"...or we go with option number two: you can play your little games where you hide in the shadows instead of facing me like a man, and then I can just come find you. And what that means is Pat Cassidy is going to hit the town as only Pat Cassidy can, and at the end of a festive night of vigorous hydration, I’m calling an Uber to get myself home. And buddy, let me tell you what: in the history of Uber, there ain’t never been a pain-in-the-ass drunken customer quite like THIS guy."