DEFIANCE TV 125

22 Oct 2019

DEFIANCE Wrestle-Plex, New Orleans, Louisiana (seats 4,000)

BLOOD RUNS COLD OPEN

The program unofficially begins inside Dr. Iris Davine’s exam room. The good doctor stands next to the exam table looking over papers attached to a clipboard. Flipping each paper up, doubling back to the original and then lifting the top sheets once again. 

Kerry Kuroyama sits atop the exam table, his nervous impatience causing the thin paper cover crinkle and rustle. The ever stoic Scott Douglas leans against the far wall, here in support of the previously injured “Pacific Blitzkrieg.”

Iris Davine speaks, lifting her eyes toward Kerry but not her head.

Iris Davine:
Sit … still. 

Kerry momentarily stops and the crinkling sound ceases. Iris’ eyes return to the clipboard in front of her for another moment before turning her full attention to the Pacific Patient.

Davine:
Ok, your test results look good -- 

Kerry Kuroyama:
Perfect! 

Kerry exclaims as he hops off the table in a hurry to get out of DEFMed.

Davine:
Hold on … 

Kerry is resistant to stick around for any potential bad news but after a stutter step does so anyhow.

Davine:
Your test results look good but … that is not say run right back out there in search of more head trauma. You … 

She pauses and turns toward Scott Douglas.

Davine:
Both of you…

Scott shrugs his shoulders and holds his hands up, wondering how he got drug into this. Iris, now having his attention, turns back to Kerry.

Davine:
… seem to have a real knack for finding situations that land you right back in my office. There isn’t a whole lot of longevity in that kind of behavior. Career-wise or quality of life … 

Kuroyama:
But to be clear … 

Iris rolls her eyes.

Kuroyama:
I’m cleared to compete? 

With a sigh, Iris responds.

Davine:
Yes.

Kerry beelines it out of the room, calling back on his way.

Kuroyama:
Thanks, Doc! 

Scott Douglas pushes himself off the wall and follows only pausing long enough to give Iris another shrugging look. Her expression doesn’t show a great deal of faith in either man’s ability to keep themselves out of trouble.

The camera follows Douglas out of the room as he catches up to Kerry Kuroyama.

Scott Douglas:
Kerry! 

Kerry holds and turns toward Scott.

Douglas:
I get it… You know I do… but maybe Iris isn’t too far off base here.

Kerry doesn’t hesitate.

Kuroyama:
I’m not letting this go… and if you were in my shoes … you damn sure wouldn’t either.

Kerry looks knowingly toward Scott for a moment before walking away. Scott knows he is right and there is no point in trying to stop him. Acknowledging that however doesn’t make his concern any less. 

Cut to the show open.

RUNDOWN

Bright flashes, rolling cameras, and all the action in the world. The live crowd sees the intro video being played over the DEFiatron, as classic moments of DEF’s current roster is played on screen. Footage of ACTS of DEFIANCE is briefly shown, clipping through the events line up like flipping pages of a comic book and ending on Oscar Burns holding his newly won FIST of DEFIANCE high into the air.

The heavily produced and graphically enhanced video fades out. A sky jib crane shot of the cheering Faithful screaming their lungs out, holding all of your favorite signs while pyro goes off around them.

SIGN OF THE TIMES
FIST AND TURNS!

I MISS PCP! ALSO ELISE & THE D
GAGE THE PLAGUE!
WRESTLEFRIENDS UNITE!
SHOOT SHOOTER!
STEVENS DYNASTY IS WHITE TRASHY

ZEE GERMANS!!
FIST MIKEY!
DEFIANCE ROAD TO HELL!
ELISE BREAK THE RECORD!
 

And to the Commentation Station, we go with those two lovely rascals who will introduce themselves right…

DDK:
Hello, everyone and welcome to the 125th edition of DEFtv! I’m “Downtown” Darren Keebler and with me as always is our surly color commentator “The Motormouth of Malcontent” Angus Skaaland. Angus, we saw one hell of a show at ASCENSION just a short few weeks ago … and here we are on the Road … to DEFIANCE ROAD 2019!

Angus:
I see what you did there and … I don’t like it!

DDK:
Angus’ and what he likes aside before we get into what we will see tonight, first we must address what we JUST saw!

Angus:
K-Cups is back to brewing up trouble.

DDK:
And I see what YOU did there.

Angus:
But do you like it?

DDK:
I do not.

Angus:
Everyones a critic.

DDK:
As my partner pointed out with a poorly constructed pun, “The Pacific Blitzkreig” Kerry Kuroyama, who we saw laid out on the concrete floor before his match with The D at ASCENSION, has received medical clearance and may return to action.

Angus:
I could use a cup too. Where is the “Pacific Barista” anyway?

DDK:
Good question, Angus … because after what we just saw at the top of the show, one has to wonder what Kerry Kuroyama has planned. It seems like revenge …

Angus:
If you say anything about serving temperatures … I swear to God, Keebs!

DDK:
… may be the order of the day. And speaking of The D!

Angus:[snickering]
As you often do.

DDK:
Well, that's my job.

Angus:
Oh, you do it … like it’s your job.

DDK:
Because, it … is … ?

Angus:
Yeah, it is.

DDK:
What is happening here -- you know what, forget it. Tonight The D will be in singles action as well as, “Sub Pop” Scott Douglas, Reinhardt Hoffman, and Scott Stevens but that is all I can say. We will join Lance Warner a little later on tonight for a very special announcement concerning those four competitors and many others! You are not going to want to miss this, folks!

Angus:
The words special and Lance Warner haven’t been used in the same sentence since he mercifully was allowed to “graduate” from public school. DDK ignores Angus and continues. It’s for the best, time constraints.

DDK:
Also tonight, in tag team action, the Wrestlefriends UNITE to take on two of the BRAZEN team, No Justice No Peace … Angus, I’m sure you’ll agree, it’s tough to nail down NJNP so it’s anyone’s guess; which two will the Wrestlefriends need to prepare for.

Angus:
Those Wrestledorks can prepare for the entire million man march and they’ll still get their heads kicked in. No Justice … No dorks!

DDK:
So eloquently put, Angus. 

MAY THE BEST SPORTS ENTER-WRESTLER WIN!

♫ “Battle Without Honor or Humanity” by Hotei ♫

DDK:
Here he comes lady and gentlemen! The man who at Ascention retained his #1 Contendership for the FIST of DEFIANCE, as well as finally beating Scott Stevens in a great match! 

Angus:
Finally is right! It’s been a long time coming, Keebs. 

Mikey Unlikely comes through the curtain to a greeting that would make anyone blush. The fans are on their feet as Mikey pulls the shades from his face and smiles. He makes his way over to the interview stage where Christie Zane stands poised for an interview. The music dies out at he makes his way up. 

Christie Zane:
Joining me at this time is the #1 Contender for the FIST, Mikey Unlikely! 

The fans cheer once more. 

Mikey Unlikely:
Thank you Christie, It’s good to be here this week, it’s good to have the weight of the world off my shoulders, I can honestly tell you, this is the first time in a long time I’ve felt some relief. Things are finally going the way they should, and I’m feeling loose!

The #1 contender dances in place a little, eliciting a smile from Ms. Zane. 

Christie Zane:
What do you have to say to Scott Stevens, After a hellacious few months of battle. 

The Hollywood star takes a few beats before answering. 

Mikey Unlikely:
Absolutely nothing Christie, as you well know, I’m not one to gloat… 

A chuckle from the crowd. 

Mikey Unlikely:
I did what I had to do, to get the matches with Stevens, I gave it all I had, and most importantly I came out on top! I had something to prove, and I did, not to Stevens, not to the fans, I had to prove it to myself Christie, and that’s the fact that I can beat any damn wrestler in the world when I put my mind to it. 

Loud reaction from the Faithful. 

Mikey Unlikely:
Which brings me to what’s next… 

Slowly but surely across the entire DEFplex, a chant breaks out  “BURNS! BURNS! BURNS!” Mikey smiles and let’s it happen, even nodding along to the cadence. 

Mikey Unlikely:
You know Christie, I was going through my things last week and I happened upon a box. I opened up that box and found a lot of old stuff from way back in my career … like a year ago! Letters from lost loves, Letters from lost Bruvs, Gear Designs I drew myself at 30,000 feet, but most importantly I found a checklist. 

Christy looks confused

Christie Zane:
A checklist? Of what? 

Mikey Unlikely:
Accomplishments, Goals, DREAMS! There were a lot of things on there… Win a title, CHECK! Win tag Titles, CHECK! , Be recognized in public, CHECK CHECK CHECK! But there was ONLY ONE thing left unchecked on the entire list. Can you guess what that is? 

Christie goes to answer but Mikey cuts her off. 

Mikey Unlikely:
No it’s rhetorical Christie, don’t answer that! The last item on my list is becoming FIST OF DEFIANCE! 

Mikey feigns shock. The fans laugh and aren’t surprised. 

Mikey Unlikely:
I’ve been close before, I’ve nearly TASTED it! Now, it’s time for me to put my head down, and go back to work, and fight for the biggest prize this sport has to offer. It’s time I focus on the FIST...and time Christie, there’s only one focus. There’s no our team vs your team, no imminent takeover, just a straightforward FIGHT. A fight I’m going to… 

♫ “Raise Your Flag” by MAN WITH A MISSION ♫

Before The World’s Greatest Sports Entertainer can finish his thought, the crowd now ROARS for Oscar Burns making his way out in street clothes and his signature “DEFIANCE: WE LIKE GRAPS!” in bright yellow tonight. 

DDK:
It looks like the FIST does indeed have something to say about Mikey’s thoughts on how their upcoming match might go. 

Angus:
Oh, does he now?

DDK:
No other reason he’s out here, I think. Both men were victorious in grueling matches. Mikey Unlikely finally getting the proverbial monkey off his back and winning his Best of Three Series against Scott Stevens. Burns defeating the BIGGEST man in DEFIANCE, Uriel Cortez via submission to retain the FIST. 

Burns smiles in appreciation for the fans in attendance before he walks on over to the interview stage nearby. He greets Christie with a polite handshake and eyes his future challenger once before asking for a microphone of his own. The Team Graps Cap looks out to the roaring Faithful and then motions for his music to fade out before he turns to face Mikey.

Oscar Burns:
Hello, GC. 

The Joint Chief of Joint Locks turned to Christie. 

Oscar Burns:
First off, apologies for cutting in on the time you scheduled here, GC. Very improper of me. But if you don’t mind, you did say a couple of things that I’d like to touch on, if I could. 

Mikey Unlikely:
By all means. 

He moved aside to let Christie get the microphone closer to the FIST of DEFIANCE.

Oscar Burns:
You’re very right, mate. You beat Scott Stevens to earn the right to fight me for this and you came out on top. A feat that I’ve only known once in the many times that Scott and I have fought. Let’s call a spade a spade as you Americans say. He’s a bloody shitbag. 

The crowd applauded that and even Mikey couldn’t help but laugh and nod in agreement.

Oscar Burns:
But a DANGEROUS bloody shitbag at that. If you beat him for the right to fight me, then I know you’re serious about trying to beat me for THIS…

He raises the championship. 

Oscar Burns:
I get this feeling, too, GC. I know what it’s like to have to bounce back from something because you want it that bad and prove you can do it. I put my own career on the line to get another shot at this title, then I had to go and beat your bruv, Kendrix…

Mikey Unlikely:
Former Bruv. 

Oscar Burns:
Sorry… I had to beat your FORMER Bruv, Kendrix and rip his arm out of his socket to win this title back and I’ve held it since. And people may think me stupid as a two-bob watch sometimes cause I say goofy things like GC and two-bob watch and this and that... But where I’m dead serious is my respect for that ring and my respect for this title. I defeated Cayle Murray to win this title once. I had it stolen from me, then fought back from a career-ending injury to win it back and fought harder to keep it. Trust me when I say, Mikey, I know you THINK you can win this fight, but I have to…

♫ “Sing From The Gallows” by Diablo Blvd ♫

DDK:
Oh, no… 

Angus:
Our NEW HOSS Overlord has heard enough!

DDK:
It looks like not just that, but the whole Family Keeling are out here!

