Grand Champions League Playoffs 1

It's important to note that the crowd was very excited for Defiance action early in the night, as the Playoffs were about to start. To start things off a pre-show match featuring two new Defiance faces as the "Crescent City Kid" Brad Cummings went toe to toe with "The Shootist" James Sullivan. The hype machine was spinning for both men heading into this one and no one wanted to lose their DEF debut.

[Michel LaLiberte enters to “Your Man” by Down with Webster, taking a long while and visibly favoring his recently dislocated arm. Christopher Barton enters to “Barton Hollow” by The Civil Wars, a look of disgust, anger, and hatred on his face.]

[Pan around the arena full of fans.  Signs everywhere.  People are screaming their fool heads off.  It’s the kind of pandemonium that one would expect from a high-profile wrestling event.]

“Downtown” Darren Keebler: [v/o]
And we are LIVE!

[Sharp cut to Angus Skaaland and “Downtown” Darren Kiebler, standing ringside.  DDK is in a suit, while Angus is in a tux T-shirt and blue jeans.  Both hold their own mic’s.  Behind them fans are going extra nuts trying to get on TV.]

Angus Skaaland:
You think Mother Nature could keep DEFIANCE out of N'awlins forever?  You better think again, motherfuckers!

DDK:
And what a show we have for you today, Angus. Playoffs are in the air, which brings up the intensity that much more.

Angus:
Damn right, Keebs, and tonight, we trade in the complex points system for a concept as simple as it gets...WIN OR GTFO!

[And its here we cut to the playoffs graphic.]

DDK: [v/o]
Four big-time first round matches to start off the docket. The first one is a rematch from Defiance season 3, where Bronson Box...

[The graphic shrinks to half-screen, showing Angus and DDK at the top and the brackets at the bottom.  But as it does, the two boxes around Box and Dewey's headshots flash, highlighting the two grapplers' one-on-one match.  We'll refer to this hereafter as "flashing"]

Angus:
...slaughters a piggy named Eugene tonight.  You saw what Box did to Dragon Jones, and all Jones did was punch him in the dick. Now you're going to put Boxer in the ring with a guy who he’s legit angry at?  I hope the fans ringside brought ponchos...because it's going to rain red all over 'em!

DDK:
Box has begun to let the ultra-violent side of him out a bit more, hospitalizing Dragon Jones last show and promising to do the same to Eugene.  But remember that Dragon Jones actually got the win in that match, and Eugene has pinned Box twice, so anything is possible.

Angus:
Box is gonna kill the nerd.  IN THE FACE!

DDK:
And the winner of that match better have something left in the tank, because they have to come back and face Christian Light in the semis.

[The bracket flashes to highlight The Last Nighthawk as well as Box and Eugene.]

Angus:
You've seen Christian's promos. He's motivated not just because he's repping Team Danger and Eric Dane in this tournament, but because, well, I can't put it any other way: he didn't have the best night at War Games.

DDK:
He was eliminated at War Games, and he was fortunate that Sam Turner Jr has a heart, or Heritage might have lost the match entirely.  Christian is still furious at Ed White and would love to get his hands on The Socialite, but to have any chance at doing that he'll have to get past either Box or Dewey in his semifinal matchup. I tell you, either possible match could main event any show, anywhere.

Angus:
Don't get crazy about it. Box and Light could tear the house down, but if Dewey happens to luck his way into this match, you think he'll be in any shape to compete against a focused Christian Light?

DDK:
He'd be the underdog by a wide margin, but I've learned NEVER to count Eugene out of a match. All it takes is one uppercut and he could be moving to the tournament finals.

Angus:
He better have a handful of quarters if he wants to knock out The Last Nighthawk.

[The bracket flashing moves to Heidi and Dragon Jones.]

DDK:
We mentioned Dragon Jones' condition before...at WarGames, after securing his spot in the playoffs with a small package of Bronson Box, Jones was savagely beaten and hospitalized by Bronson Box

[Someone got a cool still photo of Jones' face, locked in the pipe-assisted Boston Massacre with blood dripping down his face and off his nose.  That displays now instead of the brackets.]

DDK:
We've been told that Jones has somehow been cleared to compete, but he draws a tough matchup against former Defiance World Champion Heidi Christenson.  The winner going up against Jimmy Kort, who jumped up the tables after winning the battle royale on Evolution 8 and eliminating Cito Connari in the War Games match.

[The bracket is back, and now we're flashing on Kort as well Heidi and Box.]

Angus:
I will say this, Heidi better not be looking ahead to a rematch with Jimmy Kort.  She may not have a sack to punch, but I bet THE FIRST has more than one rollup in his arsenal.

DDK:
Heidi's dislike of Kort seems to be a focal point of this block of three, but not in the traditional sense of the word hate. Heidi is using it to motivate her through, and that could be a dangerous combination

Angus:
But if there's anyone who can take advantage of a situation, no matter how bleak, it's Kort.  He's not one of my favorites, but he's gotten it done.

DDK:
Speaking of your favorites, I bet you're looking forward to whatever Cancer Jiles and Edward White have planned for their first round matchup.

[Flash onto the Jiles/White part of the graphic]

Angus:
I'm lovin' the Heritage League bracket, and not just because Elijah Goldman makes tools look cool. Cash Cool in round one, Christian Light in round two. Jiles and White will put on a five star classic that will rival the Team Danger les-beating of Sherry Bell

[A roll of the eyes from DDK.]

DDK:
Well, its a good thing we keep our standards high around here. If you think Cash Cool are going to seriously swing fists at one another, I've got a bridge to sell you.

[More flashy brilliance, this time including Claira St. Sure in the White/Jiles flash.]

DDK:
The only question I have for you is which Cash Cool member's going to move on to fight the Truly Untouchable one, Claira St. Sure. She's basically killed anyone she's been up against aside from Christian Light, but she's never been in the ring with the Cash or the COOL, so there's a tad bit of the unknown on both sides of the field.

Angus:
Ed White is smarter than any two women you can pick in this building, even Claira and Diane. There's no doubt Claira's a made woman in Defiance as far as talent goes, and she's extremely motivated by what Ed White did at War Games, but she better tread carefully against either member of our former Tag Team Champions, or she may find herself wondering what the hell just happened.

[The flashiness shifts to the last first round match, Sloan and Dentari.]

DDK:
Our last first round match features Mike Sloan taking on former Evolution league leader in Alceo Dentari. Alceo enjoyed at least a share of the lead from day one in Evolution, but things fell apart pretty rapidly for him didn't they?

Angus:
God damn right they did. YAZ has been Bizarro YAZ since Dan Ryan powerbombed him through the ramp a few shows back, and then Alceo slips from first to fourth in a matter of one show thanks  to Sam Turner's mid-match turn on Evolution.

DDK:
Now, in order to get a shot at revenge against the big country boy from Bloody Harlan, Alceo will have to jump one huge hurdle in Mike Sloan.  Sloan's been up and down throughout the season, but like Sam Turner, he's one of the few people who can claim that he pinned Alceo Dentari...

