You're a b…b…b… Bitch.

People outside the UCSB Events Center have waited for days for a mere glimpse of they’re favorite DEFIANCE Wrestler.  Throughout the crowd are the white trash alumni. More and more support for Chance Von Crank builds after each title defense. The crowd swells and swelters in the heat waiting to get something signed or a photo with a superstar.  The fans stand behind gates as security all around the outside are informed of someone incoming. They split the crowd in two and hustle them all behind the gate as the crowd can begin to hear an approaching chopper coming. The excitement builds with all the fans as they wonder who is in the helicopter. The parking lot now has a big enough gap between the fans for the helicopter to land as security holds the crowd back to give the pilot time to land. Suddenly stage hands for the show come out side rolling huge speakers out to the corners of the parking lot. This peaks the fans interest as they now can see the helicopter approaching. The pilot takes his time to make sure no fans are in any danger as he hovers over the lot slightly before easing the chopper down.  A Shot gun cocks and then fires over the loud speakers recently rolled out by staff. Tables outside the center with unsigned pictures of superstars begin to fly everywhere as the chopper attempts to touch down.  The crowd is split but everyone is making noise as…

“SHOCK N ROLLA… HERE TO SHOW YA…. Cocked Back And Fucking Loaded!”

“Chance…”

“Von….”

“Crank!”

“GO FUCK YOURSELF!”

The crowd is livid by the time cVc’s new theme blasts over the speakers as the chopper door slides open. The sparkling rhinestone robe is hit by the sun indicating he is in the chopper. The blades of the choppers begin to slow as he slides out of it and slicks his mullet back, as he crouches slightly to avoid the blades. After he clears them he slicks his mullet back once more and slings the excess of oil into the face of a fan as he spins around holding his Southern Heritage Championship high into the air. He slaps the front of his title three times before bending completely over to really sell the power it takes to sling his belt over his shoulder. The crowd is eating it up as he walks over to the gate put my security. He notices a kid wearing a Walker t-shirt. The kid is reaching a pen at Chance as he looks over at the kid’s mother. She is wearing a white and tight wife beater cheering for cVc as he walks toward them.  She has enormous breasts and the tight shirt really shows them off.

cVc: How about a picture rather than autograph?

Kid: YEAH! YEAH!

Chance puts his arm around the kid and his mother as someone working the event takes the picture for the two fans. Chance reaches around the child’s mother and squeeze’s her breast just as the man takes the picture. The woman licks her lips at Chance as he leans in and grabs her tongue with his teeth before sucking it in for a deep kiss. The kid is unsure about all this attention bestowed upon his mother.  Chance continues squeezing her breast and kissing her deeply. He stops suddenly and moves back from the gate taking the camera from the staff member and smashing it on the ground. Chance tells a security guard to get his megaphone. The man storms over to Chance with his personal megaphone with his famous, “cVc” logo on both sides. He turns it on and then turns his rage toward the kid and his mother.

cVc: Fuck You Kid and your big tittied momma! Get these two pieces of shit out of my sight! Don’t give me that fucking look either bitch, you’re the one allowing this fucking brat to wear a queer’s shirt out in public. Show Me Fucking Respect, Danny McBride’s playing me in a fucking movie!

Chance using the megaphone has the crowd acting wild. He walks down the gate using the megaphone as he does. These fans are made of people from all over the United States and locals from the Santa Barbara area. He walks along the outside of the gate making fun of the fans that have gathered. He stops at a man wearing overhauls with one strap holding them up.  He is wearing cVc’s newest t-shirt underneath the overhauls.

cVc:  Hey you!

The Man Points at himself.

cVc: Yeah you! How much did you spend on your tickets?

“Nearly 200 dollars but I GOT FRONT ROW!” He Screams at Crank.

cVc: Why would you pay that much money that you obviously cannot afford?

“TO SEE THE TRAILER PARK PRODIGY! FUCK YEAH!” , He responds.

Chance continues to scream through his megaphone. He points his aggression to the building indicating he believes Walker is within hearing distance.

cVc: Did you hear that you black cock sucker? This man is going broke and living underneath a barn looks like but he still could not fucking resist the urge to see The White Trash Savior live and in PERSON! Do not adjust your television screens at home, it is I, THE TRAILER PARK PRODIGY! The wait is over… You now have no reason to want to get inside that building because the reason you came is in the fucking parking lot!

This crowd is wild as Chance continues to cut his final promo with the fans and the real wrestling fans are blown away. People inside the building are leaving signing lines to come back out to see what Chance is doing. The crowd continues to swell barely being held back by the security gates now.

cVc: This show is where I make my mark. I show the whole fucking world of doubters, pussies and anyone who watches that other company what true dog shit they are. HOW in the fuck are all those faggots still in business? Bend over Ty and open up. I’m about to fuck you up. This is your last chance to run before I get inside that arena. Better eat some fried chicken too faggot, because after tonight all your shit will be tube fed. Remember they are all going to laugh at you when you shit your pants in that ring. You are not on my level and your first mistake was assuming you are. I will take any credibility you have tonight when I hold those shoulders to the mat for one… two… three. I will hold you down Ty just like society has done because of the color of your skin. This is not about race or anything even like that. This is about you not being good enough and me showing you why.

Chance turns the megaphone around and runs along the gates as fans attempt to scream through it as he storms by. One fan screams, “TY is Fake!” and Chance stops to let him continue. Fans scattered throughout the crowd for Crank begins to chant the same line.

cVc: Your desperation shows from all those shitty shot promo’s this week. The People want quality not quantity, shit stain. That’s the last piece of advice I am giving you besides this. Just forfeit, no shame in being a bitch when you always was to begin with. All of these people know what the fuck is up. You think you can just say this and lie about yourself all week and they wouldn’t notice? You are so cookie cutter made as a black superstar they should call you The Generic Black Wrestler. The people give me my nicknames not some writer in the back though. See this gear I am wearing, Ty? It is all custom made. See these boots I have tailored specifically for The Shock N Rolla’s feet? These people calling you fake may be dumb as fuck but they do have that much right. It’s a long road shit head so buckle up. Tonight Ty is when I send you back down the card… Back to where you can compete with other shitheads none of these people care about.  It’s just so played out a black gangster who can’t wrestle. I will fucking get my revenge on all the male butthole enthusiasts who wronged me at the last show too. Oh Yes… Look over you’re shoulders at every turn because none of you are safe on this night. Ty said he was going to steal my belt? I think that’s what he said, half the shit doesn’t make any sense and by the time it does make sense, not one person gives a fuck. Honestly this nut sack is beneath me and all of you people know it! Now who wants some shit signed by The Prince of The Pullout?

The fans in next to the gate extend with all they have as Chance just laughs at them as he heads back for the helicopter as the pilot starts it back up. cVc climbs back on board and shuts the door as the blades begin to spin faster and faster. The chopper lifts off as they tear down the security gate.

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