Title: Kaleidoscopic warning
Featuring: Tom Sawyer
Date: Just before DefTV 34.
Location: Somewhere Unimportant
An electric green, sizzlingly-bright yellow, angry phosphorus-red hellscape of the collective color palette of the 1980s. The colors were what would happen if you did a gas chromatograph extraction of a pureed physical version of Devo's "Whip It". The colors swirled and danced and rocked and rioted.
"Heidi Christenson... You got a small taste of the sound and the fury that you Untouchables unleashed by backing me into a corner."
The rockin' pandemonium of the colorspray continued to gyrate and rock madly.
"And you didn't like it. Not one little bit."
The sound of leather creaking tight against flesh. It could be construed as creepy, if it weren't for the fact that the Macho Ranger lived and breathed the 1980s... And nothing was as 80s as leather. And besides, Tom Sawyer was too naive to make a bondage joke.
"That's good, Heidi. That's real good. A farmer reaps what he sows, and you Untouchables sowed nothing but destruction, terror, sorrow and misery. And now, you get to see what happens when that bill comes due."
The Macho Ranger, whereever he was standing in this dimension of kaleidoscopic color, shifted position, the view changing to swirling diamonds and shifting visuals. You know. Like a kaleidoscope.
"And now, Heidi Christenson, Jeff Andrews, Ronnie Long and Kai Scott armor up to fight the Good Fight."
A popping crack of the knuckles. Somewhere, the Macho Ranger was greatly anticipating the fight.
"They armor up to fight the man who had Jeff Andrews dead to rights. And Jeff can't get lucky every time. Eugene Dewey WILL have his day."
A quick, fleeting visual of the 8-Bit Warrior.
"They armor up to fight the man who knows better than anyone else what Jeff Andrews plots. Justin Voss has stared into the abyss, and came back a changed man. And if anyone has your number, Untouchables..."
The Macho Ranger trailed off. After a meaningful moment...
"They armor up to fight the Favored Son of the South. A World Tag Team Champion elsewhere. The bedrock of the Good Fight, who brings a Rebel Yell that you Untouchables can never silence."
The view shifted slightly. And the sunglasses of Machismo were drawn off, tossed onto the countertop. Tom Sawyer looked up into the mirror, the camera showing Tom's face. Yes, the camera was either a pinhole camera on his chest or the Macho Ranger's eyes. Figure that one the fuck out, bitches.
"And they armor up to fight the Macho Ranger. The heir of Rock n' Wrestling. The man who would never say die, even before given this gift, this ETERNAL STRUGGLE OF POWER AND DESTRUCITY!"
Sawyer's face was flushed, his eyes wide, his rampaging blonde beard all thick and snarled.
"AND NOTHING WILL STOP THE MACHO RANGER FROM HIS COURSE OF ACTION! THE ONLY VERDICT IS VIOLENCE, UNLEASHED ON THE UNTOUCHABLES AND DIRECTED TO THEIR DESTRUCTION!"
Sawyer's eyes had gone even wider, the veins shooting through those tortured orbs sticking out in bright red contrast to the whites of Tom's eyes.
He levelled a shaking finger at the mirror, the camera, the unseen Untouchables and all foes of goodness and Light. Pun intended.
"Now that I have taken up the sunglasses and hat, my cause is just. My aim is true. The first to taste my vengeful assault was the Queen of the Untouchables. But she will not be the last, oh no..."
Tom brought both hands up, fists clenching firmly and shaking, shaking with his divine righteousness.
"THE MADNESS COURSING THROUGH MY VEINS WILL NOT ALLOW ME TO STRAY FROM MY COURSE, UNTOUCHABLES! YOU HAVE PUSHED ME TO THIS POINT! IT IS YOU WHO HAVE DEMANDED THIS! IT IS YOU WHO HAVE BEGGED FOR THIS RESULT! AND NOW YOU SHALL FEEL THE CONSEQUENCES! NOW, YOU SHALL REAP THE WHIRLWIND!"
The Ranger pumped his arms, eyes wide as he frantically gesticulated.
"I AM THE LAW AND THE LASH! THE UNTOUCHABLES SHALL TASTE THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND BURNING STARS, THE EJECTA OF A NEUTRON STAR AND THE EVENT HORIZON OF A COLLAPSING BLACK HOLE! IT IS ALL BARRELING TOWARD DEFIANCE TV 34, WHERE..."
The Macho Ranger leaned close to the mirror, voice dropping to a whisper.
"I fear what you have unleashed upon this world."
The Ranger holds out a hand, and color floods the mirror, floods the camera's view, and cuts off the view of To-...
Of the Macho Ranger. And at DefTV... The Macho Ranger would ride. And there'd be no countouts. Not in an 8-person tag. Not this time.
The Madness would be unleashed if it was the last thing the Macho Ranger did.
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