Angus:
Let's not exaggerate here. I like Sloan, he's a guy who gets it, but Heidi giftwrapped that pin for him.

[Now the flashiness expands to include Sam Turner Jr.]

DDK:
Maybe so, but there shouldn't be any doubt that Sloan can do it again. He's got the skill and the experience, and the former league leader has been coming up a little...shall we say, short on luck?

Angus:
I wouldn't say it too loudly if you value your kneecaps.

DDK:
And as to the second round match on that side, we know that Alceo can chop anyone he wants down to a level where he can execute the Whacked running kick, but do you think Sloan has the wherewithal to lift Sam Turner Jr for the Morning Star, especially after having a match earlier in the night?

Angus:
I'unno.  Size and retard strength are definitely on Turner's side. But the adrenaline rush of the playoffs can do funny things to a man, AMIRITE??

[The bracket half of the screen fades down until the two commentators are all that's left in the foreground (with a "Where's my pizza, Alceo?" sign in the background.)]

[Cold open on the Cross-Wired Time Bomb, the King of the Bittermen, He Who Once Was Dubbed ‘The Man’.]

[Jeff Andrews.]

[Andrews, much like Kalifornia, is not booked to wrestle.]

[The AWA Kalifornia, not the one that used to hang out with Boston Bancroft.]

[Though technically she’s not booked either.]

[Anyhow, Jeff Andrews is reading a book - “Royal Assassin” is the title of it.  It’s fucking bizarre to watch him do something that makes him so closely resemble a normal person.]

[Something whizzes by his head and splats against the wall.]

[An egg.]

[Andrews turns down the corner of the page he was reading, then sets the book under his chair.]

Andrews:
Hey Cancer.  What can I do for you?

[COOL Cancer Jiles’ eyes are appropriately hidden behind shades most COOL, but he’d probably look damn well baffled.]

[A long.]

[awkward.]

[(insert penguin here)]

[silence.]

COOL Cancer Jiles:
What in the hell is wrong with you, Mongo McButterman?

Jeff Andrews:
What d’you mean?

[Jiles rolls his eyes.]

[You can’t see it through his shades, but somehow, you just KNOW that’s what he did.]

CCJ:
Let’s see.  Ed White making his triumphant return to Defiance to help bring justice to the world of professional wrestling by preventing you from stealing a win over me.  I photoshopped pictures of your wife with three large black men. 

[Andrews says nothing.]

CCJ:
I TRIED TO DROWN YOU IN A BUCKET OF PRE-SCRAMBLED EGGS!

Andrews:
Oh yeah.

CCJ:
‘Oh yeah’?  No wonder you’re a career underachiever if that’s all you’ve got.

Andrews:
Hey, look man.  If it makes you feel better, I still hate you.  But sometimes, y’know, things start happening, and even the Jeffman’s got to keep his face to the wind.  Even if it means temporarily refraining from mutilating his sworn enemies.

[Jiles frowns.]

CCJ:
What things?

Andrews:
Oh, I’ve got no idea, man.  But why would I?  I’m just a retarded hick, right?

[Cancer Jiles is probably literally incapable of admitting Jeff Andrews is anything other than a retarded hick, and he can’t really pursue this conversation without doing so.  Besides, he’s got a match and Andrews is, against all explanation and reason, refusing to be baited into a fight.]

[So he spikes an egg precisely 3½ millimeters from Andrews’ left boot and leaves.]

Cancer Jiles made his way out to the ring first to a predictable disdain from the crowd, and that didn’t change when Edward White made his appearance just a few seconds later. Obviously there was never going to be a favorite in this one by any traditional meaning of the word, and as such the crowd seemed split on who they felt like booing more. That didn’t bother either member of ‘Money For Nothing, COOL For Free’ though. In fact, they seemed to revel in the jeers from the capacity crowd.

Jiles and White circled each other for moment before both extending a hand and giving one another the slightest of respectful handshakes. They soon tied up in the middle of the ring, Jiles went behind quickly but White rushed for the ropes and clung on, forcing a break of the waist lock Cancer had applied.

Jiles raised his hands and backed off without incident to allow White time to turn around, slick back his hair and return to the middle of the ring. Once again they tied up and once again Jiles went behind almost instantly. White tried to rush the ropes again, but Jiles put on the breaks and held him back. White threw an elbow backwards, but Cancer avoided it and took White down with a rear waist lock slam. Jiles floated over, paint-brushed White’s hair and stood back up where he taunted White to join him.

White pounded the canvas in frustration and joined Jiles at a vertical base. Cancer smiled broadly, but that was soon wiped off of his face by a lightning fast slap from White. Jiles checked his mouth, laughed to himself and slapped White right back, with the back of his hand naturally. White retaliated with a right hand, Jiles threw one of his own, another right from White, another from Jiles, then the exchange was cut short after a questionably low kick from White, although Mark Shields signalled it was to the gut.

Jiles pushed Cancer back into a corner and lifted a knee into his midsection. White landed a couple of closed fist punches to knock Jiles down to his butt and landed a couple of stomps to Cancer’s chest. He hit the ropes on the other side of the ring and came back with a facewash boot. Cancer slumped over the bottom rope and almost fell to the outside, but White caught him by the tights and heaved him back into the ring.

Ed brought boots down into whichever limb he could connect with before dropping across Jiles for the cover!

ONE!

Ed lifted his legs up onto the middle rope!

TWO!!

THR-

Mark Shields spotted  White’s legs on the ropes and stopped the fall.

White grabbed Jiles by the neck and pulled him to his feet, he headbutted the king of COOL which knocked Cancer back into the corner. White hooked under Cancer’s arm and stepped from the corner whereupon he took Jiles over with a hip toss. No sooner than Jiles had hit the canvas, White was rebounding off the ropes and dropped a log down across Cancer’s throat.

White opted not to go for another cover and grabbed Cancer by the neck again, he heaved Jiles to his feet but got caught off guard as Jiles rolled him up in a small package!

ONE!

TWO!!

White kicked out!

Cancer rolled to the outside of the ring to gather his bearings as Ed scrambled to his feet. Ever the antagonist, Cancer gave White the old ‘up yours’ gesture and taunted him from ringside. His plan to get White riled up didn’t seem to work though as Ed simply laughed off the goading and invited Jiles back into the ring by holding the ropes open for him. Cancer refused to accept the invitation however and rounded the ring post before sliding back in under the bottom rope.

White left the ropes and headed in towards Jiles, who ducked under the top rope and leant out of the ring. Cancer demanded Mark Shields stop White where he was until he’d reentered the ring.

Now maybe Cancer’s games were starting to frustrate Edward White.

White backed up slightly and gave Jiles enough room to reenter the ring. The two circled for a second before going in for a tie up, this time though Cancer didn’t get the better of the exchange and ended up being pushed back against the ropes by White. Mark Shields stepped in between the two and asked for a break. White lifted his hands and it looked like there would be a clean break.

