Cancer Jiles.

Edward White.

They were the odd couple that made sense.

They rode jetpacks through outer space to get from point a to point b.

They ashed about the world like it was their oyster.

Then, one was left to the wolves.

And a friendship that extended beyond the ring, was no more.

----

[You know the spot.]

[You can see the writing on the wall.]

[If you can’t, it says Defiance in 97red.]

[Whatever that means.]

[T. Shades. UP.]

“I remember like it was yesterday, Edward.”

[Candidly, The Lord of COOL continues to speak.]

“You see, for me... it will be a day that I’ll never be able to forget.”

“January 27th, 2013.”

“...The day Money COOL died.”

[A somber aura takes over The High Chief of COOL. Being he’s stoned out of his mind and on some sort of pain medication for the bloody throbbing headache Bronson Box recently handed him, he’s able to quickly snap out of it.]

[Captain Planet has his powers, so does Captain COOL.]

[Drugs.]

[Who knew?]

“Yup, that was the day my only friend stabbed me in the back.”

[If you couldn’t tell, The Count is still not over the whole ordeal.]

“What type of man does that to his friend?”

[Cancer pauses for an answer. However, he’s the only one in the room so it never comes.]

“I know that I’ve never stabbed a member of the Bandits in the back. Never even thought about it. Not once. EVER. In fact, I would kill the man who betrayed one of my brethren. I would find out  wherever he was hiding, egg the holy-ever-living piss out of him and then use Jimmy Kort’s sheriffs edition pistol to shoot him in the face.”

“All six shots.”

“Give them idiots eight eyeballs.”

“--or in Bronny’s case... seven.”

[zing.]

“That’s just me though.”

“I guess you could say... I’m COOL like that.”

[Hmmm, now why would anyone ever think to say such a thing?]

“Like, I don’t hire an assassin to do my dirty work.”

“I don’t send a woman to go do a man’s job.”

“And I sure as fuck don’t abandon my running mate.”

[Emphatic. Emotional. And even some spit spray while saying the word abandon.]

“Cancer Jiles stays and fights.”

“Chips down? Why not, I could use some green jello.”

“Against the world? Okay, I’ll start ordering the eggs.”

“And sure, I get my ass handed to me from time to time... get left laying in the middle of the ring, fetal, bleeding so bad it looks like I was wearing a fur coat at an Animal Rights rally, but I don’t quit on a friend.”

“And at the end of the day, Edward, no matter how many pie-charts you show me on why you took the low road... that’s what you did.”

“You quit on Cancer Jiles.”

[A finger scolding shake.]

“Heh, I’m sure in your deluded mind it’s that you fired Cancer Jiles.”

[Followed by an eyeroll. Unseen of course, due to the mirror tint.]

“Maybe you’d be right to think that, Edward. Maybe, it should be you fired Cancer Jiles from the Evil Empire.”

“That is, if ever since the split you have gone on to win and dominate and jump over mountains left and right like I have.”

“But, you haven’t.”

[Ouch.]

“I guess there’s always the Steel Cage match against the guy who just knocked out Bronson Box’s eyeball to rectify such a problem.”

[A devious chuckle.]

“...good luck with that.”

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