Title: Kick Out At Two
Featuring: Titanes Familia
Date: 12/22/20
Location: Balleyhoo Brew

“So it’s a done deal, then?”

The lovely Balleyhoo Brew. A giant and a luchador seated (well, the giant is standing, but the luchador is seated in a stool) near the bar. 

Stop me if you’ve heard this one. 

The giant wearing his favorite cardigan and jeans, the luchador with his DEFIANCE hoodie and jeans of his own. Said giant is on the phone now finishing up a call. 

Uriel Cortez:
All right. Good… and thanks for getting me that match, Mr. Keeling. Mason Luck’s face is gonna look pretty hilarious with his teeth missing. 

He carefully hits the end button (cause giant fingers) and puts his phone face-down on the table. Minute takes a break from his Batanga and looks up at his tag team partner. 

Minute:
It’s done?

For the first time in a long time, Uriel shows a smile back at his tag team partner. 

Uriel Cortez:
Done deal. The match is official. We get the Lucks at DEFRoad. Junior THINKS he’s gonna win the Sky High Titans name, but what’s gonna happen is that we both get finve minutes alone with that piece of garbage Morrow when WE win. No more hiding behind his asshole buddies. We’re putting this to bed for good.

Uriel checks his phone, but when nothing is there, he grabs his massive pint of Angry Orchard and holds it out. 

Uriel Cortez:
Cheers to finally kicking out at two in the year 2020, Mateo.

Minute laughs and grabs his own glass. 

Minute:
Si, amigo, si. Fuck the Lucks. 

Uriel belly laughs. 

Uriel Cortez:
I’ll cheer that. Fuck the Lucks!

The two bang their glasses together then take another drink of the respective adult beverages before they hit the table once more. Uriel sighs and looks down at the phone. Still nothing. He shrugs and leans over the counter. 

Uriel Cortez:
It’s too bad this damn bar can’t accompany a man of this giant svelte figure but I appreciate the discount drinks. How’s your booster seat, Mateo?

Minute responds with a middle finger and a soft laugh, then back to his drink. Both men sit in silence for a moment before Uriel finishes off his pint. 

Uriel Cortez:
Hey, can I get another Angry Orchard over here? 

One of Balleyhoo Brew’s beloved bartenders and former(?) wrestler, Davey La Rue finally comes in for his shift, as another nameless bartender leaves behind to go to the back room. Davey fills another pint and then slides it Uriel’s way. After Uriel pulls his head out of his phone for the fifth time in probably as many minutes, he starts on drink two. 

Davey La Rue:
There you go, mon ami. 

Uriel Cortez:
Thanks… 

Uriel is about to take a drink when he stops and notices the server. 

Uriel Cortez:
Wait… Davey? Davey La Rue?

Davey turns around again to greet the giant. 

Davey La Rue:
Do I know you, mon ami?

Uriel lets out a laugh. 

Uriel Cortez:
Yeah, man. nbW, remember? We tagged a few times.

Davey has to think about it, but the gears turn somewhat when Uriel waves a hand around his face. Then finally, said gears finally complete a rotation. 

Davey La Rue:
Oooo OOOOHHHH! Mon Ami! You were that big dude…

Uriel Cortez:
Yeah, big dude… in a mask! That was me. 

Minute looks up at his partner, confused as fuuuuuuuu. 

Uriel Cortez:
I moonlighted for nbW and DEFIANCE when I first started there. Don’t wanna talk about it. But Davey’s an all right dude I met there, along with Brock. Both of them can hold their liquor, but this guy here is a special breed of boozer. 

Davey laughs and pats his belly. 

Davey La Rue:
Oh, mon ami, dis right here? Years of practice, years. 

He turns to the bar. 

Davey La Rue:
Hey, hey! Toby! Can you get me some more glasses, mon ami, we runnin’ low!

The faithful runner comes out around twenty seconds later with another stack of glasses and helps Davey get them on the counter. He turns around and sees Minute. 

Toby:
Holy crap! Minute! 

Minute waves hello to the Balleyhoo employee and then he turns to see Uriel still waiting on something to happen with his phone. 

Toby:
Uriel Cortez! Sky High Titans… dude, he’s big. 

Davey laughs. 

Davey La Rue:
Dat’s true, but mon ami, if you have a few minutes, I’ll tell you ‘bout some bigger gators me an’ my brother wrestl…

Toby:
I don’t! Back to cleaning. 

Just as quickly as he arrives, he disappears to the back while Davey looks disappointed that nobody wants to hear his entertaining, yet slightly exaggerated gator wrestling stories. He notices Uriel looking at his phone.

Davey La Rue:
What’s the problem? Y’all be lookin’ at dat phone for a bit now.