That was until Jiles put a thumb directly into White’s eyesocket.

White stumbled backwards, blinded momentarily. Jiles threw a knife edge chop, and another, and another to knock White back against the ropes on the other side of the ring. He grabbed Ed by the arm and whipped him across the ring, catching him with a standing vertical dropkick on the rebound. Jiles scrambled in for a cover!

ONE!

TWO!!

White kicked out.

Jiles dug his fingers into White’s eyes and didn’t release until Mark Shields reached four. After breaking the eye gouge he went right back to it again, once more not releasing until the very last second. Jiles grabbed White by the hair and lifted him to his feet where he grabbed him by the head and dropped him with a ‘COOL ever after’ reverse DDT.

Jiles had no interest in pinning White though, instead he headed for the corner and climbed the ropes. Jiles steadied himself on the top turnbuckle before leaping off and bringing an elbow down into the che- NO! White rolled out of the way and Cancer connected with nothing but canvas!

Jiles got back to his feet and tried to shake the pain out of his arm. He turned around to be met with a stiff right hand from White directly to the... ahem... nether region!

Where was Mark Shields? Well his view was obstructed, naturally.

Jiles doubled over and White rose from his knelt position, bringing Cancer up with him draped across his shoulders. The King Of COOL was nothing more than a passenger from that moment on as White dropped him with the Stock Market Drop!

White rolled over and covered Jiles!

ONE!

TWO!!

THREE!!!

Winner: Edward White

[Backstage.]

Dentari comes out first, then Sloan is out next, but before Sloan can get into the ring Dentari lifts a knee as Sloan enters and the battle spills out to the outside.  Dentari goes out and slugs away at Sloan, then hooks him for a DDT, but Dentari makes a mistake yelling at some adolescent who motions that he’s taller than Dentari (what, he was?), and that allowed Sloan to push Dentari off into the ringpost.  Sloan scoops Dentari and rolls him back into the ring, where he also rolls back into the ring.

Dentari begs off, but Sloan will have none of it.  Kick to the chest sends Dentari scrambling into the corner, and Sloan starts to slug Dentari down.  Carla Ferrari, the referee assigned to this scrum, backs Sloan off, but Sloan comes right back in and starts slugging again.  Sloan is backed off a second time, but when he comes back Dentari yanks the trunks and throws Sloan to the middle turnbuckle.  As Sloan starts to rise, Dentari leans on his neck over the middle rope, and choking ensues.  Dentari breaks before DQ, then goes right back to it.  After a second break, Dentari lays down a kidney punch to straighten Sloan up, then socks him in the stomach.  Dentari goes to toss Sloan shoulder-first into the post, but Sloan deadweights, pulls Dentari into a stomach kick, and then DDT’s Dentari down. 

It should be noted for those that don’t know the two men that everything Dentari does gets heat from the crowd, while everything Sloan does gets cheers and screams from the crowd.  It’s clear which one they want to win this match.

Dentari rolls to the ropes, covering up his head, but Sloan won’t give him the break, grabbing him and lifting him to his feet.  Sloan brings him into a Russian Leg Sweep and hits it clean, floating over for the cover, but Sloan barely gets two as Dentari slips out of the pin and ring.  Sloan goes to follow, but Carla Fererra holds him back and begins the count.  Dentari starts to stall, rolling in and out at 7, and it;s all Mike Sloan can do to stay calm.  Finally after Dentari rolls in and out again, Sloan slides under the ring and gives chase around the ring.  Dentari rolls in first, Sloan follows, and Dentari is on him with an elbow drop.  Then he drops a knee to the back of Sloan’s head.  Then he starts to stomp on Sloan until Carly backs him off.  And back on him again, Dentari grabs Sloan and chucks him into the corner ringpost between the middle and the top rope, with Sloan’s shoulder bouncing off the steel.

Back out of the corner Sloan is pulled, and his arm is wrapped around the middle rope and pulled, hyperextending the shoulder.  Carla counts, and Dentari breaks at 4.9999.  Sloan takes a swing with his good arm, which connects, but Dentari comes back with a dropkick to the chest, sending Sloan sprawling.  And back to the arm twist in the ropes, which nets another 4 count.  Dentari pulls Sloan out of his corner, drags him to the middle of the ring, and hits his patented STO Backbreaker to Complete Shot combo, which nets a close two count.

More stomps to the shoulder of Sloan before locking in a Buffalo sleeper hold.  Carla checks, but no way Sloan’s giving.  Dentari cups his hand over Sloan’s nose and mouth while shouting “HAVING TROUBLE BREATHIN’ OLD MAN?” and breaking the suffocation at the 4 count.  Sloan fights his way to his feet, then elbows Dentari in the chest once...twice...Dentari goes for the grab of the hair, but Sloan smacks his hand away and socks him in the mouth.  Sloan runs out...THESZ PRESS!  He’s got the cover, but Carla only counts two.  Dentari immediately cuts off any further rally with a running Kitchen Sink, taking down Sloan.  And it’s back to the Buffalo sleeper, tweaking the arm and neck of Sloan.  The fans begin their rally cheer, and Sloan once again climbs to his feet.  After another elbow to the chest, Sloan begins to spin while still in the hold...and after a full turn, it works...Sloan is out of the hold, and Dentari is in front of him, back turned.  Perfect time for a school boy, but only gets a close two.  Dentari runs at Sloan...and eats a T-Bone Suplex!  Both men are down, and Carly begins the count.

Both Dentari and Sloan are on their knees facing each other when Dentari swings a right hand.  Sloan retaliates.  And the two start exchanging punches on their knees until Sloan manages to land three quick punches in succession, knocking Dentari for a loop.  Sloan is up, and he pulls Dentari to the ropes.  Whipping him across, he treats Dentari to a boot to the gut on the return.  Hitting the opposite ropes, Sloan comes back with a knee lift to the head, taking Dentari down.  Cover, gets two.  Dentari tries to crawl away, but Sloan catches him by the back of the pants.  Sloan hooks the legs up....and DRILLS HIM with a Wheelbarrow suplex.  Cover by Sloan...almost gets it!

Sloan pulls Dentari up almost immediately, and hooks him for the Morning Star, but Dentari desperately drops elbows to the back of Sloan’s head until he lets go of the hold.  Sloan falls to one knee...SHINING WIZARD by Dentari!  Cover!  But only gets two.

Dentari rolls to his side, back to Ferrari, and reaches into his trunks.  Carly is checking on Sloan, but when she turns back, she catches Dentari slipping knucks on his hand.  Ferrari immediately threatens to disqualify Dentari.  Alceo relents, extending his hand and allowing her to remove the knucks.  But when she turns her back to Dentari, and Sloan is charging for the big lariat, Dentari throws powder into his eyes, then hits him hard with a right hand that drops Sloan out of sheer surprise.  Rolling Sloan into a cradle, Dentari waits for Ferrari to start her count before he puts both feet on the middle ropes to get the extra leverage needed to secure the victory.

