Title: Search Party Cyrus Mission 007
Featuring: Cyrus Bates
Date: 7/16/2021
Location: Steamy Rooftops

City rooftops.


Smoke and steam emerge from the building ceiling vents as a starry night sky engulfs the city. Shadowy figures dart around the rooftops, fighting each other.

Cyrus Bates:

Cyrus Bates, decked out in a karate Gi, chops down the henchmen as MEE6, ALEX and Kingpin aren’t too far behind.

Cyrus Bates:
Where do we go from here!? We’ve been fighting these soldiers forever!

MEE6 headbutts one as ALEX sweeps another’s legs. Kingpin cracks the skull of a soldier with a hellacious elbow shot.

There’s a penthouse up ahead. We must get to its boiler room. There’s a portal there. Trust me but I don’t want to get my pinstriped suit dirty.

The fearsome foursome carves a path through the enemies and over the rooftops until they arrive at a huge tower.

Right. The penthouse. Jolly good. Now we gotta get to the boiler room.

As if superpower was his middle name, Cyrus puts Kingpin, MEE6 and ALEX on his back as they zip line down to the penthouse entrance. They bust into the lobby, dispose of any goons and casually take the elevator down to the boiler room.

Cyrus Bates:
This better pay off.

Bates looks at Kingpin with disdain in his eyes as they all exit the elevator and cautiously walk through the dark, dingy basement. Some lights flicker, sparks fly, and the heat of the boiler room makes everyone sweat. They arrive at a red door that says CAUTION on it.

Alas lads, it is here where I must bid you ado. You see, I said I can’t get my pinstriped tuxedo dirty so you three must enter this door and find the portal. Trust me, you’ll thank me later.

As if running across rooftops didn’t dirty his clothes, the ominous Kingpin bows and seemingly disappears into the darkness. Cyrus, MEE6 and ALEX all exchange looks.

Cyrus Bates:
Welp. Who is ready to take the plunge?

More Propaganda | View Cyrus Bates's Biography



"The next superlative I’m handing out like free candy from Chris Ross’ van goes to the person who is most likely to be confused with an NPC! And the winner is… Gunnar Van Patton! I guess nobody told this living, breathing checklist of clichés he’d shoot his eye out!! At least not in time for Christmas, anyway!!"

- "The Provocateur" Arthur Pleasant




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