Title: CASHING IN!
Featuring: Mikey Unlikely
Date: 09/16/2020
Location: Mikey Unlikely's Sweet Suite

The following events take place a couple hours before the taping of DEFtv 141...

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

We find ourselves in Mikey Unlikely’s Sweet Suite, Perfection and Unlikely sit discussing something when the knock happens. Annoyed, Mikey gets up and moves to the door to see who could be disrupting him.

Elise Ares & The D:
WHOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH…

The Pop Culture Phenoms push their way past Mikey Unlikely as the door opens, mouths agape as they take in the much more lavish accommodations of the suite. Klein follows Elise and The D, realizing how impolite they were leaving the door open, then shuts the door behind them. The Queen of Sports Entertainment style greets her old stablemate with a wave of just her fingers.

Elise Ares:
Hey BBY, nice place you have here. Hey D, take some notes, these are the kind of demands that we’re going to have to meet in our next movie. Good thing we have all that Netflix Money™ coming in. We are totes gonna need it to secure a hot spot like this.

The D:
Actually, maybe we could just use this one… Mikey, my man, you don’t mind do you? For the good of the production? Think about how much money we could save towards the special effects!

Elise Ares:
It’ll be like a Michael Bay movie!

The D:
Who?

Unlikely shakes his head incredulously. He moves his fingers to the bridge of his nose as he closes his eyes and tries to keep his composure. 

Mikey Unlikely:
What do you guys want!? We’ve been over this a million times, we’re no longer a team, you’re in MY Sweet Suite, and you’re not welcome here! You’re not going to be using this for any production, this is where all my business is done, at all times! 

Perfection flips the paper he has on the table over, covering up any plans the duo may have. Then he stands next to Mikey. While Mikey has a long history with the Phenoms, Perfection doesn’t know them at all and wonders if things may get physical. 

The D:
Ah you don’t have to hide the next tier of Mikey Money related rewards from us, we subscribe to the newsletter!

Elise Ares:
Five BILLION dollars strong, and we’re cashing in!

Suddenly Klein produces two black suitcases and plants them down on the table, on top of the overturned sheet of paper. Perfection looks over at Mikey, very, very confused.Mikey smirks knowingly. 

The D:
Mikey, baby, listen to your boy The D. We need a hero. An action hero. It’s a part that only one man on this planet can play… and that one man is you. We have our femme fatale in O-Face. We have our in-danger but kicks some ass romantic interest in Elise. We have the P E R F E C T sidekick. All we’re missing is you. It’s the job you were BORN to do.

Elise Ares walks over close to Mikey and grabs his hand, she pushes out her bottom lip and looks deeply into the FIST of DEFIANCE with her beautiful almond-shaped eyes.

Elise Ares:
Will you be my leading man?

He squints his eyes for a moment as if considering. 

Mikey Unlikely:
Wow! Elise! I’m flattered! Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not SURPRISED by any means that you would come to the resident actor in DEFIANCE, DEF’s top champion, as well as everyone’s favorite thespian, but I have to admit… my schedule is a little tight at the moment, I’ll have to pass. 

Mikey smiles curtly and turns back to Perfection and begins his conversation with him again. Elise waits about 3 seconds before tapping him on the shoulder. He spins around confused. 

Mikey Unlikely:
Oh, you’re still here… 

He eyes the doorway. 

The D: [motioning towards the table]
Mikey, listen, what I’m giving you is a SHIT ton of Mikey Money and the opportunity of a lifetime! This isn’t some low definition straight to VHS movie… 

Perfection:
Wait, they still make VHS!? 

Elise Ares:
This is a 100% QUALITY guaranteed, certified, bonafide, legitimate film opportunity, the likes of which Netflix has never seen! This is going to be bigger than Tiger Queen, my friend. THIS is going to be bigger than “Cuties”! Can you imagine? You may never need to sports entertain again!

The D takes a step past Elise Ares and right up to the current FIST of DEFIANCE. He reaches his hand out to close the deal.

The D:
What do you say, guildie? Let’s make magic.

Unlikely places a hand under his chin and thinks about it. After a few silent seconds, he reacts. 

Mikey Unlikely:
Pass… Thanks anyway guys! I really appreciate it! 

He turns to Perfection and puts a hand between them and the PCP’s. 

Mikey Unlikely:
I don’t really…. Appearances and all that. 

Elise and The D are flabbergasted that their deal of a lifetime wasn’t extended. 

The D:
Hold up. Wait wait wait… you’re PASSING?

Elise Ares:
What do you mean by “appearances”? 

Surprised that he could be heard Mikey backtracks. 

Mikey Unlikely:
Guys, seriously, it’s a great offer, and I’m sure your movie will be a huge success, but I’m already booked. Can’t do it. Plus I’m in the middle of three movie deal with Hulu AND a huge deal with a company I’m not even contractually allowed to mention. We’re old friends and that’s why I haven’t kicked you outta here twice already, now please… take your offer… and kindly shove it. 

The Leading Lady of DEFIANCE looks over at Perfection who motions at her to start walking out of the room. With jaw dropped she looks back at her former idol.

Elise Ares:
The fuck?

Klein reads the room and goes over and grab Elise Ares by the arm, gently pulling her towards the exit of the room as she slowly processes an entire rainbow of emotions in rapid phases. She doesn’t seem to be able to correctly process this series of events.

The D:
You’re going to regret this! 

The D screams as Klein goes back after pushing Elise out of the room and pulls The D as he attempts to get a few more words in.

The D:
My Mikey Money is as good as everyone else's! You have to at least recognize the value of my currency! 

Mikey Unlikely:
I said kindly! Why does no one ever feel good about that? Fails every time. Mikey Money is great, it’s the best thing ever, but Mikey Money isn’t going to buy my love! 

The D:
I’ll come back with MORE! Then you’ll have NO CHOICE BUT…

The door slams in his face. The D turns around to Klein and pulls his wrist loose and shakes his head in disappointment. How could this have gone wrong?

The D:
Ah well. Geez. What do we do now? What will we tell Flex and O-Face?

The door opens back up again and the two briefcases go sailing out of the room, opening in mid-air before throwing hundreds of dollars in Mikey Money into the air. As the briefcases crash to the ground, Mikey Money rains down on the trio who continue to stand in silence. After a few slow, excruciating seconds The D motions towards the others and begins to walk, leaving Elise Ares behind. Klein notices and stops, tapping The D on the shoulder.

Klein:
Uhhh…

The D turns around and looks at Elise, who is just looking over her shoulder back at the closed door completely still. Klein is the first to start walking towards her and puts his hand on her shoulder with no reaction.

The D:
Not this again.

The Queen of Sports Entertainment Style bites her lip and takes a deep breath. Her hands ball into fists and a single tear begins to form in the corner of her eye. She blinks, sniffs, and wipes the tear away with the back of her wrist. The expression on her face changes from heartbreak to resolve. Her eyes narrow and her jaw clinches. 

Elise Ares:
No… I’m fine. Really.

Klein lets out a sigh of relief and puts his arm across her shoulder as they walk away. The fire continues to burn in her eyes as the scene fades to black.



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