The fans let out jeers as the massive giant from California stomps his way out from the back, looking dapper in a tailored black pinstriped suit. Adjusting his collar, the Titan of Industry is flanked by both Thomas and Junior Keeling… along with Andy Sharp, a man who knows Mikey Unlikely all too well. 

DDK:
Oh boy… For fans that may not remember a few years ago, it was Mikey Unlikely who put Andy Sharp out of action indefinitely back at DEFCON 2016, but what difference a few years makes. 

Angus:
Indeed. Mikey Unlikely is loved by the people for some reason and Andy got awesome, but also turned into a douchecanoe. 

The Family Keeling now arrive on the stage as Uriel’s music fades. Burns doesn’t miss a beat. 

Oscar Burns:
Look, GCs, just cause I came out here to interrupt Mikey doesn’t mean I’m inviting everybody to do it. Pretty sure the Wank Brigade doesn’t have any business out here.

He mouths “sorry, Mikey!” to the #1 Contender to the FIST while Thomas has the microphone. 

Thomas Keeling:
Oh, but we DO have business out here, Mr. Burns. Mainly considering that title you have on your shoulder. The title that rightfully belongs to HIM (pointing at Uriel Cortez). He had you beat within an inch of your life and if Benny Doyle wasn’t such a slow count, then we’d be here lording this over Mr. Unlikely. 

Junior Keeling turns the microphone on his headset and shakes his head.

Junior Keeling:
YEAH! WE SHOULD HAVE ALL THE GOLD! URIEL CORTEZ SHOULD BE YOUR FIST OF DEFIANCE!

Uriel was about to speak, but before the giant could, Andy Sharp took the microphone! The crowd looked on as Uriel balled up a fist, but Andy was seeing red after Ascension. 

Andy Sharp:
AND I SHOULD BE THE SOUTHERN HERITAGE CHAMPION! BUT ELISE ARES IS A FUCKING THIEF AND THIS PLACE HAS A HARD-ON FOR KEEPING HER AS THE CHAMPION AND IT MAKES ME FUCKING SICK!

Then he turns to Mikey. 

Andy Sharp:
Oh… and YOU, you stupid fucker. YOU are the Number One Contender to the FIST? You, who injured ME three years ago… and now, YOU have these dipshits hanging off your every word? News flash, people. Mikey Unlikely is a GIGANTIC FUCKSTICK! HE CAN BE TRUSTED ABOUT AS FAR AS A QUADRIPLEGIC COULD THROW HIM! WHICH ISN’T AT ALL! HE’S A FUCKING CONMAN WHO TOOK TIME AWAY FROM MY CAREER AND IS NOW SITTING HERE LIKE HIS SHIT DON’T STINK! REMEMBER WHEN HE LED A HOSTILE TAKEOVER OF DEFIANCE AND TRIED TO CLOSE THIS SHIT UP? I DO!

Thomas tries to take the microphone from Andy, but he moves and continues his rant. 

Andy Sharp:
And YOU, Burns… get that didgeridoo out of your ass and listen to ME… You don’t deserve to be champion. And one on one, I can take any title I want in this place. The company may have a boner for Elise Ares, but I’ll tell you this… I could bust your ass right here, right now and take that title from you. 

Mikey steps forward finally and Christie Zane raises the microphone for him.

Mikey Unlikely:
Hold on now, I know Oscar likes to be a good sport and hand out title matches to anyone who asks these days, but I’ve EARNED the right to be next in line dammit! Andy you can go on and on about the past, but the long and thick of it, sounds like you want some revenge on me, you want revenge on Oscar Burns, I say we skip past the war of words, and right here tonight we have ourselves a little match. 

The fans get very loud at the thought. Mikey looks over to Burns, bumps him on the chest playfully. 

Mikey Unlikely:
What do you think Burnsie? Mikey and Oscar TEAM UP! To take on Andy Sharp and Uriel Cortez? 

Before Oscar Burns can even respond or react…

Andy Sharp:
YOU’RE ON! I’ve been waiting for a chance to get my hands on both of you! After we’re done with the two of you, you’re not going to be worried about wrestling each other anytime soon. We’ll be beating the shit out of you, then I’LL be taking your title!

♫ “Rabbit’s Revenge” by Tom Morello, Bassnector, Big Boi and Killer Mike ♫

Andy Sharp smirks and drops the microphone before high-fiving Thomas and Junior while a visibly angry Uriel Cortez remains behind them. He shoots a glance at the FIST and the #1 Contender before leaving. Mikey and Oscar Burns talk but can’t be heard over the music as we fade to the next segment as we cut to Keebler and Angus.

DDK:
There you have it! We’ve got a MASSIVE tag team match tonight! Oscar Burns teaming with future opponent Mikey Unlikely to take on the team of Andy Sharp and Uriel Cortez! What a match that’s going to be!

Angus:
You see what just happened? Mikey just VOLUNTEERED them for that match! 

DDK:
They’re both proud men that aren’t going to shy away from a challenge, though! We’ll be seeing this blockbuster match ready tonight and see if Burns and Unlikely can work together to take out a common enemy!

COMMERCIAL BREAK: DEFIANCE LIVE

Catch DEFIANCE Live in your town! DEFIANCEWrestling.com

PARTYMAN!

As we come back from commercial break we see something happening at the top of the stage. We see some stagehands bring out a set of velvet-lined ropes and place it before the entrance to the stage ramp. From the back comes four security guards and they stand guard around the rope line. Lastly, an attractive blonde in her early twenties appears with a clipboard and stands near the rope.

Angus:
The hell is this, Keebs?

DDK:
I have no idea, Angus.

As Angus and Darren try to figure out what is going on we see the Stevens Dynasty slowly appear from the back draped in all the gold the Tag Team divisions have to offer. Cary leads the way and as they reach the entrance ramp they are stopped by security. Cary looks down at one of the guards hand as it touched him, Bo slapped his away and George is chest to chest with his guard while the fourth backs up the other facing George.

Angus:
We are going to have a brawl and I love it!

The young blonde comes over towards Cary.

Blonde:
You on the list?

The look on the Stevens Dynasty says it all as they look dumbfounded by such a question.

Cary Stevens:
Of course we are on the damn list. We are under champions as in the only champions that matter.

Cary says and the blonde checks the list and nods.

Blonde:
Gentlemen, let's broaden our minds! Lawrence...

The blonde motions for one of the guards over and Lawrence unhooks the rope and motions for the Stevens Dynasty to come through and as they do...

♫ “Partyman” by Prince ♫ 

... begins to play and a golden waterfall of pyro flows downward behind them. The Stevens Dynasty stops midway on the entrance ramp and holds up the Tag Team and Trios Championships as fireworks and confetti shoot off all around the Wrestle-Plex.

Cary Stevens:
Greatest Tag Team ever!

Stevens says into the camera as he leads his team to the ring and as they enter the flames from the turnbuckles come alive as another golden pyro waterfall begins to rain down into the ring as the Stevens Dynasty holds up all the gold.

Angus:
Seriously?

DDK:
What?

Angus:
We waisted ten minutes on this shit. We could’ve been doing something more productive than having the Inbred Dynasty jerk each other off for the last ten minutes.

As Angus continues to rip into the Dynasty, Cary has a mic in hand.

Cary Stevens:
Hello, New Orleans.

Cary says and the Faithful boo the patriarch of the Stevens clan.

Angus:
Yes, boo that man.

However, the boos do not seem to faze Cary as he has a Kodak smile plastered onto his face.

Cary Stevens:
Thanks for the love, you Filth, because we hate you too!

Cary says as the Faithful boo even louder and chant the Stevens family’s favorite chant and Cary just chuckles.

DDK:
The patriarch continues to be unfazed by the Faithful here tonight.

Cary Stevens:
You know something Bo… George…

The tag champions look at Cary and shrug.

Cary Stevens:
I never thought in a million years I would ever hear myself say; I’m happy to be in New Orleans, but I’m happy to be in this shitty ass town!

Cary says joyfully and the jeers intensify.

FUCK YOU STEVENS! Clap x 5
FUCK YOU STEVENS! Clap x 5
FUCK YOU STEVENS! Clap x 5

DDK:
Is Cary trying to start a riot?

Angus:
I hope so, I'd love to these morons get trampled.

Cary just smiles and laughs as nothing can seem to change his joyous mood.

Cary Stevens:
At Ascension, we proved to the world that not only are my boys the best team in DEFIANCE Wrestling, but we proved they are the best tag team in the whole wide world!

Cary says as the crowd boos.

Cary Stevens:
You can boo all you want, but these titles say otherwise. Hold them up, boys!

Cary says to his son and nephew as Bo and George hold up the Tag and Trios gold as the Faithful continues to boo.

Cary Stevens:
We are like Hurricane Katrina.

Angus:
... ughhh!

Cary Stevens:
Nothing can stop us.

Cary says with a smirk as the crowd gets almost violent.

Angus:
Did that motherfucker just go there?

DDK:
Angus, language! But yes, I believe he did.

Cary laughs at the crowd.

Cary Stevens:
Hell, even when the levees break we won’t be washed away because when you’re the best you’re the only thing left standing!

Angus:
If the Faithful storm the ring; I got my popcorn ready.

As the Faithful’s hatred continues to grow Cary continues to stir the pot.

Cary Stevens:
FEMA couldn’t save you and it damn sure can’t save the tag division.

Angus:
These fools are gonna get shanked and I’m going to smile and laugh when it happens.

DDK:
We may need to have security on high alert here. This could get ugly quick.

The hatred reaches a boiling point as bottles and trash begin to fly into the ring and security is holding fans back from jumping the guardrail.

Cary Stevens:
Since our greatness extends beyond this cesspool known as DEFIANCE Wrestling these champions will be known going further as the Undisputed Better Than You Championships because we are simply better than any of the teams here in DEFIANCE. We are better than any team around the world, and we are simply better than all you filth in this arena. Just like Harvey made Katrina it’s bitch we made DEFIANCE ours and there is no one who can stop us!

Cary says bluntly as he slams down the mic and looks to join his family in the celebration dedicated to their awesomeness.  However, the party would just have to wait a little bit longer.

Albrecht:
Genug von diesem verdammten Müll…

DDK:
Looks like someone besides you has had enough of the bragging, Angus.

Angus:
The only time a German invasion is welcome.

The sultry Lorelei Albrecht marches out to the velvet rope with a microphone in hand and she isn’t pleased; one bit.  Cary chuckles confidently, not at all worried.

Cary Stevens:
She definitely isn’t on the list.

Blonde:
Name?

Albrecht:
Fick dich.

Angus:
How do you spell that?  I'm going to use Google translate.

DDK:
I know that one and you cannot say it on air.

Angus:
It's never stopped me before.

The blond hostess looks over her list and back to Lorelei, only to get shot a look of pure and utter contempt.

Lorelei:
Get zhis schtupidity out of mein vay…

Lorelei kicks over the velvet rope and starts down the entrance.

Cary Stevens:
Hey hey hey!  Someone stop her!

Security team member Lawrence steps into Lorelei’s path and promptly has the taste slapped from his mouth, putting him on his ass on the ramp. 

DDK:
I felt that over here.

Angus:
Not bad.  Was slapped harder at the bar, last night.

DDK:
I, honestly, believe that.

Lorelei continues past him and stops at the bottom of the ramp.

Albrecht:
You hafe mate a grafe mistake, Heir Stevens.  You daret to mein skin.

Cary Stevens:
And you need lotion, toots.

Albrecht:
A Krime of zee vorst kint.  Vun punischable only by deaz…

Cary and the rest of the Stevens fake being terrified before bursting out in laughter.

Angus:
Put them in the gas chamber!

DDK:
ANGUS! For the love of -- I can’t believe you just said that!

Cary Stevens:
We are shaking in our boots, aren’t we boys?  Your boy and that ass clown Harmen couldn’t get the job done.  Save your threats for someone who actually gives a damn.

A devilish grin comes over the flawless German’s face.

Albrecht:
In zhat kase, let our akschuns schpeak for us.

Coming through the DEFIANCE Faithful, Pietro Geist hurdles the security barrier and starts towards the ring.  He is not alone, though. Matching his movements is another massive blond man, this one with an American flag design painted on his face.

