Legit: SHOOT

Camera comes in focus and shows a white sheet hanging from a ceiling “Fuckin’ Problems” by ASAP Rocky is thumping in the background as the sheet comes into focus. The sheet has written “CVC” in huge sharpie drawn letters across it. A shadow can be seen on the sheet right before Chance Von Crank walks in front of it. He adjusts the camera so he is in total focus. He stands back away from the camera in his full wrestling gear, including his robe and gold chain. The music dies down as the song ends.

cVc™: The budget is not all that much sure but there is nothing on tv this night greater than this. I am one that likes to keep it real and that is what this is all about. I usually use this camera exclusively to make fuck pictures but not tonight. It serves a better purpose than that for this night. I don’t think I have really let my opponent for Defiance TV know exactly how The Trailer Park Prodigy feels.

Chance adjusts his chain, and puts his cheap aviators on. He throws his robe to the side.

cVc™: Honestly, Adam Faulkner I don’t know where to start. One of your nicknames is Your Friendly Neighborhood Guy With Lots of Moves?

Chance begins to laugh.

cVc™: That’s Fucking Precious. I need a real opponent at some point. Listen here shit bag, the best thing you can do is stay hidden in that neighborhood. How can I take someone seriously at what I do so well when they themselves do not? This moment will live on in your heart forever. You will always be able to tell some whore at a bar, I wrestled TPP one time. That will be the only way you will be getting the tip of your dick wet.

Chance takes a step back and smiles at the camera for a moment.

cVc™: It says on your biography that your also known as the Pain Sponge? So you’re a tampon? Is that what you’re trying to say because at this point not laughing my ass off is impossible. I got you a winner since you’re so hard up for nicknames. How about King of The CockSuck? Is that too real? Creative move set is your strength? He’s not playing. Maybe if you are wearing a helmet and shitting your pants it sounds creative. The only thing even interesting about you at the moment Faulkner is your facing cVc on Defiance TV. Taking bets right now in Vegas on our match. I put 50 dollars down on having to operate to remove my wrestling boot from your asshole rather than the ref being able to do it. You are going to be on all fours before you even realize how the Wrestling Gods have fucked you that night. Beg for mercy all you like The Trailer Park Prodigy has none.  After all you are the Human Tampon and I am thinking maybe you can absorb some of the blood when I bust your wrestling cherry live in front of 22,000 people.

Chance walks up to the camera laughing from his comment, and brings the camera real close to his face.

cVc™: I know how you feel after watching this. Your face is red and you’re hot around the collar, pissed off like never before. That is why I’m holding this mirror up to your face so you can see what the rest of us see.  Only a wrestler of my caliber could deliver such an ultimate mind fuck of this magnitude. You’re so angry and I did all that with a few words and there is nothing you can do about it. You are an over achiever at best, Adam. You’re Welcome by the way that I would even accept such a shitty match. As you hear “Adrenaline” hit across the big speakers and you walk out attempting to be the gay guy from the neighborhood who knows a lot of moves yet never gets laid remember this. That will be the longest walk down any ramp you ever take because you will know your whole career has built up to this moment and even praying to imaginary people who cannot save you won’t help. Your hands will be sweaty and with every step towards that ring your knees begin to weaken. You find yourself out of your league with all the bright lights on you. As you experience this moment and remember what I have said here tonight, look over at me and know I told you so. Defiance has a real star on they’re hands and his name is not Adam Faulkner. It’s Chance Von Crank and they have to know I will weed out any and all shitheads on my way to the top. You’re the first cocksucker of many to try and delay what is inevitable. I have nothing but distaste for such a vile waste of bottom of the card space, like you Faulkner. Welcome to the jungle motherfucker, and your second match is against a fucking Lion.

Chance turns the music back on.

cVc™:  I love bad bitches that’s my fuckin’ problem… Yeah your hands are full now and I know what you must be thinking, such a double edged sword this match for you. On one hand you are on a billboard with your name next to the real deal. On the other however, you are going to be embarrassed in front of a shit load of people and have zero chance of winning. I will take on anyone with a few minutes to get that ass whipped by The Shock N Rolla. I hype me and no one else, enjoy these 15 minutes because after I’m done using you like a dirty whore. All you are is a step on a ladder I am taking straight to the top of the card. I’ll think of you while you rot at the bottom, heres a t-shirt...

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