Uriel Cortez:
Nothing, Davey. 

He quickly puts the phone face down on the counter and slightly shoves it away like it’s a moldy piece of broccoli. Minute looks up at Davey and then smiles. 

Minute:
Hahaha… is it a girl?

Uriel looks down at his partner. 

Uriel Cortez:
You want me to play lawn darts using your corpse, boy? Keep your mouth shut. You know nothing, Mateo Snow. 

Davey reads the room. 

Davey La Rue:
Ahh, course it’s a girl! They do funny things to us, mon ami. They can make the strongest of men shake at the knees. 

The TJ Tornado thinks to himself for a second… then some gears turn in his head. He slams a hand on the bar counter then points up at his partner with a knowing smile. 

Minute:
Princesa! You got her number, didn’t you?

Uriel looks up at the ceiling, about ready to possibly blush for the first time. He sighs. 

Uriel Cortez:
How does a tiny-ass man speak so loud? Close your mouth, man. 

Davey looks like he’s on the verge of a giggle fit. 

Davey La Rue:
Hey! That’s awesome! Is this a new thing you got going?

Uriel shakes his head, then reaches into his pocket and slides a fifty across the bar. 

Uriel Cortez:
Okay, I’m giving this to you right now under the pretense that you’re gonna walk over there and unhear anything you just heard in the last two minutes. 

Davey takes the bill and folds it up before putting it into his pocket. He zips a lip and goes back to cleaning a counter. 

Uriel Cortez:
No, clean further away or I’m going to reach over this counter and slap that fifty right back out of you. 

Davey goes back further and finally leaves Minute and Uriel alone for the moment. Uriel looks at his friend. 

Uriel Cortez:
All right, all right… I’m on the only one that gets to bust balls here, little man. 

Minute laughs again. 

Minute:
The gym? Por eso llegaste tarde, no? Con princesa?

Uriel shakes his head. 

Uriel Cortez:
No es asi. Su nombre es Holly so stop with the Princesa nonsense. Remember her truck with the flat tire? 

Minute:
Si. 

Uriel Cortez:
I picked her up the next morning and since the tow truck was gonna be three hours late, I picked her up and helped fix her tire. 

As Minute goes to open his mouth and perhaps laugh again, Uriel interrupts. 

Uriel Cortez:
Not a euphemism. We traded numbers. We met up one day this week for coffee… AGAIN, not a euphemism... and it was nice, man… real nice. We were there about three hours. But I texted her to see if she wanted to meet up again tonight here and she hasn’t responded. 

Minute… snickers. Then makes kissing noises cause he’s five. 

Minute:
Eres una chica! 

Uriel Cortez:
Enjoy this while you can, Mateo, cause you’re not gonna have teeth, either. Look… She’s awesome and I’d like to see where this goes… kind of a euphemism. I was just hoping to do it again, man. She’s… 

Minute points behind Uriel quickly, but he’s not budging. 

Uriel Cortez:
I mean it. Lawn dart, Mateo. You. Head. Wall. Stop messing with… 

He gets tapped on the arm. 

Uriel Cortez:
Davey, if you’re messing with… 

When Cortez turns, he’s surprised by a pair of lips to his quickly, seeing Holly there to greet him. After the surprise kiss, Uriel lets out a sigh of relief. 

Uriel Cortez:
Oh, thank God it wasn’t Davey. 

He leans over the bar. 

Uriel Cortez:
Not that the beard won’t do it for most people, my man. 

Davey La Rue:
Thanks, mon ami!

As Davey retreats to the kitchen, Uriel turns back to Holly, returning his smile with one of her own. White long-sleeved coat and jeans for the occasion as well. 

Holly:
Hey, sorry. Phone died, but I’m glad I caught you. You got bonus points for the really sweet things I heard. 

Uriel Cortez:
And how long were you standing there?

Holly:
I heard everything from where you want to see where this goes and some guy talk I’m just going to ignore. 

Uriel Cortez:
That’s probably for the best. 

Both look at Minute, still making kissy faces right before he goes back to his next Batanga. 

Uriel Cortez:
Ignore him, he’s twelve now. 

Minute:
Princesa! He checking his phone all night!

Holly:
Oh, really now? You miss me that much? And what’s with the cardigan, Giant Mister Rogers?

Uriel Cortez:
No, no, no, you don’t know me well enough to bag on my cardigan...

Uriel fumbles around while she laughs and has the seat next to where he’s standing at the bar. As she orders her drink, he looks to the left and then to his right with Minute and share laughs… 

As bad as 2020 has been pinning down Minute and Uriel... it’s nice that he gets to kick out at two right now. 

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