February 18th, 2022

Grewelthorpe, North Yorkshire, England

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.”
-Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Fuck you, Rousseau. You don’t need patience. You need your work visa to get back to DEFIANCE and make Tom Morrow pay for what he’s done to you. 

You should just throw away those stupid self-help books anyway. Or start a fire later. Two birds, stone, as they say. 

Just stay away from your damn email until you hear back from immigration about what’s happening with your new work visa application. 

And STAY AWAY FROM DEFtv. 

Just kill some more time. 

…

You know… like how you’ve been doing the last several weeks. 

Only so much hunting and axe throwing you can really do out here in the middle of nowhere. 

Not many animals since it’s been a rainy February. 

You can mostly hit the bullseye now on your target. 

So what else is there for you to do?

You could go into town for supplies. Firewood’s running low. Maybe a bit more alcohol? Nah, not for another few days, anyway. You ain’t even touched the fancy shite yet. 

Well, go on, then. Have a sit. Collect your thoughts, mate. Nothing better to do right now. 

Your ribs are mostly better now. The concussion has cleared up so medically, anyway, there’s nothing stopping you from doing a few drills in your practice ring. Maybe give Reggie Morgan a ring and see if he’ll stop by and you can get in some reps. 

You’d love to see your old trainer and wring that old sod by the neck. Don’t want you getting rusty now just in case you are able to come back soon. 

…

…Later. 

You sit there and take a minute to listen. 

You REALLY listen.  

You take in nature and why you live out here in the first place in your off time. You overlook the hill your cabin rests on and enjoy nature for what it is… you close your eyes and enjoy the sounds of rain pelting the trees. It’s just as relaxing now as it was at night and you can at least say out of all this… this is the most rested you’ve ever been. 

Do you REALLY want to go back this bad?

The wrestling scene in the UK overall has been pretty steady this last year. Maybe you should go back to that?

Admit it... It’s crossed your mind

You never really liked doing anything for that gutless cunt Morrow anyway. You could tolerate him running his mouth, long as the money was good… and the money was GOOD. Going back to wrestling here… you know it won’t be that kind of money, but you will be able to make some living. People are gonna pay a lot to see The Killer Bear back home. 

…

…

No. 

That’s EXACTLY what Tommy wants. 

You know it. 

He’s probably running his mouth on TV about it like the knob he is. 

…

Don’t do it. Don’t go over to your phone. Don’t go to DEFonDEMAND. Don’t… 

You’re doing it. You’re doing it now. 

Don’t let him do this to you. Focus on something else… eight person tag with Better Future? I bet he’s running his mouth there… Good thing there’s a “find match” feature on here…

Fast forward… fast forward… 

Don’t do this, you arsehole. 

“We’re heading full speed ahead to DEFCON and we’re going to be settling some goddamn scores on the way there! Thanks to us, you’ll never see Jack Mace again in a DEFIANCE ring after he turned his back on me and put his hands on me. Sorry about that work visa of yours, Jackie!”

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

…

CRACK. 

…You gormless prick. You just broke your second phone in a month. 

Well, mate. 

At least now you got that excuse to go back into town that you wanted earlier. 

But get serious for a minute. 

He’s in your head. 

He’s all you can see. 

But you’re halfway across the world. 

And there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it right now. 

You ain’t got any friends in the locker room. Not after all you’ve done for the past year and a half. 

Ain’t no one gonna bail you out, Jackie. 

Just accept defeat. Move on. Screw Morrow.

...

No. 

You don't accept. 

You'll find a way. 

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