Title: "The Presser"
Featuring: Mikey Unlikely
Date: 3/1/16
Location: ASCC Campus

We open to a room full of media and press. In the front of the room, a number of tables and chair are set up across the stage. A large contingency of the media seem to be sports related. ESPM is here, Go Sports Net, and The Big Eleven Network.

A voice comes over the loudspeaker.

OSV:
Ladies and Gentleman, please welcome your Alabama State Community College Muskrats Basketball team!

A light applause around the room as star players and coaches of this university basketball team gather around the tables and sit. Obviously this is a post game press conference.

As the applause die down, not too many people notice someone walk from the floor of the media room, onto the stage. He sits down on the last seat behind the tables with a hoodie over his head. A reporter in the third row stands to his feet with a question for the team.

Reporter One:
Coach Scarpeezy, congratulations on your fourth consecutive division title. Tell us a little bit about what that means for both you and this team?

The coach at the far end of the room, wearing his full suit tests his mic before speaking.

Scarpeezy:
Well you know, I couldn’t be any more proud of this team than I am now. Four consecutive division titles, four consecutive trips to the big tournament. ASCC is the greatest college basketball program going today, and I couldn’t be happier!


Another reporter stands up to ask their question.

Reporter Two:

Coach, Next year ASCC is slated to move up a division and make their long awaited debut in the S.E.P. What are your thoughts?

The coach begins to answer the question but is abruptly cut off by the mystery man at the other end of the tables.

Mystery Man:
Debuts!? You wanna talk Debuts!? Well then do I have a debut for you!

The man stands up, and removes his hood and holds out his arms, waiting for the enormous gasp of surprised air being released from everyone's mouths. Only it never comes. The back door of the place opens and in marches a high school band into the press conference. They are playing very loudly. The march to the front of the room and flank the stage. Two of the people hold a wooden stick with a ribbon tied to them that read “MIKEY UNLIKELY”

Unlikely grabs the mic from its holder.

Mikey Unlikely:
In one short week I will make my DEFIANCE IN RING DEBUT!!

The band breaks into “Eye of the Tiger” as Unlikely continues.

Mikey Unlikely:
Now I know what most of you must be thinking! Why would one Mr. Michael Q Unlikely lower himself to ugly, torturous depths of DEFIANCE. Allow me to make myself perfectly clear. Mikey Unlikely goes where the market dictates! DEFIANCE is the hottest wrestling promotion around ever since the AMAZING, INCREDIBLE, ULTIMATE TOUGHNESS ALLIANCE folded.

He makes a grand gesture for that Utah like atmosphere. Security finally kicking into gear is coming through the double doors, and trying to locate the distraction.

Mikey Unlikely:
Where there is a spotlight, there is Mikey Unlikely. Where there is a ridiculously high paycheck, there is Mikey Unlikely. Where there is a camera, there is Mikey Unlikely! This debut is only the beginning! Tune in live to DEFtv, to watch Mikey change the face of wrestling forever. I mean, who could go wrong with a face like this?

He smiles and points to himself. Security is in stride down the aisle now, fighting their way past the marching band.

Mikey Unlikely:
Ah here come two adamant fans now, surely looking for an autogr….

He is cut off when he is tackled by the security team. They drag him from the stage as Mikey tries to fight free of the guards. He is shouting as they finally carry him from the room.

Mikey Unlikely:
LIVE! DEFtv! ON HULU! MIKEY UNLIKELY! GREATEST ENTERTAINER EVERRRRRRR

The marching band finally finishes their tune and slowly exit the room as we fade away.



 



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