White Trash Paradise l

Harlan Kentucky, home of one Chance Von Crank. Deep in the hills of Kentucky at the Crank Trailer Park is where long time manager, Downtown Steve Sin has decided to start cVc’s training. Chance stands in front of 8 tires placed in sets of 2 in a straight line.

Downtown: Now Chance this trailer park is the perfect place to start your new training, my kind of training. I have set all this up to make you faster, stronger and all around just fucking better. So I don’t want any lip, Got it?

cVc: You don’t want any lip?

Downtown: Yes that’s right.

cVc: How about I knock the ever loving dog shit right out of you? Would you like that better? I am the Shock-N-Rolla and this kind of shit is beneath me and you fucking know it Sin! What kind of fucking name is that anyway? Sounds like a gay porno plot.

Downtown: Just do this, I told you to trust me if you want to taste gold.

Chance gives a look of distaste but gets down in a position ready to take off. Downtown walks over and ties a rope around chances neck that is tied to three concrete center blocks placed behind him on the ground.

Downtown: GO!

Chance takes off through the tires with the blocks dragging behind him and runs through the tires fine for the first four. The blocks get caught on the first tires and he has to strain through the rest. He struggles toward the end with a crowd gathering from the surrounding trailer park to watch. Chance gets to the end and takes the rope off his neck. He unties the rope from one of the blocks and throws it Downtown’s head. He ducks and it misses. Chance bends over breathing heavily.

Downtown: Look if you want to beat this motherfucker and the next 20 that comes after him you better fucking listen to me. I have no patience for weakness.

cVc: No Patience for Weakness? I say that, and I copyright everything so you better watch your goddamn mouth. Frank Dylan James, this motherfucker has three first names. And this match is being billed as a redneck vs. redneck hoe down? Yeah, fuck this cocksucking dried cum stain.

Chance continues to breath heavy as Downtown grabs a backpack he brought. He walks over to a pile of small rocks and begins putting them in the bag.

cVc: What the fuck are you doing now?

Downtown: I am going to load this backpack down with these rocks I gathered from the hills. You’re going to run up in the woods with no trail to the very top.

cVc: Of the fucking mountain! What the fuck man?

Downtown: Not the very top but atleast to the mountain base. You have to write “cVc” with this piece of chalk so I know you did it. Write it on the side of the mountain so I will know you went to touched the mountain before you headed back.

cVc: This is complete horse shit.

Chance walks over to pick up the back pack and nearly drops it not expecting the weight of it to be quite so much. He picks it up and straps it to his back slightly slouching from the weight of it. He looks up already knowing how steep the forest gets before you even get close to the mountain where he is headed. He looks up at the daunting task with so much weight on his back. He takes off the backpack and throws it down. He heads for a small out house behind one of the trailers in the trailer park.

Downtown:  Where are you going, Chance?

cVc: I have to take a shit, alright?

Chance opens the door of the outhouse and the stench is nearly unbearable but growing up here he has grown use to it. A small bench with a hole is where he sits down to do his business. Flies buzz around his head chasing the foul smell below him. He begins to talk to himself.

cVc:  This motherfucker has no idea who the fuck you are… No Idea who he is fucking with. I will put a end to all this shit once I beat this faggot Frank Dylan James within a inch of his life. Fuck Him and his three first names. Great nothing to wipe with!?!

Chance looks around the small outhouse for paper to wipe. He see’s a copy of Defiance Wrestling’s magazine and reaches for it. He gets to the middle and see’s a poster of World Champion, Jeff Andrews. “Perfect”, he rips it out and wipes his ass with it, getting fecal matter all over Andrews poster then wodding it up to drop in the hole.

To Be Continued

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