[Banner up.]

[It says Defiance.]

[Just like the shirt.]

“When will it end?  When will the tyranny stop?  When will Cancer Jiles get a fair shake?”

[Upset, hardly.]  

[Enraged, not likely.]  

[Rhetorical, always.]  

[Jaded, indeed.]

“Ya know, I go out of my way to make Defiance fun for all.  I’m the last person who deserves this type of treatment.“

“IAMNOTALEOPARD.’

[He meant leper.]

[Just to be clear.]

[On the verge of a breakdown, Cancer collects himself the only way he knows how.]

[Inhale.]

…

…

[Exhale.]

“Not yet.”

[INHALE]

…

…

[EXHALE.]

[There it is.]

[There’s the shit-grin that’s been missing from Cancer the COOL’s clean kempt face.]

“What the???”  

[Utterly appalled, Lord Jiles of COOLsylvania frantically removes his t-shirt.]  

“How the fuck did I get this dish rag on?”

[The camera has no answer for Cancer’s rhetoricism.]

“I’ll have to shower with three different soaps now, just to get this foul stench off.”

[Could be worse.  Could have been a High Octane t-shirt.  Trust me, you don’t want to know the scrub down process for that pickle.  It’s extensively nightmarish in every sense of the word.]

“Oh well.  I’ve been through worse.”

[Aside from the HOW tee, a cardboard box for an extended stint comes to mind.]

“Even then though, I wasn’t handcuffed like I am now.  I was allowed to go about my business however the fuck I wanted.”

[Who is going to tell a homeless guy he can’t shit in a box?]

[You?]

[I didn’t think so.]

“I mean for fuck sakes, Jeff.  If ya can’t cheat, are you even playing the game?”

[Obviously, the way things went down last week has soured Cancer’s note.  Getting a win overturned tends to do that to a person.]

“I got the law involved, I got Dane involved, I got GreenPeace involved, I sent you flowers... and still, you go out of your way to make sure it rains.”

[Cancer shakes his head, which weighs heavily with frustration and regret for not killing Jeff Andrews when he had the chance.  He was going to send a poison flower mixed in with the rest of the lot.]

[Joker style.]

“I get that we don’t like each other.  I understand your gripes, like I understand quantum physics.”  

[Should be noted that Cancer also cares about said “gripes” in the same way.  That is to say he doesn’t.]

“Last week you overstepped your bounds.  And to beat a dead horse, Jeff...”

“I want my fucking points.”

“I ALSO want out of the dark match against Jack Cassidy.”

[For good reason.  The last guy to wear a hawaiian shirt and say Cancer’s name tried to steal his sunglasses.]

“Like, are you trying to kill this company?  Cheating your ONLY STAR at every turn is one thing.  But... Jack Cassidy?  When no one is in the building?  WHAT THE FUCK?”

“Really, Jeffro.  Who the fuck is piling in for Hollywood Jack and Claria St. Sure?”

“And who the fuck is Hollywood Jack to begin with?”

[No clue.]

[That is Cancer’s facial expression.]

“We got KING COOL selling popcorn to start the show, and a debut in the main event?”

[Does sounds odd.]

[Nobody eats popcorn at a wrestling show anymore.]

“Are we offering mass suicide with the price of admission?  Because that’s who’s showing up to watch the main event at Heritage Six.”

“People who want to kill themselves.”

“Fix this gratuitous atrocity, or the next flowers you receive from me will be the kind you can’t smell.”

[Odorless flowers?]

“You feel me.”

[Using a flexed thumb, Cancer slowly mimics slicing his throat.]

[Ahh, I get it now.]  

[Can’t smell the flowers if you’re dead.]

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