As Dentari leaves and “Ain’t That A Kick In The Head” plays, Sloan is left trying to clean out his eyes while Ferrari checks on him.

[Elijah Goldman is wracked with misery.]

[Eugene Dewey’s Punch-Out Bike Theme hits.]

[Christian Light had been stretching, working the abs to avoid cramping. With all the heavy lifting of his various big moves, and the fact that his opponent would be Bronson Box or Eugene Dewey... He needed to stay limber.]

DDK:
Coming up in just a moment we’re going to have our final Playoffs Wildcard match, with Lord Dragon Jones the first...

[Fade up to: Heidi Christenson.]

DDK:
Doesn’t matter now, though, as it’s  time to get into our first Quarter-Final matchup with “The Sophisticate” Edward White taking on what could best be summed up as a pissed off Claira St. Sure!

Angus:
I don’t even know if pissed off is exactly the right adjective. What I do know is that Edward White is smarter than even he lets on, and if anybody can use Claira’s anger against her, it’ll be him.

["Chasing Sheep is Best Left to Shepherds" by Michael Nyman hit the PA and that could only mean one thing. It was time for the first quarter final match of the playoffs, and as it was a Heritage match, time to find out who would be the first guaranteed competitor in the Masters Of Wrestling final.]

[Edward White made his way through the curtain and down to the ring, his eyes were still red from having had Cancer Jiles’ nails dug into them numerous times earlier in the evening, but other than that he looked ready to go. A good thing too, as out next came his opponent.]

Angus:
White looks ready for war.

["Death Threat" by Death in Vegas hit and Claira St. Sure, along with Diane Parker walked out onto the stage. Claira didn’t take her eyes off of White as she stomped down ramp, she accelerated as she neared the ring, breaking into a run just before sliding into the ring under the bottom rope. She didn’t wait for the bell and made a beeline for White.]

DDK:
Good, because here comes Operation Claira and she’s got a Precision Strike on mind if her mannerisms here tonight is anything to go by!

Angus:
Notice that Kai Scott’s still out with the back injury he suffered at the hands of Truly Untouchables turncoat Jonny Booya - who, incidentally, signed his release as soon as the regular season ended.

[The Socialite threw a right hand which was ducked by St. Sure. Claira spun quickly and lifted a right roundhouse kick into White’s jaw that stunned the richest man alive. Claira followed up with a stiff kick to White’s elbow and then to the side of his knee, which looked like it buckled, before lifted a knee of her own into White’s jaw as he began to crumple to the mat.]

Angus:
Jesus!

DDK:
I told you, precision strike.

[Claira looked down at White as the crowd exploded and probably contemplated covering him for half a second. But she decided against it, clearly preferring the option of inflicting more punishment and more suffering on the man that succeeded in sending her to the hospital when he tried to end her career on their last time out.]

[St Sure. took hold of White’s arm, the one she’d kicked moments before and rolled him over onto his stomach with it. One quick twist later and she had his arm wrapped around her leg in an Omoplata! Being rolled over must have woken White up, because he howled in pain as Claira cranked on his arm. White’s legs flailed wildly and he tried to reach out for the ropes but there were none in sight. Surely this wouldn’t be over so quickly?]

DDK:
And now White is in trouble!

Angus:
This is where Claira gets dangerous, Keebs, when she’s on the mat where everyone is the same size! White had better get his ass up and figure out how to use some of the resources available to him or he’s gonna be on the outside looking in when it comes Finals time!

DDK:
Well I’ll be, Angus, you’re starting to sound like an honest to goodness by God match commentator!

[...]

Angus:
Shutup. Fag.

[Well, it wasn’t. White managed to gain some measure of composure, just enough to push his knees under himself and alleviate some of the pressure on his arm. White turned slowly and to force Claira onto her side and slipped his arm free. Sure White may not have much of a ground game, but he’s got 90 lbs on the girl, that’s got to count for something, right?]

[Claira wasn’t giving up that easily though and scrambled for White’s arm again. She managed to grab hold of it, but White had done some scrambling of his own and locked his ankles around the bottom rope. Claira had no choice but to release her hold on White’s wrist when Benny Doyle reached a count of three.]

DDK:
Looks like Ed White was listening to you.

Angus:
Of course he was. I’m a genius.

[White quickly tucked himself into a ball and rolled out of the ring. After dropping to the floor he took a step and almost lost his leg from under him, that kick might have done a little more damage than one may have initially thought.]

[White looked back into the ring, where Claira was being pushed back from the ropes by Benny Doyle after she’d tried to chase Edward to the outside, and did that familiar, ‘to hell with this’ gesture. You know the one, where it looks like he’s brushing something to side with an exhausted look on his face?]

DDK:
White is walking away from the playoffs?

Angus:
Don’t believe the hype.

[White started making his way to the ramp, using the apron for support, but soon stopped as he noticed Diane Parker standing guard at the ring post with a familiar looking metal rod in her hands. White spun on the spot, eager to avoid any confrontation with another member of the Truly Untouchables and made his way back in the other direction.]

[He didn’t get far though. As he turned he came face to face with Claira St. Sure who delivered a push kick to White’s gut, which stopped him dead. Claira grabbed White by the neck and spun around quickly, sending him forwards, shoulder first, into the ring post. White’s arm wrapped around the steel and he fell to one knee, coming to rest with his chin on the ring apron. Claira didn’t leave him there for long though, and kicked out again, connecting with White’s arm and crushing it between her educated foot and the ring post.]

DDK:
Claira is getting surgical at this point, she’s decimating that arm!

[Claira grabbed White by the tights and neck and pushed him up under the bottom rope. She didn’t push him all the way into the ring though, purely so that she could raise his arm up a couple of times and bring it down across the apron!]

Angus:
Good LAWRD that had to hurt!

[White rolled away from St, Sure as she grabbed hold of the bottom rope and pulled herself into the ring. Claira stepped through the ropes and advanced on White who, with his assaulted arm clutched tight to his body, held the other and begged for a breather.]

Claira was in no mood to agree to the proposed break and kicked out at White’s arm once again. Edward fell back to his ass and tried to slide away from Claira, but she lashed out with a kick to White’s chest and knocked him down to his back. Seamlessly, Claira dropped down to her backside and grabbed hold of White’s arm again, this time looking to lock him in a cross armbar. White locked his hands as soon as Claira grabbed at his arm though and refused to let go.

DDK:
White trying to counter!

Angus:
He’d better, or she’s gonna rip his arm off!

[Claira hit out at White’s elbow, but Edward dug deep and fought through the pain. Claira then lifted her leg and brought it down with a heel kick to White’s neck and jaw, still Edward wouldn’t unclench his hands. They two struggled for a few moments, Claira continually raining strikes from every which way to the elbow of White and Edward in turn weathering them like his life depended on it.]

DDK:
White’s making a go of it!

[Claira could have been accused of suffering from tunnel vision though as she refused to give up on locking in the armbar fully, and that worked against her as White mustered the strength to roll over and work Claira’s shoulder to the mat for a pin!]

ONE!

TWO!!

