Knock, knock.

“Hold on, I’m coming.” A voice shouts.

Knock, knock.

“Yeah, yeah. Give me a minute, okay!?”

The inside of this particular apartment is a disaster. The front door is attached to the living room and there are empty pizza boxes everywhere, some with pizza crust still wasting away, appearing to have been sitting out like this for days, or weeks. PlayStation 2, 3 and 4 games are scattered all over the floor. There’s some XBox stuff, too… a number of controllers and Forza games. In addition, there are PlayStation 1 jewel cases as well but all of them are cracked, a scene that would no doubt put Conor Fuse into a bout of PTSD.

Knock, knock.

The man inside is scrambling to look for… something. He’s not even tidying up. He’s misplaced an item and needs it before the seemingly impatient man on the other end is invited inside. 

Knock, knock.

Realizing he’s unsuccessful, the man finally sucks in some air and marches to the door. He opens it up and reveals Mark Shields on the other end, wearing his referee outfit and an uneasy look.

“Mark, hey man!” The resident says, as he invites Mark in. “I wasn’t expecting you. I thought you were someone… else.”

Mark strolls into the apartment, taking in the surroundings. “Nice. You cleaned up.” He remarks, without a hint of sarcasm. The referee really means it, which could make someone wonder what state this apartment is usually in.

“Yeah, well, shit man.” Replies the unidentified person. “If I had known it was you, I would’ve cleaned more!”

This was probably a lie but for the purpose of the encounter it doesn’t matter. Mark doesn’t take his shoes off. Instead, he clears some pizza boxes off the sofa and kicks his feet onto more boxes laying on the coffee table in front.

“So,” Shields starts, “what’s my little brother been up to these days?”

The younger Shields rolls his eyes. “Same shit, different day. What about you? I see you’re on the television a lot more recently.”

Mark nods. “Yes, apparently I’m a very good referee. They love me.”

Mark also says this without sarcasm. While the truth may be Mark is a more… amen… entertaining of a referee, he certainly isn’t good at his job.

“Kyle, you know if you wanted a job there I could definitely get you one.” Mark mentions as he leans back on the sofa, for what looks to be his resting place for the foreseeable future.

Kyle laughs it off. “Naaa, that’s okay, bro. I got hooked up with this guy online. He’s mentoring me within his sales department.”

“Sales department?” Mark asks.

“Yeah. Guy is running a website, like Amazon but it’s all about getting you hooked up with the right… uhhhh, happy endings service if you hear what I’m saying.”

Mark is digging it. “Shit man, sounds legit.”

“Oh, it’s legit alright. It’s got a lot of hits already and we have an app going on, too. The guy’s hoping to take down Tinder, Bumble, Grindr and all that other stuff. You know, straight to the ‘good times’. Tinder used to be like that but now everyone on it wants a relationship and shit.” Kyle starts talking like he’s speaking to Tinder users and not his brother anymore. “Y’all on there have to know you’re not finding Prince Charming. Every dude is swiping and swiping and swiping, with ONE thing on their mind. Like, seriously.”

Mark agrees. “Seriously.”

There’s some silence as Kyle goes back to finding whatever it is he was initially looking for.

“So, what’s the app called?” Mark asks.

“Slamazon.” Kyle says immediately. “But it’s not an app, yet. We’ve got a website up and the guy is just telling me how to sell it to people, ya know?”

Mark digs into his pocket and takes out his phone. “Well, let me know when the app launches. That’ll be a damn good app to have…”

Kyle looks up from the numerous shit on the floor he’s going through. “Are you not seeing that… uhh… Bertha anymore, is it?”

“Oh, no, I am. I’m seeing lots of people.” The elder Shields says with a weak grin. “But the more the merrier.”

Kyle stopped listening. He immediately snaps up, holding the item he was looking for in his hands. “GOT IT!”

It’s a bag of weed. He throws it on the table in front of Mark, who upon seeing this rubs his hands together with a smile.

“Oh, don’t get too excited.” Kyle states, pushing pizza boxes off the other part of the sofa so he can take a seat beside his brother. “Because I got this shit, too…”

Kyle throws down a bag of snow.

“Christmas already.” Mark says. “Let’s get the good times rolling…”

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