[Ed. note: this is a repost from the EPW Boards for posterity.  No pointscoring is expected with this rp.]

*****

[Fade up.]

[The scene is a simple one. A black backdrop accompanies a cedar-colored wooden stool, which is staged slightly right of center. In the center of the black backdrop...and the camera’s view...is the red and somewhat white Defiance logo, as seen at the top of defiancewrestling.com. On the top of the stool is a book with a red cover and binding.]

[From our left walks the protagonist of this promo, The Last Nighthawk himself, Christian Light. Dressed in a black T-shirt with a Heritage League logo and blue jeans, he turns and faces the camera, showing off both his blue eyes and his large forehead bandage, obtained from Defiance’s Grand Champions League first playoff show.]

[Christian wastes no time beginning to speak.]

“The Last Nighthawk” Christian Light:
Oh Boogie Smallz. 

Paragon of...well, God knows what, but I’m sure you’re a paragon of something in your own eyes.

Every time you’ve come out here to preach your gospel of dirt to us, you end your sermon with the signature phrase of, [finger quotes]“Believe that.” Or Dat. Or however you say it...I’m a wrestler, not an impressionist.

With your demands, your physical stature, and your cocksure way of talking to everyone else around you, I’m sure you seriously expect everyone to take your words as the truth. From Boogie’s mouth to our ears, we better heed the words of our leader, or we’ll face severe consequences!

[The last sentence was spoken with heavy sarcasm and a small smile creeping up the lips of the Last Nighthawk as he speaks it. Light runs his hand over his forehead bandage before continuing.]

Light:
I gotta say, Boogie, I’m not a convert. I don’t believe dat, so to speak. I don’t believe any of that.

And honestly, I’m not even interested in hearing you prattle on anymore. 

But we have a match on this coming Empire Pro show, so I guess I better pay some attention to the noise coming out of your trap, if for no other reason to make you look like a fool in front of the fans of Empire Pro Wrestling.

Don’t worry, we’ll get to that in a second. But first, let me tell you about the religion I believe in with regards to this business.

Respect

[A pause, letting the singular word sink in.]

Light:
Everyone knows the cheap clichés. Some say respect isn’t earned, it’s taken. Some say respect isn’t given, it’s earned. I’m sure there’s a thousand other clichés regarding respect that I’ve never heard, too, as well as some rules about how respect really should be done. And someone can throw them all into some book for us to interpret quotes from to help prove a point. 

I happen to have it right here, actually. 

[And sure enough, The Last Nighthawk brings his right hand up into the camera shot, and in his hand he is holding that red-bound book with letters in faux gold on the cover reading “The Bible of Respect in Pro Wrestling.” Depending on your view of wrestling as a business, it either looks unexpectedly thin...or unexpectedly fat. In truth, the width is somewhere in the middle, but judging by the color of the pages, it’s been used quite often. Christian opens the “bible” and turns to a bookmarked page near the front of it while still looking at the camera.]

Light:
After all, I wouldn’t want to get the quote wrong.

So let’s proceed to interpret. All the cool people are doing it, so why not follow along?

[A wink from The Last Nighthawk, indicating his extreme sarcasm, before he looks down at the pages.]

Light:
Hmmm, let’s see...mythology of the origin of wrestling...

[A few pages are turned.]

Light:
...the first showing of mutual respect between competitors, no, not that one

[More page turning.]

Light:
...ahh, here we go, the commandments that govern respect in the business. Let’s see how these go...hmmm...

[Christian adjusts the book in front of him, bringing it to a decent reading distance in front of him.]

Light[reading voice]:
The first commandment...thou shalt not miss a media promotional appearance.

Whoops.

[An awkward pause as Light looks up from the book.]

Light:
Well, since Boogie made it a point of contention, I guess I wasn’t avoiding this one.

Yes, I missed my promotional appearances for the first round of the King of the Cage tournament, for Aggression 68. No, I’m not going to offer any kind of half-baked excuses or any kind of dog-ate-my-homework stories. It is lamentable, and even though I’ve spoken to Dan Ryan privately about this and we’re straight on it, I do own the fans of the Empire an apology. So, I apologize to the fans of the Empire for missing my media appearance.

However, I do NOT apologize to you, Boogie-man, for anything you think I’ve done to hinder your experience in Empire Pro.

I owe you as much of an apology as Anarky and Rezin owe you money for handing his team that victory.

Nada. Zero. Zilch.

All your rage and your whiny complaining about people like me “ruining” this for you? That’s just an excuse for why you didn’t want to bother with this tournament anymore. You got paired up with Defiance’s Alceo Dentari...for which I legitimately feel sorry for you, mind you; the guy would be in the dictionary under the definition of the word “jerk” if he could stand tall enough to get into the picture...and because you didn’t get the best possible tag team partner you decided to take your Boogie-ball and go Boogie-home.

