s arms around his own neck.  She drags him backwards to the middle of the ring, snaps on the bodyscissors - and she’s got it.]

Angus:
NEW CHAMP!  NEW CHAMP!  SHE’S GOT HIM!!!  I’m not sure if that’s actually a good thing cos she’s batshit but NEW CHAMP!

[Kai Scott screams.  Or tries to.  It’s more of a choking sound.]

DDK:
Beautiful Dreamer has been broken precisely once, by Heidi’s arch-rival Gemma Lockhart on Old Line Wrestling’s “Farewell Fix” card!  Scott’s in the middle of the ring, Heidi’s got the hold completely locked in!  

[Scott kicks his legs.  It doesn’t help.  The only part of either arm he can move is his left wrist.]

Angus:
Watch for that tap, Darren, watch for that tap!

[No tap, but his hand is moving slower.  Heidi leans back, stretching his body, applying more pressure to the neck and shoulders and arms and Beautiful Dreamer pretty much hurts every part of the body above the chest.]

Angus:
HE’S!

[The hand goes limp.  Benny raises it, and it flops back down.]

Angus:
GOING!

[Doyle waves his hand in front of Scott’s face.]

DING!  DING!  DING!

Angus:
OUT!  NEW CHAMP!  NEW CHAMP!  NEEEWWWW CHAAAAAAAMMMPPPP!!!

[Benny Doyle begins pulling on Heidi’s arms, trying to get the hold broken.  Heidi, of course, refuses.]

DDK:
Heidi better watch out, she’ll get the decision reversed if she’s not careful!  Here’s Darren Quimbey, with the decision!

Quimbey:
AS A RESULT OF A TIME LIMIT DRAW…

BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Quimbey:
STILL your Defiance World Champion…

Angus:
NOOOOOOOOO!

Quimbey:
KAI!  SCOTT!

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

DDK:
Angus, I have to admit I agree with these fans!  Heidi Christenson just had that match won, but the time limit expired just in time to save Kai Scott and turn the match into a draw!  Heidi’s demanding more time from Benny Doyle, but I don’t think the champ’s capable of accepting!

[Scott is lying on the mat, face contorted in agony.  Benny Doyle kneels down next to him.]

[More importantly, Heidi stands over him.  No, scratch that.  She sits down right on his chest.]

Angus:
What’s she saying Keebs?!  I can’t hear!

[Benny pulls Heidi up and pushes her to the side.  Heidi cooperates.  Doyle walks to the ropes, and has a quick conversation with Darren Quimbey.]

Quimbey:
Due to agreement from both challenger and champion, the time limit for this title defense has been EXTENDED by TEN MINUTES!  

RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

DDK:
...Scott agreed to let the match restart?

Angus:
Keebs, I don’t know what Heidi said to him when she was fucking sitting on him, but I bet she scared him into it!  And I don’t give a damn!

[Scott gets to his feet.]

[As soon as he does, Heidi bolts at him.]

[Earlier in the match this would’ve been stupid, but Scott’s tired, hurting, and his reflexes are shot.]

[Heidi grabs the flying bodyscissor, floats up into the air, and takes him to the mat with a wakigatame armbar!  Twisting herself almost double, she gets a leg behind Scott’s head, then a leg under it.  The Twisted Triangle is applied - but before she can get it stabilized, Scott rolls through and gets his legs on the ropes.]

[Heidi’s got her second wind, or an adrenaline rush, or both.  She pulls him up all the way to his feet.]

THWAAAAACK!

[Roundhouse kick to the chest!]

THWAAAAACK!

[Roundhouse to the back of the leg!]

THWAAAAACK!

[Roundhouse to the ribs!]

KA-THWAAAAACK!!

[Roundhouse to the head!]

[Scott falls to one knee.]

DDK:
Lethal roundhouse coming up - NO!  He ducked it!

[When all else fails, use fire]

[No wait, wrong genre.  When all else fails, try a spear.]

Angus:
NOOooo!

DDK:
Scott just came up off his knees to spear Heidi!  She took it right on the ribs, doubled over!  Scott setting up the vertical suplex, but Heidi’s trying to fight out of it!]

[Just like last time, Heidi tries to get Scott’s grip loose enough to drop behind him.  Scott can’t get her positioned straight up and down, can’t hit the Zer Soze if he can’t do that, but he can - front suplex her ribs first across the ropes.]

