[As printed in the New Orleans Trollbloids]

By Kenneth O’Neil

NEW ORLEANS - The lively New Orleans cuddle scene is about to get body slammed as three members of the DEFIANCE roster are set to open “Warm Embrace” - a cuddle focused delivery service with plans to offer on-demand cuddle therapy sessions from trained, certified cuddlers you can order right from an app on your phone which will have weekend specials and GPS locators of cuddlers at all times. Yes! They will do house calls!

App billing will feature discrete payment options so charges will show up as FluffyTown Bedding on credit card statements. This is not to be confused with any kind of under the table exotic business.

It’s not a secret to locals that the hugely popular DEFIANCE wrestling is a cornerstone of the local economy. What’s discussed less often is DEFIANCE’s impact on the local daylife or nightlife. Whether a spot [on the couch] for the wrestlers and fans to unwind after the shows, where DEFIANCE goes, customers are sure to follow.

Three mainstays of the DEFIANCE roster, Malak Garland, Cyrus Bates and Teresa Ames, are looking to cash in on that trend.

“Honestly, we analyzed market trends for a good forty five minutes before deciding that launching a New Orleans based cuddle service was the right call,” Malak told the trollbloid with a wink and smile, “I think people are ready for something different.”

The Comments Section have an apparent fondness for the cuddles, experience with the cuddling atmosphere, and a budding on-and-off screen friendship, so it only makes sense that they’d enter the cuddle game as proprietors with this new venture.

“It’s all for the fans,” an enthusiastic Ames added, “And I’m not talking about just wrestling fans. I’m talking about people who are fans of having a good time. This cuddle service is going to be their safe space.”

The DEF stars are tapping Denny and Tenny Cowalski, two cuddle-masters from Michigan to help with the creation of the cuddle service. While Malak is playing his cards close to his chest with specifics, it sounds like they’ll be releasing brand new information on their socials as time goes on.

“Denny and Tenny are two local legends up in East Lansing. I grew up wishing I could be cuddled like they could,” Cyrus said about the two cuddle-masters. “Swedish, Maltese, Ugandan, you name it and those guys can cuddle that method. It’s unreal.”

In addition to simply cuddling and marketing the service, Warm Embrace will function as an online hangout spot for cuddle enthusiasts to congregate. On DEFtv nights, expect Warm Embrace to run specials on cuddles too.

“If you’re a DEFIANCE megafan and you’re not in the DEFarena for the action, this is going to be the next best thing,” promises Garland, “We’ll bring the action to you.”

Warm Embrace will feature a verified cuddler review system. “We want to ask the consumer, how was your hug today? Itchy? Sticky? Soft? Awkward? Grabby? Calm? Led to something more?” Ames boasted, “People are going to pay premium money for this service either per use or as a member, so it’s important to keep the cuddle community close knit.”

The project is moving quickly, and The Comments Section are optimistic about their first line of cuddlers hitting a neighborhood near you. It surely promises to be a party everyone will be looking forward to.

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