Title: "You've Got To Be Fucking Kidding Me"
Featuring: Mikey Unlikely
Date: 8/9/16
Location: Kelly Evans Office

“You have got to be fucking kidding me!”

The voice is that of woman in charge. Kelly Evans stands with hands on hips, looking across her desk in disbelief.

As the scene turns around we discover that not only is Kelly Evans looking at one person, she’s looking at five…

The Sports Entertainment Guild!

In the chairs sit Mikey Unlikely and Kendrix. Behind them stand the brand new DEFIANCE Tag Team Champions, the Pop Culture Phenoms. Finally, towering over the group is Klein. The box on his head is unable to mask the terror in his eyes from looking at the “Matriarch of DEFIANCE” - and with good reason, because she looks like she’s about to blow a gasket. He keeps The D between himself and Kelly.

Kelly Evans:
I explicitly told each and every one of you that I would not tolerate any interference in the Southern Heritage Championship match!

Unlikely smiles back. He slaps JFK on the shoulder who chuckles a bit and breaks the silence.

Kendrix:
Aaaand….. we didn't interfere, little lassie!

Without missing a beat Evans cuts him off.

Kelly Evans:
First off, call me that again and you’ll be out of a job and panhandling in the French Quarter. What the hell do you call that little stunt? The lights go out!? The screen lights up with YOUR face?!

She points directly at Kendrix, who tries to get her to pump the brakes.

Kendrix:
Listen, Yeah!? The D, Elise, and JFK were ATTACKED!

Across the desk, Evans rolls her eyes HARD!

The D:
IT”S TRUE! We were innocently in the back, selling our newest album, trying to keep up with the MILLIONS of fans trying to buy it...and out of nowhere… Lamond Alexander Robertson started attacking our fists with his face!

The D grabs his wrist and feigns injury.

Elise Ares:
It was terrible! We didn’t know what to do! Eventually, he knocked himself out and almost broke his own arm with a chair!

Unlikely’s smile is a mile wide by now. Kelly is less than impressed.

Kendrix:
But wait… there’s more! SO they started loading LAR, the sore loser, into the ambulance...and out of nowhere comes your camera crew! Your production! YOUR employees, came to get the big scoop! Can JFK help that they turned them on, and showed the audience what was happening?!

Jesse shrugs his shoulders and looks around at his stablemates who defiantly shake their heads at the Boss.

Kendrix:
Well, if you expect JFK to control YOUR employees, than he’s going to need a pay raise… Management ain't in my job description, but it IS on my resume!

Evans pinches her nose and looks to the ground. Barely audible, she asks…

Kelly Evans:
And the lights?

Klein stands up straight instantly. He is visibly shaking now. He starts whistling under the box innocently...of course.  

Mikey Unlikely:
Maybe next time you don’t book such a shoddy arena? Remember the Super Bowl? New Orleans has a history of this stuff… always letting us down at the biggest moments! You know, I have some connects in LA. I could maybe get us in somewhere elite next year… I’m talking next level stuff!

Kelly Evans:
So you expect me to believe that this was not premeditated?

Kendrix and Mikey look at each other in utter shock at the accusation before looking back at Kelly with the same expression across their faces.

Kendrix:
Obvs!

Unlikely stands up and places the Southern Heritage Championship over his shoulder.

Mikey Unlikely:
Totally Obvs! Miss Evans, not only do I expect it, I demand it. If there is one thing I am, it is honorable! I am a purist when it comes to sports entertainment! As a matter of fact, I have defended this championship more often than not recently and come DEFtv 69 I have a very important announcement to make regarding my HOLLYWOOD Heritage Championship!

He puts on his douchey designer shades as JFK slips on the goggles. The D adjusts the tie on his suit and Elise Ares winks at Kelly. Klein, confused, spins his box around. Unfortunately, this prevents him from seeing as the eye holes now sit in the back.

Mikey Unlikely:
Let’s go Sports Entertain, guys!

They strut out of the room. Klein bumps up against the wall next to the door a couple times before hitting the opening. Kelly Evans shakes her head, crosses her arms, and sighs.



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