Angus:
Blitzkrieg!

Lorelei sarcastically waves at Carys, as Geist and his ally slide into the ring and blindside the tag champions with Geist laying out George while the newcomer wipes out Bo.

DDK:
Wait, a second, I know him!

Angus:
You do?

DDK:
That’s Mack Brody!  Pietro Geist’s best friend and tag partner!

Cary hightails it towards the nearest corner and watches in horror, while his son and nephew get pummelled.

Angus:
All these blondes running around... it’s like a Nazi supersoldier project out here!

Brody yanks Bo up violently before sending him flipping back down to the mat with a ripcord lariat.

DDK:
Ecstacy of Gold!!!

Angus:
Break his sister-kissing jaw!

Hammerfists, punches, and elbows of all kinds batter George’s head and face.  Geist forces George to stand, despite the huge Stevens’ legs barely being able to keep him upright.  A quick bounce off the ropes and George is nearly decapitated by Geist’s downright unholy lariat.

DDK:
Enthauptung!!!

Angus:
Take that, special ed!

With both members of the Tag Team Champions showing zero signs of life, Geist and Brody look to the only Stevens left.  Cary turns white as a ghost, as the idea of pain, lots and lots of pain enter his mind. The two monstrous blondes slowly approach him.

DDK:
I do NOT want to be in Cary’s shoes right now.

Angus:
If this is a dream, don’t wake me, Keebs.

Brody and Geist are just about to get their hands on Cary, when an unexpected visitor comes to his rescue, making the entire arena boo.  Scott Stevens pulls his father out of the ring to safety.

Angus:
That sheep-fuc…

DDK:
Angus!

They scurry up the ramp, with the rest of the family staggering and stumbling after them.  Lorelei joins her two associates in the ring and the sinister smile still stretches across her face.

Albrecht:
Schtefens klan, you vill all learn zee meanink of zee vort PAIN!

Angus:
Hell yes!  The only good Stevens is a dead Stevens.  Release the holocaust on them!

DDK:
Angus!  No! You CAN'T SAY THAT!

Cary and Lorelei trade evil glares, as Scott drags him to the back.  As the Stevens make their exit, someone else makes their entrance. Kelly Evans positions herself at the top of the stage with a microphone in hand and an uncomfortable Capital Punishment trailing behind.

DDK:
The Executive Producer of DEFIANCE, ladies and gentlemen.  It's a rare occasion that we see Kelly Evans ... much less in the arena!

Angus:
Hooray…

Evans:
Are these the type of competitors you bring to my show, Capital Punishment?  Anarchists, that think they can just do whatever they please?

Angus:
That's practically the whole roster!

DDK:
shhhhhh!

Capital Punishment looks at the trio in the ring and then, sighs before looking down at the floor.  He knows very well that both Geist and Brody were brought in by him.

Evans:
Geist, you have appeared less than five times on our shows, and only once, was it competing in the ring.  You even dared to hop the barrier and attack DEFIANTS before you were under contract! Now, you bring your little friend with you ... and wreak havoc.  I am not sure where you two have competed before DEFIANCE, but here, we handle things the way they are supposed to be handled… IN THE RING.

Angus:
How can you possibly scold anyone trying to kill the Stevens?  I told you, Keebs. She is on the take!

DDK:
Something tells me this is more about Capital Punishment than it is the situation in the ring.

Evans:
You wish to fight?

Not ones to back down from any fight, Geist and Brody get hyped by the possibility and begin shoving each other like a pair of energized frat boys.  Lorelei remains ice-cold, while staring a hole through Kelly. Kelly isn't fazed.

Brody:
Bring it on, babe!

DDK:
I would say that is a resounding “yes”.

Kelly doesn’t take kindly to being disrespectfully called “babe” by Mack or the way Lorelei is looking at her.

Evans:
Wish granted.  Mack Brody, Pietro Geist, you will be in action against al four members of the Viking War Cult in a Tornado Tag Match.  Get an official out here, as this match starts right now!

Angus:
What?  This is a bunch of bullshit!

DDK:
Well, partner ... seems like these two are itching for a fight. Kelly Evans just scratched that itch.

Angus:
How do you punish anyone for wanting to kill a Stevens? Especially by feeding them to the Viking War Cult! My disgust aside ... this is gonna be a bloodbath! It should be great! 

With the executive order made, Kelly returns to the backstage area through the curtain. Capital Punishment can only shrug and mouth that he is sorry to the trio, before disappearing behind the curtain himself. 

STP vs. VIKING WAR CULT

Lorelei slips out to the floor, as her massive associates stand tall in the ring, watching the VWC confidently make their way to the ring.  Making the match Four on two surely stacks the deck in their favor. Just as Lorelei reaches the floor, official Hector Navarro hurries into the ring and calls for the bell.

DING DING!

DDK:
Here we go!

Angus:
This is bullshit and you know it, Keebs.  After this, I hope Lorelei slaps Kelly the way she did Lawrence.

Brody looks to his most trusted ally and smiles, happy to once again be fighting by his side.

Brody:
STP at it again!  Ready to kick some motherfucking ass, Slasher?

Geist’s stone face cracks, as he grins back at him.

Geist:
Scheiße ja.

Not ones to wait, Geist and Brody exit opposite sides of the ring and meet their opponents at the bottom of the ramp.  The duo bring the fight right to their Norse foes, despite the numbers game not being in their favor, slugging away at anything that moves.

DDK:
Four on two or four hundred on two, I don’t think it matters to Brody and Geist at all!

Angus:
If only it was the Stevens in their sights...

To the surprise of everyone, Mack and Pietro start to overpower the four Vikings with punches and elbows of every shape and size.  Not long after, the huge Torvald finds himself tumbling into the crowd courtesy of a clothesline by Brody, while Geist just flat out heaves Cul over the barrier, easily three rows deep into the crowd.

DDK:
That’ll even the numbers some.

Floki and Ivar try to battle back, but the STP is just too much for them.  Geist hoists Floki up onto his shoulder for what looks to be a British Bulldog style powerslam.  However, he charges towards his ally, who Irish whips Ivar in their direction. Using his opponent as a weapon, Pietro fires Floki headfirst into his brother, causing them to crash horrifically into each other.

DDK:
Yikes, you could hear their skulls collide all the way over here!

Angus:
Call the circus, Keebs.  I think they may be conjoined twins now.

Torvald looks to re-enter the fray, but just as he got his left leg over the barrier, Geist put him down in a heap with a Superman forearm shot to the jaw. 

DDK:
Wham!  Back down goes Torvald.

Geist looks back to his teammate, who has Cul by the hair and is blasting him in the mouth with right hands.  The STP grip him by the armpits and lift him up so he is standing on the barrier. A single look from Brody is all it takes for Geist to know what he had in mind.  Once again, their enemy turns into a weapon at their disposal. This time, the two blondes send Cul soaring across the ramp, over the opposite barrier, and crashing into Torvald, who had just gotten up to one knee.

Angus:
I could have sworn Vikings sailed everywhere.

DDK:
They did.

Angus:
Then, why are they flying all around here?

Mack and Pietro waste no time in going after the twins.  Ivar is first. He finds the two stampeding right at him and they slam into him with stereo football tackles, sending him flying ten feet through the air and into the steel steps, knocking them over.

DDK:
Jesus, it was like Ivar was hit by a freight train.

The other Holmstrom is still wobbly from his head colliding with his brother's and then, the floor.  The STP pounce upon him and send him rolling into the ring. Predators to the core, they follow their prey in and are nearly foaming at the mouth with anticipation of what's to come.

DDK:
Floki is in deep deep trouble.

Angus:
Watch for lightning, as Thor might be coming to his rescue.

DDK:
Seriously?

Angus:
Then, he is about to get fucked up big time...

DDK:
Angus! 

As soon as Floki gets vertical, Geist sends him racing to the ropes.  Pietro backdrops him high into the air. Instead of plunging to the mat, Floki lands on Brody's shoulders, who nearly drives him through the mat with a powerbomb.

DDK:
That powerbomb’s impact echoed through the arena.

Mack's grip never loosens.  He pulls Floki up from the mat, putting him back up on his shoulders, before racing towards his German teammate.  Holmstrom is once again the ball in a game of catch between the STP. This time Geist catches him, only to deposit him with a German suplex.

Angus:
More flying Vikings.

DDK:
The power of these two is uncanny!  They are playing catch with a grown man!

Feeding off each other's energy and brutality, Geist and Brody go forehead to forehead, snarling and roaring the entire time.  Geist extends his fist and Brody extends his to it. Just as their fists touch, they violently pull their hands away.

Angus:
See?  Why can’t this be the Stevens catching this beatdown?  That’s what we all want!

Finally escaping the crowd and reaching ringside, Cul surveys the damage and cannot believe his eyes, as the Holmstrom Twins are nothing more than broken masses of flesh.  Torvald joins his Norse brethren and the duo look up to find their enemies glaring down at them. Brody draws an imaginary time in the sand with his foot, while his teammate motions to the Vikings to enter the ring.

Geist:
Kommen sie...

Brody:
Valhalla doesn't let in pussies, you Ostmen fucks.

Those words don't sit well with the VWC and they dash into the ring.  The team pair off with Geist battling Torvald and Brody going toe-to-toe with Cul.  The pairs position themselves in opposite corners. Pietro's combat training displays itself, as he batters Torvald's torso and head with a seemingly never-ending barrage of lefts and rights.

DDK:
Geist turning Torvald into a punching bag Angus.

Angus:
Just imagine that being that fat bastard George… the thought of that is almost better than the chick waiting for me after the show.

DDK:
What "chick"?

Angus:
No further questions at this time!

Not as skilled that area as his brother-in-arms, Brody just unloads with haymaker after haymaker.  Each one rocks Cul's head back as if he was struck with the homerun swing of a bat. Both Vikings were on spaghetti legs and seeing all sorts of stars and tweety birds swirling around their heads.

DDK:

The Vikings appear to be on dream street.

Angus:
And are about to encounter a nightmare from Elm street.

A whistle from Brody signals to Geist and they dart past each other to simultaneously deliver charging, leaping Yakuza kicks.

DDK:
Is that a tooth?

Angus:
I hope so, Keebs!

While Cul slumps down in the corner, Torvald is shoved out to the middle of the ring.  Pietro and Mack angrily slice their throats with their thumbs and point to the discombobulated Viking in the middle of the ring.  They turn the huge Torvald inside out, as Geist hits a leaping European uppercut and Brody delivers a chop block.

DDK:
Torvald was turned inside out by Brody and Geist!

Always on the same wavelength, the STP rise in unison and turn to the remaining member of the Viking War Cult.  Cul looks up at the pair, the world still slightly spinning and completely out of focus from the boot being driven harshly into his jaw.  He needs another few moments to recover, but he surely doesn't get it.

DDK:
STP looking to finish off the remaining Vikings.

The STP swarm Cul.  He is violently pulled up to his feet just so the duo can take turns dishing out more punishment.  Pinned in the corner, the VWC's leader is nothing more than a human punching bag. Cul's only moving ally, Ivar, slips into the ring and immediately starts clobbering Brody and Geist in the back with clubbing blows.

DDK:
Ivar’s blow have no effect.

Angus:
Yeah they mostly just are pissing them off Keebs. 

Not happy to be interrupted, Pietro and Mack turn around and Ivar suddenly has the gravity of the situation hit him. The Viking tries to retreat, but Brody keeps pace.  Just as Ivar reaches the opposite corner, Brody grabs him by the back of his tights and pulls him back into a right-handed forearm to the back of the head that rattles Ivar's brains.  Mack grabs him for what looks like a belly-to-back suplex. Instead of slamming him, Brody tosses him high into the air, causing Ivar to backflip. Geist explodes into the picture and spears the upside-down Viking out of the air.

Angus:
Holy shit! Ivar’s fucking dead!

HOLY SHIT!
HOLY SHIT!
HOLY SHIT!