[Claira released the hold and rolled out from under White!]

Angus:
White almost got away with one there!

DDK:
The Sophisticate needs to string together some offense here!

[She quickly spun on one knee to face White, who ceased whatever it was he had planned and stepped back a couple of paces. Claira didn’t take her eyes off of Edward as she got to her feet, and White backed up as far as he could until he found himself literally backed into a corner. Whether or not St. Sure smiled, the flicker of whatever it was disappeared in a millisecond before she charged in with a running step up knee!]

[White ducked as Claira left the ground though, and narrowly avoided another knee to his jaw. Before Claira could turn around this time though, White spun, grabbed her by the shorts and pulled her off the second rope with as much strength as he could manage. Claira crashed down to the mat hard and the back of her head bounced off of the canvas.]

DDK:
And Edward White using his sense of ring awareness to his advantage.  There’s no love lost but he’s not fighting for blood like Claira is.

[White clutched at his bad arm again as he collapsed back against the ropes, he sat on the middle rope as he tried to regain his breath, but he didn’t have long until Claira was stirring. She rolled over onto all fours and felt the back of her head, probably checking for blood. There wasn’t anyway, but how was she to know? Claira groggily shook her head as White stood up from the ropes and stomped down onto her hand. Claira balled up her fingers in pain as White stomped down on the other hand. Edward stalked around Claira, still clutching his arm and stomped down onto each of her legs.]

Angus:
That’s the best way to stop a quicker, faster wrestler.  Get those limbs sore and numb.

[Satisfied that the threats from Claira’s limbs were neutralized for the time being, White used his good arm to grab her by the shorts and pulled her to her feet. He lifted a hard knee into her midsection before locking in a side headlock. He wrenched on the neck a couple of times, but with the pain in his arm he couldn’t hold her for long. Before St. Sure could break free White took a step forward and dropped her face first to the mat with a bulldog]

[Edwards got back to his feet and stalked around Claira, who tried to push herself to her knees. She got a little way there before White soccer kicked her right in the abdomen. Claira rolled onto her side and clutched at her gut, only for White to kick out again, one again right into the midsection. Claira tried to roll away, but White followed her just as quickly and kicked her again.]

DDK:
Oh come on now!

Angus:
Hey,  I actually kinda like CSS, but what White’s doing in there ain’t illegal.

[Claira knew she had to change tactics and tried to catch White’s foot on the last kick, but he used the sole of his other foot to scrape across her face and forced her to release her grip. White knew better than to get too close to St. Sure, but he didn’t have much of a choice right now and dropped to his knees so as he could use his good arm to land hammerfist blows wherever he could on the downed Jamaican.]

DDK:
White, doing the best he can with only one wing.

[Claira covered herself up as best she could and avoided too many shots to the head, but White’s hammerfists managed to connect plenty of times with Claira’s body and arms. Not wanting to spend too long on the ground with a fighter as competent as Claira though, White grabbed her by the hair and pulled her to her feet. He pushed her to the corner of the ring and Claira stumbled forwards chest first into the turnbuckle.]

[White followed her in with a knee to the spine, then another and another. White again grabbed Claira by the hair, pounded her head into the turnbuckle a few times and delivered a headbutt to the back of her head. He pulled her out of the corner and delivered a side russian leg sweep, which clearly hurt his own arm as he fell. Again, Claira’s head bounced off the canvas, only this time White covered.]

[He couldn’t hook the leg, but he did put his own feet on the bottom rope!]

ONE!

TWO!!

Claira kicked out!

DDK:
White trying to steal one there and Claira still had the wherewithal to kick out of it.  

Angus:
Hey, can you imagine how mad she’d be if White actually got away with stealing this from her?  Y’know, after backstabbing her at War Games and everything.

[White looked at Benny Doyle, frustrated with the speed of the count, but he was having none of it and so White continued the trend of controlling Claira by her dreadlocks by grabbing a handful of hair again. He pulled St. Sure to her feet and pushed her into the corner once again. This time Claira turned before she got there, so her chest wasn’t taking the impact of the turnbuckle again.]

[White followed her in and ducked a right hand as she lashed out at him. He raised a knee into Claira’s abdomen and grabbed her by the hair again, pulling it back so that her head was over the ropes. Claira kicked at White’s other arm, the injured one, and broke his grip. St. Sure rallied with kicks to White’s legs and rights and lefts to his jaw. She looked about ready to land another kick to his arm when White stuck out his hand and jammed a thumb deep into her eye socket.]

DDK:
Ed White, desperate not to get back on the receiving end of the punishment.

[Claira, blinded by the thumb, swung wildly in an attempt fend off White, but he wasn’t there to be fended off. He’d dropped to his back and rolled to the outside of the ring, grabbing Claira’s ankle as he went. One tug later and Claira fell to the mat, her chin bounced off the canvas and White dragged her to the ringpost, making sure her legs were placed either side of the steel. White swung St. Sure’s leg out to the side and brought it back, wrapping it around the post. Claira pulled herself away from the corner and rolled over onto her back. White reached into the ring and grabbed Claira’s ankle again, he dragged her back to the post and tried to wrap her leg around the steel again, but Claira pulled Edward in before he could, forcing his shoulder to collide with the post once more.]

Angus:
No give in that steel.  None at all.

[White slumped to one knee again and grabbed hold of his arm, Claira meanwhile dragged herself back into the ring and tried to stretch the pain out of her knee. White had already been in this situation though, and knew he had to move away from the post as quickly as possible, he was hurting, but he still knew Claira wouldn’t be down for long. White slid his way along the apron and tried to catch his breath. He didn’t get much of a chance though as his fears came true in the form of Claira St. Sure reaching through the ropes and grabbing him by the hair.]

[White turned and climbed up onto the apron in an attempt to stop his hair from being pulled out at the roots and tried to pry Claira’s fingers apart. Once she had him on the apron thought Claira released her grip and threw a kick through the ropes that connected with the ribs of Eddy White. With White winded Claira grabbed his arm, the injured one, and wrapped it around the top rope. Claira wrenched on the arm as Doyle counted to four and broke the hold just before the five.]

DDK:
That’s not a legal hold, but as Claira, Diane and Kai Scott alike have said, just because the Truly Untouchables are fighting on the side of good, does not mean that they’re not willing to bend the rules a bit.

Angus:
She’s been on that elbow like flies on a dog turd in July all match too, it’s got to be having an effect.

[White tried to drop back to the outside, but barely managed to get his arm untangled from the ropes before Claira grabbed him by the wrist again and dragged him into the ring. She controlled White by the arm and tried to force him down to the mat with it, but White dug deep and fought back. He stomped on Claira’s toes, the only thing he could do in the situation, and threw a right hand.]

[[It’s intended location was probably more out of habit than anything else, as it caught Claira right in the crotch. Yeah, that’s right, White tried the cockpunch, only there was no cock to hit.]

[Claira still felt it though, and released her hold on White’s arm. Edward didn’t hang around to check on her though and hoisted her up on his shoulders, much the same way as he did to Cancer Jiles earlier in the evening.]

