"Lemme tell yew baysterds somethin' real quick."

[Defiance's only real Mastadon, Frank Dylan James, stares wild-eyed directly into the camera in front of him. Apparently the big man's been paying attention to the ins and outs of the business. That, or somebody tricked him into cutting a promo on a weird looking little box with a blinking red light.]

FDJ:
What ah did t' that fat-bodied poofball Yoo-Jean Dookey ain't even a drop in th' ol' fishin' barrel compared to what ah'm a'gon do when ah git mah hands on that cartoon network wanna be pretty boy faygit Jonny Boo-Yah!

[Spit flies out of his mouth with every sylable, some of it getting into his tangled of a beard.]

FDJ:
Ain't none'a that fancy talkin' an' muscle flexin' nonsense gonna do ya no good ya ugly baysterd. Ol' Frank ain't gon be listenin' ta nobody talkin' no more shit about how he ain't that baddest mammer-jammer on this whole daggumed show, ya hear?

[He waits, as if for an answer. It doesn't come.]

FDJ:
So bring yer ass down ta Noo Orr Leens, put yer fancy sunglasses on an make sure you get all that shit in yer hair so it stan's up jes right fer th' womens, but un'nerstand that when ya set foot in that there rasslin rang with Eff Dee Jay, yer gon' wish it was yer daddy takin' yeh out t' the woodshed instead of ol' Frank!

[He smiles his broken-toothed smile.]

FDJ:
Now somebody gimme a got-damn BURR!

[Cut,.]

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