Instincts kick in for Cul and his autopilot leads him to stand up and stagger out of the corner.  He is just three steps out of the corner when Brody sends him flying back into the corner harshly with a John Woo style dropkick. Geist once again slices his throat with his thumb and then gives his ally the thumbs up.  That's all the instruction Brody needs. He races out to the apron and starts to climb the turnbuckle, as Geist drags the lifeless Cul up and proceeds to position him for what looks to be a powerbomb.

DDK:
STP are looking to end it here.

Angus:
Thank Jeebus, for the Viking sake. 

DDK:
That would be Odin.

Angus:
Whatever. 

Pietro lifts the Viking up from his shoulders as if he is going for a Last Ride.  However, there is no powerbomb at the end of this. Instead, Mack dives off the top with a spear, sending Cul flipping to the mat.

DDK:
The big man showing his acrobatic skills with that diving spear!

The broken bodies of the Viking War Cult litter the ring and ringside area.  Brody slides over into a cover with both hands on Cul's chest. He can't stop himself from doing push-ups in time with the referee's count.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!!!

With the situation supremely handled, Lorelei confidently ascends the steel steps and joins the STP in the ring.  The pure enjoyment she gets from watching the boys bring Ragnarok to the Vikings could be seen all over her face. She clings to Geist's waist and looks up at him like a fangirl and her dream guy.  While the two Germans are doing all that lovey-dovey stuff, Brody strolls up to the closest camera.

Brody:
Geist and Brody together again!  Stevens boys! All of Defiance! Get ready to get fucked up!

DDK:
An ominous message sent to every team a DEFIANCE especially the Tag Team Champions, The Stevens Dynasty.

Angus:
I’m looking forward to seeing them get fuc --

DDK:
I think you reached your f-word limit, Angus.

Angus:
That's not a thing!  

Brody joins his buddies in the middle of the ring to bask in their victory.

Cut to commercial.

COMMERCIAL BREAK: BRAZEN

BRAZEN - Where the next generation CLASH!

ACE IN THE HOLE

Cut back from commercial. 

Lance Warner stands in the middle of the ring.

Lance Warner:
Ladies and Gentlemen! I join you here tonight with a very special announcement regarding the FIST and it’s next … Number One contender! 

The Faithful cheer, they aren’t overly excited as they don’t know exactly what they are in for but they let out a moderate pop nonetheless.

Warner:
This year, at DEFIANCE Road … I’m happy to announce the newest addition to DEFIANCE’s diverse level of competition … the ACE IN THE HOLE!! 

Angus:
The what?

The Faithful begin to cheer off instinct but it quickly dies down as everyone is curious as to what exactly that means.

Warner:
This year at DEFIANCE Road, hung high above the squared circle … the opportunity to challenge for the FIST at any place and anytime! Competitors will be chosen through several rounds of qualifying matches … starting here tonight! 

The Faithful now confidently erupt at the newly proposed idea but their pop is quickly dashed and turned to boo’s at the sound of … 

♫ “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked” by Cage the Elephant ♫

Angus:
Zee Germans forgot one … 

The video screen lights up and flashes across the screen a Texas flag, with the words, “Texas Born. Texas Bred.” “Texas Forever.“ branded into the flag. The crowd knows who is about to walk out and they are letting him know it by chanting his favorite chant as the final image that is displayed across the screen is a giant hand that slowly closes into a FIST as letters slowly appear and form a message and that message reads in bold, capitalized letters… SCOTT STEVENS.

DDK:
Scott Stevens apparently feels it necessary to interrupt this monumental announcement. 

Stevens makes his way down to the ring and enters as Lance Warner looks on confused as to what is going on.

Angus:
Ten bucks says he wants a bye.

DDK:
Scott Steven is a former FIST himself… he may ask just for that based on his former reign. 

Angus:
That’s where YOU say ‘I wish he’d say bye!’ … Jesus, Keebs. Get it together.

Scott Stevens enters the ring and approaches a confused and growingly worried Lance Warner. Lance attempts to say something to Scott Stevens but instead, he gets the microphone snatched away from him.

Scott Stevens:
How dare you not include me in this match?!?!?!?

Stevens demands to know and Lance pleads with the former FIST.

Scott Stevens:
Shut up!

Stevens shouts at Warner and Lance immediately closes his mouth.

Scott Stevens:
I mean, what do I have to get my deserved rematch? 

Stevens asks and Lance goes to say something but Stevens doesn’t give him the chance.

Scott Stevens:
Its no secret Kelly Evans has it in for me as she’s made me jump hoop after hoop after fucking hoop to make sure I never get another shot at the FIST. I mean have I been given my one on one rematch?

Stevens asks Lance who says something the Texan doesn’t like.

Scott Stevens:
You say something like that again I’m gonna smack the shit out of you!

Stevens says bluntly and the crowd boos.

Scott Stevens:
You and this Filth booing me know damn well having a contendership matches with Burns, Mikey, and Kendrix isn’t a one on one rematch is it...IS IT?!?!?!?

Stevens asks more violently and Lance shakes his head no.  

Scott Stevens:
Good boy. So when I put this microphone to your lips you’re going to do the right thing and include me into this match, aren’t we?

Stevens says as he raises the microphone to Warner’s mouth who replies. 

Warner:
Well … uh, actually that was my next announcement. The first qualifying match is between you and …

Scott pulls the mic back with a smirk on his face.

Stevens:
Ok, I see what’s going on here … What GREAT BRAZEN challenge do you have for me? 

Stevens shoves the mic into Lance’s chest and turns away mimicking like he is preparing for quite the battle. All the while with a devious smirk spread wide across his face.

Warner:
… Scott Douglas!

Lance barely gets it all out before dropping the mic and hastily exiting the ring. Stevens turns in shock to confront Warner but he’s gone - headed for the ramp. The Faithful have exploded and the volume doesn’t show any signs of coming down.

Angus:
No free rides, Scooter!

Stevens is fuming, thrashing around the ring, kicking the bottom rope and screaming out his discontent. 

DDK:
Well, you heard it here folks … “Sub Pop” Scott Douglas to go one on one with Scott Stevens! And DEFIANCE’s angriest Texan … is NOT happy about it! 

♫ “Smiling & Dying” by Green River ♫

DDK:
… And it looks as if it’s RIGHT NOW! 

ACE QUALIFIER: SCOTT STEVENS vs. SCOTT DOUGLAS

Scott Douglas comes through the curtain and heads straight for the ring. As he makes it about halfway, Benny Doyle comes hustling out of the back and passed Douglas on the way to the ring.

DDK:
The fanfare was cut a bit short but ACE IN THE HOLE starts now!

In the ring, Scott Stevens has had to shake off the anger and get his head into a match. It doesn’t look like he is fairing to well. 

Angus:
Let’s hope, Scotty can take Steven’s head off on his way to qualifying! 

“Sub Pop” Scott makes it the and ring and enters. Benny Doyle calls for the bell.

DING! DING!

DDK:
Here we go, folks!

The pair circle briefly as Douglas steps into lockup but he reaches out and grabs nothing as Scott Stevens drops down and rolls out of the ring. The former FIST paces back and forth at ringside, still seething. Benny Doyle begins the count as the Faithful jeer. A handful at ringside hurl insults at Stevens as he bides his time.

Angus:
Come on! Get in there and get your ass kicked! 

DDK:
This isn’t a terrible strategy here by Scott Stevens. He was obviously caught off guard and if he can’t get his emotions in check, he’s bound to make mistakes. 

Stevens feigns as if he is going to enter the ring, with one knee up on the apron, but quickly backs away. 

Angus:
If he wasn’t out here whining like a little bitch with a skint knee … he would have been in the back where someone would have told him he has a match! How about that!?  

Stevens calls for Benny Doyle to get Douglas back before he’ll enter. Scott Douglas doesn’t seem to be advancing on Stevens’ low ground but nonetheless as Doyle capitulates and the count in interrupted.

DDK:
Sportsmanship and ethics aside, I maintain this isn’t a bad strategy, Angus. Scott Stevens is essentially… icing the kicker here.

Angus:
Einhorn is Stevens. Stevens is Einhorn!  

With Douglas backed into a neutral corner opposite of Scott Stevens’ ringside position, the former FIST finally climbs back up to the apron.

DDK:
What? 

Angus:
That’s none of your damn business and I’d thank you to stay out of my personal affairs. 

Doyle insists Stevens return to the ring with Douglas clear across the other side but Stevens instead jaw jacks the official, biding more time. 

Angus:
Strategy, my ass!

Finally, Stevens enters the ring. Doyle holds a hand out signaling for Douglas to stay put until Stevens is completely in and ready. Doyle checks and a highly perturbed and petulant Scott Stevens eventually gives the “ok.”

Angus:
Finally! LETS GO! 

The Scotts approach the center of the ring and stop short of one another by a foot or so. Words are traded back and forth but they aren’t completely picked up on the camera audio. 

SMACK!!

Suddenly, Scott Stevens cocks back and open hand slaps Scott Douglas. The slap turns Douglas’ head with its force but his feet remain planted and steady. He slowly turns back to the former FIST with narrowed eyes and … the Faithful ignite.

Angus:
Now that's more like it!

DDK:
Scott Stevens and Scott Douglas are shooting it out in the middle of the ring! 

The two trade several blows back and forth until Stevens lands the final shot; stumbling Douglas back toward the ropes. Stevens follows and leans into Douglas before Irish whipping DEFIANCE’s Favorite Son across the ring. On the return, Stevens plows through Douglas with an incredible violent Lariat. Scott Douglas nearly cuts a flip before crashing down to the canvas. Instinct alone brings Scott Douglas quickly back to his feet but where the body is willing the mind hasn’t quite caught up. Dazed and confused, Douglas, not completely vertical, stumbles into a knee-trembler.

CRRAAACCCKK!!

The sound off knee brace on skull echo through the first ten rows. 

DDK:
Don’t Mess With Texas! 

Angus:
Hey! Who’s side are you on!? 

Douglas crashes to the canvas with his right hand clutching the side of his head, a small amount of blood trickles through his fingers. The paying audience boo’s the former FIST. 

DDK:
That’s what Scott Stevens calls that particular knee strike.

Angus:
Ehhh, putz! Before you ask … BOTH of YOU! 

Stevens pulls Douglas up from the mat with a handful of hair. Official Benny Doyle warns one third of the Trio’s Champions but he is ignored. Stevens pulls Douglas in and lifts him up in Vertical Suplex, sending him crashing back down as fast as he went up. Unrelenting, Stevens rolls the pair over and back up for a second. And a third. 

DDK:
Scott Stevens in full control here, yet not a single pin attempt made! 

Angus:
We both know it’ll take more than that to put down Seattle’s greasiest son, Keebs! 

Stevens knows that as well or he is still letting his anger get the best of him. Either way, he pulls Douglas back to his feet once again and whips him into the corner. Douglas hits the turnbuckles and is slumped by the impact. Stevens charges.

DDK:
Scorpion SPLASH! 

The Angry Texan crashes down on Douglas and for the former SoHer; it looks like it’s lights out. Stevens isn’t done just yet though, he backs himself to the far corner and once again comes charging toward Douglas with a head full of steam.

DDK:
And another! 

Third time for luck, it would seem as Douglas is out on his feet and supported by the ropes. Stevens backs to the far corner once more. Charges.

DDK:
And … 

Angus:
Move dumbass! 

Almost on cue, Scott Douglas does just that … or at least he collapses away from the splash zone. Scott Stevens comes crashing down on the turnbuckle at a high angle.

Angus:
Holy shit! Did he hear me!?

DDK:
I highly doubt it but going back to the well one too many times has come back to bite Scott Stevens! He should have put this one to bed when he had the chance! Now he may not get that chance! I’m not so sure he didn’t get a piece of that ring post with his head! 

Stevens stumbles back from the corner as Douglas pulls himself up from a knee with the help of the ropes. Stevens has clearly rung his own bell and looks to be on his way down already when Scott Douglas leaps toward him with a knee strike intended for the head but may have caught more of the shoulder. Both hit the canvas and after a quick welfare check, Benny Doyle starts the standing ten. 

ONE! 

DDK:
This is anyone’s match! Scott Stevens has neutralized Scott Douglas … well and Scott Stevens! 

Stevens' right eyebrow begins to show a little color as it mixes with the sweat a small stream trickles down the side of his face.

