Part ll

Chance Von Crank's tour bus sits on the side of a Washington state highway in a field. The driver pulled it into a field and outside is every table from inside the bus. The tables are covered in Charlene's stuff and anyone else’s he could dig up from the bus. Outside the bus his crew walks around selling the various items. Chance just walked back onto the bus and is standing in the kitchen area. Charlene sneaks up behind him snatching a shiny butcher knife from the kitchen drawer. He turns toward Charlene as she shoves him into the cabinets bringing the knife around. She sticks it into the cabinet right beside hs head. She is breathing heavily as he grins at her.

cVc: Like my daddy always said... You got to train a bitch to mind.

Chance pushes Charlene to the ground after retrieving the knife. He tosses it in the sink and reaches in the bottom drawer. Chance pulls out an orange collar with a box built on the side of it. Charlene wiggles and tries to get past Crank as he wraps the dog shock collar around her neck. Soon after locking it around her neck and making sure she has slack to breathe he pushes her away. Charlene immediately attempts to get the collar off.

    !*ZAP*!                      !*ZAP*!                          !*ZAP*!                                                                  

Chance stops pressing the button on the remote as Charlene gives in. Chance squats down so he can be face to face with her.

cVc: This shit ends here right now. You just tried to kill me in my own tour bus, cum catcher. I will take it off when you start being a good whore. Now get out there and sell all that shit I took from your bags. NOW!

Chance looks at the hole in the cabinet realizing she almost did it this time. A big sign of relief as he heads toward the bus exit to see how his yard sale outside is going. He grabs his belt on the way out and throws it over his shoulder. As he exits the bus he notices a group of fans gathered over by the tables. They begin screaming, "Champion!" He struts toward them and notices a few of them have cameras.

cVc: So you all are Trailer Park Prodigy fans?

Fan in Blue Shirt: How much for the purple double headed dildo?

cVc: Well it belongs to Charlene and I think she borrowed it from Tucker G Alston.

Group of fans begin laugh.

cVc: It's 5 dollar as it sits. But... If you want it signed by yours truly that will be 100 dollars. Wait it gets better, ill sign it and cut a promo right here right now for your cameras for 350$...

The fans begin handing Chance money. This catches him off guard as they turn the cameras toward him. He calmly clutches his Southern Heritage Championship and looks at the ground. Slowly he brings his head back up to have complete eye contact with the cameras.

cVc: You call Tucker a real opponent? You honestly think he has a snow ball chance in hell of taking my strap? Where the fuck is this asshole anyway? Tucker knows deep down he cannot defeat the Shock N Rolla.  This is because you have no sack and being a man is something you are yet to achieve. You became a wrestler because of connections, I became a wrestler to escape a hole digging coal in Kentucky. There is no comparison here in what it takes to hold this belt. You are not good enough to beat me. You know it, and I know it and so does Sam Turner Jr.

Chance keeps signing things as the fans keep handing him money.

cVc: Tucker, you have so much in common with these cVc fans here. You are semi-retarded and will buy anything I fucking sell. Still they buy and buy because my name holds more weight than your back can handle. This is your night in the big lights. I welcome you to where I am the most comfortable and at my very best. You are no threat what so ever to me and to even joke about it makes me sick. Now you are hiding from me and that may just be the smartest move you have made so far. That feeling in your stomach just means you’re a bitch. Material things mean nothing to me as you can see. cVc will be having yard sales up and down this highway for two more days so get here and buy this shit.

Charlene: Don't care about material things, huh cocksucker? Then why in the fuck are we just selling our shit and none of yours here?

    !*ZAP*!                      !*ZAP*!                          !*ZAP*!                                                                  

Charlene hits the ground after Chance hits the button the shock collar remote. Laughter breaks out among the white trash fans who have gathered. He looks back at the camera.

cVc: I can only imagine the shit that will fill those tights after you realize the real shit you're in. I find myself laughing at you late at night as you lay in your hotel crying about not being good enough. Tucker Sucks Pecker! Tucker Sucks Pecker!

The fans he is signing various items for begin chanting, Tucker Sucks Pecker!

cVc: The most hated man in wrestling has more fans than you do Tucker. Think about that when you strut to that ring with that diluted shit headed idea that you have a chance. Just remember I made all this possible for you. Listen... Shhh...

Chance holds his hand up to his ear as everyone goes quiet to listen.

cVc: You hear that? That's thousands of motherfuckers clicking online, going to the venue, and doing anything to buy tickets to see The Trailer Park Prodigy at any cost. Someone hand me a pencil cause watch me fucking draw. Tucker.... You are something for me to beat on and sell shirts slash action figures and tickets for Trailer Park Boys 3. No offense, but you didn't earn dick and I mean that. That is a fact and you have to live with during the beating of your life. I will destroy any sense of safe you have. Just leave that shit at home because your life is about to change forever. I have a point to get across, and leave the mark across your skull to prove it. You think you got what it takes? We will fucking see asshole.

Chance signs the double headed purple dildo last before walking back toward his bus. He walks by Charlene and suddenly....

    !*ZAP*!                      !*ZAP*!                          !*ZAP*!                                                                  

Charlene hits the dirt again as he hits the button three more times. The fans begin to get very pissed as they realize Crank signed everything, "Eat Shit and Die" rather than his name. He laughs as he hears the first of them curse his name as shuts the bus door behind him.

More Propaganda | View Chance Von Crank's Biography