Title: DEFIANCE Exclusive: Meet Oscar Burns
Featuring: Oscar Burns
Date: 6/16/17
Location: DEF HQ

The camera cuts to the backstage interview area with none other than the lovely and what some would call… bubbly, Christie Zane.

Christie Zane:
Hi, ladies and guys! I’m Christie Zane and what I have for you is a DEFIANCE exclusive! Signing on the dotted line just earlier today is DEFIANCE’s newest star! Let me check my notes!

Christie reaches down her very low-cut red blouse to procure a couple of index cards.

Christie Zane:
He hails from New Zealand! He has been wrestling for close to ten years all around the world and now he has moved to the United States to compete for DEFIANCE! Yay!

Christie holds out her hand to present her guest.

Christie Zane:
Say hello to one of DEFIANCE’s newest stars… “Twists and Turns” Oscar Burns!

From Christie Zane’s left, out comes a man in a bright orange t-shirt with “Hi. I Love Graps.” on the front in black print along with matching orange cargo shorts. The man with the spiky dirty-blonde hair and the pencil-thin mustache greets Christie with a smile.

Oscar Burns:
Ta! Happy to be here! Been a whirlwind twenty-four hours! Don’t even think the ink on my contract is dry yet! You alright, Christie?

Zane giggled.

Christie Zane:
Yeah, thank you! So Oscar, you’ve been signed to DEFIANCE just earlier today and this is just after you had a private tryout with DEFIANCE brass. What was that like?

Oscar Burns:
Quite intense, if I do say so myself! But I have spent the last nine years perfecting my craft all around the world! That’s right, darling! New Zealand, Australia, England, Scotland, Japan, Mexico, Canada… anybody that’s anybody will tell you I love the graps! It’s a universal thing that transcends language barriers and brings people and fans together! I’m proud to be in this sport, but I’ve worked really hard to be here and now that Oscar Burns has hit DEFIANCE, you’ll all get to see first-hand what I can do in that ring!

Christie nodded.

Christie Zane:
So about your weird nickname, Twists and Turns… where does that come from? Do you like a good roller coaster ride? A good M. Night Shymalan movie?

Oscar Burns:
Yeah nah bro! Coasters are terrifying! I don’t mind a good plane ride, but I prefer my feet firmly on the ground! I liked Sixth Sense when they were all like dead all along or whatever, but I can’t say I’ve seen a lot of his work… but anyway. Stretching. Hooking. The art of catch!

Christie Zane:
Huh?

Oscar Burns:
Mat wrestling, GC!

Christie Zane:
GC?

Oscar Burns:
Eh?

Christie Zane:
No, I didn’t say A. I said GC. What’s that mean?

Oscar Burns:
Good chap! Anyhow, mat wrestling! Submissions! Real old school stuff! I’ve been trained by some of the best and I’ve even taught a thing or two to some lucky folks. Don’t know if I’m allowed to tout handiwork in another fed’s wards, but over in nbW, Charlie Birkin and Lucky Carter? Both of them lads were trained by me!

Christie Zane had no idea what Burns was rambling about at this point so she moved along to a new question while faking nodding.

Christie Zane:
Well, now that you’re here, what do you think of the roster? Do you feel overwhelmed at all with all the talent here?

Burns nods.

Oscar Burns:
Oh, yeah, hard out! I’ve been doing my homework and DEFIANCE is chocka talent! I’ve sussed out more footage about this place than I have in some time and you have everybody! Monsters! Hard hitters! Even a fellow graps-lover like Reinhardt Hoffman! But here’s the deal, love: in almost a decade of doing this, I have been fortunate enough to wrestle in over twenty different countries. I’ve been to the US only a small handful of times, but now that I’m here on a more prolonged stay, I want to test myself against the best that the States have to offer and I hear that’s here in DEFIANCE! 

He elaborates further with more elaborate hand gestures as he talks. 

Oscar Burns:
DEFIANCE, you better look out when I go flat out! No matter if they call me eclectic, eccentric or electric, just know that I’m ecstatic to test my mettle and show the world heaps of talent! All right, love, I gotta hit the tapes. I’m eager to start and I already love myself some training! Gonna use the training facilities now!

The man called Twists and Turns walks off the set with Christie Zane still smiling.

Christie Zane:
Wow, he’s a ball of energy. Welcome to DEFIANCE, Oscar Burns!

Zane put down her microphone and was prepared to walk off but the scene hadn’t cut away yet. Yet she was not aware. 

Christie Zane:
Uh… anybody know what he said? Like, at ALL?

(Fin.)



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