TWO! 

Scott Douglas is stirring but he isn’t yet making any attempt at a return to vertical standing. 

THREE! 

Scott Stevens has yet to make any move or motion that would imply consciousness.

FOUR! 

Douglas inches himself toward Angus’ Least Favorite Texan but remains down.

FIVE! 

Douglas flings an arm over Scott Stevens. The Faithful boil over with hope and anticipation.

DDK:
COVER! 

Doyle stops the ten count and drops down from the pin attempt. 

ONE! 

TW -- 

KICK OUT! 

Doyle signals toward Douglas the incomplete count, Douglas doesn’t seem to register it but he also isn’t arguing it. He crawls on his hands and knees to the nearest rope and pulls himself to his feet. He is vertical but ailing as he tries to physically shake the cobwebs loose. All the while Stevens is getting to his feet on the opposite side of the ring, moving a little better but looks just as worse for the wear. 

Angus:
Knock his stupid Texan head off!

The dazed pair stumble toward the center of the ring and meet once again in the middle … Douglas cocks back and throws a punch. It’s weak and from the onset looks to completely ineffectual but we never get to find out as an equally weak block from Stevens stops its attempt. Stevens returns fire and much like Douglas’ last volley, this doesn’t look like it would do much even if it landed.

DDK:
Douglas ducks! 

A toe kick from Douglas folds Stevens in half and Sub Pop grabs the standing side headlock. His grip is weak and both men are on spaghetti legs as he pulls Stevens right arm over his own head. It’s sloppy, but that is the set up.

DDK:
This could be it, partner! Sub Pop Suplex! 

As Darren suggests, Douglas attempts. The first lift doesn’t quite have the strength behind it and Stevens ends up back on his feet momentarily. A struggle ensues between attempts but a quick knee to the midsection while tied up in set up of the hold allows for a follow up. Scott Douglas bares down … 

DDK:
SUB POP SUPLEX!!

The Faithful go wild as Scott drives Scott’s head into the canvas with what might be the worst looking Fisherman’s Brainbuster ever aired on DEFIANCE TV. 

Angus:
COVER HIM YOU IDIOT! 

Douglas flips over and covers Stevens as Doyle drops down to make the count. 

ONE!
 

Scott Douglas hedges his bet and reaches for the leg.

TWO! 

Hooks it.

THREE!!! 

DING DING DING

The Faithful nearly tears the roof off the Wrestle-Plex.

DDK:
Scott Douglas wins! … and qualifies for the ACE in The HOLE!!

A slightly bloody Scott Douglas rolls off a similarly slightly blood Scott Stevens and manages to make it to his knees for Benny Doyle to raise his hand in victory.

Darren Quimbey:

And your winner by way of PINFALL … and first qualifier for the ACE IN THE HOLE … “Sub POP” SCOTTTTT DOOOOUUUGLASSSSSS!!!! 

Angus:
Took him long enough to put away that moron! 

Doyle drops Douglas’ hand and rather than attempt to stand he just falls to side and rolls to the apron. 

DDK:
Hell of a match and I think I speak for nearly everyone here in attendance … we’d all LOVE to see DEFIANCE’s Favorite Son in the running for the FIST of DEFIANCE!

Douglas is slowly making his exit as Stevens has come to in the ring… and he is none too pleased. 

Angus:
I'm guessing you don’t speak for him … 

Stevens rolls out of the ring and grabs the microphone from Darren Quimbey

Scott Stevens:
This is fucking bullshit! 

Stevens yells as the Faithful boo as the Texan holds the back of his head.

Scott Stevens:
Shut the fuck up Filth!

Stevens says as he snatches a cup of beer from a fan and tosses it back into his face.

Scott Stevens:
You see that bullshit, Kelly Evans?!?!?!?!? 

Stevens shouts as he doubles over breathing heavily into the microphone.

Scott Stevens:
Scott Douglas is a CHEATER!

Stevens shouts and the jeers intensify.

Scott Stevens:
Douglas kneed me in the nuts….. 

Stevens says still heavily breathing.

Scott Stevens:
Make this right Kelly!

Stevens shouts and spits at a disorderly fan.

Scott Stevens:
DISQUALIFY HIS ASS AND GIVE ME WHAT I DESERVE!

Stevens says as he heads up the ramp.

DDK:
Stevens being a sore loser and coming up with excuses to justify his loss. 

Angus:
I know Keebs! If he had nuts, to begin with, I might believe him, but he doesn’t so he can go home and take the sand out of his vagina there and pout in private.

Cut to commercial.

COMMERCIAL BREAK: UNCUT

Your bi-weekly source for all things DEFIANCE! Tune in, for the UNCUT, NO HOLDS BARRED DEFIANCE! 

BACK TO THE GRINDSTONE

The camera pans backstage to the interview backdrop…

And it isn’t any old person.

It’s two persons. 

“Manpower” Jack Mace and “Bantam” Ryan Batts aka The WrestleFriends! Batts has a smile on his face, adjusting his yellow cape while behind him, big Jack Mace has on a fancy white fur pelt. 

Ryan Batts:
Hey, Faithful! I’m Ryan Batts! This is Jack Mace. And together, we are…

Batts and Mace:
The WrestleFriends!

The crowd pops as Mace chimes in. 

Jack Mace:
For the last little while, Batts and I have been fighting a lot of good fights with our FIST of DEFIANCE and mentor, Oscar Burns. We’ve been fighting in singles action. I had a run as the BRAZEN Champion. 

Ryan Batts:
And I’ve had shots at the FIST and the SoHer in recent months and while we came up short, Mace and I have been showing the world what we’re made of. But tonight, it’s time that we get back to what we were made to do… we’re heading back full time to the tag team division and we’re NOT going to stop until we get to the top!

Jack Mace:
Aye, mates! We came so close to the World Tag Team Titles long ago, but we’re back full time, we’re focused and reenergized! Stevens Dynasty have the gold now, but we’ve beaten them before at DEFCON and we want our shot, too! We’re…

???:
Nuh, you ain’t doin’ anything.

The camera turned back further… 

“Brother” Lucius Owens. Roosevelt Owens. Theo Baylor. The Neighborhoodlum. 

No Justice, No Peace. 

Lucius Owens:
You two have been taking up more opportunities than the three of us can count. You, Macey, had a run as BRAZEN Champion but all of you combined… haven’t won anything major in some time. 

Mace eyed the trio and then Owens.

Jack Mace:
Maybe our luck hasn’t been the best, mate, but tonight seems like a good night to get back to the grind and start doing what we do best… saving DEFIANCE from people like you that want to further their own agenda.

Batts tapped Mace on the shoulder. 

Ryan Batts:
Yeah. Maybe we haven’t won the proverbial “big one” in the tag team division, but it sure beats hanging around backstage at catering, complaining about how much people owe you something. 

Theo Baylor:
HOW ‘BOUT I WRING YOUR FUCKING NECK, SHORT-SHIT?!

Lucius holds him back while the massive Roosevelt looks down at Ryan and Jack. 

Roosevelt Owens:
Me and Hoodie versus you two… tonight!

The Neighborhoodlum:
You boys got the nuts to face us?

Batts and Mace look at one another and then nod before Batts smiles. 

Ryan Batts:
Oh… we were hoping you’d ask. We’ll see you in the ring boys… BY OUR WRESTLEPOWERS COMBINED…

Batts and Mace:
WE ARE THE WRESTLEFRIENDS!

The two bump fists, sling their respective capes and turn tail and leave. The loose cannon Theo Baylor turns to Owens. 

Theo Baylor:
The fuck we don’t just stomp these fuckers right now?

Lucius Owens:
Save it for the ring, Theo. They’re right. If we want opportunities, we handle it in the ring… THEN we stomp them out. 

A collective laugh from the foursome as the scene fades elsewhere. 

ACE QUALIFIER: THE D vs. REINHARDT HOFFMAN

Cut back to the ring. Darren Quimbey standing by.

Darren Quimbey:
The following contest is scheduled for one fall … and is a ACE in the HOLE Qualifier! 

♫Dvořák Symphony No. 9 in E Minor, Op. 95 'From the New World' IV♫

Darren Quimbey:
Introducing first … hailing from Duesseldorf, Germany, weighing in at two hundred and thirty-five pounds… REINHARDT… HOOOOOFFFFFMAAN!

Reinhardt Hoffman steps out from the back, as he stands sturdy, tall and proud at the top of the ramp. He looks over the sea of the Faithful for a moment before making his way toward the ring.

Angus:
Now, there is a man who will not play around with The D! 

Reinhardt jumps up onto the ring apron and climbs the nearest turnbuckle to the middle rope, arms up. 

Darren Quimbey:
And his opponent ...

♫ “I’m So Humble” by Lonely Island ♫

Darren Quimbey:
… from Culver City, California, standing five foot nine and weighing in at one hundred and seventy-six pounds … THEEEEEEE D! 

A flashing strobe light spotlight lands on the top of the DEFIANCE WrestlePlex, as the D emerges out from the backstage area. He adjusts his monocle and, with the help of his manager and girlfriend, strips off his three piece suit to reveal traditional wrestling trunks. Flex Kruger steps out, flexing, but quickly his joyful expression turns rancid as O-Face throws the D’s discarded clothes at him. The D stomps to the ring with O-Face on his arm.

Angus:
This oughta be quick! 

DING DING

DDK:
Not so fast, Angus. Believe it or not The D has a pinfall victory over Reinhardt Hoffman in the past.

Angus:
I don’t believe it.

Reinhardt looks for the lock up early but The D isn’t having it. He quickly swings his upper half through the ropes and calls for the Benny Doyle to intervene on his behalf. Doyle does so and gets between the aggressive Hoffman and his would be victim. Doyle backs of the German War Machine and once clear, The D swings back to the right side of the ropes. 

Angus:
The D is between a rock and a hard place. Hoffman’s the rock that’s going to bash his skull into that hard place.

DDK:
It’s ok, Angus. Analogies are hard.

Angus:
So am I at Reinhardt about to go HOSS all over the D!

Once again, the match can start. Hoffman initiates a lock up and after a slight struggle for dominance, he drives The D into the corner. The D quickly throws his hands up as Doyle breaks it up. Backing the intimidating Hoffman away once again. The D is quite pleased with his antics and especially how it is affecting his opponent. Reinhardt is steaming and has had enough. Just as Doyle stands clear Hoffman charges The D but The D is slippery. He ducks and rolls out of the way, leaving Hoffman to run directly into the turnbuckle. The D returns to his feet and wags a finger at the back of Hoffman with a smug grin spread across his face. 

Hoffman turns slowly and his fuming expression changes The D’s quickly. As Hoffman stomps toward The D, this time slower and more deliberate, though equally as terrifying … The D decides he pressed his luck on too many times and bails out of the ring. He finds a briefly lived safety among The O Face and Flex Kruger but Hoffman decides to follow. Hoffman takes to the apron and climbs down where he gets Flex Kruger shoved toward him. The two BRAZEN stars stand face to face.

DDK:
These two are familiar with one another! Flex took Reinhardt’s BRAZEN championship from him, and Reinhardt hasn’t been the same since!

Angus:
Yeah! But these days, in the BRAZEN training gym Flex is Hoffman’s punching bag!

While Flex stares down the angry German, The D slinks off but this doesn’t go unnoticed by Hoffman. He shoves Flex aside and takes off after The D. The two break into a full sprint and round the ring where The D slides inside and quickly gets to his feet. Hoffman comes in behind him and before he can even think of climbing to his feet, The D puts the boots to him. 

Angus:
Finally some action! 

The D keeps laying in the footwork keeping Hoffman ground before dropping back, springing off the ropes and lands a knee to Hoffman’s head. Hoffman flips from his knees to his back and The D returns to the ropes once again and returns with a falling knee strike.

DDK:
The D has to stay on Hoffman here! Momentum is his friend.

Angus:
The D has no friends, Keebs.

The D makes a half-hearted cover. 

ONE! 

