Title: Stories
Featuring: Claira St. Sure
Date: April 7, 2013
Location: -

“The dragon opened his mouth wide, and his roar shook the ground, so that the princess’ horse lost its footing and she fell upon the ground.  It rushed at her, raised its foot, and stomped.  She threw herself to the side, and the dragon’s foot just missed her.  The stomp threw pebbles and chunks of earth up into the air, but she raised her arm against them.”

[Open on Diane Parker.]

[Claira St. Sure’s manager and trainer is seated, cross-legged, in an armchair.  A small pair of black framed reading glasses rest on her nose, and a book, held open, is balanced on her knee.]

“She grabbed the rough scales of the dragon’s leg, and climbed onto the beast’s back.  It stomped its feet again, but she didn’t lose her grip.  It turned around to bite her, or maybe to breathe fire, but when it turned its neck, the scales pulled apart, showing the soft skin underneath them.”

[Diane licks the tip of her index finger, and turns a page.]

“The princess drew her golden rapier, and drove it into the beast’s neck, all the way to the hilt. She pulled it free, and flame spouted from the wound as the dragon choked on its’ own fire.”

“The dragon had fought lancers mounted on horses, but their lances merely scratched his scales.  He’d fought berserkers wielding battle axes, but the axes had only chipped his teeth.  And he’d fought heavily armored knights wielding great longswords, but their swords only scarred his snout. It was her thin blade that was able to fit into the cracks of his armor.”

“With a roar of pain he rolled over, trying to crush her under his body, but she held close to his neck, and was unharmed.  Standing on the underside of his neck, she drove the rapier into the top of his throat, right under the jaw.”

[One more page is turned.]

“The dragon’s last thought as it died was to wonder how something so much smaller and weaker than it could have bested it.”

“Dedicated to Dan Ryan, who I understand enjoys stories.”

[Diane closes the book and sets it aside.]

“In fact, since he likes them so much, I’ve got a second one prepared.”

“This one’s true, though.”

“Did you know that wrestling is Claira St. Sure’s entire life?”

“She hates her Jamaican accent, you know.  Tries to avoid talking for herself.  I don’t know that she sounds like she’s lisping when she says her own name – I know that I’ve never had any trouble saying it, neither have DDK or Angus, and I haven’t really heard any of the guys struggle with it when they’re doing their radio shows – but that’s beside the point.  She doesn’t want to talk, so she trains and I talk for her.”

[Diane picks up a brown leather case, opens it, takes her glasses off and places them into it, then sets it down somewhere below the camera’s view.]

“Speaking of talking, I haven’t talked to Christian Light since the day he asked me if I was in on what The Untouchables were doing, and I told him that Heidi trying to break my neck clearly indicated that I wasn’t.  I don’t know why he wasn’t noisy enough to satisfy you.  What I can tell you about Claira is that she is careful.  She doesn’t like to guess how some

“And you’re right.  There’s no magic trick to beating someone who outweighs you.  Believe me, Dan, I know all about that.  I’m the girl who’s almost as good as Claira and Heidi as long as I stick to wrestling in my own weight class, but who can’t really break out of womens’ divisions because the average male wrestler is 255 lbs and her lift limit for suplexes is around 200 lbs.”

[Pausing, Diane shakes her head ruefully.]

“Claira’s not going to let anything like that bother her, she’ll be out there training.  She’ll get – back when Kai was still training her and she was about to face Jan Gin Xiao, he prowled judo dojos until he found a guy who weighed over 300 lbs, and hired him as a sparring partner.  By the time that match happened, she hadn’t found a magic trick to let her lift him, but she’d gotten a lot of practice squirming out from under bigger opponents.”

“No, you’re not Jan Gin Xiao. I mean, not to make it sound like I’m accusing you of forgetting that you’re not a sumo wrestler.  But you’re a completely different person.  I mean, he was a sumo wrestler who was pro wrestling because his agent thought he could make some money doing it.  You actually like pro wrestling, and you like to hit people until they can’t get back up and submission hold them until they scream, I know because you just said it… that makes you different from every single pro wrestler ever… how?

“I mean, how are you different from Adam Waterman, and Jan Gin Xiao, and Eugene Dewey, and Bubba Hayes – all those big men Claira’s already beaten?  And for fairness, how are you different from Christian Light, who she hasn’t?  Edward White had about a hundred pounds on Claira, that’s more than the handicap your usual opponent has against you, isn’t it?”

“Look.  There’s a difference between being respectful and being intimidated.  Claira’s been respectful of everyone she’s been in the ring against.  She even gave Hollywood Jack a fair chance to earn it.  As far as being intimidated, look at what she’s accomplished, and tell me why she should be intimidated.”

[Diane folds her hands in her lap, and raises her eyebrows a bit.]

“If anything, you should be intimidated – if not by Claira, then by Kai Scott.”

“You know, Dan, for someone who is supposed to be a mastermind, you sure are oblivious.”

 

“Thanks for taking care of Yoshikazu YAZ for us, by the way.”



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