The word EXCLUSIVE appears across the bottom of the television feed. Tyler and Conor Fuse walk through the curtain and into Gorilla, holding three of the five UNIFIED Tag Team Championship titles (Conor has two). Jamie Sawyers and a camera crew quickly to catch up to them.

Jamie Sawyers:
Guys, guys, any chance I can get a word? The Fuse Bros. REUNITED and shocked the world just now!

Tyler hits Conor lightly on the shoulder to tell him there’s a camera in their faces. The younger Fuse was too busy celebrating by jumping up and down.

“Zero” Tyler Fuse:
That’s right, we did shock the World. We came back and ended that stupid annoying Sensitive Snowflake, Malak Garfield immediately.

Conor laughs.

Conor “X” Fuse:
No, no, it’s Malak Garland.

“Zero” Tyler Fuse:
Whatever.

Sawyers looks dumbfounded, since Conor is correcting Tyler on someone else’s name. Usually it’s the younger Fuse who doesn’t know. Regardless, Sawyers powers through.

Jamie Sawyers:
So why? Why now? Why’d you do it?

Tyler winks at Jamie.

“Zero” Tyler Fuse:
The timing was perfect. When my brother and I went our separate ways… it wasn’t going to be forever. He’s my brother. He’s… [Tyler looks behind him, seeing Conor’s all goofy smiles] something else but we’ve always got each other’s backs.

Conor tussles Tyler’s hair and then jumps in.

Conor “X” Fuse:
Ya bro! So I’ll give you some context but not all of it right now. When Malak Garland and Cyrus Bates won the UNIFIED Tag Team Championships it was a little… distracting to say the least. My brother was pissed. He doesn’t consider Malak a wrestler. They tainted these wonderful Achievements!

“Zero” Tyler Fuse:
I can’t stand crybaby bitches.

Conor “X” Fuse:
I’m like, “Bro, give them a shot, Malak’s an okay dude”. Then I got to know Malak. I thought he was an okay dude! But big bro is all “I want to snap this snowflake’s neck” and I’m saying “Snowflakes? They fall from the sky! WTF are you talking about?” And…

Realizing he’s getting off topic, Conor gives his head a shake and gets back to it.

Conor “X” Fuse:
I educated myself. I got to know Malak more and more. I thought we were friends. We carpooled to the awards together. We hung out here and there. Then for some reason he ruined my Friendship Members League display and showed his true colours. I was wrong; Tyler was right. It was time to reunite… get all co-op, multiplayer again and show this guy a lesson! For a while there, I forgot I had big bad bro with me!

Conor holds up two of the tag titles and sways from side to side with happiness.

Jamie Sawyers:
So I have to ask, which one of you was The One?

Tyler and Conor stop smiling and stare at each other. Tyler smacks Sawyers across the back while Conor leans into the interviewer’s personal space, grinning again.

Conor “X” Fuse:
OMG, it’s Fuse Bros. One. Duh!

That didn’t really… answer Jamie’s question but the interviewer is going to let it slide.

Conor “X” Fuse:
And don’t just think for a second my brother and I are content with these! [Holding up two UNIFIED Tag Team Championships] No way, let’s play! Ya see, Jamie, we’re going to be doing something different here.

Tyler’s good spirits continue as he adds on.

“Zero” Tyler Fuse:
Conor’s right. When we decided to go our separate ways…

Conor “X” Fuse: [clearing his throat in the background]
Singles campaigns, bro, singles campaigns.

“Zero” Tyler Fuse:
Right. When we went all single player… we weren’t going to stop there.

Conor “X” Fuse: [still in the background]
Not. At. All. [Pause] Booyakasha!

“Zero” Tyler Fuse:
We’ve come too far to quit. Isn’t that right, Conor?

Conor nods profusely and jumps back in.

Conor “X” Fuse:
Oh ya! You tell ‘em what’s going down! Sooo… we’re gonna do multiplayer AND single player… get this, Jamie, AT THE SAME TIME!! Imma be FIST and you be SOHER, Ty, is that okay?

Not giving Tyler a chance to answer, Conor rolls along.

Conor “X” Fuse:
Wait, you’re big bro. You can be FIST and I can be SOHER. Wait, wait, maybe FS for me. It’s a nice spot for me. I’m a quaint little player, let’s be honest. I sO fUnNy, cAnT bE mAiN eVeNt mAtErIaL! Bahahaha it’s so much fun to talk like that. Listen, Jamie, kidding aside, we’re coming for evvvrything!

“Zero” Tyler Fuse:
Hell ya. Everything and everyOne. You think I’ve forgotten I beat Kerry Kuroyama and started his downfall? Dex Joy, that title was mine and you know it. There’s an entire World to explore out there… TWO Worlds to explore and we’re gonna do BOTH.

The interviewer looks concerned at Tyler’s recent comments.

Jamie Sawyers:
Does this mean… uh?

Conor cuts him off, attempting to finish Jamie’s sentence.

Conor “X” Fuse:
That we’re bad goombas? No, not at all. Tyler and I flew off the system, so-to-speak for a while there but then I realized something. We are do-gooders, not do-baders! There’s sooo much bad in DEFIANCE right now. You have 2-4Play, The Kabab, Jay Harvey Dent and Linda Troy, Better Future Talent Acquisition guys…

Conor’s voice trails off, not 100% certain of their name.

Conor “X” Fuse:
A Game Boy MOCKERY named Rick, an emo zoomer named Scrow! So many NPCs with bad attitudes! But the one thing I like about my big bro here… he’s bad-ass extreme! He’s gonna take no Lost Lives from anybody, ya know what I’m saying, Jamie? Me? I just want everyOne to get along and have a good time! Together, we’re the perfect mix! More perfect than those Lucky Sevens. Which reminds me, hey, Tyler… did you know they’re brothers? Could’ve fooled me!

“Zero” Tyler Fuse:
They’re clowns.

Conor “X” Fuse:
Oh yeah, clowns! Gesture and Dragonfly, the ToyBronsonBox! Shit bro, shiiiiit, this is gonna be a BLAST!!!

Sawyers is at a loss for words so Conor continues, but changes the tone of his voice to mimic the interviewer.

Conor “X” Fuse:
And there you have this amazing easter egg for your viewers. Awesome possum stuff! Tyler and Conor back together. FUSE BROS. ONE BABY! The ultimate upgrade! !RANK !RANK !RANK SAVE THE DAY! SAVE THE DAY! FuSe iS LiT! FuSe iS LiT! Good day to you, Jamie.

Walking off set, the Fuse Bros. voices are still picked up by the camera mic.

Conor “X” Fuse:
We have so much to catch up on! Can’t wait for you to meet the rest of my family!

“Zero” Tyler Fuse:
Family?

Conor “X” Fuse:
Ya man. I got a statistical and analytical expert. He crunches numbers like W.A.R. and on-mat percentages. I have a Game Boy, he’s a blast. Filled with personality! I even have my own MEE6 BOT! !RANK !RANK !RANK bahahaha dude, I’m awesome.

“Zero” Tyler Fuse:
I almost killed a guy with a two-by-four… and I broke a championship with a sledgehammer.

Conor “X” Fuse:
Damn bro. [Long pause while contemplating] I put an old man through a tube television set. OH, I also sang karaoke and made a homeless BOT and drunk koopa bleed…

Fade.

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