DDK:
Scott using the ring to his advantage!  After that spear, he just draped Heidi over the top rope.  That’s a padded metal cable, landing on it like that hurts - and Scott hasn’t let go of the vertical!

[One, two, THREE front suplexes drop Heidi’s ribs across the top rope.  Scott leaves her folded in half across the top rope, exits the ring.]

Angus:
Not sure what the champ’s setting up here.

[Scott tests the top rope, and then - springboard dropkick!  It connects with the back of Heidi’s head and she falls back into the ring!]

[Possibly more importantly though, Scott clutches his right knee.]

DDK:
I think - Angus, I think maybe between exhaustion and emotional stress, Scott’s beginning to lose the ability to apply his intelligence.  I’ve almost never seen him miscue like trying a springboard move thirty-two minutes into a match on a sore knee.

[Scott drags Heidi towards the turnbuckle, then ascends.  Slowly.]

DDK:
As I said before, I don’t think trying the Mad Splash is a good idea.

[Scott jumps. Not for the Mad Splash though.]

DDK:
SCOTT MISSES WITH THE ULTRAGLIDE!  Kai Scott just attempted Jeff Andrews’ Ultraglide, but Heidi rolled out of the way!

Angus:
Well, at least he didn’t land on his knee.

[Heidi, having been brought back down by those suplexes across the rope, slowly gets behind Scott.]

DDK:
Another Beautiful Dreamer attempt, and there’s no way Scott can survive another one of those!

[Scott is on his feet.  Heidi gets his arms crossed across his throat, but Scott manages to scissor one of Heidi’s legs with his own.]

DDK:
That’ll buy him a few seconds, Heidi can’t get quite as much pressure on Beautiful Dreamer when she’s only using her arms.

[And here’s where you have to pay attention.]

[Gemma Lockhart broke Beautiful Dreamer by spinning in the direction of the first cutthroat.  Having had Beautiful Dreamer countered that way, Heidi knows not to let it happen.]

[But while spinning, Scott gets his legs up on the bottom and then middle rope.  The extra weight means Heidi can’t spin with him, and he slips out.]

DDK:
The champ escapes!  I’m not calling that a full escape of Beautiful Dreamer, but…

[Scott, with Heidi in a sort of sloppy reverse headlock, stands up, and brings her with him as if going for an inverted suplex.  But he freezes as he gets her vertical.]

Angus:
Wait, no.  NO!

WHAAAAAAAAAAM!

[Scott spins Heidi 180 degrees while she’s vertical and drops to his knees in a tombstone.]

DDK:
INVERTED ZER SOZE!

[Scott keels over - on top of the challenger.]

ONE…!


...TWO…!


…...THRE…!


……..EEEE…!


………...EEEE!!!!

DING!  DING!  DING!

Quimbey:
Here is your winner, at a time of 37 minutes and 14 seconds, and STILL Defiance World Heavyweight Champion!  The Ace of Heels!  KAI!  SCOTT!!!

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!


Angus:
He - he beat her.

[Scott pulls himself off of Heidi and sits.  He ignores Doyle raising his hand.]

DDK:
We have a lot of disappointed fans here, but they did get a tremendous match.  And I don’t think anyone’s more surprised at the outcome of this match than Kai Scott himself!

[Scott looks shell shocked.]

[Heidi, who may have been knocked unconscious from the Reverse Zer Soze, which is going to need a better name now that it exists, rolls over and grabs her head.]

DDK:
She threatened to kill him if he cheated, if he ran away, or if she beat him.  She said the only way Scott was going to live through this match was if he could beat her fair and square.  And somehow, somehow… that’s what he did.

[Out come Claira St. Sure and Diane Parker.  Diane takes the World Title from Benny Doyle as Claira kneels down next to Scott.  Meanwhile, Heidi climbs to her knees, and then, very shakily, stands up.  She turns to look at Scott, who’s still sitting.]

Angus:
Moment of truth, Keebs.  Does he live?

[Claira gets in Heidi’s way in case it’s ‘kill’ - but it isn’t.  Heidi smiles a little smile, then nods, then turns and starts to walk away.  She almost stumbles, has to hold herself up with the ropes until she’s steady.]

DDK:
Kai Scott escapes with his belt still around his waist by the skin of his teeth!  There’s nothing else left to say here!  Thanks for watching, Defia-fans, I’m Darren Keebler alongside Angus Skaaland, and we’ll see you in Canada!

[Scott is helped to his feet by the two girls, who then sit on the ropes, holding them apart for him.]

[End.]