Title: The Interview
Featuring: Malak Garland
Date: 12/30/2019
Location: DEFIANCE Wrestling HQ

Malak Garland power strutted down the ceramic tiled halls of the DEFIANCE Wrestling headquarters building. He thought it was just okay looking, but he couldn’t be bogged down by any of the small details because he was too busy paying real attention to what mattered most; his phone.

“Like, like, unlike, like... wait. Who posts a picture of their dog wearing pajamas? Comment on that... what a hideous puppy, I hope it gets hit by a bus annnnnnnd post,” Malak muttered to himself.

He scuffed his feet on the floor as his text neck was on full social display. Little did he realize that there were people bustling all around him.

“Excuse me, are you Malak Garland?” A soft voice rang.

Malak gazed upward in near pain as his neck had to readjust. He noticed a small woman standing in front of him with a clipboard in hand.

“What’s it to ya if I am?” He snarked back.

The woman nervously gulped.

“Well... it’s just... you’re turn to interview now,” She said with a tremble in her voice and finger extended to the door at the end of the hall.

“Cool,” He replied with half interest and half disdain.

Malak slouched back over his phone as he made his way to the door.

“Status update... just at DEFIANCE Wrestling... ready for my close up... front desk lady is a skizz, LOL annnnnnd post,” He whispered.

Malak entered the large cathedral like office. He wasn’t intimated by the mahogany desk, the plethora of gold pens or the gargoyle statutes surrounding the fireplace at all. If anything, he enjoyed any display of bravado-ism. He sat in one of the cushiest pleather chairs he could find, all the while still texting. Finally, a presumed DEFIANCE executive took their place behind the big, bold desk. Malak heard a voice directed towards him but he was too busy posting comments on ViewMe to care. Only once the voice died down did Malak finally lift his head to speak.

“Look person, I’m on a schedule so I will make it simple for you,” Malak started, “What is the darkest, seediest place on the internet? The comments section. It is where morals and values go to die. Basically, picture me like a walking, breathing, speaking version of that. I’m unabashedly crude and I don’t care who I shred apart as long as I get my 15 minutes of fame. Oh, and I’m looking to recruit as many keyboard warriors to join my cause as possible. Sound entertaining enough for you? Thought so... and just remember, there’s always something to be said in the comments section.”

The wink nearly sealed the deal as Malak ended up leaving the office that day with a fabled handshake and a DEFIANCE Wrestling contract.



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