[Cold open.]

“Hi, I’m Kai Scott.”

[It’s true.]

“It occurred to me that I don’t need a fully functional back to talk, and so I could get Claira St. Sure set up with the best practice I could find for her, and do my job and handle talking to the stupid people.”

[Kai’s up on his feet.  He’s back in his preferred attire, black slacks and a black trench coat over a navy blue muscle shirt, but the pale yellow neckbrace offsets the look.]

“I’ve never had the chance to step into any sort of cage match before in my entire career.  Maybe that’s because even though my career’s been running 16 years and counting, I’ve spent at least half that time injured.  Mostly my knee, I mangled it inside a ladder and it never really recovered, it’d get back up to 100% but as soon as I started putting it through the works it’d fall apart on the inside again.  Cole Christenson was in a War Games – I know most of you EVO guys don’t remember this, but he was part of the Truly Untouchables back in Def 1.0.  Thing is, when that run fell through, he went home angry.”

“I asked him if he’d teach Claira what he knew, you know what he said?”

“He said ‘no’.”

“Lucky thing for Claira, cage matches don’t happen all that often.  She’s not the only one who’ll be in there for the first time and maybe not so ready for it.”

“She’s getting ready, don’t get me wrong.  Best thing I could do was get some chicken wire and hook it to the ring ropes, then have her run her usual drills.  I know chicken wire isn’t like steel mesh, but it’ll scratch you if you hit it wrong.  We just get the whole idea of the ropes being the danger area into her head before she steps into the real thing.”

[From somewhere, Kai produces a kendo stick.  He lifts it up and sets it so it rests on his left shoulder.]

“Anyway, enough about what Claira’s doing.  Let’s talk about what she’s already done.  Starting with who she beat.”

“See, if Alceo Dentari wants to try and make it like she’s beaten no one, that’s his bad, right?  He can write off Adam Waterman if he wants.  Doesn’t matter that Waterman won the entire preseason.  Doesn’t matter that everyone knows Waterman left cos of a falling out with the bosses and not because he ‘couldn’t cut it’, she calls him out on having beaten no one, so he’s got to try and spin it back on her, even if it won’t work.  Then he’ll try and say that just ‘cos she tapped three 300 pound men already doesn’t mean she can do it in War Games.  To that, I say…”

[He stops talking.  Makes a face, blinks a few times, taps his kendo stick on his shoulder.]

“I say nothing, cos it makes so little sense I can’t even get started.  In a match where there aren’t any rope breaks, she’s not going to be able to make people tap.”

“Right.”

[Smirk.  He twirls the kendo stick.]

“Also, Adam Waterman’s boyfriend was Sergeiev Goborovich, not Kengoro Sugamoto.  Just throwin that out there, in case you’re tired of bein’ wrong.”

“But enough about Waterman.  Let’s just talk about who all she beat, all rational-like.”

“First, let’s start with Eugene Dewey.”

[Kai nods, accentuating his point.]

“Now, I know that Alceo will go on about Eugene pinning some guy a split second before Claira tapped some other guy, and go with the ‘it wasn’t political it was a clean loss’ routine.  But over in EVO, you got Sam Turner Junior and Dragon Jones pinning dudes at the same time and being awarded co-winners, and I also remember Elijah Goldman having a tantrum about not letting HERI put an extra person in the match.  Rumors of Eugene throwing a fit because he didn’t get a streakbreaker bonus for that are unsubstantiated.”

“But that’s all fine. Claira’s a big girl, she took the rejection from the match well and won HERI an interleague point.”

“Then she put everything back in context by tapping Eugene Dewey’s ass out.”

“So, I’d love to hear Alceo ramble about that particular nobody and how beating him doesn’t count for anything.”

[A smile had been slowly spreading across his face, but Kai forced it back.]

“Look, Dentari.  I’ll talk straight to you.  You’re good.  You’re actually like Claira in a way.  You come into Defiance a nobody, just hired to fill some space on the roster, and instead of sitting back and taking a paycheck and a TV deal, you said fuck that, you went out and kicked some asses, and you got yourself noticed by force.  Hats off.  That’s what she did too, though.  And she earned 60 points and an IL point doing it, while you got 30 regular points and no IL points.”

“And ain’t that an elbow joint what’s twisted all out of shape.”

[Kai stretches his right arm out in front of him, and then making a noise in the back of his throat, twists it to the side.]

[The implication is that Claira St. Sure is going to hurt Alceo’s elbow.]

“Sam Turner doesn’t seem to have a whole lot to say about the match, and Yoshikazu YAZ doesn’t seem to have anything to say about anything, so I’ll just move on past them and come to…”

“Jimmy Kort.”

“Cowboy.”

“Baybe.  With the top let back and the sunshine shining.”

[Laugh.]

“Nineties represent, I can’t the word Cowboy without getting that damn song stuck in my head.”

“But maybe I shouldn’t be having such a laugh at your expense, Jimmy.”

“For years, man, I was that guy who couldn’t win the big one – the guy who choked in his title shots.  And that regional Heavyweight Title I won that I mentioned a couple times before?  Won that in an entire fed ladder match – didn’t have a clue I was even getting a shot, maybe that’s why I brought it home.”

“I could win tag titles, and… some other tag titles.”

“What I’m tryin’ to say is that I sympathize.”

“It’s not fair to blame your going to EVO on Cito Conarri, though.   Besides, its not like no one asked you to join HERI.  Heidi Christenson – and your two victories over her, impressive though they might be, should not be taken evidence that she isn’t one real damn special lady – invited you to spiritually join HERI with her.  And I quote…”

“’You should be saying to me, ‘Heidi, let’s show these fools what a couple of Defiants can do’, and then we’d hang ‘em high.’”

“Maybe not the best choice of words on her part, considering your history… but man, we all done things we wish we hadn’t done.  Shit.  If you ever get a chance, take a look at Heidi’s back, it still bears the scars of something I regret.”

[The lightness, the amused sarcasm that Kai Scott usually speaks with, has disappeared from his voice.]

“Either way, you didn’t do it.  If it puts asses in seats, it doesn’t matter to you who’s signing the checks, right?   Just like you said.  Maybe you’re right, man, maybe.  Lord knows I’m not the guy to lecture you on picking sides.  Before Jonny lost his mind, I was all about refusing to pick sides, ‘I only care about my clients’.  And I didn’t pick sides so much as they got picked for me.”

“But what Heidi and Claira and Christian Light have all been saying, and maybe it’s gotten a little lost in the antagonism, is that E-Gold’s still the same guy you shot in the face with hot sauce, that Alceo Dentari’s the kind of scum who’d threaten a man’s kids, and that when you shrug, say ‘what can you do’ and just side with them because no one on HERI yelled loud enough.  That road’s not leading you anywhere good.”

“Think about what I said, man.”
 

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