[HOOKERS AND BLOW!]

[Awwwwww yeah.]

[What, what?]

[All I'm saying is it's about to be on, dude!]

[What happened?]

[Ty's going the get Heidi right out of the gate. One. On. One.]

[Awwwwww yeah!]

[Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww... YEAH!]

[You challenge me? AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!]

[Ahem. Padding.]

[Right, right, focus.]

[Do you think they'll need to replace the mat after the match?]

[After they burn the one those two get to paint a masterpiece of violence on?]

[Yeah.]

[Definitely.]

[Let's get to it, yeah?]

[Fade it up.]

[Fading.]

TYRONE WALKER:
"Hello."

[Blackimus Prime.]

"Heidi Christensen."

[He stands before us with only a brick wall behind him serving as a backdrop.]

"My name is Tyrone Walker."

[Pants on, shirt off, displaying his trademark road map of scars that cover his upper body.]

"And I'mma cut your titties off and wear that shit like Princess Leia ear muffs."

[He waves with an all to disturbingly enthusiastic smile stretched across his face.]

"I mean, let's be real here, it's the very least that I could do after all you've done for and to me. After all I figured I'd just show up, throw some plunder around, smash people with international objects, and after kickin' a some niggas up and around their head spaces I'd get paid and do it up TD style during the after party. Then someone like yourself just has to come around and be all like, NO, I'mma drag your ass through glass, broken tables, concession stands, bathrooms, parking lots, grocery stores, my mama's church, your mama's church, everybodies goddamn church and kickin' a nigga all up in his goddamn head like I was a pinata with your favorite candy that tastes like the blood of Tom Sawyer locked away inside."

[Exhale, inhale, exhale, continue.]

"Now usually this is where I'd just be all sorts of turned on and wanting to play with your naughty bits."

[Pause. Looking back at all of us as if we're all like "what the fuck?"]

"What can I say, I'm a fucked up individual who likes 'em all crazy and violent. Makes it more fun, kna'mean?"

[Wink.]

"But nah, man. I can clearly see that's not the kinda fun you're after since you're all about being serious business."

[A full body shrug. It happens as the Black Jesus accepts that this won't be a sexy fun time event.]

"So fine, I'll play that game and revert back to what I said before. I'mma cut your shit off and wear it like some fleshy ear muffs."

[If a big, flashing exclamation point surrounded by fireworks could suddenly materialize it would to emphasize his seriousness.]

"And yes. I'm serious... mostly."

[Well, that would do as well.]

"See I might be legally insane or whatever they call crazy muthafuckas who don't walk around killin' niggas for fun or 'cause it's Tuesday. I'm just real good friends with being insane, but I'm not some ig'nant ass nigga who's gonna be talkin' 'bout how you're just some girl and I'mma man and goin' on about how this shit can only go down one way 'cause I'm big and you're small and whatever the hell else someone has probably told you once or twice. And you know why? I mean other than that whole crazy not stupid thing. 'Cause I know you can get your fight on and you done did a good job of makin' sure that message was heard."

[His face scrunches up a bit with a smirk as he nods in agreement with his own statement.]

"And I definitely heard it alright. I heard that shit so loud and clear that my heads still ringin' like a muthafucka with that World Star level beatin' you threw my way. Which is good. It's real good actually. It means this thing we're 'bout to do is gonna be all sorts of fun."

[That disturbingly enthusiastic expression returns. It's not really all that blatant though. It's more subtle, it's not so much in his face, but there is a slight and lopsided smile curling up on one side of his mouth and his eyes have this glimmer in them that tell the story. That story being about how this man looks forward to doing things to a woman that can only ever be legal inside a wrestling ring.]

[Like he said. Crazy.]

"See I really don't care about winnin' or losin' this thing. I mean sure, if I win, that'd be cool and all. You'll just be another once upon a time World Champion who got their name notched on my personal wall of fame. And if I lose?"

[His arms raise up as he shrugs.]

"It's all good. I ain't gonna be here for the short term anyway, 'cause this things just gettin' started and if I was afraid of losin' then we wouldn't be here with this little happy fun time we got comin' up. Now as far as what I see happenin'? I can't give ya any concrete idea of what's gonna go down, but I'm personally lookin' to do some shit out there that's gonna make good ol' Keebs blush and even make my nigga Angus think that we're goin' too far."

[Inhale, exhale, he focuses.]

"Basically what I'm sayin' is... After all of this crazy is done with."

"Then... and only then."

[Pauuuuuuuuuuuuse.]

"We can be friends."

"And if not? Well... at least I'll have some cool new ear muffs."

[Out.]

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