Snake In The Grass

Inside an old barn out in the outskirts of Toronto, a man hired by Chance Von Crank sits up three different video cameras. This location was hand chosen by Chance, himself, when passing on the way to film the new Trailer Park Boys movie. Leading up to the most important match of his career he finds himself in another country the week before hand. Inside the barn sits a rectangle wooden container with a blue tarp covering the top of it. The man begins rolling all the camera’s and exits a side door out the barn. Chance is driven into the field and up to the barn by his driver. The door swings open and he lunges out, wearing his cheap flashy robe. He approaches the barn door and opens it entering soon after. He shuts the door and uses the door slide to lock it secure behind him. He walks in and begins circling the big container covered by the tarp. He stares down at it slightly touching the top of the tarp as he circles it.

cVc:  I could not be more fucking thrilled.  This is “it”, if I fuck this up I will never forgive myself. I have not just one man to defeat and they are more ways to lose than there are to win. My new job as part time movie star is beginning to fuck with what I was born to do. I had this barn in mind for 3 days straight now I just had to wait till now for our friend to arrive.

Chance stops circling the container and heads for the closest camera to him. He takes it in his hands.

cVc: I have no fear of failure but already regret that one of my opponents in this battle royal is still breathing. Jones I speak of you and I begin to feel ill to my stomach. I will be coming for you but you will not be my aim. I find you are not the best in this particular instance. I will be focused on others with real wrestling ability. There are so many competitors in this battle royal and I know what you all will be bitching about on the wrestling forums, “Aren’t you scared of Python?”

Chance laugh’s at this notion.

 cVc: No. I fear none of these men… All of these fucking sissy faggots are going down and the bitches have no business in a ring with yours truly. Some of the bitches in this fucking place don’t have enough backbone to jerk my pecker off, yet here they are pretending to be wrestlers. Lisa you’re the only cunt I have to worry about this night. You stay out of my way and maybe… JUST FUCKING MAYBE… I will let you wear my strap after it’s all over while you take a cream pie on all fours. I’ll make you my dirty fucking whore if you’re Nice. You’re fucking pathetic but you all will win even in losing. You have my name on the fucking card in very close proximity to yours and that makes you matter this night. The history books of this sport will speak of this night in high regards down the road…. You all will be part of The Trailer Park Prodigy winning his first fucking title. This taste of gold will linger in you’re mouths followed by the bitterness you will come to realize is your chance gone. Every single one of you motherfucker’s pay close attention…  I mean close… This is my fucking time to shine and any of you even begin to threaten destiny and I will be that force that breaks your will. When you feel your back crack from the stomping of your life remember the promise here in this barn I made you on this day.

Chance sits the camera back down and turns back to the container. He looks at it with wide eyes as he grabs the outer edge of the tarp. He pulls it off revealing the surprise underneath. A huge solid white Python with red eyes sits underneath with hay all around it. Chance continues to walk around the container looking at the snake. He reaches for the snakes head and it strikes at his hand.

cVc: Look at this creature. This snake is huge and will actually squeeze the life out of its prey rather than use its bite. I had him shipped here and broke a few laws in doing so but heres  to me ever giving a fuck about that. This snake has no feelings one way or the other and does what it has to do to survive. This snake unlike my opponent with the same name actually does have a sack. This snake would kill me given the chance. Python however doesn’t have the killer instinct that this snake has. The Trailer Park Prodigy has this same killer instinct it is something you could say this snake and I share. The one quality this animal actually can share with my opponent it actually in fact shares with cVc. Killer Instinct…

Chance again circles the enclosure that the snake is in. He attempts to touch its head and it strikes at his left hand. As he quickly and barely escapes the strike, he picks up a machete underneath the enclosure. As the snake strikes at his hand again he uses the machete in his right hand to swiftly behead the snake in one strike.

cVc: See to kill a snake, you cut off its fucking head. You’re momentum could appear to you Python to be unstoppable, almost like “destiny”. That is not going to be the case what so ever come show time. In that ring I know what you are capable of and I still believe that your dog shit. 

Chance begins to mock Python while holding the snakes severed head pretending to talk as Python with it.

cVc: Look at me, I’m Python and I use to be THE Who Gives A Fuck World Champion! Yay everyone just lay down because no one can stop me. I am this and I am that.  BLAH!

Chance throws the severed snakes head at one of the cameras.

cVc: That’s right motherfucker.

Chance holds the snakes body up and stabs it in place with the machete. As it hangs there he retrieves a pocket knife and begins skinning the snake.

cVc:  Being whatever it was you use to be means dick when it comes to our match. Both matches I will bring this fight to you cocksucker. I want you to know you are not safe Python because outside of Lash I find you cocksuckers the two I will have to put down early. Jones gave me the best he had and I still fucking beat him. You all should watch that match over and see what The Trailer Park Prodigy is willing to do to win, anything. I will do anything and any cost to win my first real title. I am coming after all of you motherfuckers and Python just as I have done your white friend here, I want to put you down because in this world that we both inhabit…

Chance begins to eat a piece of the raw python.

cVc: Only The Superior Survive….

To Be Continued.

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