All the way leading up to your tag match last show, you sat there and you talked about how Alceo Dentari better pull his weight and he better not ride your coattails. Nevermind the fact that the guy hasn’t pulled his own weight for the last ten to twelve Defiance cards, you went in there with your Boogie-speak and you told Alceo to believe it, so of course he has to. It doesn’t matter that he rode the coattails of guys like Yoshikazu YAZ and his two new nameless associates to his success. He was gonna reform his ways just because you said so.

All you had to do was order the DVD’s from defiancewrestling dot com...heck, not even that, all you had to do was go on Youtube and search for Alceo Dentari Defiance. Watch him sic guys like Yoshikazu YAZ and Jimmy Kort on people so he can safely get the last kick in. 

This isn’t my interpretation on this one. It’s not my opinion here. This is black-and-white on-film fact. And either you were too stupid or didn’t care enough to bother doing research on your own Lethal Lottery partner.

And the most ironic part of it all? If you really wanted to flush this partnership down the toilet...if you really thought that poorly of Alceo Dentari as a partner, well, Teddy Alexander gave you what turned out to be a perfect blueprint for getting yourself a new, useful Lethal Lottery partner. But instead of following that, you decide that you’re done playing in the sandbox with Pigpen, Alceo, and their spelling-challenged buddy and you go home to pout in your room. 

[Light shakes his head in disappointment.]

Light:
Do you know what you cost yourself, besides the match?

Before you did that, you had all the negotiation leverage in the world in your contract talks. There was no way that EPW management would have let you just walk out of the federation with a potential match involving you versus either Sean Stevens and Impulse or Cameron Cruise and The Dirtba...err, The First? 

Not without attempting to sweeten the pot for your future contract. 

Now? 

Any chance of that is gone, baby, gone. It walked out of the ring with you at Aggression 69.

All you’ve got left for your last match, plus or minus about ten other competitors, is little old me.

And speaking of which, let’s get to the 2nd commandment of respect.

[Light looks back down at the book in his hand.]

Light[reading]:
Thou shalt not dismiss thy opponents, regardless of thy personal feelings.

[Light looks back up again from his book.]

Light:
You want to come down hard on me because I missed my media time last week, then fine Boogie, go right ahead. Like everyone else, you’re entitled to their opinion.

But if I’ve learned one thing about you this week, it’s that if I hear about your ascension to a federation’s talent evaluation board, then I’m staying far, FAR away from that federation. Why, you ask? You appear to have based all your evaluation regarding me as a wrestler on one match and “I ain’t never heard of you before.” Let’s call that a Boogie-valutation, since I’m having fun tacking your name on the front of words.

By the Boogie-valuation standards, you yourself are nothing but garbage to me, since I’ve been in the business for fifteen years too...and I’ve never heard of you before Ultratitle. Further, since we’re going by the “one match means everything” evaluation standard, I’m going to pick the match you had with Kiyomori in Ultratitle to conclude that you’re nothing but a loser, cause you lost.

Clearly the Boogie-valuation is more fun to say than it is useful to evaluate wrestling talent. 

[A pause as Light rolls his neck with an audible crack before looking down at the book again.]

Light:
The third commandment of pro wrestling respect...thou shalt not...

[And Christian stops mid-sentence and pauses. While looking down at the book, he slams it shut with his right hand.]

Light:
You know what, Boogie-man?

I could go on all night preaching about your sins against the pro wrestling business. 

I could go on all night about how you seem to live to disrespect everyone around you, myself included. 

But speaking to you about all of this is like talking to a wall. None of it is absorbing. None of it will.

[It’s at this time that Light puts the book gently back down on the stool before he turns and looks back up at the camera.]

Light:
The fact of the matter here is real simple.

At some point at Aggression 70, you and I will be face to face inside the squared circle through a challenge of your own making. It doesn't matter to me if I’m the first one, the last one, or the only one to get a crack at you, I will get a crack at you in Phoenix. And when I do...when words become deeds and you hit me like you say you will...don’t be surprised when I’m still standing. 

Don't be shocked when I start hitting back. Hard

Don't be amazed if I happen to beat some respect into you during this confrontation.

But in the end, my role in this match is clear.

I'm going to pick you up nine feet in the air and, in one swift motion, turn you upside down and deprive you of the privilege of consciousness with my finisher, Realizing the Dream. 

Once you’re out, you can do your thing dreaming about banks in other cities from which all this money will flow to your accounts. Meanwhile, I’ll be making sure I respect your last wishes.

After all, you want to go out like a gangster, right?

[Cut quickly to a close-up of Christian Light’s face.]

Light:
So let me be the one to put you in the coffin.

[Cut.]

More Propaganda | View Christian Light's Biography