Title: We're Mas As Hell
Featuring: Madame Melton
Date: 10/11/2022
Location: Teri Melton's Mansion

The camera fades in on the internal film room of the grotesque, bizarre Olde Hollywood mansion of Teri Melton. Teri Melton sits in an antique high-backed leather chair - ornate and Victorian. She is wearing a tiara made of multi-colored pansies around her head almost crown-like, with dangling silver earrings, a silver shawl over a black dress. The sound of a filmstrip hisses behind her as the light of it casts over her shoulder.

Teri Melton:
Look at that young woman. Would you just look at that darling young woman who had no idea what the world had in store for her.

The camera angle moves to show what she’s looking at. It’s a younger version of Teri Melton - early 20s, wearing a red bathing suit on some beach, blowing a kiss at the camera as the letters CSWA flow under the screen.

Teri Melton:
Professional wrestling was in my blood. My father was a wrestler. My brother was a wrestler. And I fell in love with wrestling as a little girl. All I ever wanted to become was a wrestling manager. My entire education was spent working towards that moment. Head of my class in high school. A 4.0 at the University of Southern California’s film school. And when I joined, I thought my cunning mind and with would help me guide my charges to the top of this industry.

The camera then shows Teri at ringside looking at a match between two long, forgotten tag teams.

Teri Melton:
But instead... something else happened. Now, I know I’m attractive. I’ve never shied away from being attractive. And I certainly know how to use my attractiveness to my advantage. But I was told by the powers-that-be that I had to emphasize my attractiveness. They wanted me to ‘sell’ myself on my attractiveness. And to ‘help’ me in that way... they gave me a nickname. Melons. 

The camera shows her not looking so happy in a very skimpy bikini back on the beach with the word ‘Melons’ on the screen in a 90’s fluorescent font pointing to her breasts.

Teri Melton:
Yes. I was not Teri Melton. I was ‘Melons’ Melton. And I had to pretend that I was okay with this. I had to keep a smile on my face while people - at matches, at the mall, at dinner - would use that word as my first name. People would even ask my parents how ‘Melons’ was doing. I had to sign my name at autograph sessions as Melons Melton. I was told that the only reason I mattered was not because of my skill. Not because of my ability. But because of my appearance.

The filmstrip shows young Teri with a fake smile on her face wearing a wet white t-shirt with watermelons drawn on in a suggestive manner.

Teri Melton:
Every day, I was objectified. Many people - all men - made money off of my body. I felt like I was a prostitute. I put pressure on myself to make sure that my body lived up to their standards -- starving myself, obsessing over counting calories, taking god knows what from a barely licensed doctor so other people could put me on a calendar they could sell to teenage boys. It was disgusting and degrading.

The filmstrip then shows young Teri Melton in an airport, looking like a dishevelled mess, with sunglasses over her eyes.

Teri Melton:
Finally, I had enough. I spoke up. I said that I would not let anyone do that to me anymore. That I wanted to be treated with respect. That I would no longer be called ‘Melons.’ I was called crazy. I was called a bitch. Eventually, I was terminated. Rumors were spread about my ‘backstage behavior.’ Other promotions wouldn’t touch me. And then the years passed. My name was forgotten. Or I was called ‘too old’ for professional wrestling. I was treated like trash and swept into the dustbin of history. 

The filmstrp continues to play as the camera reverses and shows modern day Teri sitting in the chair. She pauses and looks at the camera with an angry look on her face but her eyes welling with some tears.

Teri Melton:
RIght now, there is a teenage girl at home who is the most talented singer and performer in her high school... but the lead of the school musical is going to go to the perky cheerleader who looks the part. Or there’s a brilliant college graduate who can’t get his dream job on Wall Street because his parents could only afford to send him to a state school and not a proper Ivy League school. Or there’s a woman watching right now who has gotten passed over for a promotion, the position going to an average-at-best man awarded by an average-at-best man. Or there’s someone stuck at a dead end job with a dream they will never pursue because they’re surrounded by people who tell them it will never work out.

Teri’s face grows angrier.

Teri Melton:
There are a lot of people like us out there who are mad. They are mad at a world that is lined up against them. They are mad at being the square pegs in round holes. So are we. We are mad at being ignored. We are mat at being looked at as a sideshow attraction. We are mad, just like you.

Teri rises angrily from her chair as JJ Dixon and Zoltan seemingly step in from the darkness and flank her on both sides.

Teri Melton:

She pauses as she looks out at a horizon no one else can see, her charges behind her stoically.

Teri Melton:
And those of us who are standing and yelling together... we are going to one day take what is rightfully ours.And I will see to it personally. Because...

Teri makes The Fist of Defiance.

Teri Melton:
Teri Melton..

She leans over more into the camera as JJ and Zolton step a bit closer.

Teri Melton:
Is ready...

Teri bends down further and leans even more into the camera.

Teri Melton:
For her closeup! 

She stares intently into the camera and they wait a beat before JJ snaps his fingers. End scene. .


More Propaganda | View Madame Melton's Biography



"Wrestling's a cutthroat world. Every time a faction makes room for somebody new, they're giving themselves that much less room to succeed. If you're not good enough to beat 'em you can't join 'em. But I refuse to believe you didn't already know that."

- Kai Scott




1. Dex Joy
2. Malak Garland
3. Corvo Alpha
4. Tyler Fuse
5. Dr. Ned Reform


1. PCP
2. Los Tres Titanes
3. Lucky Sevens
5. The Devil's Circus


1. Kazuhiro Troy
2. Nick Lotto Otto
3. Punch Drunk Purcell
4. Archer Silver
5. BIGBOSS Batts