FADE IN

Sitting behind a large wooden desk is Dan Ryan. A ceiling-to-floor window is behind him, looking down over downtown Houston, Texas. Ryan is looking down at something in his hand, pulling it apart piece by piece, but we can't quite yet see what it is.

DAN RYAN:
Sometimes it's just good to lay all your cards out on the table. Every so often, I get put into one of these situations where there are more men in the ring than a wrestling ring should be able to hold, and when that happens, I like to know where everybody stands.

For all your protestations of honor and nobility, you, Tom Sawyer, are a hothead. Believe me, the pot knows a kettle when he sees one. However, in this case, I must assure you that the pot has years and years of knowing how to focus his energies in the proper direction, and you Tom, being five-foot-nothing, a hundred-nothing pounds of hotheaded righteous rage, are going to get yourself nothing but a broken neck and liquid nutrition out of a straw if you keep it up.
Let's get something straight. I never asked for your help, Tom. Python saved my neck, and I returned the favor. I'm not one unfamiliar with karma, and I'm not opposed to helping a guy out now and again.

But the truth is, the buttons that need pushing to push you over the edge are open and out for us all to see. It seems I can press them whenever I need to, so since I'm so currently willing to let you know what's going on right now, how about you rethink this propensity of yours to get on my bad side, hmm? I assure you, I've seen all I need to see to know that I can move in and live rent free right inside your melon anytime I want to.

So I don't feel like hearing you lecture me on loyalty and trust. Who gives a shit? You think that just because you got your wrestling good guy merit badge that I'm obliged to sit at a table and listen to you talk about it? And just because I tell you eloquently to shut the fuck up, you get on your Bill Cosby high horse and tell Eddie Murphy to stop cursing on stage?

Your tired accusations of my being a bully and lording my championships over everyone are tired and out of date, my friend. I'm a bully only in the sense that I dominate in the ring. I don't use people to get what I want. I take what I want by being the best in the ring. My championship pedigree is a matter of record, not something I print onto a t-shirt to walk around town in.

If you have a problem with any of that?? -- seriously Tom, I don't give a fuck, so go find Huckleberry, sit around a fire with some marshmallows with Jim and shove it up your ever-loving ass, alright?

Ten men are going into the ring this week, and I intend to be on the side that wins. All you have to do is pull your weight, and since you barely weigh enough to keep you from floating away to fairy land, that shouldn't be too much trouble for you.

As you say, Ed White and Bronson Box will be keeping me plenty busy, but I've more than proven myself worthy of the fight I have in front of me, and you better damn well believe that whatever you've seen of me, you've only scraped the tip of the iceberg.

I'm not here for your approval, and I have no intention of getting down on one knee and bowing down to you and what YOU THINK a wrestler should be. I am what I am, Tom, and for nearly two decades, it's made me one of the best that this sport has ever seen. I don't have to SAY IT. I go in the ring and prove it every single time I'm booked.

I hope you know what your mouth has gotten you into.

And one more thing...

The camera finally shows that Ryan has been ripping apart, piece by piece, the cardboard album sleeve of Rush's "Moving Pictures".

DAN RYAN:
I fuckin' hate Rush.

Ryan flings what's left of it across the room and continues his glare into the camera as we....

FADE OUT

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