Ballyhoo Brew Presents: "Brockbuster" Movie Night

Last Saturday night, Ballyhoo Brew had “Brockbuster Movie Night”. Hosted by Brock Newbludd, a massive projector screen was brought into the bar's parking lot to screen a marathon of his recent films. Those lucky enough to have secured a ticket partied all night with free food and drink. The night was a success both for the bar and for the community as half of the ticket sales went towards helping local veterans in the community.

The event concluded with a visibly inebriated Brock Newbludd crawling onto the stage and asking if anyone had seen Pat Cassidy. Learning that Cassidy chose not to attend the party caused the Southern Heritage champion to hang his head in disappointment. The Ballyhooligans in attendance quickly rallied behind their host after one of them cried out with a heavy slur, “We still love you, Brock! BVP! BVP! BVP!”.

Inspired by the sea of chanting drunkards, the reinvigorated Newbludd wiped a tear from his eye and raised his glass to the crowd.

“There’s nobody better than you guys! Nobody! I want to thank everyone for being here not only tonight but for every night. You’ve supported me through all the good times and bad movies. I consider myself one lucky sonuvabitch to call each and every one of you a friend. I mean that shit!” Brock passionately exclaimed, drawing a cheer from the crowd.

“And let it be known that anyone who f*cks with us just bought themselves a one-way ticket for a Wisconsin Death Trip!” 

Newbludd’s glazed eyes suddenly widen as a light bulb goes off in his head.

“You know what, as much as I love my home state, what we've got going on right here has gone beyond that! We’re worldwide now, baby, and anyone dumb enough to come barkin’ up our tree ain’t buyin’ a ticket for a Wisconsin Death Trip…”

Dropping the mic on the stage, Brock stomped over to a full-size wax sculpture of Gunnar Van Patton and promptly lifted it into the suplex position. Holding it up high, the star of Born Over turned to face the crowd before spiking it headfirst into the stage with his signature finishing move. The impact of the screwdriver caused the effigy of America’s most genuine patriot to collapse in on itself, leaving it in a literal pile of unrecognizable goo. 

With the people cheering in approval, the wax-covered Newbludd snatched the microphone back up and addressed the crowd one last time.

“They’re buyin’ a VIP ticket to a goddamn BROCKBUSTER! I love you all and drive home safe!”

With that proclamation, Newbludd’s finisher has officially changed from the Wisconsin Death Trip to the Brockbuster.

Note: After the event, free transportation home was given to all the attendees due to the high number of them wearing GVP eyepatches. The lack of depth perception, combined with heavy alcohol consumption, was a disaster waiting to happen.

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