Title: Malak Picks Up The Tab
Featuring: "Black Out" Pat Cassidy
Date: January 1, 2021
Location: Ballyhoo Brew

It’s Balleyhoo Brew, and it’s the morning after the widely successful DEFy awards. The bar is trashed - suitable trashed considering all of DEFIANCE descended on it one glorious night - and as the morning light shines in through the windows, various Balleyhoo employees are hard at work at getting it ready for the afternoon’s opening and subsequent New Year’s bash.

While the workers sweep, mop, and shine… the “boss” is clearly keeping a close eye on them, as “Black Out” Pat Cassidy sits at the bar in a comfy hoodie, jeans, Red Sox baseball cap, and sunglasses. Behind him, displayed proudly right over the bar for all to behold, is his golden fist DEFy for “Upcoming Defiant Of The Year.” 

When we first lay eyes on Cassidy, it’s debatable whether or not he’s even awake. With a grunt, he reaches onto the bar for his coffee in a styrofoam to-go cup. He takes a sip, makes a sour face… and then a “aha!” motion.  Reaching behind the bar, he grabs a tall bottle of whisky. Removing the top of his coffee, he adds a few drops of the whisky and gives it a stir. He sips again. This time, he smiles with satisfaction. 

Pat Cassidy:
That’s the stuff right there.

As he enjoys his newly improved beverage, a Ballyhoo worker, a young girl in her twenties, approaches him.

Ballyhoo Worker:
Mr. Cassidy, someone left their debit card here last night. Should I give them a call to come get it?

Grunting, Cassidy reaches his hand out for the card. He moves his sunglasses down a bit to get a clear look at it… and then smiles and lets out a brief laugh.

No need. You know what? I think I’ll handle this one. Thanks.

With the worker off to continue her duties, Cassidy continues to look at the name on the card, grinning from ear to ear. He reaches into his hoodie and takes out his cell phone. He continues to smile at the card as he presses the touchscreen a few times, and then we can hear a ringing… followed by a muffled voice at the other end.

Newbludd! Time to get up and head down to the Brew, buddy. Remember that James Bond pinball machine we had our eye on?

A beat while Cassidy listens to Brock’s response.

...yeah. Well, I think Christmas has come late this year, my friend. I think we can swing it after all.

Cassidy laughs again as we fade to…

The backstage area of the Wrestleplex. Malak prances down the hall with his nose in his phone, completely oblivious to anything outside of his tunnel vision. He’s fresh off the heels of winning DEFIANTS of the Year, so life is good for the snowflake.

Malak Garland:
I am having such a good day! Nothing can bring me down.

Suddenly, his day goes from amazing to terrible when a bank notification pops up on his phone.

Malak Garland:
What is this? Over limit notification?

Malak investigates further to find out that his debit account is a shell of its former self with countless transactions from ‘BALLYHOO BREW’ pending.

Malak Garland:
How the heck did this happen? WHERE IS ALL MY MONEY!

A panic breaks over the Keyboard Master as he hastily pats himself down in search of his debit card.

Malak Garland:
My family told me I couldn’t be trusted with that debit card and I was determined to prove them wrong! Where is it? It has to be here somewhere.

Malak continues his search as the broadcast carries on.

More Propaganda | View "Black Out" Pat Cassidy's Biography



"Isn’t it a riot that a person who has no talent to speak of and who consistently failed at leveraging it to any success between the ropes believes she has the ability to see it in others? Because I find that knee-slappingly funny."

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