"I'll forgo the formalities here."

[Edward White had found himself inside the sturdy walls and mile high displays of Home Depot, slowly walking down the aisles. On his left, his Foreign Investment Manager - NIcky Corozzo and on his right, his Domestic Hedge Fund Officer - Hector Perez. All three men were in suits, with the exception of White's suit jacket which Hector held folded, draped over his arm.]

"I don't care what you have to say about me Python, I really don't care what any of you low lives have to say.

"... of course, barring cryptic nudges from Mr. Scott..."

[He rolls his eyes.]

"You can point out the inherit contradictions that seem to construct my life. Sure, you and I are both former world heavyweight champions. So is Kai Scott. So is Cancer Jiles... The only one who hasn't had the brass ring is Aleco.

"We've been to the top of the mountain, wrestled in front of tens of thousands of people. And we'll do it again Sunday, when we climb, tumble, fall and climb up a ladder again just to grasp at the chance to touch the Defiance Championship.

"But the paradox you painted, the crutch of accomplishments I use to hobble on as I make it around as a washed up wrestler from yesteryear, that finger painting you slapped together in a flash round of shit talk -- it's the act of a defiant child.

"ONE_MAN"

[Index finger up.]

"Just ONE man is coming out of that match as champion.

"And all they have to do is unhook the championship from where it's hanging"

[From the garden section the trio enters through the sliding glass door. Sinks and toilets as far as the eye could see. Nicky looks over the chrome, porcelain and pseudo-granite counters for overzealous fans or casual stalkers; all clear. The begin to walk down the center aisle.]

"Do I have to beat you to be better than you?

"Ha -- You should take some notes from Kai Scott, you should know that I don't measure success by a sparkling clean record of wins over losses, and unlike my friend Bronson Box, I don't measure victory by how many compound fractures I gave to my opponent.

"The amount of dollars in my bank accounts, it doesn't even do much for me. The numbers always fluctuate. To be honest with you and the others, in an sign of transparency, about $50,000 has been taken out of my checking account. What is that going to buy me?"

[A smile.]

"With referees getting a pay raise, health insurance and lodging costs -- they're not as hard up for Fast Eddy's "You Scratch my back and I'll give you $5,000" stimulus package.

"Furthermore, you morons have been all about the officials. I don't need a fast count, I don't need a bell to be rung when I apply a submission, I don't need an insider in the referee. None of us do when all you have to do is scale a ladder.

"It's not just you Python, I really shouldn't have to remind the man who destroyed CAL, but the referee isn't even a pawn in this match. His power is useless in this match. He's just there to make sure we don't kill each other. And he can do that, I don't need to pay him a single cent to do that job.

"But Kai Scott did get one fact right, I'm coming into this match ready to scrap."

[Passing toilet seats that gradually close themselves so pesky kids could slam them down when putting the lid down, passing the paint section and skipping over the power tools, the three men had found themselves in the lumber section.]

"You might not be as fiscally endowed as me, but I don't measure success by how much money I can cram into certificate of deposits or in Swiss bank accounts. I don't measure success by who I defeated, when I defeated them or even how I defeated them.

"It's simple, I measure success by robbing opportunities from those who want them."

[Edward White stares up at a fifteen foot ladder, pulling out a cigar as he does so. A home depot representative scurries up to inform "The Socialite" of the hazards of smoking in the lumber department and the dangers of second hand smoke but before he can open his mouth, White tosses a few twenties his way.]

"The FIST of Defiance, The Tag Team Championships and The Southern Heritage Championship. I didn't want a single one of them. Cancer Jiles knew it when he and I began our partnership. Or maybe he didn't, he was always a little slow on the uptake.

"I wanted to keep the Tag Team titles out of the hands of the Untouchables, out of Tom Sawyer's paws, out of his mustached friend. I played hot potato with the FIST of Defiance, keeping it away from Aleco Dentari, Bronson Box and the rest of the entire roster because I wanted to. And the Southern Heritage Championship, well, I just plain wanted to make Jimmy Kort have a bad day."

[As White brings a match up to his cigar, Nicky Corozzo muscles the ladder over to him. With the ladder standing on its own, Nicky holds it steady on the other side. Edward begins to scale the ladder, talking as he does so.]

"At Ascension, you all are going to have a bad day.

"As I take go step by step, rung by rung, foot by foot, higher and higher up that ladder towards the prize.

"The Defiance Championship."

[At the tippy top of the ladder, White straddles either side reaching up towards an invisible belt. A special camera crew was obviously brought in for the elevation. Edward looks to the right, to the left. He notices that a fifteen foot ladder inside a home depot isn't nearly as impressive as it would be in the ring.]

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

[Hector Perez was one step ahead of his boss, backing up a hydraulic scissor lift along side the ladder. Slowly the machine brought up the loading platform allowing "The Socialite" to hop on.]

"Kai Scott, you can bring whatever former associates you want to in this match to pull the strings, lift prints, whatever you need to create the perfect crime...

"Aleco Dentari, you and the Gorillas can mug and maraud for the best opportunity to strike....

"Python, you can kiss as many babies and babes as you want, drink with the frat boys and registered sex offenders alike....

"King COOL Cancer Jiles, you can smoke your kush and pretend like this is the season finale of Game of Thrones...

"But not a single one of you men will work up what's necessary to keep me from getting to the top of that ladder. None of you have the balls to put your money where your mouth is."

[The scissor lift jerks to a halt.]

"None of you have the deep pockets to compete with any funds necessary. You might have legacies of destroying empires, slaying giants, crushing skulls or collecting shades.

"... but I wouldn't advise you gentlemen of breaking open your piggy banks to compete with moi."

[Edward White cackles, way above the tallest pallet of lumber, way beyond where the world championship will hang in the Superdome.]

[Way above everything.]

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