[King COOL.]

“Defiance Wrestling’s grand tourney of wrestling imposters is finally coming to an end.”

[Calm, collected and ALWAYS COOL, The High Chief of the latter says with an approving gas-grin agape.]

“While I might not be the one that has the final say about it-- and believe me when I say I wish it were me out there with the chance to attain the unattainable glory that comes with being known as the Master of Wrestling... or whatever it’s called, I’d like for the final four competitors to know Cancer Jiles approves of your message.”

[The collar on Jiles’ fancy silk shirt is popped, and his shades have of course graced THEE Arnold’s face during the filming of T2. If you have to ask about the hair, you don’t know the man you’re spying on.]

“I do. I really do. ALL of your work, Heidi, has paid off. Those countless hours of being too perturbed to bother have landed you smack dab in the main event for whatever Eric Dane and his crack staff of wrestling cue balls have decided to call this finale of a show.”

[I think it’s called.....]

[Back to the Cancer?]

“I want that other knob of a female competitive wrestler, the points leader who’s never faced  Cancer Jiles for some odd reason, to know that all of your diligence... all of your ducking. And hiding. And basket weaving... is due. Claria, you are a shining example of anyone can do it. You personify to an exact perfect tee what it means to overcome adversity. Your uphill climb mine as well have been a skip and jump... and I commend you for it. You’re a regular Susan B. Anthony.”

[The Count yawns. Also, he doesn’t know who Susan B. Anthony is, it was just a name that popped into his head. Surprisingly, and unbeknownst to him it works.]

“Then there’s the third bitch. Chris Light. The shim who makes me go............... like, WHOA! I can’t believe I’m in a federation with such a lame fucking duck in it. Like, MAI GAWD, how can people tune in and watch this goober walk and talk like he knows ONE fucking thing about left from right?”

[Cancer shakes his head.]

[Yes, he is a disappoint.]

[More so in himself, but at also with the state of affairs.]

“Who’s the fourth person not named Cancer Jiles to be main eventing? Oh, yeah. That Mamma Mia ginny mother-fucker. The Royal Tenor of Defiance. The Italian Job... Aleceo Dentari. Ace, I’ll tell you this much, good luck making any one of Charlie's Angels look good inside that ring. Not that I care if you succeed, just saying... from one thief to another.”

[That’s some thick advice.]

“Now that I’ve done what no other has... and that would be putting over the Main Event as exactly the stack of pancakes that they are...”

[A drum roll can be heard. It’s Cancer vigorously slapping at high thighs.]

[Full stop.]

[Long, suspense ridden pause.]

[Then, a firecracker.]

[Well, a pop top doubling as a firecracker.]

POP.

“Nargon Jonse.”

“The One.”

“The only.”

“The first of his kind.”

“The man, who faces an extremely motivated Cancer the COOL. Motivated, to bury all he sees  and leave for the worse everyone he meets.”

[I dunno why Cancer is all big eyed, but he is. And his shades are fogging up too, which like never happens.]

“THE MAN, who while Bronson Box was away sleeping, was here fighting tooth and nail to keep on dreaming. The man, who while The Queen was away queefing, was here keeping a bleeding fucking heart beating. The man, who while Tom was out joy riding, was here OG crip walking.”

“Dragon Jones.”

“Fear not.”

“At the end of it, you got the biggest match on the card. You get to face Cancer fucking Jiles. You get a shot to dethrone an immortal being of unknown/godly COOL proportion. You get to beat the face of Defiance.”

“Because while all the others have gone.”

“...because while he and she decided to take a walk in the woods instead of grinding out a horrid show schedule... I have remained.”

“Loyal, to the cause.”

[He’s definitely remained.]

“For all of my hardwork... for all of my cunning and tip toeing across broken glass with a defiantly heavy as all fuck weight resting across my shoulders... I have been given the honor of facing you. You, Dragon Jones, are the result of my due diligence. Because of my hard work, and not bothering to be perturbed, I get to square off against you.”

[Long, awkward pause.]

[See, Cancer likes the Dragon. He believes in everything Nojes does and will ever do.]

[He also knows where The First stands with the company.]

[And what he means for Defiance.]

[And that he’s not in the main event.]

[The last few, tend to upset Cancer’s believed status quo.]

“I won’t call it a slap in the face. I like you too much to insult you with such a remark....”

“But.”

“You’re no reward, Dragon, and I’m looking to cash in a big fucking bounty.”

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