Hoffman kicks out with ease but he’s still a bit rattled from the multiple headshots. The D pulls the former BRAZEN champ up from matt and hooks him for a vertical suplex. The D wrenches back to lift the larger man but Hoffman hooks the ankle. The D tries again, still no go. His grip loosens and Hoffman shoves him off and immediately lunges forward with a huge lariat. The D ducks under and turns around to meet Hoffman as he does the same. 

DDK:
HUGE DROPKICK by The D! 

Hoffman goes down as the Faithful’s attention turns to the rampway. The camera catch up to reveal Kerry Kuroyama stomping down with a steel chair in hand.

DDK:
This is what we feared might happen, partner!

Angus:
Feared!? I HOPED! 

Flex Kruger takes notice and approaches Kerry toward the bottom of the ramp but he’s met with the chair’s backrest in the gut. Flex doubles over and Kerry gives him another, this time flat across the back. Flex goes down. The O Face quietly backs around the other side of the ring putting some distance between Kerry and her self. The D picks up on what's happening at ringside and turns his attention to Kuroyama as he makes his way up the ring steps. Benny Doyle rushes in to beg off Kerry. 

Angus:
This is about to be so good! 

Kerry, somewhat gently, pushes Doyle to the ride as he enters the ring and approaches The D. Rather than run, The D steps face to face with the seething Pacific Blitzkrieg. 

DDK:
The D must have a screw loose! It’s obvious that Kerry Kuroyama is not here to have a delightful conversation! 

Angus: [defeated]
No, the idiot knows if K-Cups touches him, he qualifies. 

Angus may be right as The D now not only taunts but dares Kerry to attack, exposing his chin toward Kuroyama. Benny Doyle, keeping an arms reach from the action, is still attempting to regain order as Reinhardt Hoffman pulls himself to his feet on the other side of the pair.

DDK:
We are going to need security.

Angus:
Hold on, hold on … you gotta take the good with the bad, Keebs. Let’s let K-Cuppy hit him first! 

DDK:
You can’t be serious.

Angus:
Heeyyy… if the prick is gonna advance on a technicality, split him open for our troubles!

As the tension in the ring builds to a fever pitch, Kerry's hand wrenching the leg of the steel chair, The D nearly begging to be hit, Doyle barking orders and the Faithfull going wild with anticipation. A now recovered Flex Kruger climbs up on the apron but holds fast as The D motions to do so.

And then … 

Kerry turns away from The D. The Faithful are deflated, Doyle is relieved and The D seems amused. He keeps pushing Kerry’s buttons, and SPITS at the back of his head

The D turns away and throws his hands into the air in victory. He turns back to Kerry, jaw jacking…

CRRRRRAAAACCCCCKKKKK

DDK:
Oh my! 

Kerry bashes The D with steel chair, crumpling him to the mat. The Faithful explode with excitement, obviously not thinking about the consequences of Kerry’s actions. 

Angus:
AHH! That’s nice. 

Benny Doyle immediately calls for the bell and kneels down to check on The D. 

DING DING DING

Angus:
Alright, now I have buyers remorse. 

Reinhardt Hoffman now to his feet looks none too pleased but decides to wash his hands of the entire thing. Waving it off as he exits the ring. 

Darren Quimbey:
And your winner and second qualifier for the ACE in the HOLE … by disqualification … THEEEE D!!! 

The Faithful unleash the boo’s. The D hears none of it. Kerry doesn’t seem to register it. Flex gripping his midsection attempts to climb the apron only to realize what has happened. 

DDK:
Well, folks. I don’t think that is the way anyone wants to win a match …

Angus:
Except for that putz! Keurig was out for blood … he was going to take that shot one way or another, might as well get something out of it.

Kerry stands stoic in the middle of the ring, one leg of the chair still gripped in his right hand as Flex and The O Face attempt to collect The D without getting in chair swinging range. 

The D:
Yo Adriane, I did it.

O-Face:
Are you seein’ some girl named Adriane?!?

Cut to commercial.

COMMERCIAL BREAK: DEFonDEMAND

Subscribe to DEFonDEMAND today! DEFY CABLE! 

THE PARTY THAT NEVER STOPS

The scene returns to the announce booth where “Downtown” Darren Keebler and Angus Skaaland are looking to get back on track after the commercial break.

DDK:
Thank you to our friends at… (squints) SportsClips?

Angus:
GORRAM, is that a real place?

DDK:
It sure is and according to this live read if you download the SportsClips app and use the promo code ANGUS. That’s ANGUS, in all caps, you can receive 10% off your first MVP Experience.

Angus:
Who approved this bullshit?

DDK:
I don’t make those decisions, I just read the cards. Also, a note to everyone who for some reason is still paying attention to this, the neck and shoulder treatment are not available in Oregon, Massachusetts, Utah, and Washington State. Please visit the app for SportsClips.com for more details.

Angus:
Why!?

♫ “The Emperor’s New Clothes” by Panic! At The Disco ♫

The lights in the arena change to gold with white strobes by the entrance as the crowd jumps to their feet to see the Southern Heritage Champion. Gold and silver flake confetti falls from the rafters as Elise Ares struts out into the WrestlePlex to thunderous applause. Her trademark LED sunglasses flash “PARTY TIME” in gold, perfectly complimenting an outfit that resembles a ring leader? Except, of course, it’s a little slutty. Actually, it’s a lot slutty. She twirls a baton recklessly before pointing it back towards the entrance, where Klein leads a veritable “Who’s That?” of Hollywood follows her down towards the ring in a hastily assembled parade of drunken washed up celebs.

Angus:
Oh… my… Lord.

DDK:
Is that Dustin Diamond?

Angus:
And… Pee Wee Herman? I think I’m going to vomit. Wait, wait, is that the kid from Zathura?

DDK:
No way, that kid has Hunger Games money now, he wouldn’t hang out with Elise. Wait, do you mean the younger one!? Yeah, it might be.

Angus:
There was a younger one? I was talking about Kristen Stewart.

DDK:
Yeah, that’s a lot more likely.

Elise pulls a flash out from the inside of her jacket pocket and takes a swig before winking at a virgin in the front row and rolling into the ring. She pulls the jacket open once she gets to her feet, revealing the SOHER around her waist and only a black bikini top underneath. Inside the ring are three circular tables and chairs, each with a buckets of Barefoot Wine on ice used as centerpieces and a giant poster of Elise Ares wearing the SOHER as a top and her normal ring tights that says “A YEAR OF ELISE ARES.”

DDK:
Where did all that stuff come from?

Angus:
We were so distracted by this nonsense they snuck an entire set into the ring!

Klein leads the red carpet of F-List Celebs as they begin to take their place at the party. Johnny Fairplay grabs an entire bottle and begins to chug it before Klein goes by and grabs it. He protests but Klein begins to drink it and walks away, wearing his normal white ring attire with a fancy golden bowtie. Elise removes the tip of her baton, revealing it to be a microphone before dramatically holding it into the air and stopping the music.

Elise Ares:
Welcome to The Year of Elise!

Everyone claps, except of Johnny Fairplay, still grumpy about losing out on that sweet, sweet Barefoot nectar.

Elise Ares:
Thank you, thank you. It has been almost one calendar year… and trust me, I’ll make it, since I first won the Southern Heritage Championship and in turn, DEFIANCE’s heart. It was then that I truly became the Leading Lady of DEFIANCE.

She pauses for another applause break, where the crowd is lead by the “celebs” and Klein holding up a giant applause sign.

Angus:
Does she think she won the FIST or something!?

DDK:
While it’s not unusual for the PCP to throw parties for themselves, this one does seem a little… extravagant?

Elise Ares:
So to reward you all… for my accomplishments, I’ve brought my Hollywood party to all of you. An extravaganza befitting of a swanky Hollywood release party, filled with the most celebrities that I could afford on short notice with a modest payroll account. Yet not TOO modest, for all of you, my adoring fans. So please, let me introduce you all to a few dozen of my very closest friends! This will be the party that’s exactly like my Southern Heritage Title reign...

She takes a step forward, looking directly into the camera with a smirk.

Elise Ares:
The party that NEVER stops. To my right… YOUR left, may I introduce to you a man that needs ZERO introduction, but dammit I’m giving it to him anyway…

♫ “Unstoppable” by Dansonn ♫

The music interrupts Elise Ares mid-sentence and her mouth just remains open while Gage Blackwood enters the WrestlePlex.

Angus:
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

DDK:
This could only mean that Gage Blackwood is out here to stake a claim for the Southern Heritage Championship!

Angus:
Or he could just be as FED UP with all of this CRAP as the rest of us!

DDK:
I’m not sure if you speak for The Faithful with that one.

Gage wears black jeans and his “WHAT HAVE I DONE FOR YOU LATELY?” t-shirt with the roster list on the back and numerous names crossed out, the newest being Scott Douglas.

In the ring, Klein pulls out a money gun and begins to desperately fire very expired Mikey Money into the audience in an attempt to gain attention back from the entrance, where Blackwood is holding a microphone in hand.

Gage Blackwood:
Aye, enough of this shit, I’ll get right to the point. Since finding my way in DEFIANCE, I remain undefeated. I have banished the likes of Mushigihara and Eddie Dante from this place and I have put Scott Douglas down at the bottom of the pecking order with, what I dare say, was a shocking victory to anyone other than me. You, Elise… you’re nothing but rubbish and a complete disgrace to that.

Blackwood points at the title.

Angus:
He has a convincing argument.

DDK:
All anyone has to say is that they don’t like Elise to convince you.

Angus:
You ain’t wrong.

Gage Blackwood:
You see this shirt? WHAT HAVE IT DONE FOR YOU LATELY? Well, your name is next on the list. I wanted to tell you personally that--

Elise Ares:
Wait wait wait wait wait wait! I don’t know how things work over in Scotland… with your kilts and your terriers and your…?

She looks over at Klein for inspiration, who begins to play an imaginary bagpipe.

Elise Ares:
Your GIANT FOOTBALLS. Ooooh, how exotic, but here in America and more importantly MY PARTY we have rules. This gala? EXCLUSIVE. INVITE ONLY. I don’t know if those words mean anything in Scottish because I’ve been almost everywhere but there, but here at MY PARTY it means that your poor lookin’ ass isn’t invited. So go back to your plaid box or wherever you came from and stay out of MY RING until your name gets called on the waitlist… and lemme tell you something shaggy, it’s a looooooooong LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG wait to party with the Queen of Sports Entertainment Style. There ain’t a person in this promotion who can take my title away from me, and I’ll be happy to show you, but don’t you EVER interrupt MY PARTY ever again. Do you understand me?

Gage Blackwood starts slowly walking towards the ring.

Klein:
I don’t think he understands!

But then he stops.

Gage Blackwood:
ENJOY YOUR PARTY. ENJOY CELEBRATING SOMETHING YOU DON’T DESERVE! Enjoy it, because--

Elise Ares:
Are you DEAF?

Just as she says that a bottle of wine shatters over the back of Klein’s head sending him down onto the canvas! Elise spins around to see Gunther Adler rip off a fake wig and sunglasses, throwing them onto Klein covered in Barefoot Wine crawling towards the ropes. The celebs freak out. Plaxico Burress shoots himself in the leg. Chaos ensues. Lost in the hysteria, someone turns Elise Ares inside out as she tries to go after Adler. That’s when Shooter Landell takes off a bandana and a bunch of obviously fake gold chains. He then begins whipping the champion as she tries to avoid being trampled at the same time.

The camera changes to Gage Blackwood, a big grin across his face.

Angus:
Now THIS is a party!

DDK:
It seems like these parties always end up like this!

Angus:
It’s fate! Everything is so terrible that God himself will not allow them to be completed!

Blackwood shoves his way through the panicked “celebs,” parting the seas of chaos while making his way down and he has a lot on his mind.

Gage Blackwood:
YOU ARE UNWORTHY! ALL OF YOU ARE UNWORTHY!! I am sick and tired of the FREE RIDES everyone gets around here god dammit!!

He stands next to Adler and Landell now in the ring. Klein rises back up to his feet, but the duo pick him up and slam him right through one of the circular tables in the ring. Elise sees the opportunity to get up, but has no idea Blackwood is even there. She turns around right into him, her expression quickly turns to “Oh… shit”  before he grabs her and throws her over his head with a snap suplex. Delayed vertical suplex. Rolling release suplex.

