[A webcam feed opens on Python sitting in the kitchen of his apartment. His face fills the screen for a moment before he scoots back in his chair to address us with a grin.]

Python:

Hey, guys.

I have some stuff I need to get off of my chest, but sitting in front of the camera and verbally ripping my opponents shiny new assholes is starting to get a little tiresome.

So in an effort to keep it fun and interesting, we're going to play a little game called "Flash Trash Talk". My lovely assistant...

[Python turns the camera a bit to find his girlfriend, ex-OLW superstar Gemma Lockhart, sitting across the table from him and looking rather amused.]

Python:

...will hold up flashcards with my opponents' names on them and I have to respond with the first things that come to my mind. I have 30 seconds to discuss each one.  

Gemma:

You ready?

Python:

Born ready.

Gemma:

Alright.

[She sets a timer on her cell phone.]

Gemma:

And... go.

[She flips the first card. It reads "ALCEO DENTARI". Python shakes his head.]

Python:

With guys like Dan Ryan and Tom Sawyer not making it to the Ladder War, it's a wonder Alceo freaking Dentari managed to weasel his way into this match. Frankly, in terms of both ability and mentality, I think he falls rather short of championship caliber.

[Gemma cocks an eyebrow. Not wanting to lose any time, Python jumps back in before she can comment.]

Python:

Sorry, I know. Done to death. But look at me! I l almost never get to make height jokes.

However, I do frequently get to make "if your buddies show up I will break their faces" jokes because I am constantly facing assholes who aren't man enough to fight their own battles. So, I happen to have such a joke for the occasion. Ahem. Dentari, if your Gorillaz even think about getting involved in this match, I will go Clint Eastwood on their asses until they do not Feel Good, Inc.  

Gemma:

Solid.

[Python nods appreciatively.]

DING!

[A little bell on the timer indicates that 30 seconds have passed. Gemma flips the next card. "KAI SCOTT".]

[Python simply responds with an emphatic middle finger.]

Gemma:

HA!

[Gemma smirks and gestures toward the timer with mock urgency.]

Gemma:

Come on, dude! You've still got 25 seconds to fill!

[He proceeds to fill the remaining time with a theatrical routine of creative middle finger displays, including classics (such as cranking it up like a jack-in-the-box and blowing air into it like a trumpet) as well as few fantastic original pieces. He finishes by "swallowing" his middle finger and making it "reappear" from his ear.]

Gemma:

Honestly... I couldn't have said it better myself.

DING!

[Still snickering, Gemma flips the next card. "EDWARD WHITE".]

Python:

Edward White is shit with a beard and a bank account.

[Gemma snorts. Not, like, a gross snort. One of those little ones that badass hot girls do when something is amusing but they downplay it because they're cool.]

Python:

If his money could spend itself, his actual existence would be completely unnecessary. Either way, the scope of his irrelevance is breathtaking.

Dude is washed up. He knows he's washed up.

He plays confident, but he's grasping at straws. Eddie boy gets on camera and dismisses the past when discussing my accomplishments, but clings to it like a crutch when attempting to belittle me. He flaunts his recent résumé as if any of it somehow makes him better than me. News flash - no one is better than me until they fucking beat me.

And last time I checked, Mr. White is oh and one in that department.  

DING!

[Gemma flips the final card. "CANCER JILES". Python turns and speaks straight from the heart and into the camera.]

Python:

Cancer, you're not the only one who knows a thing or two about what it takes to be a champion. Or what it means to be the best.

I don't just walk on water, I fly over it.

I won't just rise from the ashes of this company, I will ride out of them on the back of a fucking Phoenix.

And when my time here has passed, I promise you the people will remember me as more than just a legend. They will remember me as one of their own. Because when I climb the ladder at Ascension and put myself above every wrestler in that ring and when I take the world championship belt and put myself above every wrestler in this company, the fans will remember this as the moment they joined me at the top of the world, because they know I will never put myself above them.   

DING!

[Python passionately continues, undeterred by the timer.]

Python:

This match is about more than another checkmark on a résumé, or seizing power, or proving you're the best.

I've got checkmarks.

I've sat on the throne and worn the crown. If I'm going to be king again, it won't be for the glory.

Cancer Jiles. Kai Scott. Alceo Dentari. Edward White. Come Ascension, we go to war for the chance to call ourselves champion. Champion of what?

Look around you. This place is a breath away from shattering to pieces. Whoever walks out of that match with gold around their waist will be nothing more than king of shrapnel. DEFIANCE doesn't need a pothead, a millionaire, a mob boss, or a general. Now more than ever, it needs a champion. And I intend to give this company what it needs.  

[Blackout.]

[End of feed.]

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