“I don’t know who’s in it, I don’t care who’s in it, I’m specifically NOT going to find out who’s in it or listen to anything anyone has to say, because it’s Evolution League, what could anything on this show have to do with anything that I care about?”

 

“It doesn’t.”

 

“The thing that no one seems to realize about being on Evolution League is… look, my entire career I’ve been subjected to the whole routine where someone says that I’m a girl, that I’m too close to someone in a position of political power, and so instead of letting me ‘get away’ with ‘easy wins’, they’re going to ‘expose me’ as a fraud.  Elijah Goldman isn’t the first person who’s done that, he probably won’t be the last one, but you know what?”

 

“I’ve defended myself against that often enough that I don’t feel the need to bother doing it one more time.”

 

“It’s just… boring.”

 

“Yeah, there it is, there’s that B word.”

 

“Boring.”

 

“I don’t have the interest in going through that routine with one more person, let alone with a league full of douchebags who’re being lead like a chorus.  Something I’ve noticed, and that I hope everyone else has noticed as well, is that it’s never the people who’re somebody that try to do that.  Christian Light’s never attributed all my success in the ring to Jeff Andrews.  Boston Bancroft never accused me of being completely average and only getting attention because I’m a girl.  Even Bronson Box, as much as he hates me, tried to claim that what I did somehow didn’t count.”

 

“Here’s the thing.”

 

“It did.”

 

“I’m a three time World Champion and most of you haven’t ever touched a World Championship Belt.”

 

“I’m.  Better.  Than.  All.  Of.  You.”

 

“I’m SO much better, that I don’t even need to beat you in a match to prove it.”

 

“Just like that match against Alceo Dentari back a few weeks ago, when I supposedly embarrassed myself… let me tell you what’s really going to happen.  Alceo Dentari is going to win the league because Evolution League is full of nothing but second rate sports entertainers, because Elijah Goldman doesn’t know a pro wrestler from a Chippendale.  He’ll get into the final round, and whoever wins HERI, whether it’s Christian Light or Claira St. Sure or even Cancer Jiles, is going to absolutely, utterly, destroy him.”

 

“If someone trips up Dentari and it’s Yoshikazu YAZ who goes to the finals?  Same thing.  He will get annihilated, point blank, by whoever wins HERI.”

 

“And before you even think of getting smartass and saying something like “But Heidi the only reason you’re throwing the tournament is because you’re scared you can’t win”, don’t even bother.  I’ve lost lots of times.  If it was something simple like that, I could quit… just like the last time Goldman fired me.  How often do firings stick in pro wrestling?  I allowed that, and you all know it.”

 

“I came back because wrestling people like Christian Light and Claira St. Sure actually has appeal to me.  But if I’m going to be stuck on evo, at least I can expose this league for what it is, at least I can be a constant pain in Elijah Goldman’s side…”

 

“And don’t forget the part where being on evo means I can beat up the people on evo.  The fatter they are the less it hurts my shins when I kick them, after all.”

 

“And then, once Heritage League inevitably wins this tournament in short, brutal, humiliating-for-Goldman fashion, everything can go back to normal.”

 

“And then maybe I’ll feel like winning back MY World Title.”

 

“The World Title that I’ve won and none of you ever will.”

 

“If that gets your anti-wedgie thongs in a twist…”

 

“Tough.”