[Whether it was because the cockpunch didn’t have the impact it did on Jiles or because of White’s weakened arm, he couldn’t hold Claira up, and she slipped down behind him. Once again St. Sure grabbed White’s arm and this time succeeded in dragging him down to the mat.]

Claira wasted no time in locking in the Truly Untouchabreaker and White wasted no time in tapping out.

Winner: Claira St. Sure

[Claira probably left the hold on a little longer than was necessary, and wrenched on it a couple of times after the bell, but who could blame her after what happened in the WarGames match? She finally released it as Diane Parker joined her in the ring and her arm was raised by Benny Doyle.]

[We have our first finalist.]

[When we last saw Heidi Christenson, she had just stormed out of her dressing room and off down a hallway.]

[The acoustic strains of “A Country Boy Can Survive” blare over the speakers, and out from the back strides Sam Turner Junior, looking like a lighthouse with muttonchops.]

Angus:
Sam Turner Junior should be a lot more nervous than he actually is. The man turned his back on Evolution!

DDK:
The man did what was right.

[And the man running out from the backstage area has a serious bone to pick. The bell hadn’t rung yet, nobody was in the ring. So the steel pipe gleaming in his hand is totally legal. In the mean hallways of DEFIANCE, he who was strongest was in charge. That’s why the bosses had Security.]

[So Dentari rushes up behind Turner, target that knee for an extra to-hit bonus, and goes all Harding on it.]

WHACK WHACK KER-WHACKEN

DDK:
Turner is down!

[Dentari grabs Turner’s ankle, lifting the leg up for an extra two shots-

WHACK WHACK

-to the back of the knee!]

Angus:
Dentari has just won himself this match.

[The Mafioso grabs Turner’s ankle under one arm, and drags the bulky body down the ring ramp, regularly throwing kicks to the back of it as he hauled. Nasty twists and shakes, too. Just to make sure Dentari was holding onto the advantage.]

[Dentari tosses the steel pipe down, and drops Turner’s leg to the mat. A hand roughly slaps the John Deere baseball cap off Turner’s head, then the other grabbed a fistful of hair.]

Angus:
Dentari’s looking focused. Maybe the killer instinct I’ve been waiting for him to really embrace is finally here!

DDK:
You’re a Dentari fan?

Angus:
I’m a violence fan.

[Turner is rolled into the ring, and Dentari follows. The ref frantically signals for the bell, marking the official start of the match. No more steel pipes...]

[Dentari beckons Turner up, the big lunk trying to push up onto only one leg with great difficulty. A bit of weight ends up on the bad knee, and Turner buckles, dropping down to one knee.]

[Dentari just grins, and shoots a testing kick into Turner’s side, smacking the big man in the bicep. Turner glares balefully up at Alceo, before boiling up to his full height, towering over Dentari. The one thing guaranteed to set Dentari off.]

[Turner goes for a grab. Dentari drops to his ass... And slams both feet into the big man’s already-damaged leg! Turner collapses, and Dentari grabs that foot’s ankle, quickly turning and wrapping it around one of his own for a spinning toehold!]

DDK:
I’m honestly surprised that Dentari would know such an old hold!

Angus:
Dentari probably had some old I-tai jobber teach him a few hot new moves from 1978.

[Turner manages to get a leg up, and shoves Dentari off, to the ropes! As Dentari hits them and comes back, still off-balance, Turner boils to his feet and CLAPS a hand around Dentari’s throat!]

Angus:
CHOKESLAM! CHOKESLAM, YES!

DDK:
You’re on Turner’s side?

Angus:
I wanna see a chokeslam!

[Dentari fights and thrashes, kicks and wiggles, trying to get free. But even on one leg, Dentari manages to haul Alceo AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL the way up...]

Pause for effect, and for photography. Flashes go off from a thousand cameras and cell phones.]

WHUMPF!

DDK:
Turner covers!

Angus:
Chokeslams rule!

ONE!

TWO!

DDK:
Dentari kicks out with authority at two!

[Winded or not, Dentari’s pride wouldn’t let him go down like that. Instead, as Turner sits back on his heels, Dentari forces himself to leap at Sam, smashing a forearm into Turner’s face! Dentari lays atop Dentari for a good few moments, grinding that forearm into the redneck’s head.]

Angus:
Jeez, listen to Turner scream! Dentari’s gotta have a razor or something!

[Indeed, when Dentari rolls away, Turner’s face is a bloody mess, and Dentari rolls straight out of the ring. For a “breather”. Or to hide the blade.]

DDK:
Carla Ferrari is NOT willing to let that one go!

Angus:
Do ya think she could take Dentari?

[Ferrari follows Dentari out of the ring, and the Mafioso immediately pleads innocense.]

Alceo Dentari:
I got no idea why he’s bleedin’! Maybe he’s on them blood thinners, to keep from dyin’ like that Duncan ‘yam!

[Ferrari has a finger in Dentari’s face, warning him, and so Alceo doesn’t even notice Sam Turner, looming to his full height in the ring.]

RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Dentari:
So why don’tcha get yer finger outta my face, and go back to th’ kitchen, ya split!

[Turner grabs ahold of Dentari’s hair, and pulls Dentari off the ground with both hands.]

Angus:
Listen to Dentari scream!

[Turner lifts Dentari up, turns him around, and pulls him onto the apron, a hand clapping around Dentari’s neck once more.]

Turner:
YOU THINK YOU KIN CUT ME AN’ GET ‘WAY WIDDIT?!

[Turner goes to lift Dentari into the ring, but Dentari just lets go of the apron and drops, grabbing Turner’s head as he falls! Turner lands neckfirst across the ring ropes, and Dentari lands on the mat at ringside!]

Dentari:
AS A MATTER O’ FACT, I DO!

[Dentari reaches into the ring, grabbing one of the bulky man’s knees and dragging him over to the ring corner. Dentari hauls mightily, and Turner slams, junk-first, into the steel post!]

DDK:
The nutcracker!

Angus:
That’s gotta tickle!

[Dentari wraps one leg around the ringpost, steps up to interlace his leg, then climbs fully up onto the post, hanging from Turner’s beefy legs!]

Angus:
FIGURE FOUR! THAT’S A FIGURE FOUR AROUND THE RINGPOST! Dentari knows how to do all the most fun spots, I’ll say that for him!

DDK:
A highly illegal move, of course!

[Ferrari was already out of the ring, so came over to begin to count Dentari.]

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

FIVE!

Ferrari:
Break the hold, Dentari!

Dentari:
DIS IS OUTSIDE DA RING! THERE’S NO ROPE BREAKS ON TH’ FLOOR!

Ferrari:
Turner’s holding the ropes, Alceo! Break the hold!

Dentari:
Or what?!

Ferrari:
I’ll disqualify you! Break the hold! NOW!

[Begrudgingly, Alceo let go... A full five-or-ten-count longer than he previously had. Turner’s face is an ashen mask of pain, and as Dentari let go of his leg, Turner rolls away from the ring corner.]

