“Tell me what you know about dreaming, Edward.”

“Wait, you already did that.”

[Up.]

“I know. You wanted to me to say that, thus, that’s why I said it.”

[Befuddled, The Count slowly shakes his head.]

“Like, really Ed? I know your perch sits higher than most. I know your nose is forever pushed up from the number of times you’ve thumbed it towards another...”

“...but, CUM_AWN, DOOD.”

[Cancer shows the palms of his hands, as if to say he’s had his fill.]

“You’re no puppeteer. In fact, the only strings you pull are the ones transplanted to your face.”

[The Count nods his head with ever so righteous approval.]

“That said, allow me to further clue you in on some things.”

“Yes, we were friends. I have a picture from a helicopter ride to prove it.”

[RIOTZ.]

“Your world, the one that starts and stops with an Edward White blink of the eye-- has an occupancy of one.”

“The reason Jeff Andrews hasn’t lifted a finger towards you yet is because he thinks you’re a limo driver.”

[Jiles’ way of saying to buy a better suit.]

[If, that at all possible to begin with.]

“Bronson Box does what you say because he’s a midget sized idiot from Scotland who doesn’t know which eye to wear his patch on.”

[Uncharacteristically, King COOL removes the mirror tinted T-Shades from his clean shaven face. Even more so uncharacteristic is the fact you can actually see the white in his eyes.]

“Most importantly though, Ed, I want you to know that the only reason you’re as far along as you are... is because of me.”

“Oh, and Ed, everybody knows that.”

[A coy shrug, as if to say, sorry but facts are facts and that is final.]

“I’ve taken you to places money can’t buy. Before me, you were Edward White, former World Heavyweight Champion whose reign was talked about because the guy who hasn’t done a fucking thing since didn’t sound as good.”

“Before me, you were the guy who people thought was debuting show in and show out.”

“Before me, you were about as recognizable as a blade of grass, Ed.”

“Then, Money got COOL, and people started to remember who you were. They dusted off their old WfWA programs to see if you were still using the same finisher. They watched the black and white VHS tape of your years prior World Title win.”

“More importantly, they began to reinvest in Edward White, and it wasn’t because of your impressive portfolio.”

“It was because Cancer Jiles deemed you COOL.”

[And now you know.]

“From then, up until the day you stabbed me in the back... it was me, Ed, that was allowing someone to live. I afforded you the opportunity to prosper in a life you were incapable of purchasing. A life in the spotlight, under the hot lamp where the only thing money is good for is a closer seat to the show.”

“In the end, Ed, inside of a Steel Cage... I’m going to whip your ass with my coattails.”

“You should be more than familiar with them.”

[cut.]

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