You Ain’t Shit lll

The Big Easy…

Chance Von Crank’s bus pulls up a few blocks from Lake Front Arena. The driver and Crank’s personal assistants get off the bus after hours of riding. Chance walks down the steps and onto the sidewalk a short distance behind the others. Lilly approaches him.

Lilly: Chance that truck driver never showed up and we all think you should report Charlene at the very least missing.

cVc: No. That bitch owes me money and right now she’s working it off on some truck driver’s dick. I need you to find me a voodoo witch doctor.

Lilly: How am supposed to find one of those? Mr. Crank you really need to focus on this match and retaining your championship. It is really important to your brand.

cVc: Listen Bitch. I know my brand better than anyone because I Made It. We need to find one of these freaks that are down here. They know voodoo which is queer for magic and I have a fucking plan. Got it?

Lilly nods in agreement as she walks down the street in search of a voodoo witch doctor. She looks over at a building she is passing by and notices “Voodoo”. Chance watches as she enters the building passing through beads to enter. Chance pursues after her and soon they both stand in a shop with relics and voodoo material everywhere.

Lilly: This is a very bad idea, Mr. Crank.

cVc: We have to do this. Remember what you were ranting about back at the bus? This is one thing that can ensure we keep making fucking money.

Lilly: How?

Chance is about to reply as a woman bursts through a doorway of beads. She is behind the counter and welcomes the two into her shop.

Voodoo Woman: Welcome! My name is Mercedez, the Voodoo Queen of the 9^th ward.

cVc: Mercedez? What a fake ass accent too. Your grill looks more like a busted chevy, Mercedez.

Mercedez: Excuse me?

Lilly: He didn’t mean it. Look we are here about a certain kind of Voodoo spell.

Mercedez: No. I do no evil deeds, it is not the true way of Voodoo.

Chance reaches in his back pocket and pulls out a roll of money. This catches Lilly by total surprise.

Lilly: I thought you were broke? You sent your wife off with a trucker for shits and giggles???

cVc: Pretty Much. Fuck that whore and every hole that dirty trucker has left semen. I am here to win and this roll of money is for you Mercedez. I need you to use Voodoo this one time for evil but for your trouble you get these 50’s and 100’s. What do you say?

Mercedez begins taking jars of different items from the shelves behind the counter.

Mercedez: The ouanga, a charm used to poison an enemy, contained the poisonous roots of the figure maudit tree, brought from Africa and preserved in the West Indies. The ground up root was combined with other elements such as bones, nails, roots, holy water, holy candles, holy incense.

She begins mixing the items in a bowl. She brings out a small charm on a gold chain. After she mixes it all up she puts the contents into the small charm.

Mercedez: I need to bless this before the curse will take hold. What is the name of the man or woman who you wish to curse?

cVc: Lash Graham, Tucker G Alston, and Sam Turner Jr. All three of these men need cursed for the wrestling event being held a few blocks away.

Mercedez: So you wish to curse all three of these men?

cVc: I want them to suffer the wrath of poison. These motherfuckers plot against me and this is my ace in the hole. So do your thing bitch and make sure this works.

She continues as she finishes assembling the charm and cursing Chance’s three opponents. She finally finishes and hands the charm to him with a warning.

Mercedez: Heed my warning cVc.

Chance is caught off guard by this having never told her his name.

Mercedez: Everything you do to another living soul will come back on you three fold. Remember that Chance Von Crank. This curse will make you’re opponents very ill.  You may succeed this time but eventually the long arm of failure will find you.

Chance takes hold of her arm that is still holding onto him and pulls her close.

cVc: I can handle anything a bitch like you thinks she can dish out. I am the reason people will be here to look at this fucking shop the next few days. I draw people from they’re lazy sad existence to come watch me wrestle on a weekly basis. I have the attention of the masses and power like that I refuse to give up. So bitch do not threaten someone who could make you disappear with a few hundred dollars, shake your head if you’re going to keep me safe and keep your fucking mouth shut.

Mercedez shakes her head in agreement with cVc. He releases his hold on her arm then puts the small charm around his neck. Chance winks at her as he turns and exits the shop, curse in tow. Lilly chases after him and catches up to him right before he can get back on his bus.

Lilly: Chance this is dangerous. What if this curse is deadly?

cVc: Who cares? This is how I survive. I take the world on every single week out there on tv or some shitty place like Toledo not on television. I have pushed my career through road block after road block and if I can get anything that resembles an edge? You bet that sweet ass I am going to take it.

Lilly: What if one of them dies? This is not suppose to get this real, I didn’t sign up fo…

Chance puts his hand over Lilly’s mouth.

cVc: We have a real problem here then. Shit just got real and this curse is real. Lash Graham, Tucker, and even ole Sam will come to realize how do you beat a man this good that’s using magic. When they become ill and realize how ruthless a man they are dealing with it will be too late. All three of these men have no chance now and those kind of edges is why I’m champ. Do you want to be a good person or a rich one?

Lilly: A Rich One.

cVc: That’s exactly right, so stop bitching over some spilt milk. These men are in our fucking way, whore. One way or another they have to fall and hard. If this curse does kill them it just means one less person gunning for this title. My work speaks for itself. Beaten before the bell rings.

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