[Dentari climbs up onto the apron, then points to the turnbuckles, grinning. He looked out to the crowd, then reaches down, slapping one leg.]

Dentari:
SUPER WHACKED!

[And Dentari begins to climb up the turnbuckles.]

Angus:
Does Dentari ever go to the top?

DDK:
No, not really.

Angus:
This’ll be good!

[After squaring himself on the top rope, Dentari crouches, aiming up at Turner. The hillbilly slowly rises to his feet, basically unable to put weight on one leg. As he turns, Dentari gets set...]

[And Dentari leaps from the top rope, trying for a Super Mafia Kick!. Leaving the ground was always going to end up badly for the inexperienced, as Sam Turner Jr. catches him, and hauls Dentari’s stomach in to meet Turner’s shoulder! The arms cinch in tight, and Turner is squeezing Dentari like a tube of glue!]

DDK:
Bear hug! Turner could crush the air right out of Dentari’s lungs!

[Sam cinches in tight, crushing at Dentari’s ribs, and Dentari just HOWLS...]

Angus:
I heard if you do a bear hug hard enough, people make a sound like a rubber duckie!

[Ferrari comes up, checking to see if Dentari submits... But in his flailing, Dentari cracks Carla right in the jaw, then smashes an elbow into Turner’s forehead!]

Angus:
REF BUUUUUUUUUUUUUMP!

[The impact of the blow to Ferrari’s face sends her tumbling to the outside. Dentari manages to get a kick off into Turner’s weak knee, and Turner drops, letting go of Alceo!]

[Turner hobbles to the ring ropes before collapsing to his knees, chest leaning against the middle rope. A hand reaches for the fallen Ferrari, but Dentari wasn’t gonna let Turner rest! First, Dentari socks Turner right in the kidney!]

Angus:
More people should embrace the kidney punch!

[Sam arches his back in pain and Dentari jumps up, wrapping his arms around STJ’s neck in a choke! Turner grabs at the ropes, but Dentari leans back, pulling Turner off balance, stumbling back to the center of the ring!]

[Alceo wraps his legs around Sam’s waist, jerking at Turner’s neck as he strangled and Sleeper’d, trying to pull him down to the mat, but Turner is just too strong to go down!]

[As it turns out, taking his legs off of the ground is the worst thing Dentari could do. Sam could now move where he pleased!]

Angus:
Watch the ring corner, Darren!

DDK:
Why?

Angus:
REVERSE AVALANCHE INTO IT!

WHUMPF!

DDK:
The whole ring moved!

[Turner charges backwards to squash Alceo between himself and the turnbuckle! Alceo bonelessly lets go, sliding downwards in the ring corner! The Wise Guy was limp, and Turner stumble-hobbled forward, fists clenching!]

Angus:
Turner’s channeling the South! He’s gonna Rise Again! Dick joke!

DDK:
What?

Angus:
I get paid by the second of speaking. Watermelon.

[Dentari doesn’t have any time to catch his breath, ‘cuz Sam spins around, clocking Alceo with a haymaker! Left hook! Right cross! Stomach punch! AAAAAAAAND... HEADBUTT!]

DDK:
Dentari’s out on his feet!

[Turner turns, bending Dentari off as he moves, and shoves Dentari’s head between his legs!]

Angus:
If he’s not out yet, he’s about to be!

[DENTARI UP!]

WHOOMP!

[DENTARI DOWN!]

[Sam drops over Dentari for the cover!]

DDK:
Where’s Carla?

[But there’s no referee to make the call!]

[Sam looks around for Carla, who is still on the floor at ringside clutching her head. Turner didn’t have the right angle, couldn’t see her. Another thing he can’t see is a foot coming down and connecting with the back of his head.]

[Two men had just jumped the barricade and slid into the ring. The first, the man who was kicking the shit out of Turner, stands just over six foot or there about. He wears a leather jacket over a black tee-shirt a pair of black jeans, and a pissed-off expression. His black hair was slicked back, much like Dentari’s, but not as close to his head.]

[The second guy followed in slightly behind the first, and that was understandable, judging by the size of him. Although he was wearing a dark colored, either black or navy blue, tracksuit, he didn’t look like he ever spent much time on a treadmill. He stands at well over six and a half feet tall, and had to be over 350 pounds. The fatsy has a receding hairline, and what little hair he did have on the top of his head was very, very thin.]

Angus:
Fat Shit’s out of breath already!

DDK:
REFEREE! GET SHIELDS OUT HERE!

[The first man grabs Turner, and bodily hauls him to his feet! Ignoring Turner’s damaged leg, the big guy shoves Turner at the fat guy!]

Angus:
FAT HOLE SLAM!

DDK:
NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN

[The two don’t give Turner a moment’s respite, and haul Turner back up! The first guy locks in a full nelson, and drops forward into the facebuster!]

DDK:
Breakdown!

Angus:
Nobody calls it that!

[With Dentari beginning to move, the big guy keeps Turner down, punching the hillbilly in the back of the head, over and over and over! The fat guy heads to his boss, helping him up.]

Angus:
Hey, know what was a good movie? Goodfellas. GO GET YOUR FUCKIN’ SHINE BOX, TURNER!

DDK:
Turner’s about to be the victim of a mob hit!

[Dentari, once recomposed, shakes off the cobwebs and shouts something. The big guy shoves Turner at the Boss, who rushes in and LEAPS...]

KERRACK!

Angus:
Whacked!

DDK:
Turner’s done!

[Sam Turner Jr. goes limp as two goons climb out of the ring. With Dentari directing traffic, the men pick Carla up, and toss her gently back into the ring.]

[Dentari slowly, exhaustedly rolls Turner over, hamming it up as Ferrari comes to.]

[Dentari pounds the mat, Carla realizes the pin, and begins to count.]

ONE!

[The two guys at ringside shout at Carla to count faster!]

TWO!!

[Dentari pounds the mat again!]

THREE!!!

[No sooner had the bell rung than the two big men were jumping back into the ring and laying boots into Sam Turner Jr. once again. Dentari omitted celebrating his victory to land a few select stomps of his own.]

[The sludgy bass and droning vocals of Kyuss and “Writhe” begin to play, and Heidi Christenson quickly appears at the top of the ramp.  She raises one fist as she walks, and tags the outstretched hands of the guardrail leaning fans.]

DDK:
Heidi’s making her entrance to her Hydra-era theme song, and on the heels of her attack on Jimmy Kort I have to think that’s of significance.  On the other hand, she’s still playing to the fans, and still, for the most part, getting cheered.

Angus:
In Heidi’s book, she’s doing bad things to people who deserve it, and Jimmy Kort deserves it for selling out to Elijah Goldman.

♫ Won’t you writhe ♫
♫ Like snakes down on the floor ♫
♫ Out you go ♫
♫ And he done one hundred and more ♫

[Writhe cuts.]

[And “Hillbilly Deluxe” cuts on.]

