Title: Alternatives
Featuring: Jane Katze
Date: 2/21/13
Location: Prestonia Jefferson Investiments

"Uncontrolled Growth is a sure sign of cancer."

[Jane Katze sat in an office chair, reclining hard into the flimsy back, her feet kicked up on the corner of the desk. The mid-afternoon light beamed into the corner office through the slots in the blinds.]

"My Grandfather once said that to me as we passed Disney World on our way down to Tampa from Orlando. At the time I was six, maybe seven. But the words didn't mean much to me, how could Disney World, the Happiest Place on Earth, be a life threatening cyst?

"But he saw it differently, he remembered when there was no developments in the Southwest of Orlando, nothing but miles and miles of undeveloped forest and swamp. To him, it was perfect. Why ruin the solace of nature? Leave it as God has intended it to be.

"Obviously, my grandfather was a simple man. If he was still around to this day, he would likely be on the same soap box. He would be preaching the same virtue, a virtue I agree with in a different light.

"A business must be expanded, it must grow, develop and change if it wants to survive through the years. It needs regulation. It needs rules, guidance and a formalistic approach to dealing with unhealthy expansion."

[One leg comes off the table, followed by another. With both feet firmly planted on the ground she stares ahead into the camera.]

"Mr. Jiles, your name is quite suiting for you in this context. For every good thing you have ever achieved in your life, you have brought the same amount, if not more, abominations with you.

"What have you truly accomplished? The Defiance Tag Team Championship? Can you really take credit for that? Can you really say you even put in a quarter of the effort, the resources, the drive or the energy that my boss did?

"Ignore the rhetorical questions, I already know the answer. But a man like you will give an answer regardless if anyone is listening. You'll call me a Gorilla, Big Foot's Cousin, Sasquatch in a Bikini or whatever antedate you can pull together in your pot-idled brain.

"That's fine. I don't care."

[Jane reaches into her purse, grabbing a silver box. Snapping it open, she pulls out a clove cigarette and pressed it against her lips.]

"Cancer... I don't exactly care what happens to you the next time Bronson Box gets a hold of you. If last week is an indicator of things to come, you may want to revoke your organ donor documentation. I don't know the man very well, but Box will kill you.

"Me on the other hand, well, I've been given special instructions for you."

[She blows the smoke out as she leans back into her chair. With a bit of grin she returns the cigarette back to her mouth, tasting the clove mixture again.]

"I'm just stage one of the treatment for regulating uncontrollable growth, Cancer. While I'm not going to be the pummeling, unrelenting chemotherapy that Bronson Box is, I offer Prestonia Jefferson investments an alternative approach.

"Steve Jobs thought he could cure his cancerous pancreas tumor with acupuncture, dietary supplements and juice. While I would not like to be compared to the Snake Oil practice of Holistic Medicine, I'm just a buffer. I'm here for you to fuck up, to make a mistake and get choked out by me.

"Because that's what you are Cancer.

"You're a mistake."



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