DDK:
The Scottish Trinity on Elise Ares! DEFsec needs to come break this up!

Angus:
They’re probably too busy dealing with all the filth Elise just released into the backstage area!

DDK:
They’re getting torn apart in there!

Angus:
Don’t you dare let them into catering, boys!

Adler and Landell pull Elise off of the mat, leaving her to hang defeated in their arms.

Gage Blackwood:
SOOOOO… AS I WAS SAYING… this time without interruption… you are an unqualified champion, Elise Ares. You have been handed EVERYTHING in this organization while someone like me waits and waits and waits patiently and gets walked on in the process.

Blackwood walks right up to Ares' face, grabbibg it with both hands.

Gage Blackwood:
Well not anymore! My initial message to you was… well... I wanted to tell you I have been named the NEW number one contender for the Southern Heritage Championship!

Angus:
YES!!!! OMG YES!!!

DDK:
Did you just say OMG?

Having her propped up, they position her directly in front of her own poster before Blackwood takes numerous steps back and sprints forward, drilling her right in the orbital bone with The Gaelic Storm! Both of them crash through the poster and splinter it onto the canvas below! The crowd showers them with jeers as Gage looks into the audience and shakes his head. He rips the Southern Heritage Championship off the waist of Elise Ares and looks at it. Landell grabs Elise’s microphone and holds it up to Gage’s lips as he remains looking at her from his knees.

Gage Blackwood:
I’M NOT LIKE ANDY SHARP, I’M NOT GOING TO STEAL THIS FROM YOU, I’M GOING TO DESTROY YOU AND YOU’LL HAVE TO WATCH THEM GIVE THIS TO ME!

He throws the championship onto the battered body of Elise Ares as DEFsec begin to rush to the ring, presumably after corralling the riff-raff backstage. The trio leave the ring as they arrive but not before Blackwood grabs the poster from under the wreckage that is now the champions’ body. Everyone checks on Elise and Klein as the trio back up the aisle, Gage Blackwood holding the poster high into the air.

“BLACK-WOOD SUCKS!”
“BLACK-WOOD SUCKS!”

The crowd chants as Adler pulls out a lighter from his jeans and lights the poster on fire. As the flame licks quickly up the cheap-ass posterboard, Gage drops it onto the aisle and stamps it out. The Faithful respond with more jeers as the trio turn their back to the ring and walk away. In the ring, Elise Ares is now propped up and being checked out by medical as she looks at the smoldering remains of her poster on the aisle.

Angus:
This was great and all but someone needs to clean all this GORRAM mess up, we have a match up next and we need a clean ring!

DDK:
Well all that might take a little while, Angus. What we just saw right here was a statement if I’ve ever seen one before. At Ascension it was Scott Douglas and tonight Elise Ares. The “Who’s Who” of celebrities Elise brought us tonight might be a little sketchy, but that’s a “Who’s Who” of long reigning Southern Heritage Champions if I’ve ever heard one. He’s making quite the case for himself, even if I don’t agree with the means.

Angus:
If you want something, Keebs, you take it. That’s what this business is all about, doing what you want and there not being a man or woman who can stop you from doing what you came to do. That’s how you become the best. That’s how you run this business.

DDK:
I’ve always been in the camp that says you face them head-on, man-to-man and you challenge them to be better than you. I don’t know if shattering a wine glass over someone’s head or sucker punching them in the middle of a small riot is how you “take what you want.”

Angus:
It’s not the journey, Keebs, it’s the result. If you walk out of this building with the Southern Heritage Championship after a battle, that’s all history will remember.

DDK:
Well I’ll remember that when I start hearing about how terrible Elise is for doing whatever she needs to do to win.

Angus:
And I’ll remember it when she loses it all to Gage Blackwood.

DDK:
Well, until then, we have a big mess to clean up, and we’ll take a minute to show you some clips from all the action you might’ve missed from Ascension before we bring you to our next matchup!

WRESTLEFRIENDS vs. NJNP

DDK:
Coming up, we’ve got a match between The WrestleFriends against Roosevelt Owens and The Neighborhoodlum from No Justice, No Peace. Following their HUGE win over The Fuse Bros back at Ascension, Batts and Mace have promised to get back full time to the tag team division. But tonight, No Justice, No Peace want to rob them of momentum. 

Angus:
The WrestleFriends are good. They won the BRAZEN RISE Tag League last summer to become full-time roster members, but it’s about time they try and make good on getting back to the top! 

DDK:
That they can do, but No Justice, No Peace have won big matches in the past, defeating The Fuse Bros on one occasion. Who wins tonight in tag team action? Let’s go to the ring. 

Darren Quimbey:
The following contest is a tag team match set for one fall! Introducing first, at a combined weight of 530 pounds… “Bantam” Ryan Batts and “Manpower” Jack Mace… THE WRESTLEFRIENDS!

Voices are now heard over the PA as multiple colors flash throughout the arena.  

FIGHTING SPIRIT!
GRAPS!
HOSSING!
FLIPPY THINGS!
BY OUR SKILLS COMBINED… WE ARE THE WRESTLEFRIENDS!

♫ “Come Together” by Gary Clark Jr. ♫

Out from the back, the crowd cheer the BRAZEN cult sensations turned full-time members of the DEFIANCE roster! The lights appear and standing on the stage back to back are the WrestleFriends! They make a quick beeline to the ring. As they enter the ring, Batts throws the rally towel into the crowd before taking off his cape. Mace removes his pelt and they wait for their opponents. 

♫ “Black Vikings” by Immortal Technique ♫

The hyper-aggressive hip-hop track plays and Brother Lucius Owens walks out onto the stage. He’s soon joined by Theo Baylor, The Neighborhoodlum, and Roosevelt Owens. Tonight, Big Rosey and The Neighborhoodlum fight. 

Darren Quimbey:
And their opponents, being accompanied by Theo Baylor and Lucius Owens… at a combined weight of 688 pounds… Roosevelt Owens and The Neighborhoodlum… NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE!

NJNP spread across the stage, with Brother Lucius - suit-clad as always - standing in the middle. Just as they had in past matches, they raise both arms in the air, cross them over, and turn the left hand into a fist, and the right into a peace sign. The foursome each the bottom of the ramp with Owens pointing at ‘Hoodie and Rosey. They enter the ring and referee Carla Ferrari calls for the bell. 

DING DING

DDK:
The 227-pound Neighborhoodlum and the 460-pound Roosevelt Owens! Mace himself is 325 and Batts at 205, but can they overcome the numbers advantage?

Batts and Hoodie start things off fast as a knee from Hoodie catches Batts off-guard. He doubles over the technician with a trifecta of punches and then backs him into a neutral corner where he rams a shoulder into his gut. Hoodie continues ramming a few shoulders into his ches and then paintbrushes the back of his head. He poses and takes in jeers from the crowd, making a wanking gesture. When he turns around…

The Yellow and Black Attack shoots out of the corner with Running Monkey Flip, taking The Neighborhoodlum over! He tried to stand only to get taken down with a Japanese Arm Drag! Then when he stands again, Batts comes back and snaps him over with a Flying Headscissors. Hoodie gets disorganized and when he stands up, Batts grabs him by the arm and snaps him down with a Dragon Screw to the arm! Hoodie gets hurt when Batts measures him up and PUNT kicks him in the arm!

DDK:
There’s Batts taking Neighborhoodlum to task with that skilled mat game!

Angus:
And here comes Jack Mace to hoss things up!

Ryan tags to Mace and the big man enters the ring. Batts tees off him with THE FANTASTIC FOUR in the corner! Four hands clubbering away at Neighborhoodlum until the referee orders them to break it off. Batts returns to his corner while Mace picks up Hoodie and holds him in a Delayed Scoop Slam position. The tag is made right back to Batts who watches as Mace slams him down with a Spinning Scoop Slam followed by a Slingshot Senton! Ryan with the cover!

One!

Two… no!

DDK:
Close one there, but now Batts back to Neighborhoodlum’s arm. 

Hoodie gets another Running Dropkick aimed at the arm by Batts! Hoodie flinches in pain when Batts tries to twist the arm out of the socket. When he tries to go for a move, Hoodie counters with a HARD punch in the mouth! The crowd jeers The Neighborhoodlum as he shakes the pain out of his arm before heading to the corner. He NAILS a hard Shotgun Dropkick to Batts, knocking him back into their corner! 

Angus:
Oh crap, Batts in the bad part of town. And now Big Rosey is in!

The 6’6”, 460-pound mass of humanity enters the ring and STEPS right on Ryan Batts near the ropes, eliciting screams of pain from the smallest man of the four. Mace looks on with worry for his partner as he watches him get taken to task by the monster. When Carla makes him back off, he steps off of Batts and then picks him up by the hair. He buries a hand into his gut and then pushes him back to the corner….

THWACK!

Angus:
JAY-ZUS! YOU COULD HEAR THAT CHOP UP HERE, KEEBS!

DDK:
Batts is down and then he throws him out of the ring… look out!

Big Rosey throws The Yellow and Black Attack go down to the outside and then Lucius Owens yells at Carla… while Theo Baylor grabs Batts and SLAMS him into the ring apron!

DDK:
Theo with the unfair advantage on the floor… now throws him back in the ring! And the tag bac to Neighborhoodlum who comes in with a Slingshot Elbow Drop! The cover!

ONE!

TWO… NO!

Hoodie holds up three fingers at Carla and then goes back to a Snap Suplex, only to roll over and then lay into Batts with a barrage of punches. He continues wailing on him until he goes back to end things. He looks to finish Batts as he tries to get up…

DDK:
He’s now looking for the Curb Stomp variation he calls the Stoop Stomp… NO! Batts shoves him out of the ring!

The Neighborhoodlum falls through the ropes right near Theo Baylor. The anger-fueled Baylor goes to help him up…

DDK:
THE FLIPSIDE! BATTS TAKES OUT BOTH HOODIE AND BAYLOR!

Batts then slides back into the ring as Big Rosey goes to the outside to help up Hoodlum. Lucius Owens barks out orders as he throws Hoodie back into the ring to stop Batts from making the tag, but it’s too late as Jack Mace explodes into the ring and SMASHES through him with a charging Shoulder Block! The crowd cheers on The Wholesome Wrestlelad charges at Big Rosey and knocks him off the apron with a Running Headbutt tot he gut!

Angus:
HOSSFITE!!!

DDK:
Big Mace is a brick house of fire! He throws Hoodie in the corner… Corner Splash! And then the Wild Out!

Mace DRILLS The Neighborhoodlum over his shoulder with a big Canadian Backbreaker Drop and then goes for the cover. 

ONE!

TWO!

DDK:
Big Rosey with the Elbow Drop to break up the cover!

Mace doubles over in pain now as Big Rosey pulls him up and CRACKS him with a Chest Chop. Mace fights back with a shot of his own and soon the two men continue to exchange shots! Neighborhoodlum tries to stand back up and get involved, when Batts comes off the top with a Front Missile Dropkick, knocking him away! Big Rosey backs Mace to the ropes, but when he charges he comes back with a HUGE Shotgun Dropkick of his own, knocking Owens through the ropes and sending the giant out ot the floor! 

Angus:
TIMBEERRRRRRRRR!

DDK:
And now Hoodie all alone with Mace and Batts! 

Neighborhoodlum is up as Mace puts him on the shoulders. He tags Batts and he climbs the ropes… 

DDK:
THE DAY IS SAVED!

The Throwing Snake Eyes from Mace leads to the Flying Cutter from Batts! Batts then rolls him over into a cover. 

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

Batts and Mace win the match and celebrate when Theo rushes in… CLANG! And comes out with a chair to the back of Batts!

DDK:
The WrestleFriends with the win… but Theo Baylor with the attack!

Theo turns to Mace, who knocks the chair out of his hand, but Big Rosey enters and the two-on-one commences…

Angus:
UGH, GAMER NERDS!

The crowd cheers on Tyler and Conor as they rush to the ring! Theo and Big Rosey see them coming and since it’s about to be a three-on-two, they leave the ring and take The Neighborhoodlum with them. The Fuse Bros. hover over Mace to make sure he’s okay, then walk over to check on Batts, holding his back in pain from the chairshot. 