[But there is no Jimmy Kort.]

DDK:
Do you think maybe Jimmy’s knee is too badly hurt for him to even make it out?  Fans, if you didn’t see earlier, Heidi Christenson slammed a door on Kort’s knee before the match.

Angus:
I think he’ll make it out, but I dunno.  Maybe his tough guy thing is as much of an act as Heidi says it is.

♫ Hillbilly deluxe, slick pickup trucks ♫
♫ Big timin’ in a small town ♫
♫ Stirrin’ it up, right about sundown ♫
♫ Black denim and chrome to the bone ♫
♫ With a little home grown ♫
♫ And a country girl cuddled up ♫
♫ Hillbilly Deluxe ♫

[Just as the fans are starting to get restless and irritated, Jimmy Kort limps out.]

[Katie Lynn Johnson is right next to him, begging him not to risk it, but Kort’s not listening.  He’s got a death gaze locked on the ring and the woman in it.]

DDK:
Fans, Jimmy Kort IS out here to wrestle, but the question is, is he capable of wrestling the likes of Heidi Christenson in this condition?  We’re going to find out in...

[Heidi doesn’t waste a split second.  The minute Kort’s in range, she darts forward, front flips over the top rope and wipes out Kort AND Katie Lynn with a no hands tope con hilo!]

Angus:
Oh, SNAP!

[Heidi doesn’t waste any time doing things like playing to the fans.  She doesn’t even bother taking further notice of Katie Lynn.  She pulled Kort up to his feet, slipped the full nelson on, and dragon suplexed him on the ringside mats!]

DDK:
Good Lord.  She’s won matches with that dragon suplex, and Kort just took it on the ringside pads.

[Now Kort is fed back into the ring, and Heidi gives him a full on close range roundhouse kick to the chin.  Kort flopped over onto his back and Heidi synched in the tightest cradle she could manage.]

ONE!


...TWO...!


…...KICKOUT!

Angus:
Well.  I honestly didn’t think that was going to happen.

[Heidi grabs Kort by the ankle, but in a desperation move, Kort pushes himself off the mat and push-kicks Heidi off and back into the turnbuckle!  Her back hits hard and as she stumbles out Kort takes her over in an inside cradle!  Heidi’s out in 1, and she gets up, but Kort from his knees knocks her back with a knife edge chop!  Heidi stumbles but shakes it off and moves back in, but Kort this time hits a headbutt to the midsection, uses Heidi’s shoulders to climb to his feet and takes her over in a teardrop suplex!]

DDK:
There’s a lot of anger behind this match. Heidi has won three World Titles. Jimmy Kort has two victories over Heidi, but no World Titles.  According to Kort, this proves that Heidi was never anything ‘special’ and according to Heidi it proves that she failed to take Kort seriously and that his wins mean nothing.  Heidi already wrestled once against Dragon Jones, the match was much tougher than most would have anticipated, and possibly inspired by that she attacked Kort backstage.

Angus:
Jesus christ, Heidi’s mad that Kort is belittling her! MATCH IS IN FRONT OF US

[Kort pulls Heidi up to her feet and looks for the Russian legsweep, but Heidi hits a side thrust kick to the bad knee and Kort immediately drops to the mat.  Heidi picks the leg up, hooks the ankle and snaps herself to the mat, jamming Kort’s leg.  After a few of these she twists his leg around her own.]

DDK:
Heidi’s just stretching and tearing at the right knee of Jimmy Kort with that submission hold.  

Angus:
Yep, and knowing Heidi there’s probably four hundred and forty-seven more where that came from.

[Jimmy Kort cannot hide the fact that he’s in tremendous pain right now, but damned if he’s done yet.  He drags himself inch by inch towards the ropes and grabs them with his left hand.  Heidi calmly hangs onto the hold, Mark Shields walks over and we get this.]

Shields:
He’s got the ropes, break the hold Heidi.

Heidi:
I have til five!

Shields:
Fuck that shit you break the hold when I say break the hold or you get DQd!  Only warning!

[Rather than risk a DQ here and now, Heidi drops it.]

Heidi:
This is just because you don’t feel like counting, isn’t it?!

[And since she can’t kick Mark Shields she kicks Jimmy Kort instead.  Kort, who was pulling himself up the ropes, collapses.  Heidi drags him backwards into the middle of the ring by his ankles, then puts her leg across the back of his knee, folds his lower leg up and sits down on it, applying a calf crank.]

[Kort covers his head with his arms and screams into the mat, then pushes himself up.]

[And Heidi shoots in on the other leg, rolls the hold over and has some kind of double kneebar applied!]

Angus:
Lord almighty it hurts to even watch her do that.

[Kort collapses back to the mat, and Mark Shields is in making a pinfall count!  ONE!  TWO!  And Kort levers himself up on his elbow to break the count.]

DDK:
As we just saw, not only is that a submission hold, but if Kort passes out while trapped in it, he can be counted down for a pinfall.  Heidi obviously would prefer the tapout, but a win’s a win here and she can’t afford another loss to Jimmy Kort.

[The fans can’t decide whether to chant “KORT! KORT! KORT!” or “TAP! TAP! TAP!” and consequently neither chant really gets started.]

Angus:
Well, the longer he stays caught in that, the more likely he is to pass out.

[Kort begins scooting himself backwards with his hands.  Inch by painstaking inch he gets to the ropes.  Heidi drops the hold immediately, but not out of either sportsmanship or mercy.  She sets Kort’s ankle on the bottom rope, slingshots off the middle rope and comes down right on the knee with a double stomp!]

[Jimmy Kort screams.]

[Heidi quickly slashes her thumb across her throat, picks Kort up and hooks him by the neck and leg, then somehow powers him up and over for a fisherman’s suplex!  Instead of holding the pin, she rolls over and double-hooks his leg with hers, as though going for the Pittsburgh Plunge.]

Angus:
I don’t like where this is going for Jimmy Kort...

[Now this is a little hard to describe so bear with me.  Instead of hanging on to the pin, Heidi rolls off and to the side, shifting her legs into a triangle grip around one of Kort’s.  Then she grabs Kort’s foot and pulls it to the side, bending his knee sideways against the joint!]

[And Jimmy Kort taps.]

[Fucking INSTANTLY.]

DING!  DING!  DING!

Angus:
...What the HELL was that!?

DDK:
Well, it would appear to be a leglock from an indefensible position applied to the previously injured knee of Jimmy Kort.

Angus:
No shit.  I mean, what the hell was... you know what, forget it.

DDK:
Jimmy Kort did indeed come to fight and he deserves all the credit in the world for that, but once Heidi zeroed in on that leg, it was a foregone conclusion.

[Heidi lets go of the leglock slowly, as though she’d really rather keep torturing Kort with it.]

DDK:
Heidi advances in the playoffs, and next week she’ll meet Alceo Dentari in the semi-finals.

[The knowing wail of an air raid siren blasts through the DEFIANCE Hi-Def Sound System as  the lights dropped on the arena.]

DING! DING! DING!