DDK:
The Fuse Bros. come to the rescue of The WrestleFriends, but this issue between No Justice No Peace and The WrestleFriends won’t end here tonight. 

Angus:
I don’t think so, either!

Tyler and Conor help Batts to his feet. Meanwhile, NJNP head back up the ramp with an angered Theo Baylor throwing down his chair while behind held back by Lucius Owens.

COMMERCIAL BREAK: DEFIANCE ROAD 2019

Don't miss DEFIANCE ROAD 2019! Live on DEFonDemand! 

OSCAR BURNS & MIKEY UNLIKELY vs. URIEL CORTEZ & ANDY SHARP (PRESENTED BY THE FAMILY KEELING)

DDK:
We’ve finally come to our main event up next. Before FIST of DEFIANCE Oscar Burns defends his championship against the #1 Contender Mikey Unlikely, the two must join forces against The Family Keeling team of Andy Sharp and Uriel Cortez! Last time Burns was in a tag team match with them, it was Uriel pinning the champion. But now Burns teams with Mikey instead of SoHer Champion Elise Ares. 

Angus:
These two aren’t gonna trust each other enough. Man, you could feel that tension earlier tonight. 

DDK:
As long as the two cooperate against Sharp and Cortez, Burns and Unlikely will always have a chance. They’re two of the biggest big match players we have. 

Angus:
True… but tag team match. Where they may not always get along. Are they gonna jive at all?

DDK:
We’ll find out as we go to ringside for the main event! 

Cut to Darren Quimbey with the intros and such. 

Darren Quimbey
The following contest is a tag team match set for one fall and is your main event of the evening!

♫ “Sing From The Gallows” by Diablo Blvd ♫

The fans let out jeers as the massive giant from California stomps his way out from the back, looking dapper in a tailored black pinstriped suit. Adjusting his collar, the Titan of Industry eyes the crowd with Andy Sharp next to him, touching his sunglasses. The Family Keeling appear to be all business tonight as they don’t even make with their typical self-indulgent intros. 

Darren Quimbey:
Introducing first, at a combined weight of 605 pounds, being accompanied by Thomas and Junior Keeling… they are the team of ”LORD OF THE SKIES” ANDY SHARP AND “THE TITAN OF INDUSTRY” URIEL CORTEZ!

Andy Sharp leads the charge and jumps into the ring with a roll, popping up to flex for the jeering masses. Behind him, Uriel Cortez steps onto the ring apron, climbs inside and then waits patiently while Andy takes a few moments to jaw-jack with the crowd. 

  ♫ "Battle Without Honor or Humanity” by Hotei ♫

The lights go out and a single spotlight hits the stage right at the curtain. As the song picks up, Mikey comes through with a smile on his face. 

DDK:
Here he comes, the FIST Number one contender… 

Mikey walks in the spotlight to the stage, before the lights come back on. He poses towards the fans on each side of the ramp before slowly walking down. 

Darren Quimbey
Coming to the ring, hailing from Hollywood, California… weighing in at 230 pounds… He is the “World’s Greatest Sports Entertainer”.... MIKEY UNLIKELY! 

Mikey gets to the bottom of the ramp and decides to stop and wait for his backup. 

Darren Quimbey:
And his partner… from Wellington, New Zealand, weighing in at 243 pounds… he is the FIST of DEFIANCE… ”TWISTS AND TURNS” OSCAR BURNS!

♫ "Raise Your Flag” by MAN WITH A MISSION ♫

The fans cheer in adulation for DEFIANCE’S technically-savvy New Zealander as he walks out, looking VERY focused for the match ahead. Looking to the ring ahead pensively, the Joint Chief of Joint Locks raises a finger in the air, garnering cheers from the crowd!

DDK:
And here comes the champion himself! He’s a marked man for sure with that title, but he wouldn’t have it any other way!

Angus:
He’s also a dumbass sometimes! He has all my respect for what he’s done for DEFIANCE but the way he invites challengers out of the woodwork, not only Sharp and Cortez, but Mikey Unlikely up next for him! He’s asking for trouble. 

Burns wastes no time shooting a look and a receptive nod to Mikey before ripping off his shirt and throwing it into the crowd. He and The World’s Greatest Sports Entertainer take their corner. On the other side, Andy Sharp and Uriel Cortez bump fists with Thomas and Junior Keeling. Sharp and Burns look to be the first ones to start for their respective sides…

DING DING!

The FIST of DEFIANCE wants to lock up, but Sharp wants none of him and points over to Mikey Unlikely. 

DDK:
Remember when Sharp first came back, he mentioned having a list of wrongs he wanted to right and Mikey was one of them. Mikey was a different person three years ago, and he did put Andy on the shelf. Sharp hasn’t forgotten. 

Angus:
And looks like he’s all for it!

Burns shrugs and makes the tag to Mikey. The crowd roars as Mikey takes the bait. 

Angus:
Sharp wants him BAD. 

Indeed, the lockup between the two is extra aggressive as Andy shoves Mikey into the ropes. The two lock up some more until Andy has him in the ropes. Benny orders him for a clean break, but instead Sharp kicks him in the chest before grabbing his arm. He leaps to the top rope and wows the crowd before throwing Mikey over with a big modified Arm Drag! Andy takes in jeers from the crowd as Mikey stands up, only to eat a Dropkick from The Lord of the Skies! Andy kips up and takes in jeers again. 

DDK:
Andy Sharp… equal parts talented and conceited. 

Sharp walks over to Mikey and then picks him up before reeling him with punches. He whips Mikey at the corner but when he shoots in, Mikey dumps him over the ropes… no! Andy lands on the ring apron and then swipes at Mikey, but the #1 Contender ducks and snaps his neck across the top cable! Mikey smiles and then hits a Dropkick of his own, knocking Andy off the ring apron!

Angus:
Don’t try to show up the original McFuckass!

Mikey grins for the crowd and waits on the ring apron as he sees Andy starting to rise, only to come off the ring apron with a Flying Clothesline to take down the taller Canadian! Sharp goes down and Mikey takes in cheers from the crowd as Burns watches on. Mikey throws Sharp back into the ring and tries a cover. 

ONE!

TWO… NO!

DDK:
Mikey’s got Sharp on the retreat!

Angus:
But Sharp’s getting away!

Before Mikey can do anything, Sharp rolls away and tags in Uriel Cortez before jumping over the ropes back to his corner. He gestures at Uriel to get in there and handle business, which makes the giant grumble. 

DDK:
Uh-oh, some tension brewing between Sharp and Cortez, I’m seeing. 

Angus:
No, that’s just you being a shit-stirrer, Keebs. The Family Keeling is fine!

Mikey looks at Burns and offers his hand for a tag, which Burns takes. Twists and Turns picks up where he left off against Cortez at Ascension, going head-on against the giant with a low Dropkick to the knee! Uriel winces as Burns climbs back up and throws a pair of European Uppercuts to the head. He grabs Uriel by his leg to try something, but the giant shakes him off and throws him to the corner. Cortez follows, but Burns gets both feet up to catch him in the chest before leaping to the middle rope and flying off with a Flying Uppercut that doesn’t knock Uriel down, but it does stun the seven-footer! 

DDK:
The FIST fighting back against the giant!

Burns shoots off the ropes to catch Uriel with another attack but when he does, Uriel shakes it off and charges forward, RUNNING Burns down with a Running Shoulder Block that sends him flying across the ring! Burns gains his bearings for a second, but quickly rises to his feet. When he does, he finds the giant is bearing down on him. Burns runs and slides between the legs of Cortez. Burns stands up and goes for a dropkick but Uriel is able to turn away in time. Burns lands flat on his back in the ring, Cortez grabs one of Oscars legs and pulls him straight up in the air. 

DDK:
Burns able to flip out onto his feet! He leaps up onto the recent FIST Challenger, Uriel catches him! They are headed for the ropes! BURNS ABLE TO REVERSE AND DUMP CORTEZ OVER TO TOP ROPE! 

Cortez takes a tumble, Burns lands on the ring apron. Thinking quickly he turns his attention to the crowd and then yells out…

Oscar Burns (and the crowd):
SWEET AS!

He dives off the ring apron and lands a HUGE Flying Knee Strike off the apron to the face of the giant!

DDK:
Sweet As Knee Strike to the outside! What a risk from Oscar Burns!

Angus:
It paid off this Keebs, The question did it do more damage to The Hoss or The Kiwi?

DDK:
Indeed! both men are down on the outside. Here comes Andy Sharp in fact, to check on the situation.. 

Mikey reacts quickly gets into the ring, runs to the other side of the ring and dives through the middle rope and lands on Sharp, driving him into the barrier. Both men go down on that side as well as Mikey’s head made contact. Referee Benny Doyle begins his count. At about the five mark Burns is able to slide in but Cortez is right behind him after shaking off the cobwebs. 

Oscar turns towards his corner but Mikey is nowhere to be found, he turns back to Uriel and goes after him. Cortez is able to catch the much smaller athlete and toss him back to the mat. Cortez now takes over, slinging Burns around the ring and into the turnbuckles with authority. At one point Burns goes to tag Mikey again, but he’s still making his way back to the apron and didn’t make the tag before Cortez is able to grab Burns and send him into Sharps corner. Andy Sharp is ready for the tag. 

Angus:
McFuckass isn’t in position, costing his partner. My question is, is it on purpose? We just heard Andy Sharp call a snake a snake earlier tonight, it’s got to be weighing on Burns mind. 

DDK:
He just tried to save his partner Angus, he just didn’t make it back in time… 

Angus:
Mmm-hmm

Sharp now takes over on Burns, he drills a tornado DDT out of the corner, with the set up made by Uriel. Sharp goes for the cover. 

One… 

Two…

Mikey breaks up the pin as Burns as kicking out. 

DDK:
See! Teamwork! 

The referee pushes Mikey back out towards his corner as Thomas Keeling is complaining about the lax officiating from the outside. Back inside Sharp gets Oscar back to his feet. After a few quick forearms, Sharp goes for it. 

DDK:
JECHT… NO! Oscar Burns ducks the kick that surely would have been the end. Oscar now, HARD OUT HEADBUTT! Sharp is down! Oscar falls into the friendly turnbuckle. 

Mikey sees the opportunity and tags Oscar on the back. Burns barely even feels Mikey tap him. Unlikely gets into the ring, and takes off for Uriel Cortez, lands a dropkick right into the chest of the Giant, sending him down to the outside. Mikey climbs that same turnbuckle that Uriel was standing by, turns back towards the ring, and hits a top rope fist drop in the center of the ring. 

Angus:
The Kiwi is still out in his corner… I wouldn’t think that headbutt would have much to damage in HIS head. 

Mikey seeing his partner is still in the ring, grabs Burns and literally tosses him through the second rope and to the floor. 

DDK:
What was that? Unlikely going for the pin! 

One…

Two…

THREE!

Angus
HA! I told you, Can’t trust a snake! 

♫ "Battle Without Honor or Humanity” by Hotei ♫

Mikey having realized they won the match, goes out to help Burns get back in the ring. Burns sees Mikey coming and pushes him with both hands in the chest, and asks what that was about, making a motion of tossing. Mikey starts to explain himself but here comes Uriel, Thomas, Junior Keeling, and Andy Sharp from behind them. They quickly notice and take off up the ramp, but Burns keeps his eye on Mikey, and keeps a space between them. The Keeling family stops at the bottom of the ramp, Mikey raises his arm in victory at the stage. He tries to shake Burns hand one more time, but Burns just brushes past it.

DDK:
Mikey Unlikely gets the win for he and Oscar Burns tonight! 

Angus:
But at what cost, Keebs? Mikey made this match happen! Was he doing this out of the love of competition or was he doing this, hoping that The Family Keeling would dish out some damage to the FIST before their match?

Uriel stares the two down while on the ramp, Burns glares a hole right through the victorious Mikey Unlikely, raising his hands for the cheering crowd. 

DDK:
Folks, that’ll be it! For Angus Skaaland, I’m Darren Keebler! And thanks for watching DEFtv!

THIS

IS

DEFIANCE


Results compiled and archived with Backstage 3.1.